


Cage Me Like An Animal

by CaspyCasp



Series: The Athena Maris Story [1]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2018-10-22 06:25:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 296,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10691583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaspyCasp/pseuds/CaspyCasp
Summary: Athena Crystal Maris feels she has mastered the art of surviving. It's no easy task to survive in District Four, with her father's failing health, trying to support her family after her father and mother get fired from their jobs, training as hard as she can in the academy, and living in a Career district while sharing none of their beliefs - a crime punishable by death. Her hopes that she and her family might survive in one piece are destroyed when she is Reaped for the Sixty-Ninth annual Hunger Games, leaving her to navigate the world with her legendary mentors, Finnick Odair and Mags Flanagan, her district partner, Kai Emerson, her Capitol escort, Alayne Stentor, and her fellow tributes. Athena can only bring everything she has to the arena in hopes that the odds will prove to be in her favour.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Before you start reading, I would like to iterate that this is not my story. I did not write it, so I own nothing.  
> It is originally written on Quotev by bucky kentucky, and you can find her profile at www.quotev.com/writingmyowndeliverance
> 
> I own nothing. All things Hunger Games related belong to Suzanne Collins, and anything else belongs to bucky kentucky.
> 
> Thank you.

**I**

 

The docks that day were as they always were - busy, bustling, and loud. Athena Maris had to shout to be heard, but after doing this for years, it was no longer hard to make sure her voice was heard clearly over all of the noise. Today had been a particularly successful day in terms of fishing, Athena having caught more fish than usual, especially considering that she had been out on the water for less time than usual. She was excited to head down to the marketplace, knowing that she could easily make twice that which she made yesterday.

"Hudson!" Athena called to the captain of the boat she was always on,  _The Adventurer_ , who was currently triple checking that her ship was safely docked. "I'm going to go sell now!"

She held up the net carrying all of the fish she had caught that day for clarification. Darya Hudson, a lean woman in her fifties with leathery brown skin and narrow, monolid eyes who was always addressed by her last name, looked over at her and nodded, showing her approval, but called, "I want you back in an hour at most! No lingering behind, flirting with that pretty boy from the pastry shop!"

Athena shook her head and let out a laugh. Hudson had caught her talking to the pretty boy in question once nearly a year ago and would apparently never let her forget it. The fact that Athena did find the boy very pretty and had a slightly embarrassing tendency to glance over at him repeatedly whenever she was in the marketplace was entirely secondary. Hudson didn't truly care when Athena would be back, mostly because she knew Athena was more than competent on her own and didn't need to be looked after so strictly.

Athena walked off the dock, carrying her net in her hand, nodding and smiling at fisherman and sailors with whom she was familiar. The noise died down once she had put distance between herself and the docks, thought it wasn't completely silent. There was talk all around, people her age running around, calling out to each other, a few of them even singing Panem's national anthem. Athena herself felt none of their excitement, but she knew why they did; today was the day of the Reaping.

Unlike some districts, the Reaping was a happy day in District Four, one that brought joy and cheerfulness instead of dread and misery. However, this was not thought universally. The Reapings made Athena sick with worry, to the extent that she had even thrown up twice as a result, once during her first Reaping at age twelve, and again at age fifteen, two years ago. The whole month leading up to the day of the Reaping was full of stress that kept her awake at night, and the relief she felt when her name wasn't Reaped was dizzying, regardless of how selfish it probably was to feel relieved that another person was possibly being sentenced to death.

For a time, she thought that she was the only one who thought this way about the Reaping and the Hunger Games - and it was fairly easy to think that way. Nobody dared say a word against the Games or the Capitol in general. There was too much fear of the wrong people hearing, of even a harmless complain being taken as a sign of rebellion, of being thrown in jail or even worse as a result. Even alone, Athena often felt too paranoid to do or say anything less than positive about the Games of the Capitol, as though Snow and the Peacekeepers had cameras rigged in every corner, waiting for her to say just the wrong thing. However, once she started to pay close attention to others, noticing the little things the Peacekeepers never bothered to take note of, she found she wasn't even close to the only one who felt that way. There was always one person whose smile was a little less genuine, whose laughter didn't quite ring true, who was singing just a little quieter than everyone else. Someone who looked grim as opposed to joyful, who only clapped a few times softly during the Reaping where others screamed and cheered loudly, who let out a sigh of relief instead of a groan of disappointment when it wasn't their name that was called. The fact that she wasn't the only one that felt nervous and paranoid and terrified during the Reaping didn't really change anything, didn't make her any safer, but it made her feel a little less alone, which she thought had to count for something.

She reached the marketplace soon, walking past the shops and buildings to the slightly shadowy square with a variety of different stands, and she pushed the Reaping from her mind, focusing on the task at hand. When it came to trading and selling, you had to be smart. If the person you were trading with or selling to realized you didn't have all your wits about you, it was easy to be taken advantage of, to get a deal that was less than you deserved. Athena had learned that the hard way when she was fourteen, when she sold ten lobsters for about half their worth, and she intended to never repeat of the event again.

She walked over to the first stand, where Marie stood waiting for her, smiling kindly at her. Marie was an old woman, her face wrinkled and her hands gnarled, so old that she had even been alive before the beginning of the Games. Athena was told that when she was younger, Marie had been the sharpest mind anyone had ever met, and most of that cleverness remained today, but she wasn't quite all there anymore. That made it easy for some people to take advantage of her when it came to trading, and Athena knew that if she did the same she'd have more money to bring home to her family, but when she looked at Marie's sun kissed face and twinkling eyes, she couldn't bring herself to do it for the life of her.

"Got a gift for you, Marie," Athena said, placing the net on the table and opening it up. "How does ten fresh lobsters sound to you?"

"That sounds mighty wonderful, Athena," Marie said, smiling. "In all my years, I've never met anyone as young as you who could catch as much as you do in a day."

Athena smiled at the compliment, but shrugged it off modestly. "I have help. So, is it the usual, then? Ten for each?"

"That sounds about right," Marie said in recognition, nodding. "And I have the fifty from the other week that I never gave to you."

Athena nodded slowly, thinking back to the day three weeks ago when Marie hadn't had enough money to pay for all of the fish Athena had for her. Athena had known that the smart thing to do was to only give her the fish she could pay for, or make her pay in instalments with some sort of interest added to it, but Athena had looked at the empty tiller she kept on the table and couldn't bring herself to suggest either, all too familiar with the sensation of not having any money to spend, of having to choose between going to bed hungry for a few days or going a few days without any money to spend at all. In the end, Athena had given her everything she was originally planning to sell her and told her simply to pay her the rest whenever she could.

Hudson had given her hell for that one. She had called Athena soft, said that if she wasn't careful everyone in the marketplace would take advantage of her, and they wouldn't all be sweet old ladies, and that she ought to smarten up before Hudson let her go once and for all. The last comment was likely a bluff, but the former two could not be denied. The only thing was, Athena wasn't much for smartening up if it meant taking advantage of the poor and the helpless -  _she_ was poor, and occasionally helpless, and she knew it was hard enough without others making it worse. Not that Athena had told Hudson any of this.

"You sure? You don't have to give it to me right now if you need it still," Athena told Marie now, trying not to think about what Hudson would say if she could hear her now.

"I'm quite sure, dear," Marie said, patting her hand gently. "Besides, I suspect you and your family will be needing it more than me."

The comment embarrassed her, and she looked around her furtively to ensure nobody heard. Though Marie was probably right, Athena didn't need  _other people_ knowing that. Athena wrapped the lobsters up carefully, handing them to Marie, and Marie handed her the money, one hundred and fifty in total. Not bad for her first stop.

"I'll see you at the Reaping, dear," Marie said, smiling and nodding at her in farewell.

"Yeah," Athena said, her mood instantly worsening at the mention of the event to take place in a few hours, deciding not to point out that it was  _obvious_ that Marie would see her at the Reaping, since attendance was mandatory. "See you there."

With that, she tucked the money safely away in the moleskin pouch she kept with her, took the net in her hand again, and moved away to her second stop, a much more well kept stand run by a much younger woman, in her mid-twenties, named Selene. Selene was tall and lean, looking like she was built for life on the docks, but she was much more use in trade than in fishing. Athena had to be more careful with her.

"Always nice to see your face round here," Selene said, leaning back in her seat and putting her feet up on her table. "What do you have for me today?"

"How about fresh shrimp, just like you've been asking for," Athena replied, placing her net on the table, a safe distance from Selene's feet, and smiling pleasantly.

"I'm interested," Selene said, bringing her feet off the table and leaning forward. "How much are you asking for it?"

"One-thirty," she said, after a moment of thought.

"You're insane," Selene scoffed, leaning back in her seat and shaking her head. "You're lucky if you get ninety-five out of me."

"Now, wait a minute, remember what you're paying for here," Athena said, holding up a hand, careful to keep her tone light and charming. "You're not just paying for the shrimp, you're paying for continued business not only with me, but Hudson - and, I'll add, our troubles for getting the fish to you at all."

Selene raised her eyebrows. "This isn't nearly enough for me to pay one-thirty. Times are tough as it is."

"Come on, Selene, you're a genius at this," Athena said. "I'm sure you of all people know that sometimes the best way to make money is to spend it."

Selene remained unconvinced, and it showed on her face, but Athena was unfazed. This was how it was every time. Athena had aimed higher than what she truly aimed to get on purpose, knowing that if she started with her true price right away, Selene would demand for that to go lower. If she pretended one hundred and thirty was what she wanted, then Selene would be satisfied, thinking she had won by making Athena walk away with less than that, and Athena would be satisfied, because she would know that she actually had won. Everybody was happy.

"Fine," Athena raised her eyebrows, feigning slight frustration. "One hundred twenty-nine, then?"

"You're kidding, right?" Selene scoffed.

"One hundred twenty-five, then," Athena said. "Only because it's never too much trouble when it comes to you."

"Tempting, but I'm still going to have to tell you no, kid."

"Look, one-twenty is as low as I can go," Athena said helplessly, spreading her hands out in front of her. "If you don't take it, I'll have to go somewhere else. You know, where my troubles actually are appreciated."

Selene hesitated, only because she wanted to see if Athena would crack and offer to sell the shrimp for less. Athena held her ground on that number though, as that had been the number she had always wanted to sell for, and Athena knew from the look on her face that she had her.

"Alright, fine," Selene finally said, pulling out money from the tiller. "One-twenty it is, only so you know how much I appreciated all of your troubles."

"That's what I like to hear," Athena said cheerfully, wrapping the shrimp carefully and handing it to Selene, taking the money from her in return, and placing it carefully in the pouch. "A pleasure doing business."

"And you," Selene nodded once. "Good luck with the Reaping today."

Athena was careful about the way she responded then. She tried to remember any memory she had with Selene that was associated with the Games. She remembered, when she was much younger, not even old enough to participate in the Games yet, and hearing Selene complain about not being fast enough to volunteer before the supposedly, "daft bimbo got there first; this is ridiculous, she won't last a day in there!" The Games were an honour to Selene, one should strive to become a tribute.

Athena was very careful that the smile she gave Selene was light and cheerful and nothing else. That was one of the benefits of trading in the markets as long as she had. You became well-equipped at hiding your true emotions, showing only what you wanted to show, making people believe what they wanted to believe. "I'm hoping for the best."

With that comment in the air, she grabbed her net again off for her last stop in the markets that day, a stand in the very back, near one of the shadowy corners. Adrian, a man in his mid fifties with an oily face, greasy hair, and a smile that always looked like a leer, stood, waiting for her. In spite of his sleaziness, his arrogance, and his stubbornness, Athena loved doing business with Adrian. The sleaziness became easy to ignore after a while, his arrogance could quickly be used against him, and in spite of how he made himself seem, he was always quick to crack when it came to bargaining.

"So, what do you have for me today, doll-face?" Adrian asked the moment Athena was in earshot, not one for small talk.

Athena had given up on getting him to stop calling her pet names long ago. Simply ignoring the name and placing the net on the table, she said, "Fresh salmon. The kind they pay top price for in the Capitol."

"Really, now?" he said, raising his eyebrows, and Athena held back a smirk. Just mentioning the Capitol and the luxury they lived in was always enough to get Adrian's interests, no matter what the circumstances were.

"Really," Athena nodded.

"In that case, I think I can buy it off you for... we'll say... ninety?"

This was how it always started. Adrian was the first to lay down a price, always so low that nobody who knew a thing about trades would accept it. Then, carefully, she would talk him into paying a higher price. The key was to make him believe that  _he_ wanted to pay the price  _she_ wanted.

"Ninety?" Athena repeated. "Come on, you and I both know you wouldn't sell this to  _me_ for any less than nine per fish, and there's fifteen fish here."

"You want me to pay one-twenty for this?" Adrian demanded.

"One hundred twenty-five," she corrected. When Adrian looked at her blankly, she elaborated. "A little extra as a show of good faith to our continued partnership, a little extra as a show of appreciation to our efforts at sea, and a little extra because - well, we've all gotta eat, don't we?"

She said the last part with a little wink in his direction. He smirked, but still looked unconvinced.

"Look, this is fresh from the sea," Athena insisted. "And everyone who's ever had the salmon I caught said it was like eating like President Snow. Even ask the mayor, she's told me herself."

While the mayor, Isla Trenton, had commended her on how wonderful the salmon she caught tasted, she hadn't quite phrased it the way Athena had. It didn't matter, though, because she knew Adrian well enough to know that he would never ask about it.

"I don't know," Adrian said, shaking his head and raising his hands, as though to back away. "Seems like an awful lot to pay."

"Fine, then," Athena said, straightening up. "Looks like I'll just have to see what Leia has to say about that. She told me to my face not too long ago that she'd pay any price I want for my salmon. I might just have to take her up on that."

That had the desired effect. Leia, a merchant whose stand was a few rows over, was enemies with Adrian for reasons Athena didn't really know. What Athena did know, however, was that Adrian would pay any price for something, so long as it meant Leia couldn't have it.

"Fine, fine," he said quickly. "One hundred thirty-five. I'm throwing in the extra ten if you promise you never sell your salmon to Leia."

"How about one-thirty today, and an extra five on every purchase you make fro me from now on to make sure none of my salmon reaches Leia?" Athena suggested.

"Deal," Adrain said, holding out his hand for her to shake.

Athena smiled as she shook his hand, thinking to herself that he only said not to sell salmon to Leia. She was still free to sell anything else to her.

Athena wrapped up the salmon carefully, before handing them to him, taking the money from him in return.

"I do hope your name isn't Reaped today, sweetie," he crooned, as she placed the money in her pouch. "It'd be such a shame if a pretty face went to waste so soon."

"Glad to know who you aren't betting on," Athena said shortly, knowing that Adrian was among those that watched the Reaping and took bets on who would be chosen, what their reactions would be, how long they would last in the arena. Before he could respond, Athena grabbed the net, much lighter now that it was empty, and walked away.

Her eyes scanned the marketplace and saw, to her disappointment, that the pastry boy (Ian, his name was Ian, she didn't know why he was always the pastry boy in her head) was nowhere to be found. She decided after a moment that it was likely a good thing. If he was here today and they spoke to each other, he would mention the Reaping, which neither of them had done around each other yet, and she was certain that once he did, everything with him would be ruined. She just hurried out of the marketplace, thinking in satisfaction of the success she had had today. Four hundred in a day was quite the feat, especially when she had only made three stops.

When she was back at the docks, she found Hudson quickly.

"How did you do?" Hudson asked.

"Four hundred," Athena said matter-of-factly. "I got one-fifty from Marie - though, fifty of it is from the other week she couldn't pay full price - one-twenty from Selene, and one-thirty from Adrian. I also got Adrian to start paying an extra five for every purchase he makes from us from now on, but we can't sell any of our salmon to Leia anymore."

"Just the salmon?" Hudson asked, looking at her carefully.

"That's all he mentioned," Athena said with a smile. "Anything else is fair game."

"That's my girl," Hudson said, looking pleased, counting over the money when Athena handed it to her. Then, she took out two-seventy and handed it back to Athena. "And that's for you."

Athena didn't take it, though, frowning. "I thought I get sixty percent - that's more than sixty percent."

"Consider it a bonus in honour of the Reaping, then," Hudson said, placing it carefully in Athena's hands when she wouldn't take it herself. "Now run along home. The Reaping's in two hours, you should get ready, spend some time with your family."

Athena nodded slowly, flashing her a small smile. Hudson had lost her son to the Games, a long time ago; she knew the true horror behind them, there was no need to pretend here.

"Thank you, Hudson."

"Don't mention it," Hudson shrugged, and was walking away, already doing three different things at once, before Athena could say anything else.

With nothing else to do, Athena turned and headed off the docks again, walking back home. The Maris household was old and a little rundown, but one of its saving graces was that it was close to the sea, a ten minute walk from the docks and a fifteen minute walk from the beach. One of its other saving graces was the people who lived within it. Upon reaching the brick house, she unlocked the door ad walked inside, calling out, "I'm back!"

Her younger sister, Calypso, darted into the hallway from the sitting room, rushing over to her with a grin, saying, "How was work today?"

"It was good," Athena replied, bending down to give her sister a quick hug, smiling. "One day you have to go down to the docks with me, you'll love it."

Just then, her mother appeared from upstairs, and her father appeared from the kitchen. They looked pleased to see her, but there was apprehension in their eyes, and she knew why. One, because the Reaping was today, and two, because they wanted to know how much money she had made at work today.

Things hadn't always been this way for them. They had never been as rich as some of the other families in the district, but money had never been extremely difficult for them, and they had lived fairly comfortably for most of Athena's life. That changed after both her mother and her father had been fired from their before stable jobs. Athena had already been working at the docks, simply because she loved the sea and knew that was where she wanted to work throughout her life, but she started taking up more shifts afterwards, along with any other odd jobs she could find. Her mother and father moved from place to place, picking up any jobs they could find, but they were always temporary. Money was tight now, and it kept all three of them stressed out.

Calypso looked from her sister, to her parents, apparently sensing the change in mood. Calypso was only nine, so they kept her as far away from their financial situation as they could. She was too young to have things like that on her mind. Unfortunately, there was no keeping somebody away from the Games. Even if she was too young to be Reaped, she would have to feel the stress associated with it each year, the worry that Athena might be Reapred.

"Hey, I'll see you later, okay?" Athena murmured to Calypso, straightening up.

Calypso hesitated, but nodded, moving upstairs, probably to her bedroom. Athena glanced at her mother, then her father, then led the way to the kitchen, her parents following behind her.

"So, how was work today?" her mother asked.

"It  _was_ pretty good," Athena replied, taking out the pouch and pulling out the money she had made that day, handing to her mother, who placed it in the box where they kept their money, where it was then hidden away and kept under lock and key. "Got to take home two-seventy. How about you two?"

"I didn't have a shift today," her mother shook her head.

"I did," her father said. "I don't get paid until next week, though. That money will do us good in the meanwhile, though."

Athena nodded. A silence fell upon them, before she said quietly, "I should get ready. The Reaping's in just under two hours. Wouldn't do to be late."

She walked out of the kitchen quickly, jogging up the stairs and walking into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She stripped out of her clothes and hurried into the shower, staying in the shower for as long as she could without all the hot water running out, before stepping out and wrapping a towel around herself, walking over to her room.

Athena was careful with what she chose to wear next. It was standard to dress your best on the day of the Reaping. Not only was it supposed to be a happy, anticipated occasion, but it was televised across the country, and everyone wanted to make a positive impression with the Capitol. Finally, she found a dress that her mother had gotten her a long time ago and had been begging for her to wear; Athena spent most of her time working or at the academy, meaning there were never many opportunities to wear nice dresses. The dress was made of satin and dark purple, resting just above her knees, with a little bow near the side at the waist. Athena had never worn the dress before, and was pleasantly surprised by how well it fit her.

She stares at her reflection in the mirror, her head tilted slightly. The colour went well with her dark skin tone, and something about the dress made her look taller, which was helpful, as she wasn't all that tall herself (she was exactly five foot three and a half inches and one hundred twenty-five pounds, everybody at the academy was measured every two weeks). Her hair fell just past her shoulders, black and curly and occasionally very frizzy (keeping her hair sleek and straight in the heat and humidity that usually accompanied life in District Four was a losing battle she had given up on fighting long ago). With dark, almond shaped eyes, full lips, and straight, white teeth, she supposed she wasn't ugly, though she wasn't sure if she'd call herself pretty.

Athena looked away from the mirror to glance at the clock instead. An hour until the Reaping. She'd have to hurry. She walked out of her room to find her mother to help her with her hair. Athena didn't really need her mother's help with her hair, hadn't for years, but it always made her mother feel better to do it on the day of the Reaping, and though Athena would never admit it, it comforted her a little, too. She found her mother in her parents' bedroom, looking for something in the box in which she kept her jewelry. Her mother looked up at the sound of her footsteps, and smiled faintly at the sight of her.

"You're wearing the dress I bought you," she said, placing the box aside and standing up, walking toward her.

"It's beautiful," Athena said, smiling. "Thank you, I love it."

Her mother smiled and squeezed her shoulders lightly, before saying, "Turn around, I'll fix up your hair."

The hairstyle, one braid each side of her face, tied back around her head like a circlet, was the same as it always was. It wasn't particularly complicated, either; Athena could easily do it herself, had done it herself on several occasions, but her mother's deft fingers combing skillfully through her hair had always been relaxing to her. Athena watched her mother as she worked in the mirror. It was clear that Athena took more after her mother. They had the same face shape, the same eyes, the same cheekbones, the same mouth, the same dimple in their chin and furrow in their brow when they were focusing. Marella Maris carried herself differently from her daughter, though. She had a quiet sort of confidence to her, her very presence calming and soothing in a way Athena's never could be.

When her mother was finished, she took Athena's hand gently and lead her down the stairs. Her father was in the hallway, and smiled, a little sadly, when he saw her.

"You look beautiful, Thena," he said.

She smiled. "Thank you. Most of the credit goes to her, though," she gestured towards her mother.

Athena looked a little like Douglas Maris; they shared the same ears and nose and long, dark eyelashes. The physical similarities ended there, though. Her father was much taller than she was and would ever be, with lighter, wider eyes and a rounder face. He was also potentially the most ungraceful person she had ever met, a trait she was glad not to have inherited. What Athena didn't share with him in physical traits, she shared with him in behavioural traits. They shared a tendency to drum their fingers on their leg when they were impatient, to chew on their lower lip when they were nervous, to bite down on their fingers lightly when they were trying not to laugh. Her father used to be stronger, healthier, but in recent years, he had fallen ill, and it showed through more and more as time passed. There were medicine and treatments to slow the illness' progress and make him feel better, but there was no permanent cure that they knew of, and even if there was, Athena wasn't sure they would be able to afford it. One of many things to keep the Maris family stressed and restless.

"And me!" Calypso interjected, hurrying down the stairs to join them. "I was the first one to say the dress would look pretty on you."

"It's true," her mother agreed, putting an arm around Calypso and bringing her closer.

"Well, there's enough credit to share," her father said.

"I hope I look as pretty as you when I'm older," Calypso said, with a little sigh.

"Are you kidding?" Athena said. "I'll be happy if I ever look half as pretty as  _you_."

And Calypso was awfully pretty, too. She was only nine, but Athena was fairly certain that she'd grow to be prettier than Athena ever could be. She did share some traits with Athena (and, in extension, their mother), like their hair, mouth, and cheekbones, but Calypso Maris was her father's daughter through and through. She had his light brown, wide eyes, his nose, his ears, and his eyelashes.

Calypso considered her sister's comment for a moment, before saying brightly, "I guess I am pretty pretty."

"Oh, now you realise," Athena rolled her eyes, but grinned, nudging her slightly. Calypso let out a noise of protest and shoved her back, but Athena only laughed, unfazed by it.

Just then, they heard noises coming from outside. People her age talking, laughing, singing together. All of them heading for the Hall of Justice for the Reaping. Athena sobered up immediately, and suddenly, there it was, that unpleasant sensation in her stomach that she associated with this time of year.

"I should go," she said flatly. Potential tributes went to the Hall of Justice first, then those too young or too old to be Reaped filed in around the perimeter to watch.

"We'll be there soon, okay?" her father said, touching her shoulder gently.

She just nodded, trying to look more confident than she was, pushing back her fear and that nagging guilt that was starting to build up. "Yeah, see you."

Athena left the house before she could lose her nerve. She joined the adolescents walking down the street towards the Hall of Justice, slipping through silently, keeping her head down, praying nobody would recognise her and try to talk to her. Those who weren't eligible to participate in the Games watched from their homes, some smiling and singing and waving, others grim-faced and silent. Once they reached the Hall of Justice, which was more sombre and less bright than other parts of District Four, the crowd split off to one of the two tables to sign in - girls to one table, boys to another.

Signing in was as it always was - that was to say, she told the Peacekeepers at the desk her name, and they took a fingerprint and a blood sample from her thumb without so much as a glance ("Looking at them too long," she heard one of them tell their colleague once, "makes them like us. Makes them  _normal_. First thing you learn"). She noticed that they had been rougher with her than they had been with the two girls in front of her, but she was either too tired or too accustomed to it to care. Peacekeepers always stood guard around the Hall, but their presence was made unnecessary by the presence of the film crew that always showed up to film the Reaping. No one dares act out while the Capitol - and the rest of Panem - was watching. Athena shuffled forward, keeping her head down and trying not to think of the hours of sleep she longed to have, the ache in her muscles from all the work she did that day, that looming possibility of her demise being announced just minutes from now, trying not to think of anything at all.

Boys and girls stood on separate sides of the courtyard, where they were then organised by age - the youngest at the back, the oldest near the front. Finally, Athena slowed to a stop near the front at what she considered to be a safe distance - from the stage up front, holding the mayor, Isla Trenton, their Capitol escort, Alayne Stentor, and the District Four mentors, Mags Flanagan and Finnick Odair; from the Peacekeepers, standing guard around the perimeter of the courtyard; from  _people_ in general. It wasn't that she didn't have  _friends_ , per se. She did; at the very least, she was on civil terms with everyone that she encountered in the area, but Athena hated being around anyone her age during this time of the year.

She looked around, trying not to look too nervous as she smoothed down her dress, looking around at the people filling in around the perimeter of the courtyard to witness the Reaping, either too young or too old to be Reaped for the Games. The Reaping, she thought, was a very good way for the Capitol to keep tabs on the population. They could find how many people there were between the ages of twelve and eighteen, obviously, but they could keep tabs on the rest of the population, too, because unless you were on your deathbed, it was required to attend the Reaping or meet the same fate. Later, Peacekeepers would go from house to house, ensuring that nobody was skipping the Reaping. Those that were would be taken into custody. Not that that was ever really a problem in District Four. Most of the population couldn't wait to get down to the Hall of Justice on this day.

Soon, she found who she was looking for; her parents and her sister stood closely together, clearly trying to find her in the crowd. She considered waving or calling out to them, but decided against it in fear of seeming childish or afraid. When it came to the Career districts, it didn't matter whether you were afraid so much as whether you showed it. In the end, it didn't matter; Calypso saw her and tugged on her parent's hands, pointing to her when she had their attention. It was such an innocent action it made Athena's heart hurt, because all she could think was that in three short years, Calypso would be standing in this courtyard, waiting anxiously to see whether or not she was guaranteed another year to live. Athena was seventeen. After today, she only had another year before she was free from the Games. The thought didn't excite her, however, when she thought of her sister. She couldn't protect her from the games, volunteer for her if need be, if she was too old to participate. If her name was chosen, there was nothing Athena could do to help her, and that terrified her more than going into the Games herself.

Athena, however, expressed none of this to her family, and instead smiled reassuringly in response to their nervous one. Then, she turned back to the front as the mayor stepped forward, dressed in a long, black dress embroidered with gold, her hair tied back in a sleek bun, clutching cue cards in her hands.

"Welcome, everybody!" the mayor greeted, smiling around. "This is a day of significance for many reasons. One, through the Reaping and the Hunger Games, we commemorate the end of the Dark Days and the beginning of an era of prosperity..."

Her words were the same as every year. The mayor discussed the founding of Panem, thirteen Districts and its Capitol created from the ruins of a land once called North America. The peace that followed, disrupted by the rebellion of the Districts, led by District Thirteen. District Thirteen was then obliterated by the Capitol, leading to the defeat of the twelve remaining Districts. As punishment for the rebellion, the Capitol created the Treaty of Treason, with one of its terms being the creation of the Hunger Games. The Reaping was the ceremony in which the tributes were chosen for the Games.

The Hunger Games were very simple in concept. One boy and one girl between the ages of twelve and eighteen were chosen from each district. The boys and girls chosen, called tributes, were then taken to the Capitol for a week to train, before being dropped off in an outdoor arena. Once in the arena, all twenty-four tributes were to fight to the death until only one was left standing. The victor could then return to their district and live the rest of their life in comfort, and for the remaining year, their district would be showered with gifts, usually food. The Capitol dressed the Games as an honour, televised them each year like it was sport, but the Capitol's true message was this:  _you are at our mercy, your children are at our mercy, and should you ever try to rebel again, we will destroy you, as we destroyed Thirteen._

The Games were also, as everything the Capitol did was, incredibly biased. The richer Districts, the ones favoured by the Capitol, were always much more likely to win the Games. These Districts, including Districts One, Two, and Four, nicknamed the Career Districts, saw the Games as an honour and had special academies where children attended essentially from the moment they were born until they were eighteen. These academies had three main purposes: to teach the regular lessons required by law across Panem, to prepare children for their careers in the future so they can become useful members of society, and, most of all, to prepare them for the Games. Training for the Hunger Games prior to being Reaped was technically illegal, but these Career Districts went unpunished for it, due to the favour they had in the Capitol. As a result, most of the victors over the years were from Career Districts. Other, poorer Districts were not quite so lucky. Most notably, District Twelve have only had two victors in sixty-nine years, and only one of them, Haymitch Abernathy, was still alive today.

Even the Reaping itself wasn't unbiased. The moment a child turned twelve, one ballot is placed in their name; then, another ballot when they turn thirteen; this continued until they had seven ballots at age eighteen. The female and male tributes were selected randomly, each gender having a glass ball with all the ballots in it. Regardless, there were people who might have more ballots in their name than other people their age, if their family didn't have money and they had to apply for tessera. Meaning the poorer someone was, the more likely they were to go into the arena.

Mayor Trenton's regurgitated speech was one of the last things Athena wanted to hear. Especially when her muscles were sore and she was getting more and more tired by the second. Her attention on the speech wavered, occasionally listening, mostly zoning out. Her mind was on her small bedroom, her bed that she wished she was in instead of in this courtyard in the hear, listening to a history that Athena knew was warped and twisted to fit a lie on which the Capitol's regime and the Hunger Games were built.

She had to admit, though, she was more nervous for this Reaping than she let on. Both of her parents had been fired from their jobs, and besides the small, temporary jobs they managed to land, and the jobs Athena took on from time to time helping the fishermen catch and sell fish, along with any other odd jobs she could find, there wasn't much income for them; not to mention, weeks, even months could go by without finding another opportunity. Athena had known, no matter what her parents tried to assure her and Calypso, they couldn't go on like this.

There had been one option lingering on her mind ever since they had been fired. She was eligible to apply for tessera, as was everyone else eligible to compete in the Hunger Games. Applying would only supply her with a meager year's supply of food, but it was something. And if she applied four times, once for each member of her family... District Four was one of the richer Districts, and she couldn't help but feel embarrassed that she even needed to apply for tesserae at all, but with each passing day, it became clearer that she had no other option. Besides, her main concern with applying was something else entirely.

In order to receive tesserae, you had to enter your name into the games an extra time, once for every application. If Athena applied for herself and her family, she'd have four extra ballots with her name on it. It was selfish, but her fear held her back, kept her from accepting what she knew was likely the inevitable.

One night a little after the sixty-eighth Games, after her sister had gone to bed, Athena sat in the living room with her parents, discussing their current situation. Her father had just finished describing how his last employer had told him that he had too many workers and his lack of seniority made him the first to get laid off, having followed her mother, who had just informed them that very few people seemed willing to pay her to do any house tasks. She remembered the sinking feeling in her stomach that she associated with discussing their money (or their lack thereof) was worse than usual, knowing what she would have to tell them soon.

"So," her father said, sighing heavily and turning to her. "What did Hudson say? Does she have any openings for you?"

"No," she had admitted, looking down at the table guiltily. "I did whatever I could, but they still can't get me in for another month, and even then they don't have many shifts, so there's not a lot of money in it."

Her mother and father's faces fell. They'd never admit it, not ever, but they were disappointed and she knew it. At that moment, her resolve hardened.

"But," she said, and they immediately looked back up at her. "I think there might be something else. I... well... I could always apply for tesserae."

Her words were greeted with silence. She pressed on determinedly, more to fill the silence than anything.

"I know it's got a bad reputation and everything, but it's not that bad. Really, it's not. I've been over to a friend's house and they were cooking the food they get from tesserae, and it was fine. If you know how to cook it, it's actually pretty good. It's only really bad in the other, more worse off districts, Eleven and Twelve and those ones. Here it's a little better. And it's technically a year's supply of food for all of us. And all I have to do is-"

"Enter your name four extra times," her mother said, her voice one of deadly calm. "All you have to do is enter your name in the Hunger Games four extra times."

"Well... yes."

"No," her father said suddenly, startlingly loud in the dead silence of before. "No, no, no!" he stood abruptly. "Absolutely not! I don't care how long we go without money, I will never,  _ever_ let you do that!"

"Why not?" she said immediately, though she already knew.

"This is not a simple matter, Athena!" her father said. "This is your  _life_! And I'm not going to let you risk it like this with such little thought! You need to keep faith that we'll make it through!"

"Who says I've given it little thought?" Athena fired back, jumping to her feet herself. "I've been thinking about it for ages now! The only reason I'm only bringing this up now is because I was stalling, trying to  _keep faith_! You can't tell me you haven't thought about it either!"

"No, I haven't! I would never, ever even think about giving you or Calypso up for a little extra bread!"

" _A little extra bread_ can go a long way for us and you know it!" she argued stubbornly.

"Athena, you have to understand," her mother interjected, getting to her feet and touching her arm gently. Athena remembered her glancing up at the ceiling repeatedly; in hindsight, Athena realised she was scared of waking up Calypso. "If you go into the games, there's only a one in twenty-four chance you make it back. We could never risk letting you die for a little extra food."

"And if I don't apply for tesserae and we run out of food, then I die anyway out of starvation!" she retorted hotly. "The only difference is that you two and Calypso go down too when you don't have to!"

"Athena, you can't go into the games," he father said, desperation mingling with his anger. "You can't-"

"Why not?" she demanded. "Just because we're not rich doesn't mean I'm not still a Career. I've been training for the Games for years, just like everyone else here! Besides, if I am chosen and I win, I'll have enough money to support all of us for the rest of our lives!"

"It's different when you're actually in them," her mother insisted, glancing up at the ceiling again and now sounding more pleading. "Look at the victors here, Athena. For all their smiles on camera, they're all scarred, they'll never be the same again. Even if you do win, that's what's in your future. We'll never let that happen to you, Athena, not as long as we can help it."

"But-" she began, but then she glanced over at the dark staircase and saw her sister peering between the railings and immediately fell silent. Very suddenly, she felt too small for everything. Too small to be discussing this problem, too small to be able to fix it, too small for the Games, too small for this house or even her body (neither of which were all that big). She didn't have the fight left in her; besides, when she looked back at her parents, she knew she was fighting a losing battle.

"Fine," she said finally, very quietly. "Forget I mentioned it."

With that, she turned around and walked out of the room. She saw her sister jump, apparently not realising that Athena had already seen her, and dart away. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she saw her dart around the corner in the direction of her bedroom. Sighing, Athena climbed the stairs and walked to her sister's bedroom, knocking gently.

"Calypso?" she called out softly. When she got no answer, she said, "Come on, now, don't do this, I know you're awake and you were listening."

There was a pause, before the door opened a crack and revealed part of her sister's short frame staring up at her. When she did nothing, Athena raised her eyebrows at her.

"Are you going to let me in or are we going to talk like this?"

There was another pause, as though Calypso was contemplating her options, before finally opening the door wide enough to let her in. She stepped inside, and they sat down on the bed, stretching their legs out and leaning back against the headboard. Athena wasn't all that tall, but seeing the difference in their heights as she looked at their legs made her think with a pang that in three years, that small body would be at risk of entering the Games and never coming back.

With that thought in her mind, Athena didn't think she'd be able to say anything at all, so she kept her mouth shut and didn't speak until Calypso did.

"Are you really thinking about - about applying for tesserae?" her sister asked, staring up at her.

"I am," she admitted in a hushed voice. Athena put an arm around her sister and asked, "What do you think about it?"

"I don't think you should do it," Calypso said earnestly, grabbing her free hand and staring up at her earnestly. "I really don't, Thena. I'm too scared that you'll get chosen."

"I've done training," Athena pointed out. "I'm technically a Career, and they win all the time."

"You're not the only Career," she pointed out. "There's still District One and Two. And it's not always enough - otherwise other Districts would never win, and they still do sometimes, don't they?"

"Yeah," Athena admitted, holding back a sigh. "Yeah, they do. But still, you have to admit - the odds are a little  _in my favour_ , aren't they?"

She spoke with an imitation of the accent of those from the Capitol. Usually, it made Calypso laugh or at least crack a smile. Then, she did neither.

"Please, Thena," Calypso pleaded. "Please, please don't do it! I can find a job, if you want. I'm sure there's something I can find, I can-"

"No, you'll focus on school," Athena said firmly, cutting her off. "That'll do you more good than anything else."

"Well, just please don't do anything," Calypso said. "We'll be fine, really!"

"I can't risk that," Athena insisted. "I don't want to see what'll happen if we don't end up fine."

"And I can't risk living in a world without you!" Calypso burst out, tears springing in her dark eyes. "And... and I don't want to."

A ringing silence followed those words. Finally, Athena found it in herself to speak.

"You won't," she said softly, rubbing her back and bringing Calypso's hand to her lips, kissing the palm of her hand. "You won't, I promise. Not ever."

Athena was silent the rest of the night, and didn't leave the room until she was certain Calypso was sleeping peacefully, tucking her into bed gently. Afterwards, she went to her own room and lied in her bed sleeplessly, staring up at the ceiling blankly, a million miles away.

She supposed she couldn't really blame her family for their reaction, as frustrated as she was at their unwillingness to admit that a couple of extra ballots with her name on it could make things much easier for them. Had she been a parent, she could never allow her child to risk their life just to make hers easier. And had it been Calypso talking of entering her name a few extra times, she would go mad with worry. But the way Athena saw it as the eldest daughter, she couldn't let her family suffer like this when she knew there was more she could do.

Applying behind their backs really wasn't as difficult as she had at first thought. Parental consent was not required to receive Tessera. One day, when she had been walking back from training, she went to the Justice Building to apply for Tesserae, four times in all. Then, periodically, when she knew her parents had too much to do, she'd offer to go to the market for them to pick up the week's groceries. Overwhelmed and weary, they'd agree gratefully with little questions asked, and so off to the market she would go. Once a month, on the way back home, however, she'd stop by the Government Building and get the food ration for her family. The exchange was done with Mayor Trenton herself, who was kind enough to allow the exchange to happen at inconsistent times (done to ensure her family didn't catch on). She traded with the mayor frequently when the fishermen took her on, so they were familiar enough with each other. The mayor always gave Athena this sympathetic sort of smile when she handed her the food ration, like she understood what she was going through, which irritated Athena slightly, because she knew that Isla Trenton had never even come close to understanding something like this.

"You know my daughter, Delphine, she's your age," she'd say sometimes. "If she had to... I could never imagine, never. I wish you the best. Send the same sentiment to your parents."

Athena always gave the mayor a tight-lipped smile, thanked her, and assured that she would send her parents her regards; then, she went home and didn't speak a word about the mayor except when absolutely necessary.

Lying to her family about where the extra food came from also wasn't all that difficult. All she had to do was say that there had been some sort of special deal, or the trader that was there had been someone she had traded with before who had liked her and therefore given her more for less (sometimes, it even  _was_ true; it was just never the full truth). It was more food to put on the table, more to save for when times got tougher and food got more scarce, so they never complained, never asked too many questions. After all, she hadn't brought up applying for tesserae again after that first time, so why would they think that's what it was?

The only real difficulty was the churning guilt in her stomach every time she thought of how desperate her parents were to keep her out of the games, the fear and sadness on Calypso's face as she told her she didn't want to live in a world without her.

But that was then, and this was now, and now, she was walking into the Reaping with ten ballots in her name instead of the six that it should have been. It had been her choice - and, in spite of her mounting anxiety, she didn't regret it - and she was willing to bear the consequences of it, but that didn't mean that the thought of those consequences didn't make her stomach turn.

She had begun training harder in preparation, nearly wearing herself out completely on some days, but the fact was that she still wasn't the best fighter even among those training with her, let alone all of Panem. She might be able to hold her own in a fight, but she wasn't certain of what would happen in a life or death situation when her opponent was even more desperate to survive than her. But she was a lot more quick-thinking than a lot of her fellow trainees, better at gauging people's strengths and weaknesses. She figured that had to be helpful in the Games. And in any case, she had the fact that if she was chosen in the Reaping, there was no choice but for her to win. She had to return to her family. If she left them like that and never returned, it would break them. And in any case, without her to help bring money in and food on the table, they'd be in an even worse situation than before, especially with her father's deteriorating health.

And so now she stood in the Hall of Justice with the sun beating down on her, listening to Isla Trenton prattle on about the history of Panem and the Hunger Games, the honour winning the Games brings, about how it was an honour to be a tribute at all, waiting anxiously for the names that always sounded like two death sentences to be called out.

"... it is both a time for repentance and for thanks. District Four has always been prosperous in many ways, including that we have had many victors over the years," the mayor went on, before listing the victors in question.

There were certainly a lot, though many of them were no longer alive. The only ones still living were Mags Flanagan, one of the oldest victors in all of Panem; Noah Moore, who had won the Games by strangling each of his opponents with his bare hands; Murphy Arno, who had won by drowning all of his opponents; Lillian Brooks, who had won her Games by looking innocent and unassuming so everybody accepted to an alliance with her, then killing them in their sleep; Finnick Odair, who had won his Games by trapping opponents in his net and stabbing them with his trident; and Penelope and Talisa Nereus, twins who had won the sixty-sixth and sixty-seventh Games respectively, both of them winning by hiding out of the way from everyone else, then hunting down the last tribute standing and slitting their throat. There was applause as each name was read out, but it was loudest at Finnick's name, and Athena saw several people give him long, admiring looks. It was clear that Finnick Odair's good looks brought him popularity in the districts as well as the Capitol, in spite of four years passing since he had won his Games.

"And now may I introduce our esteemed Capitol escort, Alayne Stentor, for the drawing!" the mayor finished off, moving aside to allow Alayne to step forward, while the crowd clapped politely.

Alayne Stentor was dressed all in red for this Reaping, the dark red contrasting with the powdery paleness of her skin. Even her hair, straight and so long it reached her hips, was a dark, blood red. A very fitting thing for the Reaping, though Athena doubted Alayne truly realised it. She tapped the microphone, most likely simply to be obnoxious and allow the high-pitched frequency to reverberate across the courtyard, for Alayne must know the microphone worked if the mayor had just been using it.

"Welcome, welcome!" Alayne announced brightly. "Welcome to the Reaping of the sixty-ninth annual Hunger Games! It is my great pleasure to be back in District Four at this wonderful time of year! Let us all take a moment to celebrate sixty-nine years of the Hunger Games!"

The crowd broke into thunderous applause at her words. Athena rolled her eyes, seeing nothing to celebrate in sixty-nine years of forcing children to murder each other for sport, but that wasn't the sort of attitude one was supposed to have about the Hunger Games - at least, not in public - so she clapped along with everyone else, stopping the moment she saw other people had stopped, as well.

"And now, without any further ado, let the Reaping begin!" Alayne finally announced brightly. Out of the corner of her eye, Athena saw Finnick Odair roll his eyes skyward and mouth something that to Mags Flanagan that looked a lot like ' _finally_.' In spite of herself, the corners of her lips twitched upwards in a smile. "Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favour!"

If she was about to smile, the sight of Alayne Stentor stepping towards the two glass balls containing all of the ballots to the sound of thunderous applause and cheering stopped that dead in its tracks. She watched with bated breath, trying her best to remain calm, joining in on the clapping so she didn't stand out.

"Ladies first, as always," Alayne announced, smiling at the crowd as the noise subsided.

Athena glances over at her family, who were looking from the stage and her. She had to come back to them. No matter what happened, she had to come back. She loved them too much and they loved her too much and her father was sick and her mother was all but wrung out completely and Calypso was too young, too young for any of this-

Alayne stuck her hand in the glass ball on the right, mixing up the ballots for a moment, before finally pulling one out. She unfolded it unbelievably slowly, and Athena was starting to feel sick to her stomach.

"And the female tribute for District Four is," Alayne began, before pausing for dramatic effect. Everything felt frozen, surreal, and Athena felt trapped, "Athena Maris."

Athena lurched forward in reaction to her name, as though someone behind her had pushed her over. If her name being chosen didn't get people's attention on her, that did. Feeling as though she would collapse under the wight of everyone's eyes on her, that she would melt into the floor and disappear forever, she walked forward, a little too slowly, she knew, but she was rather impressed that she was remaining even remotely composed. Athena was surprised that nobody was volunteering. That was all anyone ever talked about during training - how they were going to make sure they were first to volunteer if they weren't chosen. Maybe her stepping forward as quickly as she did was considered accepting first. It would explain all the stunned, even resentful looks on the faces of many girls her age.

"Athena!" a voice screamed to her left and, as though in a daze, she looked over to see Calypso running towards her, her eyes shining with tears quite clearly even from this distance. Somehow, she darted past the Peacekeepers and was running straight to her, the crowd parting hastily to let her pass. Automatically, Athena dropped to her knees and stretched out her arms just in time for Calypso to jump into them.

"Athena, please don't go," Calypso whispered urgently to her. "Please, please don't."

"I have to," Athena said, her voice sounding foreign in her own ears. "You know that, don't you?"

"No, you don't!" Calypso insisted desperately, shaking in her arms. "We can run, we can find a way, we can-"

"No, we can't!" Athena said, and she was becoming convinced that her body was not her own, because she did not understand how she could sound so calm when she felt like she was coming undone. "You know we can't. Listen to me. Listen," she took Calypso's face in her hands, as gently as she could. "Relax, okay? Relax. I need to go up there, but we get to say goodbye before I go. I need you to hold it together until then, okay?"

Calypso stared at her, a tear sliding down her cheek, then nodded slowly.

"Okay," Athena said, straightening up again and nudging her gently in the direction of their parents. "Now go. Go on, I'll see you soon, I promise."

Calypso hesitated, before hurrying away, slipping deftly between Peacekeepers again and rejoining their parents.

When Athena looked back to the front, she realised that everyone was getting tired of waiting. Alayne was still smiling brightly, but it was getting faker and faker by the second, and Athena was convinced she wished she had drawn anyone's name but hers. Finnick Odair's face was unreadable, but he didn't look impatient or angry, which helped. Mags Flanagan looked at her with an understanding and sympathy that helped even more. The potential male tributes looked restless, tired of having to wait for her to see whose name would be drawn. The girls her age were now more resentful than stunned, probably furious that this unassuming, small, terrified excuse for a girl had taken away their chance at becoming a victor.

" _You can have it,_ " she wanted to say. " _Have your Games and your tributes and your victors. I don't want any of it. I just want my family to be okay._ "

She was aware, however, that if she said any of this aloud, she'd be dead before the Games could do her any harm, so she just kept walking instead, focusing very carefully on putting one foot in front of the other. The walk up the steps to the stage felt as though it stretched on forever, the steps themselves feeling as though they were a thousand feet high, but soon she was at the front of the stage, looking out at the sea of faces, unable to focus on a single one.

"Nice of you to join us, dear," Alayne said, with a falsely sweet tone to her voice, causing a ripple of laughter to surge through the crowd. It would have grated at Athena's nerves any other day, but today she barely heard her.

"And now onto the boys!" Alayne continued, smiling, a little more genuine now. She walked towards the second glass bowl, sticking her hand in all of the ballots, before pulling one out and unfolding it, reading, "Kai Emerson."

Similar to Athena, Kai Emerson stepped forward immediately, but he moved with more casual confidence than Athena had. He raised a hand lazily, showing he accepted the challenge at hand before anyone could volunteer. He was up on stage in the blink of an eye, it seemed, but that wasn't possible. The journey from the crowd to the stage had been thousands of miles for her, how could it have been so quick for him?

"And there you are!" Alayne said brightly, as a child around Calypso's age climbed onto the stage from each side, each one carrying a bouquet of flowers to give to the two tributes. Trying to fight the nausea building up in her throat, she took the flowers with a small smile, noticing that they were white roses. President Snow's favourite flower. "Your male and female tributes for the sixty-ninth Hunger Games!"

The applause this time was much less enthusiastic. Many people were clearly disappointed that it was not them up on stage instead.

Isla Trenton took Alayne's place on stage, holding new cards in her hands, beginning to read off the long, dull Treaty of Treason. It was customary. It was tradition. Athena wasn't listening to a word of it. Not that she ever did - listening to it once at age twelve and reading it a handful of times in the academy was more than enough for her - but now it was particularly impossible to pay attention to it. Athena was starting to remember that this was being televised, that the world was focusing on her reaction, other tributes deciding whether she was a formidable foe or an easy target. She had already shown enough fear as it was. She had to keep it together from now on. She straightened her posture, squared her shoulders, and held her head up high, even managing a small smile, glancing furtively over at Finnick and Mags as reference on how to look calm, cool, and confident.

"... without further ado - tributes-" Isla said, taking a step back and motioning for them to shake hands.

Athena and Kai turned to face each other. She recognised him, she realised. She had seen him at the training academy. They had sparred with each other once, but they never got to finish... the instructors stopped them before they could... they had bumped into each other once and both laughed it off... they would be fighting to the death in a matter of days, the way they were taught to do. One or both of them would be dead within weeks.

Kai held out his hand for her to shake. Up close, he didn't look so confident. His eyes were wide and they shone with fear. What Athena had mistaken for indifference was a sombreness that she had rarely seen. She reached out and took his hand, shaking it. Then, the way the tributes always did in District Four, they turned to the crowd, still holding hands, and raised them above their heads. The applause became more enthusiastic at that, punctuated with a few cheers and whistles. Disappointment was being replaced for pride for the district.

Once they had let go and moved away from each other, the national anthem of Panem began to play, signifying the end of the Reaping. The moment the anthem finished playing, a group of Peacekeepers walked forward, marching Athena and Kai into the doors of the Justice Building. Athena didn't know why they did that every year, sometimes wondered if a newly Reaped tribute had tried to escape once before. If it had happened, it must have been long ago, because Athena had no memory of it ever happening.

Athena glanced back over her shoulder as the Peacekeepers ushered her inside of the Justice Building, catching one last glimpse of the district, the sea of faces, before the doors swung shut, barring her from the place that had been her home for seventeen years. The place she may never return.


	2. II

**II**

 

Athena and Kai were conducted into separate rooms after being ushered into the the Justice Building. Mayor Trenton followed Athena into one room, which was small but stylishly decorated, with silk drapes and leather seats. The mayor gestured for her to sit in the chair opposite the desk that sat opposite the door. Athena shuffled forward and sat down wordlessly. Mayor Trenton walked over to the other side of the desk, but did not sit down.

"How are you feeling, Athena?" the mayor asked her, smiling bracingly.

Athena knew now was the time to beam up at Mayor Trenton and tell her that she was great, she was fantastic, she was so, so excited to be representing her district in the Games. She couldn't bring herself to do it, though. She couldn't bring herself to speak or even react to the mayor's words at all, simply staring blankly ahead of her.

"Athena?" said the mayor again, but she still couldn't speak. Mayor Trenton pressed on regardless. "Athena, you have an hour to say goodbye to your loved ones before you get on the train, but you can't leave the room. Stay here, anybody who wishes to say goodbye will come to you. Okay? Nod if you understand."

Vaguely, Athena wondered why the mayor was bothering to tell her any of this when one of the first things taught in the academy was what happened directly after getting Reaped, saying goodbye and all the rules and regulations that followed it. She figured Mayor Trenton had to know that, but she didn't say it out loud. She wasn't sure she could bring herself to say it even if she wanted to, so instead she just nodded once. The mayor looked relieved.

"Good," she said, sounding a million miles away. "Now I have to go speak with Kai, but just wait here, okay? Your loved ones will be here any minute, don't move."

Athena wasn't really sure why the mayor was going through so much effort to stress to her to not leave the room when she knew for a fact that Peacekeepers were standing guard outside, waiting to detain her if she tried to run. Maybe she didn't want Athena to do anything to embarrass her and all of the district. Either way, Athena nodded again to show that she understood, and Mayor Trenton gave her a smile and moved out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Through everything, Athena took a moment to be grateful that she wasn't crying. There would be more cameras at the train station, and the last thing she needed was for all of Panem to see her tears. People would already be doubting her for her lack of confidence when her name was called. She needed to do what she could to make up for that mistake. She needed to be smiling and confident and bold when she got to the train station. She needed to stop feeling like her chest was closing in on itself, or at least learn to ignore it within the next hour. She needed to remember how to breathe right. She needed to survive this, she needed to get back to her family, she needed-

The door swung open, bringing her out of her shock. Suddenly alert and desperate to see her family more than anything, Athena leapt to her feet, turning around. To her surprise, though, it wasn't any member of her family rushing towards her, but a short girl her age in a bright orange dress, with long blonde hair plaited down her back and vibrant green eyes that were alight with anger.

"What the hell, Athena!" Iris Dunne said furiously, striding forward and shoving her up against the desk.

"Iris? What are you doing? Get off me!" Athena protested, shoving her away and taking a few steps away from the desk, but at a safe distance from Iris. "What is your problem?"

This was the very last thing Athena had been expecting. Iris Dunne attended the academy with Athena, and was the top trainee in their whole year. Though she excelled in nearly every area taught in the academy, she was best at throwing knives with deadly precision, wielding short range weapons (she was best with a sword), and instantly identifying different type of plants from different environments. She looked forward to the Reaping more than nearly anyone Athena knew. Athena and Iris weren't particularly close, but Athena considered them - or, at least,  _did_ consider them - as friends, since they usually got along fine and even enjoyed each other's company (only when they weren't talking about the Games, though).

"My  _problem_?" Iris repeated disbelievingly. "My  _problem_ is that it should be  _me_ going to the Capitol in an hour!"

Athena stared at her, stunned. She knew that Iris always looked forward to the Reaping and was always disappointed when it wasn't her representing their district. Hell, she'd even seen her face among the crowd, looking disappointed and even angry that it was Athena on the stage instead of her. She just didn't think Irish would be  _this angry_ about it. Had she done this every year since they were twelve, with every female tribute?

" _That's_ what you're mad about?" Athena said in disbelief. "That I was Reaped and you weren't? Is that supposed to be my fault? What, do you think I rigged the drawing?"

"No, I don't! That's the whole point!" Iris replied, even more angry that Athena wasn't getting it right away. "You don't want to do this! We all know it! I've always been able to tell! It's not fair that you're representing our district when you don't even  _want_ to! The whole reason you even got Reaped was because you had to apply for tesserae!"

It probably would have been the last thing on Athena's ind, but she was caught off guard and a little embarrassed by the comment. "How - how did you know about that?"

"You really think none of us ever saw you leave with your food ration? Or figured out why you suddenly started trying so much harder at the academy?" Iris scoffed. Athena just stared at her, blinking, which only seemed to infuriate her more. "Ugh - see! You don't even try to deny it!"

Iris threw a punch at her this time to try and let out her anger, but hand to hand combat had always been one of her few weak points, and her anger threw her off even more, so Athena dodged the hit with ease. Athena didn't really see the point of denying it when they both knew it was the truth, but she also knew it was likely the last thing Iris wanted to hear.

"I don't know what you want here, Iris," she said instead. "Do you think hitting me is going to change the fact that you're not the female tribute this year?"

"No," Iris admitted, "but killing you might."

With that, Iris slammed her against the wall, pulling out a knife and pointing it at her throat. Her hold on her was sloppy, though, and relatively easy to escape. With a well-placed kick and a punch, Athena had managed to switch their positions so that Iris was against the wall instead. She made sure her stance was more solid, pressing her forearm against her throat to keep her in place, disarming Iris with ease.

"Have you lost your mind?" Athena hissed, brandishing the knife. "I'm a tribute now, my life is worth more. The only place killing me will get you is in front of a firing squad. Look, I'm sorry that I took away your chances of bringing honour to your family and the district, and I'm sorry that I don't deserve it as much as you do, but it's too late to change anything now. Even if you did kill me and get away with it, there's no guaranteeing you'd get Reaped the next time. You've got another year, how about you make that one count?"

Iris said nothing, still looking livid, but she wasn't struggling against her hold on her. Athena waited, studying her face carefully, making sure she wasn't waiting to strike. Once Athena was sure she wouldn't try to kill her again, she released Iris, backing away a few steps for good measure. At first, Iris did nothing, simply shuffling forward a few steps and rubbing her throat where Athena had put pressure on it. Athena was left to reflect on how bizarre the whole thing was; she had been selected to compete in a fight to the death with twenty-three other tributes around her age in some unknown location, and somehow, petty drama and jealousy back home was threatening to kill her before other tributes and the Gamemakers even got the chance.

Suddenly, Iris rushed towards her again, throwing a vicious punch, aiming for her face. Taking a moment to be grateful that Iris had never been very good at hand to hand combat, Athena ducked, backing away another few steps to put distance between them. There was no need, though, for Iris appeared to be done fighting.

"Look at you!" she exclaimed, somewhere between angry and defeated. "All you do is run away. You don't even try to fight back!"

Athena said nothing, unsure of what there even was to say to that. Iris let out a frustrated noise, throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation. She spun on her heel and stormed away, but stopped at the door. Her hand still on the doorknob, Iris turned to look at her squarely.

"You know you're going to die in there, right? You realise there's no way of you getting out the arena alive, don't you?"

The worst part about the statement was that it wasn't even said out of anger or resentment or even jealousy. There was no malice in Iris' voice. She was only saying it because she knew it to be true.

"Yeah," Athena replied flatly, looking down at the floor. "Yeah, I know," she looked back up at Iris, and gave her the fakest, most sickly sweet smile. "And then maybe  _next_ year, you can bring honour back to the district."

Iris shook her head disbelievingly, still angry, and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Athena barely heard it, though, stumbling backward until her back was against the wall. Sighing, she tossed the knife onto the desk, trying to ignore the fact that the room was spinning and her stomach was turning. Iris was right. No matter how much she needed to get back to her family, she couldn't imagine a reality where she went into the arena and came back out alive. Even if none of the tributes could kill her, she would still have to kill others to make it out. Physically, she might be able to; her time at the academy, and working the docks made her fit, quick, and powerful. But the fact was that she had only ever killed fish and other seafood, and even that had made her squeamish for a few months. Would she really be able to end the life of another human being, one who probably wasn't so different from her, who probably just wanted to get back to their own family?

Athena wasn't sure how much time passed between the door slamming shut behind Iris and then opening again, but she did flinch slightly at the sound, her head snapping up. She had been expecting another attack. To her surprise, it was Hudson, who was crossing the room to get to her in two quick strides.

"Hudson - what are you doing here-?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Hudson said sharply. "I'm here to say goodbye before your trip - what, did you think it'd be the pastry boy?"

"My  _trip_?" Athena repeated disbelievingly. "You make it sound like I'm going on vacation. Hudson, I'm going into the  _Games_."

"I know that," she said impatiently. "And I call it a trip because I know you're coming back. You're a strong girl, Maris. I've seen you work over these past few years, and I know you're strong. What's more, you're smart, too, and that matters just as much in the arena. You can win this," Hudson insisted, taking her face in her hands and looking at her sternly. "I know you can. You've got what it takes."

"I haven't got anything close to what it takes," Athena whispered, shaking her head. "Nothing close."

"Yes, you do," Hudson said. "The Games are a hunt, you can hunt"

"I can stab seafood with a spear," Athena said, helplessness swelling inside her like a balloon.

"Fish can be a lot harder to stab than people," Hudson said wisely.

"Hudson, I don't know if I'll be able to do it," Athena said, shaking her head. "Kill someone, I mean. When it comes to it, I don't know if I can."

"You have to, because that's how you get out," Hudson said. "When I said you were strong, I didn't just mean physically. Anybody can get strong physically. I meant here-" she tapped her temple once -" and here-" she tapped her chest. "That's not something you can just learn at a training academy. I don't bet, because it's sleazy and it's disgusting, but if I did, I'd bet on you. Now, stop this nonsense. You stop this and you do what it takes to get back home where you belong."

Never one for long, sappy goodbyes, Hudson already began to walk away, but Athena called her back desperately. "How can you be so sure? What makes you so certain I can do any of this?"

When Hudson turned to look at her again, there was a sad smile on her face. "When my boy god Reaped all those years ago, I knew the moment they called his name that he wouldn't make it out. I just knew. With you, the feeling was the exact opposite. You've got everything a victor has except the arrogance, and my boy didn't have anything but the arrogance. It's nothing to be sad about," she added dismissively, at the look on Athena's face. "The truth is the truth, and there's no use denying it."

No sooner had Hudson left the room did Calypso race into it, followed closely by her mother and father. Calypso nearly jumped into her arms, and Athena hugged her back so tightly she might have been suffocating her. Once she and her sister released each other, she flung her arms around her parents and hugged them just as tightly. Athena found it hard to look at any of them; it made her feel like her heart was bursting into pieces.

"How?" her father said weakly. "How could this happen? You only had another year, and then you would've been free."

Staring at her father, she realised she had to tell them the truth. Athena couldn't die without them knowing.

There was no good way of saying it, so she just blurted it out.

"I applied for tesserae."

A heavy silence accompanied those words. If she thought she couldn't look at them before, she really couldn't now, staring at the silk curtains at the window, blocking out the light.

"You - you what?" her mother said.

"I applied for tesserae," Athena said again, still not looking at them. "After that conversation we had a year ago... I know none of you wanted me to, but if I didn't do something we would've been even worse off than we were already. That's why I started picking up groceries more often, because it was a way to pick up food rations without it being obvious," there was still nothing, so Athena pressed on. "I might have still been Reaped even if I hadn't done it, I would've had six ballots in my name, anyway, but..."

She found there wasn't much for her to say at all, so she stopped talking. Calypso looked terrified, her eyes wide and shining with tears. Her mother was stunned, staring blankly at her like she couldn't even see her. Her father looked faint, leaning against the desk for support.

"Oh, Athena," her mother whispered. "Why? Why, why?"

"Because I had to," she said, a little exasperated in spite of herself. "And in spite of all of this, I don't regret it. Look, I'm not going to argue with you about this. I only told you because I figured you deserved to know. You two need to start taking more shifts while I'm gone," Athena said, looking between her parents. "As many as you can, then find more. Work at the docks if you must. I know neither of you like it very much, but the money's good if you know what you're doing. Hudson will take you in when she can, she'll show you what you need to do.

"Calypso," she turned to face her sister, "you stay in school, okay? Stay in the academy. Work hard, keep your head down. The food rations will be handed out just until the end of the Games. I need you to start picking them up. They're under the name 'Maris'. The mayor liked me, and she thinks you're cute, so she'll let you pick it up instead, and she might give you more, too - sometimes she did for me. Can you do that for me?"

Calypso nodded, still tearful. Relieved that she had said everything she wanted to say, Athena fell silent, heaving a sigh.

"Athena," her mother said, taking a step forward and pulling a narrow box out of her bag. "It's been tradition in my family for years to give this to the oldest daughter. I was supposed to give this to you when you turned eighteen, but I've taken it to every Reaping just... just in case."

Athena took the box hesitantly, opening it and finding a simple silver necklace - real solver, too, not the stuff some merchants tried to pass off as silver - with a blue spinel pendant. It was gorgeous - and, Athena couldn't help but think, probably could have kept them fed for weeks if they sold it - and she found she was more tempted to cry than ever at the sight of it.

"You're allowed a token, one thing to take with you into the arena," her mother continued. "I... I was hoping you'd make this your token."

Athena looked from the necklace to her mother. Then she took the necklace and put it on carefully, taking the pendant and bringing it to her lips briefly.

"Of course," she said, smiling bracingly. "Of course I will. Thank you, mom, I love it."

Her father took a few steps forward, holding he at shoulder length, staring at her determinedly. He suddenly looked stronger than he had when she had told them that she had applied for tesserae. "Athena, listen to me," he said sternly, speaking for the first time since her confession. "I know you're smart, and I know you're strong, but you need to be careful here. You need to push yourself more than you ever have. Listen to your mentors. They've been through it, they know what they're talking about. They're going to ask you to do things you don't agree with, things that make you sick to your stomach at the very thought. You need to do it anyway, do you understand?" he waited until she nodded before continuing. "They're telling you to do it because that's how you get sponsors, that's how you get stronger, that's how you win in the arena. But your mentors can't do everything for you. I know you've trained at the academy, but that's no reason for you to get too comfortable. The one thing that's always a Career Tribute's downfall is their arrogance, their belief that they can't be killed. Don't let that become your weakness. Train hard, be smart, be careful. That's how you get out of there alive. That's how you get back to us."

Athena nodded, straightening up and squaring her shoulders. "I will."

Just then, the door opened again, and they all whipped around to see Mayor Trenton at the door, looking apologetic.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but you only have just under five minutes," the mayor explained. "If you have yet to wrap things up, now would be the time."

Athena tried very hard to pretend that her heart didn't feel frozen with fear at the mayor's words. She just nodded, pressing her lips together tightly.

"Thank you, Mayor Trenton."

The mayor nodded once, before moving out of the room, closing the door behind her. Calypso tugged on her hand to get her attention, so Athena knelt down so that their faces were nearly level.

"Athena, you have to win," Calypso whispered. "You have to come back."

Athena didn't dare voice any of her fears, any of her concerns, her insecurities, her doubts. She also didn't dare bring up the encounter with Iris, trying not to think about it at all.

"Don't worry," she said reassuringly, tucking back loose strands of her sister's hair. "I can do this. All that time in the academy wasn't for nothing. I can fight. And I'm pretty smart, too, you know. I'll be fine."

She said it so fiercely she almost had herself convinced. Each of her parents pulled her into a tight hug, and there it was again, that feeling that she was too small for any of this. The door opened just as they pulled away from each other. The Peacekeepers stepped inside to usher her family out the door. They all knew it was no use asking for extra time. Her mother, her father, and Calypso all allowed themselves to be escorted out of the room, looking back at her over their shoulders, her sister looked petrified, her father looking like he was trying his hardest to stay strong, and her mother looking like they were in the arena already.

"Be smart! Look after yourself, take care of yourself, and please remember, we-" her mother called over her shoulder, but Athena would never know what she was supposed to remember, because they were pulled from the room, the door slamming shut behind them.

She was alone.

 

 

For better or for worse, it was a short ride from the Justice Building to the train station. The most exciting part about it was that they were riding in a car. Athena had been in cars once or twice before, on occasions much happier than the one today. She always preferred to travel on foot, though. It certainly made her feel more in control, less trapped than being in this cramped space with Alayne Stentor beside her, and Kai Emerson on Alayne's other side.

Athena was immediately grateful once more that she didn't cry when they reached the train station. The station is swarming with reporters with insect-like cameras trained on her and Kai's faces. Athena straightened her posture again, squaring her shoulders and holding her head high, glancing over furtively at the television screen on the wall to see how she looked. She was relieved to see that, although she couldn't manage a wide, bright smile and enthusiastic wave like Kai, with the way she was holding herself, the tiny, weak smile and wave that she could manage actually passed for an haughty, confident smirk. They were forced to stand for a few minutes at the doorway of the train to allow the cameras to take more pictures of them before they were allowed inside of the long, sleek silver tribute train, the doors closing mercifully behind them.

The train moved at once, and the speed took Athena's breath away at first. She'd never been on a train before, since she had never had anything that would merit her being on one. Travel between districts was strictly forbidden except for officially sanctioned duties. For District Four, if it wasn't related to the Games, then it had to do with exporting fish and seafood, along with any jewels that were found in the ocean. Nothing that had anything to do with Athena. She traded and sold her seafood within the district. Besides, they didn't use trains like this for importing and exporting goods. It was one of those high-speed Capitol models that went two hundred fifty miles per hour. They should be in the Capitol in a little over half a day, if that.

District Four was a rich district. Luxury wasn't a foreign thing to Athena, even if her family wasn't all that rich. Still the tribute train was by far the most fancies place she had ever been in. They each had their own chambers, with a bedroom, a dressing room, and a private bathroom with both hot and cold running water. The dressing room was full of fine clothes, and she thought if she sold half the clothes there in the markets, her family would rarely worry about money again. According to Alayne Stentor, Athena could do what she wanted, wear what she wanted, everything was at her disposal. She just needed to be ready for supper in an hour. The purple dress that had felt like a perfect fit a few hours ago now felt as though it was suffocating her, so she slipped out of it, throwing it on the bed that even  _looked_ more comfortable than her own at home, and showered in cold water in an attempt to clear her head. When she was finished, she dressed in the baggiest shirt and pants she could find that still fit her, untying the braids in her hair and letting it fall loose around her face.

With half an hour left before supper, Athena sat cross-legged on the bed, playing with the fabric of her dress, already wishing she were home. She was nervous; nervous to arrive in the Capitol, nervous for the week of training, nervous about the other tributes she would have to go up against, nervous about having to be interviewed by Caesar Flickerman, nervous about having to be evaluated, nervous to try and gain the love of sponsors, nervous about going into the arena, nervous about  _everything_. She was nervous about interacting with Kai, discovering what kind of tribute he was, if he was going to treat her like an ally or a foe. She was particularly nervous to meet her mentors, Mags Flanagan and Finnick Odair. Her father was right, she needed to listen to what her mentors said, but her mentors needed to give her good advice. It was mentors that helped tributes get sponsors, who helped them become lovable for the Capitol, who helped them get into the right mindset for the arena. Bad mentors worsened a tribute's chances of survival greatly.

Mags Flanagan won the eleventh Hunger Games at sixteen, making her one of the oldest victors still alive today, and among the limited number of people who had been alive before the rebellion and the Treaty of Treason. There were rumours about Mags; that she didn't speak anymore, either as a result of the horrors she had faced in the Games or as a result of a stroke she had had several years ago or both; that she was rarely in her right mind these days; that her advice wasn't worth much of anything anymore because of it. Regardless of the stories, Athena was particularly eager to hear from her, as Mags had seen more of the Games than anyone else on the train, she suspected. Mags had also been mentoring ever since her victory fifty-eight years ago, and in spite of the rumours that she wasn't of a sound mind and gave terrible advice as a result, had mentored nearly every victory that came from District Four. Anyone with that much experience with the Games on their shoulders was someone worth listening to, as far as Athena was concerned.

Then there was Finnick Odair, who was something of a legend in District Four - and all of Panem, frankly. Athena remembered watching his games at thirteen, mesmerised by him in spite of herself. Even at fourteen, he was as indecently good-looking and as confident as he was now, even in the arena, where by all logic he should not have looked attractive at all - not that his Games had lasted very long. Combine his good looks and charm with his intelligence and his skill in battle and it was not surprising that the Capitol adored him. As a result, he had had more sponsors than he ever really needed. The most memorable of the gifts, and the most expensive gifts ever given by a sponsor, was the trident he was now famed for using. He had woven a net using vines, using it to ensnare the other tributes, the trident used to deliver the final blow. It took about a week for the remaining tributes to realise he was the one to kill, but by then it was all too late. In a matter of days after that, the Games were over and he, the victor, one of the youngest ever and in record time.

Unsurprisingly, Finnick Odair became a god that was worshipped tirelessly at the academy. The reactions to him varied; some wanted him, some wanted to be him, some wanted both. Some were extremely jealous of him, but no one dared breathe a bad word about him. Even those that hated the Games and refused to fall for its illusions couldn't help but admire him a little. And now four years after he had won the Games, the Capitol still couldn't stop fawning over him. Athena really had to hand it to him; if he knew how to do anything, it was how to make the whole world fall in love with him.

Athena wasn't quite as eager to meet Finnick as she was to meet Mags, but she couldn't deny that she was curious about what she would find with him. And she didn't doubt that she would need his help, either. Gaining Capitol favour was a big part of winning the Games, because being liked meant getting sponsors, and sponsorships could be the difference between life and death in the arena. She knew being from a Career District would help her in this sense, but she's be stupid to rely only on that. Whatever Finnick was doing, it was making him loved in the Capitol, even as years went by since his Games. Athena suspected that a part of it was just his good looks. The Hunger Games weren't a beauty pageant, but there was no denying that the better looking the tribute, the more sponsors they ended up getting. One needed to look no further than Finnick's Games to see the advantages of being good-looking in the arena. There wasn't much Athena could do there; she wasn't ugly, but she had no idea if she'd be considered pretty by the Capitol's standards, or if she'd even stand out at all among her fellow tributes. She knew there were stylists at the Capitol to make her look more desirable, but there was only so much even they could do. Whatever else she could do to make the Capitol love her, she would need Finnick's help to get there.

Soon, Alayne came to escort her to supper. Athena followed her down the rocking, narrow corridor into a dining room with polished, panel walls. The table sit in the middle, laden with dishes that look highly breakable (Athena was tempted to break one of them, just to see if it did anything for her anxiety). Mags Flanagan sat calmly at the head of the table, her hands folded in front of her, smiling at them when they entered the room. Mags was beautiful in that muted, serene, odd sort of way that old women tended to be. Her long hair flowed in waves, some of it falling around her wrinkled, kind face. Except for the one that she was occupying, all of the seats were empty.

"Where are Finnick and Kai?" Alayne asked in her usual high, breathy voice, remaining standing while Athena sat to the left of Mags.

Athena didn't quite know what Mags said next, because it came out as a low mumble, difficult to distinguish. She didn't know if that was always how Mags spoke and that rumour was true, or if it was just on this one occasion, but regardless, she made a mental note to listen more closely the next time Mags spoke.

"What was that, Mags?" Alayne asked, her voice laced with impatience and exasperation that implied that that  _was_ always how Mags spoke and Alayne didn't much appreciate it.

Mags opened her mouth to speak again, but before she could say anything, there was the sound of approaching footsteps on the other side of the door, and she simply pointed at the door in response. A moment later, the door slid open to reveal Finnick Odair, followed closely by Kai.

"Well, there we are!" Alayne said, looking relieved.

Kai sat down beside Athena, shooting her a brief, nervous sort of smile that she returned as best as she could. Finnick Odair sat across from her, to Mags's right, which would make it very difficult for her to  _not_ look at him. Alayne sat next to Finnick, shooting him an admiring look that Athena found both strange and slightly uncomfortable, considering Alayne had to be at least fifteen years older than Finnick.

Supper came in courses. First a thick carrot soup, then green salad, lamb chops and mashed potatoes, cheese and fruit, and a chocolate cake. Throughout the meal, Alayne reminded them to pace themselves, as there was more to come. For the most part, Athena followed that advice. She was too anxious to really eat that much, and she didn't want to eat a lot and be unable to hold it down, anyway. Regardless, she still ate a little more than she probably should, because it had been so long since she had been able to eat as much as she wanted without worrying about whether her parents or her sister had had enough, or if they would need the leftovers for the next few days if they didn't have enough money to get more food, she couldn't quite help herself.

Throughout the meal, Alayne said things like, "You know, it's times like these that I'm so grateful that I have District Four and not District Ten or Twelve or anything like that. From what I heard, the people there truly have  _no_ manners."

Of course Alayne wasn't thinking that in Districts Ten and Twelve, there were countless people who spent their whole lives never having enough to eat, wasn't thinking that when they finally did for once in their lives, the last thing they would be thinking about was manners. The comments annoyed Athena so much that she was tempted to eat with her hands for the rest of the meal, but she decided against it in the end.

Athena kept expecting Mags or Finnick to say something to her and Kai about the Games; start giving them advice, ask them questions about their strengths and weaknesses, do  _something_. But when they talked, which happened rarely throughout the meal, it wasn't about the Games or even the Reaping at all. Athena exchanged looks with Kai, and was relieved to see that he looked just as uneasy about it as her and that she wasn't just paranoid. Neither of them said anything about it, though, figuring that their mentors knew what they were doing and would speak on it soon enough (a part of them were just too intimidated to say anything, though; no matter how confident you were, no matter how ready you thought you were for the Games, being in front of two victors was always an intimidating experience). Athena used the opportunity to examine her new mentors as furtively as she could - particularly, the one sitting across from her.

Admittedly, Athena had been hoping that Finnick would be less attractive up close. That wasn't care at all, though -  if anything, the opposite was true. Besides being tall, athletic, and chiseled, he was tan, with bronze hair and sea green eyes. Finnick Odair was frequently discussed in the academy for a variety of reasons; his looks was one of them. It seemed like everyone in the academy sighed and swooned over him, announcing through giggles all the things they'd do to him if they ever got the opportunity to be mentored by him.

 _Iris Dunne talked about him the most,_ Athena thought, remembering her encounter with her earlier that day ( _why did it already feel like centuries ago?_ ) and losing her appetite slightly.  _She couldn't shut up about him._

The very thought made her resent Finnick, irrational as it was.

When the dessert came, Finnick caught her looking at him. A smirk crossed his face, and he winked at her. Embarrassed and a little angry to be caught looking, especially since he must have thought she  _wanted_ him the way half the country seemed to, she looked down quickly at her plate, her face already heating up. She could feel him still looking at her, though, and she didn't have to be looking at him to know that he was still smirking.

When dessert was finished and there was still no mention of the Games, Athena and Kai exchanged nervous looks again, and the latter finally spoke up, albeit hesitantly. "So... are we going to talk about the Games now?"

Finnick raised his eyebrows. "Eager to get started, are we?"

"Well... the sooner we get started, the better, right?" Kai said slowly, looking from Finnick to Mags uncertainly.

Mags and Finnick exchanged looks.

"Slow, but not the slowest by far," Finnick pointed out. "Remember those tributes who waited until three hours after supper before they finally said something?"

Kai didn't quite seem to understand, but Athena thought she did. Angry, she looked between them and said, "You were waiting for us to say something this whole time?"

"Yes," Finnick said shamelessly, looking as though he found her anger amusing. "We like to get an idea on how eager our tributes are to survive, how brave they are. It's obvious you two  _want_ to survive, otherwise you wouldn't look so nervous. It's your bravery we're questioning now, since it took you so long to work up the nerve to say something.2

"We didn't say anything because we thought you would!" Athena protested, offended at the implication that she was a coward. "You're our mentors, we figured it was your  _job_ to take the lead here!"

"Was it that or were you just too busy staring?" Finnick said with a smirk, looking unfazed by her anger.

"I wasn't  _staring_!" Athena hissed, disliking him more and more by the second, her resentment admittedly based on Iris Dunne's affection for him. "It was a  _glance_ if anything-"

"A glance? Really?" Finnick repeated disbelievingly, with a full-on cocky grin now on his face. "Haven't heard of a glance that lasted a full minute straight-"

Something about the way Finnick looked, the way he carried himself made it hard to remember that he was only a year older than her.  Now, with the way he was acting, it was hard to forget. He acted the way the boys at the academy always did, arrogant and infuriating and obnoxious, seeming to thrive off angering everyone else.

"I didn't look at you for  _nearly_ that long-" she began.

"Okay, fine, point proven," Kai cut in impatiently. "You were waiting for us to speak up. Well, now we have, so can we get started?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Finnick said lightly, though he looked at Athena as he said it, smirking. "Follow us."

With that, he leapt to his feet. He walked over to Mags, helping her up, surprisingly gentle, his facial expression softening. Alayna got to her feet, too, looking slightly disgruntled that Finnick Odair wasn't helping  _her_ out of her chair. Athena couldn't tell if she disliked Alayna or Finnick more. When Athena and Kai got to their feet, Kai grabbed her arm, making her hang back until they were behind everyone else. Finnick shot them an interested look, but said nothing, leading the way out of the dining room.

"Hey, can I ask you a favour?" Kai whispered to her. "Can you stop yelling at our mentor?"

"Well, maybe if he started  _acting_ like our mentor and not some stupid boy - " Athena began.

"Well, maybe if you didn't stare at him like some girl with a crush - " Kai retorted.

"I didn't stare at him!" Athena said furiously, struggling to keep her voice down.

"Yes, you did, I saw you," Kai said firmly. "Look, all I'm saying is that I'd rather make this as simple as possible for everyone, since  _I'd_ at least like to win."

 _What, and I'm just so excited to die?_ Athena thought resentfully, but decided against saying anything else and adding fuel to the fire.  _The reason I'm so mad is because I want to survive and he's treating it like a joke._

Athena and Kai walked the rest of the way in silence. They were led to another compartment to watch a recap of the Reapings across Panem. The Reapings were staggered throughout the day so that theoretically, all of them could be watched live, but the only ones who could really do that were people in the Capitol, since they didn't have to attend the Reapings themselves.

One by one, they watched the Reaping for each district, the names called, the volunteers stepping forward (or the lack thereof, for the most part, in terms of districts outside of the Careers). Athena examined her competition (that was the only way to think about them, she couldn't think about them any other way) with rapt attention. From District One, there was Bastion Silver, a tall, muscular boy about a year older than Athena with dark brown hair and small eyes so dark they looked black; and Sapphire Satin, a thin, tall girl of about fourteen with short, wavy blonde hair and blue eyes to match her name. From District Two, there was Nolan Bedford, who was short and stocky with a buzzcut and watery, dull blue eyes, looking to be eighteen; and Lana Ryker, who was a year younger and slightly taller than her district partner but still short, curvy, with pin straight black hair and eyes the colour of storm clouds. In both Districts, the tributes had lunged at the opportunity to volunteer before anyone else could, triumph on their faces when they were first to step forward. There were no volunteers from District Three; the male tribute was called Lumen Flux, who was short and skinny and looked close to crying from fear when his name was called, his shaggy blond hair falling in his green eyes, probably no older than thirteen; the female tribute was called Dayta Fuse and looked two or three years older and stronger than her district partner, but she also shook so hard as she walked on the stage that it was easy to forget that, her long, dark hair plaited behind her back and her dark brown eyes shining with tears.

Then they played the footage from District Four. Athena looked even more scared than she had originally thought she did. Iris really hadn't been lying when she said it was obvious that Athena didn't want to compete in the Games. Even the commentators commented on the fear in her face, but they also called her brief pause to comfort Calypse a "heartwarming moment," so maybe she wasn't a lost cause. Kai was the picture of grace after Athena's reaction to her name being called, and Athena was finding it harder and harder to ignore that Kai was already much more likely to survive the Games than her. The commentators pointed out how strange it was that District Four got no volunteers this year, but played it off with a jab at Athena ("With tributes that fearless, there's no need to volunteer!") that somehow managed to make her feel even more miserable.

Then there was District Five; the male tribute, Atom Heller, was lanky, with skin like bronze and chocolate brown eyes, looking to be her age; the female tribute, Nine Brites, barely looked thirteen and was deathly pale, with her black hair contrasting against her pale skin, her blue eyes standing out all the more vividly. From District Six, the male tribute, Kirk Martin, looking to be about eighteen, was solemn-faced, though Athena couldn't tell if it was out of fear or if that was just his face; Cara Savera, the female tribute, was about thirteen or fourteen, with long blonde hair that was tied back into a ponytail and hazel eyes that were glued to the floor from the moment her name was called. From District Seven, there was a boy Athena's age called Rowan Lindell, with jet black hair and wide, monolid eyes, who volunteered for someone who appeared to be his brother; Amber Cedara, the female tribute, looked a year older than Athena, with short black hair, smudged eyeliner, and a scowl, as though the Games were an inconvenience more than anything else. From District Eight, there was the lean, brooding male tribute, Burton Angora, who looked a year younger than Athena; the female tribute, Paige Yarnn, volunteered for a girl who appeared to be her best friend, the two embracing tearfully, before she joined her district partner on stage. The tributes from District Nine pierced Athena's heart' named Harvey and Gwenith Miller, they were brother and sister, perhaps a year apart, and nearly identical, wearing the same expression of fear, with tears springing in their similar dark green eyes. In District Ten, there was another volunteer; the muscled, tan male tribute of about eighteen, Angus Keld, volunteered for a sickly looking twelve year-old, an expression on his face that made it seem as though he had already resigned himself to death; the female tribute, Circe Orford, was about twelve or thirteen and was either extremely arrogant or trying so hard to hide her fear she was overcompensating, smiling so widely Athena could see one of her missing teeth, though the smile didn't quite reach her green eyes. The Reapings for District Eleven and Twelve were especially hard to watch. From Eleven, the tributes, Cane Thorn and Willow Till were both Athena's age and reasonably muscular, but they both looked like they had seen ghosts when they were on stage, staring blankly ahead of them. From Twelve, there was Will Pinegrove, a boy with shiny, golden hair and greyish blue eyes, his lips pressed in a tight line to keep them from trembling; and Marjorie Hopper, a girl with brown skin and eyes, her dark hair braided tightly, calling out to her mother and father desperately, fruitlessly.

"Hopper," Kai said thoughtfully. "Where have I heard that name?"

"Charity Hopper," Alayne replied. "She was Reaped two or three years ago. She made it quite far, too, considering where she came from. You almost started to have hope for District Twelve again, until she was killed. It was quite terrible to watch - beheadings are always the most brutal."

Athena would've been angry with the lack of sympathy in Alayne's voice, but she was too busy feeling horrified as she stared at Charity Hopper's sister. As horrible as it was, there was little to no chance that Marjorie Hopper would make it out of the Games alive. Her family was losing two of their children to the Games. She knew from knowing Hudson that just losing one was awful enough, she couldn't imagine the grief that would come from losing two, especially in such a short period of time.

"So," Athena pressed on, trying to ignore the horror clawing up her throat, "we know our competition. What now?"

Both Finnick and Mags got to their feet, moving to stand in front of Athena and Kai, who were still sitting.

"Who do you think your biggest threat is?" Finnick asked promptly.

Athena and Kai exchanged looks, surprised and slightly alarmed to be question so quickly.

"Well, the Careers are obviously going to be the toughest to beat," Kai replied.

"That doesn't make them your biggest threat," Finnick said. "Who do you need to worry about from the moment you go into the arena?"

Kai was at a loss, and Athena couldn't blame him. All they were ever taught in the academy was that the tributes from Districts One, Two, and Four were the smartest, quickest, most skilled tributes in the arena. If they weren't the biggest threat, then who was?

Athena decided to give it a shot. "The tributes from Seven looked pretty strong, and the male tribute must know what he's doing to volunteer, even if it was for his brother. The tributes from Nine don't look like much, but the fact that they're related gives them motive to fight harder than anyone else. If they can't get out alive themselves, they'll at least want their family to. The District Eleven tributes looked strong, if they're just as clever and don't let their fear get to them, they could be a real threat in the arena."

"All smart, and all true, but still wrong," Finnick said, shaking his head. "The academy's as useless as I remember. Your biggest threat is all of them. Even the young ones, even the weak ones, even the ones that were crying. You can get a vague idea of what a person can do from the Reaping, but it can be completely wrong sometimes. They could be crying to get you to think that they're weak, only to turn out to be the best, most vicious fighter in the arena. And the things a person can do when they're scared and desperate and their back is against the wall would surprise you. Right now, each of those tributes are as dangerous as the other. You don't trust  _any_ of them."

"Then how do alliances work?" Kai asked, frowning. "If you can't trust absolutely  _any_ of them?"

"Alliances aren't about trust," Finnick said simply. "They're about skill, about what you can offer. You make an alliance with people with valuable skills, with skills you need. But alliances are later, when you get a better idea of what other people can do."

Mags murmured something to Finnick, occasionally making signals with her hand Athena didn't recognise. He nodded once in agreement, then pointed at Kai.

"You - stand up."

Kai hastened to obey, getting to his feet and standing before Mags and Finnick. The mentors studied him closely, Mags murmuring things to Finnick so quietly that she couldn't catch it.

"You're good looking enough already," Finnick said thoughtfully. "Once the stylists make you up, the Capitol should love you."

Kai really was rather handsome, too. He was a year younger than her but stood taller, with perpetually windswept black hair and brown eyes that shone and sparkled when he smiled. His skin was an even golden brown, with freckles all along his nose. People tended to giggle and whisper about him when he walked by, too.

"A little too serious, from the looks of it, but we have time before we have to work on personality. You look pretty strong, and the academy must have done you some good... what were you best at?"

"Throwing knives and using a boy and arrow," Kai replied. "I'm pretty good at hand to hand."

"What were your weaknesses," Kai admitted. "And most melee weapons - swords and spears and tridents and all of that."

Mags murmured something else to Finnick at this point, frowning slightly, and Finnick nodded in agreement. "Survival skills can make all the difference in the arena, you know that, right? Tons of tributes die from natural causes."

When they were finished questioning Kai and he sat down again, Finnick pointed at Athena and crooked a finger, indicating for her to get up. She stood up, standing a few feet in front of Mags and Finnick, crossing her arms to help with the feeling of being exposed. There was something very deliberate about the way Finnick was looking at her; he looked her up and down very slowly, repeating the action twice over to be fully thorough about it.

"You are very pretty," he said thoughtfully. "The Capitol won't appreciate it if you hide under clothes that big, though."

"I'm not  _hiding_ \- " she began irritably, but she remembered Kai's words earlier, remembered her father's advice to listen to her mentors, and stopped herself. "I'll be sure to change up my wardrobe choices."

"Thank you," Finnick said smugly, smirking. "What were you best at?"

"I'm good with a spear and a shield," she replies. "I'm fast. I'm good at hand to hand combat."

"What about weaknesses?"

"I'm only really good with a spear and a trident; I'm not too special at anything else," she admitted. "I'm not bad with a knife, but I'm not very good either. And I hesitate. I avoid doing damage when I can."

" _All you do is run away! You don't even try to fight back!_ " Iris' voice rang clear in her mind. She pushed it back as best as she could.

"There's no avoiding doing damage in the Games," he pointed out. "If you're not willing to fight back, you're as good as dead."

"I realise that," she said, trying to keep her voice neutral. "I'll be more vicious and bloodthirsty in the future."

Finnick raises his eyebrows, before approaching her slowly, saying, "Now you could be interesting... you looked scared to death during your Reaping and everyone saw it. They're going to look at you like you're an easy target, but you're not, are you? That anger, that  _passion_ has to be good for something. What are you hiding under those clothes, under that pretty face, Athena Maris?"

There was the Finnick Odair everyone loved so much. He moved closer until he was standing right in front of her ( _He even smelled nice_ , she thought, slightly irritated about it) and she had to look straight up at him. He spoke in a low, seductive purr, and didn't seem remotely fazed that there were three other people in the room.

"More than you'd expect," she replied, aiming for boldness.

Finnick smiled like he knew something she didn't. "I certainly hope so."

Alayne cleared her throat, another falsely sweet smile on her face. "It's been a long day. How about we all head off to bed? We need to be up early for our arrival at the Capitol! It would be no good to be tired on such an important day!"

Finnick grinned, backing away slowly, and Athena let out a breath, somewhere between confused and disappointed and relieved. Kai and Alayne both got to their feet, and the latter led the way out of the compartment. Mags gave her a smile, Finnick gave her a wink, and Athena ambled forward quietly, starting to realise that listening to her mentors would be a much more complicated thing than she thought.


	3. III

**III**

 

She had thought that sleep would be a task that would be impossible to accomplish, but Athena managed to fall asleep surprisingly quickly. She woke up before too long, though, bolting upright with a gasp. Her dreams had shifted from a replay of her Reaping to a nightmare of Kai stabbing her through the chest with a spear, while Mags and Finnick looked on critically and Alayne said distastefully, " _Always so brutal_." She tried to go back to sleep afterwards, but all she could do was toss and turn helplessly, and staying under the covers felt like being trapped, so eventually she flung them back, sitting up and staring at her hands blankly.

Eventually, she just got up and stepped into the bathroom, getting in the shower and staying there until the hot water ran cold, feeling oddly liberated by the fact that she could be as wasteful as she wanted for once. Athena was particularly careful about how she dressed then. Finnick's comment about hiding under her clothes could have easily just been him being obnoxious, but they were arriving in the Capitol today, and she didn't want to risk it in case they were seen by citizens. The sooner she made a good impression, the better. Finally, she chose dark pants, tighter than the ones she had worn yesterday, a bright, red silk shirt that showed her midriff whenever she moved her arms too much, and light, comfortable shoes, deciding to keep her hair loose.

There were still a few hours before they were supposed to be up for breakfast. Not wanting to stay in her chambers for any longer, Athena stepped outside, wandering around aimlessly until she found herself back in the compartment where they had seen the recap of the Reapings. Athena sat down on the leather sofa and grabbed the silver remote, turning on the television. She flipped through the settings until she found an option to watch a recording of any of the Games from the past sixty-eight years. She stared at her options thoughtfully, before selecting the option labelled:  _SIXTY-FIFTH ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES._

From there, there was an option to watch different parts of the Games. The very beginning and the bloodbath at the Cornucopia, memorable fights and tricks from the gamemakers, the death of each tribute, and the moment when Finnick won the Games and became victor. There was also the option to watch the Reaping from each district that year, as well as the opening ceremonies and the tributes' interviews with Caesar Flickerman. Athena didn't need to watch the actual Games themselves; Finnick's time in the arena was hard to forget. And it was pointless to watch his Reaping now when there was nothing she could do to change her behavior during her own Reaping. Instead, she watched the opening ceremonies, then the interviews, watching the tributes at the time carefully.

She learned a lot about what to do and what not to do from watching the other tributes. She learned that there was no such thing as smiling and waving too much; even when some tributes' smiles were so fake that they were almost painful to watch, the Capitol still fawned over them and how  _pretty_ they looked when they were smiling. She learned not to stutter, but to fill gaps and uncertainties with giggles, even if there was nothing funny about the situation. She learned it was just as important to make the Capitol feel sympathy for you as it was to make them love you; there were tributes who talked tearfully about the family and friends and partners they left behind in their district, and among the heartbroken reactions of the Capitol citizens, Athena could see the sponsorships being sealed. Mostly, though, Athena just watched Finnick. It was easy to see that they loved him, and it was easy to see why. He knew when to speak, when his words would make the biggest impact; he knew when  _not_ to speak, when to draw out pauses and make everyone desperate for his next words; he knew what to say, what would make the Capitol react in the right way; he knew how to say them, how to maximise the effect; he knew when to smile and laugh and when to be serious; he knew when to be the humble boy from District Four and when to be be the strong warrior determined to win the Games; he could do no wrong. In the eyes of the Capitol, Finnick Odair was perfect. Athena herself might have fallen in love with him if she was as clueless as them and didn't know it was all a lie.

 _I'm going to need him a lot more than I originally thought,_ Athena thought, slightly reluctant to admit it, even to herself.

When she was finished watching the interviews, Athena went back to the list of each year of the Games, before clicking on the option with the label:  _ELEVENTH ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES_. It was a little strange to see a younger version of Mags, though there weren't all that many difference. Sixteen-year-old Mags' face was rounder, smoother, softer, free of wrinkles or any sort of blemishes at all (though that might have been her stylists at work); her hair was fuller and healthier and red, instead of grey and beginning to wilt; she moved quicker, she stood straighter, she had more energy to her; and when she spoke, instead of it being a low, indistinguishable murmur, it was crisp and clear and a light, feminine voice. Still, there wasn't much difference in the way Mags carried herself then and now, with grace and dignity and pose; Mags still had the same sort of spirit to her as she did fifty-eight years ago; and there was still that unmistakable quality that drew people to her, made them love her, made them want to trust her, even if they barely knew her.

Seeing Mags in the opening ceremonies and in her interview (with another interviewer called Albus Caligula, just as colorful and outgoing as Caesar was) was a little discouraging. Which wasn't to say that Mags was unlikeable or made any mistakes in how she behaved and carried herself; if anything, it was the opposite. Finnick was charming and funny and witty and seductive, but it was comforting to watch his interview because Athena knew it was an act. It was a role he played, which meant she could learn it and practice it and become just as good at it as he was. Mags' likeability wasn't fake. It was as real as you could get in the Games. She really was that kind, that compassionate, that spirited, that charming, she genuinely had that quality that made people want to love her, want to keep her alive. That sort of quality couldn't be taught, couldn't be faked. There was not much Athena could do there.

Athena watched Mags' Games, too. The arena was nothing overly complex that year; it was a rocky plain that stretched miles all around with a perpetually overcast sky, with little ways to find food and water and absolutely no way to find shelter. Several times, Mags and other tributes resorted to eating bugs for food. Mags was strong and skilled more than able to hold her own in a fight, but in the end, the thing that carried her through to the end was that she moved quickly and quietly. The others were too slow to stand a chance against her, and even if they weren't, she moved too silently for them to even hear her coming. By the time they were aware of her presence, it was already too late. At the very end, Mags won against the other tribute still standing, a boy from District One who was twice her size, by sneaking up behind him and running his through with her trident, stabbing him again and again, only stopping when the cannon went off, signalling the boy's death. Then, Mags dropped her trident, fell to her knees, and put her face in her hands. Her body shook, but since she was covering her face, and due to the commentators louder announcing her victory and the roar of an audience somewhere in the Capitol watching the event live, Athena couldn't hear her, making it unclear whether she was shaking from laughter or tears.

It was hard to watch any of this; the opening ceremonies, the interviews, the Games. It took everything she had while she watched to not turn the television off, to not have a breakdown at the thought that this would soon be her, to not think about how slim her chances or survival were. But this, watching Mags shake on her knees as she was declared Victor, the commentators congratulating her and the Capitol screaming in celebration, made her head spin and made her feel like she was going to throw everything up until there was nothing left inside of her.

 _They're cheering,_ she thought, horror clawing up her throat and leaving it raw.  _That boy is still bleeding out beside Mags, and they're cheering about it. God, our deaths aren't even our own. Our lives are the Capitol's to be turned into a spectacle at any moment, and our deaths are no different._

"Enjoying yourself?"

Athena let out a yelp, leaping to her feet and turning towards the source of the noise, clutching the remote tightly in her hand. It was only Finnick Odair, though, smirking at her reaction.

"How long have you been standing there?" she demanded, crossing her arms.

"Relax, I only just got here," he said. "If anything, you should take this as a lesson to pay more attention to your surroundings. It'll help you in the arena."

Athena had a half mind to tell Finnick Odair where he could shove his supposed  _lessons_ , but stopped herself. She knew she needed his help, she knew Kai was right and she ought not spend so much time bickering with him, but he was so  _infuriating,_ it was hard to help herself. In the end, she didn't say anything at all.

"What were you going to do with that?" he asked, nodding at the remote, still clutched tightly in her hand. "Aggressively click buttons at me?"

"I was thinking about throwing it at your head," Athena replied, scowling. "You know, ruin the pretty little face. I was going to aim for your eye and mess up your vision while I was at it."

Finnick seemed amused if anything by her words, smiling wider. "You're true to your word. You really did become more vicious and bloodthirsty. I'm glad to know you think I'm pretty, though."

"I was quoting your admirers from the Capitol," she retorted, "not expressing my own personal beliefs."

"You watched my footage, too?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Just the opening ceremonies and the interviews," Athena said. "I remember most of your Games. I wanted a better idea of who my mentors are, see what I could learn from watching them in action."

She was expecting a smart remark. She didn't get one. Finnick actually seemed impressed.

"That's smart," he said, moving to sit down on the sofa. After a moment of hesitation, she did, too, but at a safe distance from him. She didn't thank him, waiting for some catch to his praise to come along, but it never did.

On the screen, the hovercraft appeared to collect Mags, a ladder dropping down for her to grab onto. She climbed onto it and was pulled up, and Athena, unable to stand hearing the commentators' raving and the Capitol's cheering for much longer, pressed the power button on the remote and turned off the television. Silence fell upon the room, and Athena was starting to think of excuses to leave, when Finnish spoke.

"You said you watched to learn," he said. "So what did you learn?"

Athene hesitated, thinking the question over carefully, before responding. "Alliances should usually be short-term. If you're with someone from the beginning to end, by the end of it they know your weaknesses and it makes you more vulnerable. Sometimes, your biggest strength is looking weak, pretending you can't go on to bide your time, so that when you strike, it hits twice as hard. Smile a lot. Smile and laugh and wave. Do that if you're out of things to do. Be vapid, be shallow. Giggle even when Caesar isn't being funny. Be charming. Be funny. Be lovable. I have no idea how to do that, but I know it's what I need to do," she admitted.

"So you've been taking notes," he said approvingly. "Don't worry too much about what to do in the arena. There'll be time to strategize. You're right to be thinking about how to make the Capitol love you."

"Mags was like that naturally," she said, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them tightly. "Maybe she's just a really good actor, but it looked like she didn't have a fake anything at all."

"That's just Mags," he agreed.

"I don't think I'll be able to get the Capitol to like me just by being myself," she admitted, seeing no point in hiding it or beating around the bush.

"Really?" he said, raising his eyebrows. "You seem reasonably well-liked. You got a higher amount of people to say goodbye than usual."

"Five people is a lot?" Athena raised her eyebrows. "Especially when three of them were my family?"

"You'd be surprised," was all he said, not elaborating on what there was to be surprised about.

"Anyway, that's District Four, not the Capitol," she shook her head. "And not everyone who went to tell me goodbye would give me glowing reviews."

She didn't want to, but she was thinking about Iris Dunne again. Finnick looked interested at that, raising his eyebrows.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning there was one girl who pretty much went to see me to let me know that she deserved to be tribute more than I did and that there was no way I was getting out of the arena alive," she said flatly.

"And do you agree?" he asked. "Do you think there's no way of you getting out of the arena alive?"

Athena shrugged. "I'm not weak and I'm not stupid. And I'm more prepared than a lot of the other tributes. And if it counts for anything, I've killed things before, even if they weren't human and lived in the sea. But I have no idea what I'm up against. And I was never the best in the academy, and that's just my district, forget all of Panem. I like to think I have a chance, I just don't know if it's very big."

Something about saying all of this aloud was helpful to her. It cleared her head. And Finnick, to his credit, listened well.

"I'm glad you're honest," he said simply. "It makes it easier for me and Mags to figure out where to go from here. But let's make this clear," he moved closer to her, looking directly into her eyes. She stayed exactly where she was, staring back up at him boldly, "we're only interested in mentoring fighters. If that's not what you are, then don't waste our time."

 _I left behind my nine year-old sister, my sick father, and my exhausted mother,_ she thought.  _Even if I wasn't a fighter, I'd become one for them_.

Athena didn't quite want to share that with Finnick Odair, though; it felt too personal. Instead, she just said, "Don't worry. I'll be worth your while."

Something about his smile then told her that she had said exactly the right thing. Then, he glanced at the clock and jumped to his feet.

"We should go. Breakfast will probably be ready. We'll be in the Capitol in just under an hour."

Athena looked around at the clock, surprised to see that hours had gone by since she had woken up. It hadn't felt like she had been in here for very long.

"Time flies this time of year," Finnick said in a low voice, apparently noticing her surprise.

"Right," she murmured, getting to her feet. "I'll try to remember that."

"You really are taking notes," Finnick said, looking her up and down, none too subtly. "You even followed my advice about your clothes."

"I didn't do it for  _you_ ," she said immediately, because it felt particularly important to her that she made that clear. "If the Capitol wants me to look pretty, then that's what I'll do."

"Right," Finnick said, raising his eyebrows. "Well, follow me to the dining room - or pretend you didn't hear that and just  _happen_ to walk behind me in the same direction, if it's so important to you that you don't openly do what I tell you to do."

"Very funny," she said, allowing him to lead the way out of the room. "You know, I do understand your importance as my mentor."

"You have a funny way of showing it," he said over his shoulder.

"Why, because you're so used to people kissing the ground you walk on?" she retorted, as they walked down the rocking, narrow corridor.

"Well, yes," he admitted shamelessly. "But also because you go from admitting you need my advice, to getting annoyed when I give it to you, to denying that I had anything to do with it when you realize it's good advice and decide to follow it. It's a little tiring to keep up with, and it's only been a day."

"Well, maybe if you  _acted_ like a mentor and less like some  _guy_ from the academy - "

Finnick stopped walked, turning around abruptly, so that Athena walked right into him. She stumbled back slightly before she regained her balance, but she was still standing as close to him as she had been yesterday. It made it more apparent how much taller he was than her, towering over her.

"My methods might be unconventional to you, Maris," he said in the same low voice as before, "but they work. And you and I both know that I'm much more than anyone in the academy right now."

"The first statement carries weight because you've mentored two victors in three years," Athena replied, crossing her arms, "but the second statement is easily debatable."

He smiled, unaffected by this. "We'll see about that. Still, I've never met someone who appreciates having me around as little as you do. And you get me free of charge."

"Lucky me," she said sarcastically. "I have no idea how people could possibly pay for something as priceless as the pleasure of your company."

"Luckily for them, I haven't dealt with anything as mundane as money in ages."

"So what do you deal in?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

He leaned towards her, lowering his voice further. "In secrets. And not just any secrets, valuable ones. The things I could tell you about some of the people I've met..." he grinned devilishly at her, before continuing. "Well, it's best I keep them to myself. Tell me, Maris," somehow, he managed to take another step closer to her, "do you have any secrets worth my time?"

"I'm an open book," Athena said flatly, determined to appear unaffected by his actions. "Besides, I thought you said I was blessed enough to enjoy your presence for free."

That devious, almost sinful smile widened slightly at that. "Fair enough."

With that, he turned and continued. Athena paused, before letting out a tiny sigh and following him the rest of the way. When they got to the dining room, Kai, Mags, and Alayne were already all seated.

"Oh, lovely!" Alayne said in her usual high-pitched, breathy voice, apparently unaffected by the early hour. "We were just about to send for you two!"

"Sorry we're late," Finnick said, as he and Athena sat in the only two seats left across from Alayne and Kai. "I was helping Athena do some... research."

Athena wasn't quite sure Finnick had helped her all that much in terms of research, but she kept that to herself. Kai frowned and Mags looked curious, but neither said anything about it.

"Isn't that lovely? Always good when a tribute is eager to learn," Alayne said, smiling.

There was definitely a sarcastic comment waiting to happen with those words (as there was with most of what Alayne said, Athena noted), but Athena was distracted by the enormous platter of food they were served. Eggs, ham, piles of fried potatoes, along with a tureen of fruit sitting in ice to keep it chilled, a basket of rolls, an elegant glass of orange juice, coffee, and a rich, brown cup of what she recognized rather excitedly as hot chocolate. Hot chocolate - really, chocolate in general - was another rarity; even the richest of the districts couldn't always access it, which meant it tended to be a rare, precious gift to Athena. She was pleased to find that it tasted as good as she remembered.

Mags and Finnick, a complete contrast to how they were yesterday, were already in full swing, talking about their arrival in the Capitol. This was much more reassuring. It made her feel like something was being accomplished.

"Now, we'll be at the Capitol soon," Finnick said. "There's going to be a lot of people out, and some cameras too. They'll want to catch a glimpse of you to get more people excited for the opening ceremonies. That means you'll have to be all charm and smiles the moment we reach the Capitol. You need to be cool, you need to be confident, you need to act like you were born for this and you know it. No looking scared to death."

He gave Athena a pointed look at that. Athena decided against saying anything to that. It was valid advice, even if obviously delivered to embarrass her. She glanced outside the window. The sky was dark blue, with an orangey pink beginning to melt into it. The sun was barely starting to rise. How many people could really be out this early, waiting for their arrival?

Mags spoke then. Athena was getting a little better at being able to make out what she was saying, hearing, "Stylist... trust... don't resist." She wasn't sure what was said in between, but she got the gist. Mags also used those hand signals, which Finnick seemed to understand find, but she still was struggling to understand.

"Good point," Finnick nodded once, before looking back at Athena and Kai. "Once you're in the Capitol, you'll be at the mercy of your stylists. They're not all that creative with their costumes, they never really break the mold, but the Capitol eats it up every year, so why fix what isn't broken? You might not like some of the things they do to you, but just go with it. Don't resist, don't argue, just let them do what they want to do."

"When you say that we might not like some of the things they do," Kai began, "exactly what  _things_ are you referring to?"

"It doesn't matter," Finnick said firmly, "because you're going to let them happen."

"But - "Athena began.

"No buts. Don't resist. Don't argue. The last thing I want to hear is that you threw a remote at your stylist's head and ruined their vision."

She didn't want to admit it, but she had to bite back a laugh at that.

The sun was rising more steadily as the train entered yet another tunnel, so that it was so dark it might have been night again. Athena realized after a moment that they must be in a tunnel that ran through the mountain into the Capitol. The mountain formed a natural barrier between the Capitol and the eastern Districts, making it nearly impossible to enter from the east except through the tunnels. This played a big role in the Capitol's victory in the rebellion that led to her being on this train at all. The rebels had to scale the mountains, leaving them vulnerable to the Capitol's air forces.

Finnick and Mags kept talking, Athena, Kai, and Alayne all listening in silence. The tunnel went on and on and on, and Athena couldn't help but think of all the rock that separated her from the sky. She wondered how long it would take her to die if it collapsed on them, if it was better than the fate she may suffer in the arena, and then shook both questions off as best as she could. None of them would help her. She needed to listen to Mags and Finnick. That would help her more than anything.

When they left the tunnel at last and Athena could breathe a little easier, the sun was almost fully up, natural light flooding the compartment once more. Neither Athena nor Kai could resist it; they both raced forward to see the place they'd only seen in photographs and on television, the ruling city of Panem. The cameras hadn't lied about its grandeur. If anything, the cameras did not properly capture the magnificence of the tall buildings, towering into the air in a rainbow of hues; or the shiny cars that rolled past, apparently far from a rarity here; or the odd people, with their strange, uncomfortable clothes and bizarre hair and painted faces who have never had to worry about putting food on the table or providing any other necessities. It was obvious that Alayne Stentor came from this place. The colours of the city were as artificial as the ones she wore, the pinks too deep, the greens too bright, the yellows blinding. They were sort of like those hard candies she'd find sometimes, sort of appealing if she didn't look right at them for very long.

Finnick, as it turned out, hadn't been lying about people from the Capitol waiting to see them. In spite of the early house, there were people gathered all around on either side of the train tracks, pointing eagerly at the tribute train rolling into view. It sickened Athena, knowing they were so excited to watch them kill or be killed. Still, Finnick's words were ringing clear in her mind, and she knew it was best not to make that feeling obvious. Instead, she glanced over at Kai hesitantly, before they both raised a hand tentatively, as though testing the waters, and began waving slowly at the people outside.

They had done the right thing. The gawking crowd went wild, apparently loving that they were being openly acknowledged by the tributes. Athena and Kai started waving more enthusiastically, now smiling and even winking at the crowd.

"Easily excitable, aren't they?" Kai muttered under his breath, still grinning widely. "Some of them had better be rich."

Athena let out a laugh at that, Kai soon following suit. This only excited the crowd more, nearly jumping up and down from excitement, none of them understanding that they were laughing at them. Athena and Kai only stopped waving and smiling when they pulled into the train station, blocking them from the people's view. Then they turned to look at each other.

"Not bad," he said, with a more genuine grin than the one he gave the Capitol citizens, raising a hand slowly. "We'll be getting sponsors in no time."

Athena hesitated for a moment. She had no idea what Kai's motives, his intentions, his strategies were. Most of the time, tributes from the same district formed an alliance, but this wasn't always the case. Sometimes tributes killed their district partner first, either out of fear that they might get attached and start associating them with home, or to surprise viewers and make sponsors more invested in them. She had no idea if that was what Kai intended to do or if he was just genuinely being friendly or if he was tricking her into trusting him so that it would be easier to kill her in the arena.

Then again, she might have just been over thinking a simple kind gesture. She would have a week to figure out whether Kai Emerson was a friend or a foe, if his kindness was a trick or not. For now, all she needed to worry about was smiling and looking pretty.

So Athena obliged him, raising a hand in a high-five.

 

*

 

Athena was lying on her back on an uncomfortable metal table, staring up blankly at the ceiling, avoiding looking at the bright fluorescent lighting above. The room she was in was rather plain, with white walls and floor and nothing but the table on which she was lying and a door. She was wearing a thin, silk robe, tied tightly around her waist. She was sore and aching and tingling unpleasantly - and the most ridiculous part of it was that she wasn't even in training yet.

Her prep team, Ajax, Leto, and Hestia had spent the better part of three hours addressing some of Athena's more obvious problems - at least, that was what  _they_ called it. Addressing these problems included scrubbing her body with a gritty loam that ended up removing not only any lingering dirt, but at least two or three layers of skin, turning her nails into uniform shapes (she used to have a bad habit of biting her nails that she had only just managed to kick, leaving her nails before in a rather pitiful state, she would admit), and most of all, it seemed, ridding her body of any hair. Athena did shave sometimes, and her body was relatively hairless, but somewhere along the way in the past year, it had stopped being a priority. That wouldn't do at all in the Capitol, it seemed; any part of her body besides her head had been waxed until it was bare, and even her eyebrows were plucked until deemed satisfying.

"You're doing very well," Ajax, a stocky man with bright green hair and skin painted a faint orange, would assure her periodically. As much as Athena hated it, she followed Finnick's advice to the letter; she hadn't resisted or argued or thrown a remote at anyone's head. "You don't know how annoying it is to get those tributes that just whine and whine and whine. They don't even realize it's for their own good!"

"Yeah," Athena would reply. "How very inconvenient that must be for you."

The three stylists would all look down at her, smiling, apparently so pleased that she was so sympathetic towards their woes.

"And don't think all this means you aren't gorgeous by yourself!" Leto, a bright blue-haired man so tall she wondered if he had to duck to walk through doors sometimes, would add mater-of-factly.

"Yeah, you really are so pretty," Hestia, a slightly plump woman whose entire skin was dyed periwinkle blue, would chime in. "We're just doing what we can to enhance that so everyone can see!"

Athena wanted to hate her prep team. It was hard, though. As insensitive and thoughtless and plain idiotic they could be at times, they really did think they were helping her, and they did seem to really want to be doing it. It was hard to hate people who were showing genuine kindness, even if the way they showed it wasn't very agreeable.

Once her prep team had finally deemed her satisfactory, they all left the room to bring her stylist, apparently called Tatiana, to her. Athena thought it was a little strange that three hours had gone in the Remake Center without so much as getting a glimpse of her stylist, but Mags, Finnick, and Alayne had all assured her and Kai repeatedly that their stylists knew what they were doing. She supposed Tatiana didn't want to see her until all of her  _problems_ had been addressed.

Athena was starting to wonder how Kai was making out when she heard the door open. She sat up immediately, swinging her legs over the side of the table, examining the woman who walked inside. She was tall, with surprisingly small, dainty hands for her size. Her skin wasn't painted any colour, instead a natural tawny colour. The only alteration she made to her body were that her long hair was dyed bright pink, and her eyes were the same colour, as was her eye makeup and lipstick. Her outfit was almost plain-looking in comparison to the things she'd seen other Capitol citizens wear; a light blue dress, which would have been quite nice if not for the excess amount of ruffles and sequins attached.

"Oh, it's lovely to finally see you in person, just as beautiful as you were on television!" said the woman, and Athena wondered if there was anyone in the Capitol who didn't speak that way, in such a high pitch, always going up at the end as though asking a question, odd vowels and clipped words and a hiss at the letter 's,' their jaws barely moving as they spoke. "I'm Tatiana, I'm your stylist."

Athena almost said her own name, then realized Tatiana already knew who she was.

"Nice to meet you," Athena said instead.

"Stand up," Tatiana said. "Take that off, let me get a good look at you."

Athena stood, untying the robe and tossing it on the table behind her without hesitation. She probably should have been more self-conscious, but in the space of three hours, her prep team had seen her naked more times and for longer than anyone else except for perhaps her parents when she was a baby. Something about these brightly coloured people seeing her naked didn't bother her all that much, anyway. Maybe because they barely felt like real people to her, so that it felt as if some brightly coloured fish were seeing her naked while she swam in the ocean.

"Come on, step forward," Tatiana said, beckoning for her to come closer. "Don't be shy."

Athena took a few steps forward until she was standing in the middle of the room. Tatiana started walking around her in a wide circle, looking at her critically.

"So - uh - how long have you been doing this for, again?" Athena asked, mostly to fill the silence.

"Six years," Tatiana replied idly. "I've had District Four for four of them. I've styled four victors in total - three with District Four, the other one with Six when I was assigned to them."

Athena wasn't really sure if her styling had much to do with those tributes victories, but she decided against pointing it out. It did make Tatiana sound awfully impressive, so long as you didn't think about it for very long. Instead, she said, "So you've worked with Finnick Odair?"

" _Finnick?_ Oh, have I  _ever_ ," Tatiana said, which Athena found a little odd to say, but before she could ask about it, Tatiana remarked, "Your prep team did a good job with you."

"They were very thorough," Athena agreed dryly.

Done examining her, Tatiana moved to stand in front of Athena, saying, "My partner, Syrio, should be with your partner, Kai, right now. You'll be excited to hear that we have such a  _good idea_ for you two for the opening ceremonies!"

Athena wasn't sure she was very excited. For the opening ceremonies, tributes were supposed to wear something that represented their district and its main industry. For District Four, that was fishing. Stylists usually followed the same line of thinking in terms of outfits; green or blue fabrics, sea shells and pearls as decoration, occasionally seaweed or nets thrown into the equation. There were occasionally attempts to break that mold, but many of them ended in disaster. On one memorable occasion, the two tributes had gone out, completely naked except for strategically placed seashells. Athena prayed that Tatiana and Syrio's definition of a good idea wasn't anything along those lines. She didn't mind being naked in a private room in front of her prep team and her stylist, but she'd rather not  be stark naked for all of Panem to see.

"Yeah, that's - uh - great to hear," Athena smiled, mostly to be polite.

"So, District Four's main industry is fishing," Tatiana explained, as though Athena was not aware, "and as such, stylists always love to dress up the tributes as the fishermen or the sailors. But this year, Syrio and I were thinking that we dress you up as the creatures that  _live_ in the sea. After all, it's said people from District Four swim so fast they might as well be living in the sea."

"So, you want to turn me into a fish," Athena said slowly.

"Not a fish, silly! A  _mermaid!_ " she replied, as though surprised Athena's mind hadn't immediately jumped to a mythical sea creature.

Athena stared at her blankly, as though waiting to make sure that Tatiana wasn't just joking. When she showed all signs of being serious, however, Athena began to wonder if she would've been better off being dropped off right away in the arena.

"A mermaid," Athena repeated. "Which is... part fish."

"If you want to get technical about it," Tatiana said, waving the comment away airily. " _Relax!_ You're going to look so  _gorgeous_."

Athena would almost take her chances in the arena as they were.

 

*

 

A few hours later, Athena was wondering if she felt pretty or ridiculous or both. She was in a long, floor-length blue-green skirt, made out of a fabric that looked exactly like the scales of a fish (or a mermaid, she supposed), but was soft to touch. In order to resemble a tail, the skirt stuck to her skin, before flaring outward dramatically. On top, she was wearing a tight corset of the same colour, with slits in the side, stopping at her midriff. Parts of her bare skin on her torso, arms, neck and face were adorned with seashells or little gems. Except for making it wet to add to the mermaid effect, her hair was kept as it was. On her head, she wore a silver crown encrusted with sea shells and precious gems. Athena's makeup was kept surprisingly minimal; besides some highlighting, eyeliner, and eye-shadow to match her outfit, she wasn't wearing any at all.

"You're gorgeous as you are," Tatiana said in explanation. "Besides, I want people to recognize you. I want people to always recognize your face."

Athena kept on the necklace her mother had given her, at her own request. Tatiana agreed, saying it was an awfully pretty little thing and that she didn't blame Athena for wanting to show it off.

In spite of being unsure of how to feel about him, Athena was relieved when Kai arrived. He was dressed in a sort of loincloth that was the same colour as her clothes, wrapped around his waist, varying in lengths at different parts. He wore nothing to cover his torso, showing the defined muscles of his chest. He wore a necklace of seashells, a crown to go with hers, and his hair was soaking wet, too. He was accompanied by his stylist, Syrio, and his team. All of the stylists seem giddy with excitement at their work and at the absolute  _splash_ they were bound to make. Athena exchanged looks with Kai, and was gratified by the fact that he looked as unexcited about this as her.

They were whisked away to the bottom level of the Remake Centew, which was essentially a large stable. The opening ceremonies were about to begin. Pairs of tributes were being loaded into a chariot pulled by a team of four horses. Their horses were white, with a few brown spots on them. They were so well-trained that they didn't even need anyone to guide their reigns, which was a relief. Athena suspected this ordeal would be stressful enough without worrying about horses going rogue. Tatiana and Syrio guided Athena and Kai onto the chariot, carefully arranging their body positions and fussing with their outfits, spritzing their hair with water so it remained wet, making sure everything was in place, before moving away to consult with each other.

"So, on a scale of one to ten, how uncomfortable do you feel?" Kai said out of the corner of his mouth.

"Nine and a half," she replied. "My only comfort is that if they - " she jerked her head towards their stylists - "like it so much, then the rest of the Capitol probably will, too. You?"

"I'd say nine," he said, shrugging. "I actually don't look  _that_ bad."

With that, he started flexing his muscles dramatically. Athena laughed, punching him lightly.

"The Capitol will eat that up."

"As they should," he said with a wink.

Athena was about to ask teasingly if he was going for the Finnick Odair method, but the thought of him made her wonder where he and Mags were while all of this was happening. She was about to ask Kai to see if he knew, but then the opening music began playing. It was easy to hear, blasted at full volume all over the Capitol. Massive doors slid open, revealing the crowd-lined streets. The ride was to last twenty minutes, ending at the City Circle, where the tributes would be welcomed, the anthem would be played, and they would be escorted to the Training Center, which was their home ( _prison, really_ , Athena thought) until the Games began.

The tributes from District One rode out in a chariot pulled by snow-white horses. They looked beautiful, spray-painted golden, with elegant clothes glittering with jewels. District One made luxury items for the Capitol. Athena could hear the roar of the crowd already. They were always favourites.

 _So are we,_ Athena thought, a little desperately.  _The Capitol loves District Four, too._

District Two got into position to follow them, and in almost no time at all, they were approaching the door. Athena could see that dusk was beginning to fall, the sky gradually darkening. Tatiana and Syrio were on either side of the chariot, jogging slightly keep up with them, shouting advice at them over the music.

"Remember! Keep your head up, your back straight, and smile!" Tatiana called to Athena, struggling not to be drowned out by the music. "They'll love you! You look gorgeous,  _own it!_ "

With those words in mind, Athena and Kai entered the city.

They seemed to draw attention to them almost immediately. Cheers and shouts in support of other districts turned into cries of "District Four!" For a moment, Athena was frozen, overwhelmed by the noise, the sea of people on either side. Then she caught a glimpse of herself and Kai on a large television screen. Something about the deepening twilight made them look better. The scales seemed less artificial, the mermaid effect more authentic. And the choice to put them in little makeup was a good one; they weren't forgettable, but they were utterly recognizable. As ridiculous as Athena thought it was, there was something vaguely mystical about them in this light. And no matter what she thought, the Capitol seemed to love the way they looked, just as the stylists had said they would.

 _Might as well really get them going,_ Athena thought.

With that thought in mind, Athena lifted her chin and gave the crowd her most winning smile, waving all around. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Kai flexing her muscles for the crowd, making the Capitol citizens go wild. Biting back a laugh, she kept smiling and waving, winking a few times, and even blowing kisses to the crowd when she built up enough confidence. It felt excessive to her, but the crowd loved it, reaching to catch her kisses like they were a real, tangible thing. She felt herself getting excited, a flicker of hope sparking inside of her. Surely she had to at least be getting the  _interest_ of a sponsor? This would have to help her later on.

People started throwing flowers at them. Roses, tulips, violets, chrysanthemums, sunflowers, everything, showering them in blossoms. Athena and Kai caught what they could, sniffing delicately, waving them at the crowd. Among all the noises the crowd made, Athena heard her own name being called, chanted over and over, meaning they bothered to learn her name.

In spite of her mounting excitement, Athena was relieved when they entered the City Circle. Her face was starting to hurt from smiling so much, and her arms were sore from waving them so high in the air for so long. The twelve chariots filled the loop of the City Circle. On the buildings that surround the Circle, every window is packed with the most prestigious of the Capitol. The horses pulled the chariots right up to President Snow's mansion, and they came to a halt. The music ended with a flourish.

President Snow, a small, thin, pale man with paper-white hair to match his name, gave the official welcome from a balcony above them. It was traditional to cut away to the faces of the tributes during the speech. Athena could see on the screen, however, that she and Kai were getting a great deal more airtime that some of the other tributes. When the national anthem began to play, there was more of an effort made to cut to each pair of tributes, but even so, the camera held on them for longer than it should have as the District Four chariot parades around the Circle one last time, before disappearing into the Training Center.

No sooner had they reached the inside of the Training Center were she and Kai engulfed by the prep teams, nearly unintelligible as they babbled praises. Athena was starting to see why Career Tributes got so cocky during the Games; it must be hard to stay humble when you had people like this singing your praises all the time. Then Tatiana and Syrio arrived, helping them down from their chariots.

"You did so  _well_ out there!" Tatiana said excitedly, straightening out Athena's outfit again, though there was no real need now. "You looked amazing! Ah, I told you this would work out!"

"Yeah," Athena admitted, deciding to give her credit where it was due. "Yeah, you did."

"There are my little mermaids!" said a familiar voice, and Athena and Kai both turned to see Finnick and Mags approaching, both of them grinning.

"Cute," she told Finnick, raising her eyebrows. "How long have you been waiting to call us that?"

"Ever since Tatiana and Syrio told us about their idea four hours ago," he replied easily. "It's a relief to get it out."

Mags walked forward, grabbing Athena's and Kai's hand in each of hers. She mumbled something, and Athena made out, "You... very... was... and... graceful."

It wasn't much, but the smile on Mags' face and the use of the word "graceful" told Athena that Mags was praising them, so Athena smiled, squeezed her hand, and said, "Thank you." Kai didn't seem to get anything at all out of it, but just smiled and nodded, but it have her the distinct impression he wasn't trying so hard to understand her.

"Don't get too proud of yourself, though," Finnick said, moving to stand between them and putting an arm around each of them. Athena tried very hard not to think about how warm his hand was against her skin. "We've still got a lot of work to do."


	4. IV

**IV**

 

The Training Center had a tower designed exclusively for the tributes and their teams. This tower was their home until they were sent to the arena. Each district had an entire floor. All one needed to do was step into an elevator and press the number of their district. Easy enough to remember.

Athena had ridden in elevators several time. There were elevators in the academy and in the Justice Building. They worked well and everything, but sometimes they creaked and they didn't move all that fast. The walls of this elevator were made of crystal so that they could see the people on the ground turn into ants as they shot into the air. It was an oddly exhilarating feeling for an elevator, and if she didn't already know that it would sound childish, Athena would ask if they could go on it again.

"Where were you, anyway?" Athena asks Mags and Finnick, as they stepped out of the elevator. "While we were getting ready and in the stables and everything?"

"We were doing our jobs," Finnick replied matter-of-factly. "Getting you sponsors."

"How'd it go?" Athena and Kai asked in unison, suddenly alert.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Finnick said with a smirk. "Unfortunately, there's nothing definite. As much as everyone loved you out there, nobody wants to invest money on someone they don't know anything about yet. We got people interested, but we're going to have to wait a few days before we can seal any deals."

It wasn't much, but Athena was comforted by the fact that they were at least on the right track. And they still had a few days until they went into the arena. As long as she didn't find some way to ruin everything in the meanwhile...

From the looks of it, Athena could probably fit a great deal of her house into her quarters. Like the train car, they were plush, but with so many automatic gadgets that she was a little disappointed by the realization that she'd never have time to push all of the buttons. The shower alone somehow managed to have a panel with more than a hundred options to regulate water pressure and temperate, soaps, scents, oils, shampoos, and massaging sponges. When she stepped onto the matt, there were heaters that came on instantly, blow drying her body. Instead of having to struggle with the knots in her hair, all Athena had to do was place her hand on a box that sent currents to her scalp, drying, untangling, and parting her hair, so that it fell around her shoulders, as tame as she had ever gotten it.

She could program the wardrobe for an outfit to her taste. The windows zoomed in and out of different parts of the city at her command. She only needed to whisper food from a menu into a mouthpiece for it to appear, hot and steamy, in less than a minute. Though Athena hated the Capitol, she was starting to understand them. If she lived in such comfort, such luxury, for her whole life while being told all the same lies about Panem and the Games, she might have become oblivious to the suffering of the rest of the country, too.

Soon, Alayne called her down to supper. Athena was glad she hadn't eaten anything, though she knew tonight's supper wouldn't really be about the food, but about strategizing. Finnick and Mags were already seated at the table when they arrived, speaking in low voices. Kai, Tatiana, and Syrio were seated on the balcony that overlooked the Capitol, but walked over to the dining room at the sight of her and Alayne. Athena was glad Tatiana and Syrio were there. No matter how she felt personally about their ideas, they were smart and knew what the Capitol wanted to see. They could play a big role in getting the Capitol to like her.

A young, silent man dressed all in white offered them all stemmed glasses of wine. At first, Athena thought about turning him down, but then reconsidered. Before money had gotten too scarce, her parents had had alcohol at home, wine included, but she had never had any herself; she didn't know how her parents would react if they found out, and Athena thought she had quite enough to be getting on with without getting an earful about drinking too young. Some of the sailors would pass around flasks of whiskey like it was water while they were at sea, but Athena never drank too much, scared it would throw her off her work. Then there were the parties the people her age would throw, celebrations that were only ever permitted because they never got out of control and they were always thrown in celebration of the Games. She was well-liked enough to get invited to them, but she didn't always go. When she did, though, the alcohol there was never wine and she never drank enough to get drunk. In any case, if she was dying in a few days, she figured it wouldn't matter if she drank, so she accepted the offer. The liquid was tart and dry, but she remembered her mother saying in passing once that it grew on a person, so she kept drinking.

Athena didn't pay much attention to the small talk being exchanged at first, listening just enough to know when she needed to chime in. Mostly she concentrated on the food, delicious and rich as per usual. The servers, all young people in white tunics like the one who gave them wine, moved wordlessly in and out of the room, ensuring platters and glasses were full. She wondered dimly why they didn't make any sound at all, if it was part of the job description to not bother the tributes and their team. When the conversation shifted from small talk and started getting down to business, she slowed down with the wine, wanting to avoid that foggy feeling in her head and stay focused.

"Now," Finnick said, fixing his eyes on Athena and Kai, "getting sponsors is important, but it's not everything. You can be the most well-liked person in the world, but if you haven't got any useful skills, all the gifts in the world won't save you. You two were in the academy, which puts you at an advantage, but there are two other districts who have that exact same edge. You start training tomorrow, don't waste your time."

Mags added something to that, though Athena could only make out, "Look... tributes... skills... calculate."

Everybody at the table seemed to get even less than her out of it, except for Finnick, who seemed to understand every word. Athena thought she understood the gist, so she asked, looking between Mags and Finnick, "What qualities should we look out for in other tributes? What qualities are worth forming an alliance over? How do you decide who you should mark as an enemy right away?"

"Look for someone whose strengths are you weaknesses," Finnick replied. "For example, if your weakness is survival skills - " he nodded at Kai - "and you meet someone who's a natural at that, then why pass up the opportunity? I think it's obvious to say that you should look for somebody smart and fit. Don't go for anyone too much stronger or smarter than you, though. You might be protected for the first little while, but as the number of tributes go down and allies start to turn on each other, you'll have your work cut out for you when you want to take care of them. Pretty much everyone else is who you mark down as your enemy."

"Is that all, then?" Kai asked, swallowing and looking as overwhelmed as Athena felt.

"It's the gist," Finnick said with a shrug.

Athena looked over at Mags questioningly to see if she had anything else to add. Mags looked thoughtful for a moment, before saying, "Instinct. Go w-with... instincts..."

"Excellent point," Finnick said, nodding at Mags in acknowledgement. "Trust your git. There could be an alliance with someone that, logically, should be perfect, but doesn't feel right. Go with that feeling. Countless tributes have died in the arena just because they ignored their instincts."

Both Athena and Finnick turned to Mags then, checking to see if there was anything else. She simply nodded once though, apparently satisfied with his advice.

After dessert, in which Athena happily reconnected with her love for truffles, they moved into the sitting room to watch a recap of the opening ceremonies that was being broadcasted. They weren't the only tributes to make a good impression, but few of them got the reaction from the crowd that Athena and Kai had. Tatiana and Syrio received a round of applause for their work, which they received cheerfully, taking a bow.

"Can you get a feel of who we should look out for from any of this?" Kai asked Finnick, when the recap was finished.

Finnick shook his head. "Smiling, waving, and looking pretty is good for the cameras and all, but it doesn't mean they'll be any use in the arena."

Mags nodded in agreement, though Kai hadn't really been addressing her. Kai simply nodded, shrugging the lack of information off.

"You two should go to bed," Finnick said. "We'll talk more at breakfast about what angle we'll play at while training. For now, you should get some sleep and let the grown-ups talk."

It was ridiculous to say when Finnick was only a year older than Athena and two years older than Kai, but neither of them questioned the dismissal. Halfway over to her quarters, Athena caught a glimpse of the balcony and decided she wanted to look over at the view herself for a time. Murmuring for Kai to go ahead, she wandered over to the balcony, taking in the breathtaking view of the Capitol. Everything about it felt fake, but without the bright light of the sun to bring out how artificial it all was, she could almost ignore that none of it felt real.

She wasn't quite sure how long she stayed on the balcony for, but a voice behind her eventually said, "Funny, didn't realize you were planning to sleep on the balcony."

Athena whipped around to see Finnick approaching her slowly, moving to stand beside her, leaning against the railing.

"Kinda wasteful when you've been given all that space just for you. Or is that not rebellious enough for you? You might want to dress a little more warmly, though; the last thing you want is to get a cold during the Hunger Games."

"Very funny," she said, shooting him a look. "I just wanted a look at the view. The city's beautiful at night."

"You think this is good?" Finnick said. "You should see the roof. I can show you, if you want."

"First you imply that I should stop being distracted by the view and go to bed," Athena raised her eyebrows, "and then you offer to distract me with... a better view?"

"If you're going to risk not being rested on your first day of training over some pretty sights, you might as well do it right," he shrugged. "Come on, I'll lead the way."

With that, he turned and walked away, not even looking back, apparently perfectly confident that she would follow. A part of her wanted to stay put, just so he wouldn't win. The other part of her, though, really wanted to see the view from the roof. In the end, the other part of her won out, following Finnick to an elevator, though she wasn't proud of it.

The elevator led to a small, dome-shaped room that led to the outside. As soon as they stepped outside into the cool, windy air, Athena's breath caught in her throat at the view. The Capitol twinkled like a vast field of fireflies.

"See? Told you you'd like it," Finnick said, grinning at her reaction.

He walked straight to the edge of the roof, but Athena was looking around the roof itself, looking for a camera or  _something_ that showed we were being surveyed. It was easy to get that feeling in the Training Center, and she wasn't sure the roof was any different.

"Are we allowed up here?" she asked Finnick, finally giving up when she found nothing. If there were cameras, they were kept well-hidden.

"Well,  _I'm_ allowed to do whatever the hell I want," he answered. "And when you're with me, you're given a bit more freedom, so I think we're fine."

"So," she said slowly, "say I wanted to come up here without you. What happens then?"

"Realistically, nothing," he shrugged. "Even if you get caught by someone important, they'll just escort you back down to your floor. I don't know where's the fun in it if I'm not there, though."

"Trust me, I can think of a lot of fun to be had if you're not there."

"Oh, really? We were doing so well!" Finnick said, feigning disappointment. "We almost made it the whole night without you insulting me!"

"Funny," Athena said, shaking her head.

"I wasn't trying to be funny," Finnick said, very seriously. "I've gotten more scathing comments from you in two days than I have from anyone else in years."

"Welcome back down to earth, then," she said.

She could see on his face that if anything, he was amused instead of angry or upset, so she walked forward to stand beside him. Athena looked straight down the building at the street below, which was buzzing with people. She could hear their cars, the occasional shout, and a strange metal tinkling, even from this high up. In District Four, it was rare for this many people to be out so late, and if they were, they never made so much noise. Athena had never been scared of heights, but it was easy to feel uneasy about how high up the roof was.

"Wait," she said, frowning. "How are we allowed up here? Without even guards or anything? What if a tribute decides to jump off to escape the Games? The fall would kill them for sure."

"What, you think the Capitol hasn't thought of that already?" he raised his eyebrows. He stuck his hand into seemingly empty space. There was a sharp zap and he jerked his hand back. "There's some sort of electric force field that just throws you back up. The Capitol will do anything it takes to make sure that if you die, you do it on television where you can entertain everyone with it."

There was a bitterness in his voice then that surprised her. Athena always assumed that everyone she didn't know from a Career District saw the Games as an honour and based her behaviour on that assumption. It had never occurred to her that her mentors might not like the Games or the Capitol themselves, though it made perfect sense; they had experienced the horrors of the Games first hand, only to be forced to essentially relive it year after year through the tributes they mentored. Admittedly, the idea that Finnick might hate the Games and the Capitol as much as she did, maybe even more, suddenly made him a lot more likeable.

Still, she didn't want to reveal too much of her feelings in case she was imagining things, so she only said, "The Capitol. Always looked out for our safety."

"Yeah," he snorted derisively, "that's one way to put it."

"Are they watching us now?" she asked quietly.

Finnick shrugged, not knowing, and from the looks of it, not particularly caring, either. "Maybe. Probably. Come look at the garden."

With that, he grabbed her wrist and led her away to the other side of the dome, where there was a garden with flower beds and potted trees. From the branches hung countless wind chimes, which explained the tinkling noise she had heard earlier. On a windy night like tonight, the chimes made enough noise to drown out people who didn't want to be heard. Athena would have to stay relatively close to him for that, though.

Trying to ignore the heat that seemed to practically radiate off of him, she said, "It's gorgeous here."

"Yeah, it is," Finnick agreed, looking around. "Mags showed it to me - among other things."

"Mags," she repeated. "She seems like a good mentor."

"She is," he agreed. "I'm glad you can see it. Not everyone can."

Athena wondered if he was referring to Kai, or if there had been other tributes who didn't appreciate Mags, didn't understand her words and didn't ever bother to try. It wouldn't have been very surprising. Mags was old, and the rumors of her losing her wits in her age and becoming an increasingly worse mentor were everywhere in the academy. Finnick becoming a mentor himself didn't exactly help matters. More people would be drawn to the charming, handsome, near legendary young man than the old, frail-looking woman. It had never been hard for Athena to tell that when others talked about how much they would love being mentored, they really only meant by Finnick.

"What happened to her?" Athena asked, a little tentatively. "With the way she speaks, I mean - if you don't mind me asking."

"If anything, I'm glad you were brave enough to ask," he shrugged. "Or that you even bothered to, I guess. She had a stroke a few years back - this was before I knew her - but from the looks of it, speech was always a little difficult for her after - well, after - "

"After the Games?" she guessed. He nodded once. "Is that what's in store for me if I win?"

"Maybe not exactly that," he replied, before taking a few steps closer to her, so that he didn't have to speak any louder than absolutely necessary, "but I'm not going to lie to you and say that it gets easier afterwards. At least if you die, it's over and done with for good. Victors have to live with it forever."

So her options were to die or live with the horrors of the arena haunting her for the rest of her life. Neither particularly favourable, but if she lived, she could go back to her family. That was what mattered.

"What's that -  _thing_ you and Mags do with your hands sometimes?" she asked suddenly. "Those gestures?"

"Those? Sign language," he replied. "It apparently used to be used a lot more frequently, but not anymore, which is probably why you haven't heard of it. I didn't know what it was until Mags showed me. Her other taught it to her. Sometimes when talking gets hard, she'll use it instead. I do it, too, when it makes her more comfortable."

"Can I learn? If she's my mentor, I want to be able to communicate with her in the best way possible," Athena said, tilting her head up at him.

Finnick let out a laugh, making Athena wonder if she'd said something wrong. "I admire the dedication, but believe me when I say you'll be doing enough the next few days without learning a whole new method of communication. Anything you need to know from her, she'll be able to convey to you, don't worry."

She wasn't entirely sure she was comforted by that response, but she nodded anyways.  _Trust your mentors._

"Come on," he said, suddenly looking preoccupied. "That's enough pretty views for you, right?"

"I've had my fill," she replied.

"Good, because I would've made you leave either way," he said matter-of-factly.

It became apparent then that they were still holding hands. They looked at their joined hands for a moment, before ripping them away from each other. The air was suddenly very tense, and contrary to what she would've expected from him, Finnick wasn't so cocky, not quite meeting her eyes.

"Come on," he said again. "Time for bed for you."

He led the way back to the elevator. As though to make sure she made no other detours, he walked her all the way to the door of her chambers.

"Go straight to sleep, alright?" he said, his voice mock-stern. "The Capitol isn't going anywhere and neither are the views. You win the Games, you'll have tons of time for pretty things."

"Sounds promising."

"Good. Sweet dreams, Maris," he said with a wink, his former arrogance apparently back in full swing, before striding away from her.

Athena watched him as he went for a moment, before opening the door to her chambers and walking in. She nearly let out a yelp when she saw someone else was already in the room, when she realized it was one of the servers from dinner, a girl with chestnut brown hair and striking grey eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Athena asked as she closed the door behind her.

The girl whipped around at the sound, startled, eyes wide. When she realized who it was and that Athena wasn't any immediate threat, the girl simply held up something in her hands. Athena saw then that the girl was holding her outfit from the opening ceremonies, remembering that she had left it carelessly on her bed earlier. Athena supposed the Capitol thought that the tributes had enough to be getting on with without having to worry about picking up after themselves.

Athena wanted to know why none of these servers had made any sort of noise all night, but figured it'd be rude to ask, so she just said, "Oh. Uh - thank you."

The girl simply nodded once, giving her a tight-lipped smile. With that, she hurried out of Athena's chambers, closing the door silently behind her.

Athena was glad she didn't ask why they didn't speak, because later that night she realized with a jolt that they must be an Avox. Avoxes were people who had committed a crime, usually treachery against Panem and the Capitol, and had their tongues cut off so they couldn't speak as punishment. To make matters worse, Avoxes were usually then forced into serving positions - such as, it seemed, serving the tributes in the Training Center. All the servers she'd seen so far were so young. The grey-eyed girl barely looked much older than Athena. She wondered how old she had been when she was deemed a traitor and had her tongue forcibly removed.

Vowing to find some sort of way to be kinder to the Avoxes in the future (though, she'd heard before that you weren't supposed to talk to them unless you were giving them an order; she'd have to find a way around that), she fell into another fitful sleep.

She woke up early again, chased into consciousness by another nightmare. This time, for some bizarre reason, Calypso was in the arena with her. The two of them ran through some forest area until they reached a cliff. At the cliff, Athena turned to her sister, fell to her knees, and begged Calypso to kill her so that she could make it out alive. Instead of just stabbing her, though, her sister cut off her tongue with a spear and pushed her off the cliff, sending her falling what seemed to be hundreds of feet. Athena woke up before she could hit the ground below.

She didn't think she could go back to sleep, and she wasn't really sure she wanted to, so she dragged herself out of bed and into the shower instead. Athena tried playing around with the buttons on the panel, but it soon went from amusing and interesting to confused and a little unpleasant, so she gave up on that and finished showering as quickly as she could. An outfit, presumably for training, had already been left out for her; tight black pants, a tight, navy blue, long-sleeved tunic, and leather shoes. It was the closest thing she'd worn since getting on the train to something she would actually war back home in Four, so she had a certain appreciation for the outfit. She threw her hair up carelessly in a bun.

She looked out the window and saw that the sun was just beginning to rise. She thought about her family then, a thousand miles and just as many years away. It felt impossible that she had been with them two days ago, that she had only been ripped away from them two days ago. They would be awake now, or beginning to rise, at least. Athena wondered if they were thinking about her, if they were worried. She wondered what they thought of her debut at the opening ceremonies. If the positive reception from the Capitol had given them hope, or if they had seen the twenty-three over tributes and thought how only one of them would make it out alive.

There wasn't any set time for breakfast, and nobody had sent for her, but she left her chambers, anyway, wanting to see if anyone else was awake. At the very least, she figured it was best to keep herself busy before the thought of her family made her lose all the control she'd been trying to build up. She found Finnick awake, stretched out on the sofa, looking like she hadn't had much sleep. He looked like he'd been out all night, and she was tempted to ask where he'd been, but decided against it. Unless it affected her and her odds in the Games, she figured it was none of her business what Finnick Odair did.

"You're up bright and early again," he said, having looked over at the sound of her footsteps. He looked her up and down. "Loving the outfit, by the way. Really brings out your eyes."

"Thanks," she said, rolling her eyes at his sarcastic tone. "Hey, just wondering, but has wearing pants suddenly become a foreign concept to you?"

Because Finnick was only wearing an unbuttoned shirt and underwear. Stretched out on the sofa like that, he looked vaguely like one of those ancient statues Athena saw photographs of in school, but she decided not to tell him that.

"Why? Do you find this... distracting?" he asked, bringing himself into a more provocative pose, his voice back to that seductive purr, but the whole effect was ruined slightly by the almost child-like amusement in his eyes.

"Actually, it's the least distracting thing I've seen since coming to the Capitol," Athena lied. "I just don't know how everyone else is going to feel about your near public nudity."

Finnick swung his legs off the sofa and sat up. A grin slowly spread across his face as he looked at her. She was just about to ask what he was smiling about and how the hell he made it seem like he knew a million things about her without her ever telling him, when he spoke.

"You know, you're a very good liar," he said smugly, still grinning. "The only problem is I've noticed you have this habit of glancing up to your left when you do. It gives you away every time. We're going to have to work on that when it's time to prep you for interviews."

Athena thought back and realized, to her dismay, that she had just looked to her upper left while she'd been talking. Annoyed with herself for giving herself away, she opened her mouth to retort, but Finnick beat her to it.

"Don't worry," he said, getting to his feet and walking across the room. "I'll put some clothes on. It's an important day, I wouldn't want to distract you anymore than I clearly already have."

He patted her on the shoulder as he passed her and disappeared out the door. Athena simply stood there for a moment, before rolling her eyes at his long gone form and walking away.

She walked into the dining room, surprised to see that though the table was empty, a long board off to the side that had at least twenty dishes on it. A young man, another Avox, stood off to the side. He nodded when Athena asked if she could just serve herself, so she figured it was safe to eat early. No sooner had she loaded her plate and sat down did Mags and Kai come into the room. She noticed Kai was dressed a little differently than her, in dark grey pants and a lighter blue, short-sleeved tunic. About a minute later, Alayne came into the room, followed by Finnick, fully clothed now, winking at her as he sat down in the empty seat across from her.

"What do you think?" Alayne asked Athena and Kai, gesturing to her clothes, a puffy blue-green blazer and a long skirt in the same colour. "It's in honour of your brilliant debut at the opening ceremonies!"

Athena and Kai exchanged looks.

"Oh - uh - thanks for the support," Athena said politely.

"Yeah," Kai added, "it's very... thoughtful."

Alayne beamed at them, evidently pleased at their appreciation for her outfit choices.

"Let's get right to it, then," Finnick said, and Athena was glad for the change in subject. "Now, as you know, you have four days to train. The fourth day is when you'll be evaluated privately by the Gamemakers. Before we go into too much detail about what you should do, we need to know if you want to be coached separately. It's no problem if you do, it's more common than you'd think."

Athena stared at him, surprised. "Why would we be coached separately?"

"Say one of you had some secret skill or weakness you didn't want the other knowing about."

Athena and Kai looked at each other again.

"I don't have any secret skills," Kai said, looking as though he wished he did. "I mean, I already told you my strengths and weaknesses.  _You_ don't have any secret skills, do you?" he turned to look at her again, looking suddenly self-conscious.

"I'm an open book," she said. "And I don't have any problems if we're coached together."

"Me neither," Kai added.

"Okay, then it's settled," Finnick nodded. "Now go over again what it is you can and can't do."

"I'm good with knife throwing and archery," Kai said. "I'm alright at hand to hand. I'm not good with survival skills or most long melee weapons."

"I'm good with a spear, a shield, and a trident," Athena said. "I'm good at hand to hand combat, too. And I'm decent with a knife. I'm pretty fast, too. But I'm not much use with many other weapons. And I try not to do too much damage."

"Right," Finnick nodded. "Now you're Career Tributes, which means everyone's going to expect you to be good. It's true that you'll be better trained than a lot of the other tributes because of your time at the academy, but like I said last night, Districts One and Two have the exact same advantage. You can't get too confident. And a lot of tributes are going to try hiding their talents so that they have the element of surprise in the arena. Appearing weak to hide your strength is a tried and tested method."

"So what should  _we_ do?" Kai asked. "No one's going to believe us if we act weak when we've been trained in the academy for our whole lives."

"So you don't act weak," Finnick replied simply. "People are going to be looking to you two especially to see what you can do, and you're going to show them. But don't show them  _too_ much. Show them that you're valuable and that you'll be hard to beat, yes, but don't give away just  _how_ good you are. Don't give them a full idea of your skills. And don't give away your weaknesses if you can help it. Improve on them, definitely, but don't make them think that you're useless."

"Learn... skills... expand... abilities..." Mags murmured.

"Good point," Finnick said, snapping his fingers and pointing at Mags, leaning back in his seat. "It's a waste of time for you to spend the entirety of the four days practicing what you're already really good at. Learn something new. Swing a mace, tie some knots, learn how to do camouflage. Knowing how to do at least a little of everything can be life saving in the arena. And remember to keep tabs on the other tributes, too. Are we clear?"

Athena and Kai nodded slowly. She wished she had eaten a little less, because now she was so nervous she might throw it all up, the food churning unpleasantly in her stomach.

"You two will be meeting me at the elevator at ten," Alayne said. "I'll escort you to the training rooms. For now you're free to do as you like."

Athena and Kai, recognizing the dismissal in those words, got to their feet and left the table. They broke apart wordlessly, each one going to their own respective chambers. Athena flopped onto her bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling and trying to do something about her rapid heart rate. The thought of being face to face with the other tributes for the first time made her queasy, nervous about how she would match up to them. The Games seemed to get more terrifying by the minute, and she was beginning to wonder of it was possible to die of fright before the Games could even start.

She shook her head at that, trying to clear it. There was no use lying around being scared of everything. She needed to make something of her fear. She tried to remember those deep breathing techniques they learned in the academy. Athena had never really paid any attention to those, not seeing the point in them; breathing was easy, it was how to make sure they  _stayed_ breathing that they needed to learn. She was beginning to see the purpose in them over the last two days, though, and wished now that she had paid more attention. Finally, Athena managed to remember a few, inhaling and exhaling carefully, until breathing came more easily to her and her heart was beating steadily again.

Then she got out of bed and stretched her muscles, even taking the time to master the stretches that she had never been quite flexible enough to manage before. When she was finished, she started doing the light warmup exercises they did every morning and afternoon in the academy. By the time she was finished, it was near ten and she felt a little more prepared to face the world - or, at the very least, the other tributes in the relatively secure, controlled environment of the training rooms. She cleaned her teeth, straightened out her clothes, and fixed her hair, making it as neat as she could get it. Looks weren't really important while training, but it was strangely important to her that she at least looked put together in front of the other tributes. She verified in the mirror that her expression was neutral, before meeting Kai and Alayne at the elevator.

The actual training rooms were below ground level of the building. With these elevators, it took less than a minute to get there. The door opened into an enormous gymnasium with various stations, weapons, and obstacle courses. There were still another fifteen minutes until ten, so not everyone had arrived yet, though they certainly weren't the first ones there, with about half of the tributes already gathered in a tense circle. Each tribute had a cloth with the number of their district pinned onto their shirt. While someone pinned the number four on Athena's and Kai's backs, Athena arranged her features carefully into a coolly unconcerned expression, the one she used sometimes when selling to Adrian or Selene.

As soon as everyone had entered the gymnasium and joined the circle, the head trainer, a tall, athletic woman named Atala, stepped up and explained the training schedule. Athena noted it wasn't much different than the training schedule at the academy. Experts in each skill would remain at their stations. The tributes were free to travel from area to area as they chose, according to their mentors' instructions. Some stations taught survival skills, other fighting techniques. The main difference from the academy was that they were not allowed, under any circumstance, to spar against each other. There were assistants on hand if they wanted to practice with a partner. Athena and Kai exchanged interested looks at that.

"I wanted to get a feel on how they all fight firsthand," he murmured to her indignantly.

"I guess that's what they're preventing," Athena whispered back. "And us getting hurt."

Which was a fair concern to have, she thought. Injuries happened frequently while sparring in the academy. There was an infirmary in the academy that they could go to, and the healers there always showed them the best ways to heal their injury if they were in the arena with little resources, turning the experience into a lesson. Still, with little under a weak until the Games began, there was no time to be wasted over broken bones or a sprained ankle.

Atala began reading off the list of skill stations. Due to its similarity to the academy, Athena only half listened, examining the fellow tributes as furtively as she could in the meanwhile. She noted, her heart sinking, that most of the boys and about half of the girls were bigger than her. Though, she realized, not all that many of them looked as healthy or strong as she did. They might have size over her, but from the looks of it, she was more fit than a lot of them.

The Career Tributes from Districts One and Two didn't appear to be much different than the people her age back in District Four. They appeared to be as healthy, as strong, and to project the same arrogance and brutality that she had long since associated with life in the academy. When Atala released them to do as they pleased, they all headed straight for the deadliest weapons, wielding them with ease, Kai included. Athena, while technically a Career herself, hung back a little warily. She wanted to wait a little longer, see what everyone else was capable of so she could know how much she needed to show off. Athena looked around contemplatively, before deciding to try her hand at camouflage.

Proper, effective camouflaging was a bit like art, which Athena had never been all that good at (she was actually pretty good at abstract, but all they ever wanted was realistic, which she couldn't do to save her life), so it wasn't hard to believe that camouflage wasn't her strong point. The trainer was a little surprised to see her. Athena knew from her time in the academy that camouflage wasn't exactly the most popular station, and the trainer probably wasn't expecting someone to come along so quickly, if at all. The trainer's surprise turned to excitement, but that went away quickly as he realized how little Athena actually knew about camouflage. The trainer was dedicated, though, Athena had to hand it to him. He stuck with Athena until she improved; though, in the end, the best she could do was camouflage her arm against a tree branch just well enough that "nobody would probably notice as long as they didn't look too hard," to quote the trainer.

Deciding to find something she was a little better at, Athena moved onto a station where the trainer was teaching the two other tributes there (the girl from District Eight, Paige Yarnn, and the boy from District Ten, Angus Keld) how to properly wield a mace. Athena wasn't quite as good as Angus Keld, who could swing around two at a time with apparent ease, or as Paige Yarnn, who struck as quickly and suddenly as lightning with her made, but she soon became fairly good at it - at least, if it came down to it, she could use it effectively in the arena.

Athena remembered Finnick's words about how becoming at least decent in everything could be lifesaving in the arena. Having seen enough of the Hunger Games in her life to know the truth in those words, Athena moved from station to station. She kept an eye out on the other tributes, trying to get a feeling of what their strengths and weaknesses were. While she was at the station dedicated to identifying edible plants and insects, she was momentarily distracted by the sight of the two District Twelve tributes. Marjorie Hopper was hard for Athena to forget, but she forgot the name of the blond-haired boy. Phil or Bill Pinegrove or something similar. They were singing some sort of song that she couldn't recognize together under their breaths, some soothing lullaby. It was mesmerizing, and it took Athena a moment to concentrate on what was in front of her again, making a mental note to look up that song later.

The Gamemakers arrived, twenty or so people dressed in deep purple robes. They sat in elevated stands above the gymnasium, sometimes wandering about to watch them, sometimes jotting down notes, other times eating at the endless banquet that had been set before them, ignoring them all. The man who seemed to lead them was tall and thin, with bright blue eyes and dark, heavily gelled hair. She remembered after a moment that his name was Seneca Crane, remembering him from all his guest appearances on television.

Breakfast and dinner were served on their respective floors, but at lunch, all twenty-four tributes ate in a dining room off the gymnasium. Food was arranged on carts around the room and they were to serve themselves. The Career tributes gathered rowdily around one table, as if to prove their superiority, showing that they did not fear each other and everyone else was beneath them. Athena hesitated for a moment. She'd been avoiding the Career tributes while training, but she could dismiss that as a coincidence. Not sitting with them now would definitely be seen as a deliberate thing, and she wasn't sure she wanted to get on their bad side yet. Figuring it couldn't be much different from lunches at the academy, she slid into the seat next to Kai.

"Hey," he murmured. "Where have you been? I've barely seen you this whole time."

"Uh - trying new things," she said vaguely.

The other Careers all fixed their gazes on her, and she knew why. They all had time to become familiar with each other; she was a new addition that they needed to figure out.

"What so we have here?" said Bastion Silver from District One, smirking at her. "Athena Maris. Where have you been hiding from us this whole time?"

"Probably crying in a corner," said Sapphire Satin, grinning. "That's what you did at your Reaping, right?"

"Who said anything about crying?" Athena replied steadily. "If anything, it's a cause for concern that that's what your mind jumped to so easily. Something you have to tell us?"

That got their interest. Sapphire raised her eyebrows at her.

"Oh, so you got confident?" she said. "Where did that one come from?"

"Always there," Athena shrugged. This was exactly like the academy; there was a constant battle, a struggle for power. If it wasn't with weapons, it was with words. "Maybe you just weren't paying attention."

They seemed to like her better when she spoke this way. They were more accepting towards her, at the very least. The only problem was that after lunch, she had to be a lot more careful with how she acted, needed to behave a lot more impressively than she had been. She didn't want to use a spear just yet, so she decided to try out hand to hand combat. She gave the training assistant she was sparring with a run for her money, and when she looked over at the Careers, was gratified by the impressed looks on their faces. When she was sure they weren't watching her anymore, Athena moved onto knot-tying. Athena already had a lot of experience with tying knots, though. Most notably, one of the odd jobs she picked up frequently at home was weaving baskets with intricate designs, decorating them delicately, to be sold at the markets, and she had learned all sorts of useful snares during her time on  _The Adventurer_. The trainer looked pleased with her as a result, and taught her all sorts of new, complicated knots and even some snares that Athena hadn't known before.

The girl next to her - Care Savera, Athena remembered, from District Six - wasn't finding it so easy. Her knots always became jumbled, tangled messes instead of something useful. The trainer was trying to help her, but it was easy to tell he was getting impatient.

"Uh - you could try doing this," Athena told her, and showed her an easier way of doing the knot she was trying to make. "It's quicker and easier and you get the same result, so..."

Care mimicked her, moving her fingers carefully, and looked delighted when she finally managed it. She looked up at Athena, beaming, but then quickly made her face harden again. She seemed to remember that they would be bitter enemies in a few days' time.

"Thanks," she said shortly.

"Don't mention it," Athena said with a nod, and looked back down at her own work.

The girl soon left, but Athena remained where she was, deciding to see if she could still weave baskets as well as she used to; it'd been a full six months since she had last done it, and she was a little worried she'd lost her touch. Athena was still as good as she used to be, though, and was soon well on her way to weaving a fairly large basket. She moved a little slower than usual, though, both out of inexperience and because the tributes from District Seven, who were at the nearby climbing station, were distracting her. They were in the midst of an argument. The boy, Rowan Lindell, kept trying and failing to climb up a net hanging down to be climbed, and the girl, Amber Cedara, seemed to be getting increasingly more annoyed with him.

"You're strong! You can lift weights! Why aren't you doing that instead of embarrassing yourself over and over?"

Rowan Lindell's response was so quiet she couldn't hear it, but it certainly seemed to anger Amber Cedara.

"Well, making yourself into a laughing stock isn't going to help you, either!"

Almost automatically, Athena's eyes flickered towards the Careers. As she expected, they were watching the District Seven tributes with mirth in their eyes, as though they thought it would be all too easy to kill them both and the idea was funny to them. Again, Rowan Lindell just muttered something. This only frustrated Amber more, but she seemed to give up, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation and moving away. Rowan let out a sigh, getting to his feet slowly.

"You should show off your strength."

Rowan jumped, whipping around to look at her. Athena wasn't even sure why she said it. All she knew was that she didn't like the way the other Careers were looking at him and wanted desperately to get that expression off their faces.

"W-What?" Rowan spluttered, walking over to her, a little warily, as though she might try to attack him.

"I heard you two talking," Athena replied. "I - she's not exactly quiet, is she?"

Rowan looked embarrassed, but didn't say anything. Athena pressed on.

"If you're good with weights, you should show that off."

"Our mentors said to lie low and not show off," Rowan muttered, looking down at the ground.

"Your mentors aren't here," Athena retorted. "But I am, and I can see the Careers looking at you like you're a piece of meat."

" _You're_ a Career," he pointed out, looking at her distrustfully.

"You're right," she agreed, still working on weaving her basket, "which means I know how they think. And right now, they're thinking that you're the first on their list in the arena. Right now, they think you're an easy target. Show them otherwise. It'll make them back off."

For a moment, Rowan looked conflicted. Then, he just shook his head, and said, "What do you know? For all I know, you're just trying to sabotage me."

With that, he moved away from her again. Athena shook her head, feeling a stab of annoyance towards him, but said nothing. She wasn't his mentor. There wasn't much she could do if he didn't want to listen to her. Besides, she wasn't even sure why she was helping him. If anything, she should be relieved if the other Careers wanted to cross him off their list first; one less person for her to have to face. Trying to feel comforted by that thought, she turned back to her work.

She had just finished weaving the first basket and was weaving another, tighter one so that no water would spill out from it if she poured it into the basket, when she noticed the male tribute from District Two, Nolan Bedford, shoving past Rowan roughly. The trainers exchanged tense looks, but apparently decided not to interfere unless an actual fight broke out. Athena watched Rowan's reaction carefully. For a moment, he appeared to be at war with himself; then, he strode over to the weight-lifting station. Athena watched in interest as he picked up the heaviest weight there, the one she couldn't even begin to life more than a couple feet in the air (she was much stronger than she looked, but not  _that_ strong). He spun around with it once, twice, similar to a shot put thrower, before throwing it so hard across the gymnasium that it slammed into the wall opposite. The amused, malicious looks on the Careers' faces disappeared like smoke. Smiling to herself, Athena looked back down at her basket and continued working on it.

Though she wasn't looking at him, she could sense Rowan Lindell as he approached, and once he was in earshot, said, "What changed your mind?"

"Didn't want to be a piece of meat, I guess," he said, shrugging. She looked up at him with a grin. "Don't know if I'm quite off their hit list, though."

"Maybe not," she admitted. "But at least you're not a moving target."

He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, before extending a hand. "Rowan Lindell."

"Yeah, I know," she said, though she shook his hand anyway. "Athena Maris."

"Yeah, I know," he repeated, when they let go of each other. "Did you do both of those in so little time?"

He nodded at the basket she had already finished and the tighter one she was working on, nearly finished. "These? Oh, yeah," she shrugged. "I know it looks like a lot, but it's really not that hard. I can show you if you - "

Kai seemed to materialize beside her, grabbing her forearm tightly in his hand. "Hey, there you are! I've been looking for you. Can we talk for a second?"

His tone had a forced cheerfulness to it that she didn't like at all. Still, she just shrugged and said, "Okay."

Athena gave Rowan a nod, a gesture he returned. Kai gave him a hard look, scowling at him, before dragging Athena away.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kai hissed, the moment they were out of earshot from Rowan.

"Making alliances, what are  _you_ doing?" Athena retorted hotly.

"With  _him?_ " Kai said disbelievingly.

"Why not?" she demanded. "You saw him throw that weight. Just because he's not a Career doesn't mean he's worthless."

"It's impossible for him to win!" Kai snapped. "Any alliance with him won't last because  _he_ won't last! Be smart about this, okay, Maris?"

Athena was tempted to ask why it mattered to him so much, anyway, but then realized with a jolt that Kai had assumed that they'd be in it together. He assumed that they would be in an alliance, so any alliance she made was his business, too. She was at war with herself for a moment, unsure she wanted to be an alliance with Kai. Kai was strong, certainly, and had a lot to offer in an alliance, and their shared home made it natural for them to come together. Besides, in the midst of all these strange faces with all these skills and talents and abilities, to have one familiar face to have her back, if only temporarily, was a tempting thing.

"Yeah," she said with a sigh. "Sure, I'll be smart about this."

Regardless, Kai shadowed her for the rest of the day, much to her annoyance. Apparently, he didn't trust her on her own anymore.

Back on the District Four floor, Alayna, Mags, and Finnick were quick to grill them at dinner about every moment of the day. What they did with their time, if they improved on anything, if they learned any new skills, what they noticed about the other tributes. At the last question, Kai detailed the many skills of each of the other Career tributes. The most annoying thing about it was that none of it was an exaggeration. They really were that good.

"Career Tributes," Finnick said in recognition, nodding once. "They always stick together, how it is nearly every year. Unless the two of you are completely useless - which I know you aren't - they'll want you, just because you're from a Career District. It's your safest bet for an alliance. Nobody will touch you when you're with them, and you'll have the best fighters on your side until the end. How's that sound?"

Kai just nodded in agreement. Athena didn't say or do anything to that, staring blankly at her plate as she ate. She wanted nothing to do with the Careers, but she doubted saying that would go over well. She knew it was a sensible alliance to involve herself in, after all.

Finnick seemed to take her lack of response as an argument, because he looked over at her with raised eyebrows. "What's with you, Wise One?"

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the use of the nickname and said, "Did I say I have a problem with it?"

"You certainly look it," he replied. "So what is it, then?"

"I just... don't think they're the only tributes who have something worthwhile to offer," Athena said carefully.

"Yeah, she'd much rather paint her arms and weave baskets and make friends with everyone," Kai muttered.

Athena shot him a dirty look. Finnick, however, looked interested.

"Meaning?"

"There was some boy from District Seven that Athena seemed keen to have an alliance with," Kai replied. "Never mind the much more skilled tributes who'd have her in an alliance without question."

"If he was born in the right district, you'd be raving about his talents, too!" Athena protested immediately. "He's not just some boy, he's strong! He threw the heaviest weight in the gymnasium and sent it flying across the room. Most of the tributes can't even lift that weight, let alone throw it as hard as he did. That's not nothing."

"It's not nothing," Finnick agreed. "But it's not everything. Is that all he can do?"

"No," Athena said, before Kai could say anything. "I was watching him, too. He's good at identifying edible plants and insects, and he's good as using an ax, and - "

"Great at falling, too," Kai mumbled.

Athena gave him another look and opened her mouth angrily to retort, but just then Mags said, "Not useless... other option... in mind."

"Mags is right," Finnick nodded. "He might be useful but that doesn't mean you should shut down the Careers for him. And for the love of God, Athena, start showing off more. Learning new skills is useful, but you should be honing in what you're good at at least a little bit and giving everyone else a better idea of what you're capable of. Don't give every part of yourself away, but you need to  _intimidate_ people. And start making nice with the Careers, you're safer off that way."

Athena didn't much like it, but she knew he had a point, so she just nodded once and said, "Fine."

 

*

 

The next morning, Athena chanted over and over again the goals she needed to achieve to herself mentally:  _make nice with the Careers, keep my options open, show off more; make nice with the Careers, keep my options open, show off more; make nice with the Careers, keep my options open, show off more._ It didn't do much for the nerves chewing her up on the inside out, but at least it kept her head clear, her mind focused on what she needed to do.

She passed Finnick on the way to meet Kai and Alayne at the elevator, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back until her body was against his. She was distracted only momentarily by the warmth of his body, the light, pleasant scent of mint and something oddly familiar, before jerking herself away from his grip.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, indignant.

"Making sure you're listening," he said unabashedly.

"Saying my name would've sufficed," she said shortly.

"Noted," he said, though he had an amused grin on his face. "Though most people tend to be very appreciative of those types of greetings from me. In any case, remember what I said - join with the Careers. The last thing you need is for them to all be against you."

"Got it," she said.

"And remember to show off," he added. "A Career never won the Games by lying low. Make them all a little scared of you. Flex if you have to."

He nodded at her arms with a grin. In spite of herself, she let out a laugh. When Athena joined Kai and Alayne at the elevator, they were both giving her an odd look. Alayne she shrugged off, figuring it was just Alayne being Alayne, with her off, rather uncomfortable affection for Finnick, considering the difference in age. Kai she was more confused about.

"What?" she demanded.

"Nothing," he said, looking away from her, though it didn't seem like nothing.

The moment training got started, she decided to try her hand at knife throwing, since that was her weakest point when it came to knives. Try as she might, however, she couldn't get the knives she threw to get anywhere near the center of the target.

"You're trying too hard," a voice said, and she whipped around to see Care Savera standing there, staring up at her critically. "You're putting too much into it, you're making it more complicated than it needs to be. Stop waving your wrist around so much. When you go to throw the knife, just let it go."

Athena looked at her hesitantly, before taking another one of the knives and throwing it again, following her instructions this time. The knife hit the bullseye. Athena straightened up, grinning happily, before straightening her face and looking at the girl more seriously.

"Thank you."

"I owed you one for this," the girl said, and held up the knots she had managed to tie. "Cara."

"Athena," she nodded.

The girl nodded back at her, before moving away. Soon, Athena moved over to the new station. It was a simulation in a boxed-in area. There was a ledge that stood higher up, wide enough to run fairly easily on, with pillars placed periodically, serving as hiding places. Computerized, faceless figures attacked whoever stepped inside, and it was up to them to kill the enemies that came at all sides. She watched as Lana Ryker of District Two tried her hand at the simulation. She was doing well, until one of the figures appeared from behind her and slit her throat. It did not actual damage to her, but since she was technically dead now, she failed the simulation. Looking frustrated, Lana stalked off, glaring at anyone who looked at her for too long.

"Anyone else want to try?" said the trainer, looking around expectantly.

Nobody stepped forward. Evidently, after seeing a Career as capable as Lana fail, nobody was all that eager to give it a shot themselves. Finnick's words rang in Athena's mind;  _"And remember to show off. A Career never won the Games by lying low."_

"I'll do it," she said loudly, before she could talk herself out of it.

"Come on up, then," said the trainer. Athena walked through the crowd, aware of the eyes of everyone gathered being glued on her, "Pick your weapon."

"Spear," she replied, figuring it was time to showcase what she was best at.

The trainer handed her a spear, and Athena was pleased to see how similar it was to her own spear back in District Four. She stepped into the simulation. The moment she did, one of the figures sprung up from the ground below and charged at her with a sword. The figure swung at her wildly, its movements imprecise, making it easy to dodge. She shoved the spear where its stomach would be, and it exploded in a small shower of sparks. At that moment, two figures came rushing at her from either side of her. Athena took a step back to get out of the immediate line of fire, before moving behind one of the figures and stabbing it straight through its back. When that exploded, she hit the second figure around the head with the shaft of her spear. While it was down, she put the blade through its head, right through what she knew to be the softest part of the human skull.

Athena saw flashes of movement on either side of her from the ledges above. Running to the wall opposite her, she jumped up, grabbing onto the ledge and hoisting herself up quickly. The figure to her left held a bow and arrow, firing arrows at her. She dodged them, running towards it, knowing that the bow and arrow became relatively useless at close range. When she was close enough, she stabbed the figure first in the leg to weaken it, then in the chest to finish the job. When the figure exploded, she noticed the other figure running to her at top speed, holding a knife in its hands, evidently about to throw it. Before it could, though, she threw the spear, and it sunk right into the figure's gut. The figure disappeared in a shower of sparks, and the speak fell with a clatter. Athena rushed over to pick it up again.

A figure appeared right in front of her as she knelt down to pick up her spear. She managed to stumble away just as the figure brought its sword down on where her head had been moments ago. Athena stumbled back, trying not to fall to the ground below, until her back was against the wall. The figure approached her slowly, and she waited until just the right moment to jump out of the way, moving behind the figure and stabbing it behind its knee. The figure collapsed, and Athena drove her spear down its skull. Just as that figure disappeared, a new one materialized on the ground below, a bow and arrow in its hands. It aimed an arrow at her, but before it could fire, Athena sent her spear flying straight to its head, right where an eye would have been.

Athena jumped down lightly onto the floor, intending to retrieve her spear. Just as she did, another figure appeared, wielding a mace this time. The figure swung at her face, and she managed to duck, moving a few steps away. Carefully, she goaded the figure into moving away from her spear. With her weapon back in her hand, she stabbed the figure in the wrist, making it drop its mace. Then she stabbed it in the chest, and it and its weapon disappeared. She fought off the figures as they materialized, thinking all the while of Hudson's words to her before she left:  _"Fish can be a lot harder to stab than people."_ Athena hadn't believed her at first, but if killing people was anything similar to this, she was inclined to believe her. This was not easy, but it certainly wasn't  _hard_. As long as she didn't think of all the blood there should be, and the fear and the vulnerability in their eyes, and the fact that they may scream and cry and beg and plead...

She stabbed another figure in the chest, where its heart should be, then stood at attention, waiting to hear or see or somehow  _sense_ more appearing. Nothing came, though, even after nearly a minute. None of the others had taken this long to materialize.

"Where's the rest of them?" Athena called over her shoulder to the trainer, frowning.

"There  _is_ no rest of them, Miss Maris," the trainer said. "You killed twenty-three of them. If this were the arena, you would be the victor."

Athena stood there for a moment, shocked at her words. She hadn't counted, but it didn't feel like she had killed that many of them. Sure, she had killed a fair few of them, but twenty-three? How much time had passed? It barely felt like any at all.

"Oh," Athena said, turning to face the trainer and the gathered tributes again. "I guess that settles that, then."

As she stepped back out of the simulation and handed the trainer the spear, Athena noticed that she had attracted a larger audience. More people had come to witness her run in the simulation, and even those that hadn't had paused what they were doing at their stations to watch.

"How's that for showing off?" Athena murmured to Kai as she passed him.

"Yeah, great," he said, though he didn't look very pleased.

At lunch, none of the Careers teased and tested her, apparently wanting to be on her good side now that she had shown what she could do. Following Finnick's advice, she mimicked their behaviour, acting more loud and rowdy with them than she really was. Kai, on the other hand, was more sullen and quiet. On the way back to the gymnasium, she grabbed his wrist and pulled him aside to talk to him more privately.

"Is something wrong?" she asked under her breath, her brow furrowed.

"Fine," he snapped, jerking his hand from her grip, stalking away from her.

Athena watched him with raised eyebrows, but decided to let him go unchallenged. Whatever problem he had, maybe swinging around sharp weapons for a few hours might help him cool off on his own. Figuring she didn't really need to show off too much anymore (indeed, the looks people gave her now varied between impressed and intimidated), she decided to take the time to improve on what she was weaker at, moving from station to station after she became at least decent.

Kai avoided her for a time, but finally rejoined her when she was at the station dedicated to differentiating between plants and their respective properties, including whether they were helpful or harmful to humans. Since she had already been there for a while and wasn't doing too badly, she stepped back to let him have a turn. He really hadn't been lying when he said he wasn't very good with survival skills. He mixed up plants that shared only one physical quality and plants with vaguely similar names and didn't seem to know any of the main warning signs that indicated a plant was poisonous. Athena tried to help him out, giving him tips to help him better remember which plants were harmful and which were helpful and how. That only seemed to irritate him more, and soon he just walked away, shoving past her roughly as he went. Athena stared after him blankly, not understanding why he was so angry, but didn't go after him, wanting to let him cool off on his own. Besides, she didn't want to add fuel to the fire. The Hunger Games would be difficult enough without adding in drama.

That night, Mags, Finnick, and Alayne were all extremely pleased with how she did in training today, all praising her and insisting that if she kept going, the Games would be a walk in the park. Athena wasn't so sure about that, but she was glad to hear that she was doing things right. Kai said little during dinner, and went to bed as soon as discussions of training and strategies were over. Athena frowned after him, but hoped his anger would fade after some sleep. His anger was starting to make her uneasy. She didn't want it to affect his performance in the arena or their alliance.

Sleep was even harder than usual that night. Even when she did finally manage to drift off to sleep, Athena was woken up abruptly by another nightmare of her sister being Reaped instead of her. She couldn't fall back asleep after that, so she tiptoed out of her chambers and wandered over to the roof again. Once she was sure she was alone, she sat down on one of the benches in the garden, staring up blankly at the night sky for a time.

"Thought I'd find you here."

Athena jumped, whipping around towards the source of the noise. It was only Finnick, approaching her and holding an article of clothing in one hand and a flash of something in another, grinning at her reaction.

"I'm telling you, Wise One, you need to be more aware of your surroundings," he insisted. "You can be able to stab a thousand people, it won't do anything if you're oblivious to everything around you."

"I'll keep that in mind," she rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"I came into the sitting room and saw you left this," Finnick replied, holding up a sweater she'd been wearing earlier. "I went to put it back in your chambers, saw the bed was empty, put two and two together."

"Thank you," Athena said, taking the sweater from him and putting it on, since it was rather cold on the roof.

Finnick just nodded, sitting down beside her. Athena looked at him out of the corner of her eyes. He looked like he had been out late again, just as he had yesterday and the day before. Again, Athena found herself wondering what he did in his spare time when he wasn't fulfilling his duties as a mentor. Athena vaguely remembered rumors in the academy of Finnick having lovers in the Capitol, having multiple affairs during each of his yearly visits, though he never stayed with any of them for long, and once he was gone, he was gone for good. The thought of it gave her a strange, unpleasant pang in her stomach that she couldn't quite explain, a feeling that hadn't always been there when she heard her friends whisper about it in the halls of the academy. She was tempted to ask where he went so late at night, to see if the rumors were true, until she remember it wasn't her business.

Before she could work up the courage to ask anyways, he held out the flask to her and said, "Want some?"

"What is it?" she asked, looking at the flask suspiciously.

"Whiskey," he replied. At the look on her face, he insisted, half laughing. "Just whiskey! I promise! What kind of person do you think I am?"

Deciding not to answer that question, Athena took the flask from him and drank from it. Indeed, it was whiskey, and for a moment she almost felt like she was back on the ocean again on  _The Adventurer_.

"Not your first time drinking, then?" he noted, as she handed the flask back to him.

"I work on ships," she replied. "Sailors drink this stuff like it's water. Hard to not get exposed to it."

"Really?" he looked interested, taking a swig from the flask. "Which ship?"

" _The Adventurer_ with Hudson," she replied. "Why?"

"That explains why I never saw you," he said in understanding. "I work with Hudson sometimes, but I'm usually with Rika on  _The Emperor._ "

"You work on the docks?" she said, surprised.

"Why the look of surprise?" he said, handing the flask to her.

"I don't know," she shrugged, taking another swig. "I just figured you wouldn't need to do anything like that since - well - since - "

"Since becoming a victor?" he guessed. She nodded. "There are very few things that I need to do now that I'm a victor, Athena. Most of what I do is because I want to. Working at the docks and on the water is part of that. I want my own ship one day."

"Really?" she said, surprised, handing the flask to him.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Not some big ship for fishing. Just my own thing to go sailing with. I've always wanted one. And now I have the money."

Athena was surprised at this part of Finnick Odair. She knew he was from District Four, of course, but having never really seem him anywhere except on television and at the Hall of Justice on Reaping days, it was hard to picture him as someone who lived their day-to-day life there. It was slightly strange to think he roamed the docks just as often as she did.

"You've had the money for four years now," she pointed out, as he drank from the flask. "Why wait?"

"I don't know," he admitted, shrugging. "I guess I just want to do it right. In my own time and my own terms." He paused at those words, then said, a little quietly. "I've never told anyone that before. Any of this. You're the first person I've told. I don't know why."

"Maybe you were waiting for someone with the same passion for boats," she replied, taking the flask from him, surprised and rather pleased that she was the first he confided in about this.

"Maybe," Finnick said, though they both knew that likely wasn't it. He paused for a moment. "Maybe it's the whiskey."

"Always the easiest to put it on that, isn't it?" she laughed.

"Speaking of whiskey, stop hogging it," he said, snatching the flask back from her. "Don't they teach you to  _share_ in the academy?"

Athena shot him a look as he drank, then said, "I've been wondering - if you think the academy is so awful and everything they teach us is so useless, why don't  _you_ teach there? They'd welcome you with open arms, probably pay you twice as much as the other victors who teach there, too. Everyone would listen to everything you'd say. Everyone loves you there."

"Everyone?" he asked, raising his eyebrows and passing the flask to her.

"Well, not me, obviously," she said. "But the other ninety-nine percent adores you."

Finnick laughed, but shook his head, saying, "I do my time every year by being a mentor. I'm not going to add on going to the goddamn academy every day. A person can only do so much. Besides, I already have more money than I'll ever need, I don't want any more. Though," he said thoughtfully, as Athena took a swig and handed it back to him, "it would be nice to mentor someone who doesn't argue every piece of advice I give."

"You have that with Kai," she said, grinning. "Besides, I don't argue  _every_ piece of advice."

"Yeah, just ninety-nine percent of it," he said, shooting her a look.

"Fair enough," she conceded. Silence fell between them, and Athena started thinking about Kai again, his strange behavior all day. "Finnick... do tributes have to form alliances with their district partner?"

"In the arena, you don't have to do anything but what it takes to survive," he said, tipping his head back and taking a long swig from the flask. "So no, you don't. People usually do because it's a familiar face among all the strangers, making them easier to trust. Also because if you can't make it out alive, the next best thing is someone from home. But it doesn't always happen. Some people try the lone wolf tactic and don't form an alliance with anyone because they don't want to get attached to anyone when only one of them can come out. Some people think their district partner is too weak to stand a chance and form alliances with others. Once you get into the arena, you're not really bound to your district partner in any way. Why? Do you not want an alliance with Kai?"

"Other way around," she said, taking the flask back and taking a swig. "I don't think he wants one with me anymore."

"Why?" Finnick frowned, straightening up. "Did he say something? Has he threatened you, hurt you at all?"

"No," she admitted, feeling a little ridiculous now that Finnick was so concerned over something she couldn't even prove. "Not exactly. He's been sort of... cross with me."

"Cross with you?" Finnick repeated slowly. "You realize you're going into the Games where you'll soon be trying to kill each other? Where twenty-two other people will be very  _cross_ with you? Did you expect this to be a fun, friendship-building event - "

"It's not like that," she protested, her embarrassment now mixed with irritation. "Look, I didn't quite explain it well."

"That much is clear," he agreed.

"I just  _meant_ ," she pressed on determinedly, "that he's just been acting... really different all day today. He's quieter and he's rougher and he's sort of... meaner with me. And the way he's been looking at me all day... look, I get that I might just be paranoid and blowing things out of proportion, but it can't  _all_ be in my head."

To her surprise, he made no sarcastic, taunting remark. Instead, he just nodded slowly, looking thoughtful. "I'll talk to him," he said finally. "I'll see what he has to say about you. If you ask me, though, I think he's jealous."

" _Jealous?_ " Athena repeated, half thinking she had misheard him. " _Him?_ Of  _me?_ He's the district's golden tribute this year! He's the one that stepped forward when his name was chosen, all composed and brave, while I looked scared to death, you even said so! He's all graceful and smiling and handsome, he - "

" - doesn't light a candle to you, and he knows it, whether you do or not," Finnick cut her off firmly. "He  _was_ the district's golden tribute, but now you're starting to get all this attention, and he's certainly noticed it, even if you haven't. Mags and I have spoken with other mentors, and from the looks of it, a lot of the other tributes want you in an alliance after your little stunt today. And a lot of the sponsors I've talked to have their eye on you in particular. Everyone's starting to look at you now. He thought he was the one with the better odds to survive. He just doesn't know how to handle it."

"Well, maybe  _he_ should train harder, then," Athena said hotly, more to mask her surprise than anything.

"He should," he agreed. "That's what I'm going to tell him." He took another long drink, before handing the flask to her. "Have the rest of that - don't drink it all at once, though," he added with a wink. He got to his feet. "I'm going to bed. Don't stay up too late; training tomorrow bright and early."

"Okay," she said. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

At that point, something very strange happened. Finnick stretched out his hand, as though to touch her. Athena's fingers twitched upward, and she had a half-mind to grab his hand, but then he seemed to realize what he had done. He snatched his hand away as though he'd been burned, murmured a surprisingly sheepish apology, and walked away quickly, gone within seconds. Athena stared at the spot he had disappeared from, stunned. She had no idea where any of that had come from, or why he was so sheepish about it, as if he hadn't pulled her body against him that very morning. There were many things Athena Maris did not understand about Finnick Odair. She supposed this would have to be one of them, at least for now.

Sighing, she shook her head, looking away. Contrary to Finnick's advice just then, she drained the rest of the flask in one swig, before getting to her feet, slightly unsteady. With that, she stumbled back to her room, intending to sleep off the effects of the alcohol before morning.


	5. V

**V**

 

Athena woke the next morning with a headache and a queasy stomach that had to do with more than just her nerves about the Games. Once she was certain her stomach had settled enough and her migraine had become something bearable, she dressed and went over to the dining room for breakfast. Everyone was already at the table, so she served herself silently and slid into the empty seat next to Alayne, who was back in her blood red clothes.

"So, the plan today is the same as ever, right?"

"No reason why it should change, is there?" Finnick replied in an oddly strangled voice, looking at a spot a few inches above her head instead of at her.

Athena glanced up above her to verify that there wasn't a giant spider descending upon her, before looking back at Finnick suspiciously. "Uh - no. Just checking."

"Well," he said shortly, looking down at his plate, "there you have it."

Athena stared at him blankly. Both he and Kai beside him were not looking at Athena - or, really, acknowledging her at all. Kai she wasn't surprised about, considering his behavior yesterday, but Finnick was unexpected. Was this about - well, whatever had happened between them last night? Athena thought that he would have moved past it by now.  _She_ had, at least. It didn't help matters when she looked at Mags and Alayne and saw on the looks on their faces that they seemed to understand what the problem was. Meaning everyone knew but her.

After breakfast, in the time before Athena and Kai had to go down to the training rooms, Athena found Finnick, grabbed his wrist, and dragged him aside to speak to him.

"You're getting awfully demanding for my attention - " Finnick said lowly, still not looking at her.

"Have I done something?" she asked impatiently. "Why are you acting so different?"

"I don't know what you mean - " he began.

"Yes, you do," she said flatly. "I don't know if I've done something to upset you, but if you're not going to tell me so I can fix it, then find some way to get over it, because I'd rather it not affect how you mentor me."

"I - uh - I don't think you have to worry about that," Finnick murmured. Before she could ask what he meant by that, he said, "I talked to Kai."

"You did?" she straightened up, momentarily distracted. "What did he say?"

"He's had a change of heart," he replied. "He wants to be coached separately."

Athena was silent for a moment, stunned, before saying, "What? Why? He said he didn't have anything to hide - ?"

"He doesn't," Finnick replied, his gaze flickering down to look at her for once. "He's just decided that he'd rather not be with you for training. He still wants an alliance with you, though, that hasn't changed."

Athena stared up at him, confused and a little annoyed. She didn't understand why Kai would want to be coached separately from her if he still wanted them to be allies in the arena. And she didn't understand why he didn't just  _tell_ her that yesterday instead of leaving her to be clueless - and she was a little irritated about it.

Still, she found she couldn't be too angry at him. It was his choice - though it would've been nice to have been included in it.  _It's his life on the line, too_ she thought. _He'll be in just as much danger as I will. He left a family behind, too. If this is what he thinks he needs to do to get back to them, let him._

"Fine," she said heavily, sighing. "So how does this work, then? One of us gets you and the other gets Mags?"

"Yeah, he's already sorted that out, too," Finnick said. "He's requested that I mentor him. Mags will mentor you."

"He asked for you specifically?" Athena asked, raising her eyebrows. "Why? Is it because - he never seemed to value Mags' advice all that much."

"I suspect that's part of it," Finnick replied. "But - uh - it's not everything. He's under the impression that my mentoring is a little biased."

"Meaning?" she said, crossing her arms, though she felt she had an idea.

"He essentially said that I like you better than I do him and it affected the way I mentored the two of you," Finnick blurted our, as though it was better to say quickly, and now determinedly not looking at her.

"What? How?" Athena said. "We've been coached together, you've been giving us the exact same advice!"

"That's what I said," he said. "He seemed to disagree. He'd like it better if I spent more time focusing on mentoring him."

"And you're just going with it?" Athena raised her eyebrows. "Just like that?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Finnick said in a would-be offhand way. "Unless you've got some argument to being mentored by Mags - "

"Of course I don't," Athena said. "I want to hear what she has to say. But as much as you annoy me and I want Mags' advice, you're my mentor, too. I want to hear what you have to say, too."

"It's not like I'm never going to see you at all," Finnick said, then moved closer to her, lowering his voice and saying, "If you find you can't sleep, the roof is a very good place to clear your head."

Understanding flooded through her. She nodded once. Just then, Mags seemed to materialize before them. Both Athena and Finnick opened their mouths to ask what was wrong, but before they could, Mags grabbed Athena's hand and whisked her away without a word.

"Uh - is there a reason for this?" Athena asked.

Mags didn't respond, leading her down the hall silently. As they turned the corner, Athena glanced over her shoulder, saw Kai approaching Finnick, and understood. Kai seeing her and Finnick talking privately wouldn't have helped matters.

Mags leg the way to Athena's chambers, where they went and sat across from each other on her bed.

"So," Athena said, "as I hear it, it's you and me now."

Mags nodded once solemnly.

"That's fine by me," Athena said. Silence fell between them, before Athena looked at her hesitantly and said, "So - uh - what do you think my odds are?"

Mags stared at her, raising her eyebrows.

"In the arena, I mean," Athena elaborated, a little awkwardly. "I know you've done this a long time. You much have some idea - ?"

"That's... up to you."

"Okay, fair enough," Athena conceded. "I'm only my mindset and what I make of myself. Still, I'm - I'm not completely hopeless, am I?"

Mags shook her head and said, "You are... skilled... smart... determined. All... useful... in... arena..."

"Thanks," Athena smiled weakly. "But is there anything I should be working on? What's my worst aspect?"

Mags was silent for a moment, looking thoughtful. Then, she said, "Emotions... don't... let... get... better... you..."

"That's probably a fair assessment," Athena admitted, though she was thinking she had her work cut out for her if she had to learn how to turn off her emotions.

When it was approaching ten, Athena and Mags both left her chambers, heading for the elevators. She said nothing to Kai, he said nothing to her, and that was how it went while in the training rooms, as well. If that was how he wanted things to be while they were in training, then fine.

While Athena was trying her hand at sword fighting, Rowan Lindell came to stand beside her, his own sword in his hands. For a moment, neither of them said anything, simply practicing in silence. Athena really wasn't too bad with a sword, except she kept forgetting it wasn't a spear and holding it the wrong way. Other than that, though, she was doing fine. Rowan was better at it than her, though, holding it was confidence and swinging it with relative ease.

"You have a shadow, you know," he said finally, his tone light and conversational. "Look behind you."

Athena glanced behind her furtively, already knowing what she would find. As expected, Marjorie Hopper was standing across the gymnasium, half-hidden behind a pillar, watching Athena with wide eyes. Athena had noticed her doing this both on the first and second days of training. It unsettled her, but she wasn't sure what to do about it without causing a disturbance, which was the last thing she wanted.

"I've noticed," Athena said simply, looking away again and shrugging.

"You two have history or something?" Rowan asked.

"No," she said, snorting at the idea. "How could we? We didn't know the other existed until this week."

Rowan shrugged. "A lot can happen in a week."

_You're telling me._

"I don't know," she said, lunging with her sword to hit the target dummy in the gut. "Maybe she's marking me down as first on her kill list."

Athena and Rowan both glanced back at her. Marjorie was still standing where she was, watching Athena, until her district partner came along and dragged her away, exasperation in his blue-grey eyes. Athena suspected they were playing up their weaknesses and hiding their strengths, because they had to at least be halfway decent at  _something_ , yet every time she had seen them, they were failing miserably at whatever it was they were doing.

"Somehow, I doubt that," Rowan said when they turned to face each other again.

Athena simply shrugged, turning away to face the target dummy again and taking a moment to correct her form.

"I guess we'll see in the arena."

At lunch, Athena sat with the other Careers again. Both she and Kai acted outgoing and confident, but barely spoke to each other. When they did have to acknowledge each other, though, they were civil enough. Once they were in the Training rooms again, however, they went right back to ignoring each other. Athena spent the rest of the afternoon improving her abilities with a knife, practicing making different snares, practicing her climbing and jumping abilities, and learning the correct first-aid procedures for many common injuries and illnesses when not given many resources.

Dinner was a quiet affair that night. As Athena and Kai were now being coached separately, they could no longer all discuss tactics together. Once Athena and Kai finished recounting what had happened during the day, there was nothing lest to discuss. With the exception of Alayne's brave attempt to make small talk (Alayne Stentor was a lot of things, but Athena had to admire her unwillingness to give up sometimes), they ate in silence.

The next morning, Athena ate very little, as it felt like chewing on rubber. Today was the day that each of the tributes would have a private audience was the Gamemakers. Depending on how impressed the Gamemakers were with what they did during the audience, they would be given a score out of twelve that would be broadcasted on television. The scores were important, playing a big role in who got sponsors and who didn't. Athena had already spoken to Mags, who thankfully made it very clear what she needed to do.

"Use... spear... give... everything... have... don't hold... back."

She thought that would be easy enough to do. Athena had also spoken to Finnick, late last night on the roof, who had mainly had one piece of advice for her.

"Now's not the time to hold back or be modest, okay? You get high scores by showing off, so do that. Make sure they remember you."

Still, Athena was so nervous she felt she was liable to vomit or collapse or both any moment. She tried to hide it, though, not wanting to appear weak. In spite of the tension between her and Kai, she was a little relieved when she looked over at her and saw he looked just as nervous as she felt.

The first few hours of training went by impossibly quickly, and soon it was lunch. Athena forced herself to eat more than she did at breakfast, not wanting to hear any comments from the Careers if she acted differently in any way. After lunch was when people started getting called down for the evaluation. It went in order of district; first the male tribute, then the female tribute. Bastion Silver was first to go, then Sapphire Satin, then onwards. Being from District Four, Athena wouldn't have to wait very long to be called down. She didn't know if that was a relief to her or if it only made her feel worse.

When Kai's name was called, he stood to leave silently (they were the only Careers left at the table), but Athena said, "Good luck."

Kai looked a little surprised, but recovered quickly. "Thanks. You too."

She just nodded and watched him walk away. To distract herself from the overwhelming fact that she was next, Athena wondered what Kai would be doing for the Gamemakers. He was best with knives and a bow and arrow. If he really didn't have any secret skills, surely that was what he would showcase.

After fifteen minutes (she noted each evaluation seemed to take fifteen minutes, that was how long she needed to be in there for, that was how long she had to impress them), her name was called. She paused, taking a moment to make sure she was steady enough. Figuring she was as steady as she would get, Athena got to her feet and walked into the gymnasium. Her heart sank when she saw the Gamemakers. Athena had heard rumors of the Gamemakers becoming bored, disinterested, as the evaluations went on, no longer paying much attention, if any. Athena had though, though, that since she was only the eighth tribute, and from a Career District, they might pay her more attention. That didn't seem to be the case at all, though. Most of them weren't even looking at her, talking amiably amongst themselves. They all seemed tipsy off the apparently limitless amount of wine at their disposal, too, which wouldn't help. They all looked restless, too, as though they wanted nothing more than to go home. This grated at her nerves; as though  _she_ wanted to be here, as though  _she_ wanted anything other than to go home to her family. Still, she forced herself to remain calm. There was nothing to do but proceed as normal.

Athena walked forward and picked up the spear she'd used when she was in the simulation. She walked forward to one of the target dummies, stabbing it in each of its vital organs at top speed, finishing by severing its head with ease. She glanced over at the Gamemakers. Some looked impressed, nodding approvingly at her, but most still weren't paying attention, talking amongst themselves. Trying not to feel discouraged, Athena walked over to the targets, stood about ten feet away, and threw her spear. It hit the bullseye. Athena grabbed the spear again and moved further back than before, throwing the spear again. It hit the center of the bullseye. When she saw the Gamemakers still weren't really paying attention, she started getting a little desperate. Athena grabbed the spear again and moved back as far as she could get from the target, until her back was closer to the wall opposite, before throwing the spear again. It hit just off center of the bullseye. She looked to the Gamemakers again, certain that must have made a good impression. She had garnered a little more attention, but it went away when one of them started pouring more wine for everyone.

Very suddenly, she was furious. Furious that she was forced to do this, furious that she was being sent into an arena to kill or be killed, furious that these people weren't even giving her the time of day. Her life was on the line, all of the tributes' lives were, and they didn't have the decency to stop and pay attention for fifteen minutes? Her heart pounded in her chest, and she felt her face heat up.

Without thinking, Athena grabbed three of the target dummies and placed them side by side on one of the metal tables, noting that the pure white fabric of the dummies' skins would make a nice, absorbent canvas. She strode over to the camouflage station and grabbed the first thing she saw, a container filled with mud. Using the mud, she finger-painted a few letters along what would be the clavicle of each of the dummies. She ten took a length of rope, cutting and tying them strategically until she had three nooses. She wrapped each noose around the necks of the dummies, tightening them accordingly, before dragging them to the middle of the room. Using one of the chinning bars, she hung the dummies carefully side by side by their necks, so that, together, the letters on their chest spelt out:  _CAPITOL_

The Gamemakers who had been bothering to pay attention were the first to notice. They all let out gasps and small shrieks, and soon she had the attention of all the Gamemakers for once. Athena wasn't finished, though. She grabbed three spears and stood as far as she could get behind the three dummies, facing the Gamemakers. She threw the first spear, sending it right through the first dummy's gut. She threw the second spear at the middle dummy, piercing it right where its heart would've been. She threw the final spear at the third dummy, piercing its head.

Athena strode over to stand next to the three dummies. The Gamemakers, who had let out little gasps and shrieks while she threw her spears, were now alert, on their feet and staring at her with wide eyes. Athena clicked her heels together like a soldier and saluted them sarcastically. With that, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the gymnasium without being dismissed.

 

*

 

"You did  _what?_ "

"I - uh - took three of the target dummies and - "

"I don't want to hear it!"

Athena closed her mouth and decided firmly against pointed out that Alayne had specifically  _asked_ to hear it.

Athena, Alayne, Kai, Mags, and Finnick were all in the sitting room, discussing her and Kai's evaluations - or, rather, just talking about Athena's. Kai had made the unfortunate mistake of asking about her evaluation before she could ask about his, and from the (admittedly expected) look of fury on Alayne's face, it was clear they wouldn't get to his evaluation any time soon - if at all. Mags was watching the events unfold with an unreadable expression on her face. The strangest thing about all of this, though, was that Finnick, for all the stress that he had put on her to do well on this evaluation, did not seem angry or even upset about what she had done. Instead, he looked up at her from where he was lounding beside Mags on the sofa, staring like he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing, a wide, even delighted smile slowly spreading across his face.

Alayne, however, was probably angry enough for the both of them.

"Do you even realize - don't you  _understand_ how important this is? Your score on your evaluation could make or break your chances in the Games! If your score is low, so is your chance of getting any sponsors. And then what will you do? What will you do when you have some easily treatable injury when nobody sponsors you to send you the medicine? How about when it gets infected? Do you know how many tributes I've had - all much more interesting and skilled than you, might I add - that ended up dying in the games because they had no sponsors to support them when they needed it? Don't you see what you've done?"

Athena wanted to tell Alayne that there was no point in berating her about this. There was no need for Alayne to waste her breath on it, because Athena had realized the moment she was inside the elevators that what she had done was positively, unbelievably, unarguably, irredeemably stupid. At first she had thought she was bound to be arrested, executed, made into an Avox, something, but enough time had passed without anything happened. Still, Athena didn't dare feel relieved. There was still plenty of time for her to be punished for her actions. Even if they didn't do anything to her, there was still her family back in District Four, unaware of what she had done, innocent... the very thought of the Capitol hurting her family for what she had done pierced her heart with fear. At the very least, they would give her a pitiful score, ensure she got no sponsors, and make survival in the arena that much more difficult for her.

"I  _understand_ just fine," Athena said, folding her arms and trying to keep defiance from her tone and a scowl from her face, trying to stay composed. "It was the Gamemakers that didn't understand. The evaluation is supposed to affect my chances of making it out of the games alive and they don't even have the decency to pay attention?"

"The whole  _point_ is that you're supposed to make them pay attention!" she burst out.

"I did make them pay attention," Athena pointed out, vaguely aware that she was just being difficult at this point.

"By making them  _like_ you! You're supposed to get them to pay attention by making them like you! Not trying to - to  _rebel_ against the Capitol! For God's sake, I know you can be charming and pleasant. I know you can, I've seen it! Why did you decide to just  _stop_ the moment it got important?"

Athena decided against saying anything. This only seemed to anger Alayne more, for she turned her back away from her angrily, sniffing disdainfully. She seemed to remember Kai was still in the room then, because she turned to him and hurled accusingly at him, "And I hope  _you_ haven't gone and done anything stupid?"

"Uh - I don't think so?" Kai replied, looking reluctant to fall victim to Alayne's rage. Athena couldn't blame him; the Games were already scary enough. "I threw around the weights for a while. They didn't pay attention at first, but one of the weights crashed into something and made a really loud noise that got their attention. I made some joke at that that got them laughing. After that, I just threw knives and used the bow and arrow until they told me I could go."

"See!  _See!_ " Alayne said, gesturing aggressively towards Kai as she looked at Athena. "That's how you do it. That's how you get their attention!"

Again, she decided against saying anything, but she hardly thought it was really necessary to mention that Kai had a better chance of making it out alive than her.

"And what are you smiling about?" Alayne snapped at Finnick, who was still grinning at Athena in that delighted sort of way that she didn't quite understand. He hadn't stopped staring at her since she told her story, which she was extremely aware of, but she thought she was doing a fair job of acting like she wasn't.

"I'm smiling, Alayne," Finnick said pleasantly, still looking at Athena, "because it's dawning on me that Athena here learned way more from me than she let on."

Alayne stared at him in utter disbelief. Even Athena had to look at him in surprise. "You're telling me you  _approve_ of this?"

"You're telling me you don't?" he countered.

"Why? How?" Alayne said, but before Finnick or anyone could reply, Alayne threw her hands in the air in exasperation and said, "Never mind! I don't want to hear it!"

With that, she stormed angrily from the room, pressed a button on the elevator panel furiously, and was still fuming when the doors slid shut and she disappeared from view.

There were quite possibly a thousand things any of them could have said, but none of them said anything. Instead, Athena sat down on the sofa near (but not too close) to Kai, clutching a pillow to her chest. At the same time, Mags tapped Finnick once on the shoulder and then got up, walking over to the balcony. Finnick finally tore his gaze from Athena (Athena didn't know if she was relieved or disappointed), traces of that same smile on his face, and followed Mags to where she stood.

Athena glanced over at Kai out of the corner of her eye. "I'm - uh - glad things turned out well for you."

"Thank you," he said awkwardly, because nothing about this conversation was easy, because it was hard to talk with someone when both parties know that one person had the better chance of survival than the other. "I'm sorry things didn't quite... go as planned for you."

She hadn't really had a  _real_ plan, in all honestly, but it was nice of him to say, so she decided against saying it. Looking away from him, she said, "Yeah, thanks."

Soon, it seemed Kai couldn't quite take the awkward atmosphere, for he murmured something about how he'd be back soon, got up from the sofa, and walked away. Just as he left, Mags returned to the sofa, sitting down beside her.

"So, what do you think?" Athena said quietly to Mags. "About my evaluation, I mean. I never got to ask in the middle of all of Alayne's - well, you know."

Mags gave her a small smile and said, "Not end of... world..."

"Still not very good," Athena pointed out.

"Could be better," Mags agreed, and Athena almost laughed.

"What do you think's going to happen?" Athena asked. "This affect my odds?"

"A little," Mags replied, holding up her index finger and her thumb a fraction apart for emphasis. "Still up... you..."

It didn't do much, but it  _was_ something that Mags didn't think she was hopeless. Athena's eyes drifted over to where Finnick stood, leaning against the railing of the balcony and watching them carefully. When they made eye contact, he crooked a finger, indicating for her to come to him. She gave him a look, but he didn't lower his gaze. Finally, she sighed, stood and walked over to him, leaving Mags on the sofa.

"If it helps at all," Finnick murmured to her, as she joined him on the balcony, "I think Alayne was overreacting."

"Mags thought so, too," Athena said.

"Mags is very smart," Finnick stated.

"But  _how_ can it be an overreaction?" she said, sighing. "It doesn't get much more anti-Capitol than what I did. The only place to go up from there is an actual uprising against the Capitol."

"Look, are you  _planning_ to start an uprising against the Capitol?"

"It wasn't really on my agenda, no," Athena replied. "How could I?"

"Exactly," he said. "The Gamemakers know that, and they know you know that. Which means you're fine."

"So," Athena said slowly, "they're not going to try to arrest me or execute me or anything?"

"They definitely won't execute you," Finnick said firmly. "They could arrest you if they really wanted to, but I doubt they would at this stage, they need a girl tribute from District Four. They'd had to redo the Reaping, which they  _could_ do, but then your replacement would miss out on the opening ceremonies and training and the Capitol wouldn't think that's any fun."

She had to admit Finnick had a point. What really seemed to matter in the end was that the Capitol was happy and entertained. Not the lives or the safety of the people in the districts, only the satisfaction of the Capitol.

"And they won't make me into an Avox?" she added.

"They could," he conceded. "But your interview with Caesar in two days won't be very fun to watch if you can't talk."

"And they won't - they won't try to hurt my family?" Athena asked anxiously.

"Why would they?" he shrugged. "The only way they'd bring your family into it is if it was considered a public threat to Panem, and the only way for it to be a public threat is if the public  _found out_ about it. And there's no way for the public  _to_ find out since what happens in the evaluation is supposed to be a secret. As long as it stays between us and the Gamemakers - and it will - then you're fine."

Relief flooded through her. Finnick's words made sense. The Capitol wasn't planning to harm her quite yet. Most of all, though, her family was out of harm's way, and as long as they remained that way, Athena could endure what came next.

"I imagine my score's not going to be very good, though," she pointed out.

"Maybe not," he shrugged. "But people only really remember the good scores, anyway. Nobody's going to look at you and remember that you got a three or a four or something. There have been victors with bad scores before, and they've gotten sponsors, too. You're just lucky you've got brilliant, smooth-talking mentors to seal sponsorships for you."

Athena rolled her eyes, smiling at the comment, but said doubtfully, "Has there ever been a victor with a score of zero? Has anyone ever gotten a zero in general? I think that'll be hard to forget. Not even the most brilliant of smooth-talking mentors can seal sponsorships with a score that low."

"First of all, never doubt your mentors," Finnick said, holding up a finger, "and two, I'm not even so sure your score will be so low. Look, at the end of the day, the Gamemakers want to put on a good show. Their goal is to entertain. If you've proven anything, it's that you're entertaining to watch. Your goal was to make them remember you, and believe me, I doubt they're going to be forgetting you any time soon."

Athena cracked a smile at that. Somehow, Mags and Finnick managed to do the impossible; they found a way to cheer her up. "Yeah, probably not."

"What did they say?" he asked, a little eagerly. "After you did it?"

"They didn't say anything - or maybe they did, I was moving too fast to give them a chance, and then I left without being dismissed, so," she said with a small shrug. "Their reactions were pretty funny. They kept letting out these really dramatic gasps like I was stabbing them instead of the dummies. A few of them even screamed. I don't even want to know what the other tributes thought was going on. There was this one man who spilled wine all over himself, and he'd taken his robe off, so he got it all over his white shirt. And there was this one woman, I think her robes are too long for her, so while they were all getting to their feet, she tripped over them and fell flat on her face."

It got progressively more difficult to recount all of this, because Finnick started laughing, and once he started, she couldn't help herself, laughing right along with him. It was insane to Athena that she was laughing about something she thought she would lose her tongue over, but she also wasn't complaining.

"And what did you say afterwards?" he asked through his laughter.

"I - uh - I didn't really say anything," she admitted, grinning. "I just sort of saluted them and walked away."

He burst out laughing again. His laughter was nice, pleasant and infectious, making it hard for her  _not_ to laugh with him.

"That's classic!" he insisted, grinning down at her. "You're exactly what we need more of."

Athena wasn't really sure who he meant by "we." If it was just him and Mags, or the Capitol, or maybe District Four, or if he thought society in general would be better if there were more of Athena Maris. Regardless, it was an unexpected thing to hear from him, but she couldn't pretend she wasn't slightly delighted by the thought.

Alayne didn't come back for supper. Apparently, she couldn't stand to eat at the same table as Athena after her stung during her evaluations. Athena wondered vaguely where she was, but also figured it didn't really matter. She would come back soon. Whether she liked it or not, she was still their escort.

After dinner, they moved to the sitting room to watch the scores being announced. Just as they all settled onto the sofa, Alayne came back into the room, followed by Tatiana and Syrio. There was still plenty of room on the sofa, but the three of them took one look at Athena and settled into armchairs and loveseats, apparently unable to sit on the same piece of furniture as her. It seemed Alayne had filled Tatiana and Syrio in on Athena's evaluation. While Alayne simply looked furious, there was a flicker of fear on the faces of the stylists, as though expecting her to hang and put a spear through  _them_ , too.

"You know I don't really want to cause the Capitol any hard," Athena tried to explain a little wearily. "I was just - "

Neither of them would have it, though, immediately putting their heads together and whispering about something she couldn't make out. Defeated and left to wonder if this would affect how they acted as her stylists, Athena leaned back in her seat, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. To her left, she saw Finnick shaking with silent fits of laughter, and elbowed him lightly.

"It's not funny," she whispered to him.

"Yeah, it is," he replied, grinning.

Athena shook her head, about to reply, when the scores started to come on. First they showed the name of the tribute along with a photo, then flashed their score below it. Unsurprisingly, the other Careers scored in the eight-to-ten range. The tributes from District Three, though, didn't score higher than a five.

Her heart rate spiked dramatically when it was time for District Four. Kai, as she had expected, did well, scoring a nine. But as they switched to her name and photo, she forgot nearly everything Mags and Finnick had told her earlier. There was no way she'd get a good score, she'd be lucky to scrape up a two or three, and then who would want to sponsor her? Especially with someone like Kai with his nine as her district partner, there was no way - 

Except then they were flashing the number ten on the screen. They were announcing to the country that she got a ten. Silence fell upon the room. Apparently, it was as unbelievable to everyone else as it was to her.

" _Ten?_ " she repeated, shocked. "They're giving me a  _ten? How?_ Is there some sort of mistake?"

"Yes, how?" Alayne demanded.

"There's no mistake," Finnick said confidently. "I told you, they liked your attitude. All the Gamemakers want is to put on a good show, they need players with a little spirit, who bring in some heat themselves, that way they don't have to make it interesting all by themselves."

Slowly, Athena started to relax. She got a ten. She wasn't doomed. She had a chance.

Athena and Kai congratulated each other, though it was a little awkward. They had both done well, but neither of them really knew what it would mean for the other.

They watched the rest of the scores together, though Athena was so relieved it was harder for her to focus. She noted that most of the others only average a five, except for a few exceptions. Cara Savera of District Six manages a seven. Rowan Lindell and Amber Cedara of District Seven both score an eight. The siblings from District Nine score a six and seven respectively. Angus Keld scored a seven. Marjorie Hopper and Will Pinegrove ( _Will_ , she thought,  _not Phil or Bill_ ) scored a seven and eight respectively, proving her theory that they were only pretending to be terrible at everything in front of the others.

"Oh, this is wonderful!" said Tatiana when the broadcast was over, rushing over to hug Athena; evidently, if the Gamemakers were giving her a score that high, then they must think Athena didn't intend to harm the Capitol, which seemed to tell Tatiana that she didn't need to be scared of her anymore. "You've made such a good impression, and it only gets better from here! Just  _wait_ until you see the dress for your interview!"

"Back to mermaids?" Athena asked, a little wearily.

" _Inspired_ by mermaids, but not quite!" Tatiana replied, winking. "Oh, you'll  _love_ it!"

She wasn't entirely certain of that, but Tatiana and Syrio had proved themselves during the opening ceremonies, so she only smiled and said, "I can't wait."

"I know it's been an exciting day, but don't get too confident," Finnick said, getting to his feet and clapping his hands together. "Your interviews with Caesar Flickerman are in two days, and you're going to have your work cut out for you getting ready for that. Your interviews are your time to make the Capitol fall in love with you, to get them invested in you, to want to keep you alive.

"So off to bed, you're going to want to be well-rested these next two days," Finnick insisted then checked the clock, his brow slightly furrowed. "Now, I have business to attend to tonight, so if anyone was thinking about bothered me with any late night questions," he said, moving inside the elevator, "don't."

Athena got the message pretty clearly. He would be gone all night. There would be no late night conversation on the roof for them. She would never admit it, but she felt rather disappointed.

"What business are you attending to?" Kai asked curiously, exactly what Athena had been wondering these past few days.

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies," Finnick replied, winking, as the elevator doors slid closed and he disappeared from view.

Athena looked around at the room; from Kai, who looked as confused as she felt; to Alayne, who looked strangely upset and a little angry; to Tatiana and Syrio, who were both smirking; to Mags, who seemed to understand it all, but simply shook her head when Athena shot her a curious look.

"Well done... but Finnick's right... busy days... get rest."

Athena had to admit she was exhausted. The stress of the day had been draining, and now that she knew she wasn't immediately doomed, she was desperate for some sleep. Once in the privacy of her chambers and burrowed down under the cover, she drifted off quickly, the number ten still flashing behind her eyelids.


	6. VI

**VI**

 

Athena woke up the next morning to the sound of Alayne banging on the door, singing cheerfully of another "big, big, big day!" ahead. Athena stayed lying in bed for a time, though, and realized with a jolt that tonight was the first night that she hadn't been awakened too early by nightmares. Wondering if that was some sort of good omen, she rolled out of bed and showered quickly, careful about which buttons she hit, before heading to the dining room. Athena served herself some of the lamb stew with dried plums quickly, before sitting down beside Mags.

"So, what's the schedule, then?" Athena asked curiously. "Or am I not allowed to ask since - you know, we're not being coached together?"

Finnick shrugged. "No harm in telling you both now. Means we can get right to work. Now, as you know, Kai's being coached by me, and Athena, you're being coached by Mags, so we'll stay by your sides all day. But Alayne also gets four hours with each of you to teach you etiquette. The other four hours is when me or Mags teaches you two about content. Athena, you start with Alayne for the first four hours."

" _Four hours?_ " Kai repeated, as stunned as she felt. "What kind of etiquette takes four  _hours_ to learn?"

"Oh, trust me," Alayne said, "sometimes four hours doesn't seem like enough."

Alayne looked directly at Athena as she said that. Even though it had all worked out in the end, Athena suspected that Alayne still hadn't entirely forgiven her for her stunt during her evaluation. Still, Athena couldn't imagine what Alayne had to teach her that could take that long to perfect, but as it turned out, Alayne had her working down to the very last minute. Athena, Mags, and Alayne all went to Athena's chambers directly after breakfast, where Alayne then put Athena in a full-length gown and high-heeled shoes, instructing her to walk. Athena's only consolation was that this wasn't the outfit she would be wearing for the actual interview, because walking in it was a disaster. The shoes were the worst part; Athena had worn high heels before, for formal occasions at the academy and even one or two Reapings, and on those occasions, they have never posed any real problem. But Athena had never ones with heels  _this_ high, ones that left Athena to wobble around helplessly on the balls of her feet. Her struggling in the shoes was made even more humiliating by the fact that Alayne ran around in even higher heels full-time, yet Athena could barely take three steps in hers. The gown didn't help matters. It was so long that it kept tangling around in her shoes, so that Athena had to hitch it up, only then Alayne swooped down on her like a hawk, smacking her hands away and crying out, "Not above the ankle!" Mastering the art of walking was potentially one of the most difficult things she had done since coming to the Capitol, filled with tripping and falling and a wide variety of curse words leaving Athena's mouth.

"You better hope that this part of you doesn't come out during the interviews!" Alayne insisted, covering her ears with her hands and looking scandalized. "You swear like a sailor!"

"You clearly haven't spoken with any sailors, if you think  _I'm_ bad - " Athena began, but stopped at the look Mags shot her.

It didn't get all that much easier after she conquered walking. There was also sitting and posture. Alayne certainly didn't seem to enjoy it, but she corrected Athena's posture nearly every five minutes, making her sit up straight, forcing her shoulders back and her chin up, nagging her to  _sit like a lady._

"Honestly, Athena, if you don't do something about that slouch, you'll be a hunchback before you're forty," Alayne said, clucking her tongue disapprovingly.

Athena didn't know if that was one of Alayne's thoughtless comments or her way of showing that she believed in Athena enough to think that she would even  _make_ it to forty. Before she could ask, though, they moved onto eye contact - there was still that nasty habit of looking to her upper left whenever she lied that Finnick pointed out a few days ago, and apparently she had another habit of avoiding eye contact when she wasn't happy about the subject being discussed. Then there was hand gestures. Apparently Athena used her hands too much when she spoke when she was upset or frustrated, the gestures always wide and aggressive and a little frantic, and otherwise, she didn't use her hands at all. Last was smiling, which was mostly just about smiling  _more_. Alayne must have made her say over a hundred banal phrases starting with a smile, while smiling, or ending with a smile.

"You have such a pretty smile," Alayne said in exasperation, sighing. " _Why_ aren't you letting it come out more?"

Athena resisted the urge to point out that it wasn't easy to smile very prettily when she didn't  _mean_ it. Still, in the end she managed it, perfecting a bright, winning smile that both Mags and Alayne found satisfactory. The muscles in her cheeks were twitching from overuse, but she still called it a victory. Though she had mastered every area that Alayne wanted to teach her, they were both rather cross with each other, Athena reaffirmed of her believe that Alayne was shallow and thoughtless, Alayne reaffirmed of her belief that Athena was just so  _difficult_.

"I really do wish you good luck in finding a good angle for her to work with, Mags!" Alayne huffed, as they made their way to the dining room for lunch, Athena still in her gown and heels as extra practice. "I'm excited to see how you manage to make such a  _hostile_ young lady into something  _likeable!_ "

Athena rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to retort - then took one look at Mags and stopped, biting her tongue. Finnick and Kai seemed cheerful enough; at the very least, they weren't as irritated as Athena and Alayne. All in all, Athena wasn't very disappointed when Alayne disappeared with the boys and Athena and Mags were left to return to her chambers on their own.

Immediately, Athena asked if she could change out of the gown and heels, but Mags shook her head. "Helps give... better feeling of atmosphere... interview."

Mags did have a fair point, so Athena kept the outfit on, sitting down on the edge of her bed, keeping in mind Alayne's tips about posture. Mags remained standing however, staring at Athena thoughtfully, as though examining her.

"What is it?" Athena asked finally, slightly unnerved by her unwavering stare.

"Figuring out... angle," Mags murmured. "How you... presented... interview. Charming... aloof... fierce... sexy... many options."

"I'm pretty sure sexy is off the table for me," Athena said, raising her eyebrows.

Mags simply shrugged. "Nothing... off... table... already loved in the Capitol... made... good impression in... opening ceremonies... high score in evaluation..."

"So I need to keep that up," Athena said. "How?"

"Let's try everything... see... works."

And so it began. They started with sexy. After a time, Athena mastered a walk that she thought was sexy enough, but when she tried to mimic that low, seductive purr that Finnick used sometimes, she either ended up laughing or making a fool of herself or both. They tried cocky next, and though Athena was fairly confident in her abilities, she just didn't have the arrogance to make it work. The natural solution seemed to be to go with being humble; she was modest and self-deprecating enough, but she also had to gush about how  _wonderful_ the Capitol was in comparison to her quaint, boring life in District Four, which she couldn't do convincingly. They tried to do ferocious, which Athena didn't think she was too bad at, but according to Mags, she was too vulnerable to pull it off. Athena suggested they try to make her meek and innocent if she was so vulnerable, but Mags shook her head, insisting that Athena was too strong and too competent for that. They tried playing up her sense of humor, and from the way Mags laughed at the things she said, remembering all the times she made the other sailors and fishermen on  _The Adventurer_ laugh (which was a hard thing to achieve, as they were all difficult to impress), Athena supposed she was funny enough; the only problem was that in order for being funny to be her angle, she had to have this lightness about her the whole time, which she just couldn't manage. She could make some of her answers vague enough to be aloof and mysterious, but she wasn't brooding or moody enough to truly make it work.

The further along they went, the worse she felt, but not even just for herself. For Mags, too, who kept trying her hardest to transform her into someone likeable, to no avail.

"Maybe Alayne was right," Athena sighed, which was probably the first time those words had come out of her mouth in that order. "About me not being likeable, I mean."

Mags shook her head, though, apparently not discouraged at all. "You're well-rounded... just need to find... combination of everything... works for you..."

Alayne, it seemed, was not the only one with admirable determination. Athena really had to admire Mags' perseverance, too.

In the end, though, it seemed that Athena was no one at all. Mags was still confident that Athena would do fine in her interview, so long as she found a balance that worked. Athena wasn't sure it would be so easy, but she was glad that Mags had so much faith in her. At the very least, today had been a success because she had learned some sign language; Mags sometimes slipped into it subconsciously when she spoke, and Athena stored the gestures and signals in her mind for future reference.

That night, sleep was even more difficult than usual. Eventually, she gave up on trying, sitting up in bed, letting out a sigh. Athena decided to go up to the roof; regardless of whether Finnick would be there to offer her advice, it would do her some good to be up there for a while, clear her head. Throwing on a sweater and shoes, Athena shuffled out of her chambers, tiptoeing silently around the suite to the elevator as not to wake anyone up.

When she reached the rooftop, making her way towards the gardens, she realized that someone was already there, their back to her. Athena tensed up, debating whether she should back away silently, when she saw it was only Finnick. Relieved, she walked over towards him. Seemingly hearing the sound of her footsteps, he turned to face her.

"There you are," he said, crossing his arms and leaning against the bark of one of the trees. "I was wondering if you'd show up."

"You were waiting for me?" she said, raising her eyebrows, moving to stand on a nearby bench so that she stood over him for once.

"Well, I wasn't up here specifically just for you," he said. "But you were a contributing factor."

"I'll take that as a compliment," she decided. "Did Mags tell you about how coaching went?"

"She did," he nodded.

"So you know that I'm hopeless?"

"I wouldn't call it hopeless," Finnick said. "And neither would Mags."

"Nothing we did worked!" she said, frustrated. Then, she said, a little hesitantly, "What's Kai's angle? Am I allowed to ask?"

"Funny but ferocious," Finnick replied. "As in, he can rip your head off but he can also make you laugh while he does it."

"See, I can't be carefree enough to be funny, and apparently I'm too vulnerable to do ferocious," she said, as though to prove that she was, in fact, hopeless. "I can't do any of the angles right!"

"You could try being yourself," he suggested lightly.

Athena shot him a look. "Like that'll work."

"Well, why not?"

"They won't  _like_ me as myself," she insisted.

"Says who?" he retorted.

Athena was quiet for a moment, staring at him, before saying grudgingly, crossing her arms, "Alayne says I'm hostile."

" _You?_ " Finnick said sarcastically, feigning shock. "Hostile?  _Never._ "

"You're hilarious," she deadpanned. "Really. Just an absolute comedian."

"Come on, you have to admit you kind of have a hostile streak," Finnick insisted, grinning. "Especially with Alayne. And with me, actually. Alayne and I should start a support group - "

"This is a hostile environment!" Athena said defensively, gesturing around at the rooftop. "There's only so many ways you can react to it!"

"I'm not saying I blame you," Finnick said, laughing at her reaction and holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm just saying you can't deny she has a point. It's not like you're always hostile. Even if you are, you can use it to your advantage."

"How?" Athena said doubtfully.

"Look, Athena," he said, taking a step towards her. "Do you want to know  _why_ the Capitol still can't get over me after all these years when they usually have the attention span of six year-olds?"

"Your incredible sense of humility?" she said dryly.

"Close, but not quite," Finnick said. "It's because I didn't just stick to just one angle. I didn't just do sexy or funny or ferocious or any one thing. I was a little but of everything."

Athena thought back to watching his interviews on the tribute train. She realized he was right; while the other tributes all only played up one part of their personality, Finnick had managed to juggle everything it was that made a person likeable to the Capitol.

"Mags said that you can do a little of everything," he continued. "That just means you have to take what works for you from all those different aspects. Here, I'll pretend to be Caesar, the plants are your audience, you be you. I'll ask you questions."

"Questions about what?" Athena asked.

"The kinds of stuff you'll be asked about in your interview."

"Which are...?" she persisted.

"You know," Finnick said, "the deep stuff."

"The deep stuff?" Athena repeated, snorting derisively.

"Yeah," he nodded, unabashed. "In order for the Capitol to love you, they need to know you - or at least, think they know you. They know that you're pretty, they know that you're good at smiling and waving, and they know that you impressed the Gamemakers somehow, and that's all good, but it's not enough to make them love you."

"Okay," she said slowly, trying to remain unaffected by him calling her pretty. "Like what? What exactly classifies as deep stuff?"

"Like - what's your favourite colour?"

"Oh, too personal, sorry," she said, shaking her head, and Finnick laughed.

"See, I just learned you're funny," he said brightly. "The Capitol likes funny."

"Doesn't everyone like funny?"

"You'd be surprised," he replied matter-of-factly. "But really, what's your favourite colour?"

"Blue," she replied, after a moment of thought. "I know it's very typical, but the blue means the sea, and the sea means home. What's yours?"

"You know the colour the sea gets during sunset or sunrise?" he asked. "That red-orange-blue colour that sometimes makes it look like the sea's on fire?" he said, and she nodded in recognition, having worked early mornings and late evenings on the docks. "That's it for me. See, we're making progress!"

"Is Caesar Flickerman really going to ask me what my favourite colour is?" Athena asked.

"Probably not," Finnick admitted. "But - hey, don't look at me like that! I'm getting you warmed up!"

"I've had eight hours to get warmed up," she said, raising her eyebrows.

"Fine, then, we'll get to it," he said, raising his hands in surrender. "What do you miss most that you left behind in District Four?"

"My family," Athena said immediately.

"Expand on that," Finnick advised. "They want to know you, and if your family is what you miss the most out of everything back in Four, they'll want to know it."

Suddenly, she felt furious. Furious that she was here doing this, furious that there was only another day until she was in the arena and yet she would be spending it wearing pretty clothes and answering stupid questions, furious that they had to do any of this to prove to these people that their lives had value, as if that shouldn't just be known universally. Most of all, she was furious that anyone in the Capitol felt entitled enough, felt that they had any right at all to know about her. Furious that they thought they could have her past when they were already taking her future from her.

Still she knew Finnick had a point, so she said, "My mother, my father, my younger sister, Calypso - she's nine."

"Better," Finnick said, "but you've got to put more emotion into it. Either that or you have to talk about how determined you are to get back to them. What are they like?"

"My mother's very kind," Athena said. "She taught me to be bold, and brave, and to take risks - not stupid ones, mind you, which I probably do too often, anyway. And she reads a lot. She used to read to me for an hour every night. I didn't even always like the story she read, but I listened to them anyway, just because it was her."

"There, that's good," said Finnick. "And your father?"

"My father is one of the funniest people I know," Athena said. "He's good at keeping peace, at making sure everyone's always happy. He's been sick, especially lately, but he acts so strong, you'd never be able to tell. I just want some may to make him better."

"And your sister?" he asked, watching her carefully.

"Calypso's younger than I am, but I'm pretty sure she'll grow up to be prettier than I'll ever be," she replied. "She's so smart, and she's funny, and bold, and kind, and... she deserves the best there is."

"What did they say when you were chosen in the Reaping?" Finnick said, taking a step towards her.

This she knew she would have to answer carefully, so that nobody would take it to mean her family didn't see the Hunger Games as an honour. "They were... worried for me. Scared I wouldn't win."

"So what did you say?"

"I promised them I would do what it took to make it back to them. And I will."

"You will," Finnick agreed, standing closer to her and looking up at her from where she stood. "I promise you will."

Athena couldn't tell if that was Finnick as Caesar Flickerman or Finnick as Finnick, but before she could ask, he was moving onto a whole new set of questions. They continued like this, Finnick asking her questions and her answering, occasionally returning the question to him, playing up different angles as she saw fit. Eventually, he was saying that that was enough and that she ought to be getting some sleep instead.

"You might have stylists to do your makeup, but there's only so much they can do for you if you don't at least look well-rested," Finnick said, leading the way to the elevator.

He walked her to her door again. It was just as she was bidding him goodnight and going inside her chambers that he grabbed her shoulder to stop her.

"I don't know how much I'll be able to see you tomorrow before the interview, so just remember this," he said in a low voice, staring directly into her eyes. "Make them fall in love with you."

She was a little too disappointed with that advice to hide it. Her shoulders slumped, and she let out a frustrated sigh. "And how exactly do I do that?"

"Simple," he shrugged, a hint of a smirk on his face. "Do what you did to me."

She rolled her eyes, giving him a look. "Very funny."

"Huh," he tilted his head, bemused. He removed his hand from her shoulder and backed away a few steps. "Weird. I don't remember joking. Sweet dreams, Maris."

With that, he turned and strode away down the hall. Athena stared after him, stunned. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), before she could say anything to that, he turned the corner and was gone from view.

 

*

 

The next morning, Athena woke with her prep team hovering over her. Her lessons with Alayne, Mags, and Finnick, it seemed, were over. Today belonged to her stylists. Ajax, Leto, and Hestia all let out delighted squeals when they saw she was awake, hauling her out of bed promptly.

"We're getting straight to work," Hestia explained excitedly. "Tatiana doesn't want to waste a moment."

"And neither do we," Leto added with a wink.

Her prep team worked on her until late afternoon. Though Athena was pretty sure she was just as hairless as she had been five days ago, they waxed her once more, just to be thorough. They turned her skin to glowing satin, stencilling designs that resembled the blue scaled of a fish ( _They'll be thinking mermaids, though_ , she thought) on her arms, painting patterns that looked like ocean waves on twenty perfect nails. As they had done before for the opening ceremonies, they glued tiny seashells, pearls, crystals, precious gems strategically on her body. Hestia set to work on her hair, setting it into tamer, looser waves, with a few, thin braids here and there. Ajax and Leto did her makeup. She still looked recognizable as ever, but they went much bolder this time than during the ceremonies. Silvery eyeliner, bolder, darker eyeshadow and mascara as contrast, and lips painted a pale pink.

"It's a shame we can't do any major body modifications," Ajax said with a sigh. "You'd look so lovely with different coloured eyes. Tatiana said no, though."

"She did?" Athena said, relieved.

"I did," said Tatiana, appearing with what appeared to be Athena's dress, though it was covered. "People aren't going to forget your face now, but a nice reminder never hurt anyone."

Ajax and Leto made the finishing touches on her make-up, before stepping away. Tatiana stepped towards her, telling her to close her eyes and raise her arms. Hesitating for a moment, Athena obeyed. She felt the softness of the material as they slid it down over her naked body, and was slightly surprised and pleased by how light the dress was. They helped her stumble blindly into her shoes, which were thankfully at least two inches shorter than the ones Alayne had her practicing in. There was a moment of adjusting and fidgeting, hushed whispers saying thing she couldn't quite make out.

"Can I open my eyes?" Athena asked, when silence had fallen upon the room again and hands were no longer tugging at her.

"Yes," Tatiana said, barely restrained excitement in her voice. "Open them."

Athena, who had mostly been expecting some sort of callback to the mermaid look, was a little surprised by what she saw in the mirror. The dress, with straps so thin they barely looked there at all, was made of a long, floaty material, and was so many different shades of blue she couldn't even name them all. Light and dark, deep and watery, all blending into each other perfectly, with white mixed in as well. The colours all seemed made to come together like this, resembling the ocean, especially when she moved. The resemblance was particularly prominent when she twirled around in the dress, which her stylists must have had her do no less than ten times, squealing with delight each time at the effect. The gems on her bare skin made it look like her skin was shimmering in the light, and her makeup, though not changing her appearance too much, made her look bolder, more fearless. She was pretty, she was radiant, she was beautiful, she was - 

"Unforgettable," Tatiana sighed dreamily, clearly beside herself with what she's done now. "Nobody's ever going to forget you now. I can't wait to see their reactions!"

"I - thank you, Tatiana," Athena finally said, starting to hope that her appearance might soften the blow of any mistakes she made in the interview.

Tatiana beamed at her but waved away the praise, setting her to work on moving around in the dress and shoes. The shoes were only a little higher than her own heels back home, making it easy to adjust to them. The dress also hung in a way that she didn't have to life the skirt when she walked, giving her one less thing to worry about.

"Okay," Tatiana said with a smile. "You're ready!"

Athena thought that was up for debate, but she also knew there wasn't much else she could do at this point, so she just followed her stylists out of her chambers. The rest of the District Four crowd was already waiting at the elevator. Syrio and his team had clearly been hard at work on Kai, too. Their outfits, while complimenting each other, were not identical. He wore a long overcoat, a blend of different blues than hers, along with pants to match. His white button-up shirt was half tucked in, giving him a stylishly rumpled look that wasn't  _too_ rumpled. His purposely messy hair only added to the effect. Finnick and Mags both dressed up for the occasion as well, though much more casually than Athena and Kai. She couldn't really tell if anyone from the Capitol was particularly dressed up or not; the way they dressed was always so over the top, she couldn't tell what was formal and what was casual.

"You look stunning, Athena!" Alayne said, as though they hadn't been at each other's throat yesterday. Still, Athena smiled and thanked her. One thing about Alayne was that, for better or for worse, you could always tell whether or not she meant a compliment. This time, she did.

"Yeah, you've outdone yourself, Maris," Finnick said, raising his eyebrows and looking her up and down.

"Well, it's more my stylists than me," Athena pointed out fairly, shrugging.

"Give yourself some credit, won't you?" he said with a smirk, as they all entered the elevators, which was roomy enough to fit all of them comfortably.

Once the elevator opened, they saw tributes being lined up to take the stage. The interviews took place on a stage constructed in front of the training center. Immediately, at the sight, her nerves hit her like a tidal wave, so that it was harder to breathe and walking straight was suddenly the most difficult thing she had done in days. Athena and Kai made to join the line, but Mags and Finnick each took their arms, stopping them. Athena noted that she practically towered over Mags in these heels, coming close to Kai's height. In spite of this, she was still considerably shorter than Finnick, barely reaching his nose. For a split second, forgetting her nerves, she almost wished she had been given heels tall enough to stand at least at his height, until she remember she wouldn't have been able to take two steps in them.

"Me and Mags will be near the front," Finnick murmured to them. "So will Alayne, and your stylists will be at the very front. If you get stuck, look to us for advice. And if you can't do something right, then make sure you look pretty while you do it wrong. The audience will forgive you easier for it."

Mags seemed approving of this advice, so with those words hanging between them, Athena and Kai joined the line. All twenty-four of them were to sit in a big arc all throughout the interviews. Being from District Four, Athena would either be the seventh of the eighth person to be interviewed, depending on whether the male of female tribute went first. She hoped the audience wouldn't get bored, the way the Gamemakers did during evaluations. Stringing up members of the audience and throwing spears at them would get her a lot of attention, but it would also lead to her painful execution, so it wasn't a plan she wanted to turn to.

 _Maybe plan B,_ she thought.

They walked single file to their seats, taking their places. Just stepping on stage made her heart start beating erratically in her chest, her pulse pounding in her temples. She was relieved for the opportunity to sit; she might have already been used to the heels, but her legs were sort of starting to shake, and it would likely have ended in disaster if she stood standing much longer. Evening was falling, but the City Circle was as bright as day. An elevated seating unit has been raised for the most prestigious of guests, the stylists commanding the front row, making it easier for the cameras to turn to them while the crowd reacted to their handiwork. A large balcony to the right was, as always, reserved for the Gamemakers. Television crews took up the rest of the balconies. But the City Circle and the avenues surrounding it were packed with people. Standing room only. At homes and community halls around the country, every television set was turned on. Everyone in Panem was watching.

Trying to distract herself from this fact, she wiped her hands discreetly on her dress, then clasped them together, correcting her posture the way Alayne had painstakingly taught her. She wouldn't be able to maintain a wide smile and keep it convincing throughout all the interviews, so she put on the cool, calm smirk that had worked for her all that time ago after her Reaping.

Caesar Flickerman, the man who had been hosting the interviews for nearly forty years now, took the stage, nearly bouncing up and down. He was a little unnerving to look at, because his appearance had remained virtually unchanged in all those years. It was the same face under a coating of pure white makeup. The same hairstyle, only dyed different every year for each Hunger Games; this year was a lavender purple, surprisingly soft for someone from the Capitol, where they tended to specialize in colours so bright and artificial they threatened to blind you. Same ceremonious suit, midnight blue, dotted with a thousand tiny electric bulbs that twinkled like stars. It was obvious why he stayed the same, of course; there were all sorts of surgeries that could be done in the Capitol that made people look younger and thinner. In District Four, weight and longevity weren't necessarily a rare, highly celebrated thing, but it certainly wasn't taboo, either. Being old or heavy typically meant having money, meant being well-fed. Everyone knew that this wasn't always the case across Panem, or even in their own district. While no one necessarily strived for wrinkles or a round belly, people rarely complained about it if they had them. Clearly, this wasn't the case in the Capitol.

Caesar's eyelids and lips matched the colour of his hair. Along with that powdery white makeup, he reminded her oddly of those cakes that were sold in bakeries, the kind Ian the pastry boy sometimes sold. He warmed up the audience by telling a few jokes, but then got down to business.

Sapphire Satin of District One strode up the steps to stand center stage, joining Caesar for her interview. She wore a provocative see-through silver gown that brought out her bright blue eyes. Her mentor clearly hadn't struggled too long over coming up with an angle for her. She was clearly going for sexy, and despite her young age, the Capitol was eating it up, judging from the reaction she was receiving.

The interview lasted only three minutes; then, a buzzer went off, and the next tribute was called up. Next was Bastion Silver, going for the vicious angle. Caesar reminded her of her prep team in the sense that it was hard to hate him, because in his own way, he really did try to help the tributes. He tried his absolute best to make the tributes shine, playing right along with whatever angle they played at. He was friendly, trying to set the nervous ones at ease, laughing at bad jokes as if it was the funniest thing he had ever heard, and making weak, boring responses memorable just by his reaction. Though Athena knew it was all fake, it was easy to believe that Caesar genuinely wanted each and every one of them to win, even though it was impossible.

The other interviews slipped by. As Dayta Fuse of District Three stepped up for her interview, playing up a smart but sassy angle, Athena glanced around at the audience, trying to locate familiar faces. Tatiana and Syrio were easy to spot. It seemed the stylists were lined up by district, as well. She looked for Mags, Finnick, and Alayne next, and found them sitting just behind the two stylists. Alayne was watching Dayta Fuse in interest, but Mags and Finnick, to her surprise, were both looked at her. Mags gave her a nod, Finnick a wink and a subtle thumbs up. Slightly comforted by the gesture, she smiled a little wider and turned away, refocusing on Dayta Fuse.

Too soon, Lumen Flux was finishing his interview and returning to his seat, and Caesar Flickerman was calling, "And now, for one of our two very favourite mermaids - Athena Maris!"

As if in a dream, Athena got to her feet. She remembered the sexy walk she had mastered yesterday, bringing it back with as much ease as she could manage.

"Try not to choke, Four," hissed Lana Ryker of District Two, having somehow pulled off an angle of being cute and ferocious at the same time.

"Tell that to yourself in the arena, Two," Athena said easily as she passed, the rehearsed winning smile she had put on not wavering in the slightest.

When she reached center stage, she took note of the roaring applause for her, louder than a lot of the other tributes so far. Some were even chanting her name, though she hadn't even done anything yet. She waved to them, making them all cheer louder.

"Athena Maris!" Caesar said again over all the noise, shaking her hand as she reached him, Athena privately feeling grateful that she had wiped her hands on her dress earlier. "Looking blue as the ocean - and twice as pretty, might I add. Look at that dress! Who's the brilliant stylist who designed that for you?"

"Tatiana, of course," Athena replied, with a little giggle. "A genius."

"A genius indeed!" Caesar agreed. "Let's give Tatiana a round of applause!"

Though she knew the cameras were all trained on Tatiana, who was smiling modestly and raising a hand in acknowledgement to the applause, Athena clapped along enthusiastically.

"Why don't you give us a twirl?" Caesar asked when the applause died down. "It'd be a  _crime_ not to in that dress!"

Athena obliged, spinning around once. The reaction was immediate; the audience was as loud and enthusiastic as they were moments ago. Knowing better than to stop, she kept going, twirling around and around until she was dizzy and had to grab Caesar's arm for support, giggling instead of swearing, as was her instinct.

"Oh, now don't stop!" Caesar cried.

"I have to, I'm dizzy!" she insisted, keeping her voice light and playful.

"Don't worry, I've got you," he said reassuringly, patting her arm. "We all want you on your feet for just a little longer, don't we?"

He addressed the crowd at that. There was another tidal wave of cheers and applause. Athena beamed at the crowd, bringing a hand to her chest as though she was touched by their enthusiasm instead of disgusted.

"Now, Athena," Caesar said, turning more serious, "this is obviously your first time in the Capitol. What was the biggest surprise to you, the biggest change from District Four?"

Athena paused, momentarily at war with herself. She knew now would likely be the time to be humble and gush about how wonderful the Capitol was, but she also knew she wouldn't be able to do it convincingly. The last thing she wanted was for her words to ring false and ruin the interview that was going well so far.

"The showers," she blurted out. There was a hum of laughter at that, and she gained back some of her courage. "I didn't think it was possible for there to be that many options! Forget one flower, I'm pretty sure I smell like a whole garden."

"Is that where that scent's from? I must say, it is lovely on you," Caesar said jovially.

"You're too kind," she returned easily, smiling modestly. "I think that's all you."

"I  _was_ trying out a new cologne," he admitted, grinning. "I'm glad you noticed! Now - speaking of District Four, you didn't come alone, did you? You have you district partner, the handsome Kai Emerson, but you two have two of the most famous victors in all of Panem as your mentors. You have Mags Flanagan, a long time favourite - " as though to prove this statement, there was another round of applause, punctuated by a few whistles here and there. The cameras turned to Mags, who simply smiled around at the crowd - "and Finnick Odair, who we've hardly been able to keep off our minds!" the crowd went wild, screaming their love for Finnick, who simply raised a hand lazily in acknowledgement, smirking. "How does it feel to have two mentors like them to guide you? Exciting? Overwhelming?"

"It's definitely very exciting," Athena smiled. Deciding to go for confidence, she added in, "And I think wise mentors like them are exactly what I need to help me get to the top."

"Wise?" Caesar repeated. "Is that all you'd use to describe them? Don't tell me you haven't noticed Finnick's good looks!"

Athena let out a girlish giggle that she would never have used otherwise, but said, with just enough sarcasm, "Finnick? Good-looking? Funny, I never noticed."

The audience was nearly a wall of noise, bursting with laughter and shrieks of delight at the comment, as Caesar said over the noise, "Now I wonder what Finnick has to say about that!"

The cameras swivelled again to Finnick, who was laughing good-naturedly and waving away the comment, mouthing what looked like "She's in denial! It's fine, it's fine, she'll learn."

"Well, good-looking or not, it seems you're right about them taking you to the top," Caesar said. "Your score on your evaluation is one of the highest of all the tributes. Give us a hint on what happened in that room with the Gamemakers."

"Let's just say I think it's best if it stays between me and the Gamemakers, Caesar," Athene said vaguely, a coy smile on her face.

"Come on, don't give us that!" he pleaded. "Tell us more!"

"I don't think I'm even allowed to tell you anything, actually," Athena said playfully.

"Oh, you're killing us," Caesar said, as though in actual pain.

Athena looked to the balcony holding the Gamemakers and called, "I'm not allowed to tell them anything, right?"

"She's not!" called the Gamemaker who had spilled wine all over himself, laughing jovially.

Athena turned back to Caesar, spreading her hands as though to show they were tied. "Sorry, Caesar. Rules are rules."

"Rules are rules," Caesar repeated, nodding in agreement. "But I think it's safe to say that we all have our eyes on you, Athena Maris."

 _Meaning everyone behind me wants me dead first,_ Athena thought, thinking of the tributes behind her, probably making her first on their kill list right then, but she only smiled and said, "And I promise I won't disappoint."

"I'm sure you won't," said Caesar. "But now, let's go back a few days, the day of your Reaping. You seemed awfully scared, then, not as confident and fearless as you do now."

"I was... shocked," Athena said carefully. "And worried about leaving my family behind."

"Your family," Caesar said. "That little girl that ran up to you during the Reaping, was that your sister?"

Athena nodded. She noted that the City Circle was deadly silent now. "Her name's Calypso. She's nine. I think she's scared that I won't make it back home. And I think she and my parents were more surprised than I was when I was Reaped, since a part of me sort of knew it would be me."

"Why's that?" he asked in interest. "Why  _you?_ "

Athena hesitated momentarily. She didn't want to tell them, she had barely wanted people back in District Four to know, let alone this city of people living too luxuriously to ever understand. Her gaze flickered to her mentors. Mags gave her an encouraging smile, and Finnick nodded at her once. Both gestures said one thing to her:  _let them know you_.

"I - uh - applied for Tesserae," she admitted, and there was a round of dramatic, shocked gasps from the audience. The audience full of people who have never in their lives had to worry about putting food on the table. "My parents got fired, and money was a little... difficult, so I applied for Tesserae to help. I did it for them. I sort of had a feeling it would be because of it, but my family wasn't so prepared."

"Oh, that's so brave of you," Caesar said earnestly. "And what did they say to you afterwards?"

"They said they wanted me to come out alive," she said carefully. "They said they wanted me to survive."

"And what did you tell them?" he asked, seeming to hang onto her every word.

"I told them I'd do whatever it took to win," Athena replied. "I promised them I'd do whatever it took to get back to them."

"And I'm sure you will," Caesar said seriously, nodding. Just then, the buzzer went off, indicating the end of the interview. "Sorry, out of time, but I and all of the Capitol stand behind you, Athena Maris, tribute from District Four!"

Another enthusiastic round of applause followed Athena back to her seat. She glanced over at her mentors, Alayne, and the two stylists, all of whom were beaming at her, telling her she had done well. Feeling light from relief, she sat back down again, relaxing slightly now that her work was done - and done right, evidently, since the applause continued long after she sat down.

"And now for the second half of our favourite mermaid duo - Kai Emerson!" Caesar announced, and Kai got to his feet and walked confidently over to the center of the stage.

Athena watched his interview in interest, curious to see how his funny but ferocious angle would play out. It worked like a charm. He had the audience laughing nearly all throughout his interview. Even when he was detailing how he was ready to take down each and every one of his enemies, he found a way to make it funny. The one time he sobered up, though, speaking much gentler, was when he spoke of a girl he was in love with back home. Athena wasn't sure if any of it was honest, though. True, enough girls in the academy stared at him as he walked by and spoke of him longingly for it to not be surprising if he did have a girlfriend, but Athena had never seen him with a girl in any romantic way. Then again, she and Kai had never been all that close. There were likely many things about him that she didn't know.

After Kai took his seat again to thunderous applause and cheers, the rest of the interviews seemed to fly by. She noticed that everyone was playing up some sort of angle, though not all of them were very memorable. Cara Savera of District Six was showcasing a quick-witted, spunky personality. Rowan Lindell was humble, friendly, and funny, while his district partner, Amber Cedara, was fierce and determined. The siblings of District Nine, Harvery and Gwenith Miller, played up their humility and loyalty to each other.

Angus Keld, who hadn't spoke to anyone throughout training and even refused an alliance with the Careers, refused to play along with Caesar's banter, answering questions shortly and as solemnly as he had been during his Reaping. Athena had to admire him, the way he refused to play along with the Capitol in their harsh, cruel little game. He looked strong, tall and muscular, meaning he didn't have to try quite as hard to get sponsors, but the thought was still there. In spite of this, there was a hush over the audience during his interview, and it seemed to Athena that the unlikelihood of Angus Keld's survival was hanging over them.

Marjorie Hopper and Will Pinegrove, whose name Athena always had trouble remembering, were dressed all in black in reference of the coal mines of District Twelve, but Athena could really only think of a funeral when she saw the two of them. Marjorie Hopper seemed the very picture of virtue, of innocence, so that a hush fell over the audience as they stared at her in awe. Caesar was gentler with her than he was with any of the other tributes, as enamoured with her as anyone else. When asked about her sister, she said with surprising determination in her voice, "I'm going to honour her. I'm going to honour her memory no matter what it takes."

Will Pinegrove finished off the interviews, coming across as humble and kind, with a sort of self-deprecating humor that made him instantly likeable. With the interviews finished, everyone stood for the anthem. Required to raise her head out of respect, Athena could see that the monitors focused on each pair of tributes, glancing at herself on the screen to make sure that confident half smile was still on her face. When the anthem was finished, the tributes filed back into the Training Room lobby, moving towards the elevators. Athena and Kai walked side by side, neither saying a word. Still, Athena knew they were thinking the same thing. They had done well today, but it seemed like child's play compared to tomorrow, when they would be miles and miles away from this comfortable, luxurious life.

Tomorrow the Games began. Tomorrow everything changed. Tomorrow all the tributes, with all their pretty costumes and smiles and shining, fake personalities, would go into the arena, and they would all die except for one. And perhaps the worst part of all, none of them knew who that one person would be.


	7. VII

**VII**

 

Dinner that night was a silent affair. Even without the fact that Athena and Kai were being trained separately, the weight of the Games tomorrow was heavy on all of them, silencing them. Even Alayne did not give her usual brave attempt at small talk. Athena focused on eating as much as she possibly could, even if her nerves protested against putting so much in her stomach. Food would be scarce in the arena. She might as well eat as much as she could while she could.

Afterwards, Mags pulled Athena aside to speak with her privately, offering her more advice. A part of Athena wanted Mags to stop, because it all felt like too much, like she was going to burst from it all. The rest of Athena knew that avoiding the inevitable would only get her killed, so she listened to Mags as best as she could.

"As soon as... in the arena... get a sense of surroundings... evaluate other tributes... may act confident now... everything changes in... arena."

Athena nodded. "Okay. What about the Cornucopia, though? How do I get what I need without getting killed in the bloodbath?"

"Be quick," Mags said simply. "Get what... need and get out. No lingering."

Be quick. Athena could do that.

"Finnick and I... send you... many gifts as we can... lots of sponsors want you... will help. Stay strong in... meantime."

Stay strong. Athena could probably do that. When Mags was finished giving her final advice, she sent Athena away to bed, insisting she ought to get a full night of sleep while she could. Athena surprised herself by falling asleep quickly, but she didn't stay that way for long, waking up after fifteen minutes. Try as she might, she couldn't bring herself to sleep for much longer, tossing and turning restlessly. Finally, she gave up, getting up and escaping to her usual refuge: the roof.

She found someone already on the roof, sitting on the edge so that their feet dangled off of it. After a moment, she recognized the person to be Finnick. Athena stood there for a moment, arguing silently with herself, before making up her mind and moving to sit beside him. He didn't seem particularly surprised to see her, nor did he make any argument against her being there, but he did say, though without any real conviction, "You should be getting rest. You'll need it for tomorrow."

"You think if I could get any rest I'd be here right now?" she retorted.

"So I'm a second choice?" Finnick asked, raising his eyebrows.

"The  _roof_ was a second choice," she corrected. "You just happened to be here."

"Funny," he said.

"I wasn't joking."

"Come on," he said with a grin, "don't act like the high possibility that I'd be here didn't influence you at least a little bit."

"Your unwavering certainty of yourself is actually a little inspiring," Athena replied, not wanting to have to reply to his actual question.

"First you insult my looks, now this?" he said, mock-offended.

"I never insulted your looks," she said, "I just said I never noticed you were good-looking."

"Speaking of which," he said, grinning cheekily, "you've gotten much better at lying."

"Who said anything about lying?" she replied.

"You stare at me a little too often for that to be convincing."

"I don't  _stare_ at you - " she began defensively.

"Sure you don't," he said disbelievingly. "In any case, you did well in your interview. Everyone in the Capitol adores you. You'll have no trouble getting sponsors, believe me."

"I'm glad to hear it," she said truthfully. "At the very least, I'm glad I didn't say everything I did for nothing."

"You were a lot more open than I expected you to be," Finnick nodded. "Did you make that up? The stuff about the Tessera, I mean?"

"No," she said immediately, offended at the suggestion, "of course not. Why would I make that up?"

"You wouldn't be the first to do it," was all he said, sitting down beside her.

"That's awful," Athena said, a little angry at the thought. "People apply for Tessera to keep themselves and their family from starving. That's why I did it. It's not some angle I can get at to make me seem more interesting."

"I never said it was a good thing, I just said people do it more often than you think," he replied. "People do what they need to do to make it out alive. You can't hold that against them."

"I know," she admitted. "But I know who I can hold it against."

Athena didn't elaborate, and Finnick didn't ask what she meant. He already knew. And he must know that they were being watched, meaning Athena couldn't say anything that might make her an enemy to the Capitol and President Snow.

"Did you come here this often before your Games?" she asked him suddenly, meaning to change the subject.

"No," he shook his head, jumping on the opportunity. "Mags didn't show me this place until after I won. I was fourteen and determined to win. I didn't want to leave our floor and do anything that would get me into trouble."

"So you kept out of trouble the whole time?" Athena raised her eyebrows, finding this hard to believe.

"Well," he began, "there was an incident with this boy from District One. He thought he'd get smart with me, so when everyone else had their back turned, I whipped him around the head with the hilt of a sword. Everyone looked back before he could do anything, and he never told because no one would believe him - the Capitol took a liking to me from the start. Does that count as trouble?"

"I'll count it," she said, grinning. "And I thought  _I_ was bad. At least I never outright hurt anyone."

Finnick just shrugged. "I have no regrets. Anyway, let's not talk about me. The Games start tomorrow. How are you feeling?"

It was the last thing she wanted to talk about, but she couldn't be surprised that he was asking.

"Could do with some of that whiskey now," she said flatly. "Probably wouldn't do to be hungover in the Hunger Games, though, would it?"

"Definitely not," he agreed, nodding.

Athena smiled, but shrugged, saying, "I'm as fine as I can get. It doesn't really matter how I feel, does it? I've done all that I can to get ready for this. Now I just have to face it. I just hope it counts for something."

"I think it will," Finnick told her. "I know I haven't done this as long as Mags, but I've seen enough to be able to tell when someone stands a chance in the arena. You do. You could win the whole thing. I know it."

"You really think so?" she said, staring up at him, stunned.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Why the tone of surprise?"

"I didn't realize I inspired that kind of confidence in you," she replied.

"You inspire that kind of confidence in a lot of people, and you're not nearly as aware of it as you should be," he said matter-of-factly. "I'm a busy man, Maris. I've got all sorts of business at all hours of the day to attend to. Do you think I'd give up hours of sleep I could be having to talk to you up here if I thought you didn't stand a chance?"

"I thought I was only a contributing factor to you coming up here," Athena raised her eyebrows.

"I might have bent the truth when I told you that," he shrugged. "But I'm being honest now. You've got this."

Athena thought this over. She had a chance in the arena. That she knew for sure. But there were countless other things to be unsure about. If she could really kill when it came to it, if she could handle seeing death - violent death - as much as she would, if she could go through all of this unchanged.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, studying her face carefully.

"Say I win," Athena said, "the person I'll be coming out of the arena will be completely different than the person I am now. And I'm not sure that version of myself will be any better than who I am now."

Finnick didn't seem surprised by her concern. He just nodded slowly, seeming to understand.

"Look, you're going to do things in there you've never done before, see things you haven't seen before," he said matter-of-factly. "It's a given things will change afterwards. I can't tell you whether that change will be for the better or for the worse. But I've seen through it. I'm alive. And I think that's for the better. I think it'll be the same for you."

Athena just shrugged and shook her head, rather helplessly. "I just don't want to be what they want me to be. I don't want to be some doll for the Gamemakers to play with and the Capitol to marvel at. I don't want to just be some piece in the game. I want to still be myself, that's all."

"You're not all alone, you know," Finnick said to her. "You have your family back home, don't you? I know they won't understand everything, but they might help. And you have me - and Mags, too, of course," he added quickly, when Athena looked at him in surprise. "We're your mentors. That job doesn't just stop right after the Games end. We'll be there to help you through it."

It might not have soothed all her worries completely, but it was definitely something. She smiled at him, before looking away at the view the roof provided of the city, twinkling with the lights from windows, illuminated by the moon. She looked back at him when he got to his feet, extending his hand towards her.

"Come on," he said. "You seriously do need to rest."

Athena hesitated, glancing between his hand and his face. She waited long enough to make sure he wasn't going to suddenly retract his hand and behave oddly the way he had a few days ago, before taking his hand and allowing him to help pull her to her feet. Finnick led the way to the elevators, and then the door to her chambers, where they then stopped.

"I don't know how much I'll be able to see you tomorrow, if at all," Finnick admitted, and something about not seeing Finnick again before she went into the arena was oddly upsetting to her. "If I can't, just remember this: trust your instincts. Follow them, no matter what. They've done you more harm than good so far, that'll carry you through the arena."

Athena nodded, letting out a small sigh. The next few moments were tense as they stood in front of her door, staring at each other in silence. Neither knew when they would see each other again, or if they would at all, and that fact made itself painfully evident then. Something about realizing she may never see Finnick again made the realization that she might die in the arena hit her that much harder, and she grabbed onto the handle of the doorknob to steady herself.

He seemed to take it as indication that she was about to leave, because he straightened up slightly and said, "Right. Try to sleep." Then, just as she expected, added a "Sweet dreams, Maris," before walking away.

Suddenly drained, Athena shuffled into her chambers, collapsing onto her bed and quickly falling into a fitful sleep.

Athena didn't see much of anyone in the morning, except for Tatiana, who came to see her before dawn. Tatiana gave her a simply shift to wear and guided her up to the roof, where it was slightly odd to be without Finnick at this point. Athena's final dressing and preparations would be alone in the catacombs under the arena itself. A large hovercraft appeared out of thin air above them, and a ladder dropped down before them. Athena placed her hands and feet on the lower rungs, and instantly, it was as if she was frozen, some sort of glue keeping her stuck to the ladder as she was lifted inside the hovercraft.

Athena expected to be released as soon as she was in the hovercraft, but she remained as she was as a woman in a white coat approached her, holding a syringe in her gloved hands. "This is just your tracker, Athena. The stiller you are, the more efficiently and painlessly I can place it."

In spite of the woman's words, there was a sharp stab of pain as the needle inserted the metal tracking device deep under the skin of her forearm. Now the Gamemakers could always track her whereabouts in the arena; the last thing they would want is to lose a tribute.

As soon as the tracker was placed, the ladder released her. The woman in the white coat disappeared and Tatiana was retrieved from the roof. An Avox boy appeared, leading them to a room where breakfast was placed. Her stomach was churning unpleasantly, but again, Athena ate until her body threatened to become sluggish and slow as a result. Tatiana said with a slightly put-on smile that Athena must love the food in the Capitol, but in reality, she was barely taking in the taste. Her nerves made it feel like she was chewing on rubber. Athena kept her eyes trained on the windows to distract herself from thoughts of her family as they sailed over the city and into the wilderness beyond.

The ride lasted for about half an hour before the windows blacked out, indicating that they were nearing the arena. When the hovercraft landed, Athena and Tatiana went back to the ladder, but this time it led into a tube underground, into the catacombs under the arena. They followed the instructions to their destination, a chamber for Athena's preparation. The name of the place varied depending on who was asked; to some, particularly those in the Capitol, it was the Launch Room; to others, particularly those from the districts who did not quite have the Career mindset, it was the Stockyard - the place animals went to before the slaughter.

Everything about the room was brand new. Athena was the first tribute and would be the only tribute to use this Launch Room. The arenas were considered historic sites, preserved carefully even after the Games. Popular destinations for Capitol residents to visit, to vacation. Go for a month, re-watch the Games, tour the catacombs, visit the sites where the deaths took place, even take part in reenactments. Rumor had it that the food was excellent.

Athena fought to keep her breakfast down as she showered and cleaned her teeth. Tatiana pulled her hair back into a tight bun. Then the clothes arrived, the same for every tribute. Tatiana had no say in the design of the outfit, was as clueless about what was in the package as Athena, but helped her dress in the undergarments, the loose-fitting tan cargo pants, the slightly baggy, white long-sleeved linen shirt, and the matching tan cargo jacket with her name stitched on the inside. The boots, worn over skin-tight socks, were the same colour as the pants and jacket and surprisingly light, with a narrow flexible rubber sole with treads, making it good for running.

Once Athena was done dressing, Tatiana pulled something out of her pocket that made her heart lift just slightly, in spite of everything.

"My mother's necklace," she said, relieved. Her prep had forced her to take it off the previous day, and Athena had been getting worried she'd never see it again. "I was worried I wouldn't be able to take it into the arena with me."

"You almost didn't," Tatiana said matter-of-factly. "It took ages for it to get cleared - the review board has to examine and approve a token before a tribute can take it into the arena, you see. They got paranoid it could be used as a weapon somehow, giving you an unfair advantage. It's not as uncommon as you'd think, you know," she added, at the look on Athena's face. "The girl from District Two - what was her name - Lana? - either way, she had a necklace that looked a little like yours, except the pendant turned into a poisoned blade."

Athena thought of Lana Ryker, with all her anger and ferociousness and threats, and nodded once, unsurprised by this. "Sounds like something she would do."

"Well, she claimed that she had no idea that the necklace could do that, and there's no way of proving she did, so nothing happened to her, but she lost her token. Still, in the end, yours got cleared. Now turn around."

Athena turned, and Tatiana put on Athena's necklace for her. Athena brought her fingers to the pendent, thinking mournfully of her mother and her final promise to her family. Tatiana instructed her to move around in the outfit and ensure everything was comfortable. Athena did as she was told, moving around the room in varying ways and speeds, swinging her arms and legs about, before informing Tatiana that the outfit fit her perfectly.

"Then there's nothing to do but wait for the call," Tatiana said matter-of-factly. "Unless you can eat anymore?"

Athena hesitated, but ultimately decided on eating a little more and drinking four cups of water. From the looks of her outfit, she'd be in some sort of desert area, where the weather would be hot and food and water would be scarce. Even if she felt like she would vomit everything she forced down right back up, it was best to take advantage of the food and water she was being offered while she could.

She expected Tatiana to wait with her until the call, but instead she said, "I should go. Besides, you mentor will be here any moment to speak with you, and I suspect some conversations should be had in private."

"My mentor?" Athena repeated, surprised.

"Yes. It's usually not allowed for mentors to see their tributes before the launch, but mentors like yours always find their way around these things!" Tatiana chirped, before moving towards her, suddenly a little more serious, taking her face in her hands. "I'll see you on the other side, okay?"

"What makes you so sure?" Athena said quietly, because the fact that was creeping up on her more and more was that she could be dead in a week, a day, an hour, even less.

"I've seen enough in my life to know a winner when I see one," Tatiana said with a small smile. "Take care of yourself in there, Athena."

With that, she moved out of the room, leaving Athena alone. She paced up and down the room, wringing her hands, waiting for Mags to waltz in and find just the right words to relax her, if only for a moment. When she heard footsteps approaching, she stopped pacing abruptly and stood straighter, expecting Mags' short frame and wrinkled, weathered face to come into view. Instead, it was Finnick's tall, lean frame and his much smoother, handsome face. She stared at him, stunned.

"What?" he raised his eyebrows at her reaction. "Can't still be that much of a surprise to see me."

"You should be Mags," she blurted out. Then, she realized what she had said and backtracked quickly, "I just mean - when Tatiana said - I was expecting Mags. I figured you'd be with Kai."

"I was with Kai. I wanted to be with you for your launching, though," he replied, shrugging, stepping forward. "Is that a problem?"

"Not to me," she said truthfully. "Won't Kai be upset about that, though?"

"If Kai makes it out of this alive, he can feel free to be angry at me," Finnick replied, looking unconcerned. "But with twenty-three other tributes up against him, he might not get that chance."

"That's not a very good mindset for a mentor to have about his tribute," Athena said, taking a step back and folding her arms.

"What if I'm not speaking as a mentor?" he said, taking a deliberate step forward, gauging her reaction. When she made no negative response, he took another step forward.

"That would be awfully unprofessional," she replied, staring up at him boldly. "Especially since your one job here is to mentor us."

Finnick smiled faintly, as though he knew something she didn't. "Right. My only job in the Capitol. Well, I'd have thought you would've noticed by now that professionalism isn't exactly my strong suit here."

"If you're not speaking as a mentor, when what are you speaking as?" Athena asked, ignoring his last comment.

"A victor. A person with common sense. Just Finnick Odair," he replied. "To all of those versions of myself, it's very clear that Kai's chances of getting out alive aren't too great."

"Well, my chances of making it out are the same as Kai's, probably even lower," Athena pointed out, ignoring the way her heart contracted unpleasantly at the truth in those words. "How do you know this isn't a waste of time and you should really be with Kai?"

"Believe me, it's higher than that," he said, moving slowly until he was right in front of her and tucking back loose strands of hair. In spite of herself, she leaned into his touch, telling herself very firmly that it was just because any sort of comfort was helpful to her nerves just then. "The odds are much more in your favour."

Hudson, Mags, Finnick, Tatiana. They all seemed to be convinced that she had what it took to win the Games and become victor. Athena had no idea what it was about her that gave him that idea, but the idea of disappointing all of them managed to make her feel even worse about all of this. Somehow, disappointing Hudson was the most upsetting of the four of them. Hudson had spoken to her at the Justice Building a week ago ( _How could it have only been a week?_ Athena thought, unable to wrap her head around it.  _It felt like some distant memory from years and years ago_ ) with such quiet conviction, as though Athena's survival in the Games was so certain that there was no need to boast, the same to her as boasting about the sun rising and setting each day. Athena imagined Hudson watching her death on television and felt her head spin.

"But that's not going to just come by itself," Finnick continued. "Now focus. Your guess is as good as mine about what the arena will be like, but your outfit can give you some indications. Look at what you're wearing, figure out what it might mean in terms of the arena."

Athena glanced down at her outfit, before saying, "Well, it's all either white or this sort of tan colour, which I'm assuming is to help us blend into our surroundings. The boots also have treads that make it harder to slip and fall, which all probably mean that we'll be somewhere with a lot of sand."

"Good," he nodded approvingly. "Keep going."

"All the clothes are pretty light, too, even the jacket and the boots. That means it'll probably be hot where we are, so I'm guessing it's some sort of desert."

This was good. This was something to focus on, something to drive her, to keep her pushing forward, instead of standing still, frozen with fear. Finnick seemed to approve, too.

"And what are you going to do about the Cornucopia?"

"I'm going to need some supplies, and I can't count on them just lying around. I'll go in, grab what I need, run out. If I have to fight people to do it, then I will. It's inevitable in the arena anyway."

"And the Careers?"

Athena hesitated, then opted to avoid the question. "Did  _you_ have an alliance with the Careers during  _your_ Games?"

"No, I went it alone during my Games," he replied truthfully, shrugging. "But this is about you, not me."

Athena bit her lip, because she still wasn't sure she wanted an alliance with the other Careers. Finally, she said in resignation, "As far as I'm aware, I'm still with Kai. He clearly wants an alliance with the Careers, and if that's the case, then I guess I'm going to have to deal with it. Like you said, it's not about trust, it's about what they have to offer you, right? Well, there's no denying the Careers have tons to offer."

Finnick looked interested at this response. "As long as you remember what I said about trusting your instincts."

Athena stared at him, surprised. Something about his tone implied that trusting her instincts meant avoiding an alliance with the Careers, but she couldn't see why Finnick would promote that for her now. It was him telling her only a few days ago that the smartest alliance she could get in was one with the Careers. Before she could ask about it, though, he took her mother's necklace in his fingers, turning over the pendent carefully. Something about the action reminded her of the close proximity to each other, making it hard to ignore the head radiating from him, the scent of mint and the ocean that she slowly learned to associate with him.

"Who gave this to you?" he asked quietly.

"My mother," she replied, her voice just as low, in spite of being very alone. "It's been in the family for generations, passed down to the oldest daughter. She gave it to me to wear as a token."

Finnick's brow furrowed slightly at that, his gaze flickering from the pendent to her eyes, but before he could say anything, a pleasant feminine voice announced that it was time to prepare for launch.

Athena walked over to stand on the circular metal plate. Finnick moved to stand in front of her. He reached out to touch her arms, before his hands slid down to take her own. Her skin burned where he touched her, even the parts that were covered by the fabric of the cargo jacket.

"Come back," he whispered. "Come back to your mother, and your father and your sister. We'll be waiting for you."

There was a part of Athena that thought they'd be waiting a very long time. It was the last thing she wanted to tell him, though, the last thing she even wanted to think, so she just smiled weakly and nodded once.

"Good luck, Athena," Finnick said, paused, then added, "Show them what a victor looks like."

Then a glass cylinder was lowering around her, forcing their joined hands to break apart, separating them. She knew this was temporary, but she still felt trapped. Finnick said something to her, but the glass between them muffled his words, making them unintelligible to her. When he tapped his fingers beneath his chin, she understood. Athena lifted her chin so that her head was held high, straightening her posture so she stood taller. Finnick nodded once in approval, the ghost of what was an almost proud smile on his face.

The cylinder began to rise, making Finnick appear lower and lower. They stared at each other until he was out of sight and there was only darkness all around. She was in this darkness for around fifteen seconds, until she felt the metal plate push her out of the cylinder, into open air. After the minimal lighting of the catacombs, the bright light of the sun blinded her, and she was conscious only of the hot breeze blowing past her.

Then she heard the voice of the legendary announcer, Claudius Templesmith, as he boomed, "Ladies and gentleman, let the Sixty-Ninth Annual Hunger Games begin!"

Sixty seconds. That was how long they were required to stay on these metal circles before the sound of the gong released them. how long they had to take in the ring of tributes, all equidistant from the Cornucopia. Sixty seconds until the Games truly began. Step off the plate even a moment before the minute was up, and land mines beneath the ground would blow your legs up. Athena tried not to remember the girl who accidentally tripped off of her plate too soon, the way they had to literally scrape her remains off the ground.

Athena took in her surroundings instead. As she predicted, they were in a desert. Yellow sand stretched out seemingly for miles on all sides, waves of heat shimmered in front of her, and the sun beat down on them from a cloudless sky. It seemed that this was a city turned war zone, because there were buildings behind all the tributes, some relatively in tact, others complete and utter ruin. There might have been streets once, but they were covered completely by sand. They were on relatively flat ground, though the levels of sand were uneven in places. Perhaps made that way naturally. But if this really was an old war zone, maybe it was old traps that had been covered up. Maybe even ones that had never gone off, ones that were working even today. Houses that were still standing had curtains that were only ever blue or red. She didn't know what that meant, if it did mean anything at all, though.

She stood before the Cornucopia, directly across from the mouth of it. It was a giant golden horn shaped like a cone with a curved tail, the mouth of which was no less than twenty feet high, spilling over with all the things that were the difference between life and death in the arena. Food, containers of water, weapons, medicine, garments, fire starters, and more. There were more items strewn around the Cornucopia, decreasing in value the further they were from the horn, such as the square of plastic lying a few feet from where Athena stood. It might have some uses, but it wasn't life saving the way the items in the horn were. Many of the deaths in the Games occurred at or near the Cornucopia, especially now, at this very moment in the Games. They were all rushing to get the supplies they needed, making it the only time that so many tributes were all in the same place at the same time. With new found weapons in their hand, deaths were inevitable. It was why the death count was always so high on the first day. She thought with an unpleasant jolt that she might be contributing to that death count, either due to her own death or her killing another tribute.

Remembering Mags' advice about evaluating the other tributes, she studied each face as best as she could from the distance between each of them. Some of them were on the other side of the Cornucopia, blocking them from Athena's view, but she examined the rest as best as she could. Her subconscious was trying to find Kai, but when she couldn't see him, she figured he must be on the other side of the Cornucopia, perhaps even trying and failing to find her, too. Mags had had a point about the personalities of tributes changing the moment they were in the arena. Many of the tributes who had appeared scared of worried before now had a grim determination about them. And many of them that had seemed very confident now seemed downright terrified. There were twenty-four of them, and twenty-three would die, and it seemed they were all more aware of it than ever. The most frightened of all was the boy beside her; after a moment of thought, she remembered it to be the solemn-faced boy from District Six, Kirk Martin. He seemed to be contemplating something, as he looked around the arena and then at the ground in front of him. After a moment, Athena realized he was shuffling forward. Not to get a good start when the gong sounded, with just over forty seconds on the clock. But to work up the courage to jump off the plate too soon. To kill himself.

"What are you doing?" she said to him, but she was speaking too quietly for him to hear. When he kept shuffling forward, she called out, a little desperately, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WAIT - STOP!" He glanced at her for just a moment, but otherwise paid her no mind, looking back in front of him and shuffling forward further. " _STOP!_ "

But it was too late. His final step was not a small shuffle, but a giant leap off the metal circle. Athena barely had time to look away, covering her face with her arms, as the deafening explosion went off beneath him, letting out a small shriek in spite of herself. A ringing silence followed. Slowly, Athena worked up the courage to lower her arms and look at the result of Kirk Martin's final actions, her breathing slightly ragged.

All that was left of him were pieces. A finger or two here, a mangled foot there, his glasses, shattered, sitting a few feet away from her. In spite of the distance between them, bits of blood and even flesh had managed to stick to Athena. She didn't wipe it off. She couldn't even bear to look at it. Above them, the canon that signalled the death of a tribute went off, already marking these Games as a special one; it was rare for the canon to go off before the Games even officially started. Athena clenched her hands into tight fists to keep them from shaking, biting her lip so hard she threatened to draw blood. There were twenty-three of them left, and twenty-two more would die. Athena should have been relieved that there was one less person for her to face, but somehow, she felt worse.

She thought of her family again, watching this moment with baited breath, right along with the rest of the country, except for them it would be different. For them, the stakes would be higher than ever. She thought of what they would do if it had been her to jump off her plate instead, thought of what would happen if she was killed in the bloodbath in the Cornucopia or anywhere else. She couldn't do that to them, she couldn't put them through it. Twenty-three of them left, and twenty-two more would die. And she would be the one who lived. She saw, quite clearly, that that was how it had to be. Nothing else would do.

Trying not to look at the now empty metal plate on her left, she looked straight ahead at the Cornucopia. She was glad to be directly across from the mouth, as it gave her the advantage of seeing what was inside the horn before the gong sounded. It she knew what she was getting before she was there, it would shorten her time at the Cornucopia considerably, allowing her to get out of there sooner. She saw daggers and figured she ought to pick up a couple of those, as they were light and easy to carry and always useful to have. There were several backpacks, that she knew would be prepacked with all sorts of supplies, some useful, others utterly useless, to trick the tributes. Athena would need one of those, but she would have to take the time to see which ones had supplies that would actually need. What really caught her attention, though, was that was to the right of the mouth of the tent. A spear, just like the one she used in training, just like her own back in District Four was standing, propped up against the wall of the Cornucopia. Beside it was a plain golden shield, big enough to protect her without being a burden to carry.

 _That's for me_ , she thought with a jolt.  _Both of them are for me._

She must be well-known among the Gamemakers for her use of the spear, and she remembered the Gamemakers watching her one day as she fought skilfully with a shield in hand. It might have been self-centered of her to think, but she was certain they were for her. Why else would they be placed right next to each other?

Athena looked at each of the tributes in her sight, studying them once more. There was still the fact that many of them were bigger than she was, but size was not always an indication of strength. Besides, many of them looked terrified, particularly terrified by Kirk Martin's final actions, and for most people, fear made them shut down, made them behave worse than they would otherwise. In spite of her pounding heart and her sweating palms, however, Athena was almost calm. Her head was quite clear. She knew what she needed to do. She could not end up like Kirk Martin, dead and gone, destroyed, ultimately, by the Capitol and its Gamemakers. She needed to live. She needed to return to her family.

Ten seconds left on the clock. Athena shuffled forward on the metal plate as much as she dared in preparation, determinedly not thinking about what would happen if she stepped just a bit too far. Suddenly, she was hyper aware of everything; of the heat of the sun beating down on her; of the stifling hot air all around; of the bead of sweat forming at her temple, sliding down her face; of her slightly unsteady breaths. Then the gong sounded and she did not think at all, instead opting to run.

She was one of the first to reach the Cornucopia. Those that were there, for the moment, too focused on getting what they needed to focus on killing each other. Athena picked up the spear in her right hand and the shield in her left, heading immediately to where the backpacks were. The first backpack she chose was full of nothing but arrows, which were useless to her when she wasn't using a bow. Tossing it aside, she chose the second pack, which had food, two flasks of what appeared to be water, and a box of first aid supplies. There was more, but what she had seen already was enough for her. She swung the bag over her shoulder, dodging a punch sent by a nearby tribute, and hitting him around the head with the shaft of her spear. As more tributes filled the Cornucopia and deadly fights broke out, Athena raced towards the daggers, pocketing one in each of the pockets of her cargo pants and jacket. With everything she needed, she made to leave and get as far from the chaos as she could, but she was blocked by the form of the male tribute from District Eight, Burton Angora, holding a sword rather clumsily in his hand.

"You'll want to get out of the way," Athena said, hoping to sound threatening to hide how desperately she wanted to avoid having to harm this boy at all.

He didn't listen or respond in any way, only swinging at her with his sword. She dodged it with ease, but then he was sending another blow her way, then another, then another. They were clumsy attacks, easy to dodge, but the longer she stayed, the more likely it became she would to be subjected to more attacked by more tributes. She needed to get out of there now. So when he swung at her wildly again, leaving him exposed, without thinking, she stabbed him in the gut with her spear, moved it upwards and twisted the blade, before finally shoving it out again.

Time seemed to slow down. Physically, it was almost shamefully easy. It took barely any effort at all to end Burton Angora's life. But in every other sense, it was the hardest, the very worst thing she had ever done. Her heartbeat was uncontrollable, more wild than it had ever been, her head felt like it would burst, her stomach was twisting and turning and contracting, threatening to throw up everything she had ever put in it. For a moment, all she could do was stare in horror at what she had done, as blood poured from the wound she had created, as Burton dropped to the floor, as the canon went off to signal his death. It was what she needed to do, but then why did she feel this way? Like a monster, dirty, tainted, disgusting, irredeemable.

And then she was running. Faster, harder, more desperately than she ever had. Not even just to get away from the bloodbath. To get away from Burton Angora, from the proof of the unforgivable thing she had just done. Except it was useless, because how could you run from yourself? Still, she sprinted away from the Cornucopia, ducking from a knife thrown her way, until she was among the buildings, weaving her way cluelessly through the old, ruined city as canons went off above.

Athena didn't stop running until the sounds of the fighting and struggling from the Cornucopia were long gone, but she kept walking quickly, afraid that she might never pick herself back up again if she stopped altogether. She reached up to touch her face, wiping the sweat from it, and was surprised when she felt dried tears there. She hadn't realized she had been crying. She had been sweating from running so hard in the heat, and too overwhelmed with what she had done to think straight, figured that was all it was. Angry with herself, she wiped it away furiously. She didn't have the right to tears, nor could she afford to succumb to them.

The silence that she walked in made her realize that the canons had stopped some time ago. The bloodbath at the Cornucopia was over. Even though she was far away from it regardless, she couldn't help but feel relieved.

"Athena? ATHENA!"

Athena whipped around towards the source of the noise, raising her spear and shield, ready for an attack. It was Kai, carrying a bow in his hand and arrows slung across his back. Trailing behind him was Paige Yarnn of District Eight. Athena lowered her spear, but only just. She kept her shield where it was.

"I've been looking for you!" Kai said, walking towards her.

Athena didn't lie to him and say she'd been looking for him too, because she hadn't. "I thought you'd be with the other Careers."

"I thought so too," Kai agreed. "Things at the Cornucopia got a little messy, I ended up losing them. Figured I'd find you first."

The fact that Kai considered her a priority in an alliance over the other Careers surprised her and made her feel guilty for forgetting about him completely. She only said, "You picked up a new friend, I see."

She nodded at Paige, who seemed to shrink back at Athena's acknowledgement. Had she seen what Athena did to her district partner? She must have. It felt like everyone in the world had. Like everyone knew she was a monster.

"Yeah," Kai said, looking a little annoyed about it. "I couldn't get her to leave me alone. I don't know what she wants me to do with her."

Athena studied Paige's blood-streaked face, the mace in her hand carefully, before saying, "Don't kill her. I've seen her with a mace before, she can do some serious damage. She could be useful in an alliance. Trust me," she added, when Kai looked unconvinced, though suddenly trust felt like more of a foreign concept to her than ever.

Kai hesitated, but finally said, "Alright, fine, then it's the three of us for now. But don't get too excited," he added to Paige, "who knows what the other Careers will want to do with you."

Athena had an imagine of Bastion Silver, Sapphire Satin, Nolan Bedford, and Lana Ryker all taking turns killing this girl who hadn't even reached fourteen yet, feeling her stomach turn unpleasantly. From the looks of it, Paige Yarnn had a similar image in her head, but simply swallowed and nodded once. And so with the high possibility of death hanging heavily all around, the three tributes walked.


	8. VIII

**VIII**

 

Athena wasn't sure how long they walked for, but it must have been for hours, since the sun was beginning to hang low in the sky. The sun would set soon and darkness would fall. She, Kai, and Paige were discussing where they should take shelter for the night when Paige stopped before one of the mounds of sand.

"What?" Kai demanded. Athena could tell Kai contemplated killing Paige more with each hour that passed. Her slowing them down did not help matters.

"What are these things?" Paige said, nodding at the mound. "Why is the sand so uneven in some places?"

"I don't think it's anything good," Athena said. "This place looks like an old war zone, I think it might be where they hid traps they had set for enemies. Some of them might still be working. Or they were placed there by the Gamemakers. Either way, we should steer clear."

Paige, however, picked up a rock and took a few steps back, evidently about to throw it. "Well, we should at least know what we're facing."

"Look, I think the farther away from it we are, the safer we are," Athena insisted, shaking her head.

"We don't even have time for this," Kai added. "It'll be night soon, we need some sort of shelter for the night. Unless you  _want_ to be out in the open in the dark."

Paige just shook her head. "It's not like this'll take hours. And then we'll know something new."

She took a few more steps back for good measure. Realizing there was no talking her out of it, Athena and Kai backed far away from Paige and the mound of sand. Paige took a deep breath, as though gathering her courage, before throwing the rock at the mound of sand, landing directly on top. For nearly a minute, nothing happened. Paige was just turning to speak to them when something finally did.

Two long metal, robotic arms burst out from the sand, with large hands that flexed its fingers experimentally. The hands darted out to grab at the person nearest, which was Paige. She let out a shriek as the hands lifted her as though she weighed nothing and roughly threw her closer to it. An extra arm appeared from the mound to hold her down. The robotic arms lifted in the air, and suddenly, spinning blades appeared in its hands, poised directly over Paige's body.

"HELP!" Paige screamed. "HELP ME! PLEASE!"

Athena ran forward to help her, though she didn't quite know how she would. Kai, however, held her back.

"What are you doing?" she said angrily, shoving herself out of his grip, but he just grabbed onto her again.

"Look!"

Athena looked back at Paige just as the blades descended on her, cutting through fabric and flesh alike. Paige shrieked in pain, writhing helplessly, but the extra hand held her down firmly. The spinning blades in each hand ripped through her, blood spurting out wildly. Athena watched in horror as even bits of muscle and organ flew out from the many wounds being created, as the canon sounded just as Paige stopped screaming and went limp. Still the blades did not stop slicing at every part of Paige's body.

"Athena, come on," Kai said urgently. "We're not safe here, come on!"

Athena tore her eyes away from Paige's destroyed body to see that he was right. Setting off that one trap seemed to set off a chain reaction, and now all the nearby mounds were going off, revealing the secret, deadly traps they hid. They were all different. Some exploded, some burst into flames, some threw knives in all directions. But they would all kill them if they didn't move now.

Athena and Kai broke into a run, weaving their way through the traps, Athena throwing up her shield to protect her from the brunt of the damage. Still, it was hard to remain unscathed in the midst of all the chaos. An explosion went off from the sand mound in front of them, and Athena dove out of the way, taking refuse behind a small shack that looked close to collapsing. She saw the way in front of her from behind the shack was clear of any sand mounds, so she got up and broke into a run, sprinting away from the current danger.

Athena didn't stop running until the sound of explosions and metal blades clashing against each other was long gone. She slowed to a stop, looking around to assess the situation. The desert landscape changed very little; if she didn't know any better, she would think she hadn't moved at all. She realized with a jolt that Kai was nowhere to be found. She had just assumed he was right behind her, hadn't stopped to check in all the panic of the situation. She wondered what happened to him, wondered uneasily if he was dead. But Athena couldn't remember the canon going off, and even in the chaos she left behind, she was certain she would've heard the canon.

Athena let out a sigh. She needed to find Kai again, but she didn't even know where to start. She couldn't exactly walk around screaming his name. In any case, it would have to wait until morning. Dusk had already fallen, and it wouldn't be long until they were in complete darkness. She still needed shelter.

Athena soon found a house that was relatively in tact, though half of the front door was missing. She searched the house carefully to ensure that she was alone, before drawing the curtains of the sitting room and settling there. She swung her backpack off her shoulders and opened it, deciding to look more thoroughly at what was inside.

There wasn't much food, but she knew she could make it last about two weeks if she travelled alone and preserved it carefully. If she found Kai or the other Careers, that would be another matter. There were two flasks of drinkable water, which she took a small sip of then. The box of first aid supplies mostly had supplies for cuts and similar wounds, meaning if she got sick or suffered any other sort of injuries, she'd be out of luck, but it was something. There were also three boxes of matches, two more daggers, and a small explosive that could only kill at extremely close range, but could still cause some serious damage. All in all, she had some decent supplies on her hands that could last her through the Games if she was smart.

When she heard Panem's anthem playing from outside, she crept over to the window and peered through carefully. It was the death recap for the day. That meant it was midnight. The recap showed the deaths in the order they died. First was Kirk Martin; then it was Burton Angora, then Paige Yarnn. Athena found she couldn't look at any of their faces being flashed up into the sky. Besides those three, Harvey Miller of District Nine had also died. Athena thought with a pang of his sister forced to carry on after the murder of her brother, probably after witnessing it for herself. The recap didn't account for injuries, even fatal ones. People could be dying at that very moment. Athena fought off waves of nausea at the thought.

She decided to rest in the sitting room. From her look around the house, she knew there were bedrooms, but the first floor offered more chances of escape without having to jump out a window from a considerable height. Besides, allowing herself to get too comfortable would only lead to weakness, to slipups that would get her killed. There was no sofa or anything in the sitting room, only a splintered wooden table and a few uncomfortable looking chairs, so she sat against a wall, leaning against her backpack. Setting her spear on one side of her and her shield on the other, she let out a sigh and closed her eyes.

Unsurprisingly, she didn't sleep. Athena couldn't even sit still long enough to manage it, constantly shifting restlessly. She had to resort to using the breathing exercises from the academy until she finally drifted into a fitful sleep.

In her dreams, she was home. District Four was almost exactly as she remembered it. It seemed to be summer, from the sun that shone day in and day out, the warmth of the days - not stifling and sticky like the arena, much more pleasant. There were some things that were odd, though. Her father wouldn't speak to her, to anyone at all. He wouldn't look at anyone either, just stare blankly ahead, and no matter where she stood in front of him, it never looked as though he was looking at Athena. Finnick was everywhere, too, which was odd, because Athena had never seen Finnick around except a few times in passing at the academy when they were both much younger. Mags was there, too, still knowing so much and speaking so little. Strangest of all, Kai was there, but if Athena was back in District Four, Kai couldn't be, but there he was, swimming at a leisurely pace at the beach. But something seemed to grab Kai by the ankle, dragging him down abruptly to the dark depths of the ocean below. Athena ran to help him, but Finnick held her back. She struggled against him furiously, not understanding why he wasn't helping, why no one was helping, but he only brought his lips to her ear and whispered, "He's not coming back."

"What are you - ?" Athena began, but just then, as though to prove his point, a canon sounded, signalling his death, that he was lost to the darkness forever.

Athena woke with a start. She wasn't home. She was still in that old, decrepit house in the arena, hot and uncomfortable and frightened. What she heard wasn't the canon, but someone tapping on the sitting room window. In the silence of the night, it seemed much louder. Standing on the other side of the window, peering at her through a gap in the curtains, was who Athena recognized as Marjorie Hopper. Athena grabbed her spear and shield, scrambling to her feet, her heart pounding in her chest. She didn't understand why she was still alive. Marjorie had caught her while she was still asleep, weak and unguarded. Why hadn't she jumped on the opportunity?

Before Athena could ask, Marjorie pointed up into the room. Athena looked up at the ceiling warily, and felt her heart stop. Near the middle of the ceiling was a nest of Tracker Jackers, genetically engineered wasps designed by the Capitol to attack anyone or anything that might pose any sort of threat. She didn't understand how she could have possibly missed it. Somehow, it must have been placed there while she slept. Athena looked back at Marjorie and understood. She hasn't been looking to kill her at all. Perhaps she had been looking for somewhere to rest for the night, looking into the window, saw the nest, then saw Athena. Marjorie meant only to warn her. But why? Why hadn't Marjorie left her to the mercy of the Tracker Jackers? Their stings could result in death. If Athena died, it would be one less person for Marjorie to have to worry about. In the arena, that was the difference between dying and making it out alive.

The nest was still and silent, meaning the Tracker Jackers were dormant, at least for the time being. Athena needed to leave before they became active again. She tiptoed out of the room carefully, giving the nest a wide berth, before hurrying down the hall and out of the house. Marjorie Hopper was still there, but she moved farther away from the window, farther from her. Athena looked to her for explanation as to why she just saved her life, her spear at the ready just in case, but Marjorie didn't give it. Instead, she pointed at the house's blue curtains, before bringing a finger to her neck and making a violent cutting motion. Then, she pointed at a nearby house with a red curtain, and gave a thumbs up. In short, houses with the red curtain were safe, houses with the blue curtains were dangerous. Perhaps that had all sorts of hidden traps, worse than Tracker Jacker nests.

"Why are you telling me - ?" Athena began, but before she could, Marjorie turned on the spot and ran away from her.

Athena watched her go, more lost than ever, before letting out a sigh and turning away. She knew already the nearby red-curtained house was occupied, from the shadows that passed over the curtain occasionally. Meaning she'd have to find somewhere else. Meaning she would have to wander, lost and alone, in the dark in the Hunger Games. The very last thing she wanted to do. Figuring this would happen to her on her first night, she set off, making sure she kept to shadowy corners, where the moonlight could not expose her. She kept her spear ready at all times, her shield clutched tightly in her other hand.

Finally, she found a house with a red curtain. It had two stories and a roof that had been completely blown off. Still, if Marjorie had been honest with her and wasn't trying to sabotage her, then this was as safe as any form of shelter here would get. Still, she searched the house very carefully, feeling satisfied when she found nothing. Then, she slept fitfully in the bathroom, because it was the only room in the house with no windows for people to see her.

 

*

 

Athena woke suddenly. Immediately alert, she sat in silence for a moment, straining her ears for any sort of noise. When she heard nothing, she got to her feet, picking up her spear and shield once more. Athena tiptoed over to the window in the kitchen nearby and saw that the sun was beginning to rise. A full day gone, and she was still alive. She supposed that was something to celebrate. Still, there was a long way to go. And she would need to find Kai again. She searched the house once more, ensuring that she was still quite alone and that no secret traps had appeared while she slept. When she didn't find anything, she had to acknowledge that Marjorie Hopper had been telling her the truth. The red-curtained houses were safe. But Athena still had no idea why Marjorie was willing to help her at all.

Still, there was no use dwelling on it, especially when she needed to keep moving. She sat at the splintered dining table on an uncomfortable, unsteady chair, and ate a breakfast consisting of half of one of the three rolls of bread and five blueberries, washing it down with a swig of water from one of the flasks. She rose to her feet again, before walking into the kitchen, looking around thoughtfully. There were several cupboards and drawers and a refrigerator, all still relatively in tact. From a quick glance inside, she knew nothing from the refrigerator was still good to eat, but there was still the cupboards.

"Come on," she murmured to herself, as she searched the kitchen desperately. "They wouldn't have just kept you if you were completely useless."

Finally, she found a box of oats. She knew immediately they were placed there by the Gamemakers, since there was no way they would be remotely good to eat if they were here ever since the war that must have taken place in this arena. Athena opened the box, before examining the oats inside carefully. When she could find nothing wrong with them, she took a handful of them and ate them tentatively. She cringed, realizing immediately they were stale, but food was food. Sealing the box again carefully and thinking it was really no surprise that Gamemakers would purposely give them stale food, she placed the box in her bag and straightened up again. When she looked out the window of the kitchen, her heart stopped.

The girl from District Five, Nina Brites, was standing a distance away, a bow and arrow in her hands, aiming directly at Athena. When Nina fired, Athena leapt out of the way of the window, but when no arrow came flying into the room, she blinked, tiptoeing back over to the window to see what was happening. The arrow was lodged into the brick wall next to the window. Athena's eyes found Nina again, who was standing in horror at her failure. She was inexperienced with a bow, and now Athena knew it, too. She was even paler than she remembered, a complete contrast to her jet black hair that fell down her back, her bright blue eyes wide with fear. The girl was around thirteen, but something about her then seemed even younger.

Nina persisted, however. She raised her bow again and fired another arrow at her. Athena backed away hastily as the arrow made it into the window, but it was still a relatively weak shot, simply falling lamely to the floor. Athena raised her spear, a lump in her throat, wondering if she could get a good shot at Nina from this distance. She knew she wasn't likely to miss her target if she used her spear, but then she would be without a weapon, and Nina was relatively far away. It was a long way to go to retrieve her spear, especially when it was out in the open and she didn't have the weapon with which she was most skilled. Athena was about to pull out one of the daggers and try her luck with one of them, when Nina raised her bow and fired another arrow at her.

That time she nearly succeeded in hitting Athena. She had to duck quickly to get out of its path, collapsing against the wall, and she looked up to see that the arrow was lodged into the wall, right where her chest had been moments ago. She looked back out the window at Nina, who was walking closer to her. Again, Athena reached for her knife, her heart pounding wildly in her chest, when a knife appeared out of nowhere, sinking into Nina's side. Athena covered her mouth with her hand to keep herself from letting out a gasp, watching in horror as Angus Keld of District Ten came running into sight from the window, yanking the knife out of Nina's side abruptly, blood spurting out wildly from the wound. Nina shrieked in pain, but Angus slapped his hand over her mouth to muffle the noise. Then, just as suddenly as he appeared, he took the still bloody knife and slit Nina Brites' throat in one swift, violent motion. Blood burst from her neck, spraying Angus with it, but he barely seemed to notice. He simple released Nina's now limp body, allowing her to fall to the sandy ground below as the canon went off above.

Athena heard the sound of more voices approaching, calling out Angus' name. He was in an alliance. He had people to back him up in a fight. Four, five of them, from the sounds of it. In spite of his size and his muscles, Athena stood a chance against Angus Keld in a fight by himself, but if he had others, she was as good as dead. She scrambled away, getting to her feet and racing to the front door. By the time Angus Keld and his allies were walking closer to the house to see who Nina had been firing at, Athena was out the door and long gone, the sound of Nina Brites' screams ringing in her ears.

She only slowed to walk when the sun was high in the sky, the heat stifling and her body threatening to overheat. She took one of the flasks from her backpack, bringing it to her lips and drinking a little more, putting the flask back in her bag before she could be tempted to drink too much and waste what little water she had. When she had caught her breath and her heartbeat was as steady as it would get, she took a moment to evaluate her situation, decide what she would do. She knew she needed to find Kai, and likely the other Careers, too, but she had no idea how to go about it. Walking around screaming their names would get her killed. She had no idea how to navigate this ruined city, especially as the scenery changed so little that it felt like she was barely moving at all at times. Still, she needed to find them  _somehow._

Athena knew there were years where the Careers of the time would camp out at the Cornucopia. That way, they had access to all the weapons and supplies they could need or want, and no other tribute could get what they needed without having to face them first - which usually ended in their deaths. It was a good place to start looking - at least, she really had nowhere else  _to_ start. Even if Kai and the other Careers weren't there, she might be able to pick up a few more supplies while she was there. The only problem was that she had no idea how to find the Cornucopia. It was always in the middle of the arena, but Athena didn't know how far away she was from the middle. Still, she had to at least try. Cursing herself for not paying more attention to where she was running, Athena set off north, figuring that it was the best she could do for now.

Time dragged on impossibly slow. There was an hour in every minute, a full day in every hour. The sun burned relentlessly down on her, heavy and hot. It made movement uncomfortable, took away any desire to continue moving quickly, made her want to collapse, slightly light-headed. She was sweating nearly everywhere one  _could_ sweat, in spite of how light her clothes were. Even walking in the shade when she could didn't do much to help. Her throat was dry, but she was too frightened of what would happen if she wasted all her water to drink much. She was on edge, hyper-aware of every single part of herself, of everywhere around her. The arena was large, but it seemed too small to host all of them. It felt as though there were people all around, watching her, waiting for just the right moment to jump up and kill her then and there. And even as she walked, no matter how far she went, the Cornucopia was nowhere in sight.

Athena glanced up at the sky. The sun was beginning to fall lower and lower on the horizon. It wouldn't be all that long until darkness fell, and for all she knew, she was farther from the Cornucopia - and from Kai - than ever. As the sun began to set and the sky was a blend of pinks and reds and oranges, Athena gave up on finding Kai for the day. If it was difficult to find him in the light of day, finding him in the dark would be a nearly impossible task. Athena hadn't heard the canon since Angus killed Nina, which meant Kai was still alive. She would have to find somewhere to rest for the night and try again tomorrow.

Just as she came to this conclusion, she heard a rustle of movement from behind her. Athena whipped around, her spear at the ready, hardly daring to breathe as she looked around for the source of the noise. She crept forward silently, her eyes darting around anxiously, searching. She was beginning to wonder if she imagined the noise when a girl came running at her from behind a wrecked building, swinging a mace at her wildly.

Athena ducked, then raised her shield to cover her face when the girl swung at her again. Athena used the shield to force her back roughly, knocking the girl off balance, looking at her face and recognizing her as Gwenith Miller. She regained her balance, aiming a punch at Athena, who dodged with ease. Gwentith pushed her, knocking Athena off balance, then swung at her again with the mace. Athena just managed to move away, but the spikes of the mace still grazed her arm. Hissing in pain and still a little unsteady, Athena fell onto the hot sand below with a soft thud.

Gwenith moved closer, triumph in her eyes. But Athena was not quite yet resigned to death. Falling down once was only defeat if you let it be. She hooked her feet around the girl's ankle and jerked them suddenly, forcing her to trip and fall. As Gwenith fell, Athena rose, ready to attack once more. Gwenith recovered quickly, beginning to rise, but just as she did, Athena shoved the blade of her spear right in her chest.

Gwenith made no noise except for a soft gasp. Her body tensed up, her green eyes widened. Athena removed her spear from Gwenith's chest, and she collapsed back onto the floor like a ragdoll. Blood spilled out from where Athena stabbed her, turning the yellow sand a dark red. When Gwenith's body began to go limp, Athena felt her own life leave her body, too. Anxiety, disgust at herself swelling up like a balloon inside of her, and the stinging sensation in her eyes were not from blowing sand getting in them, but from tears.

 _Hudson was right_ , Athena thought, panic rising inside of her. _Fish are harder to kill. They move quicker and always run from death and never fool themselves into thinking they're invincible_.

Gwenith, still struggling to live, began to choke on her own blood. There was so much  _blood_. Soaking the girl's clothes through, bleeding into the sand. How could one body, short and thin as this girl's, have so much of it?

Gwenith looked at her, and she couldn't speak, but there was some sort of silent plea in her eyes. She mouthed something to Athena, who realized, her stomach turning, that it was her brother's name. Her brother who died yesterday. Athena understood.

She raised her spear. Gwenith almost seemed to relax. And like a good monster, Athena drove the spear straight through her heart. Her body went still, her eyes staring at her unseeingly, and the canon sounded. Gwenith Miller was with her brother again - or as close to him as she could get.

Athena lowered her spear, her arms now loosely at her sides. She backed away a few steps from what she had done, bile rushing up her throat. Nausea and guilt and horror at her own actions filled her up dizzyingly, her head pounding and her heart racing. Looking at Gwenith Miller's limp, dead, bloody body, Athena saw more clearly than ever that victor was synonymous with murderer, with monster. That was what she was now, whether she won or not. Somehow, Gwenith's blood had gotten on her. Athena prayed it would come off easily, but thought it would be what she deserved if it never did. She was tainted forever now, filthy and guilty and monstrous; she could never really be clean.

"Hey, Gwenith?" a voice called out. "Did you take care of that girl over there? You've been gone a while."

Talking so loudly was a death sentence in the arena, how did this person not know that? There was the sound of another voice murmuring something. Two of them. Both in an alliance with Gwenith. Athena was likely capable of winning in a fight against two people, but she knew she couldn't do it now. Not when she was borderline hysterical from guilt and grief, not with Gwenith Miller's body right there. And like the coward she likely was, Athena turned on the spot and ran before they could see her.

Athena darted between wrecked buildings, big and small, her legs carrying her far away from the proof of the monstrous things she had done. She heard nobody chasing after her and knew she was as alone as she could get but she didn't stop running until she saw a flash of red. Athena looked around and saw a small house, half-hidden by the wreckage and debris from other buildings. A good place to hideaway for a time. And what was more, its windows were covered by a bright red curtain. If she was looking for somewhere safe to hide for the night, she had found it.

Athena let out a breath, every part of her suddenly feeling like lead. She trudged forward, her spear and shield held loosely in her hands, her eyes trained on the door. Once she was on the rickety, demolished doorstep, her hand on the cracked doorknob, a voice called out to her.

"You! Turn around slowly! Don't try anything, there's two of us and one of you!"

Athena became completely still, her body rigid. Her grip tightened on the doorknob, her breath caught in her throat. The part of her that had been exhausted, drained, unfocused disappeared like smoke. She was now more alert than ever, aware of everything around her, though it was too late now. The voice, feminine and a little high-pitched, seemed vaguely familiar, but she couldn't put a face or a name to it.

Facing the inevitable, she let out a shaky breath and turned slowly. Standing side by side was Rowan Lindell of District Seven and Cara Savera of District Six. Rowan was holding an ax tightly in his hand, and he had a sword sheathed at his hip. Cara Savera had a knife in each hand, and more sheathed at her own hip. Athena was oddly surprising by the sight of them. Not that it was necessarily surprising that they were going to try and kill her; it was more that out of all the ways she had imagined her own demise in the arena, she never imagined it to be from their hands. Athena tightened her grip on her spear, raising her shield, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet, ready to spring into action at any moment.

"What's someone like you doing out by yourself?" Rowan called. "I would've thought you'd be strutting around with the Careers by now."

"Funny the way things work out," Athena said, licking her lips.

Confusion was beginning to nag at her. Rowan and Cara had had her at their mercy for nearly a minute now, even longer, depending on how long it had been since they first saw her, unguarded and unaware. Why was she not dead yet? Why hadn't they at least attacked yet? She didn't know why they would  _want_ to keep her alive. Were they worried they wouldn't be able to kill her? Had they killed anyone yet? Had they even gotten into a fight yet?

"You don't seem very scared," Rowan noted.

"Should I be?" Athena responded drily.

"Considering where you are, I'd say so," Rowan said.

"Maybe if I knew what you were going to do to me, I'd be able to react a little more appropriately," Athena said, mostly to stall for time, trying to figure out the best solution. "But we've just been standing around for a while now and you haven't done anything with those fancy-looking weapons."

"Well, it's obvious what we're going to do, isn't it?" Cara demanded. "There's only one thing we could do. It's two against one. We're going to kill you."

Athena looked between them closely. Outnumbering her definitely gave them an advantage, but she could tell they weren't nearly as experienced with fighting as she was. If she was quick, if she was careful, she could likely kill them both. But after Gwenith Miller - hell, even after Burton Angora, still fresh in her mind, she didn't know if she could really bring herself to do it. It might have just been the timing. It might have been that it was Rowan Lindell and Cara Savera instead of the Careers trying to pick a fight with her. It might have been that a part of her knew it still wasn't quite a fair fight, that she could still kill the both of them if she really wanted to do so. Athena didn't know. All she knew was that she couldn't bring herself to get any more blood on her hands just then.

"There's another option," Athena finally said. "An alliance."

Rowan and Care stared at her, stunned into silence. Athena was just wondering rather heavily if she would have to get more blood on her hands tonight whether she liked it or not when the silence was broken.

"An alliance," Rowan repeated. "The three of us?"

"Why not?" Athena shrugged, though her mind was bursting with all the reasons  _why not._ Suddenly, she was wondering what Mags and Finnick would have to say about this decision.

 _Well, they did tell me to follow my instincts,_ Athena thought.

She also wondered what Kai would have to say about her actions if he was here. For a moment, Athena was almost glad she hadn't found him.

"Why would we want you?" said Cara, her tone almost accusatory.

"Well," Athena said slowly, "I've killed two tributes so far and I'm pretty sure I can kill more, so..."

"And how do we know the next two tributes you will won't be us?" Cara pointed out.

"You make it sound like I was the one just talking about killing you two," Athena said, raising her eyebrows. When neither Rowan nor Cara said anything, Athena added, a little lamely, "We liked each other in training - well, we got along, anyway."

"Yeah, that was training," Rowan said, looking annoyed at this answer. "Our lives weren't on the line then."

"Our lives were on the line from the Reaping," Athena retorted, shaking her head. "Our lives were on the line from when we turned twelve. That's just how it is. Look, you don't have to take me, but if we're not allies, we're enemies, and if we're enemies, there's really no way this interaction ends well for all of us."

"Is that a threat?" Cara demanded.

"No, it's a fact," she replied. "One we all know is true. The very same one you were giving me not too long ago. I don't want to fight you two, but I will if I have to. Don't think I won't."

Rowan and Cara exchanged meaningful glances.

"She did help us - in training, I mean," Rowan murmured.

"It's like you said, it was just training!" Cara retorted.

"She still didn't have to," Rowan shrugged. "And she's a Career."

"Which means we can't trust her!"

"Or it means she actually knows what she's doing," he said. "She knows how to fight - how to kill. We could use that. You're good with survival skills, right?"

Rowan directed the question at her.

"Do I look dead to you?" she replied evasively, avoiding pointing out the fact that she hadn't really  _needed_ to use any survival skills these past two days.

"And you really are alone?" Cara added, looking at her distrustfully. "You don't have your little Career friends waiting to back you up?"

Athena shrugged, spreading her hands though to show she had nothing to hide. "If I did, they probably would've shown up by now."

Rowan and Cara exchanged looks once more. Rowan shrugged at Cara and nodded, just slightly. Athena's eyes slid immediately over to Cara before she could feel too relieved. Cara hesitated, seeming to be momentarily at war with herself, before sighing.

"Fine - but you better not try anything!"

Cara Savera couldn't be older than fourteen and probably reached just above Athena's shoulders, but Athena knew better than to point out how little intimidation suited her. She simply nodded, her shoulders slumping, relieved. She had avoided trouble - for the time being, at least - and even gained two allies to watch her back. Still, she didn't know if she felt too safe. Both parties seemed at least slightly reluctant to form the alliance, and it was clear Athena didn't fully have their trust, the same way they didn't have hers. It only took a second to betray someone, even less to act on impulse, on instinct. It may turn out that Athena would have to watch her back more than ever.

Besides, Athena didn't even know how long this alliance would last. Kai had already made it clear that he didn't want an alliance with anyone but other Careers. She could only imagine his reaction if he found her with Rowan Lindell and Cara Savera by her side. And how would the other Careers act, if they were there? She supposed she could try to convince them to include Rowan and Cara in the alliance, but six was already a relatively large number for an alliance, and she wasn't sure they would be willing to add more. What would happen when they crossed paths? What if Rowan and Cara realized Athena was looking for Kai and killed her before she or Kai could cause them any harm? There were so many things that could happen, so many things that could go wrong, it made her head spin.

Then again, Athena thought, alliances were not made in the arena to last. They were made to help a tribute survive long enough to become a victor. Athena didn't need to care what happened to any of them, as long as she got out alive. She was looking out for herself and no one else, and she needed to remember that. For now, this alliance had saved her life, and whatever happened next would be dealt with when it came.

So finally, she said wearily, "Great. This should be fun. Come on, we should stay in here - " she gestured to the house - "for the night. Unless it's your style to stand out in the open?"

Rowan and Cara hesitated, before walking forward toward her. Not turning away, Athena opened the door and allowed it to swing open with a loud creak. She sucked in a breath as they passed her, clutching her spear so tightly in her hand she lost the feeling in it. However, neither Rowan nor Cara made any attack, simply walking inside the house. Athena let out the breath she had been holding. There was no going back now.

And with that thought in mind, Athena crossed the threshold into the dark, ruined house.


	9. IX

**IX**

 

After the death recap, they decided to call it a night. Now that there were three of them, the logical approach was to sleep in shifts. Athena volunteered to take the first shift before either of them could. She wasn't about to forget the reluctance on their faces when they agreed to an alliance with her, or the obvious distrust they still had toward her. She couldn't put it past them to kill her in her sleep. They looked wary, but let her keep watch. Rowan, in a fit of chivalry, insisted that Cara, as the youngest, slept on the mostly in tact sofa. Despite her protests that she was fine sleeping on the floor, Cara finally gave in a stretched out on the raggedy sofa. It seemed she realized it was the most luxury she would get in the arena.

Athena settled in a spot by the window, drawing the curtains strategically so she could look out of the window without being seen by anyone outside. She kept her eyes glued to the window, but her ears were strained to pick up noise from all around her - the movements from enemies outside and her new allies behind her. She kept her spear and shield held tightly in her hand, ready to spring up at any moment.

"Hey, Maris," said Rowan. Both he and Cara were making a point of not calling her by her first name. She supposed they thought it would help her understand that they were destined to become enemies, be it in a matter of weeks or days. Cara was already fast asleep on the sofa, or at least appearing to be, her breathing deep and even. "Don't stay on watch all night. The last thing we need is for you to be off your guard tomorrow because you're tired. Wake me up in a few hours and I'll take over."

"I will," Athena said.

 _No, I won't,_ Athena thought, and indeed she didn't, staying dutifully at the window until the sun began to rise and no danger had come for them, nothing eventful happening except the canon sounding once a little before dawn.

Blowing out a breath, Athena rose slowly, figuring it was best to wake Cara and Rowan up now. She shook them each awake carefully, slowly, lest they think her a threat and attack her. She doubted they needed much of an excuse to do it as it was. They bolted upright, alert as soon as they were awake, but they didn't try to attack her. They relaxed once they seemed to remember where they were, but only just. Rowan looked out the window, squinting at the bright light of the rising sun that was bleeding into the room, and frowned.

"You were supposed to wake me up!" he looked over at Athena, irritated.

"You said you didn't want me to be off my guard," Athena said shortly, meaning to stop the argument before it could start. "I'm not off my guard. No damage done, right?"

Rowan still didn't look very happy, but he let it go. Cara pressed on.

"Did anything happen while we were sleeping?"

"The canon went off once, but other than that, no," Athena shook her head.

"One less person in our way," Cara said, trying to look unconcerned. "But we'll be next if we don't find some food soon."

"You haven't found food yet?" Athena asked, raising her eyebrows, suddenly very aware of the food she was storing in her bag.

"No," Rowan replied. "Why?"

Athena took out the box of oats and the box of assorted rations she kept in her bag, tossing them both onto the rickety table that sat between them. She ignored the nagging voice in her mind, pointing out she could make the food last for so much longer if she didn't have to worry about feeding two others. Still, when she noted the hungry faces on Rowan's and Cara's faces as she looked at the food, she felt the need to speak up.

"We obviously can't each much of it if we want it to last, though," she said. "We'll only be able to have a bit for now."

"No kidding," Cara snapped at her. "We're not stupid. Just because we're not little rick kid Careers like you doesn't mean we're pigs who eat everything in front of us. This is the first time we've seen food since we got to the arena."

Athena stared at the two of them, blinking. Then she looked down at the food she found, but instead saw the empty shelves in her kitchen cupboards, felt the mournful sensation in her stomach as she went to beg hungry because she gave up parts of her own servings to make sure Calypso had enough to eat, heard the Capitol's simpering gasps as she told her story of applying for Tesserae, as though none of them could imagine a fate so horrible as not having money. Then she looked back between Rowan and Cara and saw that they did not know her or understand her at all. They saw her district number and its history and thought they knew all they needed to know. She wondered if they heard what she said in her interview with Caesar Flickerman. Maybe they didn't care. Maybe they were like Finnick, wondering if she made it up for attention and sympathy from potential sponsors.

It didn't matter. It didn't mean anything. It wasn't like they were ever going to be friends. In any case, Athena didn't think she could blame them for the assumption. She hadn't grown up in District Six or Seven, had never even stepped foot in either place, but she had heard enough to know that life there was generally worse than life in District Four. Food was harder to come by, Peacekeepers were automatically more violent, and being Reaped in the Games was universally considered a death sentence. Maybe if she had lived that life, she'd hate herself on principle, too.

So all she said was, "Right. Well, just a reminder."

They each took a handful of oats and a tiny portion of each of everything from the rations. Athena took even less than Rowan and Cara, figuring they needed the food more than she did. They each sat at different parts of the sitting room, leaning against the wall. They ate in silence, doing the best they could to make their sparse breakfast last, until Athena finally broke it.

"So, how did you two meet up?" Athena asked, looking between them, trying to get a better idea of their personalities.

"Well, I was kind of on my own before the gong could even ring, wasn't I?" Cara said bitterly, and the sight of Kirk Martin leaping off the plate, the blown bits that remained of him, flashed through Athena's mind. "I found Rowan along the way. I remember Kirk saying he was thinking of forming an alliance with him, so I figured I'd try it so I wasn't alone."

Athena nodded, her eyes darting over to Rowan. Cara made sense, since she had no district partner to turn to after Kirk killed himself, but what about Rowan? Why wasn't he with Amber Cedara, who was perfectly capable, perfectly intimidating, and to Athena's knowledge, perfectly alive?

Rowan seemed to struggle with himself for a moment, before finally saying lamely, "Amber and I decided it was best if we did this separately."

Athena suspected that there was more to it than that, but she didn't press him, only nodding.

"What about you?" Rowan asked. "We thought you'd be with the other Careers. Or at least your district partner."

"I  _was_ with Kai," she replied. "We got split up. Haven't seen him since."

She decided to leave out the fact that she'd been looking for him ever since they were separated. She was still trying to figure out a way that she could reunite with Kai without her new alliance causing a bloodbath she might not survive. If she got Kai alone, she might be able to convince him, but if she found him with the other Careers? She hadn't found a way to make that work yet.

Once they were done eating, Athena pulled out one of the flasks of water. She took a swig, before tossing the flask to Cara. Then, she pulled out the other flask and threw it to Rowan.

"You've really had it made these past two days, haven't you?" Cara said, tossing the flask back to her. It was hard to miss the resentment laced in her words.

Athena shrugged, getting to her feet as Rowan tossed the other flask back to her. She said, more than a little sarcastically, "Well, you know. Little rich kid Career, that's me."

In the final moments before they left the house, they each found some small way to fix themselves up. Athena stretched, keeping those deep breathing exercised in mind and tucking back any loose strands of hair. Her hair was surprisingly in tact, so she kept it as it was. Rowan straightened out every part of his outfit meticulously, until nothing was out of place. Cara redid the blonde plait that fell down her back. Her movements were awkward and clumsy and fumbling. Athena could tell she wasn't used to having to braid her hair on her own. Athena was tempted, for just a second, to offer to do it for her, but shook it off. That was something friends did for each other. They weren't friends. Besides, Cara Savera hardly seemed the type to be appreciative of such a gesture.

Once they were all ready, Athena led the way out, still not certain of what she would do if and when she reunited with Kai. Together, they walked through simmering waves of heat, passing ruined buildings, trudging up sand as they went. Somehow, having two other people by her side made her feel more exposed than protected. It hit her that she wasn't even entirely sure that Rowan and Cara would back her up in a fight, or if they would turn on her the first opportunity they got. She was beginning to wonder whether this alliance was a good idea at all or only a reckless decision made in a moment of fear, if she should've taken her chances in a fight, if she should just leave Rowan and Cara to the other Careers if they came across them. Athena pushed this aside, just as Cara spoke.

"Where are we going?" she demanded.

"I didn't realize we needed to have a destination," Athena said vaguely, deciding not to mention her search for Kai until she had a plan worked out.

"Then why the hell are we moving at all?" Cara said.

"Staying in one place is a death sentence in the arena, I'm sure you've seen enough Games to know that," Athena said simply. "It's good to keep moving."

"Unless we walk right into a trap."

"If we stay in one place, the Gamemakers will bring the trap to us," Athena said, certain Cara simply wanted to argue. Cara was so brash and bold and hardheaded, it was surprising to see her age show through in her behaviour.

"She's right," Rowan said, unexpectedly.

Rowan's opinion apparently proved once and for all that Athena was right. At least, Cara stopped arguing, though she didn't look very happy about it. Hours went by as they walked, and they didn't encounter anyone. Athena felt jumpy, expecting an attack at any moment. They had no set sense of direction. She still didn't know how to find the Cornucopia, and it was hard to have any other set sense of destination when everything seemed the exact same. When they reached an area where there were large mounds of uneven sand, Athena stopped abruptly. An image of Paige Yarnn being torn to shreds flashed through her mind, making her blood run cold.

"What?" Rowan asked, looking back at Athena when she stopped. "What is it?"

"We need to go another way," she replied. "Preferably now."

"Why?"

"They're traps. Those mounds of sands are hiding booby traps. I don't know if they're from the Gamemakers or from the way that must have happened here, but it's deadly. I've seen someone die from it. Let's just - let's just say it's not pretty."

"Okay," said Cara. "So which way do - "

She stopped talking abruptly at the sound of approaching voices. They all froze, and Athena strained her ears to hear them better. They weren't necessarily quiet, but they were too far away to be very easy to hear. Athena made out about four or five of them in all, but she wasn't able to make out any of the voices clearly enough to recognize them. Still more than she would have preferred, and they were approaching rapidly.

Rowan opened his mouth to speak, but Athena brought a finger to her lips and shook her head. She motioned for them to follow her, then hurried in the opposite direction of the voices, manoeuvring carefully around the mounds of sand. She wasn't sure if they would trust her enough to follow her, but if they wanted to stay and try their luck against that group of tributes, she couldn't stop them. Luckily, they followed behind soon. She reached the side of a relatively short house with a window ledge that would make it easy to climb to the roof. Nearby, there was a bow with a single arrow on the ground. She looked from the bow and arrow to the mounds of sand, suddenly getting an idea. Athena picked up the bow and arrow, before climbing up to the roof of the house with ease.

"Come on!" Athena whispered urgently, when she saw Rowan and Cara still on the ground, staring up at her. A loud laugh in the distance, getting closer and closer. "Quickly!"

Finally, they scrambled up onto the roof after her. Athena looked around, before finding another building behind them, a little taller, but still possible to climb. Taking a running start, Athena jumped off the roof of the house and grabbed onto the edge of the roof of the second building. She hoisted herself up, swinging her legs up onto the roof and getting to her feet smoothly. Again, Rowan and Cara hesitated to follow. Athena began to get impatient. There wasn't time for any of this. The group of tributes would be there soon, and she, Rowan, and Cara needed to be far away for this plan to work.

"Come  _on!_ " she hissed. "I'll help you up, just hurry!"

Another shout of laughter. Rowan and Cara exchanged nervous glances; then Cara ran forward, jumping off of the roof, reaching for the edge of the roof Athena stood on. Athena scrambled forward, grabbing onto Cara's hand just before she could begin to fall. Cara was short and thin, easy to pull up to the roof. Rowan, apparently inspired by Cara's actions, ran forward and jumped off the roof of the house. Athena reached forward to grasp onto his hand, and Cara helped pull him up.

As Rowan got to his feet, Athena looked over at the distant mounds of sand thoughtfully. She would prefer if they were farther away, since they would be safer that way, but Athena could see flashes of movement that indicated the approach of the tributes. They didn't have time to go any farther, especially if Rowan and Cara wanted to wait a few minutes before following her anywhere. Besides, the father they went, the more difficult it would be to make her shot, and she only had one arrow. She couldn't afford to miss.

"Back up," Athena said abruptly. "And when I say back, I mean  _back_. As far as you can get without falling off the roof."

For once, they did as she said without argument. Athena raised the bow, pulling back the arrow, aiming carefully. She had never been particularly brilliant at archery, but she had never been terrible, either. She took a deep breath, aimed the arrow at one of the mounds of sand in the middle, and fired. The arrow landed right on target. She let out a breath, relieved, and backed up to stand between Cara and Rowan on the other side of the roof.

"Now what?" Rowan whispered. "Do we run? Do we jump onto more rooftops?"

"Now we wait," Athena said, as calmly as she could. "There's going to be a time where we need to run, but for now we wait."

Athena stared at the arrow, sticking out of the mound of sand, with bated breath. It took just over a minute for the booby traps to activate, meaning they had another thirty seconds to go, which was also around how long it would take for the tributes to reach the sand mounds. If the booby traps backfired on them in any way, that was her only plan ruined. They were also standing on a rooftop, meaning they were perfectly visible to any and all enemies, and she wasn't sure of how far running would get them. Athena was turning away, searching desperately for another plan, when she heard Rowan and Cara gasp on either side of her. She looked back to see a giant, deadly sharp spike burst from one of the mounds of sand at top speed. It flew about fifteen feet into the air, before disintegrating into nothingness.

So, one booby trap worked. And it probably triggered all of the rest of them. Athena stood at attention as silence fell all around, nothing moving or making a sound, not even the approaching tributes. Then, whispering voices and footsteps approaching once more. A booted foot appeared from around the corner of one of the buildings just as a large explosion went off from the sand mounds. By instinct, Athena's arms flew up to protect herself, but she peeked through the gaps in her arms to see that, as expected, the sand mounds had dissolved into chaos, all sorts of deadly traps and explosions bursting out.

"THAT'S OUR CUE TO LEAVE!" Athena shouted to be heard over the noise. "FOLLOW ME, AND  _PLEASE_ DON'T TAKE YOUR TIME WITH IT."

With that, she lowered herself from the edge of the roof and began climbing down the building, using windowsills and craters in the side of the building as foot and handholds. Once firmly on the ground, Athena waited impatiently for Rowan and Cara as they struggled to follow her lead and climb down the building. The moment Rowan's feet hit the sandy ground after Cara, Athena took off at a sprint away from the war zone that was the sand mounds, only looking back to see if Rowan and Cara were following and weren't in any imminent danger. It was only when the sounds of explosions and chaos of the sand mounds had disappeared completely that Athena finally stopped running, slowing to a stop.

She wiped the sweat from her forehead as she caught her breath, but the gesture seemed rather pointless when she was sweating so much everywhere. Her throat was painfully dry, so cursing the desert heat and missing the moderate weather of District Four more than ever, she took out one of the flasks and took a long swig. The water was too warm to be truly refreshing, but it was enough. Once finished, Athena handed the flask to Cara, who was standing to her left, fanning her flushed face and panting heavily. Athena fished out the other flask to hand to Rowan, who stood, slightly hunched over, to her right, clutching a stitch in his side. There was a moment of silence as Rowan and Cara drank and all three of them caught their breath. Then, as they handed the flasks back to her, the silence was broken.

"Alright, I'm all about giving credit where it's due," Cara said, "and that was pretty brilliant."

"Yeah," Rowan agreed. "That was some quick-thinking back there."

Athena struggled with herself for a moment. She really didn't feel all that clever or brilliant, especially when her mind wandered back to Paige Yarnn's destroyed body; then again, Rowan and Cara were showing the beginnings of respect - grudging respect, perhaps, but still respect - and that had to be a step up. Not willing to lose that respect too quickly, she adjusted the straps of her backpack and said, "Thanks. I do what I can. But we still shouldn't get too comfortable. I know it was pretty loud back there, but I didn't hear any canons, did you? They're all still alive."

"They won't be anywhere near us, though, right?" Cara frowned. "If they had any sense, they'd go back where they came, which was away from us."

"Are you willing to bet your life on it?" Athena said bluntly.

That silenced any argument. It also hardened their resolve to keep moving, so they set off again, walking in silence, their boots kicking up sand. Athena was just starting to wonder whether she should give up her quest to find the Cornucopia again, if maybe stopping trying to find Kai she'd end up inadvertently finding him, when she heard voices again. She, Rowan, and Cara all froze in their spots, exchanging looks.

"What do we do?" Cara whispered.

Athena paused, before grabbing Rowan and Cara by the fronts of their jackets and pulling them back behind a nearby building. For once, they made no argument or protest, keeping quiet, and so they all stood in silence, hardly daring to breathe. Athena clutched on tightly to her spear and shield in her hands, waiting for voices to indicate how many of them there were, or even who they were.

"You guys definitely saw someone here, right?" said a voice Athena couldn't quite place. "Like, more than one person, too?"

"Yeah," said a second voice. "Should we split up and find them?"

"No," said the first voice. "If they tried running, we would've heard them. They're right here, hiding somewhere. Come out now, wherever you are!" they called, raising their voice, not a care in the world about other people hearing them. "We know you're here! You know we're going to find you, might as well come out and end this quickly!"

Athena, Rowan, and Cara all exchanged looks, but none of them moved. Athena shook her head just slightly, indicating for them not to move.

"They're probably too scared to move," said a third voice, and Athena's heart stopped. "We've all seen enough Games to know how people get in situations like this. Nolan had a good point, Sapphire, we should probably just look for them. From what I saw, there's less of them than there are of us, they won't get out of this alive."

Kai. The third voice belonged to Kai. And from the sounds of it, he was with the other Careers. It had to be the Careers, who else could talk and move so loudly in the arena, without any fear of who could be listening? God, this was not how she was planning for this to happen.

"Thank you, Kai!" said the second voice, clearly belonging to Nolan Bedford, of District Two. "Glad to see someone who wants to get this done and doesn't want to be dramatic about everything."

"This is a  _show_ , you two, remember?" said the first voice, belonging to Sapphire Satin of District One. "It's  _supposed_ to be dramatic. Try not to suck the fun out of it."

While the Careers argued over the best way to kill them, Athena, Rowan, and Cara exchanged meaningful glances again.

"We have to go out there," Cara whispered.

"Have you lost your  _mind?_ " Rowan demanded.

"I'm with Rowan," Athena said. She couldn't think of a way a confrontation could end without chaos ensuing, and she wanted to get out of there and give herself more time to think of how she could make an alliance with the Careers and with Rowan and Cara work out. "Best course of action seems to be to get the hell out of here."

"How?" Cara demanded. "They'll either see us or hear us or both. We need to fight."

"We're outnumbered," Athena pointed out.

"And they're all Careers!" Rowan added.

" _She's_ a Career!" Cara said, jabbing her thumb at Athena.

"Yeah, one against five of them," Rowan scoffed. "You do the math."

"Well, we don't - " Cara began.

"Shut up!" Athena hissed, noticing that the Careers were finishing their argument.

"Alright, we've made up our minds!" Sapphire called. "If you don't come out right now, we'll come looking for you - and we  _will_ find you. Last chance!"

"See? We don't have any other options," Cara whispered, then moved away.

"Cara,  _don't_ ," Rowan said, just as Athena said, "Just wait a minute - "

But it was too late. Cara ran out of hiding, right into plain sight. Half furious and half terrified, Rowan followed after her. With little other choice, wishing sorely that she took her chances in a fight with Rowan and Cara last night, Athena did the same.

Standing about ten feet away were all the other Careers, who immediately examined them and sized them up. Athena did the same, and was disappointed yet unsurprised by the fact that they were all in a relatively good state. Her eyes fell on Kai and lingered there, seeing that he was staring right back at her.

"Well, there we are!" said Sapphire, her bright blue eyes alright with malice. "Was that so hard?"

"Athena!" Kai said. "I was wondering if I'd find you."

"Don't get too excited," said Bastion Silver of District One, brushing his brown hair out of his small, black eyes. "Look at who she's with."

Kai's gaze flickered over to Rowan and Cara as if he hadn't really noticed them there before, before returning to Athena, saying, "What happened after we got split up?"

"Picked up some new people on the way, that's all," Athena said calmly, her mind racing.

"On the way?" Cara repeated indignantly. "On the way to what?"

"And now you've brought them straight to us," Lana Ryker said, stepping forward and smirking. "I don't know why you didn't just finish them yourself, but still - this should be fun."

"I didn't do anything because they have value," Athena blurted out, ignoring the indignant looks Rowan and Cara were giving her. "We all know Rowan's strong, and Cara's handy with a knife. That's useful in here, if you couldn't tell."

"So? We can do everything they can, if  _you_ can't tell," said Lana.

"Like run away from traps?" Rowan murmured.

Athena nudged him, but the damage had already been done. The Careers heard him.

"That was you who set those traps on us?" asked Kai, frowning. "When you knew what they did?"

"We didn't know it was you," said Athena, which was true. "Better safe than sorry," which was also true.

"Well, now you know," said Sapphire. "And this is your last chance to come with us, Four. Don't ruin your chances of survival just because you feel bad for them. That's a dead girl's mistake."

"What makes you think we're so worthless?" Cara demanded, giving Athena more time to stall. "Just because we're not from the right district to you doesn't mean we can't do anything useful."

"Oh, what?" Sapphire said sarcastically. "Is it that knife you're so handy with?"

"I'm more than handy - watch!" she said, and with that, pulled a knife out from her pocket and threw it in Sapphire's general direction. It soared past her ear and through the shattered window of a decrepit house behind her.

There was a moment where everybody stared at each other. Athena and Rowan were stunned; they had both seen Cara throw knives in training, and she never missed her target. The Careers all looked angry that Cara would dare try such a move. Cara, on the other hand, was smiling in satisfaction.

Then, unexpectedly, Sapphire let out a shout of laughter. "That's the best you can do? Really? Oh, you are so dead, little girl!"

Sapphire raised the mace she held in her hands. She was about to charge at Cara, and Athena acted without thinking. Pulling out one of her own knives, Athena sent it flying straight at Sapphire. The blade grazed her left cheek, before flying past. For a moment, everyone and everything froze. Even the slight hot breeze that was blowing past seemed to stop. The cut on her cheek wasn't deep, and would be easy to heal if they knew what they were doing (and someone out of the Careers had to), but the damage done would likely last Athena for the rest of the Games. In one move, she had marked herself once and for all as an enemy to the other Careers.

"Athena," Kai said hesitantly, breaking the silent spell. "Athena - come on - there's still a chance."

"Like hell there is!" Lana Ryker snarled. "Not after that. She wants to stick up for her new little friends? She can die with them, too."

Athena exchanged looks with Rowan and Cara. To her confusion and, really, at this point, her annoyance, Cara still didn't look particularly worried. Rowan, however, at least looked appropriately scared. She would have time to regret her decision later, and she likely would, but for now, she needed a way out. She almost thought there was none when she heard it; a faint buzzing sound, growing louder and louder.

Athena looked around, trying to find the source, but only found Cara, whose satisfied smile was widening slowly. Finally, as the buzzing grew louder with every passing second, Athena saw it was coming from the house behind the Careers. She squinted against the setting sun to see what was inside and saw something that made her heart stop; dangling from the middle of the room was a large nest of Tracker Jackers, torn open by the same knife Cara had thrown moments ago. Cara Savera never missed her target.

No sooner did Athena come to that conclusion did the Tracker Jackers come swarming out the window in a thick, black cloud. The Careers, in the closest range of the Tracker Jackers, were the first targets, leaving them to run in different directions, screaming and attemping fruitlessly to swat them away. Athena, Rowan, and Cara did not hesitate; they turned and ran like hell, Athena pushing Rowan and Cara in front of her instinctively. Though they were further away, clusters of the Tracker Jackers still flocked to them, swarming around them. Athena charged forward blindly, hoping she didn't lose Rowan and Cara and wind up alone.

The stings were inevitable, expected, but still horribly painful. Athena hissed in pain as they came, one, two, then three, clutching onto the places she had been strung and trying desperately to swat the Tracker Jackers away. She remembered lessons in the academy that centered around Tracker Jackers:  _A few stings cause powerful hallucinations, but numerous stings in a short period of time can lead to death._

Finally, she escaped the Tracker Jackers, and Rowan and Cara were only a little ahead of her, but then the hallucinations settled in, the stings having already grown to the size of a plum. Everything seemed shinier, golden, too bright for her eyes, blinding her. She was followed Rowan and Cara, who were for some reason screaming for her to follow, even though she wasn't that far away. Her spear and shield suddenly felt too heavy, and she wanted nothing more than to drop them and be free, but her hands were glued to them. No matter how hard she tried to shake them off, they remained stuck in her hands.

She looked down at her body when she felt some thick liquid running down it and saw, to her horror, that she was bleeding, long, deep cuts appearing at random on her body. It was all Athena could do not to scream as the pain registered, tears stinging her eyes and only making everything worse. The Tracker Jackers were long gone, but she could still hear the buzzing right in her ears, almost deafening. But the buzzing was cut off by the sound of a bloodcurdling scream. Athena looked around desperately, trying to find the source, and saw Calypso standing a few feet away, with a spear that looked awfully like Athena's sticking out of her chest. But then Calypso turned into her mother, being torn apart by dagger after dagger, and her mother became her father, ill and fading away before her eyes. Athena tried to reach them, but suddenly she was frozen to her spot, unable to move.

Suddenly, two Peacekeepers were on either side of her, grabbing her by the arms and forcing her to move forward, away from her dying family. She struggled against them, kicking and insisting furiously that she had done nothing wrong, they couldn't do this to her, they couldn't take her away from them again, but then they took off their helmets and there was Mags and Finnick, and Athena relaxed almost immediately.  _Trust your mentors_ , her father's voice boomed all around, but she couldn't find him anywhere anymore. Blood was still pouring out of her, spilling onto their pure white Peacekeeper uniforms, and she felt faint; she didn't know how much more she could lose before she died from it.

They shoved her into an almost impossibly tiny home with red curtains covering its windows. Athena looked back at them to protest about their rough nature, but then they were gone, and it was only Rowan and Cara. Athena didn't like that much, murmuring that she wanted Mags and Finnick back, but nobody seemed to hear her; they simply pushed her forward. Given no other choice, she stumbled forward, hearing Calypso's piercing shriek ringing in her ears again.

Somebody else was already in the sitting room. Wedged into the corner was a small girl with bright blonde hair. Athena wished she could make out who it was, but her features were oddly blurred, making them indiscernible. For a moment, they just stared at each other. Well, Athena stared at her. She didn't know if the girl was staring back or not; her face was too damn blurry.

"What do we do?" Athena found herself mumbling to Rowan and Cara. "What do we do with her? Take her with us?"

"You kidding? With that injury? She'll slow us down more than you right now," Rowan scoffed, his voice much lower and slower than usual. "We'll just kill her."

"Kill her? You can't do that," Athena frowned. "You can't do that. You can't even tell which one's the real one."

"What are you talking about?" Cara demanded, but Athena thought it was obvious what she was talking about, because there were two of the girl now, their faces equally blurry.

"We can't kill her," Athena said again, collapsing against the wall. "Can't do that, can't do that, that's not right, we can't do that, should never do that - "

"You can't," Cara said, "we can."

And then they descended on her - both of her. Athena protested more desperately, because now she was seeing Calypso again, two of her, frightened and alone and begging for her sister to save her. Rowan and Cara did not listen, did not care. Athena slid down against the wall, onto the floor, as the sound of Calypso's screams returned, louder and more pained than ever. She brought her hands to her ears, trying to desperately block it out, but the screams were a part of her, inescapable. She started coughing, unable to stop herself; then coughing turned into vomiting, except all that came out was blood, rushing up her throat with no end in sight. Everything went black before Athena could choke on it.


	10. X

**X**

 

Finnick Odair hated the Capitol. He always had, even as a child, and hated them more each year he had to come in contact with its citizens. They had two redeeming qualities, though, which were these: they would do almost anything he wanted if he went about it the right way, and they were filthy rich. Not that the second one meant much to him anymore. He had more than enough money to survive, and after that, money meant nothing to him. Still, the fact that the money was there was a useful bonus for him sometimes.

Finnick thought about this as he sat in the sitting room of a rich woman he had only met two days ago, in nothing but a thin sheet he had wrapped around himself, his eyes glued to the television, watching as Rowan Lindell of District Seven and Cara Savera of District Six attempted to heal an unconscious Athena's stings, to no avail. Not that he could blame them; they didn't have the right supplies to tend to Tracker Jacker stings. Besides, they had both been stung once, making matters more difficult. If anything, he was grateful that they didn't kill her so she wouldn't slow them down, grateful that the stings themselves didn't kill her, grateful that she managed to make it out of the encounter with the Careers in one piece.

Finnick couldn't really be surprised that Athena chose to form an alliance with Rowan and Cara, now was he very surprised about her standing against the Careers; it had always been clear to him that an alliance with the Careers was not something she wanted. Could the situation have been handled better? Yes. But it could have been worse. At Athena she was alive, and she was quick and clever and strong, able to handle herself, but none of that would matter if those stings weren't tended to properly quickly.

Kai, by some strange miracle, had managed to come out of the ordeal completely unscathed, without a single sting to be seen. The same couldn't be said for the other Careers, but that wasn't Finnick's responsibility as long as Kai was okay. That left Athena to take care of, which wasn't surprising, if he was honest with himself.

 _She was always the more difficult tribute_ , he thought, a little more fondly than he should have.

And yet he still worried for her, was still flooded with relief to see her alive, still wanted her to win so much that he was finding it difficult to dismiss it as something innocent. But he managed it anyways, because the other option was ridiculous. He was her mentor, choosing the other option crossed a line Finnick didn't think he could cross. A line Finnick was rather scared to cross. The other option wasn't even an option, not for someone like him, not since his forced arrangement with Snow.

In any case, what mattered now was getting Athena out of her current situation. All she needed was the right medicine, but she also needed a sponsor who was willing to pay for it.

"Finnick! Darling! Where have you gone?" a high-pitched voice called from the bedroom, giggling. "Don't tell me you've run away from me!"

Finnick could barely hold back the shudder that threatened to pass through him. Forcing his voice to speak in that low, seductive purr that everyone liked so much, he called back, "I'm in here, sweetheart. I could never leave you for long."

Ironically, he would be leaving her in two days and would likely never see her again. Snow wanted him to keep the Capitol happy. The only way to do that was if he moved from client to client, never lingering with one for very long. After two years of this, Finnick didn't know why they still believed that he truly loved any of them, but Finnick had also been around Capitol citizens enough to know that not many of them were very intelligent.

Finnick supposed that he couldn't be surprised about what President Snow had him do. Even when he was seeing the Capitol for the first time, he knew he was desirable to its citizens. He had used it to his advantage to get sponsors. When the end of his victory tour came around, the Capitol made it clear that they did not want to let him go, but he was fourteen at the time, too young for even the Capitol to touch, so Snow made him become a mentor. He hadn't minded that so much; he was planning to become a mentor anyway so he could help Mags as she grew older. He thought being a mentor would be enough.

That changed the moment he turned sixteen. Sixteen was when the Capitol could make their desire for him sexual without guilt. The Capitol wanted him to entertain them, and so Snow forced him to oblige. The deal was this: during each of his visits to the Capitol, he was to take not one lover, but several different ones. Those so-called lovers were people who had bought him themselves, or people who were being presented with him as an award or as a gift. He was to stay with each one for a few days, make them believe that he genuinely loved them, and then eventually leave them to entertain someone new. If he refused, Snow would have Mags, and everyone else he happened to love, killed. And so Finnick agreed. And so Finnick had been doing as Snow asked for the last two years, taking on client after client and ignoring the revulsion, the self-loathing, the hatred for the Capitol he felt. Sometimes, on the lucky days, he just felt numb.

The woman, his current client, Lilith Caligula, came out from the bedroom, a thin sheet wrapped around her own glittery, periwinkle blue body, her pin-straight, platinum blonde hair falling down her shoulders. She was only a few years older than him, in her early twenties, which wasn't anything new to Finnick at this point. She walked over until she was standing behind Finnick, leaning over to wrap her arms around his chest, forcing him to lean back into her touch and relax his tense muscles.

"Why'd you leave, dear?" she whispered, her hot breath on his skin. "I thought we were just getting started."

"Oh, we are," he said, in that practiced, perfected seductive tone. "I just needed to check on my tributes first before I give you all my attention."

"Oh, it's so sweet how much you care about them," Lilith squealed, moving over to the kitchen, and Finnick tried not to make his relief obvious. "How's that Athena doing? I like her. She was such a sweetheart in her interview and she looked so gorgeous, too! I've been trying to get Tatiana to design me something for  _ages_ ever since. Do you want something to drink?"

Finnick almost refused, but then reconsidered. Being drunk always made this easier. "Still got some of that whiskey?"

"For you, of course I do, darling," Lilith chirped. "I'm sure after all that work you do for your tributes, you deserve it."

 _I'm not sure I'm doing enough_ , Finnick thought, staring at the stings, now the size of oranges, on Athena's body with a frown. Then, as he heard Lilith start singing under her breath, an idea started to form.

"Sweetheart, how much did you say you like Athena again?" he called.

"Why, I'd like for her to win the whole thing," Lilith replied.

 _You and me both_ , Finnick thought, taking one last look at Athena's unconscious body before standing up, letting the sheet fall to the floor.

In a fit of supposed generosity, Snow allowed him to receive any payment for his  _services_ that he wanted. Money stopped being satisfying to him after becoming victor, so he accepted payment in secrets. Athena thought he was messing her around when he told her that was how people paid for his company, unaware that this was what he went to do late at night, though he knew she was curious. Finnick had already received all the secrets worth getting from this Capitol socialite, but that didn't mean he couldn't get paid in other ways - like a sealed sponsorship.

He walked over to the kitchen, bringing Lilith's attention to him. She smiled at the sight of him, and he forced himself to ignore the way his stomach turned unpleasantly at the way she stared at him.

"Ready to start again already?"

"Something like that. But first," Finnick pulled Lilith against him, then remembered the way Athena looked at him when she told him about her family, feeling his resolve harden, "I have a proposition for you."

 

*

 

Athena almost wished she was still unconscious the moment she woke up. She tried shifting slightly in her spot, but then stopped when the soreness in her neck, right hand, and left leg suddenly turned into a sharp pain shooting up and down her body. She opened her eyes slowly, using her left hand to rub them blearily. She was in the same house they sought refuge in, still in the same spot, against the wall of the sitting room - at least, she thought she was. She remembered a house and a sitting room, but for all she could make sense of, it could have been a different house. Hell, she had no way of knowing whether or not she hallucinated the whole thing.

"Hey, you're awake!" a voice announced, making her jump and grab her spear. She looked to see Rowan walking into the room, his axe in hand. "About time. Hey, Cara, get up!" Rowan called to the sleeping form on the sofa. "We started to have a joke going on that you'd just sleep for the rest of the Games and everyone would forget that you were here and we'd do all the killing for you and you'd just wake up and be the victor."

"Hilarious," Athena murmured, as Rowan moved over to the sofa to wake Cara up.

"Cara, get up. Come on, Athena's up, too, we might be able to get going soon," Rowan said, shaking her awake.

Cara stirred slowly, rubbing her eyes and looking over at Athena. "You're up? You couldn't have waited a few more hours? I was just starting to sleep."

"You're not getting any sympathy here," Rowan said. "I told you hours ago I could take watch by myself."

Athena watched the whole encounter with slowly mounting confusion.

"You didn't kill me," she said thickly.

"Good observation," Rowan said, raising his eyebrows. "At least we know that the hallucinations are wearing off."

"You didn't kill me," she said again, still not able to understand it.

"Well, I'm assuming you're not sad about it?" Cara said, a little impatiently, swinging her legs off the side of the sofa and sitting up straight.

"You didn't kill me," Athena said, shaking her head slightly. "That doesn't make sense. I was hallucinating, I was unconscious and injured, I was slowing you down. You don't trust me. I'm a Career. You must have thought I was going to turn against you back there. Why didn't you kill me?"

"Well, first of all, we were hallucinating a little, too, back there, so don't act like you were the only one who had it bad," Cara said. "And second of all, if it helps, it was tempting. Like, really tempting."

"Why didn't you do it, then?" Athena asked.

Rowan and Cara exchanged looks; then, the later said, "Alright, yes, you're a Career, and yes, we thought you were going to turn against us, but what matters is that you didn't. You had chances to kill us and you didn't take them. Hell, you made yourself an enemy to the Careers to protect us. That's not nothing."

"And - uh - also," Rowan said, "you're pretty strong. We might need that."

Athena almost smiled. Instead, she shifted slightly in her spot, wincing at the searing pain she felt, and said, "So... what now?"

"Well, there's still the stings to take care of," Rowan said. "How we're going to take care of them is something we still haven't figured out yet. After that... keep moving, I guess. Avoid the Careers, probably."

"Probably," Athena agreed, and it was then that she took in that Rowan and Cara had been stung as well, one for each of them. Rowan's was a little bigger than a plum just under his collarbones; Cara's was bigger and rested on her right wrist. Athena looked down to examine her three stings, all three of them the size of oranges or a little smaller; the first was on her neck, the second on her right hand, and the other on her left leg. They were repulsive to look at, so Athena tore her gaze away. "So I'm assuming there was nothing in my bag to help with this?"

"Nope," Cara said. "And I don't know where we can go about finding anything."

"We could try the Cornucopia," Rowan suggested.

"That's a risk," Cara argued.

"We're in the arena, Savera," Rowan countered. "Everything's a risk."

"Well, going to the Cornucopia - where the Careers might be, mind you - over something that might not even be there is a big risk," Cara said. "A stupid risk. And we're in the arena, Lindell. Stupid risks get you killed."

"Don't use my words against me," Rowan said. "What do you think, Athena? Athena?"

But Athena wasn't paying attention to their conversation, or she might have noted the significance of being asked her opinion by people who formerly did not trust her at all. She was staring intently to her left at the corner of the room. She could remember snatches of what had happened - of someone there - but there were blanks to be filled. A lot of them. The traces of blood on the floor and walls didn't settle her uneasiness.

"What happened?" Athena said slowly, not looking away from the corner. "You - you killed someone, didn't you?"

When they didn't answer, she finally tore her eyes away from the corner to look at them. They were staring at her like she confused them, their brow furrowed. She was about to ask why they weren't answering her when Rowan spoke.

"How much do you remember from yesterday?"

Athena laughed hollowly. "I'm starting to remember a lot of things. I just don't know how much of it was real. You did kill someone, though, didn't you?"

Rowan and Cara exchanged looks again, before the latter said, "Yes. Yes, we did."

"Who was it?" Athena asked. "I couldn't make our their face. I remember - I remember seeing blonde hair and then - " she stopped suddenly, decided against telling them that she saw Calypso, scared and alone and waiting for a sister who could never save her. "I saw blonde hair. That's it."

"Well, like Cara said, we were hallucinating, too, so... we're not completely sure who it was," Rowan admitted, looking as though he was trying very hard to act unaffected by something that upset him very much. "We're not even sure we would've done it if we hadn't been hallucinating. But - but we're pretty sure it was the girl from District Ten, Circe Orford."

"Okay. So at least not everything was a hallucination," she said slowly, though this was something she would've preferred to have imagined. "I don't suppose you caught whether or not any of the Careers died from the Tracker Jacker stings."

Rowan and Cara looked at each other and shrugged helplessly.

"I remember pieces, but I don't remember seeing any of their faces during the recap," Rowan confessed.

"Maybe the trick did work, but we should still be careful," Cara added.

Athena nodded. "That was still a good move, though. That was really smart of you, Cara."

Cara looked surprised but pleased at her praise. "It was alright. We should've gotten out of there earlier, though. Avoid the collateral damage."

"How could we have?" Athena shrugged. "It was the right thing to do, and it worked out well enough, all things considered."

Athena wasn't sure whether or not she was imagining the light shade of pink Cara was turning. Before she could decide, Cara charged on.

"Still doesn't change that we need to find a cure somehow, especially in this goddamn desert - "

She stopped as a large shadow passed over them, temporarily immersing the house in darkness, before the shadow passed and the room was flooded with light again. There was a pause as they all looked at each other; then, Rowan and Cara leapt to their feet and hurried to the window. With difficulty, Athena rose to her feet and hobbled over to the window herself, using her spear as a staff and ignoring the stinging pain shooting up and down her body.

"It's a hovercraft," Rowan whispered, quite unnecessarily, as she reached the window. Indeed, there was one of the Capitol's hovercrafts, suspended in the sky, unnervingly silent, as though waiting.

"There's no dead body for them to collect," Rowan continued, in the same hushed tones as before, as though the people in the hovercraft might hear. "And the canon hasn't gone off..."

"So that must mean," Athena said slowly, "are we getting sent gifts from a sponsor?"

"Probably just you," Cara scoffed. "The Capitol's little mermaid."

"Never mind that," Athena said, oddly embarrassed. "This might be the cure."

She checked the window to make sure the coast was clear. Then, using her spear to support her, she walked out of the house as quickly as her pained leg would allow her. As she limped down the cracked porch steps, she saw it. The small package had been released from the hovercraft, attached to a white parachute to slow its descent to the ground. She broke into a run, cursing under her breath at the pain that followed, aware that it would probably only make the situation worse, but did not stop, certain that the gift was for them. She caught the box in the air, then looked back up at the hovercraft just as it turned invisible again. Looking around to ensure that enemies hadn't come pouring in from all sides in that time, she hurried back to the refuge of the house.

Rowan and Cara were waiting for her in the hallway. Turning the box over in her hands, she led the way back to the sitting room, settling into her former spot, now quite accustomed to the floor. As Rowan and Cara sat on either side of her, she opened the box and read the note attacked the the metal jar.

_You can use this for most injuries, including Tracker Jacker stings. Use generously._

_Your favourite mentors,_

_Mags and Finnick_

Athena felt a smile form on her face and quickly opened the jar as a form of distraction. Inside was some sort of white cream.

"See, told you it was for you," Cara said, having read the note over her shoulder.

As it sunk in that the gift was real and not another hallucination, she felt an odd sort of thrill go through her. The idea that rich Capitol socialites were watching, throwing money around to keep her around, the idea of using this to her advantage.. but that wasn't right. She wasn't really in power. This false sense of power was how the Capitol kept the people of the districts in line. And the thought suddenly wasn't so thrilling when she considered that her life was viewed as a thing to be bought, something with a price on it.

Tentatively, she dipped her fingers inside the jar and examined the cream on her fingers carefully, as though expecting it to turn to poison at any moment. Finally, however, she took a deep breath, bracing herself, and applied the cream to the sting on her leg.

For a few moments, the pain was almost unbearable, not only because of the direct contact with the sting, but the cream seemed to make it hurt more. She let out a cry of pain, biting down hard on her lip to muffle it. Slowly, but surely, the pain began to fade away to nothing. She let out a sigh of relief, her tense muscles relaxing, as she continued rubbing the cream onto the sting.

When she was finished with her leg, she placed the jar in between them where they could all reach it, and said, "It hurts like hell at first, but I think it works."

And so they all set to work, applying the cream to their stings, being as generous as they needed with amounts while remembering to preserve it for future injuries. When they were done, the swelling had gone down significantly and the pain was almost gone, enough for her to be able to ignore it when she moved. Afterwards, they decided to get moving again; they had no way of keeping track of time, but it was probably nearing afternoon, meaning they had already overstayed their visit, and the hovercraft might have drawn people there, as well. Just as they came to this conclusion, they heard hushed voices and saw shadowy figures pass by the curtained window.

"We'll go out the back," Athena suggested mildly.

Rowan and Cara murmured their assent, and so the three of them got to their feet and tiptoed quietly out of the house from the backdoor, before breaking out into a run away from the house. When they felt they were far enough away, they slowed to a stop, and Athena privately felt relieved; the extra pressure was starting to make the pain come back.

It was then that Athena noticed how dry her throat felt, but she wasn't sure if that was so much a side effect to the stings as a side effect to the dry desert heat. She took out one of the flasks of water and took a drink, passing the flask wordlessly to Rowan, before handing the second flask to Cara.

"We're going to need to fill those up again soon," said Rowan, as they handed the flasks back to her and she placed them back in her bag.

Athena nodded once in agreement. "I know. Keep an eye out for any plant life, because they have to be getting their water from somewhere. Also, watch out for any animals, then we'll follow them and see where they're getting it from. For now, we'll just have to conserve our water as best as we can."

She turned to see them staring at her.

"What?" she asked, rather uncomfortable. "Did you two have any other ideas?"

"No," said Rowan. "That sounds like a plan."

And so they set off, walking slowly to exert as little energy as possible. The days went by slowly with little action, moving from place to place in the desert heat. They found refuge in the shadiest spots they could to avoid the heat, and stayed as long as they dared, only running when they sensed other tributes approaching. They continued applying the cream to their stings and soon they were completely healed with still lots of the medicine to spare. There was something different about the group now, too. Before they felt like three strangers wandering about in the same general direction. Now there was a sort of togetherness about them, as though they were all meant to be thrown together like this. She wasn't sure yet if it could be called friendship, but it certainly had the same feeling, the same bond to it, maybe even a closer one in some ways.

Athena knew it was useless, foolish to think this way when the end would inevitable come for them, and soon, but she also did not know how to make it stop.

It wouldn't matter either way if they didn't find food and water soon. They were being extra careful with their supply, and if they remained that way, they could make it last for a few more days, but if those days came and went and they were still without food and water, they would be in trouble. She thought about this two days later, as they were sitting side by side on the floor of the sitting room of a tiny, half-ruined house that they had found the night before.

"So," Rowan said slowly, "assuming we never find any plant or animals - "

"There can't just  _not_ be plants or animals," Athena said, frustrated by the notion. "They wouldn't just drop us off here if nothing could last longer than two weeks."

"That really surprises you?" Cara said, with the  _naive rich girl Career_ tone that she and Rowan still took on sometimes when they spoke to her.

"Yes, because that wouldn't  _entertain_ anyone," Athena said pointedly. "What fun is it to just watch us die off slowly from starvation or dehydration? There needs to be some sort of way to survive in here, that's what makes it interesting."

"Well, how exactly do we find that way?" Cara said. "We're not going to find any plant or animals here because there clearly isn't any  _water_ here. So where do we look next?"

Athena sighed, putting her head in her hands, thinking out loud. "We could try to find higher ground, makes it easier to look."

"I like higher ground," Rowan said.

"Sounds easier said than done," Cara said. "Where is this higher ground?"

Athena shrugged. "Worse comes to worse, we can climb on some rooftop buildings - "

"But what if we waste all that energy and get even more dehydrated and still not find anything?" said Cara.

"Well, that's the thing," Athena said, letting out a deep breath. "We need a good vantage point so we can see more of the arena - who knows how much we still haven't found."

"Hey, guys?" said Rowan.

"There are signs of water," Athena continued, "the question is where do we find them."

"Guys?"

"Like what?"

"Plant and wildlife, canyons, even - "

"Guys," Rowan said impatiently, "look!"

Athena and Cara followed where he was pointing out the window, and Athena felt her heart leap. Outside, some sort of orange and brown lizard was scuttling about, glinting in the sunlight. Almost in unison, Athena, Rowan, and Cara leapt to their feet, racing out the door, but once they were outside and Athena could get a better look at it, she threw her arms out on either side to stop Rowan and Cara from proceeding too quickly. From the looks of it, the lizard was a Gila monster, which were highly venomous. They had to be careful so that the lizard didn't think of them as a threat to avoid injury, since they couldn't kill it until they found some sort of water source. They stood as far back as they could while still keeping the lizard in sight, mimicking its movements. They followed the lizard for what felt like hours, also remaining watchful for any oncoming tributes. Athena was just about to suggest that they stop, feeling past stupid and foolish for blindly following a lizard through the desert, when Cara gave a sharp gasp.

"What?" Athena said, loudly as she dared, her eyes still fixed on the Gila monster.

"Look!" said Cara, pointing straight ahead of her.

Athena looked forward and felt relief flooding through her. Ahead of them were water holes, three of them, relatively small, but more than enough. Scattered all around were plants and bushes, small but still growing. There were even a few small desert creatures scurrying around.

Athena, Rowan, and Cara hurried forward. The lizard finally noticed them and hurried towards them, but with one swift motion, Athena stabbed it through with her spear before any damage could be done. They continued forward until they reached the biggest of the water holes, the one nearest to them.

Athena took out the flasks, and the three of them downed what was left, before Rowan and Cara began refilling the metal flasks with more. They were suddenly much more energized than they were moments ago. Athena broke away to examine the plants more carefully. Some of them she recognized quickly as poisonous, steering away from them immediately. Others, however, made Athena come to better conclusions.

"Hey, some of these are edible," Athena called to them, remembering to keep quiet, picking off the parts she knew could be good to eat and storing it with what was left of their food. "If what I read was true, they also taste like shit, but we're not in a position to be picky."

Once she was finished, she stood to walk over to Rowan and Cara, who had finished filling up the flasks, when she heard someone clearing their throat. She whipped around. Standing a little further than ten feet ahead of her was Marjorie Hopper, her arms by her side and a knife held tightly in her hand. Athena felt her heart drop, not liking the grim determined look on Marjorie's face. It was't that she thought Marjorie could kill her; really, it was the opposite. She knew she could kill Marjorie with ease, and yet having a second Hopper child killed in the arena, so soon after the death of the first, especially after she had inexplicably helped her that first night so long ago, even in the arena, where it was kill or be killed.

And yet Athena wasn't sure Marjorie was going to kill her. She hadn't noticed the girl until she cleared her throat; who knows how long Marjorie had been standing there, how long of an opportunity she had to throw that knife through her back, and yet she did not. That had to mean something. Still, Athena raised her shield cautiously, her grip tightening on her spear. She was just about to speak to Marjorie, when the girl pointed directly to her left. Athena shot her a wary look, before following her gaze to where she was pointing.

She had to squint a little against the sun that was beginning to hang low in the sky, but once her eyes adjusted, she could see it - see them. They were only a speck in the distance, hard to make out, but Athena already knew it was them. Who else would be worth warning about in Marjorie's eyes, especially to a Career tribute? Because Athena was suddenly certain that this was a warning, what else could it be? Why else would Marjorie stop to inform her that they were coming unless she was warning her to get away, too? The real question was why was she warning her? What did she gain from it?

"Uh - Rowan? Cara?" Athena called quietly over her shoulder. "We might have a problem."

"We're already behind you," Rowan said, and true enough, they suddenly appeared at her sides. "We should get out of here. Pretty sure it was a unanimous decision to avoid Career drama."

Athena shot an uncertain look at the distant but still approaching Career pack, before looking back at Marjorie, still standing ten feet away from them with no apparent attention of moving closer. The smart option was to get away and get away now, but it also didn't feel smart to leave until this situation was sorted out.

"What are you going - ?" Athena began, but Marjorie acted, answering her question before she could finish asking it. She darted away, disappearing within seconds. Athena, Rowan, and Cara exchanged clueless looks, but they didn't have the time to debate what the girl's motives were. The Career pack was fast approaching, and it was by pure luck that they hadn't noticed them yet. They had to at least get out of sight now.

Cara patted her on the arm, before pointing at a house, looking on the verge of collapse. For the situation, it was steady enough, so they ran at top speed towards the home, before settling into the shadowy corners of the sitting room, watching the oncoming Careers from the window.

"Oh, fucking  _finally_ ," said Nolan Bedford, clearly spotting the water and running towards it at top speed. "God, how long have we been looking for some water?"

"Slow down, dumbass," Lana Ryker said, rolling her eyes.

"Why?" Nolan called back to her. "Who's here that's going to stop us? We can take anyone we want down and you know it."

"And what if there are poisonous animals that come out of nowhere and bite you?" Lana retorted. "People aren't the only things that can kill you in here."

"Calm down, Lana," Sapphire Satin said, shoving her lightly. "Wasn't it you complaining about being thirsty, like, five minutes ago?"

"Yeah, and I didn't suddenly lose all my common sense when I saw that water, did I?"

"Lana's right," Kai jumped in, and Athena looked away from him quickly; as stupid as it likely was, she couldn't bring herself to look at Kai. Falling out with him felt like losing one of the last pieces of home she still had left. There was her mother's necklace that she brought her fingers to occasionally to remind her why she even bothered to get up and keep moving every long, painful day, but she craved another  _person_ , alive and breathing and in front of her, to be her anchor to District Four. "Even we need to watch our backs sometimes."

"Well, I think you're both boring," Sapphire said matter-of-factly, then broke into a run after Nolan, followed by Bastion Silver. Lana and Kai exchanged looks, before finally following suit and running after their allies towards the water holes.

Athena inhaled sharply as they reached the water holes, filling flasks with the water. Suddenly, they felt far too close, and Athena was thinking they should have taken the risk and run farther away. What if they could still see them, what if they passed the window of the house, what if they decided to enter? They might be able to make a silent, quick escape out the back, but even then, the risk was great.

Her fears were confirmed when Sapphire stood, stretching, and said, "I'm kinda tired. Let's go in that house over there, sleep in shifts, and go out hunting for more tributes when it's dark out. Who knows, Four, we might even find your girlfriend on the way. You'll probably want to kiss her goodbye before we kill her."

"She's not my girlfriend," Kai said irritably. "I don't care what happens to her as long as she doesn't get in my way. We'll kill her when the time comes."

Athena managed to put off being offended long enough to be scared for her life. Athena craned her neck to find the backdoor. It wasn't far, but she didn't know how they could reach it without passing the window and therefore being seen by the Careers, who were making their slow journey over to the house.

"Okay," Athena whispered frantically, "let's get creative. How do we get to the backdoor without being seen? Quickly, too. We could maybe - "

Athena stopped speaking abruptly when she saw a knife soar past the window and graze Nolan's shoulder. He swore violently, grabbing onto his shoulder while everyone looked around wildly to find who had thrown the knife. Athena half-glanced over at Cara, then then Rowan, just to be certain that it wasn't one of them.

"What the fuck - ?"

Bastion was cut off as an arrow flew by and just barely skimmed over Lana's stomach. Both the arrow and the knife gave the impression that they had only missed because that was what the attacker intended. Kai drew his bow, but it was a rather useless gesture when he didn't know where to aim. Suddenly, arrow after arrow was flying in their direction, flying dangerous close to them, causing minor injuries. The attacker seemed to have an endless supply of arrows and no intention of stopping firing. The Careers threw their arms above their face, yelling out shouts of protest and furious threats, but it was made rather ineffective by the amount of arrows being fired at them in rapid succession.

"Come on, don't tell me the big bad Careers can't kill a little girl!" a voice called, and Athena froze, her body rigid. It was Marjorie. Marjorie had not only stopped to warn them; she was going out of her way to save them.

"Who in the hell - ?" Lana began furiously. "Oh, whoever that bitch is, she's dead!  _Come on!_ "

With that, Lana led the way as she ran away, the others following behind, waving their weapons around blindly. For a long, dangerously long, time, there was nothing, only silence and stillness all around. The canon did not go off, which meant nobody had died in this encounter. Finally, Athena gathered the courage to rise to her feet slowly, her hand clutching onto her spear and shield, raising them both cautiously. She was about to approach the window to see if the coast was clear, when Marjorie Hopper jumped into sight, looking completely unscathed and unharmed. For a moment, nobody moved. They just stared at each other, Marjorie staring directly at her. Athena was wondering if she had gone through all that effort just to try and kill them now, but then Marjorie simply gave her a thumbs up, before turning around and running away, soon disappearing out of sight.

Athena watched her go blankly, more confused than ever, vaguely aware of Rowan and Cara getting to their feet as well, standing on either side of her.

"So," Rowan said slowly, "care to explain what the hell that was?"

"Would if I could," Athena said helplessly. "That's the second time she's helped me," she shook her head, not understanding  _why_. "The second time she's saved my life."

"She does realize where she is, right?" Cara said, blinking. "Why isn't she tying to kill you?"

"I'd love to find out for myself," Athena said helplessly, shrugging.

"Well, I don't know about you two, but I'm definitely not complaining about not getting murdered," Rowan said matter-of-factly. "And for future reference, let's be more careful before someone else who wants us dead almost finds us and Marjorie Hopper isn't around to save us. Now, let's purify that water, shall we?"

"Right," Athena said slowly, bringing herself out of her thoughts and confusion temporarily. "We should go somewhere else first, though. There aren't any red curtains on the window, so we have no way of knowing for sure if the house is booby trapped or not."

Rowan and Cara nodded, so the three of them trooped back out of the house. At Cara's suggestion, they left subtle but clear markers as they searched for a new refuge so they knew their way back to the water holes in the future. When they finally found a red-curtained house that looked stable enough, they drew the curtains and settled into the sitting room. Rowan and Cara handed her the flasks, and she took out a box of matches from her bag, setting to work on bringing the water to a boil. Immediately after, they put out the fire, not needing any more warmth in the already stifling heat. They left the water to cool down before they each took a small sip, Athena quickly shoving the flasks in her bag before temptation and the hot weather could get the better of them. It wasn't much, but it was enough. Enough to keep them going another day, which Athena knew was the difference between dying then and there and making it all the way to the very end.


	11. XI

**XI**

 

"Something's going to happen soon."

Athena blinked. She had just been woken from a short, fitful sleep a few days later, as had Rowan by Cara. The statement, said by Cara almost as a promise, threw Athena off a little.

"We're in the Hunger Games," Athena said finally. "Lots of things happen all the time. Try elaborating."

"How many days has it been since something big happened?" Cara said impatiently. "Besides that fire we had to run from, because that barely counts. None of us even got burned. The Gamemakers are going to pull something soon, and it's going to be big. Tell me I'm wrong."

The last sentence was a challenge, looking at Athena and Rowan defiantly, as though daring them to oppose her. Neither Athena nor Rowan could do any such thing. Cara had said what they had all been thinking lately, and she was well aware of it.

"Well," Athena said bracingly, "we can't stop it. We'll have to be careful and figure out how to cross that bridge when we get there."

"Yeah," Rowan agreed. "The calm wouldn't last forever."

Not that the last few days were what Athena classified as calming. Travelling in the shadows as best as they could, afraid to even breathe too loudly, constantly looking over their shoulder, straining their ears to hear any signs of incoming danger, eating and drinking very little to preserve the little supplies they had. They still had a good amount of food and water left, but they had to have very, very few microscopic portions per day to preserve it. The only real upside was that they now knew where to go if they needed more. Athena was only glad that her recent life back at home had taught her to deal with hunger. The academy trained students tirelessly train for the games part in the Hunger Games, not so much the hunger part. Most Careers struggled with the lack of food and water the most. Even her fellow allies were surprised by how well she was dealing with the situation.

"Where does a rich girl Career learn to deal with stuff like this?" Cara would muse, staring at her like she was some grand mystery.

"A necessary skill that I've picked up," Athena would reply shortly. Stupid as it was, since she had already shared it with all of Panem, she was still embarrassed to talk about how much she and her family struggle with money. Rowan and Cara clearly thought that her story about applying for Tesserae was a lie, and she wasn't quite sure she wanted to let them know that it was the truth.

"Come on," Athena said, standing up and stretching. "We should get going soon."

Just as she did every morning, Cara brought her fingers to her hair to redo her plaits. Despite the amount of practice she had, she still struggled with braiding her hair, and it got more and more tempting for Athena to just do it for her, tough she held back, knowing Cara likely wouldn't take kindly to it. Still, the line had to be drawn somewhere, and for Athena, it was the point where Cara took out her braids in frustration and restarted for the fifth time in a row.

"Do you want me to just do those for you?"

Cara looked at her. "What?"

"Your hair. How about I just braid it?" Athena said. "I'm not half bad at it. I braid my sister's hair all the time, and hair like ours is much more difficult to maintain than hair like yours."

Athena gestured to her own hair, which, though it was currently in a tight bun, was all curls and coils, as opposed to Cara's wavier hair.

"I'm not your sister, am I?" Cara said sharply.

"Really? I had no idea," Athena said sarcastically. "Still, I think it'll be quicker if I do it, and the sooner we're out of here, the better."

Cara seemed to struggle with herself for a moment, before reluctantly saying, "Fine."

Athena walked over to her, sitting down behind her on the floor and setting to work on Cara's hair. Nobody talked, Athena braiding her hair while Rowan kept watch for any danger by the window, occasionally glancing over at him, his hair falling over his eyes. Rowan's hair grew fast, Athena noted. It was hard to tell time in the arena, but it couldn't have been over a month since the Reaping, yet Rowan's hair fell nearly to his shoulders, though Athena could remember it looking like it had been cut recently when she watched his Reaping.

"You don't normally do this yourself, do you?" Athena asked Cara eventually, keeping her voice quiet.

Cara hesitated a moment, before saying, "No."

"Who does it for you?"

"My sister, usually."

"You have a sister?" Athena said, oddly surprised by this. "Older or younger?"

"Older," she said. "She'll be - or has she already - no, I don't think her birthday has passed yet. I don't think we've been here that long. She'll be twenty soon, though."

Athena wracked her brain, but couldn't remember any female victor from District Six in recent years, let alone any by the name of Savera. She had never been Reaped - or if she had been, someone had volunteered for her. Still, now she was too old to be Reaped. She wondered how that freedom actually felt, wondered how much it was tainted by the fact that there was nothing she could do when her sister was Reaped. She wondered if it tore Cara's sister apart when Cara was Reaped, or if she was just relieved that she would never have to experience the arena herself.

"What did she say when you were Reaped?"

Cara shot her an uncertain look, then confessed, "She said that if I won it'd be the only birthday present she'd ever need," there was a long pause, then Cara added quickly, "Which is all the motivation I need, since I don't know what I'd get her, anyways."

Athena laughed, mostly for Cara's own sake.

"How about your sister?" Cara said, clearly eager to get the subject off her. "Older or younger?"

"Younger," Athena said. "She'll be ten in a few months. Too young to be Reaped."

"What did she say when you were Reaped?" Cara asked.

"To come back," Athena said simply, with a sad smile. "That's all. Wasn't much else to say."

Another long silence.

"You remind me of her sometimes," Cara said suddenly, surprising her. "My sister, I mean. The way you both want to save everyone but forget yourself in the process."

Athena was surprised, freezing, but then quickly finished up braiding Cara's hair and stood up. Cara, seeming to realize what she had just said, scrambled to her feet, looking oddly embarrassed. It was an odd moment; they were less distrusting of each other now than they were before, but they had never been so open with each other.

"Thank you," Cara finally said awkwardly.

"Don't mention it," Athena replied, but she already knew they likely weren't going to mention any of it, anyway. "Well, we should get going now."

"Great idea," Cara said, and lead the way out of the house with quick strides.

Athena and Rowan exchanged looks, but followed after her. Cara led them as they walked with no particular destination, just as far away from immediate harm as they could. Athena and Rowan stayed a few feet behind, a silent sort of camaraderie about them as they waked. Something about Athena and Rowan being the same age allowed them to have an odd sort of unspoken understanding of each other, one she didn't really think either of them would be able to explain.

After a while, Athena glanced over at Rowan and said, keeping her voice low, "Did you know she has a sister?"

Rowan shrugged. "I don't know why you think I know so much more about her. I've only been with her an extra two days than you."

Athena was rather surprised by the truth in these words. Rowan and Cara had been together since the beginning, but Athena had met them just two days after the beginning of the Games. She had seen them talking to each other occasionally during training, but besides that, Rowan didn't have much more time with Cara to go off of than her. Something about them had seemed so close, so together, so tightly-knit that it was easy to forget. She supposed they were simply united in their mutual distrust of her and she had taken it to be more than it truly was.

"But," Rowan continued suddenly, "she mentioned a sister once or twice. But I never asked, because... well, it's her. I didn't think she'd answer any of my questions."

"I didn't think I'd get anything, either," Athena admitted. "I was just sort of asking to fill the silence, I guess. I'm not even sure why she told me why she did."

"But she said why," Rowan said, with a small, knowing smile. "You remind her of her sister.  _That's_ why."

"What are you guys whispering about back there?"

It was Cara that spoke, turning around and looking at them suspiciously, squinting against the blindingly bright sunlight.

"Nothing you need to worry about," Athena said easily, shrugging and arranging her features carefully into a casual and unconcerned expression, which was hard in the arena, but she managed fairly well, all things considered. "Keep walking forward, it's important to keep your eyes ahead of you."

"Well, maybe it's more important right now that I watch my back," Cara retorted; there it was again, the stubbornness that came with being all of thirteen years-old. It got easy to forget how young she was. Thirteen and a killer. Thirteen and in danger. Thirteen and terrified.

"Don't be dramatic," Rowan said, rolling his eyes. "Face forward, keep walking, we're not slowing down for you."

Cara gave them one last suspicious look, before turning back around and facing forward, continuing her brisk pace. Athena and Rowan exchanged looks, and they couldn't help but smile in amusement at the little interlude.

"You have a brother, don't you?" Athena said to Rowan. Realizing it must have sounded a little odd, she quickly added, "I saw your Reaping. That boy you volunteered for, isn't that - ?"

"My brother, yeah," he admitted. "He's twelve. He's strong for his age and really smart, but he wouldn't have lasted long in the arena. At least not now. If I come back, he'll kill me for saying that, especially on television, but it's true. So I volunteered. That surprised a lot of people; people haven't volunteered over at Seven in a while. At least I can say that I did something original, something different, I guess. Has to count for something."

Athena was silent as she listened, nodding slowly. Maybe that was what bonded Athena and Rowan together in that strange way; not just that they were older, but older  _siblings_. The amount of responsibility they felt over their siblings, the need to protect them in any way they could. Perhaps, somehow, they had sensed that in each other.

Something about Rowan suggested that he did not have much faith that he would make it out of the arena alive. It wasn't that he was throwing his weapons on the ground in surrender, laying down and refusing to move, allowing death to come to him and take him easily. It was just this sort of resignation that he had about him, like he knew the end was soon and simply kept going because there was not much else to be done about it. Or maybe because he wanted to die with dignity. She couldn't blame him. But the thought still upset her, angered her, even, made her feel hopeless; she wanted to save them all, get them all out of the arena, and yet it was impossible. Even if they weren't all killed, even if they became the last three tributes standing, the only way it ended is if two of them died, and even if they refused to take care of it themselves, the Gamemakers would force it along. There was no way out except for at least two of their deaths. But she did not want Rowan and Cara to die, especially not by her own hand. The thought of getting their blood on her hands nauseated her even more than it had when they had first met that second night, and yet she could not leave her family behind... could not give up on them, especially not when she had promised to come back to them, or at least fight like hell to do so.

"You've got a sister, too, right? The girl at your Reaping, right?" Rowan asked suddenly, and Athena nodded once.

"Yeah," she confirmed, "she's too young to be Reaped yet, though. She's got a couple good years left. So no volunteering in my corner. I'd never be able to, even if I wasn't Reaped now."

"Would you have?" he asked in interest. "Volunteer for her, I mean. If you could, obviously."

"Without hesitation," she said immediately, nodding. "Sometimes I wished I was born later or her earlier so I could do it. Or that we were twins or something, I don't know. It's just wishful thinking, though, especially now. I try not to get caught up in it."

It was odd to be this open about this topic, and yet it felt like the right thing to do. And so that night, when they were huddled in the sitting room of their latest temporary shelter, trying to pretend that they were not deeply unsatisfied with their tiny diner, she said something she hadn't even really been planning on ever telling them.

"I'm good at dealing with hunger because I've been feeling it a lot over the past little while," she said suddenly. "I know you both think I'm some rich girl Career, and I don't - I don't blame you, but it's not true. I don't know how you guys live, I admit, but I'm not rich. I've never been, but it's been worse than usual. Food gets hard to come by, I gave up a lot of mine to make sure everyone else was well-fed. And there ends my fascinating story. I'm not trying to make you give me - "she meant to say that she didn't want them to give her any sympathy, but then she remember that sympathy from sponsors was potentially life-saving, so she changed tact - "I don't know, I just didn't want to continue the misconception, I guess."

For a moment, Rowan and Cara simply stared at her in surprise. They exchanged meaningful looks, before turning their gaze back to her.

"So that was true?" Cara said. "What you said in your interview? We thought you made that up so that the Ca - well, just to give yourself a little interesting edge, I guess."

"You wouldn't be the first ones to think so," Athena said, thinking of her conversation with Finnick the night before she went into the arena (and trying very hard not to think about the pang in her chest at the very thought of Finnick). "But I didn't make it up. I just thought I'd... clear the air."

"Right," Rowan said. "Well, thanks. For the honesty, I mean."

"Don't mention it," she said idly.

"You know, you really aren't like other Careers," Cara said, tilting her head and staring at Athena with narrowed eyes. "You're different."

"You also don't know any other Careers personally," Athena pointed out.

"But you're still different," Cara insisted. "You see - you see things differently than they do."

By things, Athena knows Cara means the Capitol and the Games. Athena was careful in how she responded.

"When I was a kid, this girl I really looked up to went into the Games. She died. Brutally. It was a transformative thing for me."

She left it at that, but Rowan and Cara seemed to understand. And it was true, if not left vague so that her words couldn't be taken as anti-Capitol. Athena had always been a little critical of the Capitol and the Games, if only privately; she never understood why they punished the districts so harshly, why they never tried to do more to help its poorer districts when they were so clearly wealthy. Still, she almost bought into the old lie, that the Games were an honour and that serving the Capitol was the most fulfilling, honourable purpose the districts could have, until she was eight and Dory Ermin was Reaped.

Dory was fifteen, nearly twice her age at the time, and damn near Athena's hero. She was top of her year, one of the finest students to ever step foot in the academy, popular everywhere in the district, and what was more, unfailingly kind and even a friend to Athena. Athena wanted nothing more than to be like Dory, which drove her to try her hardest at the academy. When Dory had been Reaped, Athena had pity only for the other tributes, knowing victory would belong to Dory that year. Everyone thought so, from all of District Four to the Capitol itself.

Imagine their surprise when Dory Ermin was strangled to death by the female tribute from District One. Imagine Athena's horror, the way she threw up after watching and cried for hours. Imagine how it felt to see the Capitol and most of District Four, Dory's home, forget her like she was nothing, treat her like a disappointment. It was then that it became plain as day, without a shadow of a doubt, that the Games and the Capitol were cruel and unfair and not at all the harmless honour that they dressed it up to be. For Athena, there was no turning back. All she was left with was the hatred and the doubts and the distrust that she always had, amplified even more now that she was no longer being blinded by their lies.

However, she could hardly say all of this out loud, so she was glad Rowan and Cara understood just from the information she gave.

Some time later, Rowan and Cara slept while Athena kept watch. She told them she would wake them once she got tired, but she already knew it likely wasn't going to happen tonight. Sleep was a near impossible thing in the arena; it felt like every other tribute was just waiting for her to close her eyes so they could strike. She only gave into her exhaustion when Rowan and Cara made her out of fear for her slowing them down, but Athena thought they had little to worry about; in spite of the little sleep she got, she kept moving constantly, feeling energized.

A few hours later, she jumped as she heard a noise. It was the sound of scuttling on the wooden floors. She looked around until she spotted it; the large, black scorpion scurrying about the room. She felt that in a different time, she might have at least been a little alarmed to have a venomous scorpion in the same room as her, but now, after everything, it felt like the most insignificant threat she had encountered so far.

She got to her feet, her spear in hand, and took a few steps forward, bringing the scorpion's attentions on her. The scorpion seemed to size her up for a moment, and then decide she was a threat. It scuttled towards her, lifting its stinger higher, but just as it was reaching her, Athena drove her spear through its head. She lifted her spear again, the scorpion still speared onto the blade.

"What are you doing?" a voice demanded, and she looked around to see Cara sitting up and staring at her.

"Nothing," Athena replied, then waved her spear around. "Made a new friend."

The scorpion's legs twitched about wildly for a few moments, before finally going still. Athena brought the blade of her spear to the ground, and using her foot, pushed the creature off the blade. Staring at the dead scorpion, she suddenly felt quite bad for it. It wasn't its fault that it had tried to hurt her, what else did it know to do? Athena stabbed it with her spear again to skewer it with the blade, before creeping over to the window and opening it just slightly. She brought the scorpion off the blade of her spear again and placed it on the sandy ground, before covering it with sand as a sort of grave. Then, she found a stick and stuck it up on top of the grave, the best gravestone she could give the dead creature.

She looked around to make sure she hadn't been seen, before closing the window and moving back to her previous spot, sitting down. Cara was staring at her.

"You really are kinda weird, you know that, don't you?"

Athena shrugged. "I don't usually think about how weird or normal I am."

Which was true. The only times Athena really thought of herself as abnormal was when she was with richer members of the district, when she realized she was against the Games while she was faced with a sea of people who saw them as an honour.

"Well, you are," Cara said. "Now, look, if you're going to start taking watch all night, could you at least be honest about it?"

"If I was honest about it, it'd start an argument. There's enough conflict going on around here without unnecessary ones. This is much easier."

Cara rolled her eyes. "As stubborn as my sister, too."

Athena raised her eyebrows at the comment. "Your sister seems like a good person. I feel like we'd get along great."

"I'm sure you would."

"Alright, great, I'm up, too," Rowan said, frowning, and rolled over from where he slept facing the wall to look up at them. "I guess the party can really start, since you don't have to worry about waking me up, now."

"Cry me a river," Cara said with a yawn.

"Seriously," Athena added earnestly, nodding. "Go for it. We'd have more water to drink that way."

"I was going to say," Rowan said with a grin, nodding at Athena, "I don't think I have enough water in my body anymore."

"Cry me a small puddle, then," Cara said.

"Setting realistic goals," said Athena. "I like it."

They all looked at each other from their little corners of the room. In unison, they all burst into hastily stifled giggled, all delighting in the opportunity to laugh at something slightly ridiculous for once since coming into the arena - hell, since being Reaped in general.

"Oh, here it comes," Rowan said, looking over at the window, seemingly relieved. "The sun's about to rise."

"Why are you so happy about it?" Cara said. "We could die today."

"We could die during the night, too," Rowan retorted. "Anyways, I  _like_ the sun. Keeps rising every single day, it's the one thing you can always rely on. Even when I die, when everyone dies. The sun still rises, and it'll keep rising long after we're all gone."

"That's morbid," said Cara.

"I think it's reassuring," Athena said, getting to her feet and stretching. "It's good to know that this isn't the end of the world."

"Exactly," Rowan said, pointing at Athena in an appreciative sort of way. "Thank you, Four. The sun always rises. We'll always have the sun."

Cara rolled her eyes and shook her head, standing up herself. "You guys are weird. We should get ready to go."

Rowan got to his feet as well, stretching and straightening out his clothes. They had a breakfast consisting of a tiny portion of the herbs that Athena found near the watering holes (which did indeed taste awful), and a sip of water. Cara undid her messy plaits, as she did very morning, and Athena expected to see her struggle with re-braiding her hair, but Cara surprised her. She turned to her and said, rather tentatively, "Hey, Athena? Could you do it for me again? Braid my hair, I mean."

The request threw her completely off guard, but Athena thought she was quick enough at recovering, walking towards her and saying, "Yeah, sure."

She combed her fingers through the wavy, blonde hair, before setting to work on separating the hair into two neat braids.

"I'm only asking because you're quicker at it," Cara mumbled, seeming embarrassed. "And I know I haven't been looking into many mirrors, but I feel like it looks better, too."

"It does," Rowan piped up, keeping watch from the window.

"Hey, Seven, you hair's getting pretty long," Athena commented. "How about I braid your hair, too? Then I'll do mine and we can all match."

"Oh, God," Rowan said, with an obvious disdain for the idea. "You never heard of dying with dignity?"

Athena grinned, but the humor of the joke was slightly ruined since it reminded them all of the likelihood of their deaths. They were silent for a moment, before Cara spoke.

"Well," she said, " _I_ think you'd look very pretty with braids. You have the cheekbones to really make them work."

Snickers turned into giggles, giggles turned into laughter, and the laughter was hard to stop. Rowan tried to act mad, but soon he was laughing right along with them. Soon, the laughter died off and Athena was done with Cara's hair, moving away. Cara ran a hand along the plaits, murmuring her thanks towards Athena. Athena just shrugged and replied that it was no problem.

"Alright, let's get going," said Cara. "The sun won't stop rising, but neither will I. Nothing will stop or control me. Especially not this goddamn arena."

Athena and Rowan exchanged slightly surprised looks at the comment, but still took it as indication to leave the house, so they led the way outside, waves of desert heat immediately hitting them the moment they stepped out the door. The day was tortuously long and uneventful, only looking up when a hovercraft delivered them another gift from sponsors. They opened the box and were delighted to find three flasks full of drinkable water. The note read:

_Drink up. Thank us later._

_Hope you haven't forgotten about us,_

_Mags and Finnick_

"Oh, God, I love them both," Athena said, then thought about what she had just said. "I hope Finnick isn't watching right now."

"Never mind your weird crush on your mentor, the water's  _cold_ still," Cara said.

" _Seriously?_ " Athena demanded, too distracted and delighted by this announcement to insist that no weird crushes were being had on any of her mentors. She took one of the three flasks, wrenched it open, and took a sip. Indeed, the water was blissfully, mercifully cool, so that she nearly forgot the stifling heat they were in still. They all drank more than they likely should have, indulging themselves in a way they hadn't been able to for some time. Then Athena shoved the flasks in her backpack before they could be tempted to drink more.

The rest of the day passed by with little action, but they were all uplifted and encouraged by the hovercraft's delivery. Athena knew Rowan and Cara thought she was the only reason they were getting gifts, but she wasn't so sure. She knew she was likely part of the appeal, and she knew having mentors like Mags and Finnick helped, but she doubted she would've received the gift had she been alone. The alliance and their dynamic appealed to the Capitol citizens, she was nearly certain of it. She also doubted she'd convince Rowan or Cara of this, so she kept it to herself.

Darkness fell and they found shelter for the night. Cara insisted on taking first watch, threatening to knock them both out cold if they didn't go to sleep themselves. Athena and Rowan exchanged skeptical looks at the threat, but still decided to cooperate and stretch out on the floor to sleep. Rowan called second watch before she could, and feeling slightly frustrated, she closed her eyes and, with difficulty, forced herself into a restless sleep.

She slipped in and out of different dreams. They were the same dreams she usually had; her family, by her side one moment, too far to reach in another; she and Kai, friends one moment and enemies the next; and Mags and Finnick, there to guide her along the way, because  _trust your mentors_ _, they knew what to do_.

After what felt like a few hours, she was shaken awake roughly, a voice whispering urgently, "Athena, wake up! Wake up!"

Athena opened her eyes, immediately alert, to find Rowan standing above her, wide-eyed. She leapt to her feet when Rowan stepped away, her spear and shield already in hand.

"What's happening?" she said, looking between Rowan and Cara, who held a knife in both hands, but the latter brought a finger to her lips, indicating for her to stay quiet. She then pointed at the door of the house they were staying in.

Athena was silent for a moment, listening hard. For a moment, there was nothing; then she heard it. Voices, muffled, quiet, but definitely there, coming from just beyond the front door. She couldn't tell how many of them there were, but definitely more than three. She looked at Rowan and Cara, her heart pounding so wildly in her chest it was at risk of being heard by the potential enemies outside.

"Not Careers," she mouthed, glad she could at least be certain of that. Careers would've barged right into the house if that was what they wanted to do, and they wouldn't be bothering to keep their voices down.

Rowan and Cara nodded in agreement.

"Still not good," Rowan mouthed back, which was a fair point.

Cara pointed at the back door. The three of them tiptoed through the house as quickly and quietly as they could, opening the back door just enough for them to slip through, wincing at the creaking noise the door made. They crept along the wall at the back of the house, listening carefully for any sign of noise. Once they reached the corner, Cara made to peer around it, but Athena reached around Rowan to grab her and pull her back.

"Wait," Athena mouthed, shaking her head and listening hard.

For a time, there was nothing. Then the hushed whispers started up again, and Athena nodded once at Cara, figuring the group must be distracted. Cara peered over the corner, but she jerked back almost immediately after, eyes wide with fear.

" _They saw me!_ " she hissed.

"What? How?"

"What d'you mean, how?" Cara said impatiently. "They looked over and they saw me, that's how!"

"How many are there?" Athena cut across Rowan before he had the chance to retort.

"Four. What do we do?"

"Run," Athena said.

Immediately, they all took off at top speed, but the moment they were no longer under the cover of the house, one of the tributes threw a knife, aiming directly at Rowan. Without stopping to think, Athena lunged forward, throwing up her golden shield to protect the both of them. The knife didn't even make a dent in the shield, but the force of it sent them stumbling backwards, losing their balance and falling to the floor. They scrambled back to their feet quickly, but by then, the four tributes were closing in on them.

"Change of plans," said Athena. "We fight."

Athena glanced over at Rowan and Cara as she said it. For a moment, fear flashed across both of their faces. Then, they nodded, determined looks on their faces and their weapons held tightly in their hands. Athena realized that in all this time in the arena, Rowan and Cara had never been in a real fight. They had killed the girl from District Ten, Circe Orford, but even that hadn't really been a fight. She didn't know if they'd ever fought someone at all, but even if they had, it probably had never been like this, a brutal fight to the death. Still, there was nothing to do but charge forward.

Athena took a split second to study the oncoming enemies. She recognized Angus Keld immediately, with his large muscular frame and solemn face and a mace in his hand, a mace with which she knew from training he was deadly. The other three took a moment to recognize. There's Cane Thorne, from District Eleven, the one who had thrown the knife, with more in his hands; Bill - no, Will Pinegrove, from District Twelve, with a sword in his hands and a bow and arrows slung at his back; and Dayta Fuse, from District Three, carrying a spear herself, but Athena could tell immediately, from the fact that she was holding the spear incorrectly, that she had never actually used one before, much less fought an actual fight with one.

"Right," Athena murmured, raising her spear and shield, bracing herself. "Let's do this."

She ran forward to meet the enemies just as they were about to reach them. Will Pinegrove came to her first. He struck first, slashing at her aggressively with his sword. He wasn't half bad with a sword, she realized, but she still managed to bring her shield up to deflect the blow. She used her shield to push forward, knocking him off balance. Before he could regain his balance, she whipped him around the head with her spear, and he fell to the floor. Athena didn't stop to check to see how he reacted to the blow, but the lack of a canon told her that it hadn't killed him. She looked around. Dayta Fuse was charging forward with her spear, but she was holding it all wrong, like a knife. Athena dodged the blow with ease, moving until she was standing behind her. She kicked the back of her knees to send her falling forward, hitting the back of the girl's head with her shield, the weight of it sending her sprawling to the floor. Athena re-examined the situation. Will Pinegrove was awake, blinking quickly. He tried to rise, but then fell back down to the floor. He was dazed, which meant he wasn't a concern as of right now. What was a concern was that Cara Savera was locked in combat with Cane Thorne, who must have been almost twice her size, and was threatening to overtake her.

Athena rushed forward, throwing herself between the two and holding up her shield to protect herself and Cara both from the knife that Cane Thorne was about to drive through Cara's chest. Athena managed to stay balanced this time, and she used the shield to push him back, sending him back a few steps. Athena rushed forward, raising her spear and stabbing him in the arm, then in the leg, then his other arm in quick succession. Before he could react, Athena moved behind him, whipping him around his shoulder blades as hard as she could with her spear, before stabbing him in the back of one of his knees. He let out a cry of pain, dropping his knives and falling to his knees as blood spurt out of the places Athena had stabbed him. Cara jumped on the opportunity, rushing forward and stabbing him directly in the chest with one of her knives, before moving behind him, taking a deep breath, hesitating for a split second, and slitting his throat. Blood poured out of the wounds immediately, and Cane Thorne fell to the ground, the canon sounding from above to confirm his death.

Swallowing down revulsion, Athena looked around, once again examining the situation. Rowan was locked in combat with Angus Keld. He had been doing surprisingly well, considering the size advantage Angus had over him, but now he was struggling to keep going, beads of sweat visible on his face, his movements becoming fatigued.

Immediately, Athena and Cara rushed forward to Rowan's aid. Cara threw an unbloodied knife, which settled in Angus Keld's waist, but not too deeply. Angus let out a cry of pain, but turned towards Cara, raising his mace. Athena, however, moved in before he could do any damage, throwing up her shield to block the blow. The force of it was so great that she stumbled back a few steps, but managed to hold her ground. Angus grabbed onto her, pulling her against him and holding his mace up to hit her in the face, but before he could do any damage, Athena struck. She stomped on his foot with all her might, then kicked him in the knees, before elbowing his stomach. His grip lightened just slightly, and she stabbed him in the chin with her spear, not as deeply as she could have in other circumstances, just as Cara sunk one of her knives into his arm, dragging it down the length of it.

Letting out a yell, Angus released Athena completely, and she moved around him, stabbing him in his lower back, deeper this time, then whipped him around her spear. Angus was stumbling around now, trying to grab onto his injuries and fight back at the same time, but his movements were blind and clumsy and she knew he was finished. Angus himself seemed to realize, for as he sunk to the floor in pain, he suddenly stopped struggling so much, staring them all directly in the face, daring them to do it. And there it was again, that feeling of being monstrous, and yet what else was there to do? They were the ones killing Angus, and yet it felt like they were the ones who were helpless.

Rowan was the one who finished the job. He moved forward, raising his axe and sinking it into Angus' neck. For one, horrific moment, Athena thought he was going to behead him; but Rowan stopped before he could sever Angus Keld's head completely from his neck. Blood spurted out in all directions from the cut, and though Athena, Rowan, and Cara all jumped out of its way, it got on all of them. Athena did not even try to wipe it off, only watching as Angus Keld fell to the floor and the canon sounded above, signalling his death. Disgust and self-loathing was mounting inside of her again, watching Angus Keld's blood turn the sand beneath him deep, dark red, like Alayne's dress that she loved so much, like the blood inside her own body, the blood she knew would be so easy to spill, so easy to lose...

"We've still got problems, you guys," Rowan said, bringing her attention back to the situation at hand.

Both Will Pinegrove and Dayta Fuse had risen to their feet, and they were running away, and for a split second, Athena thought it was because they had seen them take down their other, physically stronger counterparts. A second later, she realized the real reason. Spikes were rising up rapidly from the ground in the distance, drawing closer and closer to the ground beneath them. Occasionally, a spike would fly up into the sky, dangerously, fatally sharp.

"RUN!" Athena cried out, but the others needed no telling. The three of them took off at top speed in the same direction Will Pinegrove and Dayta Fuse had gone, though Athena had no idea where they had gone, nor did she particularly care at the moment. She just barely dodged a spike that whizzed past her head, letting out a yelp in spite of herself. They needed a way out of harm's way and fast. She looked around her, desperately trying to find it, until an idea hit her. "Higher ground - we need to get to higher ground! If we can get on a roof or something, we'll be off the ground, and we'll just need to dodge the occasional spike and we should be in the clear!"

"What roof would we get on? Look around you!" Cara yelled out, gesturing around.

Athena looked around and realized with an unpleasant lurch that all the buildings around them were fairly high up. It would take her a few minutes to climb up one of them, which means it would take Rowan and Cara much longer, since they had much less practice than her, and in that time a spike could fly up and stab them right through. In any case, none of the buildings looked very sturdy, appearing as though they were barely staying upright through sheer force of will. The best option was to climb the stairs of one of the buildings until they reached the highest level, then climb into the roof through one of the windows. None of the roofs looked very sturdy, but she didn't know how much longer they could keep running. There was nothing else for it.

"Follow me!" she called, sprinting as the rising spikes drew ever nearer. She ran towards the nearest building, the other two right behind her, and they all pelted through the doorway, the door seeming to have been blown off.

The building looked as though it might have once been some sort of office, but the way that happened here had taken a toll on the place, the entrance hall being almost completely destroyed. The staircase, which was missing a few steps, was on the other end of the spacious room, with a door back outside beside it.

"Up the stairs, quick!"

They sprinted across the room, but just as they were about to reach the staircase, more than two dozen giant spikes rent through the air, destroying what was left of the building once and for all. Athena, realizing immediately that the roof was going to collapse on them, pushed Rowan and Cara in front of her, towards the back door. Cara was the first out the door, then Rowan. Athena was halfway out the door when the roof collapsed, burying the bottom half of her body under the wreckage.

Athena couldn't move, trapped under the heavy debris, but nothing seemed to be broken. She did not take note of how miraculous that was, the way she normally would, because she was staring straight ahead of her, her heart in her mouth, feeling like she was going to throw it up.

Rowan was kneeling on the ground, holding Cara in his arms, and Cara had a giant spike sticking out of her back. She was clutching onto Rowan's jacket so tightly her knuckles were white, her breathing shallow and uneven. Her body suddenly seemed so much smaller. Athena had never seen her like this, so openly afraid but trying desperately not to be.

"It's - it's okay," she struggled to get out, looking from Rowan to Athena. "It's okay, I'm going to be okay, right?"

"Yeah," Rowan said, but his voice was shaking and tears were pooling in his eyes. "Yeah, of course you are."

Athena said nothing, too busy struggling desperately to free herself, wanting to reach Cara, to comfort her. A part of her thought this could not be real, and yet she knew, with a certainty that made her heart ache worse than her legs, that these were Cara's last moments. She wanted to be there for her for them.

"I - I need to be o-okay," she said. It appeared that the spike had punctured a lung, which was why she was struggling to breathe so much and why it was so difficult for her to speak. "I - I d-don't want to die..."

"You won't," Athena said suddenly, wanting to scream from frustration at not being able to free herself and reach Cara.

"Oh, it's so soon," Cara said softly. She was beginning to choke a bit on her own blood. "It's so soon... I never thought... I never realized it comes so soon... look at the sun... at least it's your favourite time of day, Rowan... it looks beautiful, too... like the paintings my sister made..."

She opened her mouth, as though to keep talking, but then suddenly, her face went slack and her body still.

Athena, who had paused from freeing herself from the collapsed roof to stare with tears stinging in her eyes, did not know if it was the blood loss or the blood that was choking her that did it. Even as the canon went off, signalling Cara's death, Athena found herself thinking that, perhaps, this was temporary... perhaps there was a solution, a plan to be made, and Cara would wake up and they could keep going... but Cara would not wake up... she would not come back, even as Rowan cried over her limp body, the two of them framed against the steadily rising sun, even as Athena felt her heart being squeezed to the exploding point, felt as though she had been stabbed right with Cara. The spikes had long since disappeared back into the ground, having fulfilled their purpose in these violent games, but Athena barely noticed, for Cara was dead, dead, dead, and still bleeding out in Rowan's arms.

Rowan looked over at her helplessly, and the tears on his face made her own eyes well up even more. He reached forward and closed Cara's eyes, then released her, as though it brought him all the pain in the world, and stood, walking forward, stretching out a hand to help her up, but Athena was finally, finally, far too late, freeing herself from the heavy debris.

To distract herself from the pain the dead body a few feet away brought her, Athena examined her legs. She felt dimly surprised that aside a great deal of pain, she was fine. She looked up at Rowan, about to stand up, when suddenly, without any warning, an arrow appeared through his stomach, then another through his chest.

Rowan made no sound at all, only looked down at the arrows sticking out of his body as he fell onto his knees. Athena, letting out a horrified gasp, looked around desperately to find who had fired the arrows, and found Nolan Bedford, thirty feet away, with a satisfied smirk on his face. Without thinking, Athena grabbed three of her knives and leapt to her feet. Barely feeling the pain in her legs, she threw one knife after the other in quick succession. The first lodged in his stomach, the second in his chest, and the third in his neck. Blood spewed out from the wounds, and Nolan fell to the floor, the canon sounding the same moment he hit the floor. Athena looked around for any of the other Careers, but they were nowhere to be found. She looked back down at Rowan, who was now stretched out on the ground, and dropped to her knees immediately.

He had taken the arrows out of him, and he was now bleeding copiously from the open wounds. His hands covered them best as they could, but they soon became covered in blood. Athena was already reaching for her backpack, talking a mile a minute. He could not die too. Not now. Not like this.

"You shouldn't have taken those out, you just bleed worse than ever," she was saying, opening her bag and trying to find the first aid supplies. "But I can still fix you up, I can, people have survived worse, you can - "

Rowan grabbed her hands feebly to stop her. Athena looked back down at Rowan and her heart dropped. In the few seconds she had looked away from him, the blood had completely soaked through his clothes, and was starting to stain her own clothes now. Rowan still had tears on his face, but he was calmer than Cara was. He always had been, even in his last moments, for these moments were certainly his last. Athena had been deluding herself into thinking she could possibly heal him with this much blood loss already, with their limited supplies. Trying to ignore the blood spilling onto her, she held Rowan in her arms, placing her shaking hands on top of his.

"Athena," he croaked. "Athena... you have to win... you have to win... you can't let them win..."

"I - I mean - I'll try my hardest to make sure no one can kill me - "

But Rowan shook his head, looking as though the movement pained his terribly. "No... you can't let  _them_ win..."

And after a moment, understanding washed over her. She nodded. "I won't. I promise."

Rowan relaxed at that. He looked up into the sky.

"Cara was right... look at the sky..." Rowan was saying, but Athena's gaze remained fixed on him. "It is beautiful... and it keeps rising, every time... you should see them, if Cara and I can't... please, Athena... for us... you know, for a second... if you ignore everything else... it's almost like - like I'm home..."

And then Rowan let out a great, shuddering breath, and moved no more, his eyes staring unseeing at the sky he had loved so much.


	12. XII

**XII**

 

Rowan laid in Athena's arms, still, silent, blood still pouring out of his wounds. Tears were forming more rapidly in Athena's eyes and, before she could stop them, they were falling thick and fast down her face, landing on his own. She let out a choked sob, then another, and soon she was sobbing over his body, her hands in her hair as though she was about to rip it out of her skull. In spite of the pain, she remembered to bite down on her lip to muffle her sobbing so no one would hear her. The Games would not pause for her grief. It would be foolish of her to think they would.  _A dead girl's mistake._

She was sobbing still, Rowan's body laying there beneath her, Cara's body laying motionless a few feet away. She was sobbing out of grief; out of the injustice of it all, that two people so good, so deserving of all the good the world could have given back to them, had their lives ripped away from them so brutally, so suddenly; but she was also sobbing, she knew, at her own foolishness. What other way could she have thought this would end? She had known that it could not last, could see the end even as it was starting, and still she grew attached. Still she had let her guard down. And this was the price she had to pay; a reminder that in the end, she was alone.

She continued sobbing. But soon the sobs died down in her throat, until she was making no noise, the tears now falling quickly and rapidly down her face. There was no noise to be heard now. She felt isolated. Suddenly, she was overcome with a desire to do something for Rowan and Cara. To give them a proper burial, lay flowers down on them, something beautiful and dedicated solely to them, but what was there in this arena for that? There were no flowers, nothing beautiful and growing to be seen, because nothing of the sort could survive in this wasted, ruined city.

 _The monsters and the ugly things survive,_ Athena thought, wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve.  _We're the only ones that can make it here. Everything else dies._

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the wreckage of the building, that damn building that brought them all down with it. She looked over and saw sticks and planks of wood. A few feet away, she saw a great length of rope. And just like that, an idea began to form in her mind.

She stood and stumbled over to the planks and sticks of wood, before walking over to grab the length of rope. Then, she moved to sit in between Rowan and Cara again, and immediately set to work. She laid the plank of wood against one of the sticks to make a sign, before cutting a length of rope with a knife and using it to hold the sign together. She repeated the process to make another sign. Then she made to use the knife to carve out a message on each plank of wood, but stopped suddenly, thinking better of it. She put the knife at her side and picked up her spear instead. She knew using a spear for a task like this would be harder, but somehow, it felt right

And so she set to work on carving out the message on the planks of wood. When she was finished, the first plank read:

_Rowan Lindell, 17_

_District 7_

_The sun still rises_

 

The second plank read:

_Cara Savera, 13_

_District 6_

_Nothing will stop or control me._

 

She had struggled with herself temporarily over whether she should include their own words on the sign, but decided ultimately that it was best. The signs were meant to be makeshift graves, it only made sense to have words from each of them on it. Rowan and Cara deserved more than these wooden, handmade graves, but it was all she could give them.

 _Not enough,_ she thought.  _Never enough._

She moved Rowan and Cara's bodies carefully so that they were laying closer together, near some patches of grass and small plants, setting them near some of the only greenery this barren landscape had to offer. She arranged their hands so that they were resting on their respective chests. Realizing with an unpleasant jolt that Rowan's eyes were still wide open, Athena reached forward and closed them so gently, so tenderly, it might have been that she was afraid he'd feel it. Athena took a moment to compose herself, before getting to her feet again and placing the handmade graves a foot away from the head of its owner. She sunk the sticks of each sign deep into the ground until she was sure they were steady. As long as this arena was open, for the Capitol to visit and tour and have their fucking vacations, they will have to look at the signs she put up.

Her eyes found the place where Nolan Bedford's corpse was laying. In spite of the damage he had done, in spite of the grief weighing her down like an anchor, she could not bring herself to hate him. What else had he known to do but this? He had been raised for it, it had been taught to him over and over and over, it had only been instinct for him. And because of her instinct, he was dead, too, and the grief only got worse and so did the guilt and there was no winner - no one actually in the arena, anyway.

Still, before she could talk herself out of it, she made another makeshift grave and moved over to Nolan's body. She took out the knives in his body, fighting off queasiness as she pulled them out and blood spilled out. She placed them to the side, before taking the sign and caring out a third message:

_Nolan Bedford, 18_

_District 2_

_As long as I am brave, I can handle what comes next._

 

The quotation came from his interview with Caesar, where, upon being asked if they thought of dying frightened him, he replied, "It's not the idea of dying that scares me. It's the idea of becoming weak or a coward. I just need to be brave. As long as I am brave, I can handle what comes next." It was likely part of his fabricated personality for the Capitol, but it was the only thing she could think to write for him. It was odd, she thought; she spent so much time running from the Careers, from a danger about which she really knew nothing. Nothing about these damn Games were real, what else was there to do?

She placed the makeshift grave carefully a foot in front of his head, making sure it was steady. She reached forward and closed those dull, watery blue eyes, before arranging his hands carefully so that they were clasped on his chest. She collected the knives, wiping the blood on her clothes, and shoving them back in her pockets. Athena stood. She looked over at the sign, then at Nolan's body, something between regret and grief and anger clawing its way up her throat, before forcing herself to turn away and amble back towards Rowan and Cara, unable to even bring herself to even care about being seen by any nearby enemies.

In any case, Athena managed to make it back to Rowan and Cara without any threat arising. With nothing else to do for them ( _Always, always helpless_ , she thought.  _Even when you're the one who makes it out alive_ ), she simply sat down across from their bodies, setting down her spear and shield on either side of her. She brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs, simply staring at their corpses and her handmade graves by their heads. Tears pooled in her eyes and slid down her cheeks, and she let them fall, unable to hold back or pretend, occasionally wiping them away with her sleeve. She stayed exactly where she was, stock still, until a shadow passed over them and the hovercraft materialized above them. Athena tensed up immediately, her heart racing and breaking all at once. She wanted to tell the people in the hovercraft to wait, to give her just a moment longer with them, for the moment their bodies were sent up, they would truly be gone once and for all... all she needed was another moment... but of course, the Games did not wait, did not ask permission, did not show mercy...

When the time to collect the bodies came, Athena could not stand to watch, so cursing her own cowardice, she turned away, closing her eyes tightly. When she felt the shadow lift, she opened her eyes gradually, slowly turning to face forward again. Their bodies were gone but the signs remained, and in spite of the grief settling heavily in her chest like lead, she felt relieved. At least, these graves, marking their places in the arena and the world, proof that they had existed, would remain, if nothing else...

She didn't look away from the graves, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw the hovercraft collect Nolan's body. She forced herself to look away to check that Nolan's sign was still there, relieved when she saw it was. The Gamemakers clearly had no intention of removing the signs she had made.

 _This moment is probably a tear-jerked for the Capitol_ , Athena thought, disgust rising up her throat at the reminder that this was all staged, that people were seated comfortably at home, watching every second of this.  _They wouldn't want to ruin the effect_.

Now fighting off both revulsion and grief, Athena looked back at Rowan's and Cara's graves. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something black and shiny against the yellow sand. Tearing her eyes away from her handmade graves, she looked over to see another scorpion scuttling around a little ways off. The scorpion drew closer to her, but made no move to attack, just scurrying all around her. Athena watched it. Occasionally, it would raise its stinger, a warning sign of what would happen if she decided to threaten it, but it made no actual move against her.

"You should be afraid of me," she told the scorpion. "I've killed things bigger and scarier and quicker than you."

The scorpion did not appear afraid. It just looked up at her with beady eyes, before continuing to scuttle about aimlessly. It climbed onto each of her boots, before climbing back down onto the sand, scurrying underneath her knees. She wondered if it knew the scorpion that she had killed two nights before.

"You should be afraid of me," Athena said again.

The scorpion remained unafraid. It scurried over to the two makeshift graves, crawling around them, as though examining them closely. Athena reacted immediately, grabbing her spear and shield and standing up.

"You little shit - leave those alone!" she was saying, though she didn't know what the rather small creature could possibly do to disturb the graves.

She raised her spear, walking over to kill the stupid creature and be done with it, but then stopped before the blade could stab through the scorpion. It had no way of knowing what these graves meant. It had no way of knowing they were graves at all. What would killing the thing really do? She lowered her spear again, but did not back away from the creature.

The scorpion looked at her again. It raised its stinger. For a split second, Athena thought it would try to sting her; then it lowered its stinger again. Quite suddenly, the scorpion turned away from her and scuttled away. Athena watched it go until it was a speck in the horizon, and then until it had disappeared from view. Athena looked back down at the two graves, her eyes flickering from Cara's to Rowan's, and all of the sudden, she understood what Rowan was trying to say to her in his last moments.

"...  _you can't let_ them _win..._ " He had meant the Capitol, of course, but she had not understood how exactly Rowan wanted her to go about preventing the Capitol from winning. The Capitol won every time. They had all the power. That was the whole point of the Hunger Games, an exercise of their power, proof that they could make the districts do whatever they wanted them to do. How was Athena supposed to stop them from winning? There was nothing she could do.

Unless she did not play in their game. Unless she did not do what they wanted her to do. Unless she did not fight them, did not kill for them, did not give them the show they wanted so badly from her. And suddenly, in that split second, it was decided. She knew that in the Hunger Games, she could not avoid killing altogether, not if she wanted to reach her family again, but she would only do it out of necessity. She would do it only as a last resort, only if she had no other way of making out of a situation alive.

Athena looked over at the pile of planks and sticks, then over at the rope. On an impulse, she walked over and grabbed them, stuffing them in her backpack. The Gamemakers, the Capitol, wanted the tributes to be gone, forgotten like they had never existed, because it was then that their lives would lose meaning and the Capitol could do as they pleased with them. And in an instant, Athena had made up her mind; she would make these handmade graves for each lost life in the arena, her only way of fighting back against the Capitol's attempt to wipe them from existence.

Her resolve hardened, she walked back to Rowan's and Cara's graves, kneeling down in front of them. "I'm going to win," she said to them, as steadily as she could. "I won't let them win. I won't. I promise."

She took a deep breath, before forcing herself to stand. Then, with an enormous amount of effort and willpower she did not know she possessed, she turned away from the graves and walked away. She didn't dare stop or look back for a moment, unable to trust her ability to start again if she did. She just kept walking and walking, pushing past the feeling of having legs made of lead, not even noticing for how long she walked until she looked up at the sun and realized it must have been late afternoon.

Just as she came to this conclusion, she heard what sounded like someone groaning in pain. Athena looked around, suddenly tense, gripping her spear and shield more tightly, until she found the source of the noise. Amber Cedara was sitting, leaning against the wall of an abandoned building. The left leg of her cargo pants were rolled up past her knee, revealing two lumps the size of oranges on her upper calf that were unmistakably Tracker Jacker stings. Oddly surprised by this, as though she had forgotten that she wasn't the only person in the world now, Athena simply stared at her, until Amber looked at her, suddenly tensing up and clearly trying not to wince in pain.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

Athena said nothing.

"What are you staring at?" Amber snarled. "What, you think just because I'm injured, I won't fucking fight you? Because I will, just fucking watch me."

Out of nowhere, Athena found herself wondering if they broadcasted profanity during the Games. In all her years spent watching the Games closely, she never heard a tribute curse in the arena. It had to happen, though; put a bunch of kids her age in a situation like this, all sorts of colourful curse words were bound to fly around (she didn't think of all the funny ones Cara and Rowan would let out, didn't let them cross her mind). They must block out curse words, or switch to another part of the arena entirely. She considered swearing consistently for the rest of her time in the arena so that the Capitol couldn't turn her into a spectacle anymore. She decided against it only because the noise might give her away to enemies.

Amber tried to get to her feet, but as soon as she put pressure on her left leg, she let out a cry of pain and fell back onto the floor, clutching her leg tightly in her pale hands. The way she fell would have been oddly humorous if it wasn't so pitiful to watch. Amber had always come off so fierce and ferocious, it was odd to see her like this...

"Look, what do you want?" Amber finally said, frustrated. "If you're going to try and kill me, just fucking get on with it already."

Athena, knowing Amber could not hurt her, simply remained where she was, even lowering her spear and shield; then, she pointed at the stings and said, "How old are those?"

Amber looked from the stings to Athena, looking suspicious, before replying warily, "About a day, why?"

"You were out here for a day and no one killed you?" asked Athena, genuinely surprised.

"I wasn't out here the whole time," said Amber. "I was in there - " she jerked her head towards the building - "for most of the night. That's how I avoided those freaky-ass spikes. I came out here, like, an hour or two ago. I thought I was good to walk. I was wrong, but I bet that's obvious."

Athena nodded once. "So the hallucinations have worn off, then?"

"I think so," Amber answered. "I hope so. I dunno, are you a hallucination?"

"No," Athena replied, "but would a hallucination be honest with you about that?"

"Fair point," Amber said. "You're slow to kill. How have you made it this far in the Games? Then again, you Careers love to take your damn time."

Athena said nothing to that, simply acting on instinct. She took two things out of her bag: the metal jar with the healing cream that had been sent as a gift and another, much smaller jar made of plastic. She filled the smaller jar with the cream, before shoving the metal jar back in her bag. Athena closed the lid of the plastic jar, before taking a few steps forward and tossing the jar lightly to Amber. She caught it easily, but then immediately looked uneasy, as though Athena had thrown a grenade at her.

"What is this?" she demanded.

"It's a cream that's good for all sorts of injuries, especially Tracker Jacker stings," Athena explained. "I didn't give you a lot, but that's because you don't need it. Trust me, I know from experience."

Amber was silent for a moment, staring at the little jar, before looking back up and demanding, "Why are you giving this to me?"

"Out of the kindness of my heart?" Athena said drily. "I don't know, but look at you. You're not really in a place where you can turn down anyone's kindness."

"I'll turn down the whole world's kindness if I don't know their motivation," Amber replied fiercely. "How do I know this isn't poison?"

It was a valid concern, she knew, but Athena couldn't help but feel a stab of annoyance. Rolling her eyes, she said, "Have you seen yourself right now? If I wanted to kill you, you'd already be dead. I wouldn't have to be underhanded about it."

Amber said nothing, continuing to stare at her suspiciously. Sighing, Athena continued.

"Look, you don't have to use that cream. I'm sure as hell not about to force you. Hey, if those stings kill you, that's one less person for me to worry about - and one less person on my conscience, since I did try to help you. It's your call."

With that, Athena turned and began to walk away again. It was foolish, she knew, to turn her back on a potential enemy, but as she had expected, Amber made no move to harm her, only calling out, "YOU'RE A WEIRD ONE, FOUR."

 _So I've been told_ , Athena thought, thinking with a pang of Cara's bemused face as she told her she was weird, but said nothing. She simply kept walking, only stopping when a sudden realization hit her: Amber didn't know Rowan was dead.

Of course, if Amber lived to the end of tonight, she would find out anyway, on the death recap... and if Amber had though it was best that she and Rowan parted ways, they couldn't have been that close... still, Rowan had been her district partner... if it was Kai in Rowan's place (she forced herself to not think about how Kai could be dying at that very moment), Athena would have loved any kind of warning...

Before she could talk herself out of it, Athena turned to face Amber again and said, "Rowan's dead."

Amber, who had been looking down at the stings, wincing, froze. Tense, she slowly sat up, looking up at Athena with wide eyes, her bright blue eyes ringed with dark circles, her choppy black hair falling around her face. "W-What?"

"Rowan's dead," Athena said again through the lump in her throat. "We were in an alliance together. It was the two of us with this other girl - Cara Savera from District Six. They're both dead. Died this morning. The spikes killed Cara, but Nolan Bedford from District Two killed him. Two arrows; one in the stomach, the other in the chest. I killed Nolan, but - but the damage was already done."

Her voice broke at the last sentence. Amber said nothing, just stared at her, completely still, with wide eyes. Athena forced herself to keep going.

"I tried to save him," she said, willing herself not to cry. "I tried - you have to understand, I tried to save him. But he took the arrows out and he lost so much blood and - and there was nothing I could do. There was nothing.

"I held him while he died. He wasn't alone. That's all I could do for him."

Amber remained silent. Athena did not know how much longer she could go without breaking, and she refused to cry in front of Amber, so she simply said, "You were his district partner. I just figured you should know."

With that, she turned around and walked away quickly and quietly. Amber did not call out to her, and Athena did not look back. Athena did not stop walking, not for hours and hours, until the tears had come and gone and been wiped away. She kept to the shadows, as always, slowly accustoming herself to having to watch her own back again. How had she grown so used to Rowan and Cara in such little time...

She realized, quite suddenly, that she was alone. She had destroyed any chance of an alliance with the Careers by standing with Rowan and Cara. They would not accept her crawling back now (and her pride wouldn't, either). If she couldn't be with the Careers, then she couldn't be with Kai. She had destroyed it all for Rowan and Cara, and now Rowan and Cara were dead.  _A dead girl's mistake._

But perhaps, she conceded through the heaviness in her heart, it was better this way. After all, there could only be one victor. Even if Rowan and Cara had made it to the end, two of them would have to die for the Games to end, and Athena had promised her family that she would do what was necessary to get back to them. She could not abandon them. Wasn't it better this way, she thought, that they died now, in a way that wasn't by her own hand, than later in the Games when she would be forced into action, lest the Gamemakers decide to have their way with them, so Athena had no control? At least it was over now. The inevitable had passed, and it had not been by her hand. She did not know how she would have been able to bear that.

And yet she could not convince herself that her hands were clean of their deaths, that she was not to blame, because she could not shake the feeling that their deaths were her fault.

 _I'm the one that lead them to those buildings,_ she thought.  _If we just tried our luck and kept running -_

They would all be dead. None of the would have survived that trap from the Gamemakers if they had kept running. She knew it. They would have all been dead, and what good would that have done any of them? It would not have made anything better, and she knew it, but she couldn't help but  _feel_ differently.

 _It's the Hunger Games, Athena_ , she thought.  _Who gives a fuck how you feel?_

Night fell, and Athena was still walking on her own. Midnight apparently came, because the national anthem of Panem began to play from the sky, signalling the start of the death recap. Athena shrank into a shadowy corner to watch, but the canon hadn't gone off since Nolan's death, so she already knew what she would see. First Cane Thorn's name, photo, and District flashed in the sky; then Angus Keld's, then Rowan's, then Cara's (Athena's heart contracted painfully at those two), finishing with Nolan Bedford. Though Athena learned nothing new from watching the recap, it did make her realize she hadn't made signs for Cane or Angus; she had been so caught up by her grief over Rowan and Cara, she had forgotten all about Cane and Angus; they had been forgotten already, just like the Capitol wanted... she thought about making signs for each of the fallen tributes thus far, but quickly realized that was too many faces, names, districts to match... she could not remember them all... there was no escaping this trap, these Games, you fell into them whether you liked it or not.

Athena shook her head as though to clear it, thinking.  _Focus on what you can do, not on what you can't._

And so Athena pulled out two planks of wood, two sticks, and the length of rope, setting to work on building two new signs. The first sign read:

_Cane Thorn, 17_

_District 11_

_Things can still grow._

 

The second sign read:

_Angus Keld, 18_

_District 10_

_In the end, I'm not your pawn._

 

Both quotations were taken from their interview with Caesar. Cane had been asked to say what he thought everyone back home should remind themselves of, no matter whether he made it home or not. Athena could only hope that writing it on this makeshift grave would remind Cane Thorn's family and serve as some sort of penance for what she had done to him. Angus had been replying to a slightly exasperated Caesar (as Angus had refused to play along with the Capitol's game in the slightest), who had asked him what Angus thought the most important trait about himself was. Athena figured that if that was truly what he thought was most important, that was the only thing to put on his grave.

Athena must have been far away from the place where they had killed Cane and Angus, and it was too easy to get lost in this arena, especially in the dark. Finally, she settled by placing the signs side-by-side into the around, against the wall of some wrecked building that seemed to once have been a train station. By then, it was far too late for her to still be out in the open like this, so she simply stumbled into the nearest house she could find that was both fairly in-tact and completely empty, which was a fairly spacious home with curtainless windows.

She walked slowly into the bare sitting room, looking around warily. Some patches on the floor were lighter than others, suggesting that furniture had been there for a long time before being removed. There was a ball of some blue fabric balled up in the corner of the room by the window. Athena walked forward slowly, cautiously, before picking up the large piece of fabric and examining it. She glanced over at the window - and realized something with an unpleasant jolt. The blue fabric was the curtain to the window. Blue curtains signalled danger. She was in danger. Someone must have hidden the curtain in some attempt to trick tributes - be it the Gamemakers or another tribute, she didn't know. All she knew was that she would be in trouble if she didn't get out of there and soon.

Just as she came to this conclusion, a ticking noise started up from somewhere else in the house. She followed the noise to the dining room, and on a rickety wooden table, sat a grenade; ticking, ticking, ticking, waiting to explode and bring the whole world down with it. Athena did not stop to think; the back door was closer, so that was where she ran, tearing her way out of the house and into the backyard. She sprinted across it, her heart pounding what felt like in time with the ticking. As she reached the fence and started to climb over it frantically, some part of her realized she would not make it far enough away in time.

 _I have to try_ , she thought.  _I have to try. I have to. I promised._

And so she did, climbing up that rough wooden fence as fast as she could, ignoring the wood splinters that stabbed her fingers and her palms as she moved at top speed. She was on the other side of the fence when the explosion brought the whole house down.


	13. XIII

**XIII**

 

Finnick Odair could not remember the last time he had been so frantic. He was with a client, but he had managed to have a moment to himself, checking up on his tributes, just in time to see Athena caught in an explosion at the house in which she had wanted to rest. There was no canon, which meant she was still alive, but she was buried somewhere between all the rubble. She must have been injured, and who knew how long she could last, being buried under there. Finnick had only stopped for a moment to be shocked, before leaping to his feet and dressing as quickly as he could.

The client, Sabrina Lush, a woman with skin dyed a light pink and golden hair, who had previously been sleeping, woke up at the sound of him getting dressed. She was on her feet immediately, wrapping a blanket around herself and frowning.

"Finnick? But where are you going? The night is still young, isn't it?"

"Look, Sabrina, sweetie - I'd love to stay," he lied, only because he knew he still had to keep up appearances, "but I need to go. One of my tributes - Athena - I need to help her, she got caught in an explosion."

"So she died?" said Sabrina, shocked and confused.

"No," Finnick said. "But she might, if I don't find Mags so we can do everything we can to help her. I'm sorry, but I need to go now."

"But - but you said we were only just beginning..."

It took an enormous amount of effort to stay patient. He could not lose it now. If he lost his cool, if he gave any sign that he did not truly love her, Finnick would be in serious trouble, and Snow would make Mags pay for it. He could not risk it. He walked forward and placed his hands on Sabrina's shoulders.

"Sabrina," he said, as calmly as he could. "Sweetheart, I would stay if I could, but my tribute is in serious danger. She could die if we don't help her, and it's my job as a mentor to do what I can for her. My tributes, my responsibility. I don't know what I'll do if she dies and I didn't do everything I could to help, okay? I'll be back when I can, but right now, Athena Maris needs me."

He waited for her response. For a moment, it looked as though Sabrina was still going to try and convince him to stay. Then, something in her seemed to shift, for she was saying, "Oh, it's so sweet that you care so much! Your tributes should feel so  _lucky_ to have a mentor like you! Here, I'll give you one hundred right now to start you off. Do with it what you feel you need to do."

Sabrina moved away quickly, grabbing her purse and digging through it until she found the correct amount of notes. She placed it in Finnick's hands.

"Now hurry along, do what you need to do for her!"

"Thank you, Sabrina, Finnick said, grateful that the interaction had gone even better than he had been hoping, and he was out the door and hurrying back to the tribute tower within moments.

Alayne, as he had been expecting, was asleep. Once she finished her duties as escort and the tributes were in the Games, she left any other responsibilities that might rest to Finnick and Mags. Neither of them minded; Alayne staying out of their way really did nothing but help them. Mags, like he had known she'd be, was wide awake, pacing up and down the sitting room, her eyes on the television as she bit down on her nails nervously, looking distinctly frazzled.

The television was no longer showing Athena, not that he had expected it to (why would they focus on an unconscious girl, after all?), instead showing a group of tributes trying to find some sort of shelter for the rest of the night. Mags turned away as Finnick strode into the room, and the two rushed to meet each other.

"You saw - ?" Mags said.

Finnick nodded, forcing himself to stay calm. "We need sponsors. A lot of them. It's lucky that she's so well-liked."

"But how well-liked?" Mags said, her brow furrowed.

"Enough," Finnick said, trying not to panic at the thought of what would happen to Athena if they could not help her. "It has to be."

Mags saw the almost scared look on Finnick's face and seemed to realize his feelings went beyond a mentor wanting to look after their tribute. Finnick wished he had been more careful with his emotions, calmer and less frantic. Even around Mags, it was difficult to let go of the feeling that he had to hide his feelings to survive. Still, there was no going back now; Mags already knew. She always did.

"Then let's get to work," she said gently, taking him by the shoulders and looking at him in the motherly sort of way she always looked at him. Mags always seemed to see something in Finnick, something worth caring for and looking after, even when no one else had, including himself. "I'll go see old contacts of mine, old fans. It shouldn't be hard to convince them, but they're slow to act, so I'll need to move right away."

"I'll see old fans of mine, too," Finnick said. "Old clients. They won't take as much time. They'll be bitter I left them, but they'll do anything for me, especially if I make them think there's a chance I'll come back to them."

Mags looked surprised. Finnick had never gone to old clients for sponsorships. He had always avoided it, and he had never needed to do it.

"You don't have to - "

"Athena needs all the help she can get from us," Finnick said firmly. "So, yes, I do."

Mags stared at him for another moment, something on her face that he couldn't read, before she simply nodded, moving away from him and saying, "Then let's get going. We'll move into the city and split up - divide and conquer. We'll meet back here at sunrise and see where we're at then, okay?"

It had taken Finnick a while to become able to understand what Mags was saying as perfectly as he did now. She was hard to understand after her stroke years back, after her Games in general, he knew, but time and effort made it much easier to understand what she was saying. The problem was that very few people ever actually tried to understand her in the first place. It was one of the things about Athena that had made him like her right away. She always wanted to hear what Mags had to say, and was willing to actually try to understand her.

Finnick nodded. Mags threw on a shawl and some shoes and was walking into the elevator immediately. Finnick looked back at the television. They had cut back to Athena, still somewhere mid the wreckage, still injured and still unconscious. Determination now unwavering inside of him, he followed Mags into the elevator.

Once they were out of the Training Center and on the streets of the Capitol, it was not long until they had to separate, bidding each other good luck and telling each other to be careful. Not that there was much to worry about in terms of safety, Finnick thought, shoving his hands in his pockets. The Capitol was a dangerous place, but not in the sense that he had to worry about getting hurt while walking through the city. If anything, he felt much safer walking the streets of the Capitol than he did in the Training Center, the Remake Center, or any government building. Besides, the people here loved him and Mags far too much to do anything to them.

His first stop was a former client who lived just down the road, named Atlas Yule. Atlas had been one of his very first. Finnick had been presented to him as a gift by his brother, Abel, for his birthday. Finnick remembered the entire experience; he stayed with him for four days, throughout most of which Atlas was drunk. He had been nice, though. That used to mean something to Finnick. He had expected the clients all to be cruel to him; he didn't know why, looking back on it. They wouldn't be buying him if they didn't like him. The problem wasn't that they hated him; it was that they liked him too much, in the wrong ways, and it still didn't make them see him as anything more than someone made to please them in whatever way they wanted. After the four days were over, Finnick went back to the Training Center, threw up, and slept for nearly a full day. Mags let him, taking over all the mentoring duties for that time. When Finnick awoke, he continued with his responsibilities as mentor and faced his next client. And so it had gone for the next two years. And so it will go, he knew, until the Capitol didn't find him desirable anymore.

Finnick hadn't seen Atlas Yule since those four days had ended. Sometimes he was repurchased by and regifted to the same person, but it had never happened with Atlas, and Finnick never went back unless he had no other choice. The memories were too vivid, too terrible for him to ever  _want_ to return. Finnick remembered everything since becoming a tribute. Every last detail. It had only been four years, but he doubted he would ever forget. He remembered his Reaping, he remembered training, he remembered every second in the arena, and every moment that followed. It was one thing to always have to relive it in his head; the last thing he wanted was to keep reliving it in reality.

One thing people always asked was how he felt about the attention he was getting. He always said he loved it, as he was expected to. But for a time, he had been telling the truth - or at least, he thought he had been. It wasn't quite that Finnick loved the attention he was getting. It was that he was fourteen and alone and scared, and getting attention from the Capitol meant they would help him survive, and Finnick liked surviving, and so he liked the attention. Once Finnick was no longer just surviving, though, he grew to hate it. Hate the way his skin crawled when they touched him like he was a thing to be possessed, hated the way his name sounded on their lips, hated the fact that they would never not be watching him.

But it had its advantages. It could save Athena.

Atlas Yule lived in an expensive penthouse suite. He was more than a little tipsy when he answered the door for Finnick, having to lean against the door-frame for support.

Finnick smirked seductively. "Nice to see you again, Atlas."

It took Atlas a moment to recognize him in his drunken state, leaning forward and squinting as though to try and make out his facial features better. When he finally recognized him, his eyes widened.

"Finnick!" he said, slurring. "My, my... it's been a while... it's - it's been - it's been - "

"Two years," Finnick answered for him, striding into the suite, looking around. Everything the same. The same furniture, the same spacious layout, the same windows that go from floor to ceiling, the same bottles of various types of alcohol lining the kitchen counter. Finnick didn't know if that made it easier or harder. "You haven't changed much."

Atlas took a few clumsy steps forward, saying, "I hope that doesn't bother you."

"Not at all," Finnick replied easily, his voice that rehearsed seductive purr, unsure of whether that was a lie or not.

"Good," Atlas said, hiccuping slightly. "Good. So... so what brings you here? Why are you coming back around here so late at night?"

"I can't stay for long," Finnick said, walking towards him. "I've got a lot to do tonight. But I just... missed you. I thought we could catch up... see where that goes."

Atlas looked like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Catch up? R-Really? Well, that sounds wonderful! But... why now? I thought you'd have your hands full after what happened to that tribute of yours... you saw that, of course, didn't you?"

"I did," Finnick said. "Now, since you bring that up..." Finnick, still remembering his way around the penthouse, found two glasses and poured them each a glass of whiskey. His smirk widening just slightly, he held one out to Atlas. "Have a drink, sweetheart."

 

*

 

Finnick was gone after half an hour, leaving a significantly more drunk Atlas Yule behind him and a good amount of money with him. Atlas had believed everything he had said hook, line, and sinker. Finnick almost felt bad for leading Atlas on like this - almost. It was hard to feel guilty when he was the one viewed as the object to be used and bought and sold. Visiting other former clients went exactly the same way. If he ignored the sick feeling in his stomach, he could almost be pleased with the way the endeavor worked out. He had gotten a lot of money from sponsors, and he still didn't know how much money Mags had gotten, either. It was very possible that they would have a good amount of money left over, to use to help either Athena or Kai in the future.

He made it back to their floor in the Training Center when the sun was starting to bathe the city in warm orange light. Mags still wasn't there and Alayne was still asleep, so he turned on the television with the intention to see if Athena had woken up or not. There were large screens throughout the city with the name, district, and picture of each tribute. If a tribute was dead, their picture would burn out and darken. Athena's picture was still bright and vivid, meaning she was still hanging on, even if it was only just. He had only just sat down and turned on the television, however, when Mags came striding inside.

Finnick leapt to his feet. "How did it go?"

"It went great," Mags replied, walking over to meet him in the middle of the sitting room. "Nearly four hundred overall. How about you?"

"Six hundred," Finnick said, relieved. "That should be more than enough, right? As long as she hasn't broken anything really serious."

Mags nodded, patting him on the shoulder reassuringly. "She'll be fine. We'll get her through this. Don't lose your head."

"I'm not losing my head," Finnick said, despite the worry that was beginning to overwhelm him. The television cut to another shot of Athena buried under the wreckage, which did nothing to help his worries. "So, next we should - "

"What?" Mags said with raised eyebrows, though not unkindly. "What is there to do? We can't send her any gifts, she's still unconscious. Someone else will just find it and pick it up. They might even find her and kill her, if they realize she's not dead. We have no way of knowing what injuries she even has, which means we might send her a gift that's useless. We got the money from the sponsors. For now, that's the best we can do. I know you're worried about her, but there's nothing we can do now but wait."

Finnick knew she was right. Sighing, he threw himself onto the sofa. Mags sat down beside him, taking off the shawl and placing it on the arm of the sofa, her hands folded in her lap. Finnick leaned forward, his head in his hands, his eyes glued to the television.

 _Come on, Athena,_ Finnick thought.  _Come on, you've got this. Wake up, come on._

He was not, he realized, as prepared to lose Athena as he should have been. After all, only one of twenty-four tributes could make it out, and as strong and capable as Athena was, Finnick was always prepared for the possibility of both of his tributes to die in the arena. After a few years of doing this, Finnick had trained himself to be indifferent, to do what he could to help but ultimately bring himself not to care on any personal level. He should not have been this upset at the prospect of Athena dying, and yet he was.

He had grown attached. It was the only explanation, really. He was attached to her in a way that suggested that there was no letting go. He thought about what he had told her when he was helping her prepare for her interview with Caesar, when she had been worried about what she would do to make the Capitol fall in love with her.  _"Do what you did to me."_

In spite of what he had told her that night, Finnick wasn't truly in love with her, and he knew Athena knew it, too. What he felt was something else, a dangerous sort of feeling, the kind he was vaguely aware, somewhere in the back of his mind, could later turn to love - the kind of love you couldn't go back from - if he wasn't very, very careful about how he handled himself with her. The only good thing Finnick could find in her going into the arena was that perhaps the distance between them could help him think a little more straight.

Then again, there he was, worrying endlessly about whether or not she would be alright. Her being in the arena where it felt like he could never do enough to help her only made things worse, if anything. The distance had only made things harder. He should've kept his distance sooner, should've stuck only with Kai, the way he knew Kai had wanted it. He used to excuse it by saying that he had more to worry about with Athena; Kai followed the standard Career mold, there wasn't much he needed to do with him, but Athena had always been a much different, a much more  _difficult_ matter. Even now, Kai was still doing fine with the Careers, while Athena was unconscious, buried under rubble after getting caught in an explosion. Still, he was starting to realize that that had just been an excuse he told himself.

 _Kai could tell right away,_ Finnick thought, remembering the conversation he had had with Kai after Athena expressed concern with his behaviour, the conversation where Kai asked to be coached separately by Finnick.  _Kai saw right through my bullshit, even when I didn't._

The conversation had been a rather awkward thing, he recalled. He was glad Athena never asked him to recount it in detail; it was the first time he had felt properly embarrassed by something in years.

"Something up, Emerson?" Finnick had asked after pulling him aside before breakfast. Mags and Alayne were dressing for the day and Athena was still asleep, leaving only them.

"No, nothing," Kai replied with that Finnick recognized as a forced look of confusion. "Why would there be something?"

"I dunno," Finnick said, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall, "your district partner is under the impression that there is."

"Athena said something?" Kai said, immediately looking angry. "What did she say?"

"She said you were acting weirdly," Finnick had replied. "To quote her, you were acting  _cross_ with her, meaner, more aggressive."

"What, so everything goes perfect for her, but she wants to complain that I'm not kissing her ass?" Kai demands.

"Perfect in what way?" Finnick said, raising his eyebrows. "How exactly do you think things are going perfect for her?"

Kai had fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable with being questioned on his words. "You know, she impressed everyone in training, and I'm sure she's getting all sorts of attention from sponsors and people who want an alliance and - "

"You realize she had to work for that, right?" Finnick cut across him impatiently. "That's the result of her actually putting effort in and taking a risk that paid off. How about you try that out instead of wasting time on petty jealousy? You'll find things going perfect for you, too."

"It's not petty jealousy - " Kai had protested.

"Sure it's not," Finnick said sarcastically, rolling his eyes, standing up straight again.

"Well, even if it is, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I had mentors who helped me out!" Kai said hotly.

"Mags and I aren't here to cater to you like that," Finnick scoffed. "I hope you realize that we're not here to help you work through your petty teenage nonsense - "

"I don't mean  _that_ ," Kai said impatiently. "I mean that you mentor Athena better than you mentor me."

"Are you hearing yourself?" Finnick said, raising his eyebrows. "Should we come back to this later when you can think rationally again? I've been giving you both the exact same advice."

"You treat us different," Kai had replied stubbornly. "You give her more attention, you like her better. It makes you a better mentor to her."

It was such an unexpected comment that he fumbled a little as he tried to respond. "That's - you - I was under the impression that this was the Hunger Games, not a platform for your childish temper tantrum - "

"You know I'm right!" Kai said, annoyed. "You can't even deny it!"

"Right, you make all the assumptions you want about my personal feelings," Finnick said impatiently, still avoiding addressing Kai's accusation, "but that's between you and me. Leave Athena out of it, because it's gotten to the point where she doesn't even think you want an alliance with her anymore."

"Of course I do!" Kai had said, looking genuinely surprised at the statement. "But what's going on here isn't fair and you know it!"

"Well, what do you want to be done about it?" Finnick said expectantly. "Unless you're content with complaining and doing nothing to change it?"

Kai, somehow, looked even more surprised at being asked what he wanted to be done about it. He took a deep breath, before saying, "I want to be coached separately."

"Okay," Finnick said. "Do you have a preference for who coaches you?"

Finnick already knew the answer to that one, though. This whole fit had been because Kai thought Finnick was investing too much on Athena instead of him. Besides, Kai had never cared much for Mags' advice, Finnick knew; people rarely did.

"Well," Kai said, "if I get to pick, I'd rather be coached by you."

"Okay," Finnick said again. "Then that's that. I'll coach you, Mags will coach Athena."

Kai blinked, surprised. "That's it?"

"What's it?"

"You're just going to go with it?" Kai had asked, looking genuinely surprised.

"Yeah," Finnick said, "why wouldn't I?"

"Because - because you - you like her better - "

"Like I said," Finnick said in exasperation, "you can make all the assumptions you want about my personal feelings, but despite what you clearly think, I'm capable of being professional every now and then. If this is how you think you'll be best prepared, then so be it. Happy now?"

Kai spluttered for a moment, before finally saying lamely, "Yeah. Yeah, this works."

Looking back on it, Finnick thought that the worst thing by far about the whole conversation with Kai was that he wasn't even  _wrong_. He really did prefer Athena to Kai, prefer spending time with her, talking to her, working things out with her. He knew Mags had noticed it, even if she hadn't commented on it. Even Kai had noticed it.

But that still didn't really mean anything, he tried to reason with himself. Even if he did prefer Athena, he still mentored Kai just as well. He knew that he did. And besides, liking Athena better didn't mean his feelings were anything special, were anything dangerous. She was just  _different_ , that was all. She was different from Kai, different from other tributes he had mentored, different from anyone he knew. He just didn't want to lose that chance in this world of suffocating sameness, that was all. It didn't mean he really liked her all that much or anything. He couldn't. He knew he couldn't.

Still, he murmured to Mags who was still seated beside him, never removing his eyes from the television, "I don't think I'm getting any sleep any time soon."

"Okay," Mags said, knowing better than to try and convince him to rest at a time like this. She moved to idly fix his hair in a motherly sort of way, making it neater. "I'll be here."

Finnick nodded once, taking a deep breath as he stared at the television, trying and failing to relax. It would be a long wait.

 

*

 

When Athena woke, her entire body felt like it was on fire. Everything was sore, everything  hurt to move. She tried to breathe, but it felt like her lungs were being crushed and there was little air to go around. She tried to open her eyes, but dust got caught in them, stinging her eyes and forcing her to squeeze them shut again. When enough tears had come from her eyes to wash the dust out, she opened her eyes again. Everything was pitch black, except for some few holes through which what seemed like sunlight shone through, contrasting with the darkness that was everywhere else, forcing her to squint against it. Athena coughed a few times, but a pressure against her chest made it difficult.

After a moment, it registered in her mind that the soreness was coming from the fact that she was in the middle of the wreckage of the explosion that she had been caught in last night. The explosive clearly hadn't been very strong (it had brought the house down, but it hadn't been a very sturdy house), and she was far enough away so that it wouldn't kill her, but she still hadn't gotten far enough away to escape its effects. She had ended up somewhere in the middle of all the wreckage, so that she didn't have the weight of all the rubble on her, but still enough for her to feel like she was suffocating. There was also the debris underneath her that was poking at and digging into her body painfully.

She shifted slightly, moving different parts of her body the best that she could, trying to get a better idea of her injuries. From what it felt like, she definitely had several large cuts throughout her body, a sprained ankle, a swollen wrist, and a black eye. Athena also felt a dull pain at the back of her head that let her know it was bleeding. As much pain as she was in, Athena had to take a moment to acknowledge that she had gotten very, very lucky. If she had been even a few steps back, she could have been injured much, much worse, or even dead.

Now that Athena had a better idea of what her injuries like, she now set her focus on trying to free herself from the rubble. Somehow, her backpack had stayed securely on her shoulders, but her spear and shield were no longer in her hands. She reached her hands out as best as she could, wincing and groaning in pain due to the soreness, trying to see if her weapons had been buried under the wreckage with her. After groping around aimlessly for a moment, she finally managed to grab hold of her shield. She couldn't reach her spear, though, which made anxiety shoot through her at the idea of the loss of the weapon at which she was most adept.

Still, there was nothing for it now. She could work on getting herself a new spear, but only if she could free herself. She looked around, trying to find the biggest hole amidst the wreckage. When she found it above her to her left, she set to work on moving aside bits of rubble and debris, widening the hole, until it was just big enough for her to climb through it.

Athena waited just a moment, checking for the sound of any potential threats from the outside. When she heard nothing, she sent her shield up through the hole, before climbing up with difficulty, ignoring the screaming pain all over her body as she forced herself through the rubble and into the open air, taking a deep, shuddering breath as she did. When she was finally fully free and on top of the remains of the house, Athena tried to climb back down onto the ground, but she was still weak and her movements were clumsy, so she tripped and ended up rolling all the way down, landing painfully onto the sand.

Cursing everything in her mind and wiping the sand off of her face and clothes, she made herself sit up straight, despite her body protesting the notion of movement at all. Athena checked her surroundings. The vicinity seemed completely deserted. The positioning of the sun in the sky told her it was either late morning or early afternoon. She had only been out for a night. If anyone had seen her, they must have thought she was dead or dying and left her alone. She had to be thankful for their carelesness. To her left, she saw her spear simply laying there on the ground, as though waiting for her. Relief flooding through her, she crawled over hurriedly, temporarily ignoring the pain, and picked it up. With her spear and her shield now safely in her hands, her backpack still secure on her shoulders, she took a deep breath, as though to brace herself; then, still slightly unsteady, she pushed herself to her feet.

The pain in her legs, particularly her sprained ankle, was so great that her legs almost gave way and made her collapse back to the floor. Athena took another deep breath, and took a step forward. Then another. Then another. Limping, she took on a slow, steady pace as she walked, but the soreness was still all over, and the pain in her injures was all over, and every time she looked down she saw her clothes being stained with blood from her cuts, and her head was still bleeding, wetting her dark, curly, now frizzy hair with blood. Soon, it all felt like too much, and she fell to the floor again behind an old, decrepit shed.

She brought her knees to her chest, burying her head in her knees, her whole body shaking. She realized after a time that she was crying, and she hated herself for it, but she could not  _help_ it. It all hurt so much, and it wasn't only physical pain. It felt as though everyone she loved were millions of miles away, too far gone for there to be any point for her to still be struggling and fighting like this. Rowan and Cara were dead, gone, and any chance she might have had with Kai was gone, too, and she was all alone. She had no one. So why did she fight? Why did she struggle? Why did she force herself through it all when all she was met with was more pain? Perhaps it was best to give in... it would be quicker, easier, practically painless...

Her body still shaking with silent sobs, she brought her head up from her knees and looked down at her chest, seeing the necklace her mother gave her still there. She brought her hand to the blue spinel pendant, clutching it in her fist. She brought it to her lips, closing her eyes and forcing herself to picture her mother's smile, her father's booming laugh, the way her sister liked to dance around the house, even when there was no music. They were not millions of miles away. They were in District Four. They were waiting for her to come back to them. And so was Hudson, and so were Mags and Finnick. They thought she could win. They wanted her to win. They wanted her to come back.

Athena waited until the tears stopped flowing, then wiped them with the back of her sleeve. She took a few more moments to do those deep breathing exercises, until her breathing was steady; then, she rose to her feet once more. This time, she used her spear as a staff to help her along as she limped forward. She stuck close to the shadows, using the walls of houses and buildings as support. Athena stopped when she reached a relatively intact, abandoned house with a red curtain. She couldn't be out in the open for much longer. If she ran into any enemies, she wouldn't be able to hold her own in a fight with anyone, not in her state. She went to open the door, but as her hand went to the door knob, a giant shadow appeared over her, covering her and the house in darkness. Athena looked up and found the hovercraft floating above her. Already knowing what was about to happen, smiling to herself, she hurried forward as quickly as she could in her injured state, extending her arms to catch the gift as it was dropped. As soon as it was in her hands, the hovercraft disappeared again, probably moving away as silently as it always did.

Athena didn't stop to see what the gift was or even what note Mags and Finnick left for her. She could do that when she was out of harm's way. She walked back to the house, opened the door and stumbled inside, closing the door behind her and breathing a sigh of relief. She searched the house, making sure it was truly abandoned and without traps, before limping forward until she was in the sitting room, collapsing against the wall beside a window, making sure the curtains were drawn. It was only then that she checked out the gift, reading the note, which read:

_About time you woke up. You worry us sometimes, you know that? Anyways, we hope this helps._

_Don't forget about your fans outside the arena,_

_Mags and Finnick_

She smiled to herself as she opened up the box. Inside were more bandages, made of a better, stronger material than the ones inside her first aid kit, packs of ice, pure alcohol to help with infections, another flask of water, and a jar filled with a cream that smelled horrible but Athena knew sped up the healing process at a surprising rate. Athena's smile widened.

 _They move quick,_ Athena thought.

She made to set to work on fixing up her injuries, but just as she was about to start, she saw too figures pass by the window of the sitting room and voices talk in hushed whispers.

"I think we should rest," one voice said.

"And I think you're being ridiculous," said another. "It's the middle of the goddamn day, why would we rest  _now?_ "

"Because we haven't rested in  _two days!_ " said the first voice. "We're going to, like, pass out from exhaustion or something!"

"Don't be dramatic," said the second, sounding exasperated. "We're not going to pass out. We can last the rest of the day. And you know good and well we haven't rested those two nights because it was dangerous for us to."

"Well, what's the danger in us going into this house and just getting some fucking sleep?" the first voice demanded, and fear seized Athena's heart. "Besides, if we go out at night, we can catch some people while they're sleeping."

 _Please don't come in here, please don't come in here, please don't come in here,_ Athena thought to herself, shutting her eyes tight and gripping onto her spear even tighter.

"Listen, there's only two of us now, and neither of us are master fighters, alright? We used to have Angus and Cane for that, but now we don't," said the first voice, and it dawned on Athena that it was Dayta Fuse and Will Pinegrove talking, the only ones left of their alliance after Athena, Rowan, and Cara had killed Angus and Cane. Right now, it was Dayta talking.

_Please don't come in here, please don't come in here, please don't come in here._

"We're not going to win this thing through fights. We're going to win by keeping a low profile, moving from place to place, finding shelter every night. Let's just stick to that."

_Please don't come in here, please don't come in here, please don't come in here._

A pause.

_Please don't come in here, please don't come in here, please don't come in here._

Dayta's impatient voice saying, "Will?"

_Please don't come in here, please don't come in here, please don't come in here._

Then, finally: "Fine. Whatever. If I pass out, I hope you're strong enough to carry me."

"Shut up, Pinegrove."

The two figures moved back the way they had came, and relief flooded through Athena. She took a moment to calm her breathing and her rapid heart rate alike, before refocusing on tending to her injuries. The first thing she tended to was her cuts. First, wincing and hissing in pain, she put some of the alcohol on the cut at the back of her head, biting onto the collar of her cargo jacket to avoid making too much noise, before also applying the cream, trying to ignore the smell. She then cut off a long strip from one of the bandages, wrapping it around her head securely and clipping it in place. She repeated the process with the rest of her many cuts, using only the bare minimum of the resources she needed.

When she was finished with the cuts, she moved onto her swollen wrist. She applied the cream to the swollen area, used another strip of the bandages to wrap it up tightly, before placing one of the packs of ice on it. The ice wouldn't last long in this heat, so she would have to utilize them while she could. She wrapped another strip of the bandages to keep the pack of ice in place. She did the same for the sprained ankle, before repeating the process with her black eye, using her last pack of ice to bring down the swelling there. It wasn't an idea situation, because it completely took away visibility from her left eye, but if she attached the ice to her wounds in this way, she would have her hands free, which was necessary for what she wanted to do next.

The explosion had left her weak. She couldn't wait for all her injuries to heal and the pain to go away completely to be able to function properly. She didn't have the time. She could not stay in this house forever (the Gamemakers would surely use some trap to lure her out), and even if she could, she could not rely on the hope that nobody would come in to rest for a time. She had gotten lucky once. She wasn't sure she would get lucky again. She needed to be able to build up her strength as much as she could, as best as she could.

Athena started with stretches and warm-ups. She did all the stretches that they did every morning and afternoon in the academy. She wasn't as flexible as she normally was, but it would have to do. She moved onto other warm-ups next, doing all the exercises that they dedicate an hour to everyday. She even used an empty clothes rack in a nearby closet to do pull-ups. Athena didn't move onto the next exercise until she had done at least fifty of each, no matter how long it took.

When she was done with stretches and warm-ups, she moved onto working on actually being able to move around efficiently, starting out with walking. She walked around the whole house, through hallways, up and down the stairs, in and out and around every room, using her spear as a staff again. Once she had done three full laps around the house without any major problems, she moved to a faster walk; then a job, which was awkward with a limp and a makeshift staff; then a run, which was even more awkward, but still, she managed to conquer it. When she was finished, she repeated the process, but without using her spear as a staff. This was harder, it took longer to conquer, but again, she managed it.

These two challenges along took hours, and by the time she could run around the house without using her spear as a staff, night had already fallen. Athena realized that the ice packs were beginning to melt completely and walked over to the kitchen, opening the freezer to see if there was anything in there that could be used. As she had admittedly expected, there was nothing, but she figured it was worth trying. She removed the ice packs once and for all and placed them to the side, hoping that they had at least helped the swelling go down a little.

Refusing to get discouraged, she moved to the next obstacle; fighting. This would be more difficult; the wrist that was swollen and the ankle that was sprained was her right wrist and ankle, meaning she was injured in her dominant hand and leg. She needed to learn how to fight despite her injuries.

Athena began fighting with weapons. First came knives, practicing her ability with knife-throwing by using a worn cutting-board as a target, before practicing using them as melee weapons. After knives, she moved onto spears. This was a little easier, since she had always been much better with spears than with knives, but it still took time. By the time she was finished practicing her abilities with her spear both as a throwing and a melee weapon, midnight had already come, but there were no new deaths for the recap to show, so she continued trying to build up her strength.

After she was finished practicing with her weapons, she moved onto hand-to-hand combat. Using some of the rope in her backpack, she suspended her backpack from the top of a bookshelf, using it as a practice dummy. She began with punching, using both her injured and uninjured hand, learning to punch in a way that didn't put too much pressure on her swollen wrist. After finishing with punches, she moved onto kicks, managing a stronger kick with her left leg, and figuring out a way to kick in a way that put less pressure on her swollen ankle.

By the time she had mastered all of those areas, it was well into the middle of the night. She could not think of anything else that she could do for herself. All she could do was rest and hope her efforts would be enough to carry her further in the Games. Drinking from the new flask of water before replacing it in her backpack, she limped over to the sofa and collapsed onto it, placing her right leg on the arm of the sofa and her right hand on the back of the sofa to elevate them. The sofa was lumpy and misshapen, but this was the first time since before arriving in the arena that she hadn't slept on the floor, so it felt like the rarest of luxuries. Her eyes closed, she brought the spinel pendant of the necklace to her lips again.

"I'm coming back," she murmured to it, as though her family could hear her more clearly this way, even if the television screen wasn't on her at the moment, as if she could speak her survival into existence. "Don't give up on me, I'm coming back. Just you wait."

And with those words still hanging in the air, she drifted off to sleep.


	14. XIV

**XIV**

 

Athena woke to the sensation of something tickling her neck. She opened her eyes, looking down, and saw a large, hairy spider crawling along her neck. With a start and a cry of surprise, she flicked if off her neck, sending it flying across the rather small sitting room. It started crawling back to her at top speed, and she took that time to examine it and realize it wasn't poisonous. Still, it was a rather creepy-looking thing and she had never liked spiders. As it approached her, she stabbed the end of one of its legs with her spear, spearing it to the blade. She then stood up, walked over to the window with the spider still twitching and struggling madly on the end of her spear, and scraped it off the end of her blade, freeing it. It scrambled away from her as quickly as it could move, with an odd sort of limp to it now.

 _It's like me now,_ Athena thought, as she watched it move away until it was out of sight, suddenly feeling more alone than ever.

She limped back over to the sofa, collapsing back onto it with a sigh. The rumbling in her stomach made her realize she hadn't eaten all day yesterday. She pulled the food out of her bag and ate a breakfast consisting of a handful of those stale oats. She was running low on food again, but she knew she could make what was left last a few days.

Athena set her focus on checking on her injuries. The swelling on her black eye, swollen wrist, and sprained ankle had indeed gone down greatly. She touched the black eye tentatively. She could see out of her left eye perfectly again, but she could tell the bruising hadn't gone away completely. She shrugged it off. She wasn't going to rebandage the black eye and lose vision in one of her eyes simple because she didn't look very pretty. She rubbed more of the cream onto the bruising, then one her wrist and ankle, before rebandaging the latter two. She moved onto cuts next, which she found were healing rapidly, beginning to scar. She applied more cream on the cuts, before replacing the used, bloodied bandages with new ones.

With that, she stood and repeated all the exercises she had done the previous day, starting with warmups and stretches, to moving around, to fighting. It still pained her to move much at all, but it all felt much easier than it had the previous day. Athena didn't feel completely rejuvenated, but it was still enough to keep her going.

With that, she made her way out of the house and into the open desert air, starting to walk with no real direction. Just an hour of this served as a good reminder that just because she felt better than she did the day before did not mean that she felt good. The pain and soreness from her injuries were still there, and even after being in the arena for so long, she wasn't fully used to the desert heat. Even the hottest summers in District Four were never like this. She was sweating all over, her lips felt dry and cracked, and her throat felt perpetually dry, even immediately after drinking. It was hard not to be overcome with a desire for it all to just end, no matter how it happened.

She continued on the way all the same, sticking to the shadows as much as she could, both to keep out of sight and to keep as cool as she could. After a few hours, however, she could hear panicked shouting and a door slamming. She hastened to hide behind a building, looking around the corner to see what was happening. Two or three tributes were rushing out of a house opposite the building she was hiding behind in a hurry. They left through the back, however, so that she could only get glimpses of them as they started running away, looking back at something behind them and yelling at each other to hurry, apparently too panicked to remember to keep their voices down. Athena looked over to where they were looking to see what was making them lose their cool - and her heart dropped. What seemed to be a swarm of large, scaly lizards were rapidly approaching. They were clearly genetically modified by the Capitol so that they could move faster than any lizard she'd ever seen, and even fly into the air. Occasionally, one of them would spit out some greenish substance, and whatever the substance touched would sizzle and burn, melting away.

Cursing profusely under her breath, Athena turned around and ran for her life. It hurt like hell to put so much extra pressure on her sprained ankle, but she had no other choice but to speed up to escape the creatures who seemed to be gaining speed with every passing second. One of them, drawing closer to her, spit at her, and though the substance only barely brushed by the side of her torso, it still felt like her skin was aflame, and when Athena looked down, she saw the fabric of her white tunic melting away where the acidic substance had touched it, her skin sizzling and scorched. Letting out a cry of pain, Athena turned around and stabbing the lizard through its head, then turned around and kept running, all in one fluid motion. She was realizing, however, that she needed to get out of reach of these lizards.

She looked around, trying to find some way out, when she realized that the only way out was up. The creatures could fly, but from the looks of it, not that high. If she could climb up a building, leap to different rooftops until she was finally on top of one tall enough...

It was her best shot, so she changed course, running over to the nearest tall building that still looked easy enough to climb. She stabbed a lizard that came charging at her through its stomach, before reaching the building and beginning to climb as fast as her injuries would allow, using windowsills and craters on the sides of the building as footholds and handholds. A few times as she climbed, the creature spit that acidic substance in her direction, but it missed her each time, hitting the brick wall around her instead.

When she reached the top of the building, she climbed onto the roof, half of which was saved in, another result of the war that had occurred there. Just as she straightened up on the rooftop, two of the lizards came flying at her, spitting the substance at her at once. She just barely managed to dodge it, stumbling backwards. She stabbed the first lizard in the head as it soared over her, scraping it off her blade with her shoe after. The second lizard came flying straight at her, but she held up her shield to block it, stopping it dead in its tracks. While it was temporarily stunned, she stabbed it in the face, making it drop to the floor with its companion.

Not wanting to allow any of the other creatures to catch up with her, she ran to the edge of the roof and jumped onto the rooftop next to it. She leapt from rooftop to rooftop, trying desperately to simply outrun the swarm of lizards. Finally, she saw a square of buildings higher than all the rest. She leapt forward, grabbing onto the windowsill of the nearest of the buildings and began to climb up, until she reached the edge of the roof and scrambled up. She ran forward and jumped onto the next rooftop over for good measure, crouching slightly when she managed to land on her feet. Athena watched the creatures carefully, and was relieved to find that she was too high on the roof to be in their reach. Still, she looked around for another roof to jump onto just in case, when suddenly the creatures seemed to retreat, shrinking away further and further into the shadows, disappearing the way they came, until they were gone altogether. There was no canon, meaning the lizards hadn't managed to kill anyone. Whatever purpose the Gamemakers were serving with the trick, it hadn't been to kill. Athena found nothing comforting in this, however; if anything, it felt like the Gamemakers had something much more sinister in mind.

Still, with the immediate threat gone, she was now able to focus on the burning pain in her side. She collapsed on the rooftop, breathing heavily. After a moment, Athena hiked up her shirt to check the damage done on her torso more clearly, and shuddered when she saw that the flesh had been burned away, and the patch of skin was now mangled, still sizzling. Afraid to touch it and deciding to deal with it once the damage was completely done, she straightened out her shirt again, wincing slightly as the back of her hand brushed the wound. She tilted her head back, looking up at the dazzlingly bright sky, letting out a sigh, feeling tempted to stay there forever, her arms stretched out on either side of her.

She couldn't stay there half so long as she wanted, however, because she heard footsteps and a vague, muffled voice in the distance. She sat up immediately, tensing up, and looking around, saw the girl from District Twelve, Marjorie Hopper, standing two rooftops away, slightly below her, holding a throwing knife in her hand. Athena scrambled to her feet immediately, reaching for her spear and shield again, though she didn't quite know what she would do with the spear. It felt particularly wrong to kill Marjorie, of all people in this arena. She had saved Athena twice now, though she had not needed to, and had even done it at the risk of her own life once. It felt like a poor way to repay her by killing her in cold blood. To Athena's surprise, however, Marjorie did not throw the knife at her right away. Instead, she just pointed at her, then pointed at the ground. Athena tilted her head at her, confused.

It was only when Marjorie threw the knife that Athena realized she meant for her to duck.

Holding back a yelp with difficultly, she ducked down quickly, covering her head with her hands. She looked back up at Marjorie, who was wearing a grimly satisfied expression on her face. Athena frowned, not understanding why she would be happy about throwing a knife for no reason, when she heard the gasp behind her.

Leaping to her feet and looking behind her, she saw a boy on the next rooftop over, the knife buried to the hilt in his chest. The bow and arrow that he had been holding before clattered to the floor, and Athena realized that he had been aiming at her. After a moment, she realized with a jolt that it was Will Pinegrove of District Twelve. The reason he hadn't fired at her was because he saw Marjorie and thought she would kill her for him. He had trusted her, and she had sent that knife straight to his chest. The boy dropped to his knees, clutching onto his chest around the knife, before falling on his side, the canon going off as he fell.

Horrified, Athena looked back at Marjorie, but she simply nodded at her once, bringing a finger to her lips, indicating for her not to talk, and turned around, leaping from rooftop to rooftop, running away. For a moment, Athena was frozen, watching her, but then she broke into a run, chasing after her, jumping off of rooftops to reach her.

When she was in earshot again, Athena stopped, calling out, loudly as she dared, "Wait! Stop!  _Wait!_ "

For a moment, Athena thought Marjorie was going to keep running and ignore her. To her surprise, however, she stopped, turning to look at her, her head tilted, as though confused as to why she wasn't just going along with everything. For a moment, Athena was at a loss for what to say, until she finally found the words.

"Why are you doing this? You could have killed me back there, why didn't you?" Athena said, as quietly as she could while still being heard. "Why are you helping me? That was your district partner, why did you kill him instead of me?"

Marjorie simply said nothing, shaking her head.

"Tell me!" Athena insisted, slightly desperate now. "Why are you helping me?"

Marjorie simply shook her head again, pointing behind her. Athena glanced over her shoulder and saw she was pointing at where her district partner's body still laid. Trying to ignore the way her stomach turned unpleasantly, she turned back to see Marjorie pointing up at the sky. It took Athena a moment to realize she meant that it was only a matter of time before the hovercraft came to collect the body. Athena realized she had to put the sign where his body was, immortalizing him, honouring him in some way. But  _how_ did this girl know about that? Had she seen the signs she had been making? How did she know that it was Athena who made them?

She looked back over at the girl to ask, but when she did, she was gone.

Sighing, Athena turned back and returned to where she had been standing before, jumping onto the next roof where Will Pinegrove was. From the looks of it, the boy was a year older than she was. His hair wasn't the golden, shining blond it had been when she had first seen him, as it was now matted with dirt and dried blood. He was a mixture of the Seam and the wealthy part of District Twelve, with his blond hair, dark olive complexion, and greyish blue eyes, though those eyes were staring straight up ahead, wide and unseeing. She closed them gently. Trying not to look at all of the blood that was still spilling from his chest (God, how much of it can one body have? she thought, horrified), she pulled back his jacket to double check the name stitched on the inside, the name she had always had a tendency to mess up in her mind:  _Will Pinegrove, District 12._

Athena swung her backpack off of her shoulder, opening it up and pulling out a stick, another plank of wood, and rope. She tied the stick to the plank of wood to make a makeshift sign, before tying the sign to a pipe near Will's head to keep it upright. Then, with her spear, she carved a message into the wood.

_Will Pinegrove, 18_

_District 12_

She was at a loss for what to write afterwards. She hadn't been close with this boy, she even had to check his jacket for his name. How many ways could you honour a person you didn't know? Then she remembered the lullaby he sang to Marjorie whenever she got nervous during training. She barely knew any of the words, but there was one part that stuck with her. She did not know what else to do, so she carved some of the lyrics into the plank of wood:

_Strange things did happen here._

She got to her feet again just as the hovercraft materialized above her. Athena wondered if they had purposely waited until she was done before appearing. She squinted up at the hovercraft above her, the wind blowing through her hair, before looking away, closing her eyes, as Will Pinegrove's body was sucked up by the forcefield, only opening her eyes again when the air around her became still, indicating the hovercraft's disappearance. She glanced back down at the sign she had created, ensuring that it hadn't disappeared with the body, before looking away, trying to figure out what to do next. She climbed down the side of the building carefully, jumping the last few feet onto the sandy ground below.

Before she could decide what to do next, a voice behind her yelled out, "Hey, Four!"

When Athena turned around, her reaction was immediate. "Oh,  _shit._ "

The Career pack (all of them save Nolan Bedford, who she had already killed, Athena noted, her heart sinking just slightly at the realization) had just turned a corner and were advancing on her slowly, smirks of triumph on their faces. Kai was hanging a little behind the rest, looking wary, but he still held his bow and arrows at the ready. Between the Careers, Will Pinegrove, and Marjorie Hopper, it suddenly became clear why the Gamemakers had sent those lizards after them. It wasn't to kill, it was to force more tributes together in one place. The Games had been too boring for the Capitol; this was just what was needed to stir up more excitement.

Athena was already backing away from them as subtly as she could, cursing her injuries, aching even more than they had before because of the pressure she had just put on them, as Sapphire Satin called out, "We saw what you did to Nolan, Four!"

"Yeah? And I saw what he did to Rowan!" Athena called back.

"He had it coming to him," Lana said maliciously. "Someone like that was never going to make it here. And neither are you!"

With that, the Careers all started running after her, but she had already turned and started running as fast as her injured ankle would take her. She ran and turned the corner into the square of buildings, just as two arrows whizzed past her head. As she glanced back behind her, she saw that it was Kai who had aimed them at her. Scolding herself to feeling hurt and betrayed by someone who had long since allied himself with people who wanted her dead, she ran in between two buildings to try and distance herself from them.

"Run, Wise One!" they called after her mockingly, as she flung herself into what seemed to have once been a restaurant, its tables and chairs knocked over and its kitchen in ruins. "Run as fast as you can! See where that gets you!"

She sprinted across the restaurant, leaping out of the backdoor in the kitchen and continuing to run in any direction that was away from the Careers' voices and footsteps. She ran into a tiny, cramped house, meaning to run right through and out the backdoor. As she reached the kitchen that led to the backdoor, however, she heard that the Careers, at least, were catching up to her. She had to think fast.

In the corner of the kitchen, Athena saw various nets that seemed to have been used to catch large animals, all in relatively good condition. When she picked one up, she saw tiny needles along the ropes; not sharp enough to kill, but definitely sharp enough to pierce the skin and cause great pain. A plan seemed to spring fully formed from her mind, and she took two of the nets and tied them strategically to the door to the kitchen from the hallway and the door to the kitchen from the sitting room - the only two ways to get to the kitchen besides the backdoor, both of them closed just enough that they could only see a sliver of her through it, and no one would be able to walk through without opening it wider. On an impulse, she grabbed the nets that remained and shoved them haphazardly into her backpack, wincing when she accidentally pricked herself with the needles. She didn't know if she would need them, but she did know what she didn't want the Careers getting their hands on them. With that, she stood still, her hand on the doorknob to the backdoor, ready to run at any moment, and waited.

Sapphire Satin and Lana Ryker were the first ones there, bursting into the house. The others seemed to have fallen behind or gotten lost. They smirked triumphantly. She smiled in a way that she hoped made her seem calm, rather than anxious.

"You're done running now, huh, Four?" Lana said mockingly.

Athena shrugged. "I thought I'd take my chances."

"Well, I thank you for making this easier for us. You've been a great help," Lana smiled, and threw a knife through the crack in the door, straight towards Athena. Athena held up her shield to deflect the knife with ease, the weapon lodging into the golden shield. Lana seemed only slightly disgruntled by the failed attempt to kill her. She nudged Sapphire, hissing, "You go by the sitting room."

Athena held back a laugh with difficulty. Just like she had expected.

Lana and Sapphire advanced on her from different directions. Athena watched them both from her spot in the kitchen, waiting, waiting, waiting, until it finally happened. They seemed to reach their respective doors at the same time, opening the doors wider to walk through, and the nets descended on them both, ensnaring them and pinning them to the floor, while the needles pierced their skin and drew blood. They needles didn't cause more than a prick, but judging from the cries of pain they let out, so many pricks all at once could cause a lot of pain.

"BASTION! KAI! GET IN HERE! GET US OUT OF THIS AND KILL HER!" Sapphire was shrieking, but from the sounds of it, Kai and Bastion were still a good distance away.

"I don't think they'll be here any time soon," Athena commented lightly.

"FUCK OFF!" Sapphire screams. " _BASTION! KAI!_ GET IN HERE  _NOW!_ "

"I thank you for making my escape easier for me," Athena said over their cries, smiling at them. "You were a great help."

"YOU FUCKING  _BITCH_ \- " Lana yelled.

"Oh, yeah, by the way," Athena said, yanked the knife out from her shield, and waved it around, "thanks for the gift!"

"WE'RE GOING TO KILL YOU, FOUR!" Lana said.

"I'll be waiting," Athena sang, opening the door to the sitting room casually and running back out, far, far away from Lana and Sapphire's screams and the immediate danger that was behind her.

 

*

 

Athena did not know exactly how long she was running, but she did know that by the time she stopped, the sun was beginning to set, there was a stitch in her side, she was gasping for breath, her throat somehow felt drier than ever, and she felt like she would collapse at any moment from her injuries. She limped over to a shadowy corner, pulling out a flask from her bag and drinking until the dryness of her throat was tolerable. Afterwards, she stayed in her spot until she had caught her breath and the stitch in her side was bearable. This solved all her problems except for two. There was probably still over an hour until darkness fell completely, but putting so much strain on her injuries brought the pain back in full force. She needed to find shelter and take the time to recover.

She stumbled over to the nearest red-curtained home, a considerably large house with two floors and every single one of its windows shattered. Before she could feel too relaxed within the relative safety of the home, she began searching the entire house to be sure it was free of any immediate dangers. The place seemed deserted until, as she climbed the stairs to the second floor, she heard it. Soft groans of pain, an occasional whimper or sniffle as though someone was crying. They were distinctly human noises, and though the sounds showed only weakness, she tightened her grip on her spear warily as she advanced up the stairs as quietly as she could. She could not assume that this was not a trick; people would resort to much worse if it meant even a chance of survival.

She reached the top landing of the stairs and stayed still for a moment, waiting, listening. The noise was coming from the room directly across from her, the door slightly ajar. She crept forward until she was right in front of the door, peering through the crack.

The noises were coming from a boy likely no older than thirteen, who was sitting on the floor against the wall opposite her, the room utterly vacant except for him. He was shaking all over his short, thin body. His shaggy blond hair fell in his eyes, which were squeezed shut, dried tears staining his face. It took her a moment to identity the boy as Lumen Flux from District Three. She glanced down and saw, at least, what was causing him so much pain; he had been stabbed right between his ribs several hours ago, judging by the state of the wound and how much blood seemed to cover him. He seemed to have tried to staunch the bleeding with his hand, but it did nothing, ultimately, to save him, only covering his arm and clothes in blood. His wound was clearly fatal, but it seemed to be a long process before the wound killed him.

Lumen's eyes were still closed, so that he was not aware of her presence until she stepped further into the room, making her presence known. His eyes opened slowly, soon focusing on her.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Athena said, which was a rather foolish thing to say. The boy was so close to death that nothing could really hurt him now. The boy couldn't even bring himself to look alarmed at her presence.

Lumen Flux said nothing in reply. She wasn't sure if he could still talk or if it was too painful for him now. Athena walked towards him slowly. He made no protest, simply watching her movements. She walked until she was in front of him, before kneeling down so that their faces were level. She reached to touch his hand, still covering the wound. Before she did anything, though, she looked over at him, silently asking for permission. He gave one faint nod, and Athena moved his hand away from the wound to look at it better. She recognized it immediately as a wound from a spear, but whoever had wielded it clearly wasn't very familiar with the weapon, since the wound seemed to have been made almost clumsily. It didn't look like it had been thrown, either, but it was a deep wound. Lumen would've had to let whoever stabbed him get close to him.

She looked back up at Lumen's face. He seemed to have been watching her face the whole time, with an odd sort of light in his eyes. She noticed him holding onto her arm with his now free hand. Trying to ignore the blood what was now staining her clothes even more, she put down her shield and took his arm. He would not try to hurt her. He stood to gain nothing from it.

"Who did this to you?"

And even as she asked it, she realized that the person who had hurt Lumen could still be here, waiting to hurt her next. She hastened to pick up her shield again, about to jump to her feet, but Lumen tightened her grip on her arm. When she looked back at him, he shook his head once weakly, and she understood he meant whoever did this was long gone.

"Day... Day..." he said, but Athena did not understand. Seeing the confusion on her face, Lumen pulled back his jacket to show her the stitchings on the inside, reading:  _Lumen Flux, District 3_. He pointed to the stitchings of his district number, murmuring with more determination, "Day... Ta... Day... Ta..."

Athena understood immediately. Dayta Fuse, Lumen's district partner, had done this to him. Athena could remember fighting Dayta with Rowan and Cara. Sure enough, Dayta had been wielding a spear that she clearly barely knew how to use, which explained the clumsy way that the spear was handled when wounding Lumen. It all made sense, and still, she found herself feeling surprised by the revelation.

 _Her own district partner,_ she thought.  _They might have known each other before all of this..._

But why was she so surprised? Only one person could make it out alive. Even if Dayta hadn't done it, and even if nobody else managed to kill Lumen (which was a big if. Lumen Flux was a rather scrawny boy; even uninjured, he wouldn't be hard to kill, especially if the Career pack got their hands on him), Dayta and Lumen would still have to meet again in the end, and one of them would have had to die. Was there really an real honour in waiting until the end to do the inevitable?

Besides, the fact that killing someone's own district partner was a shocking thing to do probably benefited Dayta more than anything. If she could shock people, she could gain more interest, and interest from rich Capitol socialites was life-saving in the arena, as it led to sponsorships. People outside of Career districts in particular, she knew, had to try much harder to garner enough interest to seal sponsorships.

Still, whatever Dayta Fuse's reasons were to stab her District partner and leave him to die, it mattered little now. Lumen was still bleeding out in front of her, still looking at her with watchful, haunted, startlingly green eyes. Suddenly, he started pointing at her, then himself, directly at his chest, whispering something Athena couldn't make out. After a moment, she thought she could hear, "Help... me... help... me..."

Athena felt her heart sink, heavier than an anchor, as she stared at the boy. He had been like this for hours; he could not possibly thing he could still survive this?

"I - I'm sorry," she said helplessly, shaking her head, "you've lost so much blood, I don't know what there is to do - "

" _No,_ " Lumen said, with a surprising sort of vigor, shaking his head. "No... help... me..."

Lumen pointed at her again, then brought his finger to his throat, making a slashing movement. Understanding flooded through her. Lumen Flux did not think he could survive; in fact, he knew it was only a matter of time before death would come for him. He wanted only for Athena to speed up the process.

Athena found herself shaking her head, saying, "I - I can't - I don't do that anymore - "

 _"I don't do that anymore."_ As though killing was a casual hobby, something to be dropped and picked up again at leisure.

Lumen only tightened his hold on her arm, so that his grip was surprisingly painful, and whispered desperately, "Please... please... it all... hurts... so much... I just... want... it... to be over... I just want... to be free..."

Athena's heart constricted painfully. It felt more wrong to leave him in pain for any longer than it did to kill him. He would not make it to midnight, that much was clear, and the sun was sinking lower and lower into the horizon. It felt more like an act of mercy to kill Lumen now than to leave him suffering needlessly for hours. And then he would be gone, free, no longer the Capitol's to simper over and pity.

Her mind was made up, but still he hesitated just a moment longer.

"Are you sure you don't want a little more time?" said Athena, uncertain. "Just a little longer to reflect..."

"Had... hours... to reflect," moaned the boy. "Just... want... it all... to end... please... please..."

Slowly, Athena nodded once. She was going to use her spear, but thought better of it at the last second and pulled out a knife instead. On an impulse, she moved him gently so that he could see the setting sun, moving to sit behind him, moving the hair out of his eyes gently. She could feel him relax. She tried not to think of the heavy, dreadful feeling in her chest and her stomach.

"Look at the sky," she said softly. "Just look at the sky. Look at the sky, the sun, all the different colours... and think about something you love... something else, someone else that beautiful..."

There was a pause as he seemed to think, before Athena asked, "Do you have something in mind?"

Lumen nodded faintly.

"Tell me about it."

"My friend... Lanni," he said. "She's... she's... nicest... funniest... sweetest person... I ever... met... it's like... I can almost... I can almost see her here... looking at me... smiling at me... she... she has the prettiest smile I've ever seen... I've ever seen..."

Lumen could not continue further than that, because Athena had already driven the knife into his chest, piercing his heart. She had done it slowly, almost subtly while he had been talking about his friend, so that he barely felt it. Lumen went limp against her, the canon going off as he did. She removed the knife and moved out of the way, laying him gently on the floor. His eyes were closed, his clothes were bloodied, and his hair was neat from the way she had stroked it gently to calm him down. Athena could feel the scratchy sensation in her throat that preceded tears, and wiped the from her eyes as they came. She had barely even known this boy. What right did she have to be crying over him?

Athena withdrew another block of wood, a stick, and a length of wood from her backpack. She made another makeshift grave, and using her spear, she carved out the message:

_Lumen Flux, 13_

_District 3_

_I just want to be free._

When she was finished, she propped up the sign against the wall by his head, using another stick of wood to hold it more steadily in its place. Afterwards, she picked Lumen up carefully, placing him over her shoulder, before climbing out the window, scaling the wall until she was on the roof, placing Lumen carefully on the rooftop. She sat down next to his body, bringing her knees to her chest and her arms around her legs, and waited. As she expected, the hovercraft materialized above them within thirty seconds. She closed her eyes and waiting. When the air became still again and she opened her eyes, the body was gone and night had almost completely fallen. With a deep sigh and a sombreness that seemed permanently a part of her, she rose to her feet and climbed back down the wall, back through the window and into the room she had came from, hoping she had not been seen.

 

*

 

The death recap showed no new deaths except for Lumen Flux's. A slow victory. That was what the instructors always said about the Games.

"A slow victory, these Games are," they'd say, at least twice a week, usually even more often when the Reaping was approaching. "It's a slow victory. If you're looking for instant gratification, you're out of your depth here. You've got to be in it for the long haul."

Finnick Odair's victory in his Games had made life difficult for instructors who still wanted to use that saying on students. Every time they tried, there would always be one student who would whisper, "Unless you're Finnick Odair," and that was always enough to trigger a wave of talking, all sorts of students boldly insisting that they would be the Finnick Odair of their Games. There was always a sort of pride to the declaration, due to the knowledge that the victor so legendary came from their District. It was the reason why the instructors didn't mind the interruptions so much.

The memory prompted her to start thinking of her mentors back in the Capitol. Athena knew she was being watched every step of the way, but it was still an odd thought, that people might be watching her even now, as she reapplied the bandages for her wounds and assured that she had tended to the burnt patch of skin on her torso from the lizard attack (though the wound was painful and the dark brown skin on her torso was slightly mangles, Athena was fairly certain that she would be fine, since the acidic substance had only brushed by her skin, rather than made direct contact with it). With each passing moment, she understood less how the Capitol citizens could see this as entertainment. Mags and Finnick watched because it was their duty to think about, but it was odd to think about, how they were monitoring her movements so closely, but could still really do nothing to change her actions, could do nothing to stop her from walking into danger. They could only seal sponsorships and hope they would suffice.

 _They're doing a good job, really_ , Athena thought, thinking back to the gifts from sponsors she had already received.  _If that would be any consolation... I should tell them that if - when I get back. I'll even say it to Finnick, even though he'll probably never let me forget it._

Athena tried to think of how many times they'd seen her walk into or do something stupid or dangerous, with no other option but to watch her do it.

 _They've probably lost count by now,_ Athena thought, and something about the idea was hilarious in her sleep-deprived mind.

She realized that the latest stupid thing she was likely doing was not using this time to rest as much as she could, so she made sure the red curtains were shut and walked over to the sofa, propping up her sprained ankle and swollen wrist. She was still thinking about her mentors, so it was no surprise that she dreamt about them when she managed to drift off to sleep. Athena and Finnick were in an arena (she realized she had no idea whether this was really an arena or not, but the whole world was beginning to feel like one big arena) together, both of them searching desperately for Mags, crying out her name, but Mags did not show herself. Athena did not understand why Mags would not just come out when they both wanted to see her so badly, especially Finnick, who was supposed to be a son to her...

They slowed to a stop. Finnick was turning to her, but it was like he couldn't see her anymore. He tried to find her again, seeming to be looking everywhere but at her face.

"Athena?" Finnick said, surprisingly frantic; she could not imagine him caring about her this much. "Athena, where are you? Where did you go? Athena!"

Athena tried to tell him she was right there, but she couldn't speak, the noises coming out oddly muffled and strangled in her throat. She tried to reach out to him, but suddenly he was too far away, no longer within her reach the way he had seemed to be only moments ago. She was thrown back into consciousness before she could reach him.

For a moment, her disappointment felt like another physical wound. Seeing Finnick again, even in a dream, had been a relief, despite their panicked state as they searched for Mags. It had felt like a reminder that there was more outside this dry, barren arena. And it had almost felt, as foolish as it was, that if she could have reached Finnick, he could have pulled her out of this nightmarish arena and she could have been free from the Games. It was foolish to think that life could ever be so simple, though, even in dreams.

She realized, after a split second, the reason she had been awoken. The back door of the house had been opened, and from the sounds of it, two people were making their way inside slowly. Her heart already pounding a mile a minute, she leapt to her feet, her spear and shield already in her hands. Deciding to forgo any subtlety or pretence, she ran out of the sitting room, intending to run out the front door, but the two tributes were already in the hallway when she made it there.

For a moment, all three people in the hallway were frozen, giving Athena time to stare at them, sizing them up. It was a boy and a girl, both looking to be around her age. The boy was lanky, with skin and eyes like bronze, a sword clutched tightly in his hands; the girl was shorter but stockier, looking reasonably strong, with slightly darker skin but lighter eyes, carrying a dagger in each hand. After a moment of thought, Athena recognized them as Atom Heller from District Five and Willow Till from District Eleven respectively.

She noticed them starting to come out of their stunned stupor, so Athena raised her hands, though she kept clutching onto her spear and shield tightly, saying lightly, "How about we pretend we just never saw each other?"

Atom and Willow looked at each other; for one insane moment, Athena thought they were actually considering the option. But then Atom and Willow raised their weapons, and she realized they intended to fight. Sighing, Athena raised her own spear and shield further.

"Have it your way, then."

Atom and Willow still did not move, though. It was clear they were expecting her to strike first, so she made it a point to stay in her spot and not move a muscle, waiting. Finally, Atom made a move, charging forward with his sword raised, swinging at her wildly. She raised her shield to block the blow, before forcing them to switch positions, pushing against Atom's sword hard enough with her golden shield to send him stumbling back. In the process of switching positions with Atom, she left her back exposed to Willow, who came charging at her with a grunt. Athena waited, then turned and moved out of the way just in time, and Willow, who had already gained too much momentum to stop, nearly went crashing into Atom just as he managed to recover from being knocked off balance.

 _Inexperienced,_ Athena noted.  _That helps._

Willow, recovering quickly, charged at her again, aiming to stab her in the leg, but Athena moved out of the way, whipping her around the head with the end of her spear. The blow wasn't hard enough to kill her, but it was hard enough to send her falling to the ground with a thud, knocking her out. Atom was already running towards her again, aiming his sword at her head. Athena ducked as he aimed to behead her, kicked him in the knee to send him stumbling back, and shoved him roughly with her shield, so that his head smashed against the wall behind him and he collapsed to the floor, still leaning against the wall.

Athena did not wait for either of the tributes to recover. Leaping out of range of Atom's sword, which he was still trying to use to slash violently at her ankles, Athena broke into a run to the front door, flinging it open, and sprinting away, slamming it shut behind her as she ran.

Athena ran for what could have been five minutes or an hour before she finally slowed to a stop, catching her breath as she began to simply walk. She found another house for her to rest in, and after searching the house, collapsed onto the sofa and slept restlessly for as long as she could. The next morning, after having tended to her injuries once more and eaten a tiny breakfast, she was back outside. She had only taken a few steps, however, when she sensed movement from behind her. She whipped around, her spear and shield already raised, ready to defend herself.

For some reason, she had expected it to be Atom Heller and Willow Till again. Instead, she found Marjorie Hopper staring at her from over ten feet away, completely still. Athena couldn't bring herself to be anything other than mildly concerned at this point. Marjorie had had too many openings to kill her and had not taken them; if she hadn't done it by now, she clearly wasn't planning on it any time soon.

Still, Athena wanted answers, so she said, "Are you going to explain to me why? Why are you helping me? What are you supposed to be gaining out of this?"

Marjorie didn't answer.

"Is there a reason for this whole mysterious thing?" Athena said impatiently. She knew she should be grateful Marjorie had chosen to save her rather than kill her so many times, but this kind of kindness and generosity extended so many times in a place like the Games was more unsettled than a murder attempt. "Are you ever going to answer my questions?"

Still, Marjorie was silent.

"You killed your own district partner!" Athena said. "He was going to kill me, and that would've been one lesson person in your way - one less Career in your way, no less. You could've let him do it. But you killed him instead. And you've saved me two other times when you could've easily killed me. Why?"

Again, not even a sound from Marjorie. She simply shuffled a few steps forward - and Athena saw it. A long, brownish snake glinting in the bright, hot sun, slithering its way over to her, close to Marjorie's ankles.

Athena was already pulling out a knife from her pocket, telling Marjorie sharply, "Get out of the way."

Marjorie simply tilted her head at her, confused.

"Get out of the way!" Athena repeated, then threw the knife. Marjorie leapt out of the way, just as the snake had raised itself higher to attack, and the knife severed the snake's head clean off the rest of its body.

Marjorie took only a moment to be surprised, before picking up the knife, wiping the blood off on her cargo pants, and tossing the knife back to her. It landed on the floor by Athena's feet. As Athena bent down to pick it up, Marjorie made an equal sign with her arms, as though to say, "We're even now." In spite of everything, Athena cracked a smile.

"We've got a long way to go before we're even."

Marjorie simply shrugged. Athena looked from the hastily cleaned up knife to Marjorie, and finally felt herself coming to a conclusion a part of her had always known she would have to come to eventually. Even if Athena went her own way again, it seemed inevitable if neither of them died that they would meet again. If Marjorie was going to follow her around and save her life whenever she felt like it, they might as well travel together. Perhaps Athena could protect her in return. And so, ignoring the part of her that already knew this would not end well, she spoke.

"Look," Athena said finally, pocketing the knife again. "If you're really going to keep doing this, we might as well actually stick together instead of you just following me around. So come on."

Marjorie looked so delighted at the suggestion that Athena suddenly felt rather guilty that she didn't ask her earlier, especially after three instances of Marjorie saving her life. She nodded enthusiastically, looking relieved, which confused Athena slightly. Marjorie had been doing surprisingly well throughout the Games, evidently able to protect not only herself, but Athena too when she needed it. Why would an alliance be such a relief to her?

Then again, Athena knew how much it helped simply to not be alone in such an isolating event. Rowan and Cara's company had lifted her spirits greatly when they were together. The loneliness she felt every moment now that they were gone, coupled with her grief and her helplessness, gave her a heaviness in her chest that felt like it was getting harder and harder to continue to carry with her.

"This way," Athena said, jerking her head behind her. With that, she turned right around and began to walk. She could hear her instructors at the academy reminding them over and over to never turn their back on another tribute, but Athena did not feel afraid. If Marjorie was going to kill her, she would have done it by now. Sure enough, after a few moments, she glanced behind her and saw Marjorie following behind her, a certain lightness to her footsteps.

They travelled together for a day, keeping themselves as silent and hidden away as possible, barely speaking as they moved together, until night fell and the sky became dark. Marjorie found for them what clearly used to be a mansion, but was then demolished so that only the bottom floor remained. They searched the house separately, before meeting up again afterwards. The sitting room opened up into the dining room; Athena stood in the sitting room, Marjorie in the dining room. Athena offered Marjorie the sofa, but Marjorie shook her head, pointing at her injuries, as though to say that she needed it more. Athena knew she was probably right, but she still insisted on it, until Marjorie planted herself firmly in her spot, crossed her arms, and looked at Athena impatiently, as though to tell Athena she would settle nothing less than her sleeping on the sofa, and so finally, that was what Athena did. Marjorie, however, settled in the corner farthest from Athena in the dining room. Marjorie played around with a knife idly, but Athena watched Marjorie.

"I don't understand you."

Marjorie looked up at her, her brow furrowed and her head tilted in evident confusion. Athena elaborated.

"You've helped me so many times when you didn't need to," Athena explained, "when you could've killed me or just left me to die, even when it put you in danger. You've agreed to be allies with me. But you also won't speak to me, and I don't think you've ever been closer than ten feet from me."

Marjorie seemed to contemplate this, before simply shrugging as her reply.

"You don't have to talk to me or be close to me," Athena added. "It's just... unexpected."

Marjorie shrugged again. Athena got the distinct impression that she had more to say, but it was difficult for her to express - particularly without words. Athena supposed she could understand that.

"Well, try to sleep," Athena said. "I've got a good angle of all the windows where I'm at, so I can keep watch. I'll wake you up if I get tired," she added, though she knew she wouldn't, when she noticed concern in the way Marjorie stared at her.

Sure enough, the night passed and Athena was still keeping watch by the time the sun was rising. Athena had long since decided to tell herself that it wasn't lying as long as she wasn't tired, and she felt perfectly awake. Athena made to wake Marjorie up, but then stopped halfway across the sitting room, trying to find a way to wake her without getting too close and potentially making her uncomfortable. Finally, Athena limped over to a wall, and began drumming various beats onto the wall until Marjorie finally stirred, opening her eyes slowly and sitting up. She looked around the room, confused, until her eyes landed on Athena, she seemed to remember what had happened yesterday, and grinned. However, when she realized it was day, she frowned. Marjorie pointed at the window, which showed the rising sun, then looked over at Athena in an accusatory fashion, showing clear annoyance at the fact that Athena had not woken her overnight.

"I wasn't tired," Athena said simply, already working on changing her bandages for her injuries.

Marjorie continued to glare at her. Something about her seemed as though this was something she did frequently, but that did not make sense; Marjorie did not know Athena. Marjorie had barely interacted with Athena for longer than few minutes at a time before yesterday. How would she be accustomed to anything with Athena?

Still, Athena not press it. Instead, she pulled out a portion of what was left of her food and tossed it to Marjorie, saying matter-of-factly, "Breakfast."

Marjorie caught it and gave her a grateful nod, apparently temporarily distracted from her annoyance. Marjorie ate with a particular carelessness that Athena knew came from being accustomed with having to make a little go a long way. Considering Marjorie came from one of the poorest districts in Panem, this did not surprise Athena. She didn't comment on that, either.

The sun was high in the sky by the time Athena and Marjorie set out into the open air again. Athena hadn't seen a cloudy day since entering the arena; it was becoming hard to believe that the dry, scorching heat and the blindingly bright sun wasn't all there was in the world, as any shelter from it always seemed painfully temporary.

After a time, Marjorie, standing so far away it likely didn't appear that they were even allies, pointed to a few of her injuries, before feigning confusion. After a moment, Athena realized she was asking how she had gotten her injuries.

"I was in an explosion."

Realisation washed over Marjorie's face - but confusion came quickly. She pointed at Athena, then made an 'X' with her hands, before making a cutting motion against her throat. It took a moment for Athena to translate that as, "You didn't die?"

Athena grinned. "I was lucky. It wasn't a really powerful bomb or anything, and I got a good headstart away from it."

Marjorie nodded, then gave her a thumbs-up, as though to indicate she was glad for her. Athena smiled. Something about Marjorie reminded her of Calypso, though Calypso never needed much of an excuse to chatter away to Athena. She had always been pleased that Calypso liked and trusted her enough for that. It was a part of her life that she missed more with each day.

"You know, there's this way of communicating with just your hands," Athena said suddenly, remembering those signals Mags and Finnick would make towards each other. When Marjorie looked at her in confusion, Athena explained further. "It's a whole language of signals and gestures. I would teach you, but I don't know it very well. It's a shame. It would've made this a lot easier."

Marjorie looked mildly bothered by this, but simply shrugged it off. They continued to walk in what was mostly silence for hours. Marjorie kept looking over at Athena out of the corner of her eye, clearly not realizing that Athena had noticed it. She didn't call her on it, though. She still didn't want to embarrass the girl, and Athena had a sneaking suspicion that Marjorie wouldn't explain why she was doing it, anyway.

Suddenly, Athena came to a stop, holding up a hand to stop Marjorie from advancing any further. A few feet away, she could see the mounds of sand, hiding deadly traps, currently undisturbed and dormant. Athena had been avoiding them at all costs, but it had still been a surprisingly long time since she had last seen them. Athena looked over at Marjorie. She didn't know if she had ever encountered the mans of sound before.

"Uh - we should get away - these things are trouble - " Athena began, but found Marjorie was not listening. The latter was pointing ahead of them. Athena looked over, following where she was pointing, and saw a boy on the other side of the mounds, half-hidden behind a building. He was too far away for Athena to be able to make him out clearly, but she could see the knife that he was throwing, directly at one of the mounds of sand. He was aiming to trigger all the booby traps hidden underneath the sand mounds. As soon as the knife had left his hand and lodged itself into one of the mounds, the boy was turning and running away as fast as he could.

Athena looked back over at Marjorie, "Run!"

Marjorie did not need to be told twice. The two of them turned around and sprinted the way they came as chaos fell behind them. They ran, dodging the dangers of the sand mounds, until the danger at last seemed behind them and they slowed to a stop. Panting, Athena took out one of her flasks of water from her backpack and drank from it, before tossing it to Marjorie. Marjorie stopped clutching a stitch in her side long enough to catch the flask and take a swig, tossing it back to Athena afterwards. Athena was shoving the flask back in her bag, when she heard Marjorie gasp and say, " _NO!_ Look out!"

Athena snapped her head up in time to see the boy who had triggered the sand mounds now standing in front of them on a rooftop, still too far away to make out a face. He looked entirely unscathed by the sand mounds. Athena looked up just in time to see him throw a spear that he'd been holding in his hands, aiming it directly at Athena. Athena hastened to throw up her shield, but Marjorie, in a panicked state, acted on impulse. Marjorie leapt in front of Athena, and before anyone could do anything to reverse it, the spear sank into Marjorie's stomach. Marjorie let out a pained cry, before dropping onto her knees, collapsing onto the ground.

Her heart frozen, Athena looked up at the boy, who was backing away slowly, before turning around and breaking into a run, jumping onto the next rooftop away from her. A temporary but still dangerous rage building up inside of her, Athena took out two of her knives and threw them, one after the other, hitting the boy directly behind both of his knees, causing him to crash onto the edge of the rooftop with a shout of pain. He lost his balance and fell off the roof, only to land painfully onto one of the balconies below. Athena knew the boy would not die, but she did hope it would keep him in pain and incapacitated for a long, long time.

Athena looked back over at Marjorie, and her heart dropped. She had taken out the now bloodied spear, placing it beside her on the sand, and blood was pouring steadily from the wound. Tears were falling down Marjorie's eyes and her lower lip was trembling, but she still extended a shaking hand, just slightly darker than her own, towards Athena.

"Come here... please... please..."

Athena thought with a pang that this was the first time Marjorie had ever spoken directly to her. Though in some part of her mind she knew it was reckless, Athena dropped her own spear before approaching Marjorie, dropping to her knees before her.

"I can - I can fix this," Athena said, a little desperately, digging through her bag for her first aid materials, because Marjorie Hopper had saved her so many times, she couldn't just leave her to die like this, and this was to many people to lose, too many graves to tend to, "I can help you, I can fix this, I just - I just need - "

She didn't even really know what she was saying by that point, but it did not matter, because Marjorie grabbed her hand with a surprising tightness, stopping her from searching her bag any further. Athena looked down at Marjorie and felt her heart sink to the region of her stomach. She looked so weak, almost as though she was fading away in front of her very eyes. She looked much older up close, Athena realized. She had only ever seen her from a distance, and she had always thought she was thirteen at the oldest, close to Calypso's age. Now she saw that Marjorie must have been fifteen, much closer to Athena herself in age than her younger sister... she had always seemed so much younger... someone Athena was supposed to protect but failed to do...

"It's not me... it was never... supposed to be me... n-no chance for me... I just wanted... to help you..."

Athena could not bring herself to ask why anymore. She brought her hand to the wound to cover it, as though that might save her, but the blood was soaking her hands, leaking to the back of her hands and her wrists. Her other hand went to Marjorie's head, stroking her hair gently, trying to relax her in what Athena knew was her last moments. Marjorie's whole body was shaking and it sounded like every breath she took pained her, but she became slightly less tense at Athena's touch.

"I kept distant... because I t-thought... if I got too close... you'd go away again..."

Athena was confused, shaking her head just slightly, though she kept stroking Marjorie's curly, coily, dark hair. She would not have gone anywhere. Where would she have gone? And what did she mean by again?

"I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have gone any - "

"You look so much like her," Marjorie said suddenly, and she reached up to touch her face, as though making sure that she was really there. "Even from up close... I thought maybe... up close I'd see differences... but you have her eyes... and her nose... and her mouth... and her hair," Marjorie reached up further to touch the curls that had fallen loose from Athena's bun, twirling it weakly in her fingers, before moving back down to touch her face. Marjorie's blinks were lasting longer and longer. Athena didn't know what she would have given to stop what she knew was going to happen from happening, to stop those dark, dark eyes from closing forevermore. "She was your age when she died... it's like seeing her again... it's like seeing you, Ch-Charity..."

And finally, finally, Athena understood. Marjorie Hopper had had a sister who had been Reaped in the Games long ago... she had almost made it to the end, until she had been beheaded brutally. And though Athena had been years younger when she watched a seventeen year-old Charity Hopper enter the arena, she could remember quite suddenly people commenting frequently on the resemblance she shared with the girl from District Twelve. Athena remembered it got to the point where her parents could not stand to watch her in the arena, especially her death, for it seemed too much like watching their own daughter having her head cut off... and for Marjorie, it must have felt like having her sister back again, having a second chance to protect her... it must have been too tempting in her grief-stricken state to deny... she remembered Marjorie's interview with Caesar, the way she had vowed to honour her sister... this must have been how. How would have Athena felt, if Calypso had died and she had seen her clone walking around the arena?

 _You always have a sister,_ Athena thought, _even when she's dead._

"I just... wanted to save you, Charity," Marjorie said weakly. "Just wanted to protect you the way you always protected us... the way you always... protected... me. But I... I don't want to leave you alone now. I sh-should have been more careful... s-sisters don't leave... sisters always st-stay... I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Charity..."

And Athena did not have the heart to try and bring Marjorie back to reality, to try and remind her that she was not really Charity Hopper, so all she did was hold her tighter and whisper gently, tears pooling in her eyes and sliding down her face, "It's okay, Marjorie... it's okay... I'll be okay... thanks - thanks to you," she said, her voice shaking, "thanks to you, I'll be okay... nothing's going to hurt either of us now," and though it was terrible and morbid and unfair, it was true. Nothing could hurt Marjorie now that she was only seconds from death, nor could it hurt Charity, who had long since died. "It's okay... you'll see me soon, I promise... I promise... it's okay..."

Marjorie smiled faintly, seeming much more calm now. Guilt rushed through Athena so that she felt sick with it, but Marjorie seemed so much calmer now... Athena could not take that from her, not now, not when she was taking her final breaths...

"Just hope... I did enough... for both of you..." Marjorie said, so quiet now that Athena struggled to hear her. "I just hope... I was enough..."

And before Athena could deduce whether Marjorie was seeing her as herself or her sister or both, before she could assure her that she had always been enough and more, Marjorie Hopper took one last breath and moved no more, still in Athena's arms, still bleeding out.

Wondering if the pain at every loss would ever lessen, Athena bent over her tiny, still body as sobs wracked her body. She shouldn't have been this upset, Athena knew. She had barely known Marjorie, and Marjorie had barely known her, only really seeing her as her only remaining connection to her dead sister. Still, her grief and her guilt at Marjorie's death hit her like a train, unable to help the tears and the sobs that escaped her body.

And still, Athena pulled herself back, because she knew she had no other choice. Still crying silently, she pulled from her backpack a plank of wood, a stick, and a length of rope. Feeling like she had far too much practice with this, she made another makeshift grave. She stumbled over to pick up her spear, before sitting back down by Marjorie's body and carving out the message on her hastily made tomb:

_Marjorie Hopper, 15_

_District 12_

_Sisters don't leave. Sisters always stay._

With the message carved out, Athena stuck the sign firmly into the ground in front of Marjorie's head. She knew the hovercraft would come to pick up her body in a matter of seconds, but still she stayed where she was, her legs crossed, and waited. She wiped the tears gently off Marjorie's face with her thumb, brushed the curly hair out of her face, straightened out her clothes, ignoring the blood that was beginning to dry on her own hands, not wanting to let go yet, until the hovercraft appeared above them and she had no other choice. She closed her eyes, turning her head away as she knew Marjorie's body was being collected. When the air became still and she knew the hovercraft was gone, Athena opened her eyes again. Marjorie's body, she saw with a pang, was gone, but the sign remained. And so did the spear that had killed her.

Athena acted on impulse. She got to her feet, picking up the still bloody spear. Without thinking, she threw it as hard as she could with a grunt. The spear soared through the air, before flying through a window, the glass shattering as it went. The noise felt right to her. For the first time, she did not care if people heard her. Just for a moment, she could not bring herself to be afraid of what might happen to her.

And with the heaviness in her chest feeling greater than ever, Athena turned around and began to walk.


	15. XV

**XV**

 

In the academy, during the Game, the instructors would have everyone watch the Games and then comment on the mistakes the tributes would make; any weak points while fighting, sloppy first-aid, rash decision-making, anything a tribute could possible have done wrong. Athena wondered if people at the academy, the people she knew and became friends with, were doing that to her right now. She wondered how many mistakes they had found already. If they were pointing out mistakes she hadn't even realized she had made. Iris Dunne, she thought, was probably pointing out her flaws with a particular sort of vigor. Iris Dunne was probably tearing her to shreds in the comfort and safety of the academy. Iris Dunne didn't care about Rowan Lindell or Cara Savera or Marjorie Hopper or anyone, nobody did, their lives were a spectacle and so were their deaths and everything in between.

And if they weren't criticizing her from the comfort of the academy, they were probably having a great big laugh at how she had resorted to eating desert creatures for food, as she was doing now that she had officially run out of food. She had killed one that she had seen crawling around in the house she'd been resting in. After identifying that it wasn't poisonous, she made a fire with her matches, and burnt the creature just enough so that she wouldn't have to really taste what she was eating. It still tasted awful, but she had not expected anything good. Her peers at the academy were probably living it up while watching her, comfortable and safe and with as much food as they want, while she had gone from Tessera to rich Capitol food to eating whatever desert creatures she could find that were edible.

Then again, Athena considered, as she finished off her awful meal for the day and washed it down with water, she knew she had surpassed the expectations of many by even making it this far. Iris Dunne probably thought that she would be dead within the first day, and Athena knew she likely was not alone in this sense. Even Athena had doubted her own odds in the arena. But the number of tributes were dwindling down more and more each day. After the two canons that had gone off in the middle of the night last night, she had deduced that only a quarter of the original twenty-four tributes remained, and here Athena was all the same. Even Athena had not thought she would make it this far.

Some people had, though. Hudson, Mags, Finnick, and Tatiana had all seemed convinced that she would be the one to make it out of the arena in one piece. She had never understood why, though, didn't know what it was they thought she had that nobody else did. She still didn't know. But she also supposed it didn't matter. Regardless of how far she had made it, that didn't change that she still had a long way to go before she was crowned victor and she could finally return to her family.  _A slow victory._

And she could not bring herself to feel very proud of herself for making it this far when, the more she thought about it, the more it felt like she won based purely on her own luck. She would have died three times over had it not been for Marjorie, and yet she was dead and Athena remained. Had Athena not looked so much like Charity Hopper, she would be dead. A striking resemblance and a girl full of grief. That was what it had come down to, in the end. The thought did nothing to help her grief over Marjorie's death.

The number of tributes was dwindling, dwindling, dwindling down, and Athena could only think of the tributes lost rather than the ones remaining, particularly Rowan, Cara, and Marjorie. She thought often of Lumen Flux, stabbed and left to die by his own district partner. The more she thought of it, the less surprised she became, and the more she realized she could not fault Dayta Fuse at all for her actions. There could only be one victor. So what if they had been district partners, if they had possibly known each other before their Reaping? This was the Games, and the Games offered no possibility for mercy. Athena knew this, even as she had allied herself with Rowan, Cara, and Marjorie. Dayta Fuse had evidently known this. And it was likely that her own allies had known this, and perhaps if they had lasted longer, they would have acted on this... perhaps Rowan and Cara would have killed her in her sleep one night when they realized the numbers were down and that if she was dead, that was one less Career tribute they had to worry about defeating. Despite her devotion to her sister, perhaps Marjorie Hopper would have put one of her knives through Athena's chest if that was what would have put her one step closer to her family that remained to her and she decided she did have a chance to win after all. Athena realized that none of this mattered either way because they were all dead anyway and she was the only one between them that still remained, and somehow, it made her feel even worse.

Athena let out a deep sigh, rubbing her face blearily. She touched the pendant of the necklace her mother had given her, resting on her chest, reminding herself of why she hadn't given up long ago. Then, she forced herself to stand and walked outside her temporary shelter to face the day.

Athena had come to expect the conditions of the arena, the sweltering heat, the bright sun beating down upon her, the pain and soreness from her slowly healing injuries, the feeling as though someone would jump out at her at any moment and try to kill her; this, however, did not mean that she felt properly  _used_ to it in any way. The sensations followed her everywhere she went, always present, always painful, always overwhelming. It was getting harder and harder to remember that there was anything outside of it. She went over a list of people in her head, outside the arena, untouched by it, that she would return to if she could only make it out of this arena alive, went over the list over and over and over again in her mind... her mother, her father, her sister, Hudson, the other sailors and fishermen, Mags, Finnick... she did not know when she had reached a point with her mentors where she actively wanted to see them, but she was not a place where she wanted to question any motivation to keep going and stay alive despite all of this pain.

After a few hours of watching, Athena found a small home, where two of its walls had been completely blown off. On the wall opposite her, she saw a mirror. For a moment, she almost did not recognize her own reflection. Athena had never considered herself particularly pretty, but she was a sore sight to see now, especially in comparison with her old self. The cuts all around her body had healed and closed completely, but they left nasty-looking scars all over her body. The swelling on her wrist still remained, even if it had gone down greatly over time. The skin where the acidic saliva of the lizard had brushed her was still mangled and burnt and difficult for her to look at. The bruising on her eye was still clearly visible against her dark skin. Her skin was dry all over and there was sand and dust and dried blood all over her clothes and her skin. It was even in her curly hair, which was dried out and frizzy in its bun. In short, she looked almost as awful as she felt. It felt impossible that only weeks ago, she was dressed up in her Reaping dress that her mother and sister had picked out for her, that she had been made pretty enough to have the Capitol fawning over her. It felt like that Athena could not possibly be the Athena she was staring at in this dirty, cracked mirror.

She tore her gaze away from her reflection when a voice boomed, "May I have your attention please!"

Athena whipped around, her spear and shield at the ready, trying to find the source of the noise. After a moment, however, she realized the voice was not coming from someone in the arena; rather, it was coming from the arena itself. An announcement was being made to the tributes, the first time such a thing had happened so far in these Games.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" said the voice of Claudius Templesmith, the legendary announcer for the Games. Hearing his voice for the very first time since the very start of the Games made Athena wonder what his commentary about her had been... if they had been mocking her and doubting her ability to make it out alive the way they had done at her Reaping, or if they had been fawning over her and praising her the way they had as her days spent training had continued. The sound of his voice as she spoke was a more unpleasant reminder of the world outside the arena, a reminder that people were always watching her. "As many of you may have already picked up on, the numbers are decreasing more and more. There are only a few of you left. Take a moment to congratulate yourselves! Pay yourselves on the back."

Athena did not move, her back remaining firmly unpatted. The Capitol certainly loved to take their time... it did not occur to the that for the tributes, any breath they took could be their last.

 _Get to the point,_ Athena thought.

"Now, those of you who remain, we've been watching you all very, very closely," Claudius continued in his big, booming voice. "See, we think you all deserve a little celebration to congratulate you on making it this far in this Games. It's been a tough one for us all, we know."

 _Get to the point,_ Athena thought again, trying not to show any anger at his use of the word ' _us_ ', as if he might understand experiencing this arena at all.

"But then that begged the question; what would we do for this celebration?" Claudius was saying. "What could we do that could show all of you that we and all of Panem are by your side, rooting for you?"

 _Get to the point,_ Athena thought again in exasperation.

"And then, finally, the solution came!"

 _There we go_ , Athena thought.

"As I have said, we've been watching you all very closely, and it appears to us that there is something each of you need to carry you through to the end," Claudius was explaining. "What better way to congratulate you all on your success and keep you motivated than a feast? We noticed that none of you are at the Cornucopia. It has been restocked. There, each of you will find whatever it is you need to keep you going. Help yourselves to whatever you may find there now - but hurry along. You have twelve hours, starting now, to get what it is that you need. May the odds be ever in your favour."

And just like that, the announcement was over. The entire vicinity became still and silent once more. It felt odd, however, having to go back to being a tribute after the announcement, which had served as a reminder that all of this way just for show. Everything about the arena felt fake now, meticulously staged. But Athena knew that the danger was real, and so she would still have to be careful.

Athena thought about the announcement. At that very moment in the Cornucopia, there was something that she supposedly needed desperately. This left Athena to wonder what exactly it was that she needed so desperately. Food, certainly. Besides the desert creatures she had been forcing herself to consume, she hadn't found any food at all. The arena was only so big, and it was starting to feel like the other tributes had already used up everything edible. Even the watering holes she had found with Rowan and Cara were only useful in terms of refilling her flasks, rather than finding any food. All the edible food had been taken; by the time she had revisited, she could take only the scraps that remained. She knew she could last a long time without any food at all, and edible desert creatures were always around if one knew where to look, but she needed all the energy and strength that she could build up for herself, and eating various desert animals that she found came with a certain amount of risk, as it was sometimes rather difficult to be completely certain that a specific species was not poisonous to consume.

There was also first aid supplies, she supposed. She was running low on bandages, but she still needed some for her ankle and her wrist. She was also running low on the creams that helped her with her injuries, particularly her ankle, her wrist, and her still bruised eye. It would doubtlessly help her a lot if she was no longer being restrained by her injuries.

All in all, it was clear to Athena she had a lot to gain from a visit to the Cornucopia, but still, she held back. Though she had only twelve hours to reach the Cornucopia and retrieve what she needed, she still did not think she should go rushing over to the Cornucopia right away. All the other tributes were doubtlessly doing so after the announcement, and all of the remaining tributes in one place at the same time would surely lead to disaster. Athena wanted to avoid another bloodbath. It would of course take a long time to find the Cornucopia again when everything in the arena looked the same, but all the same, she would bide her time before actively trying to search for the Cornucopia.

With that decision made, Athena continued on her way, away from the dirty mirror and her transformed reflection. After a few hours of moving around, however, she had to duck away behind what appeared to be an old shed, as she heard a tribute running nearby. The tribute ran right past the shed without a glance anywhere else, muttering to themselves, moving too fast for Athena to be able to make out who it was. When the tribute ran out of sight, Athena looked all around her to make sure no one else was coming, before emerging from her hiding place.

Athena frowned, trying to figure out why the tribute might have been running. It couldn't have been that they were in a rush to find the Cornucopia; there must have still been another eight or nine hours before their time was up, why would there be any need to run? Athena looked all around, listening hard, but found no sign of an oncoming tribute or some sort of dangerous animal. She was about to give up on trying to figure what put that tribute in such a frantic state, when finally, she found it - or, rather, it found her.

The air around her had previously been completely still, but the wind was starting to pick up, blowing her baggy clothing about wildly and sending anything in the vicinity that wasn't fixed firmly to the ground flying. A sandstorm was brewing rapidly, gaining speed with every moment, increasing more and more in size, until it looked as though a wall of wand was racing forward in her direction.

Cursing loudly, she turned and sprinted as fast as her still-healing legs could carry her. She swung her backpack over her shoulder, ducking as a broken lightbulb flew right at her head, and pulled out her bandages. Moving her fingers as fast as she could without slowing her pace, she wrapped the bandages around her head so that they shielded her mouth and nose from the rising, rapidly swirling sand. She threw her arms over her head to shield her eyes from the effects of the storm, holding her shield up strategically to serve as further protection.

Athena looked around her as best as she could despite the low visibility, searching desperately for a way out. She could always try to find high ground, but the risk was too great. Her visibility had been lowered too much by the sandstorm, and it was approaching too quickly now; if she tried to get high enough, it was likely the storm would reach her before she could reach a level high enough, or some object would come flying at her, sending her crashing to the ground. She would need to find some sort of shelter on the ground that could protect her.

Finally, she saw a row of seven storage units in the distance. Hoping they would be able to act as a sufficient bunker to hide away in, Athena flung herself in the direction of the storage unit. Once there, Athena flung herself into the nearest empty unit that also happened to be empty, the one in the middle. She closed the door of the unit behind her, only able to hope that she would not end up locked inside. She moved to the middle of the empty storage unit and sat down on the concrete, slightly sandy floor. She brought her knees to her chest, burying her head in her knees and wrapping her arms around herself protectively, holding up her golden shield, almost curling into it. Jumping slightly as the sandstorm raged all around her, Athena stayed in her position and waited for the storm to pass.

Athena had no real way of telling time (for all she knew, she might have spent years in this goddamn arena), but it felt like hours went by before the various, deadly sounds of the storm finally faded away into nothing. When it did, Athena lifted her head slowly, lowering her arms and looking around her, as though she could tell whether it was safe for her to go outside again from the inside of the dark storage unit. She took a moment to gather her courage, before bending down to open up the door.

The door did not open at first, and for one, fearful moment, Athena thought she would be trapped here for what remained of her life and this is how it would end for her after all she had endured; but then, Athena pushed more forcefully, and the door at last yielded. Sand poured down to the ground in front of her as soon as she door was opened. Dust particles filled the air, and Athena tried to wave them away with her hand as best as she could, using her other hand to shield her eyes, squinting against the sunlight and the particles alike. Athena stayed in the unit, but looked around at the world outside.

Athena hadn't thought it was possible for the arena to appear even sandier than it was, but it did; the whole place seemed to be covered in a new layer of it now, even buildings. The old, ruined city seemed even more ruined than usual, various bits of debris strewn across the ground. All in all, though, it looked safe - or, at least, as safe as an arena could get. With any apparent threat now gone, Athena took a tentative step forward. When nothing happened, she took another. Then another. Then another. Eventually, Athena was left to come to the conclusion that any immediate danger had been evaded. She removed the bandages that had been protecting her mouth and nose from the storm, shoving them in her pocket, in case the storm returned. Athena looked around her, trying to get a better sense of where she was (it was hard when everything seemed to blend into each other) and figure out her next move - when she saw it.

At first, she thought it was a mirage. Perhaps she simply wasn't seeing right - a result of the desert heat with minimal hydration or nutrition, or it might have been the results of the sandstorm playing tricks on her eyes... she hadn't seen the thing since the beginning of the Games, perhaps she did not know what she was seeing... she shuffled forward, staring at it with narrowed eyes, even pinching herself a few times. It did not go away, and she was forced to acknowledge that what she was seeing was real. There, standing just under fifty feet away, somehow completely untouched by the sandstorm, massive and golden and with a curved tail, was the Cornucopia.

Understanding whooshed over Athena at once. The sandstorm was no accident. It was set off purposely by the Gamemakers. It seemed as though Athena hadn't been the only one who meant to bide their time and wait before searching for the Cornucopia; others had clearly aimed to take that same approach, but too many people biding their time, too many people trying to play it safe, meant too much inaction. So the Gamemakers created the sandstorm and set it upon the tributes, forcing them all into the vicinity of the Cornucopia (and of course they would make sure the golden horn itself remained untouched by the storm).

Athena had intended to wait a little longer before setting out for the Cornucopia, but this forced her to reevaluate her options. If she had to guess, there weren't many hours left until the twelve hours were up, considering the sun was starting to hang lower in the sky. If she left again, she supposed she could always leave subtle traces to lead herself back to the Cornucopia, but the area was doubtlessly crawling with tributes now, and Athena didn't like the idea of leaving potential enemies a path directly to her, even if she made the traces subtle. And she still didn't much like her chances when it came to having to find the Cornucopia again, especially if too much time passed and night fell. This was likely her only chance to get what she needed from the Cornucopia. It was now or never.

Still, she hesitated. It was too reckless to simply go charging over to the Cornucopia. She needed to wait, to scope out the area, to wait for an opening where the danger from the other tributes would be as minimal as it would possible get. She also couldn't see the inside of the Cornucopia from where she was standing, and she wanted to try and find what the Gamemakers decided she desperately needed before she moved. If she knew what she was getting before she was there, she could minimize her time there, which would also minimize the amount of time she was exposed and in immediate danger.

Her mind made, Athena moved carefully along the perimeter of the Cornucopia. She stayed as hidden and as discrete as she could while she moved, keeping her eyes wide open for any nearby tributes, but she found none. Even as she made her slow way around the entire perimeter of the Cornucopia, she found nobody. She knew they were bound to be around, but it seemed as though none of them were ever in the same place at the same time as her. When she finally made her tour around the perimeter of the Cornucopia, she moved so that she was directly across the mouth of the Cornucopia, crouching down to stay hidden, trying to make out what was inside.

It was difficult to see, and she had to squint a little, but finally she saw what looked like rations of food and first aid kits, which covered everything that she really needed. She couldn't see what was inside the first aid kits, though, which meant she would have to spend more time there than she liked, searching through the kits until she found one that had what she needed. It would be dangerous, but she knew she had no other choice if she wanted to get what she needed.

Though she knew more or less what she was getting from the Cornucopia, she still held back, hesitant to move forward. She still couldn't just  _charge_ forward suddenly. Just because she hadn't seen any other tributes while she was scoping out the area didn't mean that they weren't there. In all likelihood, they were hidden away somewhere she could not see them, watching, waiting. Some of them may even be waiting for someone to go running towards the Cornucopia before ambushing them, crossing out another enemy that stood in between them and victory. Athena had only one shot at this; once she exposed herself, she likely wouldn't be able to reverse the effects of her actions. She needed to act wisely, she needed to wait, to find some sort of opening when she knew the coast was clear as it would get and move carefully, subtly, strategically -

Athena's thoughts were interrupted by a noise to her left. She looked around to see Dayta Fuse rush out of a nearby house she had been hiding out in, sprinting at top speed towards the Cornucopia. Athena watched, stunned, as Dayta Fuse reached the Cornucopia and spent just under a minute searching for and grabbing what she needed. She then grabbed a backpack, shoved her new supplies inside, and swung it over her shoulders. With that, Dayta ran back the way she came, her new supplies with her. The whole operation went without the appearance of any interruption or danger.

For a moment, Athena could only stare ahead of her, unable to believe what she had just seen, how  _easy_ it had been. No strategy, no plan, no nothing; just straight in, then straight back out. Athena had to feel a little annoyed privately, both at herself and the world in general; of course it would be that simple when she had been trying to work out a complex plan.

Athena waited another thirty seconds, ensuring that the others would not come rushing out now that Dayta Fuse had made the first move. After it seemed the coast was clear, Athena followed Dayta's lead, leaping to her feet and running as fast as she could towards the Cornucopia. She flung herself into the mouth of the horn, and immediately set to work. She shoved boxes of rations haphazardly into her bag, before moving onto first aid supplies. She looked through the boxes quickly, moving onto the next one as soon as she realized they did not have what she needed. Finally, she found a first aid kit that had more bandages, the creams she had been missing, and more supplies for basic injuries and wounds. She shoved that into her bag, closed it, swung it over her back again, and ran back out the Cornucopia.

Before she could think she was in the clear, Athena heard a horribly familiar voice call out, "Hey, Four!"

Athena glanced back and, just as she had expected, saw Lana Ryker running after her. Cursing under her breath, she increased her pace. If she could just outrun her before the rest of the damn Career pack came closing in on her...

Lana let out a grunt, and Athena glanced back just in time to see a knife lodge into the back of her shin. Letting out a cry of pain, Athena crashed to the floor as she could feel her shin bleeding. Athena could only be grateful that it wasn't on the same leg as her twisted ankle, for the pain would have been unbearable, but now she was injured in both legs as opposed to just one. Still, she forced herself to her feet, removing the knife from her shin and sending it flying at Lana, who managed to deflect it, but it did slow her down, which was all Athena had wanted. Athena kept running at top speed despite the new injury, only hoping that the other Careers were too far away to come to Lana's aid.

Athena was reaching the storage units that had been her shelter during the sandstorm when Lana finally managed to overtake her, tackling her and slamming her against the metal wall of one of the storage units, her spear and shield flying out of her hands. Athena let out a cry of pain as he back and head (still sensitive from the blow it had taken in the explosion) slammed into the cold, hard wall. She kneed Lana as hard as she could, pushing her off of her when her grip on her lessened, and jumped to her feet. Just as she did, however, Lana recovered, leaping to her feet and sending a punch directly at Athena's head as she went, a blow Athena only just managed to duck. It sent her off balance, however, which Lana took full advantage of, pushing her roughly so that soon, Athena was sprawled on the floor again. Lana made to stomp on her stomach with a booted foot, but Athena rolled out of the way just in time, rising to her feet and moving behind Lana, kicking her in the back of her knees, sending her falling to the floor with a yelp.

Athena made to grab her spear and shield again. As she ran past, however, Lana gripped onto the shin she had stabbed, the wound still bleeding, squeezing it as tightly as she could, so that Athena had to bite down on her lip to stop herself from screaming in pain. Before Athena could free herself from Lana's grasp, the latter yanked onto her leg as hard as she could, sending Athena crashing to the ground all over again. Lana climbed on top of her, punching her in the face, once, twice, but Athena managed to block the third blow. She punched her right back, then again, before flipping them around. Athena punched her again in the face, before punching her in the chest, winding her. Athena climbed off of her, leaping to her feet and moving towards her spear and shield again, but Lana was persistent. She rose to her feet and began the attack anew.

Lana kicked her, but Athena dodged it, jumping out of the way. Lana lunged at her, aiming for her throat, but Athena deflected it, grabbing Lana's wrists and twisting them until she was yelling in pain. She then shoved her roughly, sending her off balance. Lana managed to regain her balance, though, and aimed another punch at her head. Athena ducked, and while she was down, Lana pulled her under her arm and brought her into a chokehold. Struggling to breathe, Athena forced them backwards until Lana's back slammed against the metal wall of the storage unit. She elbowed Lana in the chin three times in a row, giving her no time to recover. While Lana was weakened and her grip on her had lessened, Athena forced them forward again and judo flipped her, grateful that Lana did not weigh very much.

Athena kicked Lana in the side while she was on the ground, growling, "Stay the hell  _away_."

She ran over to her spear and shield, at last able to pick up her weapons, but before she could go anywhere, Lana was on her feet again. At the sight of Athena carrying her weapons again, Lana looked unperturbed. If anything, she looked positively delighted.

"Oh, is this how we're doing this? Good," she smirked maliciously, pulling out two daggers, one in each hand. She advanced on her slowly, saying with faux innocence, "You said you were waiting for me to come kill you. And now here I am."

With that, Lana lunged at her, slashing at her with one of her daggers. Athena deflected it with her shield, using it to shove Lana backwards. Lana regained her balance quickly, however, and aimed for her head when she slashed at Athena again. Athena dodged, then tried to whip her around the head with the end of her spear. Lana ducked, and Athena kicked her in the chest, whipping her in the shoulder blades while she was winded. Lana fell to the sandy ground with a grunt; while she was on the ground, she tried to hook her foot around Athena's ankle and trip her, but Athena jumped out of the way.

Athena could see frustration on Lana's face as she jumped to her feet again; she had expected it to be much easier to take Athena down. In spite of everything, Athena had to feel pleased that she at least wasn't making things easy for Lana Ryker. Still, Lana had a determined glint in her eyes that stopped her from feeling  _too_ pleased. Besides, Athena could not understand why the other Careers had not come to Lana's aid already. She could not relax too much when she knew there was a possibility she could become outnumbered at any moment. If she could just get out of there fast...

"You know, Four, ever since we last met, I noticed something about you," Lana was saying, advancing towards her once more. "You have a limp... right...  _here!_ "

She punctuated the last word by kicking her right in her sprained ankle. Athena cried out as the pain momentarily overwhelmed her, and was sent falling to the sandy ground once more, her spear and shield falling out of her hands. Smirking triumphantly, Lana climbed on top of her again, punching her twice, before using her daggers to cut her lightly, shallowly along her arms. A painful, malicious warning of what Lana intended to do.

Athena reached forward and elbowed her in the face. Lana grabbed at her face, groaning, and Athena snatched one of her daggers out of her hand. Before Lana could recover and grab it back, Athena stuck the dagger in Lana's shoulder blade, lodging it in to the hilt. By the time Lana had removed the knife from her back, Athena had managed to regain the upper hand, flipping them over again. Grabbing the front of Lana's cargo jacket with her fists, Athena shook her roughly, so that the back of her head slammed painfully into the metal wall. Athena punched Lana over and over and over, until Lana's mouth and Athena's knuckles alike started bleeding. When Athena pulled back her fist to throw another punch, Lana slashed at her wildly with a dagger, but Athena deflected it, seizing the dagger by the blade and tossing it to the side, hissing in pain as the blade cut the skin on the palm of her hand. Lana used the other dagger, stabbing her in the palm of her hand, right where the other blade had dug into her skin. Athena clutched onto her palm, crying out from the pain, and Lana jumped on her opportunity. She pushed Athena off of her with all her might, and then straddled her, pinning her hands above her head with one hand and bringing the dagger to Athena's throat with the other. Athena struggled desperately, trying to free herself, but it was no use; Lana's grip on her was vice-like on her wrists, and every time Athena shifted just slightly, Lana pressed the knife tighter against her throat.

"There we go," said Lana, triumph written all over her face as she looked down at Athena. "It's about damn time. You last a lot longer than any of us thought you would, I'll give you that. But it was always going to come to an end. Even you know that, don't you, Four?"

Athena said nothing, glowering up at Lana silently. All she could think, however, was that she was a bag of blood and bones and muscles, held together by skin too fragile for a world so violent, and one swipe from Lana's knife was all it took to tear it apart.

"But I have to say... you are disappointing," Lana continued, her eyes alight with malice. "Even these brats who had no idea what they were doing put on a better show than you. These are people from shitholes for districts and with mentors who were basically preparing them for death, but you... you had legends guiding you! Mentors as great as yours, and this is the result," Lana said, disappointment clear in her voice. "Mags Flanagan mentored almost every victor that came from your district, and you're  _still_ this useless. If I was Finnick Odair, I'd be ashamed."

Athena started struggling again with a grunt, glowering up at Lana. For some reason, it stung more than Athena thought it would to have her mentors be used against her in such a way. There's a glint in Lana's eyes at Athena's reaction, looking delighted at the realization that she was getting under her skin.

"Oh, you don't like hearing that?" Lana sneered. "Well, it's true. Disappointing... that's what you are. I'd be ashamed if I was from District Four... going from Finnick Odair to  _you_. You were only ever good at the optics... the sob stories... oh, what you said about your family was so touching. Having to apply for Tesserae and all... and your parents and you sister... her name was Calypso, right?"

"Keep them out of your  _fucking_ mouth!" Athena said, reacting immediately, thrashing so violently against Lana's grip that she almost managed to free herself. But then Lana was redoubling her grip, pressing her knife so tightly against Athena's throat that she drew a bead of blood, the dark red drop sliding down the dark brown skin of her throat.

"Might as well face it, Four; your sister is going to watch you die," Lana snarled tauntingly, smiling at the fury on Athena's face. "We told you, you made the wrong choice by picking weak people you felt sorry for over us. And now they're dead and I'm still here. We told you it was a dead girl's mistake. It doesn't matter now, though, because I'm going to kill you," Lana continued conversationally, pressing the knife harder against her throat, drawing more blood. "Just like we killed your little friends. The last one was that girl... what was her name again? Marjorie?"

Athena's eyes widened, her heart dropping, then pounding even more wildly than before. "That - that was  _you_ \- ?"

"More specifically, it was Bastion," Lana said, lips curling into a smirk at her reaction. "And we saw what you did to him in return - you're going to wish you didn't do that. We killed Marjorie... the little girl from Six, Cara, is dead... we killed your little boyfriend from District Seven, Rowan.. and now... you're next in line - "

Lana's next words were cut off by a yelp. She was lifted from on top of Athena and thrown against the wall of the storage unit. Athena watched, stunned, as Amber Cedara of District Seven held Lana against the wall by her throat, her axe gripped tightly in her hand.

"What was that?" Amber snarled, getting right in Lana's face, bright blue eyes flashing with rage. "What the fuck did you say about Rowan?"

"Get off me - get the fuck off of me!" Lana said, but Amber's grip on her was like iron, overgrown fingernails digging into her throat.

Amber shook her head violently, hissing, "Answer me! What were you saying about Rowan?"

"I'll kill you," Lana choked out. "I swear I will - "

"Yeah? Well, you're going to answer me first!" Amber growled. "You had so damn much to say about Rowan. Say it to my fucking face, then!"

Though unable to look away from the scene unfolding in front of her, Athena remembered she could move. As quickly yet subtly as she could, she crawled backward, feeling around wildly for her spear and shield. When she finally found them, she wrapped her hands around them, holding them tightly. She did not stand up yet, still on the sandy ground, watching the two tributes in front of her.

"What's the matter, Two? You were so confident a minute ago," Amber said viciously. "Where did all that confidence go? What, do you need a little  _encouragement?_ "

Amber punctuated the last word by digging her axe into Lana's side. Lana cried out in pain, but it eventually turned to cries of, "KAI! KAI! KAI,  _HELP!_ HELP ME!" Athena watched, stunned, but found herself wondering why Lana was only calling Kai for help and not the rest of the Career pack again.

Amber shook her head again roughly to silence her, tightening her grip on her throat even more, saying, "You people like to act like you're top shit in a group, but get one of you alone and watch how fucking fast you break. Now are you going to say what you said about Rowan to my face or not?"

"I didn't - I didn't say anything - " Lana struggled to get out.

"I heard you!" Amber snarled. "I heard that shit, don't deny it - "

"I didn't - I didn't - I swear - "

"Are you calling me a liar?" Amber got even closer to Lana as she said the words threateningly. "Are you - ?"

"I just said he's dead - that's all - you know he is - he's dead - "

"And you killed him!" Amber cut her off. "That's what you said, isn't it?"

"Wasn't me - wasn't me - it was Nolan - but he's dead, too -  _she_ killed him - "

Lana, wild-eyed, glanced over at Athena, still watching from the ground. It was clear she meant to take the head off herself, but it did not work. Amber didn't so much as glance at Athena, her eyes still trained on Lana, her dark, choppy hair falling over her face.

"You didn't say that," said Amber. "You said 'we,' not 'he.' You included yourself in it. And since you wanted to take the credit so damn bad, I'll make sure you get what you deserve."

With that, Amber threw Lana roughly so that the latter fell to her knees. Amber raised her axe, and before anyone could do anything, she buried it into Lana's neck. To Athena's horror and surprise, Amber did not slow or stop the action, severing Lana Ryker's head clean off her neck. Lana's head landed on the sand, a foot or so away from the rest of her body, with a soft, unpleasant noise, just as the canon went off from above. Blood had flown everywhere, some of it landing a foot away from Athena, and as she stared in horror, she could hear Alayne's voice, informing her of how beheadings were,  _"always the most brutal."_

For the first time, Amber's gaze landed on her, staring at her through the dark circles around her eyes. Athena scrambed to her feet, clutching her spear and shield tightly in her hands, unsure if Amber intended to take her down next. Amber simply looked back down at Lana's now headless body, her facial expression blank.

"I wish that made me feel any better," she said blankly. "I wish that made any fucking difference at all. But I guess that's just the Game, isn't it?"

Athena just stared at her. She did not look down at Lana's body or head. She did not think she could bear to do it.

"Don't look like that, it's not like I'm coming after you now," Amber said distractedly, surprising her' why wouldn't she? Taking down two Careers had to be something very much in her interest. "I figure I owe you one after everything."

When Athena just stared at her blankly, Amber elaborated.

"You warned me about Rowan. You made sure I knew, even when you didn't have to. The warning... it made it easier when I saw him on the death recap. And you were allies with him - you were friends, too, from the looks of it. I saw the sign you made for him and that Cara girl. I knew Rowan before the Games... I talked to him in school. If you knew Rowan at all you know that he deserved... so much better than  _this_."

Amber paused, looking at her expectantly. Athena could only nod faintly in agreement, because she knew it to be true. She had thought about it often.

"I guess the Games made me forget. I didn't want to be allies with him because I kept thinking he was weak. That he'd hold me back. I regretted it right away, and I still do. But you didn't forget. You looked after him. You protected him as much as you could. That's more than I can say for myself." Amber was saying, and it was odd, because shame was the last thing Athena had been expecting to see on Amber Cedara's face. "You saw something in him worth helping, something worth protecting... even when I didn't. Besides, you saved my life when you didn't have to. Those Tracker Jacker stings would have killed me if you hadn't given me that medicine. So for that... and for Rowan... I'll let you go."

When Athena still did not move, Amber said roughly, " _Go!_ Before I change my mind!"

That finally managed to get Athena moving again, so she turned and made to run away, but Amber called her back once more.

"Hey, Four!"

Athena turned back to look at her.

"This is the first and last time I do something like this," Amber said. "Next time I see you... I won't hold back."

Athena nodded once in understanding. Then she turned and ran away as fast as her injured legs could carry her, still reeling from what she had just witnessed. Athena ran and ran, until something - two somethings - whizzed past her ear, one after the other, as she moved. Athena came to an abrupt halt, raising her spear and shield rapidly, looking around wildly. It was two arrows that had been aimed at her, having only narrowly missed and lodged into the building behind her. Her heart beating rapidly, she tried to find the person who had fired the arrows. When she finally found them, her heart somehow managed to life and fill itself with dread all at once.

Kai was standing there, about fifteen feet away. He looked in relatively good shape, with only minor injuries that Athena could see.

 _At least one of us has been making out alright,_ Athena thought.

He was holding his bow in his hands, more arrows slung over his back. He lowered it immediately, however, when he realized at whom he had just been firing. Athena lowered her spear, but her shield remained where it was. He took a few steps toward her, but then stopped suddenly, looking uncertain.

"Athena."

Athena just stared at him, wary, before saying, "Kai."

When Kai seemed to think Athena would not attack him or run away, he took a few more steps forward, saying, "I - I didn't realize that was you. I wouldn't have shot those arrows if I knew. It's - it's nice to see you. Really nice."

"You, too," Athena said, though she wasn't sure if she meant it or not. All she could think was that this might be a trap, that he might be trying to lure her into a false sense of security, that the other Careers might be hiding out in the shadows, only to show themselves when she appeared to be at her most vulnerable...

"I heard a canon earlier," he said. "I got worried it was - I - whenever I hear a canon, until I see the death recap, I always worry that it was you - "

"Don't bullshit me, Kai," Athena said bluntly, because he had made the choice to ally himself with the people who wanted to kill her, had made that choice over and over; there was no way he truly cared that much - or at all - about Athena, no way he worried about her the very same way Athena always did about him whenever she heard a canon, no way at all. "If you and the rest of the goddamn Careers are going to try to kill me, just get it over with."

"Oh," Kai said, looking genuinely surprised at what she had said. "Oh, no - no, no, no - you don't understand. The rest of the Careers aren't with me anymore."

"Oh, really?" Athena said, disbelief all over her face and voice. "And how do I know that they're not hiding away right now, waiting to ambush me while you distract me?"

"That's not their style and you know it," Kai said matter-of-factly, which Athena had to admit was true. "When I said they weren't with me, I didn't mean they just weren't with  _me_. They're not with anyone. They died - well, Sapphire and Bastion did. Last night. Those were the two canons you probably heard overnight. Remember that messed-up lizard attack? They got burned during that. We all did, but they wouldn't take care of their injuries the right way. Lana tried to help them, but they just... wouldn't listen. They kept on saying that it would just slow them down and that they didn't need it. And it killed them."

Athena stared at him, stunned. The Careers were usually the last ones left; but with Lana's death, that left only Athena and Kai... though, it did explain why Lana called out only for Kai to help her and not any of the others. And it was not surprising that their arrogance, their belief that they did not  _need_ proper medicine and treatment for their injuries, was ultimately what killed them.

"Lana's still alive," Kai continued, "but I don't know where she went, I lost her in the sandstorm - "

"She's dead," Athena said, and she hadn't meant for it to sound so abrupt, so cold. "I saw her die. She saw me at the Cornucopia and tried to kill me - almost did - but then Amber - the girl from District Seven - came in and killed her."

"Really?" Kai said, and though he didn't say it explicitly, Athena knew he was surprised that someone outside the Career districts managed to kill a Career tribute. Before she could call him on it, he asked, "Why did she kill Lana and not you?"

"It's a long story."

"Ah," Kai said in understanding. "Well, if she's dead, too... then I guess that's how you know there aren't any of them waiting to attack you. It's just me."

Athena still said nothing. He had moved closer to her while they had been talking, and soon he was standing less than a foot away from her.

"What happened to you?" Kai said, and he reached forward to touch a drop of blood that was sliding down her neck where Lana had cut her, wiping it idly and examining the blood on his finger as though he needed to make sure that it was real. He looked back up at her. "I mean, I didn't want to say anything - but you kinda look a mess. And I noticed you have a limp - two limps, now, actually."

"Another long story," Athena said, then rethought it. "Actually, not that long of a story. I got caught in an explosion a couple days back - that messed me up pretty bad, as you can tell. That's how I got this - " she pointed to her still bruised eye - "and this - " she pointed to her swollen wrist - "and a whole bunch of cuts and wounds all over my body, like right here - " she pointed to the back of her head - "and that's how I got one of two limps - " she pointed to her sprained ankle. "Anything else - including the other limp - I got from my fight with Lana or during that messed-up lizard attack," she indicated the burn on her torso.

"Right," Kai said, nodding once, then looked at her in disbelief. "Wait, you got caught in an explosion? And you didn't die?"

Athena shrugged. "Got lucky."

Kai nodded again, but he still looked a little stunned. Silence passed between them, until Kai finally spoke.

"Well," he said slowly. "Nolan's been dead for a while. Sapphire and Bastion are gone, too. And now Lana. There is no Career pack anymore. There's just us. And there aren't a lot of people left, so I think it's safe to say that we were meant to be in this together. It's you and me, Maris. It was always meant to be this way."

Athena had no idea whether Kai actually meant any of what he said or if he was simply amping it up for the sake of Capitol citizens watching, hoping to catch enough of their interest to have sponsors send gifts his way. Before she could decide, however, Kai extended a hand towards her.

"Together?"

Athena stared from Kai's face to his outstretched hand for a few long, silent moments, her mind going a mile a minute. She felt filled with uncertainty. This was temporary. It would come to an end, and considering how little tributes remained, it would have to end soon. There was no way for it to end well for the both of them. And Kai had chosen to ally himself with the Careers over her when it was clear the Careers wanted her dead; he had no trouble standing against her then, it was unlikely he would have much trouble turning against her later on. And she did not know how she would be able to escape the alliance unscathed without killing him...

Still, alliances were not meant to last. They were meant to help carry a tribute through to the very end. That was all. She knew that. She just had to learn to remember it. Kai was a very valuable ally to have in the arena. And she had missed having Kai around, despite how little she liked having to admit it to herself, missed having the human connection to her home. Besides, if she refused him now, it was likely it would end with Kai wanting to fight her right then and there, and it was likely he would mean for it to be a fight to the death. Amber Cedara would not save her a second time. If they were allies for a time, however, no matter how short, it would give her more of an opportunity to figure out some sort of solution that would work. And she knew, deep down, that Kai was likely right. It really did feel as though, in the end, Athena had always meant to finish these Games with Kai, no matter how it all ended. It was always meant to be the two of them.

And so Athena reached out and took his hand, trying to be confident with her decision.

"Together."

Relief was all over Kai's face, though he tried to hide it and keep his face neutral, as they shook hands. It was such a childlike sort of relief that Athena was suddenly reminded that Kai was a year younger than her. When they let go, Kai walked over to the building behind her, the arrows still lodged into the wall. He took them out of the wall and ran his finger along the tips of the arrows, looking thoughtful.

"I'll need to sharpen them," he said distractedly. "I can do that once we find shelter - it'll be dark soon."

He was right. The sun was setting further and further into the sky. The twelve hour feast at the Cornucopia would be over soon, if it was not already. They set off together, walking side by side, reunited at last, walking towards what would soon be the end.


	16. XVI

**XVI**

 

Athena watched Kai. When they were walking in semi-silence, trying to find shelter; when they had finished searching the abandoned home, relatively in tact, and settled into the spacious sitting room; even as she tended to her injuries, both old and new; and she watched him now, as he used a stone to sharpen the tips of his arrows, before moving onto his knives. They both sat against walls opposite each other. She made her staring as subtle as she could. She was trying to learn how to predict his actions; she had no idea how to read Kai, his actions had always seemed unpredictable to her, even during training. She could not afford to have an unpredictable ally, especially not at this point in the Games. If she could just learn how to read him, then she would be able to sense when he was about to turn on her, and she could find some sort of way out of the situation without having to kill him herself...

"You want to use this?" Kai said, when he was finally done sharpening all of his arrows and his knives, holding up the stone. Athena had switched to looking busy adjusting the straps of her backpack just in time, then looked back up at the sound of his voice, as though she hadn't been paying attention before. "You know, for that?" he elaborated, gesturing at her spear.

Athena looked down at her spear, running a finger along the blade. She realized that, though it was still sharp, it had dulled considerably over time, and it could probably benefit from being sharpened. Athena held out her hand, and Kai tossed the stone at her. She caught it in her hand, murmured her thanks to him, and set to work on sharpening the blade of her spear. She still watched Kai out of the corner of her eye, trying to set his behaviours and his mannerisms to memory.

"So, I told you about how the arena's been treating me; what about you?" Athena said suddenly, mostly because she did want to know, but also partly because it gave her an actual excuse to study him.

Kai shrugged, looking slightly surprised at having been asked. "I've had an easier run of it than you. I mean, I wasn't in any explosions or anything. Didn't get stung by any Tracker Jackers. I met with the Careers pretty much the morning after we got separated. Most of what we did was go hunting for other tributes."

"Was it as glamorous as everyone says it is?" Athena said, trying to keep her sarcasm minimal.

Kai definitely sensed the sarcasm, but did not comment on it. "Not really. I didn't get much sleep. You know, they're the best tributes in the arena objectively, but you never know what they're going to do. They all act on impulse. They might see you sleeping and decide to kill you right then and there. I saw it happen. Everyone was awake except Sapphire, and they all spent fifteen minutes debating whether they should just kill her because she had been bothering them. The only reason they didn't in the end was because I told them we should keep her alive for a little longer. After something like that, you can't really bring yourself to sleep a lot."

Athena refrained from asking Kai what he had expected from them, but only said, "Well, if you're tired, feel free to get some rest. I'll take watch."

"No, I'm fine, I'm sure you need - "

"I've gotten tons of sleep," Athena lied, speaking shortly. "I'll take watch."

Kai stared at her thoughtfully for a moment, before nodding once. "Fine. But I'm not tired yet."

"Then don't sleep," Athena shrugged. "Makes no difference to me."

For a moment, there was silence. Kai was staring at Athena now. She searched for a change in subject; as hypocritical as it likely was, Athena did not like the idea of being examined the way she was examining him. Before she could find one, he spoke.

"I'm sorry about your allies - "

"You don't have to pretend you care, Kai - " Athena began impatiently.

"No, Athena, I mean it," Kai insisted seriously. "I'm sorry. I'm not going to say I wish they were still alive, but... I wish things had been easier for you, that's all. And I'm sure you keep thinking about whether or not I had a hand in their deaths."

Athena said nothing, because he was right. Kai was quick to elaborate.

"I didn't," he said. "I always held back. I didn't want you to get hurt, too. I couldn't stop them from doing it, though."

It should have been a relief to hear, but Athena was not sure it made any difference at all. They were still dead. Besides, even if Kai had had a hand in the deaths of Rowan, Cara, and Marjorie, Athena knew she couldn't really resent him for it. This was how the Games worked. She couldn't blame  _him_ for it.

She finished sharpening the blade of her spear and moved onto her knives, saying, "It doesn't matter."

"But - Athena - " Kai began,

"It doesn't matter," Athena cut across him firmly. "It's not like I could have blamed you for anything if you did have a hand in it. It's the Hunger Games, this is how it works. You're trying to survive, I can't blame you for it."

Kai stared at her for a moment, before looking away and murmuring, "I just wanted you to know."

"And now I do," Athena said flatly, looking down at the knife she was sharpening. She looked up at Kai again and her tone softened as she said, "Thank you, in any case. I know you mean well."

He relaxed a little more at this addition, nodding and smiling faintly at her as he leaned back against the wall. Another long silence. Athena kept working on sharpening her knives. Kai played around with one of his, throwing it in the air and seeing how many flips he could make it do in midair. Athena was still looking at him from the corner of her eyes, and found quite suddenly that there was a question burning in her mind, begging to be asked.

"Can I ask you something?" Athena said suddenly, before she could talk herself out of it.

Kai blinked, looking back down at her and catching the knife easily despite his distracted state. "Um - okay."

"Did you like them?" she said. "The Careers, I mean? Did you like them? Did you care about them at all? I just mean... you sounded so... indifferent when you were talking about how they were dead. It was like it didn't bother you."

"You don't get it, Athena," Kai said, shaking his head. "This isn't like any of your alliances. Nobody there really liked or cared about each other at all and that was always clear. Like I said, they talked about killing Sapphire in her sleep just because she'd been bothering them. When you stood up for Rowan and Cara even thought it meant becoming enemies with the rest of the Career pack... none of us would have ever done something like that for someone else in the group, let alone the group as a whole. They wouldn't have even done it for their district partners or anything. You were actually friends with your allies. It was never like that with us. We were together because we knew we were some of the best tributes in the arena and that if we came together we'd be the most deadly, most untouchable group. That's it. That's the only thing that bonded us together. And we would've turned on each other the moment it was convenient. It's hard to be very upset about getting out of an alliance like that, no matter how it ended."

Though she had not thought about it like that, she did not find herself surprised by Kai's words. It was one of the reasons she hadn't wanted to ally herself with the Careers in the first place, despite the danger that came with being enemies of the Careers.

Before anyone could say anything else, the national anthem of Panem began to play, signalling that it was time for the death recap. Athena and Kai exchanged looks, before getting to their feet and walking over to the floor window to watch the death recap. There were only three deaths in total that day; Bastion Silver, Sapphire Satin, and Lana Ryker.

"That settles it, then," Kai whispered, as though there had been some chance that they were secretly alive after all. "It's just us."

"Out of the Careers, anyway," Athena said, as the death recap finished and the two of them sat back in their original places.

Kai said nothing in response. He seemed to be concentrating on something else. His brow was furrowed, and he was holding up two fingers as though counting something.

When he appeared to be finished, he looked back at Athena and said, with full confidence, "There are four people left. Besides us, I mean. There are four people left in the Games."

She had to think about it for a moment herself, but she knew that he was likely right. There were so few of them left. The thought did not relax her at all; if anything, she felt more tense than ever. This part of the Games was always the most deadly; scared, tired, hungry, desperate children who were so close to victory they could taste it, who would stop as absolutely nothing to reach it. If anything, this would be one of the hardest parts of the Games for Athena, and considering how rough her time in the arena had been thus far, the thought filled her with dread.

"A slow victory," was all she said in reply, and just as she did, she remembered something important: the signs.

She took off her backpack and placed it in her lap, opening it up and pulling out three planks of wood, three sticks, and more rope. Immediately, she set to work on making three new signs. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Kai staring at her in confusion.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Making more signs," she replied while she worked. At the confused look her gave her, she said, "I told you about the signs, didn't I?"

Because she had. While they had been moving together during the day, she had told him of her grudging alliance turned friendship with Rowan and Cara, of their death, and of her resolve to put up signs in honour of the lives lost here.

"Well, yeah," Kai replied, still frowning, "but I didn't think you would... I thought it was... I didn't think you'd made signs for  _them_ \- "

"Why, because I like Rowan and Cara and not the other Careers?" she said. Kai's lack of response was confirmation enough for her. "It's not about that. It's not about how I feel or they feel or anything like that. I just want them to be more than - more than  _this_. More than some name that people will forget in a few weeks. That's all. It has nothing to do with who I like."

Kai said nothing to that, but Athena knew he was still staring at her, an unreadable expression on his face. She said nothing of it, continuing to work on making the three signs. When she was finished, she grabbed her newly sharpened spear and carved out the messages. The first one read:

_Sapphire Satin, 14_

_District 1_

_I just want everyone to see me the way I am._

 

The second one said:

_Bastion Silver, 18_

_District 1_

_I'll do anything as long as I don't end up as somebody else's victim._

 

The third and final one read:

_Lana Ryker, 17_

_District 2_

_Just know that, no matter what happens in there, I'm making my mark on history._

 

Each of the quotations had been taken from their interviews with Caesar. She had hardly known any of them, and most of what they had said to her personally had been taunts or threats; nothing she could really use for these makeshift graves. That left only their interviews.

Sapphire's had been her answer when Caesar asked what she most wanted out of the experience. Athena had to feel bad for her, since she did not think anyone really saw her as she was. Judging from her interview, people saw her not as the fourteen year-old girl that she was, but some sort of sex object, something to be gawked at by others. Or as something to bring more entertainment into the arena. That was all. Nothing else. Lana's quotation had been in response to the same question.

 _Well, there you go, Lana,_ Athena thought, staring at her finished sign.  _Here's your mark on history._

Bastion's quotation was a response to Caesar asking him what he wanted to happen least in the Games. And when she thought about it, Bastion Silver had gotten what he wanted. He was not someone else's victim. He was the victim only of his own arrogance and reckless decisions.

Athena knew where Lana had died, but she doubted she'd be able to find it again, especially in the dark. Besides, she had no idea at all where Sapphire and Bastion had died. She would have to place the signs somewhere in the house. Athena tried to think of a place to put them. Finally, she saw a bookshelf at the other end of the sitting room and got to her feet, walking over to the bookshelf and placing the signs in the middle of the top shelf. From there, the window would shin light from outside right onto the makeshift tombs.

As satisfied as she would get, Athena sat back down in her original place and went back to sharpening her knives. Kai hadn't moved much, having been watching her the whole time. She had no idea what he thought of her resolve to put up signs in honour of the fallen tributes. She was about to ask when he let out a long yawn.

Athena raised her eyebrows and said, "You ready to get some rest yet?"

"I'm not that tired," he insisted, but the point was diminished greatly by the fact that he was saying it through another yawn.

"I'll bet," Athena said drily. "I know it's been a while, but this isn't how you usually look when you're not tired."

"Things change?" he suggested halfheartedly.

Athena shot him a look. "Would it help if I promised I won't even think about killing you in your sleep?"

"Slightly, I guess."

"Okay," she said, "I promise. Now go to sleep."

"But - " Kai began.

" _Kai_ ," she said, exasperated, wondering if this is how Rowan and Cara had felt when she insisted on staying awake. "The sky won't fall if you get a couple hours of sleep in."

"It might," Kai said. "If there are flying lizards who spit acid, then who knows what else can happen?"

Athena had to bite back a grin. "Go to sleep, Kai."

"Fine," Kai said, finally giving in. "But how about a midnight snack first?"

"We should save that food as much as we can - " Athena began, shaking her head.

"The sky won't fall if we have a little more to eat," Kai cut across her.

She could hardly argue with him  _now_ , so she just said, "Fine."

Grinning, he took from his own bag a box of rations (all he desperately needed from the Cornucopia was more food), as their dinner had consisted of a portion of the rations that Athena had taken. He took a handful of raspberries and a roll of bread, before sliding the box over to Athena. She took the same amount and slid the box back to Kai. For a time, they ate in silence. The food was a huge improvement from previous days of heavily burnt desert creatures. When they were both finished, Athena fished out two flasks of water from her bag. She tossed one to Kai, and they both drank a little to wash it down.

"How many of these things do you have, anyway?" Kai asked, shaking his flask a little, before tossing it back to her.

"Six," she replied, catching the flask and shoving both of them back into her bag. "I'm gonna need to refill them soon, though."

"And they all just came with the backpack?" Kai asked, surprised.

"Oh, no," Athena shook her head. "Only two came with the bag. The rest got sent to me from sponsors."

"You got that much from sponsors?" Kai said, surprised.

"How much did you get?" Athena asked; the tone of his voice and the look on his face made her not want to reveal the other gifts she had received.

"I got two boxes of rations and two flasks to go with it," Kai said. "I had to hide them a bit from the other Careers, though. Another thing about them is that they forget the can't just eat as much food as they want anymore, so they don't try to make what they have last as long."

"That's it?" Athena asked, surprised.

"Yeah," Kai said, then narrowed his eyes. "Why? How much did you get?"

Athena did not answer right away. She made a mental list of everything she had received from sponsors. The cream for the Tracker Jacker stings, two flasks of water, and everything she had needed to tend to her injuries after the explosion, including bandages, packs of ice, pure alcohol, another flask of water, and the cream to speed up the healing process. When she had made the full list in her mind, she was even more reluctant to share it with Kai. She did not much want to admit to him that she had received almost twice the amount of gifts than him. In the Games, that was a huge difference, especially since they were from the same district - a Career district, no less.

"Athena," Kai said, frowning. "Just tell me."

Athena hesitated for a moment longer, before listing off the gifts. When she was finished, Kai was silent for a long time, before he finally said flatly, "I barely got more than half of that."

Athena said nothing. She didn't know what there was to say. She expected Kai to be angry with her. She remembered when, during training, he had begun acting colder and rougher towards her. Finnick had chalked it up to jealousy. When he spoke again, however, it was a humourless sort of laugh.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You were always the one everyone liked..."

Athena frowned at this. "What d'you mean, they all loved you, too - "

"C'mon, Athena," said Kai. "It's different. You know it is. They all just... fell in love with you. Everyone did. I was pushed to the side in comparison. And there's the fact that you have mentors who were much more willing to help you..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Athena demanded, though she suspected she knew. She could hear Finnick telling her, rather awkwardly, not looking her in the eyes, that Kai thought that Finnick preferred Athena over Kai and that it affected his abilities as a mentor.

"It means that Finnick and Mags were probably more than willing to jump to your rescue."

"Well, yeah, they're  _mentors_ ," Athena said. "It's their  _job_ to help us while we're in here."

"And they sure did a  _great_ job when it came to you," Kai said shortly.

"Meaning?" Athena said.

" _Meaning_ ," Kai said impatiently, "the reason they paid so much more attention to you is because they like you better."

"Or  _maybe_ ," Athena said pointedly, "it's because I needed more help. You said it yourself, you've had an easier run at this than me. If I didn't get into all the shit I did, I wouldn't have gotten most of the stuff I did."

"Oh, I bet," Kai said sarcastically, shaking his head. "You wouldn't get it."

"I'm sure I wouldn't," Athena said tiredly.

Kai narrowed his eyes, apparently taking her response as a slight; and she could sense it now, the anger that she had initially expected. "How exactly did you interpret all that attention Finnick kept giving you?"

"I took it as him doing his job as one of my mentors, to be honest with you," Athena said blandly. "I'm still a little lost as to how you're coming to these conclusions."

"I came to them by using my goddamn eyes," Kai said. "He wouldn't have messed around with you so much if he was just doing his job."

"I never said he's not an ass," Athena said, raising her eyebrows. "But he's an ass that does his job. It's not like you haven't gotten anything. Did you ever feel like you were missing something you really, really needed?" Kai said nothing, which was an answer enough for Athena; if he had, he would have used it as another excuse to keep ranting angrily. If he wasn't saying anything, that meant he never actually felt as if he was missing something he desperately needed to survive. "See? I would have died if I didn't get the stuff they sent me. They were making sure I didn't die. That's their job. I just needed more to make sure it didn't happen. I'm the difficult tribute, Kai, I always have been."

"If you're the difficult one, why is it that things always seem to turn out your way?"

"Like that?" Athena said, though with no real heat; if she got angry, it would do nothing to help the situation. Besides, she found she couldn't really be any more than annoyed with him. She knew this was coming from a belief that he'd been abandoned and left to his own devices. She couldn't blame him for reacting negatively to it, misguided as she thought that belief was. "Exactly what  _things_ are always going my way?"

"Just -  _everything!_ "

"I'm really glad you just cleared everything up for me," Athena said sarcastically, raising her eyebrows. "I understand perfectly now."

"Fine - you went from the Reaping when everyone was mocking you to everyone now adoring you," Kai said, frustrated at her sarcasm. "Your evaluation should have been a disaster, but you ended up getting one of the highest scores out of all the tributes."

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Athena said, sighing. She had no idea how she was meant to respond to the idea that she had had everything handed to her. "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to stop denying it!" Kai said hotly. "I want you to just admit it!"

"Fine, then," Athena said tiredly; she was realizing there was no reasoning with him about this. "I got more help, I got more attention, I was favoured. Are you happy now?"

Kai did not say he was happy, which was probably because he did not look it. Conversations were hard when one person was so heavily favoured over the other. In the beginning it had been Kai; now, according to him, it was Athena. He clearly was not taking well to the transition.

"Whatever," he grumbled. "Forget I even said anything. It probably doesn't matter, anyway; now that I'm with you, I probably won't even have to worry about sponsorships anymore." Another pause; and then, "You know what, I am pretty tired. I'm going to sleep."

With that, he stretched out on the floor, turning over so that his back was to her and he was facing the wall. Through it all, Athena thought that it showed a lot of trust that Kai was remotely comfortable with sleeping with his back turned to her. Granted, if Athena intended to kill Kai in his sleep, it wouldn't matter if he had his back to her or not, but still; it had been drilled into them in the academy to never turn your back to an enemy. He still didn't see her as an enemy, no matter how he felt. Athena tried not to think about how long that feeling would last.

After about five minutes of silence, Kai said suddenly, "I'll wake up in a few hours so that we can switch."

"Feel free to take your time with that," Athena said lightly.

"I won't," Kai said matter-of-factly, "but thanks for the suggestion."

"I appreciate the honesty."

There was a pause; then, at the same moment, they both burst out laughing. It took a few moments before their laughter died down completely. Another silence passed between them, and after a while, Athena assumed Kai was asleep. She had finished sharpening her weapons, so she placed the stone in the side pocket of her backpack, figuring they might need it again.

As she kept watch, Athena thought about her argument (if it could be called that) with Kai. Even she had to admit she had gotten by greatly on her own luck and help from her mentors and some sponsors. Still, she didn't know how that proved anything about how Mags and Finnick felt about her in comparison to Kai, unable to understand where he was seeing favouritism. Mags treated her warmly and did seem to like her, but she would have doubtlessly treated Kai the same way, but Kai had never given her the opportunity. As for Finnick... well, it was nearly impossible to interpret how  _he_ was really feeling. He had spent a lot of extra time with her, all those late nights up on the roof of the Training Center, but that was just because he wanted to help her prepare.  _"Do you think I'd give up hours of sleep I could be having to talk to you up here if I thought you didn't stand a chance?"_

Still, those extra hours on the roof had been against Kai's wishes, since he had wanted Finnick to focus only on him. Athena suddenly felt rather guilty, thinking about what Kai's reaction would be if he found out that Finnick had still spent time with her and offered her advice without his knowledge. But a tribute was not truly bound to their district partner in any meaningful way, she told herself firmly. It was not obligatory to do what the other wanted and not do what they didn't want. If it was, Kai would not have requested that they were coached separately during training. He would have allied himself with her rather than the other Careers. But he hadn't owed anything to her. And she did not owe anything to him. Her guilt was still present, however, churning away unpleasantly in her stomach.

"Athena," Kai said suddenly, making her jump, since she had thought he was asleep, "can I ask you something?"

"Uh - sure."

"How many people have you killed?"

"Four by myself," Athena said immediately; she did not need to pause to count. Their names, their faces as they died followed her wherever she went. It was hard to forget. "One was a mercy kill, though. I helped take down two more. So, in total, six."

"Six?" Kai repeated.

"Yes."

Kai let out a long, low whistle, his back still turned to her, saying, "That's a lot."

"Really?" Athena said sarcastically, somehow managing to feel even worse about the things she had done. "I didn't realize."

"Okay, fair point, sorry," Kai said. "I just wasn't expecting it from you."

"A lot of people probably weren't," Athena said flatly, and she could hear the noises her victims had made while she killed them, the gasps and the grunts of pain and the pleas to make the pain stop. This time, however, they were mingled with Iris Dunne's voice, angrily declaring that all Athena ever did was run away and never try to fight back; but the voice was cut off by Finnick's, saying that the things a person could do when they were scared and desperate and their back was against the wall was surprising... "Most of them were at the beginning, though. I haven't done it much for a while."

"Why?" Kai said, sounding confused.

Athena paused for a second, thoughtful. She did not think Kai would understand her pact to avoid killing at all costs. Even if he did, she didn't know how to explain her promise to Rowan to not let the Capitol win when they were being watched by the Capitol.

"I made a choice after I killed Nolan," Athena said vaguely. "It's a promise I made between me and a friend."

"So you haven't killed anyone since Nolan?"

"Besides the one person I mercy killed, no."

A pause; then Kai said, turning his head slightly to look at her. "How long do you think that's going to last?"

Athena was silent for a moment. She couldn't pretend she hadn't thought about it, that her only way out of the arena might be through killing again, that there was a possibility that there would be no avoiding it in the end. As such, she went for an honest answer.

"I don't know."

There was another long pause. Kai might have gone back to sleep, but Athena still asked what she was thinking.

"How about you? How many have you killed?"

Kai evidently was still awake, because he responded right away. "Technically, none. It always ended up that I weakened the enemy and one of the others killed them. It was really important to them that they killed as many people as they could. Almost like the more you killed the better you were. So I never actually killed anyone. I just... injured them real bad."

"You think that doesn't count as killing someone?" Athena asked, though her tone was more curious than accusatory.

Kai was silent for a moment, apparently thinking it over. "Maybe. Probably. I don't know. Maybe I'm just trying to hold onto some idea that I'm not so different from how I used to be. We all need something to keep us holding onto ourselves. I don't know. I just know it's just not the same as you."

"Yeah," Athena said slowly. "Yeah, I know." There was another pause, before Athena said sarcastically, "I'm probably the academy's favourite student right now."

"The academy," Kai murmured, almost resentfully. "The way they talked about being in here... they made you think killing made you feel alive."

"They did," Athena agreed solemnly. "This is definitely the way to live life to the fullest, isn't it?"

Kai didn't respond. He was silent for so long Athena thought he just went back to sleep. When he finally spoke again, he said the last thing she expected to hear from him.

"If this is what living is like, then I don't know if I want to win anymore."


	17. XVII

**XVII**

 

Kai had fallen asleep a few minutes later. He slept for only a few hours, before getting up and insisting that he take watch, to which Athena refused. They went back and forth for at least five minutes, until Kai vowed to knock her out right where she sat if she didn't go to sleep on her own. Athena stared at Kai's face, decided that he was not joking, and gave in only then. She didn't need any more injuries. Satisfied, Kai took up watch, and Athena stretched out on the floor, falling into an uneasy sleep after nearly fifteen minutes. Athena dreamt she won the Games and was crowned victor, but when she returned home, District Four was nothing but sandy ruin, and she could not leave the arena no matter where she went.

Kai woke her up in what felt like no time at all. She jumped a little as he shook her awake. He was much more comfortable with waking her up suddenly than Rowan and Cara had been; they had been much more tentative with her, as though afraid of what she would do to them if they startled her. Kai, in comparison, did not seem worried at all that she might hurt him. Athena couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not.

They prepared themselves for the day ahead of them in what was mostly silence. Neither of them mentioned any part of their conversation from the night before. After they were ready to head out for the day, they decided to start searching for the watering holes. Even though they were both relatively familiar with the way there and they still had a good amount of water between them, it would take a few days to find them again. If they started looking now, they would hopefully find the watering holes by the time they ran out of water.

With this decided, they set out together into the hot, desert air. They hadn't found the watering holes by the end of the day, but they also hadn't been expecting it. Only two things of interest happened. One, while they walked, when the sun was just about to start setting, they heard a canon. They stopped dead in their tracks, looking up as the noise sounded from above. Instinctively, they looked around them, as though a tribute had been dying in their vicinity and they just hadn't noticed it; evidently, they sound no one. They stayed where they were, still, silent, waiting. Sure enough, just over five minutes later, the canon sounded another time. They waited again, another five, ten, fifteen minutes, as though waiting for the canons that would confirm the other two remaining tributes as dead, but they never came. Eventually, Athena and Kai only exchanged significant looks and kept walking.

The other event of significance was after night had fallen and Athena and Kai were searching for shelter. They almost ran into those fatal sand mounds, and (trying not to think about the destroyed body of Paige Yarnn, the very first all they had ever had besides each other) ran away in the opposite direction as fast as they could. While they ran, Athena stumbled over the uneven ground they were running on and somehow managed to mess up her sprained ankle even more than before. Kai laughed at her as they ran, and Athena had to laugh at herself a little, too, even as she cursed her luck.

When they found shelter to rest in for the night, Kai insisted, in what Athena supposed was a rather chivalrous manner, that she stay in the sitting room and tend to her leg while he searched the house himself. Something about that made her feel uneasy, but she accepted when he continued to insist on it. Athena collapsed onto the maroon sofa with its broken springs as Kai went to search the house for any dangers, his bow and arrow at the ready.

She found quickly that the state of her ankle hadn't actually worsened in any way; the extra pressure that her stumble had put on it had simply caused more pain. Otherwise, she was fine. Athena had never considered herself a particularly clumsy person, though. Her father would likely get a kick out of that, if nothing else out of these Games. "See, you inherited more from me than we thought!" he would say, laughing in his way that always made her feel more at home, while her mother smiled and laughed with him, and Calypso made fun of her for her clumsiness. The thought made her smile.

 _They're so close,_ Athena thought, looking down at the blue spinel pendant on her neck.  _They're so close now_...

Athena was interrupted by the sound of Panem's national anthem playing, signalling that it was midnight and time for the death recap. Though she wasn't finished tending to her wounds, Athena rose to her feet and limped over to the window, using her spear as a shaft again, looking up to the sky to see which of the two tributes had died that day. There was the boy from District Five, Atom Heller, and - she felt her heart drop - Amber Cedara of District Seven. Athena stared at the starry night sky long after the death recap was over, reeling from the knowledge that Amber Cedara was dead. Amber had always carried herself with a sort of invincibility, even when she was injured; a part of Athena had always thought she would make it to the very end. She supposed that was the point of the Games, though... to prove to the District's that none of them were invincible, not even when they were victors. Still, she couldn't help but feel grief for Amber. She had saved her life, after all...

She whipped around at the sound of Kai walking into the sitting room. For a moment, they stared at each other in a tense silence, before Kai said awkwardly, "I missed the death recap. Who was it?"

"Atom Heller - the boy from District Five - and Amber Cedara - girl from District Seven."

"The one who tried to kill you and the one who saved your life after you saved hers?" Kai asked.

"Yeah, them," Athena confirmed, nodding.

Another tense silence; then Kai walked over to stand beside her at the window and said, "So that's it, then. Besides us, it's only two people left... who are they, though?"

"There's Dayta Fuse," Athena said, after a moment of thought, having seen her at the Cornucopia the previous day and not seen her in any of the death recaps that followed. "The girl from District Three."

Kai snapped his fingers, pointing at her and nodding, saying, "Yeah, yeah, right! And then... someone else... was it... do you think it might be the girl from Eleven? You know, the one that tried to kill you with the boy from Five?"

Athena thought it over for a moment, but then nodded. "Yeah, I think it's her."

"What was her name again, though?" Kai said, frowning.

"I think it was - I think it was..." Athena said. "Willow... Willow Till! It was Willow Till!"

"Yeah, that's it!" Kai said. "So... it's us and those two."

Another tense moment of silence; then, Kai said, though Athena found she knew what he was going to say before he said it, "Look, I think we should abandon the water search."

"Do you?" Athena said, pretending to be surprised.

"Yes," he said, nodding once. "I think when the sun's up tomorrow, we should hunt these last two tributes down and just end this thing. Once and for all. We're still Careers, Maris. I say we take the Career approach."

"Do you?" Athena said again, because she could not think of what else to say.

"I do," he said firmly. "Are you with me?"

Athena hesitated, studying Kai's face carefully. She could not pretend that she didn't just want for this all to be  _over_ already. It felt like she had passed years in this arena; she wanted it to  _end_ , no matter how it happened. Still, she couldn't help but feel uncertainty. She was scared; scared that she would be killed, be it by Dayta Fuse or Willow Till or Kai; and she was scared that she would not be killed, that she would be one of the last two, unsure of what she would do then, especially if she was alone with Kai. But fear was not enough of a justification to not do something; fear was just another part of the Games. She had no real reason to tell Kai that they shouldn't go along with his plan.

So she said, "I'm with you."

Kai looked a little relieved, as though he had been expecting her to argue it, saying, "Okay. All we need to do for now is wait out the night.."

"I'll take watch," Athena said, before Kai could even think to offer. When he raised his eyebrows at her, she said, "You took watch last. It only makes sense that I do it now."

"I still got more sleep than you," he pointed out. "I can just - "

"I'll be fine," Athena insisted. "I'll take watch."

Kai looked ready to argue, but Athena was ready to hold her ground on this one. She would not sleep at a time like this, would not allow herself to be vulnerable to Kai when there were so few people standing between him and victory. She did not know if Kai would want to be alone when it came time to take down Dayta Fuse and Willow Till, but it was also possible that Kai thought it would be easier for him if he just took Athena out now rather than have to worry about her later. There was the trouble; she did not know what Kai would do. He was liable to do almost anything. Athena brought her hand to the blue spinel pendant, her only real tie to her family for weeks now. She could not risk it.

Kai's eyes landed on her hand on the pendant. He could not have possibly understood its significance (the only person who had received any sort of explanation at all was Finnick, and that was right before the Games started, meaning Finnick would have had no time to tell Kai about it, though it didn't seem as though Finnick was the type to do such a thing, anyway), but his face still tightened at the sight.

"Fine," he said shortly. "Have it your way." He walked away a few steps, then stopped, turned to her, and said, "But you should still be on the sofa. You should probably, you know, elevate your leg and stuff." Athena opened her mouth to protest, but Kai said firmly, "Athena, you need it more than I do."

Athena knew two things: one, that he was right, and two, even if he wasn't, it was not worth arguing over at this point. So she nodded and moved over to the sofa, stretching out on it and placing her sprained ankle on the arm of the sofa to elevate. The shin that had been stabbed by Lana was healing quite well overall, even though it hurt to walk on it. She made signs for both Amber and Atom, placing them by the window, before moving back to the sofa. She kept watching by looking out of the small gap between the red curtain and the window, though she knew she was unlikely to find anything on this night. She had a clear view of the scenery outside, though. She had never seen anything but a barren, dry wasteland in this arena. Now, however, underneath the light of the moon, there was something beautiful about this ruined desert. It looked oddly peaceful.

And because she knew Kai was not asleep (he lied down facing her this time; Athena couldn't tell if it was because he was less angry with her than he was the night before, or if he trusted her less now, or both), she said, "It's sort of beautiful. This arena, I mean."

Athena looked over at Kai, just as he looked away from her to look out the window. He nodded slowly. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is."

He seemed to be asleep in another half an hour. Athena studied him closely for a few moments, from his face to his body language. After a few moments, she deduced that he really was asleep and was not faking it. Still, she glanced over at him repeatedly to make sure he was still there and wasn't suddenly behind her, about to slit her throat. The moonlight shone down on him where he lied, from his golden brown skin to his dark windswept hair to the freckles all along his nose. Somehow, under the light of the moon, he looked younger than sixteen, but at the same time, it felt like she was looking at a ghost.

She wondered, suddenly, about who was waiting for him back home in Four. If he had a loving family who wanted their son back, if his friends were waiting to congratulate him and welcome him back, if that girl he spoke of in his interview was waiting for him... she wondered if that girl was even real or if it was a story he made up to garner sympathy from potential sponsors. She had never asked. She wasn't sure how she could when they were being watched by the Capitol. She didn't think Kai would tell her if she asked him, anyway...

But it did not matter anymore. Now now. It didn't change anything, couldn't change anything. Not now. She needed to remember that.

Athena woke Kai as soon as the sun rose. He was up and alert rather quickly, and made no comment about how Athena was on watch the whole night. They ate from Athena's rations for breakfast, and Athena tended once again to the slowly healing injured parts of her body. With that, they were off, in search of the final two living tributes. Athena didn't think about what she would do when they found Dayta Fuse and Willow Till. She didn't think about what would happen to them. She didn't think about what would happen if it was only her and Kai. She didn't think about anything except putting one foot in front of the other, making sure she kept moving.

Before, the arena felt too small to host all twenty-four of them. It felt like there were eyes on all sides of Athena, watching, waiting to strike. Now, it felt the very opposite was true. These sandy ruins seemed to stretch on forever, never ending. It felt like she and Kai were the only two people left alive in all the world, let alone just the arena. It seemed impossible that there were two other people here, perhaps looking for Athena and Kai as diligently as they were looking for them. It seemed even more impossible that there was a whole country watching them avidly, anticipating the end that was likely to come soon.

 _This was the moment everyone has been waiting for,_ Athena thought.  _Weeks of preparation and interviews and pretty dresses and pain and death and fear, and this was the moment it was all leading up to. This is it._

Athena couldn't tell what she was more afraid of; the possibility that she would not be a part of this moment or the possibility that she would.

"So, that's your token?" asked Kai, gesturing at the necklace on her neck.

Athena glanced down at it and said, "Well, it's not part of the uniform, so yeah. My mother gave it to me."

Kai nodded slowly. Athena hadn't seen a token on him so far, but she still asked, "Did you bring a token?"

"Oh, yeah," Kai said, then pulled back his cargo jacket to show her something pinned onto his white tunic. It was a golden pin, looking woven intricately and delicately together, taking form of two hands holding onto each other tightly, fingers interlocking. There was something beautiful about the hands, and there was something that felt oddly right about this being Kai's token, golden hands joined together on top of Kai's own golden skin.

"Was it your girlfriend who gave you that?" Athena asked suddenly; it was a way to gauge whether or not there really was a girl back home.

"Hmm? Oh - uh - yeah, h - she gave it to me," Kai said.

Athena nodded. They said nothing of his slip-up. They knew they couldn't. They kept walking. Hours passed by without any sign of the remaining tributes. It was late afternoon, while they were walking up an old, uneven road by the time Athena finally found something.

She stopped dead in her tracks, throwing out her arm to stop Kai from proceeding any further, saying, "Wait a minute."

Kai looked over at her, his brow furrowed. "What?"

"Footprints," Athena said, pointing at what were indeed footprints in the sand a few feet in front of them.

Kai shot her a look, annoyance all over his face. "Well, of course there are footprints. This place used to be full of tributes running around. There are footprints everywhere. What's so special about this?"

"They're fresh," Athena said, annoyed at his tone. " _That's_ what's so special about them."

"How can you tell?"

Athena simply looked at him for a moment; then, she said, "You really didn't listen during survival skills, did you?"

Kai shrugged, but had the grace to at least look a little sheepish. "You can't act like it wasn't boring as hell."

Athena said nothing to that, partly because she knew it was true. She walked over to one of the fresh footprints, then stamped one of her own footprints into the sand half a foot away from the print. Athena looked over at Kai, pointing at the print she had just made in the sand.

"That footprint is fresh, right?" she said, and Kai nodded slowly. Athena crouched down onto the balls of her feet, using her spear to point between the fresh print and the one she had just made. "You see how similar these two look? The shape of these prints match the ones from my boots, which means it has to be another tribute and not an animal or something. The edges around the diameter are sharp; the footprints are all clear and well-defined and everything. They haven't become worn out or rounded off from time or the weather or anything, because they haven't had the time to. I'd say these prints," Athena pointed to the set of footprints she had found, "are about an hour old at most. And they lead..." Athena followed the path of prints until she saw them heading across the road they were on, between two small houses, and beyond further than Athena could see. Athena pointed in the right direction with her spear, " _there._ "

"And you're sure those prints are only an hour old?" Kai said.

"See for yourself," Athena replied, getting to her feet as Kai came to stand by her side. "But I don't see how they can be any older than an hour, especially when you compare it to the footprint I just made."

Kai nodded slowly. "Okay, then. So we follow the prints."

And so they set off. Kai looked around for any signs of danger or of the remaining two tributes, while Athena kept an eye on the prints, making sure they were still following the trail. Whoever these footprints belonged to, they did not just walk straight, nor did they made a few simple turns here or there. They twisted and turned at random times, so that it was impossible to have an idea about in which direction they would be heading in a few minutes. She knew Kai was getting annoyed with Athena suddenly changing course for them, and it didn't help matters that they would have to endure no less than an hour of this before they could find the tribute who was leaving these prints.

There was only one set of prints, Athena noted, which meant that whoever this tribute was, be it Dayta Fuse or Willow Till, she was travelling alone. That was a little comforting, Athena supposed. The situation would be easier to deal with if there was only one of them there. She still did not think about what she would do if she ended up being one of the two final tributes, especially if Kai was the second one. She saw only one solution to it all, and the thought tore at her, so she forced herself not to think about it. If she could focus on these footprints, focus on making sure she and Kai were heading in the right direction... that would help carry her through for now.

An hour went by of them following the footprints. There was no sign of the tribute who caused the prints, and the prints continued forward. They saw no other option, so they kept moving. After another hour of following the footprints with no sign of the tribute who made them, however, Kai got frustrated.

He stopped walking and rounded on her, saying, "Look, are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"I'll telling you, Kai, these prints are pretty fresh," Athena said impatiently. "It can't have been by anyone but the last two tributes."

"Then tell me why we've gotten nowhere closer in two fucking hours?" Kai said.

"Well, do you have any better ideas?" Athena snapped. "At least we're following some kind of lead right now instead of wandering around randomly - "

"I might have had something  _before,_ " Kai said stubbornly, "but  _now_ \- I don't even know where we  _are -_ "

"You didn't know where we were before, either!" said Athena, frustrated. "You would've said something if you did!"

"Well, now we're even worse off - "

"Shut up!"

" _Don't tell me to shut up!_ " Kai said furiously.

"No, Kai, shut up and listen!" Athena said, reaching out to him appealingly and bringing a finger to her lips again. Kai still looked disgruntled, but didn't say anything, listening hard.

A few moments of nothing. Kai was looking at her angrily, clearly about to start arguing again, when they heard it. Grunts, groans, a few cries of pain... distinctly human noises... Athena and Kai looked over at each other slowly. Athena was too distracted, too overwhelmed with nervousness and fear and anxiety, to tell Kai that she told him so.

Athena held up a hand, indicating for Kai to follow her lead. She crept forward slowly in the direction of the noises, sticking to the shadows as she walked. They tiptoed in between two buildings that had been almost entirely destroyed, and entered what seemed to have once been a neighbourhood. Athena looked to her left and saw it - saw  _them._

Dayta Fuse and Willow Till were about thirty feet away. The reason they did not see Athena and Kai was because they were locked in combat, and it was clear that it was a fight to the death. Their faces were bloodied, a bruise already forming on Dayta's face and a long, shallow cut along Willow's chest. Their weapons were scattered on the ground a few feet away from them in a way that suggested that they had been knocked out of their hands by the other. Willow tried to pull Dayta into a chokehold, but Dayta elbowed Willow in the face twice over, then forced them back until Willow's back slammed against the wall of an old house. Dayta freed herself from Willow's grasp and ran towards her weapon, that spear Athena knew she barely knew how to use, but Willow grabbed her by the back of her cargo jacket and pulled her back, slamming her against the brick wall of the decrepit house. Willow wrapped her fingers around Dayta's neck, her free hand punching her in the face. Dayta reached about blindly in between punches, grabbing onto one of Willow's many braids and pulling on it as hard as she could. While Willow reacted to the initial pain and her hold on Dayta was weakened, the latter shoved her off of herself roughly with another loud grunt. Dayta made to run towards her spear again, but Willow tripped her over, so that Dayta was soon sprawled on the sandy ground. Willow made to run towards her own weapons, her two daggers, but Dayta grabbed onto her legs, and with one, great tug, dragged Willow to the ground with her.

It was the sort of fighting that came from not having the faintest clue  _how_ to fight, Athena thought. Neither of them probably had much experience with fighting. Willow Till might have been in a few fights, considering her strength, but still not many. Dayta Fuse had likely not been in any, and even if she had, she probably hadn't won them, considering she wasn't all that big or strong. Still, what they lacked in experience they made up for in their desperation to survive, their determination and their willingness to do whatever it took to make it out alive. Very often in the Games, that was what it came down to in the end.

Athena felt Kai shift next to her. She looked over and saw that he was moving closer to the fight, raising his own weapons. Athena acted on instinct. She grabbed him by the front of his jacket, dragging him behind a nearby house to hide them from view.

"What are you - ?" Kai hissed, but Athena held a finger to her lips, indicating for him to be more quiet.

"If we get involved, they might team up just to take us down," Athena whispered urgently, gripping onto his shoulder as though to stop him from jumping up and rushing into battle. "We're Careers, remember? I'm sure they'd much rather face each other in the end than one of us. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that. If one of them can take the other out, then that's one less person for us to worry about."

"You think we can't take them?" Kai demanded, looking a little indignant.

"I think I don't want to bet my life on it," Athena said pointedly, a reply that silenced any further debate.

They both peered around the corner of the house and refocused on watching the brawl that was taking place in front of them. It was clear that Dayta and Willow had been at this long before Athena and Kai had found them. They already had injuries that seemed to only get worse, and their movements became more fatigued with each passing moment. Still, they kept up their fight. They were on their feet again but still weaponless, but they seemed to intend on making up for their lack of weapons by fighting even more viciously and fiercely than ever. Dayta Fuse did not seem like one for physical, hand-to-hand combat, but she lunched at Willow, swiping at her neck, overgrown nails clawing along her skin. Willow grabbed her, throwing her against the wall of the house again. Athena noticed with an unpleasant lurch that the walls were stained with blood now. Dayta kicked Willow twice; once in the knees, then again in the stomach, sending her stumbling backwards and tripping over, crashing to the ground once more.

Dayta smirked triumphantly, advancing toward her, and Willow scrambled back desperately, feeling around wildly under her hands found her daggers. Willow leapt to her feet, ducking a punch that Dayta sent her way and kicking Dayta's spear even further away. Willow wasted no time attacking now that she had her weapons back in her hands, swiping at Dayta viciously with her daggers. Dayta struggled to move out of the way of the daggers, only barely able to dodge the sharpened blades.

Kai let out a noise of frustration, raising his bow a little, saying, "If I could just get a clear shot..."

"You can't," Athena said immediately. "Look at how they're moving!" And indeed, the two fighting tributes had already shifted positions three times already. "The chances of you hitting them are low, and then they'll be on  _our_ case. They're going to take care of each other. Let them."

Kai looked disgruntled and restless, clearly tired of being made to wait, but nodded slowly, lowering his bow.

Dayta had finally succeeded in picking up her spear. Under different circumstances, it would have pained Athena to see someone so woefully inexperienced try to wield a spear, but now, all she did was watch as Dayta tried to kill Willow Till with it, thinking that that was the spear she had used on Lumen Flux, just before she left him to die. But she could not be accusatory, she knew. She had used the same spear she was holding even then to kill Burton Angora and Gwenith Miller and Nolan Bedford, had used it to help kill Angus Keld and Cane Thorne. This spear was just as tainted as Dayta's, and Athena was even worse for using it to do all the monstrous things she had done. They were all tainted things, everyone and everything in that arena; nothing was left untainted. The victor was left to carry that with them for the rest of their lives.

Dayta Fuse and Willow Till were going for blood. It was clear they were at a point where they would do almost anything to end this fight once and for all. Willow lunged at her, aiming to slash at her neck with her dagger, but Dayta dodged, knocking the dagger out of her hand. Dayta tried to stab Willow in the chest, but the blow was clumsily delivered and Willow jumped out of the way with ease, stabbing Dayta in the wrist so that she dropped the spear. Dayta cried out in pain, clutching her bleeding wrist. Willow took that window of weakness to tackle Dayta to the floor, pinning her down so that she was on top, her dagger falling out of her hands as she did.

Athena had to squint a little to see what happened next. Willow wrapped her fingers around Dayta's neck, but this time she squeezed tighter than ever. Even from a distance of thirty feet, Athena could hear Dayta Fuse choke and gasp for breath to no avail, the sound more pronounced in the deadly silent arena. She could see her legs twitching and kicking about, struggling fruitlessly to escape. Soon, her legs became utterly still in odd, unnatural positions and the sounds of her choking were silenced. The canon sounding above them confirmed what Athena already knew had happened. Dayta Fuse was dead.

Slowly, Willow Till rose to her feet, looking almost sickly as she went. She stumbled forward a few steps, away from Dayta's body and towards where Athena and Kai were standing, hidden behind the wall. Athena thought it was only a matter of time before Willow saw them, but it seemed as though Willow was no longer taking in what was around her. After a moment, Athena realized why. The dagger Willow had dropped was now buried to the hilt in the left side of her chest. It seemed, in her last moments, Dayta Fuse had used what was left of her strength to take Willow Till down with her and somehow found a way to pick up Willow's dagger and stab her with it. Willow clutched onto her chest in pain, dropping to her knees. Her body collapsed to the floor, and the canon sounded as she fell, signalling her death.

Athena simply stared at the two corpses, stunned and more than a little horrified. It wasn't until the hovercraft came to collect the two bodies that it registered in Athena's mind that what she had just seen was real. They were dead. The final two tributes were dead. All that was left was her and Kai...

Athena turned her head slowly to look over at Kai as the realisation hit her, only to find that Kai was already looking at her. The look on his face showed the beginnings of a dangerous sort of desperation, the kind that tended to lead to the worst sort of brutality. The look on his face showed the dawning realisation that only one beating heart stood between him and victory, between him and his home. It unsettled her. Athena took a few slow steps back, tightening her grip on her spear and shield, a small frown on her face.

"Kai - " she began.

She didn't know how she would finish that sentence. It didn't matter, though, because Kai cut her off by lunging at her, his hands reaching for her throat. Athena leapt out of the way with a yelp. She tried again.

"Kai - "

But he simply tried to begin the attack anew, aiming a vicious punch at her. Athena dodged it. She tried again.

"Kai - "

"No, Athena," Kai said, with an unexpected ferociousness. " _No!_ You're not going to do this. There's no getting out of this. This is going to end, and it's going to end now!"

He punctuated the last word by lunging at her again. He managed to grab hold of the front of her jacket, but she shook him off, shoving him away from her. He aimed another punch in the face, but Athena ducked. He tried to kick her while she was down, but she stumbled out of the way clumsily, wincing at the extra pressure she was putting on her injured legs. He pulled out one of his knives, running forward and trying to stab her in the chest, but Athena moved out of the way just in time, causing Kai to stumble a little as he had put his entire weight into the blow. When there was a little distance between them, Kai threw the knife, aiming it directly at her heart, but Athena deflected it with her shield, picking up the knife again and throwing it as far away from the both of them as she could, giving him one less weapon to use.

It continued like this for a time, Kai giving out blows and Athena struggling to dodge them. All the while, however, Athena did anything she could to avoid doing any real damage to Kai. After a while, Kai seemed to be angered by it.

"You're just going to run away every time?" he said roughly, after another failed attack from Kai and the two began to circle each other, Athena eyeing Kai warily. "You're not even going to try to fight back?"

"I'm not going to hurt you, Kai," Athena said, and she didn't know when exactly she had decided this, but it felt important to her that she found another solution. "There has to be another way."

"Another way?" Kai repeated, his voice one of deadly calm. "You think there's another way, Athena? Prove it. Put down your weapons. If you're so sure there's another way, then put them down."

"I'm not going to do that, Kai," Athena said, shaking her head.

"Why not?" Kai said, his voice dripping in hostility. "If you really think there's another way, then why not do it?"

"Because I know what you'll do to me if I do," Athena replied calmly.

"Because you know," Kai said roughly, shaking his head. "You  _know_ there's no way out. This is the only way. You're just trying to buy time for yourself, but I'm not falling for it. I'm not  _falling_ for that  _bullshit!_ I won't do it!"

With that, he recommenced his attack, breaking out of the circle they had been treading to jump at her, hands reaching for her throat. Athena leapt out of the way, allowing him to stumble around clumsily until he regained his balance again. He attacked her again, then again, not giving up despite the fact that Athena dodged his attacks every time. He was being impaired by his own desperation, she knew. It caused him to act more rashly, made his movements more clumsy, his blows less effective. It was the only reason she had't been forced to resort to any sort of violence yet. Still, Athena knew it was only a matter of time before that would change.

After several failed attacked with his knives, Kai threw the last of them, aiming for her face, but Athena ducked, and the knife went flying right past, lodging into the wall of a house almost fifteen feet away. With a grunt, Kai charged at her, trying to knock her over while she was crouched down, but she moved out of the way, pushing against him with her golden shield to send him stumbling back. She backed away from his stumbling frame, until there was around ten feet between them.

Kai refused to get discouraged about the distance between them, however. He just picked up his bow, took one of the arrows slung against his back, and fired, aiming directly at her stomach. Athena was quick to hold up her shield to block it, the arrow lodging into the golden shield with a dull thud.

"Fight back," he growled.

Athena said nothing. Kai picked up another arrow and fired again, this time aiming for her heart. Athena raised her shield to protect her chest, and the second arrow lodged into the shield, as well.

"Fight back," Kai said again.

Still, Athena said nothing. His frustration evident, Kai grabbed another arrow and fired for a third time. This time he aimed for her head. Athena threw up her shield to protect her head, ducking her head slightly to protect herself further. The dull thud signalled that the arrow had buried itself into her shield.

Athena lowered her shield slowly as she heard Kai growl once more, "Fight back. Fight back, you coward, fight back!"

It was clear that Kai's desire to kill her had temporarily been taken over by his desire to get some sort of reaction from her, his desire to have her try to kill him as hard as he was trying to kill her. Perhaps if she tried to kill him too, he would feel less guilty about what he was doing. Either way, she refused.

"I'm not going to do that, Kai," she said calmly. As thought to punctuate her point, she puled out the arrows buried into her shield, and threw them as hard as she could to her left. The arrows soared into a broken window a house around ten feet away, disappearing out of sight into the sitting room of the house. He had only two arrows left now, one of them at the ready on his bow.

"Why not?" he snapped immediately. "Why won't you fight back?"

"Because there's another way - "

"Another way," Kai said, anger bubbling just under the surface, about to boil over. "Another way? What other way? There is no other way! This is it! This is the only way! There can only be one victor, it's either you or me! You knew that if it ended up being the two of us one of us would have to die. You knew that going into the Games, and you knew that when you agreed to being allies again. You  _knew_ it. Stop trying to avoid it and just face it!"

Despite his strong words, there was an almost childish helplessness to the way he spoke. He seemed to sense it himself, because he fired the arrow at her so rapidly she just barely had time to throw up her shield to protect herself.

"You know there's no other way!" Kai said wildly. "You know it! So just face it! Fight back!"

"No, Kai - " Athena began, but he cut her off.

"No, you can't - you don't - " Kai began, but seemed to switch tactics at lightning speed, suddenly saying venomously, "You must think you're so much better. With how you don't kill and you put up those signs, you must think you're so much better than me or anyone of the other tributes - "

"I don't do it because I'm trying to be better than anyone - " Athena said.

"Then why?" Kai said fiercely, and before she could even try to respond, he was saying, "Why? Because of a promise to a friend? What friend, Athena? What friend did you have in here, really? What friend did any of us have?"

Athena said nothing. She did not know what there was  _to_ say. She did not know how she could explain the promise she had made to Rowan, the promise to not let the Capitol win. She didn't know if Kai would understand it, and even if he would, she didn't know how to explain it when they were doubtlessly being broadcasted to the Capitol at that very moment.

"You know it's true!" he burst out accusingly. "You know it is! Admit it!"

He punctuated the sentence by firing his last arrow at her. It came so quickly and so suddenly that her immediate instinct was to simply duck down, the arrow soaring over her head. Kai charged at her as soon as the arrow missed, tackling her to the ground, and this time, she didn't dodge in time. They both went crashing onto the sandy ground, Kai on top of her. Her spear and shield fell from her hands as they went.

He grabbed her by the front of her cargo jacket and shook her roughly, saying, "There's no way around this! There's - nothing - for - it - "

On what seemed to be an impulse, Kai grabbed the arrow that had been lodged into the shield that she hadn't thrown away yet. He had dropped his bow when he went to tackle her to the ground, but he was unfazed. He had every intention, it seemed, of simply using the arrow like a knife and stabbing her there. Only then did Athena act. She reached up and punched him in the face so hard her knuckles hurt after. While he was weakened, she pushed him off of her and scrambled to her feet, picking up her spear and shield as she went and kicking the arrow out of his hands. Kai rose to his feet slowly, touching his cut lip and his likely aching jaw tentatively, but he did not look particularly perturbed by Athena's action, and she knew it was because she had at last given him what he wanted. He hadn't even pinned his hands down, because he had wanted her to act, had wanted her to fight back, had wanted her to give him more justification for his attempt to kill her to soothe his own guilt. She had given him precisely that.

"See," Kai said, his eyes alight with a twisted sort of triumph. "I knew it. I knew you weren't above it all."

"I'm not trying to be above it all," Athena said, trying desperately to remain calm and collected; if she lost control, the entire situation was beyond saving. "I just want you to see beyond  _this_. Beyond this moment. There's more to this, Kai. I'm not your biggest enemy. And you're not mine."

"Then who is?" Kai said, but she could not answer that question, not when the enemy of whom she spoke was watching right now. When Athena said nothing, Kai said, shaking his head slowly, "You don't have anything. You're grasping at straws, trying to act like you didn't stoop as low as me - or even lower."

"Yes, I did!" Athena said desperately, switching tactics. Though she did not relinquish her weapons, she spread out her hands in a semi-surrender. She needed him to see, to understand. "That's why I killed Nolan. And Nolan killed Rowan, and Rowan killed Angus Keld, and Angus Keld killed Nina Brites, and Nina Brites tried to kill me! Don't you see? It's a circle. It goes around and around and around, and no matter what happens here, the person who wins this isn't going to be you or me. You know that, don't you? Come on, Kai. Please.  _Please._ "

Something in Kai's face seemed to change slowly as she spoke. Before she could decipher it and figure out what he was thinking, she was distracted by something in the distance behind him. Kai frowned at the sudden change in her focus, before turning slowly to follow her gaze. What seemed to be forty feet away, black, oily matter was spouting from the street like geysers, billowing between old, ruined buildings and houses, crating what appeared to be an impenetrable wall of darkness. Athena had never seen anything like it, not in all her years studying at the academy, nor in her days of training. Judging by the bewildered look on Kai's face and the string of curse words he let out, he had never seen anything like it either. It seemed to be neither liquid nor gas, natural nor mechanical. It was certainly lethal, though. The blackness was rising even higher than some of the buildings, swelling, rolling at them like a wave.

Athena understood immediately. The Capitol thought they were taking too long. They wanted these Games to end, and they wanted to be entertained by it. The Gamemakers were speeding up the process.

Snapping out of her shock, Athena said, "Run." When Kai did not move, she said again, impatiently, " _RUN!_ "

She grabbed a fistful of his jacket and shoved him roughly in front of her to get him to start running. He finally did. Athena ran too, despite the fact that her injured legs were screaming in pain at the pressure she was putting on them. Neither of them seemed to know where to run except  _away_ from the rising waves of blackness, so that was what they did. Before long, however, Athena found herself gagging on the smell of it, thick and tarlike. She glanced back over her shoulder as the two of them were sprinting, and felt her heart drop. The wave had crested and begun to fall.

"Higher ground," Athena yelled out suddenly, over the roaring of the wave. "We need to get to higher ground. Come on!"

She led the way to a nearby house, scaling the wall as quickly as she could, hoisting herself onto the roof. Kai followed suit clumsily. Athena looked back at the wave of blackness. It encased everything it touching in the hot tarlike substance, covering it in the blackness. And they were not high enough from the ground yet. They needed to get higher.

Trying not to gag on the smell, Athena cried out over the roaring of the wave, "Come on, we need to get higher!"

With that, she ran to the edge of the roof and jumped onto the nearest building, beginning to scale the wall, using windowsills and craters in the wall as handholds and footholds. As she climbed, she felt something clawing at her foot, trying to yank her back down. For one fearful moment, she thought the black substance had reached her. When she looked down, though, she saw it was Kai, trying to send her crashing onto the ground, straight into the dark wave that waited below, slowly rising. Athena kicked her leg around wildly until she had shaken him off and recommenced her climbing, moving faster so that Kai did not have another opportunity to try to drag her back down again.

The moment she reached the rooftop, she was looking for another building to climb. They were still not high enough. The black, bubbling substance was rising higher and higher, gaining speed with every passing moment. They were running out of time.

Athena was going to be the first to start scaling the building, but she did not trust Kai enough to have her back turned to him any longer, so she turned to him and said, "Come on, quickly! Climb up that one!"

Kai ran to the edge of the roof and jumped to the building Athena had pointed to, gripping onto a windowsill to keep him from crashing into the depths of the rising darkness below them. Athena waited as long as she could, before following suit and beginning to scale the building. When her hands found the edge of the roof, Kai suddenly appeared before her, blocking the light from the setting sun. He was stomping on her fingers with his boots, trying to get her to let go. Despite the pain that came from the pressure he was putting on her fingers, Athena held on as tightly as she could, hoisting herself up onto the roof and ducking a punch sent by Kai in one fluid motion.

"You really think you're in the clear yet?" Athena yelled, then pointed at the tarlike substance that was continuing to rise more and more, covering everything it touched, the wave roaring in their ears, the noxious scent of it permeating the air. "We need to keep moving - we need to get up higher!"

Kai seemed to realize at last that she was right, becoming momentarily distracted from killing her once again. Athena found another building for them to scale, pointing it out to him. He ran to the edge of the roof, jumping onto the building, and began to climb as fast as he could. This time, Athena was quick to follow suit. The black substance came dangerously close to touching her, so she quickened her pace as much as she could, pulling herself up onto the rooftop, half of which had been blown off, as soon as she could.

Once they were both there, they waited, looking around them, tense, hardly daring to breathe. They were studying the black wave, watching what it did, waiting to see if they were on high enough ground yet. The wave rushed into the building on top of which they were standing, pouring in through open windows and unsteady doors, filling the inside of the building, but it did not seem to be rising any higher. It had reached its peak. Though the smell of it was almost suffocating and the roaring in her ears was echoing overwhelmingly in her head, they were as safe as they would get.

Athena looked up slowly from the black wave to Kai, and found that he was already charging at her again. Athena stepped out of the way, and Kai just barely managed to regain his control before he ran right off the roof. He seemed to be realizing that this was much more dangerous than it had been before. They had limited space on this rooftop, and if they fell, not only would they be falling from such a great height, but it would be straight into that tarlike substance, from which there was no chance of survival. They would both have to be much more careful.

As though as one, they began to circle each other again. The distance between them was shorter this time, due to their limited space. All Athena had to do was stick out her spear at the right time and it would all be over... she could go home again... but she did not. Her spear was tightly held in her hand, and she did not move it at all. The only thing she moved was her shield, raising it, ready to use it to protect herself at any moment.

"It has to end," Kai said, coughing slightly from the fumes. "It has to end... this is what that black stuff is about... it has to end..."

With that, he charged forward again, raising that arrow he had been holding before, wanting to drive it into her stomach. She deflected the blow with her shield, using it to shove him backward, sending him stumbling back again, struggling to regain his balance. Apparently, she refused to give up, because he charged for her again, and they were off again, Kai trying to kill her and Athena blocking and dodging his blows, careful not to do too much damage to him. The roof creaked with every step that they took. Athena was uneasy because of it, unsure of how long the already weakened roof would be able to hold them, how long until the rest of it caved in, as well.

"What is this?" Kai finally cried out, clearly overwhelmed with frustration. He stood at the point just before the roof began to cave in, while Athena stood at the edge of the roof. "Why are you doing this? Why are you trying so hard not to kill me? What exactly makes me worth any of this extra struggle for you?"

"What is it about you that makes you deserve to die?" Athena countered. "What is it about any of us that makes us deserve to die?"

"Don't avoid my question!" Kai said, with a helplessness that made Athena's heart shrink. They were just kids... why were they forced to answer questions of life and death, why were they made to decide who lived and who died? They were just kids... they were students in school together only weeks ago (because it really only had been weeks, she supposed, and not the years that it felt to her. "Why are you doing this? Why won't you fight back?"

"Because I made a promise," Athena said firmly. "To a friend and to myself. I promised them that... that I wouldn't let the wrong people win. I promised them that I would find another way - or that I would try, at least. I made a promise. And now I'm choosing something. I'm choosing to keep it, as best as I can."

There was a silence, save for the roaring of the black wave, before Kai said slowly, shaking his head, "All our lives... we were taught and trained to do one thing... and now you won't do it..."

"I was never the academy's best student," Athena shrugged halfheartedly. "It's not that surprising."

"Yes, it is," Kai insisted, his eyes wide as he stared at her. "It is! This is what we've been taught to do. This is how we've been taught to be. Tributes, soldiers, bringing honour to our district and our country. What are we, if we're not that?"

He did not say it the way she had expected him to, like he was spewing all the regular lies fed to them by the Capitol as if he believed them wholeheartedly. He said them instead like he was unravelling, like his entire grasp on life had shifted significantly and he desperately needed something to hold on to, to keep him steady.

Athena thought about it for a second, before saying, "Ourselves, I guess. We're ourselves. There has to be more to us than just - than just  _this._ " Athena gestured around the arena, now even more ruined than ever, covered in the tarlike substance, turned black. "That's what the signs are about. To show that we're still ourselves. We're still  _people._ "

Another silence passed between them, longer this time. Thoughts of killing her seemed to have evaporated from Kai's mind. Slowly, Athena lowered her shield. As she had expected, Kai made no move to attack her. Kai was blocking the light of the setting run, so that he seemed to be outlined in its light. The sky was full of the pinks, oranges, reds, and purples of sunset. The day was ending now.

"That friend," Kai said suddenly. "Who made your promise to... who was it? Was it Finnick?"

Athena blinked, momentarily stunned. " _What?_ "

"That friend you made your promise to," Kai said again. "Was it Finnick?"

"Why the hell would it be Finnick?" Athena said. "He's my mentor. If anything, he'd encourage me to kill as many people as I can."

"You think I don't know about those private talks you two had?" Kai said in a low voice. "I'm not stupid, you now. I just don't know what exactly you talked about."

"He was just giving me extra preparation for the Games, that's all," Athena said tiredly. "He was just giving me advice. I didn't make any promises to him, and he didn't ask me to."

"Then who - who did you - ?" Kai said uncertainly.

Athena hesitated for a moment, before saying finally, "Rowan. It was Rowan. He made me promise before he died. And now I'm keeping it."

A third silence; and then, Kai was saying slowly, hollowly, looking around at the wrecked arena, "All this to bring honour to our district and country..."

"The common goal of all the districts," Athena said tonelessly, nodding once.

Kai looked up at her slowly, the ghost of a humourless smile on his face. "Some honour this is."

Athena said nothing. She didn't know what there was to say. Kai was still holding that arrow. He advanced towards her suddenly, and whether it was a gesture of friendship or to attack her again, she didn't know. She would never know, and it did not matter, because at that moment, the roof caved in from under him and he was falling to the dark wave, dropping the arrow.

" _KAI!_ " Athena cried out, and for the first time, willingly dropped her spear and shield.

She rushed forward, sliding onto her knees and reaching out to grab Kai by his outstretched hand. He stopped falling as Athena kept a tight grip on his hand. Athena tried to pull him back up onto the roof, but she was still weak from her injuries and Kai was heavy and their hands were both sweaty from the heat and their own stress and fear, so that she found her grip on his hand slipping, frequently needing to be tightened again.

Their grip on each other's hands slipped, and suddenly Kai was falling again. Athena leaned down further, risking falling off the roof herself right after him, and managed to grab hold onto his hand again, but it was too late. His right foot was already submerged in the black substance. He screamed from the pain, tears springing in his eyes at the doubtlessly boiling hot sensation of the tarlike substance burning his feet, melting his boots. It took everything Athena had not to panic. She grabbed onto both of his hands with both of hers, holding onto him so tightly it hurt.

"I'm going to get you out!" Athena said, abandoning all sense, all reason, all logical thoughts telling her that it was likely over for Kai. There was a chance, there was still a chance... "I just - need to - pull -  _harder!_ "

She tried to pull him up with all her strength, but he only moved up a few inches, his feet still submerged in the substance. Athena was about to try again, when Kai spoke.

"Athena," he said, shaking his head, looking up at her with apparently difficulty. "Athena, it's over. It's over for me. Serves me right, I guess, huh?"

He said the last sentence with a weak laugh, but Athena was shaking her head feverishly, ignoring the tears that were welling in her own eyes, saying, "No, no, Kai, no... I can get you out... I just need... to... to be stronger... I need to pull... harder..."

"Athena," he said again, as though every syllable caused him pain. "Let me go. It's over for me, Athena, just let me go."

But Athena was still shaking her head, still trying to tug Kai back up onto the roof with all her might, but it was getting harder and harder each time, and she suddenly felt weaker than ever. Tears were stinging her eyes and her chest felt like it was closing in on itself painfully, but she could not stop to wipe them.

"If I can just - I can fix this - I just need to - " Athena said desperately. "I can't just let you die - I can - I can - "

But she did not know what she could do. It felt, quite suddenly, like she could not do anything at all.

"Athena, please!" Kai said, pleading with her now. "Athena, please let me go. My life wasn't my own, and it never was, so let my death be mine. Give me something to keep me holding onto myself. Let my death be my own.  _Please,_ Athena."

But Athena found she could not let him go. She could not release him. She could not let him die.

"Athena, trust me!" he said. When Athena still did nothing, he said, "For once... for once, just trust me. Please. Just trust me."

But Athena still did not let go, still did not relinquish him. She was not pulling him up anymore, finding that she was no longer had the strength, but she was holding onto him so tightly that the palms of his golden hands were completely white.

Finally, Kai forced one of his hands out of her grip. Athena tried to reach out and grab it again, but Kai moved it out of her reach. If she went any further, she would fall in, too. Thinking Kai would wrench his other hand out of her, she redoubled her grip on it, but his hand was going instead inside his jacket. He fiddled with something on what seemed to be his tunic, gritting his teeth from the pain, before pulling out his token, the pin with the two golden hands holding onto each other. Before Athena could do anything, Kai shoved the point of the pin into the hand that was holding his, right into her swollen wrist. Athena cried out in pain, and her grip on his hand loosened just enough so that he was now fully separated from her grasp.

"KAI - KAI!" Athena screamed, reaching out to him again despite the risk, despite her even more weakened wrist.

It was too late now, though. Kai was falling, falling, falling, sinking into the dark, tarlike substance. There was his screams of pain as he sank further and further down into the black substance which burned every part of his skin. Then the darkness swallowed him whole and there was nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Until - 

The canon sounded, and Kai Emerson was dead. And so was Willow Till and Dayta Fuse and Amber Cedara and Atom Heller and Lana Ryker and -

The black, bubbling substance began to subside, having served its cruel, twisted purpose in these wicked Games. Athena watched as it sank back down as though it was being drained, disappearing into the floor like it had never existed, feeling oddly hollow despite the tears falling from her eyes. When the black substance had disappeared completely, what she was on the floor of the building nearly made her throw up what little contents were in her stomach.

It was Kai's body, but it was blackened by the tarlike substance, the substance having burnt him away to a crisp and solidified until he was nearly unrecognizable. He was no longer golden. She could no longer see the freckles along his nose. There was no way of knowing that his hair had always been perpetually windswept, no matter what the situation, no matter what the climate. Had she not seen him sink into the darkness with her own eyes, she would not have been able to tell that this was Kai Emerson at all. The golden tribute, the golden boy reduced to this...

Athena looked down at the pin of the two joined hands, still stuck in her wrist, if only because it was a reason to not look at what had become of Kai Emerson. She pulled it out. She did not seem to be able to feel physical pain at the moment, ignoring the blood that came out from the place Kai had stabbed her with the pin. Athena wiped the blood from the pin with fumbling, shaking hands and her white tunic (now so dirtied by blood and sweat and dirt and sand that it was barely white at all, however), before examining it closely, the way the hands came delicately together, with no apparently intention to ever let go.

He had given this token to her. Whether he had realized the significance of this at the time or not, he had given her the thing that was of the most significance to him in his last moments. She placed it in the pocket of her cargo jacket, making sure it was tucked in securely. Now that she could go home, back to District Four... she could give it back to his lover, whoever they were, she could give this pin back to the since he could not. It was the least she could do for Kai, since in the end, she had not been able to do anything at all for him... Athena thought about this as she looked at his blackened, wasted corpse, and actually did throw up, retching painfully due to how little was in her stomach, feeling bile and disgust and helplessness claw their way up her throat, leaving no room to breathe, leaving no room to do anything but let the feelings overwhelm her.

When the wind began to blow above her head, whipping loose strands of hair about, Athena tore her eyes away from Kai's corpse and saw, as she expected, the hovercraft. Athena closed her eyes, burying her head in her hands as she felt herself shake as they collected Kai Emerson's wrecked body. She only lifted her head just slightly when the air became still again and she knew the hovercraft was gone.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Claudius Templesmith's voice boomed above her, and Athena was not surprised by the sudden sound of his voice, simply staring ahead of her blankly. She had been waiting for this, expecting it to come at any moment... "I am pleased to present the victor of the Sixty-Ninth Annual Hunger Games, Athena Maris! I give you - the pride of District Four!"

 _The pride of District Four_ , she thought blankly and she almost laughed, because she could not think of something less worthy of pride than her, monstrous and dirty and shaking. What was there about her that would evoke pride next to Kai, golden and handsome and bold?

Her thoughts were becoming more jumbled than ever from the roar of the crowd in the Capitol that they were playing live over the speakers. They were screaming and yelling and singing and, Athena realized after a while, chanting her name over and over again. But the roar from their combined voices only sounded like the roar of the black wave that had destroyed Kai, and how could they be cheering? How could any of them be celebrating? Did they not see what had happened to Kai? Did the cameras not show his body? How could someone see his wasted, blackened corpse and feel anything but sick to their stomach, overwhelmed with their own horror and grief?

Her heart was pounding so fast that she thought it would burst in her constricting chest, and with every passing second it was getting harder to breathe, and this suddenly too small arena seemed to be closing in on her, and tears were still stinging her eyes painfully, and her throat felt like it had been clawed at until it was left raw, and her head was pounding so hard she thought it might burst, but before it could all become too much for her, she remembered something important: the signs.

Athena could not leave this arena without putting up the signs. This fact was enough to keep her head somewhat clear again. She had something to focus on, she had something to do. She swung her backpack off her shoulders, opening it up and pulling out three planks of wood, three sticks, and more rope. She reached over and grabbed her spear again to carve out the message. She made Kai's sign first. When it was done, it read:

_Kai Emerson, 16_

_District 4_

_We all need something to keep us holding onto ourselves._

 

She spent extra time on his, making sure everything was right, before placing it to the side for the moment and focusing on the other two signs, those of Dayta Fuse and Willow Till. The place where Dayta Fuse and Willow Till had died was far away from the rooftop. She hadn't realized how far she and Kai had run until now. She didn't know if she could run back to the place of their deaths before the hovercraft came to get her. The Gamemakers had always afforded her enough time to put up a sign before collecting the body, but she suspected that was all part of the show to them.

The show was over.

In the end, Athena decided not to risk it. She made their signs with Kai's, tying them all together strategically so they could all prop each other up. Dayta's sign read:

_Dayta Fuse, 15_

_District 3_

_When your problems are too big, the only thing left is to make sure you stand bigger._

 

Willow's sign read:

_Willow Till, 17_

_District 11_

_The fight to the end is the hardest of all, but it's one I'm willing to fight._

 

Both quotations had come from their interviews with Caesar. She had nothing else to go off for either of them. She had not known them well enough to be able to come up with anything else. Dayta's quotation had come after being asked how she would face any challenges in the arena. Willow's had come after being asked how she would keep herself motivated to keep fighting throughout the Games. Athena thought there was too much truth to both of their words, but also thought there was sick sort of irony to the fact that she was the living proof of it and not them.

She placed the three signs, all tied together to keep each other standing, in a place on the roof that was as steady as the unsturdy house would get. She dropped her spear, almost deflating as she did, the roar of the Capitol crowd making her pounding head feel even worse. The moment she did, the hovercraft appeared again, but this time, she was the one being collected. A ladder dropped, and Athena knew she had to grab onto it, had to allow herself to be brought up and delivered to the rest of her life as a victor, but she found, despite how often she had wished to be free of the arena all throughout the Games, that she was not ready yet. She looked around her, all around the arena. For the first time, as Athena looked out into the distance, at this arena that had been destroyed even more by the dark substance, Athena thought, truly thought, about all the ghosts that lived here. The ghosts of the tributes who had all been alive not so long ago, and the ghosts of the citizens who had lived in this old, ruined city before it had been torn apart by war. So many people had walked these streets. She was the only one that survived it. There was nothing left but her.

 _Nothing but the monsters and the ugly things could survive here,_ she thought.

With that, Athena stood up slowly, her entire body feeling like it was made of lead. She took a deep breath, bracing herself, and placed a foot on the first rung of the ladder. The electric current froze her in place, but this time she was glad. She suddenly felt too weak to be able to hold on for the whole ride. Athena's eyes looked down at the arena, at this destroyed old war zone, as it got smaller and smaller and smaller, her eyes glued to the spot Kai Emerson had died, the noises of the Capitol crowd and the roar of the black wave still echoing in her ears.

Athena landed in the hovercraft, the door closing behind her and the current stopping. She looked around her, reeling. The hovercraft was clean, everything pristine and shining and sterile and almost clinical. Nothing like that sandy, ruined city that she had been wandering in for weeks. Everything in this hovercraft was untouched by the Games. Except for her. They were all untainted by the Games. Except for her. A doctor, a woman with dark hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, in sterile white, masked and gloved, walked towards her. What a contrast she was to Athena, who was bloody and filthy and scarred and messy.

"Congratulations, Athena," the woman said, smiling as she approached, but it was all wrong, like she was hallucinating, but it had to be real. The overwhelming pain and grief that she felt could not be anything but real. "Not it's time to look after those injuries..."

The woman reached out to grab her arm, but Athena jerked away violently, saying roughly, "Don't touch me."

The doctor looked at her warily, but said, "Athena, you sustained serious injuries in the arena. You did a good job tending to them considering what you had, but now it's time for them to be healed properly - "

The doctor reached out to her again, but Athena still jerked her arm away from her, growling again, "Don't touch me."

Another doctor, a man dressed similarly to the woman came into sight, striding towards them and grabbing Athena, as well.

She forced herself roughly out of his grip, saying again, "Don't touch me."

Athena's mind was still in the Games, and these doctors were another trap sent by the Gamemakers to kill her. She wished she had her spear and shield with her - or at least her shield. Why did she leave them behind? How could she had been so stupid? Was she really so foolish as to believe that she would ever be safe again?

The woman whispered something to the man. The man nodded and walked away. Athena watched them warily, unsettled by the fact that she did not know what they were going to do. The man reappeared a minute or so later. Athena could tell immediately that he was hiding something in his hands.

"Hey," she said hoarsely. "Hey, what are you hiding? What are you carrying there? What are you - ?"

She was interrupted when the woman suddenly grabbed her from behind. Immediately, Athena was struggling and thrashing wildly against her, trying to free herself, but the woman's grip on her was vice-like, like Willow Till's on Dayta Fuse's neck, like Lana Ryker's had been on her own neck.

"Hey, let me go!" Athena grunted, panic building up rapidly inside her. "Let me go! Hey, don't touch me! Don't touch me! Don't - "

But then the syringe that the man must have been holding was jabbed into her neck. The effect was instantaneous. Athena slumped against the woman, her body suddenly feeling sluggish and heavier than lead. All sound became muffled in her ears, and in no time at all, everything went black.


	18. XVIII

**XVIII**

 

Athena woke up slowly, gaining movement in her body by sections. First it was her feet, wriggling her toes experimentally. Then it was her legs, lifting each one in the air by an inch before bringing them back down. It was her torso next, shifting slightly where she lay to get more comfortable. Then her arms, stretching them out, wriggling her fingers. Then it was her neck and face, rolling her neck to get rid of the cramping, groaning slightly. She tried to open her eyes but had to close them quickly, blinded by the bright light of the sun.

The sun. It was day How long had she been asleep? The sun was about to disappear last she remembered, the sky a mixture of the oranges and reds and pinks and purples of sunset. How could she have slept so long? She tried to sit up, but something around her waist kept her from rising more than a few inches. That was when panic settled into her body. Did someone find her? Tie her up? Why hadn't they killed her already then? What was the point of keeping her alive? She strained her ears for some sort of noise, but all she heard was a very faint buzzing noise, probably from some insect in the distance. Whoever had tied her up was gone. Maybe they had heard a noise and went to investigate. Maybe they had been killed before they could kill her. But why wouldn't she be dead, too? It was possible her captor's killer had assumed she was dead, but it felt awfully foolish to not at least check.

Regardless, whoever and wherever her captor was, they weren't very careful. They hadn't tied up her arms. She reached out for her spear - or anything at all - to cut herself loose and found - nothing. At all. Not even the ground. Now fully panicked, she opened her eyes, squinting against the light. She struggled blindly against her restrains, feeling that tightness in her chest again and struggling to breathe, trying to wriggle herself out and escape.

"Hey! Hey - calm down, it's okay, it's okay, you're safe. Athena, you're safe, I promise, okay? Relax. Please slow down, you're safe."

It was that voice only that made her stop. She tilted her head to look at Finnick Odair, who was standing over her, wrenching her fingers free and taking them in his own warmer hands. It was only then that she took in her surroundings. She wasn't lying on the ground, but in a bed, much softer than anywhere else she had been lying on since entering the arena. She wasn't even in the arena at all, but in a square room which was bare save the bed she was lying on; no windows or doors or anything. The light from above was not from the sun, but from the artificial light of the room, as was the source of the buzzing, instead of some distant insect. Several tubes were hooked into her arm, leading into the wall behind her. The thing that was holding her down was a wide, restraining belt attached to the bed.

"Why am I being strapped down?" she demanded, shifting, trying to wriggle her way out of it. "Why am I being held down?"

"Don't worry," he said, his voice soothing. "You're fine. It's just protocol. Sometimes victors go... rogue right after coming back from the arena. They think they're still in the Games. They freak out, they hurt the people around them, they hurt themselves. This is to prevent that."

 _The Hunger Games doesn't sound so fun when it can hurt the Capitol, I guess,_ she thought bitterly, but very slowly, sat back, relaxing her muscles.

"Are we in the Training Center?" she asked after a long pause as she tried with difficulty to adjust to these new conditions, utterly different from the condition she had been in the past few weeks, looking around the room. Finnick, to his credit, had allowed her to take her time.

He nodded. Athena realized then that she wasn't wearing her clothes from the arena - in fact, she wasn't wearing anything at all. Startled and embarrassed in spite of herself, she yanked the sheets covering her further up her body, though they already covered up most of everything. She expected Finnick to make some sort of smart remark at that, but it never came. If anything, he seemed rather sheepish.

"The blankets covered you the whole time," he murmured, not quite meeting her eyes. "Even if they didn't - uh - I wouldn't have looked."

It was strange to hear such tentativeness from him. In other circumstances, she probably wouldn't teased him for it. Now, she just hiked the sheets up a little further and said nothing about it.

"Uh - here - I can - " he said, before pressing a button somewhere along the side of her bed-frame. Half of the bed rose to bring her into a sitting position.

"Thanks," she murmured, clutching the blanket more tightly about herself. "Where's Mags?"

"Waiting for you to be cleared from here," Finnick replied. "So is Alayne. Technically, you're supposed to be alone during all of this. If you haven't noticed, though, the Capitol has a soft spot for me - "

"Really? I had no idea," she said sarcastically.

" - so I managed to sweet talk my way into waiting for you in here," he finished, though he grinned at her comment. "I know coming back to the Training Center after everything can be... overwhelming, to say the least. I wanted to be there to help you through it. I tried to smuggle Mags in, too, but they have to draw the line somewhere."

 _And Mags isn't an eighteen year-old boy with pretty eyes and toned muscles,_ Athena thought, but for several reasons, decided against pointing out the likely role that fact had in making them draw the line at Mags. She was surprised that Finnick had gone out of his way to make sure she was okay, and found she couldn't quite properly express her gratitude.

"Where's K - " she began, simply out of habit, then stopped herself as memories of her final moments in the arena flooded through her mind and she remembered exactly where Kai was.

Athena had only said the first letter of his name, but Finnick seemed to understand exactly who she was about to mention.

"Athena - " he began gently, no doubt having seen every second of Kai's last moments.

"I don't even know what I was trying to accomplish," she blurted out, cutting him off. "Trying to save him, I mean. I stopped killing in cold blood, but I hadn't tried to save someone so desperately since Marjorie. He was from home, I guess. Maybe that's why. Or I was tired of seeing people die. Having to put more signs up. I felt like I was tending to a graveyard in that arena. Still, it's not like both of us could come out of the arena. It had to be me or him. That's how it is. That's how it always is."

Just then, a portion of the wall slid open and the grey-eyed Avox girl stepped inside, carrying a tray. Seeing her was comforting, another familiar face to help ground her. The Avox looked between her and Finnick, looking curious, but did nothing but place the tray on Athena's thighs and a spoon in her hand. Athena felt like she ought to say something to her, but she wasn't sure what there was to say. In the end, she just gave the girl a small smile, which the Avox returned kindly, before moving back out of the room.

Athena looked down at the tray before her. There was a bowl of clear broth, a small serving of applesauce, and a glass of water. It wasn't much, certainly not what she expected a victor's homecoming meal to be, but it felt like a feast after weeks of living off tiny portions of sometimes stale food and small desert creatures. She had trouble keeping it down; her stomach seemed to have shrunken down over the weeks.

"How long have I been out?" she asked as she ate.

"Two days."

" _Two days?_ " she repeated incredulously. "How strong are those sedatives?"

"They did give you a big dose of something strong," he admitted, sitting cross-legged at the foot of her bed, "but it's not just that. The Games drained you, you were more exhausted than you realized. Happened to me too."

"You've been here for two days?" she asked, suddenly feeling rather guilty. At the very least, it must have been full to sit around and watch her lie unconscious for forty-eight hours.

"Well, don't look like that about it," he raised his eyebrows. "I had food and sleep and bathroom breaks."

"Where'd you sleep?" she said, frowning.

He gestured towards the floor.

"You slept on the ground?"

"For you, yes," he replied. "Awfully romantic, isn't it? Most people would be honoured."

"My knight in shining armour," she said, rolling her eyes and finishing the applesauce. Then she looked at him, a little more serious, and said, "Thank you. It really means a lot after - everything."

He just nodded once, giving her a faint smile. "Any time."

She smiled back at him, before saying, "How long until I leave?"

"Not long, I think, now that you've woken up," Finnick said. "They've cleaned you up and healed your wounds, and I think if there was anything wrong I'd know by now. Doctors kept coming in and out and they all said you were stable."

Athena was pretty sure she had never been less stable, but she just nodded, noticing for the first time that all her wounds and injuries were indeed gone, no pain or soreness remaining. Her skin was like satin, smooth and glowing. The necklace her mother gave her was will on her neck. It was like the Games had never touched her. They had even gotten rid of a few scars and marks that had existed prior to the Games. Athena knew those measures were really only taken so that she would still look pretty for the Capitol, for next would be interviews and banquets and all sorts of appearances for her to make. There were usually a few days between the end of the Games and all of that, used to turn an underfed, battered victor into something presentable again, but if she'd already been out for a few days...

"How long until I have to... do things again?"

"Today," Finnick said, looking at her apologetically. "Your official crowning as victor is tonight. Then there's the interview with Caesar. But there's plenty of time between now and the victory tour. Between then we get to go home."

 _Home._ Athena's heart lifted at the very word. She was going back to District Four. She could go back to her family after all, and they would never have to stress because of all the money she'd get as a victor, and she could hug her sister and see her mother smile and see if there was some sort of permanent cure for her father now that they had the money to pay for it. She could go back to the docks, back to the beach, be in the water again, far, far away from the dry, barren desert. She could see Hudson again and all of the other sailors and fishermen there, see Marie's kind smile and Selene's smirk and God, even Adrian's leer. She wouldn't have to see the sympathetic look in Mayor Isla Trenton's eyes as she picked up her food rations. She wouldn't have to step foot in the academy ever again, and she could see the stunned look on Iris Dunne's face when she arrived back at the district (it was poor compensation for everything she'd been through, but anything that could push her to keep moving forward was something).

"Home," she breathed out, closing her eyes. "Home sounds nice."

"You'll be moving into Victor's Village, though," he said, then added, grinning. "We'll be neighbours! Just when you thought you could get away from me."

"I don't want to get away from you," she blurted out.

It was embarrassing and she wished she hadn't said it (or at least said it better), but it was true. After everything, lift without Finnick and Mags seemed unimaginable. Though she missed the people in her life from before, there were so many things she couldn't imagine doing, so many conversations she couldn't imagine having with them any more. Any of her friends from the academy or some of her old neighbours or Ian the pastry boy - God, especially him - or any of them. She needed Finnick and Mags.

Finnick looked surprised but pleased by her words. "What's this? What happened to the girl who talked about wanting to throw a remote at my head?"

"She's still there," she replied, looking down at the tray. "She just got fond of you for some reason."

Finnick grinned. Athena hadn't really forgotten the way his eyes shone when he smiled or the way it brought out his dimples; rather, she had forgotten how much she liked seeing it happen. She had forgotten the odd but pleasant, warm feeling she got in her stomach. She didn't even notice that his smile gave her that feeling until she had gone so long without it.

"That's good," he said. "I don't want to get away from you, either."

She breathed out a laugh, playing with her spoon idly and smiling. There was probably something wrong with this, with feeling so light after everything that had happened, but it didn't  _feel_ wrong. It was one of the few things that still felt right to her.

"Well, I'm sure you got a play by play of how I've been," Athena said, "what's it been like on this side? I wanna know about you, Mags, Tatiana and Syrio - hell, even Alayne. How disappointed was she when she was that I didn't die in there?"

"Believe it or not, she was thrilled," he said with a grin. "She doesn't hate you nearly as much as we all thought she did."

"Really?" Athena said, raising her eyebrows.

"Really," he confirmed, laughing at the look on her face. "You'll see everyone soon, but we've been holding up alright. Worrying our asses off about you, though. I aged a good fifty years watching you in there."

"Oh, yeah? I can tell," Athena said sarcastically, "it really shows on your face."

"Your sarcasm is all the proof I need that you actually do think I'm good-looking and that you didn't actually mean any of your previous comments," Finnick said with a smug grin.

"Shut up," she said, punching him lightly, though she was grinning.

"See,  _there's_ the Athena I know."

"You sure missed me, huh?" Athena grinned.

Finnick tilted his head, looking at her thoughtfully. "You sound just like me."

"That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me."

Finnick laughed out loud. "You might have a point there, Maris. I'll lay off."

Athena grinned, saying, " _Thank_ _you_."

Just as she said it, the restraining belt suddenly retracted into the side of the bed, freeing her. Athena and Finnick looked at each other in silence for a moment, surprised.

"Look like you're free to go," Finnick said finally.

It was then that Athena noticed that an outfit had already been laid out for her. It was an outfit that made her flinch, tensing up suddenly. It was the outfit the tributes had all been required to wear, though it looked like it had been cleaned and mended extensively. And suddenly, Athena was reeling, feeling as though the Games were still not over, there was some secret part of it she had never been told about, and Finnick had been cruel enough to trick her into believing she was safe; or perhaps Finnick was only a simulation, the apparition of her mentor used to lull her into a false sense of security. But then she regained her sense and realized that it only made sense that this was the outfit she would wear when she greeted the rest of the District Four team.

Finnick saw Athena staring at the outfit and apparently interpreted it as her wanting to get dressed, because he said, "I'll leave you to that, then."

He was quick to jump off the bed and to his feet. Finnick even went so far as to stand in a corner, his back turned to her, and still covering his eyes with his hands. Athena had been uncomfortable with him seeing her naked and still thought the lengths he went to were a little extreme. There was something oddly endearing about it, though.

Athena slipped her legs out of bed, nervous about how they would hold her weight, but she found them strong and steady. When she walked, it was without any sort of limp. She got dressed as quickly as she could, so that she was fully dressed in less than a minute. The outfit, despite how it was designed to be light, suddenly made her feel a hundred pounds heavier. It was clean, but she felt immediately more tainted and dirty than before. She preferred wearing nothing at all.

"I'm decent," she told Finnick matter-of-factly, pulling her hair out from under her clothes (they had even taken care of her hair, she noticed, clearly having detangled and washed and moisturized it thoroughly, so that the curls were now soft and clean and knot-free), allowing it to fall loose around her.

Finnick turned around. "You ready to go out again?"

Athena didn't feel ready to do much of anything, but she knew she had to, so she was about to say yes anyway, when she remembered something, saying, "One second."

Athena fished her hands in the pocket of her cargo jacket, praying that it was still there, that they hadn't gotten rid of it while they were cleaning the outfit. When Athena felt something prick her finger lightly, her heart lifted, her relief enormous. She pulled out the object and stared at the golden pin of the two joined hands.

"Kai's token," Finnick said, approaching her slowly and looking down at it. Athena was about to ask how he knew it was Kai's token when she realized that was a stupid question. Finnick had been Kai's mentor, had even focused on Kai specifically. It wasn't a stretch to think that Kai had showed it to him. Even if he didn't, Finnick must have watched them talk about it on television. Finnick looked from the golden pin to Athena's face, his gaze resting there. "What are you going to do with it?"

"He said his - his girlfriend gave it to him," Athena said. "I'm going to give it back to th - her."

"Do you know who his girlfriend is?" Finnick asked, interested.

"No," Athena admitted, "I didn't know him very well before the Games."

The uncomfortable fact remained that Athena wasn't even sure she knew him very well now, but she said nothing of it.

"Then how are you going to give it back?" Finnick asked.

Athena shrugged. "I know some of the people he hung around with. I'll have to find them and ask them about it. I'll figure it out."

"Yeah," Finnick agreed, with a smile on his face that Athena couldn't quite read. "Yeah, you will."

Athena placed the pin carefully back in her pocket, trying not to think about how it had been pinned carefully on Kai's chest only a few days ago.

"One more thing," she said, looking up at Finnick.

"Okay."

No sooner did the word leave his mouth did Athena fling her arms around him in a tight hug, going up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck.

"Where did this come from - ?" Finnick asked, but he still hugged her back, wrapping his arms around her back tightly.

"Thank you," she murmured in his ear. "For everything."

"I was only doing my job," he replied quietly, as they pulled away, but they still stayed close together.

"You did it well," Athena said, with such open honestly that it seemed to surprise him. "And this - " she gestured around the room, where he had waited for her to wake up for two days - "wasn't part of the job."

She had been fully prepared for Finnick to tease her, but he remained serious. "I'd do it all again. It would all be worth it. Nicely done out there, Wise One."

Athena did not feel anywhere near the same way about her time in the arena, but she still nodded, smiling faintly at him, hoping it was enough to convey her gratitude. He smiled back at her, and now she was as ready as she would get to face reality. Athena and Finnick walked over to the stretch of wall where they knew there was a door, though they could not see it. Athena fidgeted for a moment, about to ask how they were supposed to open it, when it suddenly slid open. Together, Athena and Finnick stepped out into a wide, deserted hall that appeared to have no other doors behind it, though she knew that it must. The first voice Athena heard was one that provoked immediate irritation, but then eagerness. Alayne.

Athena turned in the direction of the voice and found the rest of her team waiting in a chamber at the end of the hall - Mags, Alayne, Tatiana, and Syrio. Athena looked over at Finnick, as though asking if it was safe to go over there or if she was supposed to wait and stay put, if there was some other protocol thing to be done. The sweeping gesture Finnick made was indication enough that it was safe to advance, so Athena moved without hesitation.

She wanted to run over there, wanted to race over to them as fast as she could. She forced herself to hold back, however. She supposed a victor should showcase some sort of restraint, some sort of superiority, especially since she knew this would be on tape. Still, her pace quickened with every step that she took, and before long she was running, anyway. Athena launched herself into Mags' arms first, wrapping her arms around her tightly. Mags, despite looking rather frail, hugged her back tightly and fiercely, in a way that reminded her painfully of her mother.

"Well done..." Mags murmured in her ear, running a hand through her hair gently. "Well... done."

Alayne was teary-eyed as she hugged Athena, patting her hair and saying over and over that she had told everyone that Athena was a diamond in the rough. Athena raised her eyebrows and locked eyes with Finnick, who had caught up with her soon after she reached the team. He was trying very hard not to laugh at her expression, still shaking with silent fits of laughter, and even Athena had to grin, though she hugged Alayne back tightly, more relieved to see her than she had expected to be. Tatiana pulled Athena into a hug, kissing her cheeks, before holding her at arm's length and telling her how proud she was of her. Syrio hugged her last, telling her that she had been a force of nature out in the arena. The only force of nature that she could ascribe to herself was a storm, destroying everything in her path - including herself. She said nothing of it, though.

"Go on with Tatiana and Syrio, Athena," Alayne said, touching her shoulder lightly. "They'll get you ready."

With nothing else to do, Athena nodded and did as she was told. Tatiana and Syrio each hooked their arms through her, leading her away. It reminded her oddly of her Reaping, the way the Peacekeepers marched her into the Justice Building, as though to make sure she did not run away. She still did not know where else she would go. Tatiana and Syrio guided her away from the cameras, down a few passages and to an elevator that lead to the lobby of the Training Center. The hospital must be far underground, beneath even the gym where the tributes, when all twenty-four of them had still been breathing, practiced tying knots and swinging maces, as though that could have saved any of them. The windows of the lobby were darkened, and a handful of guards stood on duty. No one else was there to see them cross to the tribute elevator, their footsteps echoing in the darkness. Athena was glad that the District Four suite wasn't very high up, because as they rode up to their floor, the faces of every tribute that would never return here flashed in her mind and there was a heavy, tight feeling in her chest.

When the elevator doors opened, Hestia, Leto, and Ajax all engulfed her in hugs, talking so quickly and ecstatically that she could barely make out their words, but Athena found it didn't really matter, in the end. The sentiment was crystal clear. Her prep team was truly thrilled to see her, and Athena found she was rather happy to see them, too. She wasn't happy to see them the way she was happy to see Mags or Finnick, though. Seeing her prep team again felt more like seeing a trio of very affectionate, colourful pets after a particularly difficult day.

Athena was swept into the dining room, where she was then given a real meal - roast beef and peas and soft rolls. Her portions were apparently still being strictly controlled, however, because when she asked for seconds, she was refused.

"No, no, no; you wouldn't want it all coming back up on stage later tonight, would you?" said Hestia, but she winks and slipped her an extra roll under the table, as though to let Athena know that she was still on her side.

They went to her chambers next, where Tatiana and Syrio disappeared as the prep team got her ready.

"Oh, they did a full body polish on you, didn't they?" Leto said, envy clear in his voice. "There's not a flaw left on your body!"

But as Athena looked at her naked body in the mirror, she could only see how much weight she had lost. She must have been worse when she first came out of the arena, she thought, but she still hadn't gained all her lost weight back.

Her prep team took care of the shower settings for her, and went to work on her hair, nails, and makeup when she was out of the shower. They talked almost ceaselessly, to the extent that Athena barely had to reply. Athena found she was grateful for it, though, because she found she wasn't in the mood to talk. It was odd, though, because they kept chattering on and on about the Games, but it was all about where they were or what they were doing or how they felt when a specific event occurred.

"I just got out of the shower when you got caught in that explosion, Athena!"

"I was getting all my hair redyed!"

"Oh, I swear, I nearly died right then and there when I saw that!"

Athena was particularly grateful that they didn't give her a space to reply then. She didn't know what she would have done or said, but it would not have been good. Everything they said was all about them. Not a word about the dying children in the arena. In District Four, they talked about the Games for a long time, as well, but not quite in this way. There were celebrations in honour of the Games, excited chatter about it, certainly, but never anything like  _this_ , because even in District Four, when being a tribute was considered a great honour, the reality still was that any one of them could have been or could be a tribute some day. The Capitol, however, was entirely detached from this reality. Athena didn't want to have to hate her prep team, though, so she just tuned out everything they said as best as she can. When they wanted her to reply, she only hummed or nodded or said "Yes," even though she barely heard what they were saying.

Around halfway through preparation, when they had finished her hair and were working on her nails, there was a knock on the door. Athena expected it to be Tatiana and Syrio, so she made no move to cover herself as Ajax went over to answer the door. When she heard Mags' voice, however, followed by Finnick's, she let out a yelp, reaching over to snatch the silk robe and throw it on, to the dismay of Leto and Hestia, who had lost their hold on her hands. Mags and Finnick came into view just as Athena was tying the strings of her robe together hastily. Both her mentors seemed to realize that she had just been naked, considering Finnick looked a little embarrassed. Athena still found herself a little surprised by his reactions.

"We're going to have to borrow Athena for a bit," Finnick said, nodding over at her.

Athena was surprised. Her prep team looked the same way, and a little dismayed.

"Wh - for what?" Ajax said.

"Can't it wait?" Leti said. "We only have so much time with her - "

"Won't be for... long," Mags said firmly. "Already... talked to Tatiana and Syrio... said they're... fine with it... pretty girl as she is... doesn't need much work."

Athena was flattered by the comment, but the sentiment was still overpowered by her confusion.

"Well," Hestia said slowly, "if Tatiana and Syrio said it was fine..."

Everyone looked over at Athena expectantly. She was silent for a moment, before saying hesitantly, "Can I at least - uh - put some clothes on first?"

Mags and even Finnick smiled, despite his slight embarrassment, and he said, "I thought that was perfectly appropriate casual clothing."

"You're funny," Athena said in a flat voice, and he laughed.

Finnick and Mags moved out of the room, and Athena moved over to her closet, pulling on a pair of black pants, and a soft, white shirt. It still felt too exposed, she felt too cold, as though not quite used to being outside of the desert heat, so she threw on a black fleece sweater on top, zipping it up high. Athena was careful not to mess up her hair. Her prep team gave her approving looks. Athena nodded at them once and walked back out of her chambers. Mags and Finnick were waiting for her outside.

"What is this?" Athena asked, as they immediately began to walk, her mentors leading the way, flanked on either side of her.

"We pulled some more strings," Finnick said in reply. "You get one call home. Whoever you want to call. You get to talk to them before - before everything, I guess."

Athena's heart lifted, but despite everything, she was immediately thinking that it was a trick, or that perhaps there was a catch to it. "What? I can just - ?"

"You tell... Peacekeepers who you want... talk to... they'll pass the message along to... people who... hook up the messages... a message will be sent to Mayor Trenton... send for the people you want to speak to... bring them to the Justice Building... where you can talk to them," Mags explained, as they entered the elevator.

"Long story short, it's an extensive process," Finnick said. "Which is why we can only do this in a specific time frame. You won't get to talk to them for very long, either. You get five minutes."

"That's fine," Athena said immediately. "Anything is fine. Seriously. Thank you both so much."

"You're welcome," Mags said with a smile, patting her hand lightly.

"It was no trouble," Finnick said with a shrug, but Athena got the distinct trouble that making this call happen had been a great deal of trouble.

The elevator took them to the lobby of the Training Center, where they then crossed the nearly deserted lobby to the elevator that had led her from the hospital to the lobby. They went all the way back down, past the gymnasium, even past the hospital. Going so far underground made her uneasy, made her feel like she was being trapped as far away from freedom as they could get her, but she tried to hide it as best as she could. When the elevator finally stopped and opened up, they were in a long, dark hallway. This hallway also didn't appear to have any doors, though she knew there was no way it didn't. Finnick and Mags led her down to the very end of the hallway, that appeared to be a dead end. As they approached the dark wall, however, it slid open to reveal another room, confirming Athena's suspicions that there were hidden doors among these walls.

The room was all a dark grey, with nothing but a metal table, a chair, and a screen. Two Peacekeepers stood at attention in the room, clearly waiting for them. When they walked in, they seemed to focus direction on Athena. She tensed up immediately; Peacekeepers were always rougher with her than they were with others, more likely to frisk her or to look at her like she was trouble. The same went for her family and others that shared her features. That, combined with the fact that she knew just how much damage Peacekeepers could cause, always made her uneasy around them. They made no move to harm her in any way, though. She remembered suddenly she was a victor; they had no reason to suspect anything negative of her now.

"Sit down," one of the Peacekeepers said, gesturing at the chair.

She shot Mags and Finnick uncertain looks. When they nodded at her encouragingly, she moved to sit down on the metal chair, bringing her fleece sweater more tightly about herself. Finnick and Mags stood on either side of where the door was, facing her.

"Who would you like to make your call to?" said the second Peacekeeper.

"My family," Athena said immediately, for those were the people who she truly craved to see, whose voices she wanted to hear more than anything else.

The Peacekeepers nodded once and began to move away. Athena realized suddenly that she didn't give them any specific names. How were they going to pass along the message without any names? She spoke up at their retreating figures, hoping they would listen.

"Douglas Maris - that's my father. Marella Maris is my mother. Calypso Maris is my sister. Please, just - anyone of them you can get -  _please_ ," Athena called after them desperately.

The Peacekeepers did not respond at all, however, continuing to walk away. They passed between Mags and Finnick and left the room without a word. Athena glanced over at them hesitantly in the silence that followed, unsure if the Peacekeepers would deliver her requests or if they had just ignored her completely.

"I'm sure you've noticed by now that they don't talk much," Finnick said with a roll of his eyes. "For dramatic effect, I'm sure."

Athena cracked a smile.

There was nothing to do but wait and see if the Peacekeepers had listened, so that was what they all did, waiting in silence. She knew it was a little unreasonably, but she found herself getting anxious when five, ten minutes passed by and there was still nothing. She needed to be rational, she reminded herself. It would probably take some time to find one or more of her family members and bring them to the Justice Building, even if they were all at home. There was also the time it would take to set up the call. It was an extensive process, that was all.

Still, relief flooded through her when, after another fifteen minutes, the two Peacekeepers came back into the room. They moved to stand on either side of her, a few feet behind her. She felt uncomfortable having her back to them, but she knew there was nothing she could do anything about it without causing trouble.

"You have five minutes."

No sooner did the words come out of one of the Peacekeeper's mouth did the screen in front of her flicker to life. Athena's eyes snapped to the screen, and just like that, her heart was swelling, lifting in the air. Just for a moment, it was like it had never been weighed down. Marella Maris was on the other end of the screen, watching her with just as much rapt attention as Athena was watching her. She was wearing a light blue blouse, and seemed to be in the same room that Athena had been conduction into after she was Reaped. Athena drank in every detail of her mother, examining her almost hungrily. Nothing big about her had really seemed to change. She had the same dark curly hair, the same big brown eyes, the same cheekbones and mouth and nose and dimple beneath her chin and everything. She was still her mother. She did look more tired, more worn out, Athena supposed, though was not very surprising, and Athena thought she could guess why. Athena had always taken after her mother the most, and she supposed she still did. Her appearance didn't change that much in the arena. It still felt like there was still some grand difference between the two of them, something that showed in their appearances, something that could never be reversed.

"Mom," Athena said weakly after a pause, when she had finished taking in every detail of her mother. "Hi."

"Hi," her mother said, then brought a hand to her mouth, her eyes wet with tears. "Oh, Athena, it's so nice to see you..."

"It's nice to see you, too, Mom," Athena said immediately, hoping she knew she meant it fully. Athena was standing up straighter than she had been moments ago, sitting on the edge of her seat, hanging onto her mother's every word. She brought a hand to the blue spinel pendant and said, "I wore the necklace. I wore it the whole time, I never took it off unless I had to - or, well, I guess you saw... it reminded me of you. You and Dad and Calypso. It kept me going."

Her mother gave her a water smile, saying, "I'm so glad, Athena. How are you? How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Athena said, which was almost entirely a lie; she was fine physically, but in every other sense, she had never been less fine. That was the last thing she wanted to tell her mother, though, so instead she said, "They took really good care of all my injuries. Never mind me, though, you've probably seen everything that I've been doing the last few weeks. What about you, how are you? How have you been?"

"Oh, I'm fine," her mother said immediately. "We've been working really hard whenever we could, trying to get by without you. Mayor Trenton gave the food rations to Calypso every month, just like you said she would. You were right about Hudson, too. She gave us work whenever she could and showed us the ropes. I think sailing will always be more your thing than ours; your father and I didn't like it very much, but it got us by."

For once, Athena didn't care enough to be embarrassed that others were hearing about how little money her family had; she was too focused on her mother. She made a mental note to thank both Mayor Trenton and Hudson for what they had done for her family.

"That's good. We don't have to worry about any of that anymore, though," Athena said with a faint smile. "I've got enough money to support us for the rest of our lives now. We don't have to worry anymore. You won't even have to work again, Mom! You or Dad don't have to worry about that. You can both rest now. Even Calypso probably won't - when she's older, I mean. I've got enough for all of us."

"That's great, Thena," her mother said gently, though she didn't look very excited. "We were mostly just worried about you this whole time. It really is so nice to see you again, so nice to hear your voice. It's such a relief."

"I know the feeling," Athena said faintly, and her mother gave a small smile.

"Yes, I guess you would."

"How's Calypso?" Athena asked, eager to know more, to know everything she had missed in these few weeks. "Has she been holding up alright?"

"Yes, she's been really brave," her mother replied.

Athena smiled wider. "Yeah, that sounds like Calypso. How has school been for her?"

"She's gone almost every day," her mother replied. "She's in school right now, otherwise she would be here. The only day she didn't was after you got in that explosion and... and we all thought you were dying," her voice broke a little as she said it. Guilt rushed through Athena then; she must have worried them sick, she realized. "She went back as soon as she realized you were alive, though. It's been hard for her, though. She was so worried about you, you know, and it didn't help that they have to study the Games as they happen. She had to point out any mistakes you made, had to listen to other kids do it. And there were people who kept betting on your odds in there."

Athena nodded once, grimly. She wasn't surprised by this. It was a regular thing for students at the academy to bet on each of the tributes' odds on winning the Games. It was even an assignment to go up in front of the class and explain which tributes they believed had the best and worst chance of winning and why. Athena could only imagine the things students had said about her (her mind went to Iris Dunne in spite of herself), and how it must have been for Calypso to have to hear it.

"She never stopped believing in you, though, not fro a second," her mother continued. "She was always so sure it would be you."

Athena smiled faintly, before saying, "And how about Dad? How has he been?"

Her mother said nothing, simply staring at Athena with big, dark eyes. Athena frowned a little, unsettled by this.

"Mom? What is it?" Athena said, staring at her mother's face, trying to find what she was not saying. "Where's Dad? Is he at work or something?"

Her mother still said nothing. Athena was getting more and more worried, the familiar feeling of dread settling its way into her stomach, building its way up to her chest. The only time she could remember her mother looking so grave was after Athena had been Reaped.

"Mom, you're scaring me," she said slowly. "What is it? Is it his health? Has he been getting worse? Is he in the hospital or something? Look, I'm sure I can afford to find some sort of cure for him now. They've got all sorts of stuff in the Capitol, they've got all this advanced medicine, I'm sure there's something - "

Athena stopped dead when she saw the tears pooling in her mother's eyes, falling down her face. Her mother was quick to wipe them all away, but it was too late. Athena had already seen them. Before, Marella Maris' tears had been those of joy to see her daughter. These were an entirely different sort of tears. Tears of grief.

"Mom?" Athena said, her heart pounding so hard she wondered if anyone else could hear it. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Her mother still said nothing.

"Mom, please, just tell me."

Still nothing.

"Mom,  _please_."

Still, her mother did not say anything. It seemed as though, whatever it was that she was thinking, she could not bear to say it out loud. Athena was leaning forward towards the screen, her fingers gripping the edge of the cold metal table. Athena was thinking her mother still wasn't going to talk and was going to ask again, when at last, she did.

"Oh, Athena," she said finally, as though every word brought her great pain, "you don't understand... you can't understand how it felt to watch you in that arena everyday. Of course, we can't understand what it was like to be in there, but having to watch you do it without being able to do anything... it was torture."

Athena listened, staring at her mother and frowning. Athena felt guilty about the worry she had put them through for the past few weeks, but she still didn't understand what it had to do with her father, his whereabouts, or his well being. Still, she didn't say anything, letting her mother speak.

"When you were in that explosion... the hours after that were the worst of all," her mother continued. "We had no idea what would happen. You could have been dead or dying, for all we knew. We could hardly sleep, but we did it in shifts. We tried to send Calypso to bed, but she wouldn't move, so she stayed there the whole night, watching the television for any signs that you were okay. Your father insisted that I slept first, so I did, and woke up a few hours to switch with him. He was sicker than usual, so I told him to rest and I'd wake him up as soon as something happened. So when you woke up and started moving, I ran to wake your father up, but he... but he... oh, Athena, you didn't see him," her mother was shaking her head, and the tears were in her eyes again, falling down her face, and a part of Athena understood where her mother was headed, but she reused to believe it, refused to accept it. "The thought that you had died destroyed him, and he had gotten so much worse over the weeks, he was so much weaker... his body just... just couldn't handle it all. His heart gave out while he was asleep. He died that night."

And Athena had been expecting it, probably for even longer than she had initially realized, but it was still a blow that hit harder than any of the ones she took in the arena, including that damn explosion. Athena's entire body froze, her heart stopped momentarily. The room became deadly silent, everything becoming still, but it felt like the room was spinning around and around, too quickly for her to hold on to anything at all. Athena stared ahead blankly at her mother, but she could hardly see her anymore.

"I must have stayed there by his side for so long, trying to get him to wake up," her mother was saying, shaking her head, but her voice sounded distant in Athena's head. "But he wouldn't move. He just lied there. And then Calypso came up and saw... and he was dead. He was dead."

Athena said nothing. She wasn't sure if she could still speak. She thought about her father, how he had been right before she had left for the Capitol. He had seemed faint, weak, and terrified, certainly, but still very much alive, nonetheless. She had taken it for granted, considering his health. She had never doubted, not in all this time, not for a second, that if she were to come back home, her father would be there waiting for her with her mother and her sister. She didn't want to believe it. She wanted to believe that it was all a lie, that her father really was alive and this was all some cruel trick, or that he would magically recover and be up on his feet, right on time for her arrival back at District Four. But the grief-stricken, anguished expression on her mother's face told her that neither option was possible.

Her father was dead. He was dead. He was dead, dead, dead, and Athena never even got a chance to say goodbye. She had been robbed of a proper goodbye, whisked away to be dropped off in that desolate, barren desert, only to be caught in that explosion that would result in the death of her father, of all people, and not her...

"Athena," her mother said slowly, "I know what you're thinking, and I know why, but you have to know - this isn't your fault. None of this is on you, Athena, I promise - "

But Athena was not listening. Either way, however, she would not be able to shake the feeling that her father's death was her fault. She had applied for Tesserae, resulting in the four extra ballots that were likely the reason she even got Reaped; she had got caught in that explosion, for no reason other than the fact that she had been reckless enough to not make sure that the house was safe to enter, and that extra pain and worry mixed with his already failing health had killed her father. He was dead because of what she had done.

Athena's heart seemed to start up again, pounding so fast that it could burst, and she didn't understand how her heart could fit in the rapidly shrinking cage that was her chest. Her head was pounding, and Athena wanted to put her head in her hands and try to get it all to stop, but she couldn't seem to move, still clutching onto the edge of the metal table, suddenly too cold under her fingers. The room was still spinning, even faster than before, and it made Athena nauseous. Her stomach was turning unpleasantly, and she was liable to throw up at any moment. She felt tears stinging her eyes, but she blinked them away. She could not cry. Not now. Not here. She saw a flurry of movement out of the corner of her eye. Finnick seemed to have made to move toward her, but Mags grabbed onto him suddenly to stop him, murmuring something to Finnick that made him stand still again. Their eyes were trained on her, though, expressions of concern on their faces. Athena didn't know what Mags had said, but she found she couldn't bring herself to care.

Athena still couldn't remember how to speak, but her mother was still trying to soothe her guilt, and she could not stand to hear anyone try to tell her that it was not her fault, that she should not feel guilty, so she forced herself to remember how to form words in her mouth.

"The funeral," she said shortly, unable to look at her mother anymore. She looked down at the grey table. "Has anyone taken care of the funeral?"

"No," her mother said, looking a little sheepish.

"I'll do it," Athena said immediately. "I'll take care of it. As soon as I'm home, that's what I'll do."

"Oh, Athena, you don't have to - " her mother began.

"I want to," she said shortly. "I'll handle everything, I'll plan it out and pay for everything. I've got the time and money now, so..."

She trailed off, unsure of what else there was to say. Her mother didn't look like she liked the idea very much, but also seemed to know that Athena would insist on it, so she nodded slowly. Athena jumped at the voice of one of the Peacekeepers behind her, cold and indifferent.

"You have one more minute."

They had already taken her away from her father, they couldn't do the same to her mother now... but she knew that they could and they would, so she looked back up at her mother, suddenly desperate to look at her and talk to her for as long as she could.

"How have you and Calypso been holding up since then?" Athena asked.

"It's... it's been hard," her mother replied, with a heavy sigh that somehow made Athena feel even worse. "But we've been getting by as best as we can. It helps that we know you're safe now. And like I said, Calypso's been so brave and so strong this whole time. It's helped me more than I can say."

 _But she's so young,_ Athena thought, reeling, starting to feel like she couldn't handle much more. She was certain that at any moment, she would burst from feeling so much pain, so much grief at once.  _She's too young to have to be so brave and strong._

"You have thirty seconds."

Athena turned to look over at the Peacekeepers, saying desperately, "Please - can't I just have another minute? Please, just one more minute, that's all I ask - "

"You have thirty seconds."

"Please - even just another thirty seconds - I just want a little more time, that's all - please -  _please_ \- "

"You have thirty seconds."

There was no reasoning, no bargaining with them. It was only wasting what little time she and her mother had left together. Athena turned back to her mother, who had evidently heard the limited time they had left. She looked like she was crestfallen but trying her best to hide it; Athena still saw right through it, though. Neither of them knew what there was left to say, especially in these conditions, especially with such little time left.

"I'll be back soon," Athena said, though her mother must have already known that. "I'll be home soon."

Her mother nodded. "We'll be waiting for you here. I love you, Athena."

Athena opened her mouth immediately to return it, but just as she did, the Peacekeeper said, "Your time is up."

And Athena was already preparing to beg for just ten more seconds, but before she could get a word in, before she could even take a breath, the screen went black and her mother was gone.


	19. XIX

**XIX**

 

"We can get you five minutes."

Athena was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of Finnick's voice. A part of her thought that this was probably a good thing, since her thoughts were full of grief and dread and heaviness that spread throughout her entire body, leaving room for nothing else. She thought she would drown in it. Athena, Mags, and Finnick were all walking back to the District Four floor. Her mentors were leading the way there, flanking her and touching her back lightly, and this time she was glad for it. Without their help, she thought she might collapse from the weight of her grief and never be able to pick herself back up again.

"Once we're back in the suite, we can distract Alayne and the stylists long enough to give you five minutes on your own - maybe ten - but that's a big maybe," Finnick was saying. "That'll probably be all the time we can get you, though. You still have to be ready for your crowning tonight."

Finnick sounded apologetic, but Athena had not been expecting any time on her own at all. She was grateful she was getting anything at all.

"Thank you," Athena said weakly as they entered the elevator to the District Four floor, but it did not feel strong enough to express her gratitude. Her mentors seemed to understand perfectly, though, nodding once.

The moment the elevator stopped and the three of them stepped out into the District Four suite, her prep team and her stylists were immediately rushing forward.

"Oh, you've been so long!"

"We've lost so much time!"

"We need to set to work straight away!"

The sound of their high-pitched voices, their Capitol accents, did not help with how overwhelmed she already felt. Athena thought there was no way Mags and Finnick would be able to distract her prep team and her stylists at all, let alone for five full minutes, but Finnick simply took a step forward casually, holding out his hands to stop them.

"Now, now, how about we all settle down?" he said. "Don't you think a victor deserves some time to herself after a very hard earned victory?"

"Well," Tatiana said slowly, "yes, of course, but we don't have unlimited time here, Finnick, you should know this - "

"Well, Mags said it best herself," Finnick said calmly, "a girl that looks like Maris here does doesn't need much work."

"Besides," Mags said, enunciating carefully, "if needed... me and Finnick... can look bad enough... distract from Athena."

Mags finished the sentence by ruffling Finnick's hair fondly. The stylists and her prep team burst into laughter. Even Athena almost cracked a smile, despite it all. Finnick was laughing good-naturedly at the comment, but he still locked eyes with Athena and jerked his head in the direction of her chambers. She got the message immediately; she could slip away, undetected, while everyone was too busy laughing at Mags' joke. Athena tiptoed around the group, moving silently. When she slipped into her chambers, nobody seemed to notice that she was gone at all, save for Mags and Finnick.

Athena stumbled over to her bed, collapsing to sit down at the foot of it. She buried her head in her hands, rubbing her pounding temples with her fingers. Her body was shaking uncontrollably, and it got harder and harder to breathe with every breath that she took. The room seemed to be too small to hold her, feeling like the walls were closing in on her. And her body felt too small to contain everything that she had been through, everything that she was forced to carry.

It was not fair. She had done everything she did, she kept herself moving when all she wanted to do was lie down and let death come for her, all to be able to come back to her family when it was all over. That was the reason she had fought and struggled as hard as she had. And now she had done it, she had forced the odds to be in her favour, had forced herself through injury and pain and grief, and her father was dead. He was dead and gone because of his failing health and the fact that she had worried him to death. He had died before she could come home, before she could help him find a permanent cure with her new resources... and her mother and sister, forced to carry the burden that was their grief on their own, because she had been in the arena... it was not fair.

After five minutes of this, when her body had only just barely stopped shaking, the door to her chambers burst open, and Athena brought her head up from her hands just as her prep team all strode into her chambers in a flurry of colour and noise. Who had she been kidding, five minutes was not enough, it was never enough, she should have learned that from her call with her mother. She was relieved that she hadn't cried, though. The last thing she wanted was to have to explain her tears to her prep team.

"There you are!" Ajax said breathlessly. "We were wondering where you had disappeared off to!"

"It's always nice when someone's eager to get back to work," Leto said cheerfully, patting Athena on the shoulder. "The sign of a true victor."

Athena forced a smile.

"Where did Finnick and Mags even take you, anyway?" Hestia said curiously. "You were gone an awful long time..."

"That's between us," Athena said, then forced herself to put on a playfully mysterious tone, saying, "Victor's honour."

They all giggled at the comment, seeming to forget any curiosity that might have burned at them before. They then set back to work, refocusing on her nails. When they were finished, they set to work on her makeup. Once they were finished, Tatiana and Syrio soon came into the room, as though having sensed that it was time to dress her. Syrio was carrying a dress so faintly blue it was almost white. Athena raised her eyebrows.

"You guys are abandoning the whole ocean theme?" she asked.

"See for yourself," Tatiana said with a wink.

When the dress slid over her naked body, Athena noted that this dress wasn't very tight. They were probably careful to avoid designing the dress so that it clung to her curves, considering it would highlight how much weight she had lost. She had months between now and the Victory Tour to regain that weight; but for now, they needed to find some sort of way to make her look soft and beautiful, not tainted and town apart by the arena, the way she really was. The dress hung from her loosely, falling to her ankles, and she realized that the flowing material that the dress was made of was intended to resemble ocean foam. Her makeup wasn't very heavy. Mostly, they covered the dark circles under her eyes; they had always been really visible, but in the past few weeks, they stood out more than ever. They also painted her lips a light pink, lined her eyes with silver, and painted her eyelids a blue just slightly darker than that of her dress. Her nails were painted a light blue, but also made to resemble ocean foam. They hadn't done much with her hair besides style it so that her curls were even more pronounced than usual. They put her in white high heels, though the heels weren't nearly as high as they had been during her first interview. The look was much more subtle than those during the opening ceremonies and the interviews, which was a little surprising, since the Capitol seemed to thrive off the lurid and the garish.

"What do you think?" Tatiana asked, seeming like she really wanted to know.

"It's beautiful," Athena said, forcing herself to smile, but that was not what she was thinking. From the reflection in the mirror, Athena could see not only herself, but Tatiana, Syrio, Ajax, Leto, and Hestia. As she stared at them, she was thinking that these were the people who forced her into that arena to entertain them, who forced her away from her father. Had it not been for them, for the Capitol and their wicked Games, her father would still be alive and she would be with them. She thought about this, as she stared at her stylists and her prep team, and found that she hated them all. She wanted to never see them, to never have to be seen by them, to never be touched by any of them ever again.

"I'm glad you think so," Tatiana said with a smile, bringing herself out of her thoughts. None of them seemed to sense what she was really thinking. Athena found she wasn't very surprised.

Once they had reunited with Mags and Finnick, they all headed for the elevators. Finnick and Mags, she noticed, were dressed in light blues that, though they did not match (their shades of blue were too dark), complimented what she wore. They might have been under strict orders in terms of what they wore to make them look more like a team. Tatiana and Syrio might have even designed their outfits.

Their destination was the floor in which all the tributes had trained. It was customary for the victor and their support team to rise up from beneath the stage. First the prep team, then the escort, then the stylists, the mentors, and finally, the victor. Athena found herself in a dimly lit area beneath the stage, standing on her metal place. Soon, Tatiana, Syrio, and her prep team all left to put on their own outfits for the occasion. Athena let out a deep breath, glad they were gone.

The rumbling of the crowd was loud, so that Athena did not notice Finnick approaching her until he was right beside her. Athena jumped, already about to spring away, until she remembered she was out of the arena.

"Sorry," Finnick said, evidently noticing he had startled her, holding his hands up as though to show her he had no intention to attack. "Was just coming to check up on you. Are you nervous?"

Athena had to think about it for a moment. Had this been the opening ceremonies or her interview, she would have been able to tell him yes without a moment of thought. Today was different. During her opening ceremonies and her interview, she had been nervous because she knew she had to win over the favour of the Capitol to win the Games and survive. She had already won. She still couldn't make the Capitol hate her, but there was still less pressure now. And it was hard to force herself to care about anyone in that audience when the death of her father was still weighing heavily on her mind. But she knew she had to care. She knew she had to do whatever she could to keep them happy and entertained. It was her role as a victor now. She could never really be free of them.

"A little, I guess," Athena replied. "Today's the easy day, though, right? I don't really even have to say anything. I just have to sit there and laugh and smile for the camera and try not to throw up, which... isn't easy, but it's nothing new."

"That's true," Finnick conceded, paused, then said, "How are you feeling?"

"Didn't you pretty much just ask me that?" Athena said, not wanting to acknowledge what he actually meant.

"You know what I mean, Athena," Finnick said, not unkindly.

Athena paused for a moment, then sighed. She was about to respond, when suddenly Panem's anthem began to boom from above. The show was starting. Finnick swore profusely, looking frustration, before racing over to his metal plate, just as Caesar Flickerman began greeting the audience. In different circumstances, Athena would have laughed. Now, she simply stared ahead of her, as the damp, moldy smell of the room threatened to suffocate her, waiting for the moment she would be brought up to the stage.

The crowd broke into applause, signifying that Ajax, Leto, and Hestia were on the stage now. Athena imagined them beaming around at the entire audience, waving and all but jumping up and down from excitement. The thought made it hard for her to keep hating them. Alayne was next, bringing about more applause. Athena imagined Alayne thought of it as her night just as much as anyone else's, but she found she couldn't resent her for it; someone, at least, ought to enjoy this. Tatiana and Syrio were next, and they received huge cheers, and not for no reason; they were dazzling all throughout these Games. The appearance of Mags and Finnick brought about cheering, chanting, clapping, and stomping that lasted far longer than the reaction to any of the others. Athena counted just under seven full minutes.

It felt too soon when the metal plate began lifting her up to the stage. She did not want to face the Capitol, face this audience eager to see how she had been prettied up. She had no choice, and her time to prepare was running out, so she forced a wide smile on her face as she rose to the stage. Blinding lights was the first thing she noted. The roar from the crowd was deafening, rattling the metal underneath her feet. On an impulse, Athena brought her hands to her chest, feigning shock that the audience was really all there and cheering for her. The crowd went wild for the humble gesture, cheering even louder. Forcing herself to smile wider and look honoured by their reaction, Athena began waving to the crowd, walking over to the ornate victor's chair. It was from that chair that the winning tribute was to watch a film of the highlights of the Games.

Caesar made a few more jokes, but then it was time for the show, which would last precisely three hours and was required viewing for everyone in Panem. And it was only as the lights dimmed and Panem's seal appeared on the screen that it truly registered in Athena's mind that she was unprepared for this. She did not want to watch her twenty-three fellow tributes die. It was enough to watch as many as she had seen die the first time. Her heart started pounding in her chest and she had the strong impulse to run away, but she knew she could not. She had no choice but to face this. During the highlights, they would periodically show the winner's reaction up on a box in the corner of the screen. From Athena's memory, some would look triumphant, pumping their fists in the air, beating their chest. Most of them would just look stunned. Athena did not think she would be able to manage to do the former convincingly, but she also did not want to look completely stunned and caught off guard. She would have to try to keep her face as neutral as possible, even try to keep up the haughty expression that always worked for her.

Condensing several weeks into exactly three hours was quite a feat, especially considering how many cameras they had going at once. Whoever put together the highlights had to choose the sort of story they wanted to tell. This year, they told a story of a long, difficult road from struggle to triumph. It wasn't anything new, but it always got a good reaction from the Capitol; why fix what wasn't broken? Athena knew she had won, but she still felt as though a disproportionate amount of time was spent on her, from beginning to end. The only thing Athena liked about it was that it meant there wasn't as much time to linger over the deaths.

The first half hour or so of the highlights focused on the pre-arena events; the Reaping, the chariot ride through the Capitol, the training scores, the interview. There was an odd sort of upbeat soundtrack playing under the footage, which made everything even more awful, since almost everyone on screen was dead.

Once the Games actually began, there was a detailed coverage of the bloodbath, including when she killed Burton Angora. She barely recognized herself. From there, the filmmakers essentially alternated between shots of tributes dying and shots of her. Athena noticed they cut out most of the shots that made her look like the scared girl that she had been in that arena. Even when she was killing, they strategically only used shots that made her look more like a strong, enduring warrior more than anything else. The first time they showed her as anything else was as they showed the developing friendship between her, Rowan, and Cara. They showed their friendship, the times when they laughed together, when they took down Angus Keld, Cane Thorn, Will Pinegrove, and Dayta Fuse together (they somehow made it look like a fun outing between friends), and then Rowan and Cara's death... the way Athena had wept and held them while they died...

After that was the explosion. From there, as they showed her slow recovery, they went back to making her look like a soldier, one who would not give up until her mission was completed. This continued until they showed her alliance with Marjorie, until they showed Marjorie's death, how Athena held her and tried to comfort her as best as she could. She went back to being a soldier until they showed her reunion with Kai. She dreaded that moment, because the end was coming soon. They showed Dayta Fuse and Willow Till killing each other, but skipped the part where Kai tried to kill Athena, going straight to the part where they were being chased by the black wave. She supposed they didn't want to show Athena refusing to kill, since it went against the entire point of the Games. Then came Kai's death, the way the darkness swallowed him whole, the way his body had been ruined by that black substance.

The filmmakers ended with the announcement of her victory, which she had expected. The entire time, while she watched, Athena felt horrified and grief-stricken at being forced to watch the things she had already done and experienced firsthand, but she also felt oddly numb the whole time. Almost as if she was watching people she had never met before, complete strangers in another Hunger Games. All the same, though, it did not go unnoticed by Athena that they omitted every part where she put up signs in honour of the dead tributes. She supposed turning those lost lives into anything but toys to play with smacked of rebellion too much to include it.

Now that the highlights were finished, Athena could see the ranking of the tributes, with her at first place. This was always once of the worst parts of the Games to her, the fact that they ranked the tributes afterwards. The victors in first place, the last tribute to die in second place, and so on, until the very first tribute to die was placed in twenty-fourth place. The whole thing made her want to scream. What did it matter? What did it matter what place they were in? They were all dead anyways. Everyone who had gone into that arena was dead, all except for her. Twenty-four children, and she was all that was left. Why add insult to it by ranking them as though this was all their lives were worth?

The answer to that was very simple, though. It was because to the Capitol, it  _was_ all their lives were worth. To the Capitol, this was all the lives of people in the districts were worth. Their entertainment and their comfort and nothing else. Even the Career Districts, for all the boasting they did about being more favoured than other districts, they were still worth nothing to the Capitol. The Career Districts got so comfortable, so arrogant, thinking that their lives were worth something to the Capitol because they won the Games more often and half the population wasn't left to starve, but they still meant nothing. They could all choke to death and the Capitol wouldn't bat an eye.

The anthem was playing again, and everyone rose as President Snow himself took the stage, followed by a little girl carrying the cushion that held the crown. Snow picked it up carefully, before placing it around Athena's brow with a smile. Athena was face-to-face with the president of Panem for the first time in her life, and when she was there, she could not think of what she was supposed to do, so she just widened her smile a little more and bowed her head modestly. Athena decided that the small smile on his face was approving. His eyes were inches from hers, and she could not read them at all. She only hoped that she was as unreadable to him as he was to her.

More bowing and cheering followed. Athena's arm felt like it was seconds from falling off when Caesar Flickerman finally bid the audience goodnight, reminding them to tune in tomorrow for the final interviews. It was a rather useless gesture, Athena thought, since they didn't really have a choice.

Athena was whisked away almost immediately after to the president's mansion for the Victory Banquet. She had very little time to eat, since the Capitol officials and particularly generous sponsors were elbowing one another out of the way to try and get a picture with her. Face after beaming face flashed by, becoming more and more intoxicated as the evening wore on; Athena would have given almost anything to get away, but she forced herself to stay, keeping her practiced, winning smile plastered on her face. Occasionally, she caught a glimpse of Mags and Finnick, who seemed to be watching out for her in case anything went even slightly wrong, which reassured her. Other times, she caught a glimpse of President Snow, which terrified her. Athena only kept on laughing and smiling and thanking people as her picture was taken over and over and over again. The entire night, Athena tried to remember how to breathe properly.

The sun was just peeking over the horizon when they finally straggled back to the fourth floor of the Training Center. Athena was ordered off to bed, reminded sternly that she was on air for her interview at two, and she gave no protest whatsoever, trudging towards her chambers. She changed out of her dress and collapsed onto her bed. Athena felt drained all over again, and yet she could not sleep. She tossed and turned restlessly, but sleep would not come to her. The bed felt too soft, she thought, after weeks of sleeping on uncomfortable sofas and hard floors. It felt like she would sink right into it and never be able to come back up, the way Kai sunk into that dark substance and never resurfaced.

Athena thought suddenly of her father. She imagined her mother hurrying up the stairs to wake him up and inform him that their daughter wasn't dead at all; she saw her mother shaking him away desperately, but he remained still; she saw her cry out his name over and over, saw Calypso stare at her dead father's figure, saw them realize what had happened, realize that he was dead. She tried to imagine her always fidgeting father completely still, without a breath or a heartbeat. She thought of the funeral that she would have to organize as soon as she returned home. She thought of all the dead tributes in the arena who would not have a proper burial.

Athena wept her way into an uneasy sleep.

In her dreams, she was in the arena again, living out the weeks in the Games as the highlights had portrayed them. She went from a soldier, to a kind friend and ally, and back again in a moment's notice. The whole time, however, Athena felt like she was being forced in a body that was not hers. She tried desperately to break out of it, screaming for someone to help her, but nobody seemed to hear her, not even the allies who stood at her side. Things changed when she reached the very end of her Games, though, when it was just her, Kai, and a Willow Till who hadn't been stabbed by Dayta Fuse. Kai shot one of his arrows at Willow, hitting her directly where her heart was, causing her to fall to the floor, the canon sounding above. Athena watched Willow die in horror, before turning back to Kai. When she looked over at Kai, he was suddenly holding a Peacekeeper's gun instead of his bow and arrows. He aimed it directly at her face and pulled the trigger.

Athena bolted upright in bed when the canon signifying her own death sounded. She had already reached out for her spear when she realized she was still in her chambers in the Training Center, not in the arena again. Athena let out a breath, forcing her rapidly beating heart to slow down. There was more banging, making her realize it was coming from her door. Confused and a little annoyed, she got to her feet and was about to walk over to open the door, when she thought better of it. She walked over to the bathroom first, washed the dried tears she knew were still on her face, and then walked over to the door of her chambers, opening it.

"There you are, Maris," said Finnick, who was leaning against the doorframe and grinning lazily, as though this happened everyday. "I've been waiting."

"What are you doing here?" she asked in greeting.

"Wanted to see you," he said, and she noticed a definite slur in his voice. It was then that she took in his appearance; his clothes were rumpled, his hair dishevelled, his eyes slightly bleary. She also noted the scent of alcohol, seeming to hang from him.

"Finnick," she said, very slowly, "are you drunk?"

" _Me?_ No! Never even had alcohol!" Finnick insisted, which was somehow more of a yes than if he had just  _said_ yes. "Just wanted to see you, is that a  _crime?_ "

"Right," she said. "Let's get you back to your rooms - "

But just as she moved to guide him away, he slipped past her, stumbling into her chambers.

"Or we'll stay here. That's fine."

Finnick stumbled forward, before flopping onto her bed, stretching out onto the width of it. Sighing, Athena walked forward and sat cross-legged in front of him. Finnick shifted so that they were closer, placing his head very casually on her lap.

"Do you mind this?" Finnick said, looking over at her, seeming very concerned about what her answer to that question would be.

"No," she said, mostly for his sake, but she also really didn't mind it. It felt strangely right.

"Perfect," Finnick said brightly. "Because this is comfortable. I think I might stay here."

"You do that," said Athena, barely stifling a yawn. "Mind explaining to me why you're here in the first place, though?"

"I told you, I wanted to talk to you," Finnick replied.

"But why me specifically?" she said. "Why not Mags?"

"Mags is sleeping," Finnick said immediately. "She doesn't get much sleep during the Games, I want to give her her time to recharge."

"So, you're just going to interrupt my rest, instead?" Athena asked, eyebrows raised.

Finnick looked up at her, his head tilted slightly. "That's a negative outlook on this situation. You should try looking at things more positively."

"You just admitted to me being your second choice, and you want me to look at this positively?" Athena demanded, though she knew there was no use reasoning with someone as drunk as he was. "Maybe I want better for myself."

"I admitted to nothing," Finnick argued. "Mags wasn't even a topic of discussion until you brought her up. You're  _framing_ me. I just came to talk to you."

"Because Mags is asleep."

"Because you're you," Finnick corrected. "You know, we're going to be neighbours soon. I wanted to get a better idea of who my new neighbour is. Right now, I'm not getting a vibe I can knock on you door in the middle of the night and ask for a cup of sugar."

"You're really going to come to my house in the middle of the night to ask for a cup of sugar?" Athena raised her eyebrows.

"I might," Finnick said with a smile. "I forget to go grocery shopping a lot, I tend to stay up late, and I have a passion for baking."

"You have a passion for baking?" Athena said disbelievingly.

"I do."

Athena studied him contemplatively, before saying firmly, "No, you don't."

"No, I don't," he agreed, laughing, and Athena couldn't help but join him. "I do forget to go grocery shopping a lot, though. Mags has to remind me a lot."

"I can believe that."

"And I do tend to stay up late."

"I can tell," Athena nodded, "considering what time you came here just to  _talk_."

"Fair point," Finnick conceded. "Still, I might come to your house in the middle of the night for other reasons."

"Care to specify?"

Finnick shrugged, before grinning up at her cheekily and saying, "To talk. Isn't that good enough reason?"

"It is to you, clearly," Athena replied. "Is this acceptable in Victor's Village?"

"Depends on who you talk to," he replied matter-of-factly. "It is for me and for Mags, but there are some people whose beauty sleep you probably shouldn't disturb."

"Like mine, when I move there."

Finnick laughed, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment. Athena had to smile as she looked down at him, and she could feel the heaviness in her chest lifting just slightly. There was a pause, before Athena asked a question that had been on her mind for a while.

"Do you like living there?" she asked curiously. "Victor's Village, I mean."

"Well," Finnick began, after a long, thoughtful pause, "I like to think I live in the moment more than anything else, but," he continued, grinning at the way she rolled her eyes, "I guess I do, yeah. It's... it's not really the place, though... I mean, sure, the houses are real pretty and all, but the novelty wears out fast. It's really mostly... the people, I guess... after the Games, you start feeling almost separated from all the people who have never experienced them firsthand. I'm sure you've already started feeling like that," he looked up at her for confirmation. She nodded her head slowly, since she could hardly deny this. "Well, Victor's Village is full of people who have experienced it. We might not have all experienced exactly the same things, or feel exactly the same way after, but... there's a sort of unity in it, I guess. I mean, we're not all singing songs and braiding each other's hair and holding hands, but... I'd rather live there than somewhere with a bunch of people who could never understand it."

Athena nodded slowly. It made sense. That sort of logic was the exact reason why she had wanted to stay close to Mags and Finnick even after her victory in the Games.

"Well," Athena said slowly, "if you ever want me to, I can braid your hair."

Finnick laughed, but ran a hand through his bronze hair idly, saying, "I don't think my hair's long enough. Maybe I'll grow it out for you and take you up on that."

"Good," Athena said, smiling. "That can be a reason for you to come to my house in the middle of the night."

"Even better!" Finnick said excitedly, grinning, and even Athena had to laugh.

Another silence passed between them, but it wasn't tense or awkward at all. It was amiable, with an odd amount of familiarity to it, since they hadn't actually known each other for that long. It felt like they had; she might have known Finnick for years, from the way she felt.

"Say, Wise One," Finnick said, ending the silence, looking up at her contemplatively, his brow furrowed as he focused on her face with apparently difficulty. "You have a boyfriend back home?"

"Me? No," she said, half-laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked, frowning. "What's so funny about you having a boyfriend?"

"I just... it's hard to picture me having one, I guess," she said, then immediately felt embarrassed. "I just mean - I had enough going on as it was, and - "

Finnick was still frowning.

"So you've never had one?" he said. "I find that hard to believe."

"I did have one when I was fifteen," she confessed. "His name was Troy Breck. You might know him, he was in your year in the academy."

"Oh, yeah, Troy," Finnick said in recognition. "He wasn't half bad."

"He wasn't," Athena nodded. "That's why I dated him."

"He was a complete fucking dumbass, though," he added.

"Which is why I broke up with him about two months later."

Finnick burst out laughing, probably a little louder than he would've usually done in his inebriated state. Athena laughed with him, but warned him between their laughter to keep quiet.

"Right, right," Finnick said. "Some people are boring enough to actually sleep at night. But that's the only boyfriend you've ever had? No other boys you have your eye on back home?"

Athena thought about it. There  _was_ still Ian the pastry boy, but he was something distant, someone a different version of her might have been able to have, might have been able to really, truly want. Not this version of her, though. So Athena shook her head and said, "Not really."

"And no boy's got their eye on your?"

"Not that I know of," she shrugged.

"Really?" Finnick said, raising his eyebrows. She nodded. His eyebrows raised further. " _Reaaally?_ "

"Why the tone of surprise?" she demanded. "Why do you find this so hard to believe?"

"Because -  _look_ at you, Maris," he said, gesturing at her wildly as though it should all be obvious. "If you could really be around yourself, you'd know why I find it hard to believe. Sometimes I think that I..."

But he trailed off without finishing his sentence. Athena blinked, staring at him.

"Sometimes you think what?"

For a while, he said nothing. He simply stared at her, then at the ceiling, like he was looking for something he may never find.

"Nothing," he said finally. "I think nothing. You're just really pretty and good to talk to. You'd think boys would chase after you."

Athena hesitated. She knew he was lying, but it felt wrong to force the truth out of him, especially as drunk as he was. She paused, then asked, "How about you? I bet you've always had more than enough girls breaking down your door to have some experience."

He smiled, closing his eyes and laughing a little, but shook his head. "Two girlfriends. Neither of them lasted more than two months. The first was when I was, like, eight, and the second was when I was thirteen, and I still kinda thought love and that kind of thing was gross, so I don't really count them. I haven't really dated - haven't done anything  _real_ \- really... ever."

"See, that's something that's hard to believe!" she said.

"Why?" Finnick asked, then smirked and added, "Because you think I'm too good-looking to not have a girlfriend?"

"Shut up," she said sternly, and he laughed. "Because half of Panem is in love with you and you know it."

Finnick shrugged. "But I'm not in love with half of Panem. I'm in love with very little of Panem. I want something... I can't get from most people. From anyone, I've realized."

"No one at all?" she said, raising her eyebrows.

"Well, again, sometimes...  _noooo,_ no, no, no, never mind."

"Are you going to keep doing that?" she demanded.

"Honestly... yeah. Maybe. Depends on what else I almost let slip," he replied. "You're too goddamn easy to talk to Maris, that's the problem. I forget myself sometimes."

She stared at him. What was he hiding? What secrets did he have to keep from her? The curiosity burned at her, and yet she couldn't shake the feeling that coaxing the answers out of Finnick when he was too drunk for proper reasoning would be wrong. She only said, "I hope you can find it one day, Finnick."

"Find what?" he frowned, blinking.

"That thing you want but can't find in anyone," Athena replied. "I hope you find someone who can give it to you."

Finnick's facial expression then was a surprising thing. His whole expression softened, a look in his eyes she couldn't quite figure out as he looked at her and said, "I hope so, too, Maris, I hope so, too."

Another silence. Athena wasn't looking at Finnick, instead staring out the window, where she got a view of the Capitol at night, but she was thinking about him. She wondered if it ever got tiring to be Finnick Odair, a legend and a hero to his home district, one of the - if not  _the_ \- most desirable men in all of Panem, belonging to everybody and nobody all at once. She supposed it sounded almost appealing on paper, but it had to be draining, especially after going through the Games as young as he had.

"You're going to keep doing that, right?" Finnick said suddenly.

Athena snapped her head to look back down at him. She didn't know when she had brought her hand to his hair, playing with it idly with her fingers, but she apparently had at some point during the silence. She brought her hand away immediately, feeling embarrassed.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I was doing that," she said quickly. She tried to brush it off, saying, "I guess I'm too excited to start braiding your hair."

Finnick breathed out a laugh, but said, "I didn't say I didn't like it, did I? I was literally asking you to keep doing it. It feels nice. You've got nice hands."

Athena looked down at him with raised eyebrows. Finnick closed his eyes again, letting out a deep sigh.

"I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

"I'm sure," Athena said, smirking slightly, but brought her hand back to his hair and began running her fingers through it again gently. He relaxed slowly, which made Athena smile wider. "You know, I didn't expect  _the_ Finnick Odair to get this embarrassed about stuff like this."

"Neither did I," he said matter-of-factly. "Look at what you've done to me, Maris."

"Me?" Athena said, raising her eyebrows. "What have I done? All I'm doing is preparing myself to braid your hair in the future."

Finnick grinned one of his one dimpled grins. Athena ignored the pleasantly warm feeling she got inside of her as best as she could.

"I like talking to you, Thena," Finnick said slowly. "Like it a lot more than some of the other stuff I gotta do at night."

At first, his last words didn't properly register in her mind, too tired and too pleased by the compliment in his first statement. When they did finally hit her, Athena frowned. "What do you mean - ?"

But then she looked down and saw that Finnick was fast asleep, his head in her lap. Athena let out a sigh, but found she did not want to wake him. Slowly, carefully, she shifted in her spot until she had moved out from under him, placing one of her many pillows under his head in the place of her lap. She pushed him gently so that he was lying on his side, just in case he threw up in his sleep. She then tiptoed over to her window. The windowsill was wide enough for her to sit down comfortably, and long enough for her to stretch her legs out in the same way, so long as she was leaning against the wall, so that was what she did, crossing her arms about herself tightly and leaning her head back against the wall of the windowsill.

Athena's eyes wandered over to Finnick and stayed there for a time. The light of the moon from the window was shining on him, making him look distinctly angelic. He looked younger in this light, too; he was only a year older than her, but in this lighting, he could have been even younger than that. Something about him looked lighter than he usually did, which was what made her realize that despite the way he carried himself, it did always seem to her like something was weighing him down. She just didn't know what.  _"I think talking to you, Thena. Like it a lot more than some of the other stuff I gotta do at night."_

To what "other stuff" was he referring? What stuff did he have to do at night? Athena thought about the rumours of all the lovers that he took in the Capitol, rich Capitol socialites who were glad to have whatever limited time he would spend with them... but why would he get into all these affairs if it wasn't what he wanted? Finnick had said himself that, as a victory, there were very few things he did because he needed to do them; most of what he did was because he wanted to do it. She could not think of anything else that he could do at night that he disliked so much. She tried her best to keep it out of her mind, though.

Athena found herself thinking that it was a bit off that Finnick Odair was sleeping in her bed. She wasn't entirely sure why. There was nothing particularly scandalous about it; they weren't even sleeping in the same bed, since Athene was settled into the windowsill for the night. She supposed it was the fact that she was seeing him in a new, vulnerable light that she had never seen him in before ad it was new since she was so used to seeing him as a mentor, someone to help and protect and guide her. She wondered if he would mind it. Perhaps he didn't want her to see him like this, and when he woke up and was sober again, he would be angry at her for not sending him away. She didn't really find it likely, though. Finnick didn't seem quite like the type. If anything, it was probably better he passed out here where Athena could look after him than somewhere else all on his own. And this way, Finnick was somewhere relatively safe and comfortable while he was passed out, and Athena no longer had to feel like she would sink right into the floor where she was lying. Everyone won.

Athena still didn't sleep, though, so she sat there on the windowsill, staring out the window blankly as the sky gradually lightened, until she heard Alayne pounding on the door, singing cheerfully of another, "big, big day!"

The sound woke Finnick up immediately. He bolted upright in bed. The groan he let out and the way he was clutching his head let Athena know that he had sobered up and was now hungover. He looked around, then seemed to realize he wasn't in his own chambers anymore. He sat up straighter, immediately alarmed as he looked around, until his eyes landed on her.

"Athena?" he said, then winced at the sound of his own voice. "What are - what happened?"

"You came in here while you were drunk," Athena explained, careful not to speak too loudly. "Said you wanted to talk. And we did talk for a while, but then you passed out. I didn't want to wake you, so I just let you sleep in my bed. I hope you don't mind. I stayed here the rest of the night," she was quick to assure him, patting the windowsill lightly.

"You hope  _I_ don't mind?" Finnick repeated incredulously. "Fuck, Athena."

He scrambled to his feet, but then swayed dangerously on the spot. Athena jumped to her feet as well, ready to catch him if he lost his balance and fell.

" _I_ should be the one asking you if  _you_ minded," he was saying. "I came in the middle of the night... you must be exhausted after the Games... and after your father - "

"Finnick, it's really fine - "

"I even kicked you out of your bed - "

"Finnick!" Athena said again, then immediately shot him an apologetic look when he winced at the increased volume of her voice. She lowered her voice again. "I promise you, it's fine. I wasn't sleeping very well with or without you. You actually... you actually cheered me up a bit."

"I did?" Finnick said, looking stunned, which surprised her, considering Finnick's tendency to act as though he was the greatest thing to ever grace any room he entered.

"You did," Athena confirmed. "And about my bed... I actually felt more comfortable on the windowsill than I did in that bed, to be honest with you. I spent weeks sleeping on uncomfortable sofas and hard floors. I think I need a little more time to adjust to sleeping in real beds, especially in ones  _that_ soft."

"Really?" he said, surprised.

"Yeah," Athena said. "Why the tone of surprise?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing," he said quickly. "It's just... the same thing happened to me after my Games."

Before Athena could say anything about that, Alayne was banging on the door again, saying, "Athena! Hurry along now! Much to do and little time to get ready!"

Finnick winced again at the noise, clutching his likely aching head. "Does she have to be so damn loud?"

"I've been asking myself that question for a long time now," Athena said grimly, and Finnick grinned.

He became more serious after a moment, though, saying, "You sure you don't mind - ?"

"Completely sure," Athena said firmly. "If anything, I'm glad I proved I'm the kind of neighbour you can come to in the middle of the night and ask for a cup of sugar."

For a moment, Finnick looked confused; then he seemed to remember, because he grinned again. Athena was glad; something about that conversation being something only she remembered bothered her.

"I should go," he said after a moment. "Need to take care of this hangover."

"Probably a good idea," she said in agreement. "Especially since you're going to be on national television in a few hours."

Finnick shrugged at that. "Hey hungover or not, I'm always camera-ready."

"Shut up," Athena said, mainly because he was not wrong.

Finnick grinned wider, before moving over to the door of her chambers. He opened the door, just a crack, peering out the door to make sure the coast was clear. Clearly, it was, because he nodded at her once, before walking out the door, closing it behind him. She supposed it was fairly reasonable of him to make sure nobody saw him as he left. A mentor as young a him walking out of the rooms of an also young victor at such an early hour was bound to raise eyebrows and bring about uncomfortable questions. Finnick's playboy reputation evidently did not extend to sleeping with tributes.

Athena dressed quickly for the day, not bothering with her appearance when she knew her stylists and her prep team would be changing it soon. With that, she headed out towards the dining room. They would be leaving for District Four later that day, almost immediately after her final interview with Caesar Flickerman, and she was glad. Being there without Kai felt wrong; she thought she could see his ghost walking around everywhere. The suite could have been holding hundreds of people, but it would still feel empty without Kai's presence.

Mags and Alayne were already seated and eating when she arrived in the dining room, serving herself and sitting next to Mags. Finnick arrived a few minutes later, giving himself a light breakfast of toast and tea. Athena thought that was probably a good idea, on his part. Kai's absence left a gap at the table that remained the elephant in the room.

"And there you are!" Alayne said, as Finnick sat next to her. "Where have you been?"

"Went on a morning stroll," Finnick said casually, and Athena said nothing of his lie.

Athena didn't have nearly as much time as she wanted to eat her breakfast of hot grain and stew before her prep team descended on her, whisking her away to her chambers to prepare her for her interview. The good thing, though, was that all Athena had to say was, "The crowd loved you!" and her prep team immediately started talking a mile a minute, so that she didn't have to talk for a couple of hours. Tatiana saw her personally, without Syrio this time around, even shooing Ajax, Leto, and Hestia away so that it was only them. She adjusted her makeup personally for the first time, so that everything about Athena seemed to glow. Her hair was kept loose. She then put her in her dress. At the top, it was a deep blue, like the ocean before a storm. The colour gradually got lighter and lighter, until it was the same colour as seafoam at the bottom.

They made idle small talk while they waited for the time to come, but Athena was thinking of what she would say during her interview, how she would act. She supposed it would mostly be the same as her first interview, but with one major difference. During her first interview, Athena avoided a humble angle specifically so that she wouldn't have to gush about how wonderful the Capitol was in comparison to District Four. Athena knew today would be different, though. Today she would have to gush. She would have to go on and one about how grateful she was for the Capitol's generosity, for the way they supported her while she was in the arena. She would have to talk about how much she appreciated everyone in the city. The city that had sent her into the arena in the first place. The city that had seen her almost die more than once and loved it. The city that had seen her kill and loved it. The city that had seen her fall and cry and shake and loved it. The city that saw the deaths, the brutal murders, of children, children she had come to know, and loved it. The city that would later hear of her father's death and think of what a nice, sad story that made, and would love it.

Soon, the time came, and the two of them left Athena's chambers. The interview was to take place right in the sitting room of the District Four floor. A space had been cleared, and there was the comfortable armchair in the middle where Caesar would sit, and on either side of him, there was the ornate victor's chair and a sofa. She would be the one who sat on the victor's chair, but Mags and Finnick would sit on the sofa for their own short interview. Typically, the mentors didn't receive an interview, but the Capitol was so fond of Mags and Finnick (especially the latter) that they made an exception when the victor came from District Four. Athena didn't mind, though; focusing on her mentors have them less time to focus on her. The room had been decorated with white and blue flowers and beautiful seashells to match the ocean theme they had been milking this entire time. There were only a handful of cameras to record the event. No live audience, which was a relief to Athena.

Caesar Flickerman pulled her into a warm hug as soon as she walked in, "Congratulations, Athena. How are you faring?"

"I'm good," she replied. "A little nervous about this interview, though."

"You don't have a thing to worry about," he assured her, giving her cheek a gentle pat. "You'll be dazzling as always. We're going to have a wonderful time."

"I guess I'm just not used to all of this yet," she admitted. "You know, being interviewed and talking about myself and everything."

"There's not a thing you could say that could be wrong, my dear," he insisted kindly, which served as a good reminder that Caesar Flickerman did not actually know a thing about her, though she wished sincerely that he was right.

Mags and Finnick walked into the room next. Mags was in a simple but elegant light blue gown. Finnick wore pants and a long jacket of a darker blue, the jacket buttoned up only halfway, revealing his bare chest. Just as he said, Finnick looked camera-ready, despite being hungover a mere matter of hours ago. Once again, they were dressed not to look identical to Athena, but to look like the three of them were a team.

Athena had no time to talk to either of them, because at that moment, they were ready for them. Athena sat in the ornate chair, forcing herself to look more comfortable than she really was (it was like spikes would stick out of the chair at any moment, just like the spike that killed Cara), while her mentors settled comfortably on the sofa. Athena found herself wishing they weren't being separated by Caesar.

Someone counted backwards, and just like that, they were being broadcasted to the entire country. Caesar, as Athena had expected, was wonderful; teasing, joking, getting choked up when the situation called for it. Athena was relieved when she found the banter between them came as easily as they made quick small talk.

Caesar soon moved onto Finnick and Mags, though, saying, "But let's not forget the people who carried you through! Finnick, this is the third you've mentored in four years. How does it feel?"

"I've gotta say, Caesar, it feels pretty good to know that I'm doing something right with my tributes," Finnick replied. "But I can't give myself  _too_ much credit. The job gets so much easier when I have amazing, determined tributes like Athena and a brilliant, experienced co-mentor by my side like Mags."

"So humble," Caesar said. "So humble. But not off the mark. Mags, you've mentored almost every victor from District Four, including the two other victors sitting with us today. That's no small feat. Do you find it gets easier with time?"

"You find... you learn... every year... you become... better mentor," Mags was saying. "But it's much easier now... with Finnick... been such... great help... doing the job."

"Mags, it doesn't feel like a job when it's next to you," Finnick said matter-of-factly.

"You're... sweet," Mags said, patting his cheek in a maternal sort of way. Athena knew the Capitol was probably losing their minds over that. It even melted Athena, though, because she knew they were hardly playing anything up at all. Mags turned back to Caesar. "Very lucky... have him... by my side."

"Very lucky indeed," Caesar confirmed. "I do find this is a good combination of mentors. But now, let's get into the specifics of this year. This was a tense year, for sure. It was very hard won for our new victor here. Was there ever a moment you weren't sure she would make it out?"

Athena looked on, suddenly rather curious herself, Mags and Finnick exchanged looks, before the former said, "Explosion. Finnick... worried sick... until she... woke up."

"Really?" Caesar said in interest, turning to Finnick, and Athena found herself doing the same thing, surprised.

"Yeah, the explosion was the toughest moment for us to watch - and I'm sure we're not the only ones!"

"Too right you are," Caesar nodded in agreement. "When I tell you my heart nearly stopped right while I was commentating... but we're talking about  _you_ , my dear boy. How were  _you_ feeling in that moment? Where did this worry come from?"

"What can I say, Caesar? I care about my tributes," Finnick said, putting on a bashful expression. "I want them safe."

"So sweet," said Caesar, reaching over to pat Finnick on the shoulder, and Finnick placed his hand on top of Caesar's, smiling.

After that little moment, Finnick said, "But Athena's even stronger and more capable than the tributes we usually get. We had moments where we were worried or unsure, definitely, but I think it's safe to say we had a feeling these Games had her name written all over it."

Finnick looked over at Mags, who nodded in agreement.

"Now, speaking of which," Caesar said, "there was a moment between your two tributes, Athena and Kai, where Kai insisted the reason Athena received more gifts from sponsors was because you two favoured her, so that you worked harder to help her than you did for Kai. It was a tense, tense moment, and I'm sure we'd all agree," Caesar gave a significant glance over to the camera, before turning back to the two mentors, focusing his gaze on Finnick. "And it seemed that there was a particular emphasis on you, Finnick. What do  _you_ have to say about it? What's  _your_ side of the story?"

"Well, I always tried to tell him that he could make whatever assumptions he wanted about my personal feelings," Finnick replied, "but I mentor all of my tributes to the best of my abilities. Always. Don't ever doubt that, Caesar."

"Don't worry, my dear boy, I don't," Caesar smiled pleasantly, "but what is the  _truth?_ Was Kai Emerson right?  _Did_ you have a preference between your two tributes?"

Finnick seemed to struggle with himself for a fraction of a second, before putting on a confident smirk and saying, "Well, let's say I know a winner when I see one. And judging by all the sponsorships we got, so do the people of the Capitol."

Athena tried very hard not to be angry at Finnick for the comment. She knew he probably had to say it, but when she thought about how upset Kai was at the thought that he was being abandoned by the people who were supposed to protect him, it was hard not to get upset. Still, she forced a flattered expression on her face, since she knew the cameras were probably getting a shot of her reaction. Caesar, however, was laughing jovially at the comment, patting Finnick on the arm and saying, "Right you are, my boy, right you are! Our Athena does have the look of a victor, doesn't she?"

Athena tried to make herself feel glad she hadn't had to say much of anything at all so far, since she knew that would end before long. The interview with Mags and Finnick had passed along easily enough after that, and soon, sure enough, Caesar, and all of Panem, were focusing on her again.

"And don't think we've forgotten you, the pride of District Four!" said Caesar with a smile. "What a ride these Games have been for you! How would you describe them?"

The only way Athena could honestly describe the Games was in a way that could never be said on national television, so she just said, "Hot."

Caesar laughed and Finnick and Mags even joined in. Athena gained more courage.

"Yeah, really hot. And it was hard, you know, to keep myself going when I was in so much pain and I had to watch people I'd come to know die right in front of me."

"Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure," Caesar murmured, listening to her intently. "So what was it that kept you going?"

"My family, for sure," Athena said immediately, bringing her hand to her necklace, which she had insisted her stylists let her wear. "I made a promise to them before I left that I'd try my best to come back to them. I keep my promises."

"I can see that. Now, I am a bit curious about that necklace - your token, correct?" Caesar waited until Athena nodded in confirmation before continuing. "What's the story behind it?"

"My mother gave it to me," she replied. "It's tradition in her family that it gets passed down to the eldest daughter when she turns eighteen. She gave it to me a year early, though, to wear it as my token. It was a reminder of the promise I made. Of the people who were waiting for me back home."

"Oh, I'd feel so lucky to have a daughter like you," Caesar said. "But speaking of promises... Athena, I know you've had a bit of a shock, but I must ask - those last moments with your district partner, Kai... what you said about it being a cycle, and the promise you made to your former ally, Rowan... I have to admit, you lost me at some points. Give us a look at what was going on in your head at that moment."

"Honestly, Caesar, I don't think I was thinking straight," Athena replied, which wasn't a complete lie; she must have been delusional to think there was any chance that those last moments would have ended with anything but her or Kai's death. "You know, I was exhausted and starving and dehydrated and I think the desert heat was getting to me a bit. I'm sure I would've started screaming about the sky falling if Kai had given me a chance."

Caesar laughed, as did Finnick and Mags, putting her at east, but still, the former pressed on, saying, "Yes, but what did you words really  _mean?_ What was going on in your head at that moment? What were you thinking?"

"I think," Athena said slowly, looking for a way out, "I think I really didn't want to kill Kai. I think I realized in that moment that I had grown more attached to him than I thought I did. And I knew, deep down, that it had to end one way or another and that I had to keep my promise to my family, but I still wasn't ready to let go yet. I would've done anything, I think, just to prolong the inevitable a little more."

Caesar nodded in understanding, before saying, "And what of this promise you said you made to Rowan?"

"That promise," Athena said slowly, trying to find a way to explain it without making it sound like a rebellion against the Capitol. "Rowan made me make that promise so that I wouldn't lose myself in that arena. So that I was still me by the end of it. He was looking out for me... even in his last moments. He... was an ally and a friend through and through."

"Yes, your friendship with Rowan Lindell and Cara Savera was an unexpected one, but it was a favourite for everyone to watch, I'd say," Caesar said. "Though you certainly had a bumpy start. Was there ever a point where you thought they would turn on you?"

"I guess that fear is always present in the arena," Athena replied, "but the only time I was ever really worried about it was in the very beginning. We didn't really like each other or trust each other at all at first. I kept insisting on taking watch because I was scared of what they'd do to me in my sleep. I remember after I got those Tracker Jacker stings and hallucinated, I was so surprised when I woke up, because I was sure that they would've killed me to stop me from slowing them down. That was definitely a turning point, though. From then on, we were fine. It was hard to lose them, even though a part of me always knew it would end eventually."

Caesar hummed in agreement, before saying, "It was a heart-wrenching moment indeed. And that was when you started putting up those signs, correct? What was the motivation behind that?"

"It was just... I'd seen two people I'd come to see as friends die," Athena said. "I wanted to do something to... to honour them, I guess. And after I made that sign, I figured all the other tributes who died deserved something, too. Nobody else was doing it, so I did."

"Always so thoughtful," Caesar said kindly. "And there was your alliance with Marjorie Hopper of District Twelve. She was a sweet one, wasn't she? Take us into that moment when she died, when she told you her motivation for protecting you?"

"I guess... I was in shock," Athena said after a pause. "Marjorie had sort of been a constant for me throughout the Games, and then all of a sudden she was bleeding out in front of me. And the reason she was protecting me kind of came as a surprise. People did tell me I looked like Charity Hopper, a few years back during her Games, but I would've never thought... it was nice to know why, I just wish that wasn't how I found out."

"I know what you mean," Caesar said sympathetically. "And last was Kai Emerson, correct? How did it feel, finishing your Games with your district partner? Clearly, as you've said, you weren't ready to let go, but how did it feel when you first reunited? Was it a relief to see him again? Were you glad you were finishing with him? Or were you dreading the end the whole time?"

"It was more of a combination, really," Athena responded. "It did feel right to be finishing it with him, sort of like that was how it was meant to be the whole time, but I did keep thinking about the fact that one or both of us would be dead before long. And I kept thinking about what would happen if it was just the two of us left. It made things harder, for sure."

From there, they started talking about the injuries Athena sustained, Caesar asking, "What would you say was the worst injury you got in there?"

"Oh, probably the injuries I got from the explosion," Athena said. "The Tracker Jacker stings were pretty bad, too, but that was mostly because of the hallucinations. And that burn I got from those lizards hurt a lot, too."

"Tracker Jackers always do a number on the tributes," Caesar said with a nod. "Do you remember any of your hallucinations? Anything you can share with us today?"

"Oh, probably not," Athena said, shaking her head, making herself laugh a little, because she did not want to recount all the things she had seen while she was hallucinating. "It was all a mess. They barely made sense, even to me."

"Mhm, not the first time I've heard that," Caesar said matter-of-factly, smiling. "But you charged on, anyway, brave as always."

The rest of the interview passed by in this manner. Athena kept trying to come up with answers that weren't quite lies. Still, she had to hold back with every question she answered, for she knew what would happen if the Capitol interpreted anything she said in the wrong way. Caesar was so easy to talk to, though, that sometimes she almost forgot that she was on camera. Almost.

"When you first were declared victor, you seemed to be in shock," said Caesar. "Now that you've had a little more time to process it all, how are you feeling? What are you most looking forward to?"

"Mostly, I'm relieved, I guess," Athena said. "I'm excited to go home to my family. I went through all this so I could be with them again."

Athena did not mention the fact that her father was dead. She could not stand to hear Caesar give his sympathies, could not stand to imagine the devastated look on the faces of audience members watching from home.

"And now you and your family will have enough money to keep you going for the rest of your lives," Caesar pointed out. "No need to apply for Tesserae again."

"That's another bonus!" Athena said with a smile. "My family all works so hard, I'm glad they can relax and breathe easier now. And I can go back to the ocean, too! I've had enough desert for a lifetime."

"Yes, if your outfits are any indication, you do have a strong attachment to the ocean!"

"Yeah, I can't wait to get back on the water," Athena said excitedly, her most genuine moment so far.

"And I imagine you're excited to see more of your mentors?" Caesar said with a smirk, gesturing over to Mags and Finnick.

"Oh, yeah, they're alright, too," Athena said, like it was an afterthought, waving a hand casually.

"I wonder what your mentors have to say about that!" Caesar said, as he, Mags, and Finnick laughed again.

"This is the thanks we get after everything we've done?" Finnick said, clutching his chest as though he had been wounded, while Mags looked on with a grin. "Unbelievable."

Even Athena let out a laugh at that.

Caesar turned back to Athena as he said, "One more question before we sign off. I simply must ask. We've heard Kai's take on it, we've heard Finnick's, but we haven't heard yours. What do  _you_ think about your relationship with your mentors versus Kai's? Did  _you_ see any favouritism happening?"

"I always thought they were just doing their jobs," Athena replied. "I never saw what Kai was seeing. I mean, maybe I was too focused on trying to win that I wasn't as aware of what was around me as I should have been. I don't know. I wish he hadn't felt the way he did, though."

"But certainly you would've died without those gifts that were sent to you?" Caesar said. "Is that a matter of favouritism or simply your mentors doing their jobs?"

"I always thought of it as the second one," she answered. "I didn't see it as favouritism, so much as having brilliant mentors who knew what they were doing. And of course," she added, remembering right on time that she needed to gush, "the generosity of the Capitol. I would be dead without the kindness of my sponsors. There are no words for how grateful I am. I'm actually really sad to leave the Capitol after all you've done for me."

For a moment, Athena was scared that she'd overdone it, but Caesar brought a hand to his chest, looking touched, which let her know she was still in the clear. He then brought his hand on top of hers, saying gently, "And we're all sad to see you go, Athena Maris. Let me assure you, we'll all be counting down the seconds until your Victory Tour."

Athena smiled back at him. Then, with that, Caesar signed off, and just like that, the show was over. Everyone was crying and laughing and hugging, but Athena still was not sure of herself. She stood up and walked over to hug Mags.

"Good?" Athena whispered in her ear.

"Perfect," she replied, hugging her back tightly, and Athena allowed herself to be relieved for the first time.

Finnick approached her next, and she allowed him to pull her into a hug.

"Great job out there," Finnick murmured.

"Thanks, you too," Athena said shortly, as they pulled away. "Not that you would've expected anything less of me, right? Since you know a winner when you see one?"

"Athena," Finnick said, then lowered his voice significantly, "you know I had to say it."

Athena sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, I know. I just keep thinking about how he would've felt if he had heard."

"You're not the only one," he said.

Before he could elaborate, Alayne was reminding them all that they needed to hurry along to the train station. The train that would take them home would be arriving soon. Athena stopped being confused by Finnick's reply long enough to feel excitement building up inside of her. She was going home. She was going to be away from the Capitol at last. All she needed was to survive one more train ride. For once, Athena could not wait to get on a Capitol train.


	20. XX

**XX**

 

Athena went back to her chambers to collect her things, but found there really wasn't much to collect save for Kai's golden pin. Athena had shoved it underneath one of the pillows on her bed right before her prep team started working on her the day before, hoping no one would touch it there. They drove them through the streets in a car with blackened windows, and just as Alayne said, the train was waiting for them when they arrived. Once they were there, they barely had time to say goodbye to Tatiana, Syrio, Ajax, Leto, and Hestia. As they tearfully hugged her goodbye, Athena suddenly felt bad for feeling like she hated them. They would be reunited, soon, though, when the time came to tour the districts for the victory tour. It was said to be a way of honouring the winning tribute for their victory, but it was really just the Capitol's way of reminding everyone that the Games never really went away. Mainly, from Athena's knowledge of it, she would have to give a lot of fake speeches, she would be given a lot of useless plaques, and everyone would have to pretend that they loved her.

The train began to move and they were soon plunged into darkness. Athena counted the seconds until they cleared the tunnel and took her first free breath since the Reaping. Alayne would be accompanying them back to District Four. They ate an enormous dinner, before settling into silence in front of the television to watch a replay of the interview. Finnick and Mags were brilliant as always, but that wasn't new. Now that she could actually see herself, Athena saw that she did do a good job.

"I see you haven't forgotten my tips on etiquette," Alayne said, pride in her voice.

Athena was tempted to point out that after the four hours of hell they went through to teach Athena that etiquette, it wasn't likely she would forget it anytime soon. She decided against saying it, though. With the Capitol growing farther and farther away with every passing second, Athena allowed herself to think more of home. Of the ocean that called for her, waiting. Of Hudson and the other fishermen and sailors. Of the merchants at the markets. Of her mother and Calypso. Of her dead father and the unplanned funeral that awaited her.

She excused herself to change out of her dress, struggling a little to find her room again. Athena was far from filthy now, but she still hopped into the shower after taking off her dress. She washed off all the makeup, and stayed in the shower until the hot water began burning her skin and left it feeling raw. The good thing about showers, she felt, as that it became to distinguish regular water from tears and the sound of sobs were so easily drowned out... afterwards, she changed into a pair of black shorts, a long-sleeved navy blue tunic, and leather shoes. It resembled the outfit she wore the morning of her Reaping, before she changed into that purple satin dress. Athena stared at herself in the mirror until she felt like she could recognize herself again, before walking back out of her rooms, shoving Kai's golden pin into the pocket of her shorts.

The train made a brief stop for fuel, and they were permitted to go outside for some air. They clearly didn't see a need to guard her so much now; it didn't make sense for Athena to try to run now that they were going home. She wandered down along the track by herself, before she started walking along a field where flowers where in full bloom. Finally, she came to a stop at a hill, at a point where she was positive there were no more cameras to watch her, and sat down on the ground on the hill, before stretching out and lying down amongst the flowers. The area reminded her of the fields a little ways' off from the Justice Building. The flowers would be in full bloom there, too; this field even had some of the same types of flowers. If she tried hard enough, she could pretend she was already home. And not very far at all from those fields were the cliffs, which held the graveyard where her father would soon be buried...

The sun was beginning to set. Sunset looked so different here than it did in the arena. There had been a sort of beauty to it in the arena, too, but it was so barren and lifeless there. Here, the setting sun was shining what was left of its light on the flowers, life all around her. It was so beautiful, so peaceful here, she could almost pretend that she hadn't watched twenty-three children die.

She jumped when she heard someone clear their throat. When she looked around, though, she saw it was only Finnick, standing beside her, looking down at her. Slowly, she relaxed again. She was still a little tense, though. She remember what he said about Kai during his interview, remembered what he had said when she confronted him about it.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"It's comfortable here," she replied, because it was. After a split second of hesitation, she patted the empty space beside her. "Come see for yourself."

Finnick stared down at her, thoughtful. Then he obliged her, lying down beside her on the grassy, flowery meadow.

"This is nice," he said decisively, after a silence, as though he had to think about it first.

"Told you."

"Don't get too cocky, Maris," Finnick warned. "It's not  _that_ nice."

Athena grinned, turning her head to look at him, illuminated by the light of the setting sun. "Yeah, I guess I wouldn't want to end up  _too_ much like you."

Finnick turned to look at her, shooting her a look. "I see it didn't take you too long to go back to your hostile nature."

"I've decided to embrace my truest self," Athena replied, smiling and barely holding back her laughter.

"You're out of control," he said with a grin. "I'm going to steal all your sugar when I come in the middle of the night."

Athena couldn't help it at that; she burst out laughing, closing her eyes and clutching her stomach as she laughed. She heard Finnick joining her a moment later, and grinned even wider as she laughed. Their laughter was near hysterical, and they did not stop until they heard someone else approaching. Athena opened her eyes and saw Mags standing there, her head slightly tilted in contemplation as she stared down at them.

"What are you - ?" she began.

"It's comfortable," Athena and Finnick said in unison.

Finnick patted the empty space beside him, indicating for Mags to join them. After a moment of thought, she did. Finnick took her hand and helped her lie down gently on the grass. They all lay in comfortable silence, staring up at the sky. It was a rare moment where Mags and Finnick were not mentors and Athena was not a tribute. They weren't even three victors, they were only themselves.

Alayne appeared a few minutes later, and before she could ask, Mags said, "Comfortable. Feel free to... join."

Alayne was more hesitant. She looked down at her bright pink dress and said, "Oh, I would hate to get dirty or messy, though - "

"Messy is new for you?" Mags mumbled.

Finnick laughed, and Athena did, too, mostly out of surprise that it was Mags who said it. Mags was furthest from Alayne, so Athena was pretty sure that Alayne didn't hear the comment, but she could hear Athena and Finnick's laughter, which seemed to be an indication that she was being mocked.

"Well, I guess it couldn't hurt," Alayne said stiffly, and stretched out on the ground on Athena's other side. There was a pause, before Alayne said, "Well, I suppose this is... nice."

Athena looked over at Alayne. She looked so out of place like this, in her pristine, over-the-top clothes and elaborate hairstyles that Athena burst out laughing all over again. Finnick and Mags followed suit and began laughing themselves, but Alayne looked highly affronted.

"What? What are you laughing at?" Alayne demanded. When the three of them didn't answer and just laughed harder, she said, "You know, this is very rude! This sort of thing might be commonplace in District Four, but it's  _not_ in the  _Capitol!_ "

"It's okay, Alayne," Athena said, calming down enough to speak, though she was still laughing. "I'm glad you're trying new things."

"Yes," Alayne said slowly, looking less offended now. "I suppose we've all tried new things these past few weeks."

Too soon, the time came for them to board the train again. Alayne was the first on her feet, straightening her hair and her clothes and making sure nothing had been dirtied. Athena exchanged glances with Mags and Finnick and suppressed laughter with difficulty. Athena was the last one to get up again. As excited as she was to go home, she didn't want this moment to end, trying to hover in it. It was a moment of peace, and when she thought of all the responsibility that waited for her in the next few months, of the weight of the Games still dragging her down, she didn't know the next time she would have another moment of peace. Mags and Finnick each offered a hand to pull her up. Athena hesitated, lingering in the moment for a split second longer, before taking their hands and allowing them to pull her to her feet.

When they were back on the train, it wasn't very long until Mags, Finnick, and Alayne were all suggesting that they head off to bed. Athena found that she was not tired, though, so she told them she'd be in the room with the television. When they all shot her concerned looks, she assured them over and over that she would not be long until they finally let her go, and she was glad she was successful. Before she went home, there was something she needed to do. Something that had been nagging at her mind ever since she woke up in the Training Center but hadn't time to do yet.

It took her a long time to find Charity Hopper's Games, because she couldn't remember the exact year that it happened. Finally, she found her under the option titled:  _"SIXTY-SIXTH ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES."_ Athena could remember it all now, could even remember her parents' and Calypso's disturbed reactions to how similar she looked to Charity. Even though the memories were already flooding back to her, Athena forced herself to watch every bit of footage there was of Charity Hopper, from her Reaping (they had even been wearing the same petrified expressions when they were Reaped) to her debut at the opening ceremonies to her interview to every moment of her Games until her death. There were some physical differences, Athena realized when she examined her more closely, and the longer she looked, the more pronounced those differences became. They weren't truly identical. Marjorie probably would have grown to realize this, if she had been given the time. But she never was. There were also differences in behaviour; mainly that Charity Hopper had been much less prepared for the Games than Athena (which could probably be attributed to the fact that she didn't have a lifetime of training at the academy), and it showed. Still, it was impressive that Charity Hopper made it as far as she did. When she was beheaded, Athena didn't know if it felt like watching herself or like watching a complete stranger.

"Why... do you torture yourself?" a voice behind her said.

Athena jumped to her feet and whipped around, clutching onto the remote tightly in her hands. It was only Mags, though, staring at her calmly. Athena dropped the remote and threw it onto the sofa. She made no jokes about throwing it at Mags' head and ruining her vision. It was not quite the same as it was with Finnick.

"Why do you torture yourself?" Mags said again, more steadily.

She gestured to the television, which was showing a replay of Charity Hopper's beheading in slow motion. Athena forced herself to look away, over at Mags instead.

"I don't classify it as torturing myself," Athena said. "I needed to watch this."

"Needed to?" Mags repeated, moving around to sit down on the sofa. Athena hesitated, before sitting down next to her. Mags grabbed the remote and turned off the television. "Why... need to? What... do you gain from watching?"

"I needed to see it," Athena said again stubbornly, because she could not properly answer Mags' question. "Charity Hopper is the reason I'm alive. If I didn't look like her, I would be dead. If she was alive, I would be dead, because then Marjorie wouldn't have seen me as her and felt the need to protect me... the fact that she's dead is the reason I'm alive."

Athena suddenly found it hard not to cry. She rubbed her eyes, hoping to chase away tears before they could form.

"You still didn't... answer... question," Mags said gently. "Why... need... watch?"

"I feel like I owe it to - to Charity or to Marjorie or to both of them, maybe," Athena said, her voice shaking. "I need to see her as she was. I wouldn't be here without her. I'm here and she's not and neither is the person who loved her more than anything. The least I can do is just... see who she was."

"You're torturing yourself," Mags said firmly, placing a hand on top of hers. "You feel... guilty because you survived... Charity didn't... Marjorie didn't... so now you're forcing yourself... watch footage of her... to punish yourself with... so you can feel worse... you think that's what you deserve."

Athena was silent for a moment, mostly because she knew Mags was right, before she burst out, "Well, so what if I am punishing myself? They're both dead and I'm not, which means I'm the one who has to have the burden on them. That's the price that comes with being the one who makes it out. I'm forcing myself to watch her death, but I still wasn't the one who actually died! I lived, and it's because of them! I need to watch them! It's the price I pay."

"Says who?" Mags countered. "Who says it's... price you pay? What happened to them... not your fault... not your burden to carry... but I know... I can't stop you from feeling how you do... as a mentor... someone who cares about you... telling you... watching this footage... will do you no good, in the end."

Athena stared ahead of her blankly, thinking about this. She knew Mags was right. She could not let go of the grief and guilt she felt about the Hopper sisters, but forcing herself through footage of Charity Hopper had not done anything but make her heart feel even heavier.

"You really know what you're about, don't you, Mags?" Athena said finally.

Mags gave a modest shrug, but said, "Since you said it..."

Athena actually laughed, saying, "I see why you and Finnick work so well."

Mags grinned, but said, "He's not so bad, you know."

"I know," Athena said with a grin. "I've been warming up to him."

"I've noticed," Mags nodded. "You're... more alike than... you... realize."

Athena thought about that for a moment. If Mags had said that when she first met Finnick, Athena wouldn't have believed her for a second. When she first met him, Athena thought she and Finnick practically belonged to different worlds, despite coming from the same district. As time went on, however, Athena's feelings about Finnick started to change and she realized they really weren't so different after all. And Mags would certainly know, too. True, Mags hadn't known Athena for that long, but she did give the impression that she was really good at reading people, and she likely knew Finnick better than anyone else.

"Maybe," Athena conceded. There was a pause, and then she said, "I'd like to be a bit more like you, though."

Mags smiled at her, but said, "If I were you, I'd be... happy... being myself."

Athena smiled back at her. She liked the fact that she had Mags' approval. It always made her feel like, in spite of what else was happening, she had to be doing  _something_ right.

"Does it get easier with time?" she asked suddenly, looking over at Mags. "The weight of it all."

Mags was quiet for a moment, thoughtful. "It's not... easier... it's more... you get used to it... but I've been... mentor for... years... never had... chance to pause... just for a minute..."

Athena suddenly felt terrible for Mags. Athena had never thought about Mags being a mentor in this way. She remember the way Mags was shaking after she had won her Games and been announced victor; the Games had clearly had an impact on her, and she was forced to relive it year after year through the tributes she mentored. She had never had time to pause, to stop and just be at  _peace_ , because she always had a new arena to focus on instead. Mags always seemed so steady, so constant, that Athena had never truly thought about how draining that likely was for her. And suddenly, Athena was thinking about what the process was to become a mentor, if she could just start next year or if she had to apply or something similar. She didn't really want to be a mentor, but Mags had been forced to do it for so long. If Athena replaced Mags, then perhaps the latter would be able to find some sort of peace in her last years... Athena stored the idea in the back of her mind to analyze more carefully later on.

"But it helps... have the right people with you," Mags was saying. "Finnick... very sweet... looks after me a lot... I'll be here... any time you need me..." she said reassuringly, reaching forward to brush loose strands of hair from Athena's face, tucking it gently behind her ear. "Finnick, too..."

Athena found it difficult to properly express her gratitude, so she just said, "Uh, I know you're supposed to be the mentor here, but I'm here any time you need me."

Mags smiled, but still said, still fixing Athena's hair idly, "Go... sleep."

"I guess sleep is a good idea," she conceded, then said, the corners of her mouth twitching upward in a grin, "I mean it's either that or keep listening to Alayne's snoring in the other room. Seriously, I think she's going to wake herself up one day - "

"Go to bed, Athena."

Athena laughed at the playfully exasperated tone Mags took on, but still did as she was told, leaping to her feet. She noticed Mags struggle to stand up again and hastened to help her up.

"Where's your cane?" Athena asked in concern, since Mags had a cane she used to walk sometimes when she couldn't on her own.

"My rooms," Mags replied. "Didn't think... I'd need it. I'll be fine, Athena..."

All the same, Athena walked Mags over to her rooms, only bidding her goodnight and leaving when she was sure she would be okay by herself. From there, she made her way over to her rooms, changing into comfortable tights, a baggier shirt, and a sweater, placing the pin in her sweater pocket, before settling into bed. Despite the minimal amount of sleep she had gotten the night before, she still could't sleep. She still wasn't used to sleeping on an actual, soft bed, but that wasn't all. Mags' presence and words had been comforting to her, but now that she was alone with her thoughts again, all that she had done and had not done in the arena were weighing her down all over again, guilt and grief overwhelming her.

After close to three hours of useless tossing and turning, Athena gave up on sleep, sitting up straight in bed. She looked out the window, at the scenery, illuminated by the moonlight, zooming past as the train moved forwards. She wished they would stop for fuel again, though she knew they wouldn't. Maybe fresh air would have helped. Deciding to move around a bit, Athena threw off her blankets, tossed on a sweater, and tiptoed out of her room in search of a glass of water.

On the way back to her chambers, she saw Finnick sitting on a plush sofa in one of the compartments of the train, staring out the window opposite. His hair was tousled and his clothes were rumpled, but he still looked like he hadn't slept much. He couldn't have been there for very long, since Athena hadn't seen him on the way to get a glass of water, and Finnick was not the type of person one typically skipped over. He looked up at her when he heard her enter the room.

"Hi."

"Hi," Athena returned. "Can't sleep?"

Finnick shook his head. "You?"

Athena shook her head, as well. She found herself wanting to stay for longer. Maybe talking with Finnick for a bit would help her. "Mind if I sit?"

"Not at all," Finnick replied, patting the empty space beside him.

Athena sat down. For a moment, they simply sat in silence, staring out the same window opposite them. The silence was more tense, though. Athena had remembered too late Finnick's comment about Kai during the final interviews earlier that day. She knew it was ridiculous to still be upset over something he had to say, but it still bothered her.

"We'll be home in the morning," Finnick said, as though Athena didn't already know. "Feeling alright?"

The question made her think for the first time about how she really felt about returning to District Four. She knew things would be different. Now that she was a victor. Now that her father was dead. She was a drastically different person now than she was when she first stepped on the tribute train, and her life would be drastically different to match. She was anxious about a lot of it. She was anxious for the moment she would have to come to terms, once and for all, that her father was really dead. She was anxious about her responsibilities as a victor, practically property of the Capitol. She was anxious to see if she would be perceived and treated differently. She was anxious about whether or not she'd be able to keep it together. She had been relatively functional thus far, considering all that had happened to her in such a short amount of time, but that was because there was always something that kept her pushing forward. In the arena, it had been the need to survive; immediately after coming out, there were all the appearances she had to make for the Capitol; the moment she arrived home, it would be the funeral and her mother and sister who would need her to put on a brave face; in a few months, it would be the victory tour. There was always something that forced her to stay strong and keep pulling herself together when she felt herself unravelling, but Athena was anxious that if she was given even half a chance to break down, she would fall apart and never be able to pick herself back up again.

Still, there was some good that was coming out of it all, she supposed. She, her mother, and her sister would all be together again. They would never have to worry about money again. She had Mags and Finnick with her now. She could get back on the water, get back on  _The Adventurer_ with Hudson and other fishermen and sailors. She would never have to be in that suffocating, desert heat again.

"I think so," Athena said finally. "It'll be different, I guess. But I'll adapt if I have to."

"How are you feeling?" he asked. "About your father?"

She sighed heavily. "That's probably the part I'm leave ready for, having to face it..." A pause, and then she said in a low voice, "He was sick. Really sick. Had been for a while. We wanted to find a cure for him, but we couldn't fine it, and even if we did find it we probably wouldn't have been able to afford it. That was one of the things I was most excited about when I won. The Capitol has all this advanced medicine, and I had all the money I could ever need and my status as a victor... maybe I could've worked something out... but now he's dead," she let out a humourless laugh. "I just wasn't expecting it. I mean, he was sick enough that I tried to prepare myself for his death. All of us knew he could die at any time. He knew it, I knew it, my mother knew it, even my little sister knew. You try to prepare yourself for the possibility that you'll wake up one day and he won't. But I just.. I wasn't expecting it now. Not like this."

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Finnick nodding slowly. He looked like he was debating whether or not he should say something.

"Losing a parent is hard," he murmured. "Trust me, I'd know a lot about that. But at least you've got your mother and your sister. That must help."

Athena normally would have responded, but she was distracted by what he said about losing a parent.  _"Trust me, I'd know a lot about that."_   She was going to ask him about it, but he continued talking before she had a chance.

"You've been amazing," he said, a little hesitantly. "You know, through everything."

"Thank you," Athena said, still slightly tense. "You and Mags helped a lot."

"We're happy to?"

"Why?" Athena said so suddenly, so out of the blue that she hadn't expected herself to say it.

Finnick frowned. "What do you mean, why?"

"Why... why were you so happy to help?" Athena said, struggling to find the words. "What exactly made you see a winner in me and not Kai?"

"Athena," he said slowly. "I told you, I had to say it - "

"Well, was any of it true?" Athena said. She didn't quite know what she really wanted out of this, but it felt crucial that she knew. "Was it  _all_ just for the cameras?"

"What do you even  _mean_ , Athena?" Finnick said, but from the look on his face told her he likely had an idea.

"I mean," she said, stammering a little, "I mean - was he right? Kai, I mean."

"Right about what?" Finnick said slowly, his eyes narrowed and his body visibly more tense, but there was no way that he didn't know what she meant at that point; he was making her say it out loud.

There was a moment where Athena considered not pressing the subject; considered telling him that it was nothing and to forget it, considered changing the subject, considered dropping the conversation altogether and escaping back to bed. But she still wanted answers badly, so she pressed on despite the tense atmosphere.

"Was Kai right about you preferring me to him?"

Finnick must have seen the question coming, must have expected it by that point, but he still reacted; he stood up abruptly from the sofa, taking several steps away from her and saying, "Tell me you aren't serious. You were supposed to be the one who  _understood_ it."

Athena did not want to remain sitting when he was standing, so she got to her feet, too, saying, "I thought I did, but you are  _impossible_ to understand. I don't know what to make of anything you do anymore!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked in a low voice, taking a step towards her. Athena stood her ground. "You think there's some secret ulterior motive to everything I do? All I want to do is help you. That's been my only motivation here this whole time!"

"That's my whole point!" Athena said. " _Why?_ Why me?"

"How do you know I didn't feel the same way about Kai, huh?" he demanded. "What makes you so sure?"

Athena stammered a little, struggling to find the words, before saying, "I - I  _did_ get more gifts from sponsors than him."

"You said it yourself that you needed them more!" Finnick said. "If he got in any explosions Mags and I would have been sure to send more his way! And sponsorships ultimately come down to how much the Capitol likes you. And they loved you! The commentators praised you the entire time and most of the people I talked to all said that wanted you to win the whole thing! How does it come back to me if the Capitol liked you better? How is that somehow a reflection of how  _I_ feel?"

"It's not," Athena said with forced patience. "That's why I'm not asking about the Capitol, I'm asking about you! Mags said you were worried sick about me after that explosion - "

" _Everyone_ was - people  _care_ about you, Athena - "

"But she singled  _you_ out!" Athena said. " _Why?_ "

"Why do you even want to  _know_ so badly?" he demanded.

"Because it affects me pretty fucking badly!" Athena replied hotly. "It affected me and my chances of survival in that arena, and I want to know how!" And Athena had never outright thought about it like that, but it was true. It seemed like her entire survival was based on the choices others made that brought her to the end, rather than anything she had ever done. It felt crucial to her to know if she was indebted entirely to others. "If the reason I'm here is because of some - of some - unfair bias - "

"Of course that's not the reason you're here!" Finnick said, walking forward and grabbing her by the shoulders, and despite his obvious frustration, he didn't do it roughly. "You made it because you're strong and you're smart and you pushed through no matter what happened. Did you have help? Sure, but nobody can make it through the arena without help. I didn't. Mags didn't. Nobody can."

Athena still wasn't settled by it, though. "And Kai - Kai deserved... I don't even know. Honesty? But I can't do that for him. I can't do anything but give his damn pin back to the person who gave it to him!" At that, Athena pulled the pin out from her sweater pocket and held it out. The moon shined brightly on it, before Athena was shoving it back in her pocket. "But I still want - I still  _need_ \- to know the truth."

"What truth is there to know?" Finnick demanded. "In the end, Mags and I made sure that you both got what you needed, because that is our goddamn job. There's nothing else to it!"

"Well, then, why can't you just answer my question?" retorted Athena. "Why won't you just - ?"

"What is it you want to  _hear_ , Athena?" Finnick burst out. "That I kept almost losing it when you were injured or in danger in there? That I did stuff I had never done - that I had never even  _thought_ about doing - for a tribute to keep you safe? That I don't know what I  _wouldn't_ have done to protect you in there? Is that what you want to hear so damn bad?"

Athena blinked, thrown off by the comment. "What does that mean?"

Finnick was silent. He seemed to have only just realized what he had said - or he had only just realized the weight of his words. He stepped back from her slowly, looking as though he was afraid of what would happen to him now.

"Finnick," Athena said slowly, frowning, "what are you saying? What's that supposed to mean?"

Finnick still didn't speak. He was looking slowly more horrified with himself, with what he had said. He shook his head, as though wanting her to forget he had said it, but Athena still didn't understand.

"Finnick - " Athena began.

She was cut off by a loud rustling sound from what sounded like a few compartments away. They both jumped at the noise, looking around towards the source, as though expecting something to jump out at them right then and there. They stood at attention, still and silent, waiting for something else to happen. Athena was worried that the noise had come from Mags or Alayne, who had been woken up by their argument; she hadn't realized how loud they were being until then. They waited what must have been over five minutes, and still nothing happened, forcing them to the conclusion that nothing likely would happen. If they had woken someone up, they had gone back to sleep.

Slowly, Athena and Finnick faced each other again. It was only then that Athena realized that they were holding onto each other, Finnick with an arm around her shoulders and Athena gripping onto his other arm tightly. They had both reacted to the noise; they just hadn't realized they had reacted almost instinctively toward each other. They hastened to move away from each other, the atmosphere suddenly much more tense. They stared at each other in silence, neither of them wanting to speak first.

Finally, Finnick let out a deep sigh and all but collapsed back onto the sofa. Feeling rather sheepish, Athena did the same, careful to sit not too close but not too far away from him, either. Suddenly, having loud arguments about which of his two tributes Finnick Odair liked best seemed so silly and foolish that Athena was ashamed to have started it. She should not have been trying to put so much strain on... whatever developing friendship she and Finnick had over it. Still, though, she supposed she had her answer. If Finnick really hadn't had any preference for either of his tributes, he would have said as much and shut the whole matter down quickly and firmly. He had not done so, and there could really only be one reason why. Athena wasn't sure about how she felt about it; it would normally be a nice thing to be someone's favourite, she supposed, but not when she knew how it affected the person who felt like they had been left behind.

And she was still worried about Finnick.  _That I had done stuff I had never done - that I had never even thought about doing - for a tribute to keep you safe?"_ She had no idea what he meant by that, which made her even more worried. What sort of things had he done to keep her safe - things that he had never done for any of his other tributes? Had he put himself in some sort of danger, take some sort of risk? And she found she still wanted to know  _why_ ; why did he do this for her, why did he seem to think she was worth all of it?

"Finnick," she said quietly, finally breaking the silence, her eyes glancing sideways at him. "What you said about how you don't know what you wouldn't have done to help me... how you did stuff you'd never done for a tribute before... what did you mean by that?"

Finnick was quiet for a long time again. It wasn't until she was thinking that she might as well give up on the entire conversation and leave that he spoke again.

"I wasn't lying when I said the commentators had nice things to say about you," Finnick said weakly. "Everyone loves you, Athena - or at least, everyone in the Capitol. It made our jobs a lot easier. It just... wasn't the only thing."

She frowned. "Then what else was there?"

Finnick shifted slightly where he sat, then became oddly still. Athena watched him as carefully as she could from out of the corner of her eyes. He didn't have his regular graceful composure that he even managed to maintain to an extent while drunk; he looked almost as if he was unravelling. He took a deep breath, sitting up slightly before slouching down again, as though trying to brace himself for something.

Finally, he said, "I'm sure you've noticed that the Capitol has a soft spot for me."

"Well, yeah," Athena said, frowning. She didn't understand the significance of it; it was common knowledge, after all. Why would it be treated as some grand revelation? "I'm sure you charmed them a little bit to get them to give money, but all mentors have to do that, don't they?"

Finnick let out a humourless laugh. "I did a lot more than just charm them."

Athena blinked, looking at him more squarely, her brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Again, he looked like he was bracing himself for a particularly painful blow that was coming right for him at any moment, before saying. "The Capitol have... big appetites. It's hard to satisfy people who have everything at their fingertips. It's a hard job for President Snow, I'm sure," and Athena could definitely detect strong hints of bitter irony in his voice, but she said nothing of them, only listening. "You give them the Hunger Games, but then they want the tributes - the victors, especially - around all the time. You give them the victory tour, and you bring the victors to the Capitol every now and then to put on television and in magazines, but sometimes that's not enough. Sometimes, when the Capitol finds a victor particularly... desirable, they want more. I'm one of those victors, and President Snow found the perfect solution.

"He... he sells me - my body, that is," Finnick continued, and Athena got the impression that Finnick was trying to sound detached, removed from what he was saying, but the shake in his voice as he spoke told her that he couldn't quite manage it. Athena could not blame him; she felt horror mounting its way up inside her the more he spoke, and she only had to listen to it. "He'll give me to people as a reward or lets people buy me if they can cough up enough money. From there, sometimes they'll keep me for themselves or they'll give me to someone else as a gift. If I say now, he kills someone I love. I can't bear the idea of Mags dying, and especially not because of something I did - or didn't do, I guess - so I do it."

Athena felt more horrified with every word that he said, the way he spoke of himself as an object, something to be bought and sold and given to whoever wanted to use him whichever way they wanted. It explained everything. It explain all the rumours about his string of lovers in the Capitol, not really lovers at all, but people who bought and used people before discarding them simply because they could. It explained all the times he seemed to be spending late nights away from the Training Center. It explained how he had never really been in a relationship, even after his victory; for someone as desired as Finnick, it would not do for him to be in love with someone else, effectively making him unavailable to the Capitol, unable to be possessed by them. It explained what he had said to her last night when he was drunk, about how he preferred talking to her to the other things he had to do at night... this was what he did at night, whenever he was in the Capitol... and suddenly, Athena was overcome with the desire to stop him from talking, if only momentarily, to beg for his forgiveness for every negative thought or assumption she had ever had about him, about his playboy reputation, about his flirtatious behaviour that she was realizing now was probably a mask he was forced to put on to play up his desirability. Before she had the chance, however, he was continuing to talk.

"When I look back at it, I can't be surprised," he was saying, staring ahead of him blankly, unable to quite meet her eyes. "I knew they loved me from the start. I knew they always thought I was desirable. But I was fourteen when I won my Games, I was way too young, even for them... I knew they still wanted me around, so I became a mentor, did all the interviews and photo shoots that they wanted me to do. But when I turned sixteen... that was old enough for them to do whatever they wanted with me, so that's when it started. It was a matter of time, I realize that now... it would've happened sooner or later...

"I'm not the only one," he continued. "I know which other ones were forced into it. Mags knows about it - all the victors do, because they all know it's a possibility if they're considered desirable enough. I  _am_ the most popular, though. And the most defenseless, too. I mean - look at Mags. She's smart, and she was strong when she was younger, and she's got an iron will, but now... she's old and she finds it hard to even speak and she uses a cane to walk sometimes. She's someone who needs to be protected a lot more, which means I do anything they ask me to do. I can't risk Snow doing anything to her.

"My clients - patrons, really - seem to realize what they're doing, even if it's only deep in their subconscious, because they always offer to pay me in all the money and jewels that I could ever want - and Snow lets them do it, as long as he gets his money, too. But money stopped meaning anything to me a long time ago, so I found a form of payment that's much more valuable."

"Secrets," Athena whispered suddenly, and she hadn't meant to say it out loud, but she was remembering that conversation she had with him the second day she knew him, Finnick whispering seductively to her, minimal space between them, about how people paid for the pleasure of his company. She had thought he was just trying to get under her skin, trying to prove that he had the exact effect on her that he seemed to have on the rest of Panem. She hadn't realized just how true his words were...

Finnick let out another mirthless laugh. "Remember that, do you? Well, I wasn't lying. Rich Capitol socialites, many of them close to Snow or other important Capitol officials... there was no way they didn't know something. And they never held back with me. Never," he repeated, bitterness in his voice again.

And Athena could imagine so vividly it made her feel like bile was rushing up her throat. Wicked, drunken secrets whispered over a damp pillow in the dead of night. Anything to ease any sort of conscience that they might have, and besides, Finnick was an object that was bought and sold and used, a district slave. A handsome one, yes, but still a slave, and ultimately harmless. Who would he tell? What damage could he really do with that knowledge? Still, it must have felt like keeping some semblance of power and control, knowing these powerful people's darkest secrets. She could only imagine the sort of things they told him freely, not thinking him as human enough to ever harm them in return. The more she thought about it, the more she felt like her head was spinning.

"The things I've heard in just two years of doing this..." said Finnick. "I won't tell you them now. You've been through enough already, and now... now doesn't really seem like the time or the place. I will, one day, if you want me to...

"But you're probably wondering what any of this has to do with you," he continued, but Athena had completely forgotten that all of this tied back to her somehow, so wrapped up in feeling horrified and stunned and sorry for Finnick. "Try to imagine, if you can, me watching you in the arena, with giant Tracker Jacker stings, or having just come out of an explosion, and needing to seal the sponsorships you needed to survive... it wasn't extremely difficult, since people loved you, but with the injuries you were getting... we needed a lot to take care of them. And there I was... with Capitol elites with more money than they knew what to do with wrapped around my finger..." And in a horrible whoosh of realization and a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, Athena understood completely, but she wanted so badly for it not to be true, for it to all be some cruel trick - a part of her even wanted this to be some hallucination and she would wake up and still be in the arena, but at least with the knowledge that Finnick had not forced himself through what he had... "And so when the time came to get you the sponsorships you needed..." Finnick took a deep breath, exhaling audibly, his breathing still shaky, "I did what I had to."

Athena could not bring herself to speak for a long time, shocked and nauseated and guilt ridden at this new knowledge of the lengths Finnick had forced himself to go to to keep her alive... finally, she said weakly, "Finnick... oh, Finnick... you didn't have - "

"I know I didn't," he said roughly. "But I saw you hurt and in danger and I couldn't stand by when I knew I hadn't done everything I could to help you." For the first time since he began telling his story, he looked her directly in the eyes as he said, "My tributes, my responsibility."

But something was still burning at her, coiling deep inside of her; the need to  _know_ what made her so special. Why did he feel the need to protect her so specifically, why had he gone to such lengths for her when he said himself he had never even thought about doing it for his other tributes? But looking over at Finnick now, at the way he seemed almost exhausted, she knew tonight was not the night she got those answers. Another time, perhaps, when life did not seem so full of darkness and they did not feel like they were carrying the unbearable weight of all they had endured.

For now, however, Athena hesitated for several long moments before doing the only thing she could think to do to comfort him without pressuring him into doing anything he didn't want to do; Finnick Odair had been pressured into too many terrible things already. Slowly, Athena placed a hand, her palm facing the ceiling, in the minimal space between them. Not a demand or even really a request; only an invitation, if he wanted it. She didn't look at him as she did it and still didn't, staring instead out of the window once again; she didn't want to come on too strong or make him feel like she was pressuring him. For a long time, there was nothing. Athena was just thinking that she ought to retract her hand again and pretend the whole thing never happened, when she felt a feather light pressure on her palm. Her eyes flickered down and she saw Finnick's long fingers tracing the lines of her palms lightly, before placing his hand on hers, interlocking their fingers carefully, as though scared of doing it wrong. There was a long pause. Athena rested her head on his shoulder. Another long pause, and Finnick tilted his head so that his head was resting on her.

They stayed like that for the rest of the night, neither of them talking, but still unquestionably  _together_. Neither of them slept. They held hands the whole time, not too tightly, but still tight enough to be grounding. Occasionally, Finnick would give Athena's hand a light squeeze, as though to make sure she had not distanced herself from him. Athena would return the pressure, to let him know that she was still there. They stayed where they were as the sky lightened around them and the sun began to rise, flooding their compartment with light.

They remained where they were, though, and didn't move at all until they heard Alayne's voice calling, "Finnick! Athena! We'll be in District Four soon! Where  _have_ those two  _gone?_ "

They released each other's hands hastily and moved away from each other, straightening up just as Alayne burst into the room, her makeup already applied and dressed in an outfit of loud colours.

" _There_ you are!" said Alayne, then frowned as she looked at them more closely. "What are you doing?"

Athena and Finnick exchanged looks, before the latter said, "Talking."

"We were too excited to get home," Athena added.

Alayne was still frowning, tilting her head to the side as though studying them. "Have you been here all night?"

"No," Athena and Finnick lied in unison. She realized this was everyday life for Finnick, pretending day after day there was nothing underneath the surface, keeping his own burdens inside of him.

Alayne stared at them for several long moments longer, as though trying to detect the lie. Evidently, she couldn't find it, for she only said, "Very well, then. Hurry along and get dressed. We have just enough time for a bit of breakfast before we arrive in District Four. And dress nicely! The cameras are always ready!"

She gave Athena a particularly stern look at that, before moving out of the room, heading towards the dining room. As Athena watched Alayne go, she realized with an unpleasant swoop of her stomach why Alayne gave Finnick those uncomfortable long, lingering looks... it was likely she wanted him but could not have him; maybe it was considered a conflict of interest since they worked together, or she could not afford him, or she had never had the opportunity to have him given to her as a gift or a reward, like he was only a  _thing_ to be possessed... the thought made Athena want to throw up the contents of her stomach. She did not ask Finnick about it, though. She knew now was not the time, and she could not stand it, anyway. Besides, she knew with a sudden certainty that she was right.

"We should go," Athena said softly, after a long silence.

"We should," he agreed hollowly, looking down at his knees.

Still, they stayed where they were for several long moments. The last thing Athena wanted to do after what he had told her was leave him, even if it wouldn't be for very long. But life was moving along, and as a friend with a kind smile and a soothing presence who already seemed too much like a distant memory had once said, the sun still rose. They needed to move along, too, to rise with it. It seemed that right then, Athena would have to be the one to lead. She would have to guide her mentor.

Athena rose to her feet, then looked over at Finnick. She hesitated for a split second before doing what she did then. She stepped closer to where he sat so that she stood above him for once, then kissed the top of his head, running a hand through his hair lightly, gently. She could just barely hear Finnick let out a breath that sounded almost relieved, could feel him relaxing slowly, and could feel him hand reach out to take hers, squeezing her hand lightly. Then, slowly, reluctantly, Athena moved away from him, and Finnick released her hand with the same sort of reluctance.

"I'll see you in a second, okay?" Athena murmured.

Finnick only nodded. She lingered in the moment for a split second longer, before forcing herself to return to her chambers. She took off her clothes and jumped back into the shower. She adjusted the water temperature until it was so hot that it burned her skin and filled the shower with steam, but she still could not rid herself of thoughts and visions of Finnick bound to Capitol citizens, with their dyed skin and hair and their false, simpering smile, of the things he had done to protect her... there was no repaying him, she knew, not for this. What was there to say, what was there to do in return to what he had done for her? There were no amount of thank you's and I'm sorry's and held hands that could properly express all the mess of emotions, dominate by gratitude, that she felt towards him now. There was nothing to do.

 _Nothing to do but be there for him,_ she thought, as she turned off the shower and waited for the steam to clear.  _He's been there for me the whole way through. Now it's time that I'm there for him, too._

Because she was realizing that it must have taken an enormous amount of trust in her for Finnick to tell her all that he had told her that night. Who knew the last time Finnick had felt like he could trust someone besides Mags that much. The least she could do was show him that he was right to put that trust in her.

Once she was out of the shower, Athena considered wearing the same outfit she had worn the day before. She would be recognizable when she finally went back home that way, but it suddenly felt wrong. She opted for black trousers, a white silk top, and the same leather shoes as before. Similar to something she would wear before, but there was still something different about it. She kept her hair loose, and with that, she headed to the dining room.

Mags and Alayne were already seated across from each other and eating, so Athena just slid silently in the empty seat next to Alayne, served herself, and began to eat. She didn't really want to, and it felt like she was chewing on and forcing down rubber. Still, remembering a time of eating tiny, burnt desert creatures, she ate as much of the rich food as she could handle. Finnick came around halfway in, striding in and sitting in the seat next to Mags. It was clear that he had taken the time to collect himself, because even when he and Athena interacted with each other, it was almost as if nothing had ever happened. Almost. There was still something gentler about the way they looked at and spoke to each other, a new understanding in the way they looked at each other, and an odd amount of significance in the mere action of Athena passing Finnick the salt. Alayne didn't seem to notice a thing, but Mags took one look at the two of them and seemed to understand immediately, smiling knowingly.

When they were finished breakfast, they stood by the door, watching and waiting for District Four to come into sight. Finnick and Mags stood on either side of her, while Alayne stood behind them. She would bid them goodbye on the station, where the cameras could record Alayne saying goodbye to her three victors. Athena found she didn't mind it; there was really nothing she had to say to Alayne that she couldn't say with the country watching, and she was sure Alayne didn't have anything particularly profound to say to her, either. Besides, Alayne was probably loving the opportunity to be on camera a little more.

When the ocean came into sight, Athena, Finnick, and Mags all straightened up with a sharp intake of breath, as though the water was calling the three District Four inhabitants to attention. The sun was high in the sky now, making the deep blue sea sparkle and shimmer in the light. It seemed impossible that a desert as barren as the one she had been trapped in for weeks could exist in a world that also had this ocean. She almost cried when she saw the ocean like that, calm and inviting, like nothing had changed, like it had been waiting for her to come back. It sunk in at last that she was home, the realization washing over her.

Before long, District Four's train station was coming into view. She could see already that the platform was full of cameras; people would doubtlessly be eagerly waiting to watch her homecoming. The train came to a stop. District Four, and the rest of her life, were waiting for her on the other side, as soon as those doors opened and she stepped onto the platform. Suddenly, the thought overwhelmed her.

"This is it," Mags said. She brought a hand to Athena's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You're home now."

She felt a hand in hers, and looked down to see that Finnick had taken her hand.

"You ready?" he asked.

Athena gave his hand a squeeze, before releasing it. Mags and Alayne had undoubtedly noticed, but nobody commented on it. When she answered, Athena opted for honestly.

"I don't know."

But when the door of the train slid open, Athena did the only thing she knew there was to do; she moved forward.


	21. XXI

**XXI**

 

Athena Maris had been to Victor's Village before. When Athena was very young, the instructors at the academy would take her and the other trainees her age on a field trip of sorts to the Village. They would walk down the lane between the tall, elegant marble houses, with the instructors telling them with a put-on sort of flourish that this could be  _all theirs_ if  _they_ brought pride to the district in the arena. They even got a tour of one of the unoccupied houses, able to get a better look at how beautiful the houses were on the inside as well as the outside. The house felt cold and unfeeling and indifferent to Athena then, and it felt the same way to her years later, even after living in it for over a month now. She didn't know how she remembered that her new house was the exact same one they went inside during those trips, but she was certain of it. They had tried to move her, her mother, and her sister into a house which had been abandoned when its old inhabitant had died several years before, but she had flat-out refused. Athena Maris had enough ghosts to be getting on with without having to worry about the ghost of the old victor who had lived there once.

Maybe it came from living in the same, relatively small house for seventeen years, but she didn't like how big this house was at all. She, her mother, and Calypso all had their own bedroom, and there were still three bedrooms that went unused. The rooms were all big, wide and spacious, even when they had brought in all their old furniture and bought new ones depending on what needed to be replaced, and she had no idea what she was supposed to do with all the extra space. And somehow, even with how much bigger and more spacious this house was, she felt like she was suffocating more than she ever had in her old house. She had begun doing more housework than she had ever willingly done before. It was a way for her to keep busy, and Athena liked keeping busy.

Now, Athena sat on the foot of her bed in her bedroom (another strange thing was that she got the master bedroom; she had tried to tell the Peacekeepers who helped with the move to put her mother's stuff there instead, but they had just looked at her and said, "It's your house, not hers." Athena had meant to switch their stuff, but when it came to it, she found that none of them cared much at all; none of the rooms felt like home anyway), staring blankly ahead of her. She was in a plain, long-sleeved black dress that fell just past her knees and shoes to match. Today was the day of her father's funeral. Everything had been accommodated for; she had paid for everything, planned everything (Calypso was too young, her mother too heartbroken, and the rest of her father's family had died long ago, leaving only her), painstakingly carved out the path. Today they would walk it.

She supposed it was quite the accomplishment that she had managed to plan and arrange the funeral in a little over a month, considering all the other responsibilities she had had to attend to as soon as she was back. There had been the obligatory celebrations. A banquet for the victor to which only the highest ranking officials had been invited. A holiday for the whole district with free food and entertainment sent in from the Capitol. Parcel Day, the first of twelve, in which food packages were delivered to every single person in the district. Parcel Day was easily one of Athena's favourite parts of being a victor. She had always felt rather isolated in this rich district by her need to apply for Tesserae to support her family, but she knew she wasn't the only one in Four who needed the help. After all, District Four might have been rich in comparison to other districts in Panem, but it was the poorest of the Career districts, and any luxury District Four knew was nothing in comparison to the luxury they lived in in the Capitol. Knowing that the people who needed it would be guaranteed a little extra food twelve times throughout the year, would have cans of applesauce, tins of meat, bags of grain, cans of oil, and even candy for them to eat was something about which Athena could actually feel good.

Athena looked up when she heard a knock on the door. Calypso was standing in the doorway, in a black dress and matching jacket, her hair parted into two loose braids. Their father's favourite hairstyle on her. Wordlessly, Athena extended an arm, and Calypso walked over to sit next to her, Athena wrapping her arm around her shoulders. Athena touched her mother and her sister a lot more now. It was a necessary reminder that they were really there with her again, that they weren't some dream that came from homesickness while she was in the arena. It was also a reminder that they weren't going to disappear from her the way her father had. Athena remembered how she had held her mother and her sister when they reunited in the train station, so tightly that her shaking hands had appeared steady and so closely that nobody could see the tears forming in her eyes.

"How are you?" Athena asked quietly, stroking the loose strands of Calypso's hair idly. "Did you sleep well?"

Calypso said nothing, but shook her head.

"Yeah, me neither," Athena murmured. "Have you been sleeping okay lately, though?"

"Most of the time, yeah," Calypso replied softly. "How about you?"

"Yeah, me too," Athena lied, careful not to look her sister in the eye. "Are you ready for today?"

Calypso nodded. "I think so. I don't have a choice. None of us do."

That was all too true. Athena just wished her sister didn't have to figure that out so early. She was barely ten. She should've had years and years before she felt this way.

"I want to talk," Calypso said suddenly, looking up at her sister. "At the funeral. I want to say something."

It was customary for words to be spoken about the deceased during the funeral. Athena would say something, as would her mother, and even Mayor Isla Trenton would speak. The mayor didn't speak at every funeral, and had Athena not won the Games, wouldn't have spoken at this funeral today. However, being the father of a victor upped her father's status considerably, apparently making him worthy of the mayor's presence at his funeral. It made Athena mildly sick and a little angry, but she still thanked Mayor Trenton for her consideration, and would probably have to do it several more times throughout the service. The option to speak at the funeral had been extending to Calypso, but due to her young age, it was stressed by many different parties that she was by no means obligated to do so.

"You don't have to," Athena said quietly. "Nobody is making you. It's fine if you don't."

"I want to," Calypso insisted. "I wrote something for him last night."

She pulled out a folded, slightly crumpled scrap piece of paper from her jacket pocket, showing it to Athena. Athena took it tentatively, unfolding it and smoothing it out, reading the writing there:

_After my father died, a lot of people came to tell me that they were sorry, because he was too young to die. I'm starting to think that there is no such thing as not being old enough to die, though. Life is too short for everyone. It leaves all of us too early._

_But that's not what I want to talk about, because I think everyone knows that already. Instead, I want to talk about my father. My father used to make me, Athena, and my mother all laugh until we had tears in our eyes, especially if he saw that we were sad. He used to carry Athena and I around the house like we were feathers. He taught me how to swim and all my favourite songs to sing. My favourite is_ Turn of the Tide _. It was his favourite, too. I always loved that we had that in common._

_It's been almost two months since his death and I'm still not used to the fact that he's not here anymore. I'm not used to the fact that he will never make us laugh or teach me anything new anymore. Some people have told me that this pain will make me stronger. I don't care about being stronger, though, I just want my father back. But I know he is gone from us forever, so I guess the best I can do is say that I loved him. I loved him, I still do, and I always will._

Athena couldn't help herself; she read the speech again, then once more. She noticed splotches on the paper, especially near the end, making the ink run. Calypso had cried while writing this. When she finished her third reading, Athena blinked back tears with difficulty and wrapped her sister in a tight hug.

"Read it," Athena said, placing the paper back in Calypso's hands. "If you want. If you can. You should read it."

Calypso nodded, placing the paper in her jacket pocket. Just then, their mother appeared at the door, with a dark dress on her body and darker circles under her eyes.

"It's time," she said simply.

Athena got to her feet slowly, her legs feeling like lead. Calypso followed after her. Athena led the way silently down the stairs, out the house, her mother and sister on either side of her. The sky above was uncharacteristically gloomy for District Four at this time of year, dark and cloudy, as it had been for nearly three weeks now. Athena thought it was only right that the sky grieved with them. Douglas Maris would never see the sun again, why should any of them?

Halfway down the pathway to their house was Finnick, dressed more formally than Athena had ever seen him, in a black suit and tie. It was a given that Finnick was invited to the funeral, as were Mags and the other victors in the Village, with whom Athena was friendly already. Finnick didn't say much of anything, simply trailing behind the three Maris women, but his presence behind her was comforting. Mags came out from her house as well, dressed in a long, black gown. As if on cue, the other victors stepped out from their own homes and walked along behind Mags, all dressed for the occasion. Silently, the group walked.

First was the burial in the graveyard, and then the ceremony and the service in the nearby Hall of Justice. The graveyard was in the area of high cliffs that overlooked the sea. Everything had already been arranged, the grave dug (Athena thought about how the lifeless body of her father would lie there for eternity, and fought off nausea with difficulty), and from the looks of it, the other guests all seemingly arrived. Athena was surprised by how many people were there. It seemed at least half the district had come to honour Douglas Maris. She knew it was only because he was her father, though. The father of a victor. Many of them did not truly care for him.

Her father's casket was open. He was dressed in his finest clothes, a sharp black tuxedo and tie he saved solely for weddings and Reapings. He looked more peaceful than Athena had seen in a long time, his face smooth instead of creased with worry or pain. His hands were clasped together on his stomach, his eyes closed. Douglas Maris had really always been so handsome, especially when everything that burdened him in life did not show through in his appearance. He looked so calm like this, that if not for how still he was, the fact that his chest wasn't rising and falling the way it should, she might have thought he was only sleeping, ready to bounce back and continue being her father in a few hours. Seeing all these people here, though, Athena wished she had opted for a closed casket instead. The idea of her father being exposed like this to what seemed to be half of the district made her sick. When Mayor Trenton stepped forward to speak, however, the casket was closed, Athena took back the sentiment. The barrier that barred her father from view only made it more pronounced that Athena would never see him again. That had been her last glimpse of her father, and she didn't take full advantage of it, she didn't drink in every last detail, didn't commit it to memory, didn't try to send some sort of telepathic message to him the way she should have.

 _But what does it matter, though?_ Athena thought, tears stinging her eyes.  _He wouldn't hear you. He's never going to hear any of us ever again_ _._

The burial was not much different from other funerals Athena had attended. Mayor Trenton spoke the traditional Speech of Passing, but Athena hardly listening. She simply stared at her father's casket, wishing she could see past the smooth metal door to look at him one last time. She wanted to burst forward, to throw herself on the casket and beg - for what, she didn't know. For them to not bury him, to not put yet another barrier between herself and her father? For them to stop with the false concern and put-on grief and just admit that they were only here for Athena Maris' father, not Douglas Maris himself? For her father to stop being dead? Instead, however, she stayed right where she was and stared at the coffin.

"... and so you go from the sea upon which you lived, and so you will return to the sea once more," said the mayor, wrapping up the speech. "May your journey into the deep be one of peace, restfulness, and glory, until we reunite once more."

As Mayor Trenton finished her speech, the coffin was lifted and lowered into the ground. At last, Athena had to look away, staring down at the ground beneath her feet, her lip trembling dangerously. She didn't look up again until the sound of the shovels burying him further and further into the darkness stopped. When she look up, there was only a tombstone, whose message - along with his name, the day he was born, and the day he had died - Athena had chosen painstakingly:

_The tide changes, but I am unmovable,_

_The tide turns, and I was strong through it all._

They were his favourite lyrics from his and Calypso's shared favourite song,  _The Turn of the Tide._ He sand the lyrics all the time, to himself and to the rest of the family no matter what the occasion; in happy times, in hard times, and everything that laid in between. Athena had found herself hearing her father sing those lyrics every now and then while she had been in the arena, found that it had soothed her. The thing her father had always liked about the lyrics and the song in general was that it didn't just speak of one set ending that was happy or sad; instead, the lyrics spoke of everything from love and heartbreak, victory and loss, life and death. The song tried to show that where a person ended up was not what was important; what mattered instead was the person they became along the way. It reminded her of her promise to Rowan to not let the Capitol win, to not simply become another pawn for them to play around with however they chose. It felt right to put the lyrics on his tomb; not only because he loved them so much, but because she felt like it summed her father up perfectly. Despite all the struggle and illness and weakness that he had endured, and even though she had not been there for his final moments, Athena knew that Douglas Maris had been strong through it all, right until the very end.

After the burial, the gathered people made their way over to the nearby Hall of Justice for the rest of the service. Athena's eyes wandered over to the ocean for just a moment before she left, listening to the lapping waves. She closed her eyes, and it sounded almost like some creature, perhaps a giant from the depths of the ocean, was mourning with her. Athena couldn't tell if it made her feel more or less alone. She shook the thought off, though, opening her eyes again and heading for the Justice Building, holding her mother's and her sister's hands tightly the whole way there. This place was more sombre than other parts of District Four, which tended to be much more bright, making it perfect for Reapings and funeral services. On either side of the raised platform that lead into the Justice Building, there were large photos of Douglas Maris, dressed in his best suit. At the center of the stage, there was a microphone, placed on a podium. All around, on the stage and around the courtyard, on otherwise empty tables, there were flowers of varying kinds, filling the air with their scent. On another occasion, she would've thought they smelled nice, but today it overwhelmed her and made her head spin. Chairs were arranged in the courtyard, with an aisle along the middle for people to move freely. Only a few seats in the front row were reserved; for Athena, Calypso, and her mother, for other family members outside of their immediate family, for the mayor and other District Four officials who made an appearance to honour the father of Panem's newest victory, and things along that line. Everyone else was free to sit where they liked. Finnick and Mags sat behind Athena on either side of her, and the rest of the victors sat by their sides. Athena could feel their presence behind her, and the feeling comforted her.

When everyone was seated, Mayor Trenton took to the stage, holding cue cards, which she placed on the podium. "Welcome, everybody. It's wonderful to see you all today, though I find myself wishing sorely that we could have all gathered here under happier circumstances. As you all know, District Four and all of Panem had just sustained a tragic, tragic loss..."

With that, Mayor Trenton launched into her speech about Douglas Maris, about how he had been a good man and a hard-working citizen of District Four. Athena could hardly stand to listen to it, the way she spoke of her father's death being a tragic loss for all of the district, for all of the country, as if any of them truly cared about him... they didn't even care about him now that he was dead; they were only there because his daughter was now a victor. And she knew Mayor Trenton didn't truly mean a thing that she said. Mayor Trenton was somewhat familiar with her family and didn't seem to mind them, but Athena knew there was no chance that she really meant all that she said about his death being such a devastating loss. The words rang false in Athena's ears, fabricated and rehearsed. There was a good chance that Mayor Trenton hadn't even written the speech herself, or it was the same recycled speech that she used every time she spoke at funerals, just with swapped names. Athena could not get the possibility out of her mind. And as she sat there, listening to Mayor Trenton's insincere words, it felt like she was back at her Reaping all over again.

"... but now," the mayor said, finally concluding her speech, "let's hear some words from the people who knew this wonderful man best. First, let's welcome Douglas' wife, Marella Maris."

Athena squeezed her mother's hand before she stood up, and Calypso have her an encouraging smile. When her mother was at the podium, she seemed to take several moments to compose herself before speaking, taking shaking breaths. Athena was seated close enough to the stage to see the tears glistening in her mother's eyes, to see the tracks where tears had stained her mother's cheeks during the funeral. Athena felt her heart sink heavily to the pit of her stomach while she watched her mother up there. She wanted to be up there with her, supporting her, even if it was only silently, but she knew her mother wouldn't appreciate it. They had spoken about it the previous night; they both felt it was best if they made their speeches alone. Athena regretted agreeing to it now, though, but she stayed where she was, anyway.

"I met Douglas in school, in the academy," her mother began at last, gripping onto the podium tightly, and Athena knew it was to steady her shaking hands. "He was in my year. We were both sort of misfits in our own way; neither of us really fit into our own little groups, and we must have sensed it in each other, because we sort of gravitated towards each other. I didn't want to like him, at first. He had a reputation to him that made him seem like the sort of person I should stay away from. I realized before long that none of it was true, and he turned out to be the kindest, most loving man I've ever met.

"He loves...  _loved_ me so fiercely. There was never a moment where I could doubt it with him, because he proved it to me every possible chance he got. Falling in love with him was... it didn't feel like falling, really... falling implies that you didn't have a choice in what you were doing. It felt more like... like walking through a door that brought you home," there was a watery smile on her mother's face while she said the words, and tears were spilling down her face. Athena had heard the story of how her mother and father met and fell in love, had heard it more than once, but never like this; it was never a story that made her mother cry. "And that's how it felt... every time I was with him, no matter where we were, it felt like I was home.

"He loved our two girls just as fiercely. He loved and adored them with his whole heart and soul, he gave them everything he had. He wanted to protect them more than anything, it tore him apart when he couldn't. But he supported them, every step of the way. I had always wanted children, but I used to be afraid of it; he was the reason I stopped being scared. He was the person I trusted enough to have kids with, and he proved I was right to trust him every day after we had Athena, and then Calypso.

"Now... I feel... I feel lost. It's hard, when the person who was home to you gets taken so soon... too soon... I tried to prepare for this, we all did. As sick as he was... we all knew it was a possibility, we all tried to prepare ourselves for the worst... but I was never really ready to lose him, not for a minute. My daughters are keeping me grounded, I'm grateful for them more and more everyday, but they can't save me from how it feels to sleep by myself after almost twenty years of him being by my side... how it feels to not have him dance with me in our kitchen... to not have him kiss me good morning and good night... it feels..." her mother rocked back and forth where she stood, biting her trembling lip, clearly trying to stop herself from full on sobbing in front of everyone, "it feels like someone ripped out a part of myself. It feels like a part of me is missing. And I hope... I pray that it'll grow back one day, but it won't be the same. Not without my Douglas... I miss him more every day. I love him," she said, and she spread her hands helplessly while she did, taking a deep, shuddering breath. "That's all I have left to say. I love him. I'm in love with him, and that won't ever change. I love him."

She finished her speech with that. Almost as soon as Athena's mother stepped away from the podium, wiping away the tears that were falling thick and fast down her face, Mayor Trenton was stepping to the podium, saying, "And now, let's welcome one of Douglas Maris' daughters - Calypso Maris."

Athena had talked to Mayor Trenton quickly just before she made her speech, informing her that Calypso decided to talk. Now that the time had come, however, Calypso looked a little hesitant. She looked up at her with big, almost fearful eyes, not moving from her seat.

"Calypso, are you ready?" Athena asked quietly, bringing an arm around her sister and ignoring the people who were looking in their direction. "Remember, you don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I do," Calypso reassured her quickly, her eyes widening even more. "But I'm... I'm a little scared."

"Hey, it's okay," Athena said. "It's okay to be scared. How about this - if you get scared and you feel like you can't keep going, just look at me. Just pretend you're saying it to me, okay?"

This seemed to soothe Calypso enough. She nodded slowly, before getting to her feet and making her way to the stage. She passed their mother on her way to the stage, and stopped to give her a quick hug. Athena watched them with her heart feeling like it was breaking into tiny pieces, and saw that her mother looked like she was on the verge of breaking down. When her mother rejoined her in the seat next to her, Athena reached out to her and took her hand. Her mother squeezed her hand. They looked over at each other and exchanged weak smiles.

"I didn't know she was going to talk," whispered her mother.

"I didn't either, until right before we left," Athena replied quietly. "She wrote something last night. She showed it to me. I think she should read it, and she really wanted to."

"Do you think she can handle it?" said her mother, concern evident in her voice.

"I gave her some advice for if she got scared," said Athena. "I think she liked it. If it gets too much for her, I'll be up there with her in a heartbeat."

They needed to fetch a box for Calypso to stand on, since she wasn't quite yet tall enough to stand over the podium. Once she was on the box, she adjusted the microphone a little so that it suited her height, took out her speech from the pocket of her jacket, and smoothed it out. Calypso took a deep breath, and began to read. Calypso soldiered through the speech from start to finish, reading every word she had written during what was probably the dead of night. More than once, she faltered, suddenly looking overwhelmed by what she was saying, by the painful reality she was being forced to face. During each of those times, she looked over at Athena, who stared at her steadily, nodding and smiling at her encouragingly. The action, the show of support, proved to be enough, because soon Calypso found it in herself to pick herself up and keep going, with a strength that brought about a fierce pride and a deep sadness as Athena watched her little sister. With every word Calypso spoke, Athena found it took an enormous amount of willpower not to cry right then and there.

As Calypso finished her speech, Mayor Trenton was stepping up to the podium once again, saying, "Please welcome our third speaker, Douglas Maris' eldest daughter, a face you have likely come to know quite well recently - Athena Maris."

Athena looked over at her mother, and made herself look as confident and as stable as she could, smiling at her briefly, before getting to her feet and making her way towards the stage. She crossed paths with Calypso as she walked, who grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Did I... was I good?" Calypso asked, hesitation evident in her voice.

Athena smiled weakly at her. "Perfect."

Calypso smiled back at her, and headed back towards her seat. Athena continued on her way to the stage, making her way to the podium at the center of the stage. Mayor Trenton smiled at her encouragingly. Athena could only bring herself to nod back at her. Before she knew it, she was at the podium, staring out at the sea of faces; she could only guess how many of them actually cared about Douglas Maris, cared that he was dead. She hadn't written anything down, hadn't really prepared anything at all for this. She wished she had. Every time she had tried, though, the pain of it all threatened to overwhelm her and she could not manage to write anything coherent. She brought her hands to the podium, gripping the sides of it tightly to keep her hands from shaking. Her eyes wandered over to the front, where Calypso, her mother, Finnick, and Mags were all sitting in the same vicinity, their eyes on her. Their expressions were all encouraging, and Athena gained some courage from it.

"One time," she said finally, "when I was about nine or ten, I got in a bit of trouble at school. That sort of thing didn't happen a lot, I usually kept to myself in school, but one of the instructors caught me using one of the spears from the training rooms. I'd already been using a spear for about a year, so I knew what I was doing, but they still gave me a not to give to my parents saying that I had been wielding weapons irresponsibly and that I was a danger to my fellow classmates. It's... worth mentioning that the only thing I was  _doing_ with the spear was dipping it in paint and using it like a paintbrush on one of the canvases." That addition got a few laughs. "I still got the note to take home, though. I was supposed to show it to my parents and get their signature, proving that they saw it and would discipline me appropriately - take away my spears and my paint, I guess.

"My mother wasn't there when I got home - I think she was at work - so it was just my dad. When I showed my dad the note, I was so nervous that my hands were shaking and I kept thinking about whether or not I'd get kicked out or if I'd have to run away or something. My dad read it over, and then he looked up at me and asked me what I was doing with the spear, so I told him. After, he asked me if the painting was any good. I told him I thought it was pretty good, so he signed the note for me, but told me to bring it to him tomorrow. The next day at the academy, I managed to find the painting I made and snuck it home for him to see. He took one look at it, laughed out loud, and said, 'My daughter, the artist,' put it up in his and my mother's bedroom, and that was the extent of my punishment. He did tell me to stick to paintbrushes next time I wanted to get creative, though," Another round of laughter.

"The point of that story, though, is that I came home expecting to be punished terribly by my father and instead he made me smile and laugh. If anything sums up my father perfectly, it's that. If I told you about every single time my father made me feel better - even made me laugh or smile - when I felt terrible, we'd be here for months. But it's what he did, every chance he got. My mother was, unsurprisingly, completely right, when she said that with my father, you never had to doubt that he loved you. He loved you so fiercely, with his whole heart and soul. He didn't leave any room for doubt. One of the ways he showed it was through making you laugh and smile, even when you were sad -  _especially_ when you were sad. Another way was the way he'd sing and dance with you around the house. He'd trip over his own two feet and be able to make a joke out of it. That's... it's one of the things that's so cruel about him being gone. He's the one person who I know would be able to cheer everyone up, and instead he's gone."

Athena's voice shook dangerously then, and she stopped dead for a moment, looking down at the podium, trying to will tears away. She managed to stop them from falling down her face, but she could still feel them brimming in her eyes. She continued anyways.

"The one thing that really kept me going while I was in the arena was the fact that if I got out, I could go back to my family," Athena said. "And then I got out, and right after I was finding out about my father. It feels... it feels like something had been taken from me... like something's been ripped away from me. And I know I brought him too much stress and too much grief in that arena for him to handle on top of everything else he had," Athena's voice broke while she spoke, and she could not help the tears that fell from her eyes. "And I know there's nothing I can do to reverse that damage I did to him. I just wish I had a chance to say goodbye. And I hope... I hope he knew how much I love him."

And since she couldn't stand to be up there crying in front of everyone for a moment longer, Athena walked off stage at that. She moved back to her seat quickly, retaking her place in between her mother and sister. Calypso hooked an arm through hers and gripped onto her tightly. Her mother reached forward and stroked her hair comfortingly, and Athena placed her head on her mother's shoulders.

"He knew," her mother whispered. "He knew you love him."

From there, Mayor Trenton offered the floor to anyone else who wished to say a few words about Douglas Maris. Athena hadn't expected much, but several members of her family from her mother's side went up to the stage to say a few words about her father, as did former coworkers of his, all sharing stories that made the audience grin and laugh and almost made Athena crack a smile. After that, however, the time for speeches was over and the rest of the service was upon them. Food was laid out on the tables along the edges of the courtyard, and everyone was free to help themselves. Athena wiped her tears and forced herself to be calm. She wanted more than anything else to spend the time quietly with her mother and Calypso, but she knew she could not. She would have people to receive, to talk to and shake hands with and thank for their sympathy, and she would likely have to keep doing it for the rest of the service.

After nearly half an hour of thanking people for their condolences, she made her way over to Mayor Trenton, knowing she was have to thank her once again for her generosity and for honouring them by speaking and even being present at this funeral. When she found the mayor at last, she was in a group with some other District Four officials, talking quietly with them. When Athena arrived, however, making it clear she wanted to talk to the mayor, they were quick to disperse. It was odd for her to think that her status as a victor was enough to intimidate adults in government positions, but she supposed it had its benefits.

"Thank you again, Mayor Trenton, for everything you've done with this service," said Athena. "You've been such a big help, it's been such a relief when it came to organizing everything. And not just with the funeral; I can't thank you enough for giving my family's food rations to my sister while I was gone. That made a huge difference for us. And of course, it's such an honour for you to have attended and spoken personally."

"Oh, you're quite welcome, Athena," said the mayor, reaching forward to take her arm in her hand. "I remember having to deal with my own parents' deaths and their funerals. It felt like a weight on my shoulders that was too big for me to carry alone. Any help I got meant a lot.  _I'm_ the one who's honoured to know that I was any help at all."

Mayor Trenton pulled her into a hug. As Athena hugged her back, she suddenly felt quite bad for her resentful thoughts towards her. The mayor had always been kind to Athena, even long before her Games and her victory; it was unfair of her to assume that she was there only because of the excitement of Athena being a victor now, rather than simply out of the goodness of her heart. Besides, she knew if the mayor didn't show up to the funeral, it would have been considered strange due to Athena's recent victory in the Games. Athena couldn't really blame her for all her insincere speeches; she was only doing what was expected of her. Wasn't that what Athena had been doing her whole life, especially since her Reaping? Wasn't that all anyone ever did?

When they pulled away, Mayor Trenton said, "If you don't mind, I must return to my colleagues..."

"Oh, yes, of course," Athena said quickly, bowing her head.

Mayor Trenton nodded at her with a smile, before walking away in the direction of the District Four officials that had melted away when Athena had arrived. Athena was looking around, trying to figure out who she was probably supposed to exchange pleasantries with next, when she heard a voice calling out to her behind her. Athena turned and saw Iris Dunne walking directly towards her, dressed in a black dress made of a light material, her hair pulled back in a bun. Athena, however, had no intent on talking to Iris Dunne. She had seen her one other time, when Athena had made her speech at the academy that was required of all District Four victors to make. On that occasion, she had avoided Iris Dunne, who had tried to approach her then, too, at all costs. Whatever Iris wanted to say to her, she knew it would be about the Games, and Athena was decidedly uninterested in hearing about what Iris had to say about the Games, especially if it was about how much of an embarrassment she had been or how Iris had still deserved the opportunity more.

"Look, Iris, whatever it is, save it," Athena said shortly, already beginning to walk away. "Whatever you're going to say, I'm really not in the mood for it - "

"No, wait, Athena," Iris said, grabbing onto an arm to stop her. "I'm not going to say what you think I'm going to say."

Athena moved her arm out of Iris' grip, but stayed where she was, turning to face her, her arms crossed, saying, "Go on, then."

Iris looked relieved, as though she had been waiting for permission to speak. She took a deep breath, as though bracing herself, before saying, "I wanted to say I'm sorry."

Athena wasn't entirely sure what she had been expecting, but it certainly wasn't that. She stared at Iris for several moments.

"What?"

"I said I'm sorry," Iris said again. "For what happened to your father. I didn't know him well, but I met him a few times and... and he seemed like a good man. But I'm not just sorry about that. I'm sorry for what I said - what I did - the day of your Reaping. I was completely out of line and... I was wrong. About everything. Watching you in the arena... made me realize that this district... this country doesn't work the way I thought it did. I just wish I realized it sooner."

Athena still didn't say anything. She was stunned more and more into silence with every word that Iris spoke.

"I just wanted to say that," Iris said. "And that I hope all the best for you. I'll see you around, yeah?"

And then Iris was walking away before Athena had the chance to remember how to speak, leaving her there. Just as she was recovering from the shock that was that conversation, Hudson was walking up to her.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that you'll catch bugs if you leave your mouth hanging open like that?"

It was only then that Athena realized that she had her mouth open, hastening to close it. Hudson smiled in amusement at her, before her expression turned to one of concern. She moved closer to her, grabbing her arms in her hands.

"And how are you holding up?" she asked, studying her carefully.

Athena shrugged. "As best as I can."

"I always knew you were strong," Hudson stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, you were the first one to tell me I had a real chance of making it out," Athena nodded. "And considering right before someone was telling me there was no way I was making it out alive... it meant a lot."

"I don't just mean that, though it is a relief to see you back home where you belong," Hudson said, shaking her head. "Coming back from everything you'd been through to the news about Douglas? And coming back and arranging all of this and keeping yourself from losing your head? That's a strength you don't see everyday."

Athena shrugged again. "I don't see what else there was to do."

"That's exactly my point," said Hudson with a knowing smile. "That's a show of your strength."

Athena smiled back faintly, before saying, "Look, Hudson, I know I've mentioned this before, but thank you so much for giving my parents work on  _The Adventurer_ while I was gone. I know they probably weren't the most skilled hands to have on deck, but it really helped a lot. It means a lot to me - "

"Don't you even mention it," said Hudson, waving a hand airily. "For you and your family, I'd do it all again. You've got good people on your side - and that includes me. You'll make it through this, no matter how you feel now."

Hudson gave her arms a light squeeze, before moving away again. Athena watched her as she went for a moment, before turning around, looking for the people who she desperately wanted to see again. She found the walking towards her, her mother holding Calypso's hand as they approached her. Athena walked towards them, closing the gap between them.

"There's so many people here," Calypso said, frowning. "No way that Dad was friends with all of them..."

"I have a feeling a lot of them will go away soon," Athena murmured. She didn't specify why, but she had a distinct feeling that a lot of these people would see no reason to stay now that they had seen Athena Maris, the pride of District Four, make her big speech - unless they wanted to talk to her personally or something of the sort.

Athena hadn't been with her mother and sister for that long when she heard someone else approaching. She whipped around to face them, tensing up slightly. Ian the pastry boy - Ian Shad was his real name, she needed to stop calling him the pastry boy - was walking towards her. He was dressed in a black suit and tie, his usually messy hair combed to neatness and his face more sombre than usual. Apparently, the evident tenseness in Athena's posture and the speed with which she turned to face him threw him off, because he stopped walking, putting his hands up as though to show he meant no harm. Athena looked on either side of her and saw that her mother and sister seemed alarmed by her reaction, too. She supposed that even a month later, her mind was still in the arena, immediately assuming that sudden movement was a sign of danger.

"Sorry, maybe this isn't the right moment?" Ian said uncertainly. "I just wanted to talk to you for a moment."

"No," Athena said quickly. She suddenly felt warm all over for reasons she did not quite know - or perhaps for reasons she did not want to admit to herself. "It's fine."

She murmured to her mother and sister that she would be back soon, before allowing Ian to lead her away, to a part of the courtyard that was out of earshot of most of the other guests. They were by one of the tables with drinks, and Ian grabbed two, offering one to her. She hesitated for a split second before taking it with a smile. They clinked glasses and drank, giving them an excuse not to talk. For a moment afterwards, they stood across from each other in an awkward, tense silence, Athena not quite able to meet his bright eyes.

"I'm sorry about your father," he said finally. "I didn't know him very well, but I can tell he's really important to you."

"Thank you," Athena said for the umpteenth time that day, though it did feel sort of different with him. "I appreciate it a lot."

Ian just smiled and nodded. There was another silence, until he spoke again.

"I watched you on television," he said suddenly. "Well - I mean - everyone did - but I just mean - I was rooting for you the whole way through," he finished lamely.

Athena made herself smile. She didn't ask if he had known Kai Emerson at all, didn't ask how he felt watching those other tributes, didn't ask if he cared at all. Athena had never wanted to talk about the Hunger Games with Ian the pastry boy; she had always thought the odd but pleasant stage of their relationship would be immediately destroyed if they ever did. Now she was being forced to talk about it, and she found that she had not been wrong.

"Thank you," she said again. "It's nice to know I had someone else in my corner."

"I did get worried a lot, though," he continued. "You know, that you wouldn't make it out alive."

"Yeah, you and me both," Athena said with a weak laugh. She noticed he had taken a step towards her. She didn't say anything about it, taking another sip of her drink.

"And I am really glad to see you again," he was saying. "I kept trying to think about what I'd say to you when you got back. I wanted it to be just right, but I couldn't think of anything good enough, and then I didn't know how to approach you, and it never seemed like the right time."

Athena was tempted to ask what made him think her father's funeral was the right time, but decided against it, instead only saying, "Oh, yeah? But you're talking to me now. What brought that about?"

Ian shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "I figured I needed to just go for it. Sooner or later it would be too late. I didn't want to throw away my shot."

Athena was left with the unpleasant sensation in the pit of her stomach that brought her to the uncomfortable conclusion that it  _was_ too late and whatever shot that he had - that they had -  _had_ been thrown away. He was standing closer to her now, so that she had to look up at him more than before. He was looking down at her, his free hand on her shoulders, drifting over her neck, tracing circles with his thumb. For a split second, he turned into Lana Ryker, about to wrap her fingers around her throat and squeeze the life out of her, but she blinked long and hard, and when she opened her eyes, it was only Ian again.

He had moved even closer to her in that time, though. She looked up at his eyes, those bright eyes that Hudson always teased her for liking so much. His eyes really were beautiful, too, big and warm and hazel, but it felt wrong looking at them now. Athena did not belong here. This was not where she was supposed to be. Perhaps in a different time, in a different life, this would all be perfect and she could be with Ian Shad and even let herself fall in love with him, but it felt wrong after everything she had been through. This wasn't where she belonged.

She felt terrible about the whole thing and didn't know how to say any of it to Ian, but she was spared from having to figure it out, because then Mags was appearing by her side, taking her arm and saying, "Athena... family is looking... you. I... lead you... them."

Athena nodded, relief flooding through her. Ian had taken several steps away from her at Mags' appearance, moving his hand away from her neck, as well. She didn't expect to feel as glad about it as she did. She hadn't realized how trapped she had felt until then.

She turned to Ian and said, "I have to go - "

"Of course," Ian said immediately, with the grace to try and mask his evident disappointment. "Family is important in times like this, I get it. Maybe another time?"

"Maybe," Athena repeated hollowly, and allowed herself to be pulled away by Mags. She didn't know how to express her gratitude towards Mags, so she just shot her a grateful look and hoped Mags understood. From the look on her face, she did - she always did.

Finnick was standing a little ways' off, staring at the spot where Athena and Ian had been talking, where Ian still stood. His brow was furrowed and he had the makings of a scowl on his face. When he saw her and Mags, he walked over to join then, exchanging significant glances with Mags.

"I see the rescue was a success," he said with a nod.

"The rescue?" Athena repeated.

"We could tell... you were looking for an out," Mags explained. "We gave... one. Your family...  _does_ want... see you, though."

Athena didn't feel very surprised by this. She looked over at Finnick, who still had that bothered expression on his face, and said, "What's wrong with you?"

But as he looked down at her, his face softened almost immediately, and he said, "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

They reached Athena's mother and sister at that moment. Finnick shook her mother's hand and pulled Calypso into a hug, since he was still in the process of getting her mother to like him and had long since won Calypso over. Mags hugged the both of them, since Mags had that quality to her that made everyone want to like and trust her, so she had won over both Athena's mother and her sister in almost no time at all. Athena was glad that her mother and sister didn't clash with Finnick and Mags. It had been extremely important to her that they at least got along, even if they didn't love each other.

Her mother and sister were eating, and though they didn't have very much food, Athena was relieved. Their eating habits had both been irregular since she had returned home, so that she was often all but begging them to at least have a little to eat. Athena couldn't be too hard on them, though; she hadn't been eating much lately, either. She thought she would be inhaling all the food she could get her hands on after spending so long living off scraps, but it often felt like chewing on rubber and like she would throw it up at any time. Maybe she was adjusting to being able to eat as much proper food as she wanted; maybe it was the grief getting to her. She couldn't quite tell.

Finnick turned to her, saying, "Have you eaten?"

"I will later on," she said, trying to wave away the question.

He frowned. "When's the last time you've eaten?"

She had to think about it, frowning and saying, "Um - "

But Finnick was shaking his head, saying, "If you have to think about it, it's been too long."

With that, he offered her a hand. In no mood to try and argue it, she took his hand and allowed herself to be pulled away towards the food. Indeed, she noticed as they walked, the number of people in the courtyard had diminished greatly already. When they reached a table with food laid on it, Finnick offered her a plate, but she was momentarily distracted by something else. Drilled into one of the nearby pillars in the courtyard of the Justice Hall, she saw something small and circular, something that looked suspiciously like a camera lens... but that couldn't be... even  _they_ wouldn't do something like this...

"Athena?" Finnick said, and though she wasn't looking at him, she could hear the concern in his voice. "Athena? What is it?"

She ignored him, walking towards the pillar until she was right in front of it. The circular object was at her height so that she could stare straight at it, and there was no mistaking it, it was definitely a camera lens. Normally, this would not be surprising. She knew there must have been cameras placed everywhere so that the Capitol could watch them, could make sure that everyone was doing what they were supposed to be doing, but this was different. This camera had clearly not always been there, and it had not been placed to survey the activities of the Districts, but instead to record what was happened specifically in the courtyard. Athena looked around her, and suddenly she was finding more cameras everywhere. There might have even been cameras placed in the graveyard. They were there to record her father's funeral. Somehow, they had found out that the father of Athena Maris, the newest victor of the Hunger Games, was dead and were now broadcasting his funeral for the country to see, so that the Capitol could simper and sigh about what a sad story that was.

She shook her head profusely, reeling from what she had discovered, fighting off disgust and fury along with everything else that she was feeling. Could nothing be hers? Did every single part of who she was now belong to the Capitol? Was that what her life would be forever now that she was a victor? She couldn't even be left to mourn, to grieve with her mother and her sister in peace?

 _No,_ she thought, feeling revulsion tear at her.  _They need to have that, too. They won't rest until they've taken everything from me and I'm not anything at all anymore._

She didn't even realize Finnick had come up to her until he was right beside her, whispering in her ear, "Come with me."

But Athena just hook her head harder, and she could feel tears stinging her eyes again as she said, "They're never going to stop - "

"Athena, please, come with me - "

"Finnick - no - you don't understand - "

"Yes, I do, which is why I need you to come with me," he said.

It was only then that she detected the urgency in his voice. She looked over at him, and just as she did, he gave her a look, as though asking for permission. She nodded her head once, and he took her hand once more, leading her away, but this time it was away from the courtyard, away from people, walking until they found a relatively abandoned alley in which to hide away. It was highly unlikely that there were any cameras in this place, and she realize that that was probably exactly why Finnick had taken her here.

"Finnick," she said, trying very hard not to break down completely, "Finnick - there are cameras - they're putting the whole damn funeral on television for everyone to watch - "

"I know," Finnick said grimly. "I know. It's why I brought you here. There aren't any cameras here. If you need to take a minute for yourself, this is the place to do it. You know, where it won't be broadcasted for all of Panem to see."

"How did you know this place wouldn't have cameras?" she asked.

"I've been here before," he replied vaguely, running a hand through his hair, and before she could ask him to elaborate on it, he said, "Never mind that. Is it okay if I stay here or do you want to be alone?"

Truthfully, all she had really needed was to be away from those damn cameras, and now she was. She did not want Finnick to go away; in fact, she found that she wanted him to stay quite badly. Athena simply sat down on a stack of crates, before offering another stack that was next to hers to him, indicating that he was free to sit himself. He wandered over to the stack of crates and sat down. For a moment, they sat in silence. Athena steadied her erratic breathing, felt her heart rate become more stable. She stopped crying, wiped away the tears that had already fallen down her face without her control.

"I hate them, Finnick," she said finally. "Every last one of them. I hate them all."

It was a rather bold sentiment to trust Finnick with, she knew. Even if there weren't any cameras, there was still always a certain amount of fear that came with expressing anything that was anti-Capitol, because even thought she didn't specify who 'they' were, it was evident she meant the Capitol and all its citizens. There were people she had known all her life that she wouldn't trust with such a statement, but she knew that Finnick would not betray her trust, nor would he condemn her for what she had said. Athena knew she probably wouldn't feel quite this way in a few months, when it was time for her victory tour and she saw Alayne, her stylists, and her prep team again, knew that she probably wouldn't feel this way even a few days from now, when she thought about it a little more rationally. But right then, as she thought about the Capitol citizens avidly watching her cry on stage, about how they had taken her away from her father and robbed her of any chance or a proper goodbye, about how they were indirectly the reason he was even dead in the first place about all the awful things they had done to Finnick and Mags, she could not help but feel the way that she did.

"That's okay," said Finnick. "I feel that way, too, sometimes." He thought about it a moment, before adding, "A lot of the time. As long as you remember not to let it take over." That sounded much easier said than done at that moment, though. He seemed to realize this himself, because he said with a small smile, "I make it sound real easy, don't I? I haven't figured it all out yet, either. But you learn more as time goes on. That's the thing you get lots of when you're a victor: time."

Athena couldn't tell if having a lot of time stretched out before her was appealing to her or overwhelming. She only nodded, though. There was another long silence, before Finnick held out the palm of his hand in the space between them. Not a demand or even a request; only an invitation, if she wanted. Athena felt herself smile, just slightly, and it did not feel forced at all. She reached out and took his hand, interlocking their fingers silently.

She wasn't sure how long they stayed there like that, their hands joined together, but she did know that she felt an intense disappointment when Finnick said, "We should get back to the service."

"We should," she repeated blankly, but she found that, though she wanted to rejoin her mother and sister and support them, she did not want to go back to forced pleasantries and charming people who didn't care about her father at all.

"If you want," he said suddenly. "I'm sure Mags and I can team up and charm anybody who's just there to get a peek at the newest victor. I know it's been a while since our Games, but apparently our dazzling effect still hasn't gone down much, so I think we can distract them for the rest of the service."

Athena looked over at him suddenly, gratitude rushing up inside of her. "Really? You'd do that?"

"Of course," Finnick said immediately. "You should be with your mother and your little sister right now, not telling people that you don't know and your father probably didn't know that you're so happy that they showed up to the funeral."

Athena let out a breath, relieved. "What did I do to deserve you two?"

Finnick only said, "You never had to do anything at all."

He didn't elaborate on the statement at all, only releasing her hand. She didn't expect to feel as disappointed about it as she did. She didn't realize how free she had felt in that moment until then. Finnick got to his feet, straightening out his clothes, and Athena followed suit.

"Are you ready?" Finnick asked, turning to Athena, as though waiting for her cue to go.

"Not really," she said honestly.

She knew there was nothing else for them to do, though, so she made a gesture towards the opening of the alley, indicating for them to go. Together, the two of them walked, away from the alley and back to the courtyard, and Athena prepared herself, as best as she could, for the new waves of grief that awaited her there.


	22. XXII

**XXII**

 

Athena knew it was time to face the inevitable. Nearly two months had passed since her return to District Four, and yet Kai Emerson's pin, given to him by his lover, was still there where she had placed it when she arrived - in one of the drawers of her bedside table. From there, she could never see it unless she took it out of the drawer (which she never did), but the mere knowledge that it was there burned at her at all times, especially when she was in her bedroom. Still, she kept it where it was, instead of returning it to the person who had given it to him, the way she had vowed to do. At first, she had the excuse that she was still adjusting to the giant shift in her way of life as a victor, that she was too distracted by the planning of her father's funeral to focus on the pin. But at this point, she had had a sufficient amount of time to adjust to her new life, and her father's funeral had come and gone long ago, and still the pin remained where it was, instead of in the possession of its rightful owner.

She didn't quite know why she had kept the thing as long as she had. There was the fact that she didn't actually know who the pin belonged to, she supposed; perhaps she had been holding out on some sudden revelation that would come to her, revealing who Kai's lover had been. Still, she knew it was ridiculous to do, and that she would have to go out and figure it out sooner or later, and the sooner the better. It might have been - and probably was, she knew, though she didn't like admitting it - the fact that pin was the only thing she had left of Kai, the only thing she had that proved he had been real, that anything in her Games had been real, and not some terrible, vivid hallucination that haunted her at all times. But that would not do either, she knew. That golden pin was not hers. It belonged to this person that Kai had loved so much; they deserved this last piece of him, far more than she did. It was selfish of her to hold so tightly onto something that was not hers, that she did not deserve.

As she thought about all of this one evening, she vowed to deliver the pin to the person it belonged to the very next day, a plan already forming in her mind. When she went to sleep that night, nightmares came to her the way they did every time she managed to get any amount of sleep. That night, she dreamt that she was back on that rooftop with Kai, moments before his death. This time, instead of her spear and shield, Athena was holding that golden pin, and Kai, instead of trying to kill her, was desperately trying to snatch it back from her. The roof collapsed and he sank into the darkness of that black wave before she could do anything about it, and she was still holding that golden pin that was not hers. The sound of the canon sounding above confirmed his death. She felt excruciating pain in her stomach and looked down to see that she had been stabbed through with her spear. The sound of the canon signalling her own death woke her up.

It took several moments to orient herself when she woke up. She was not in the arena. She was in her bedroom in her new house in Victor's Village. She still had the pin, though. The canon wasn't actually a canon, but the sound of someone knocking on her bedroom door.

"What is it?" she snapped, burying her head in her hands as she felt her heart rate begin to slow down gradually.

"Someone's at the door," came Calypso's voice from the other side of her door. "It's Murphy again. I tried to tell him that now wasn't a good time, and then Mom did, too, but he wouldn't leave. We didn't want to wake you up, but people really only listen to you know?"

Athena let out a deep sigh, rubbing her face blearily. The last thing she wanted to do was deal with Murphy Arno, a fellow victor who was also an instructor at the academy who had been insisting that she teach a lesson with him on how to wield a spear. She did like Murphy, but it was getting tiring to have to tell him no over and over again. Knowing she had no other choice, though, she threw back the covers and hastily pulled on a sweater over her pajamas. She opened her door abruptly, but stopped dead when Calypso was right in front of her.

"I'm sorry, Athena - " Calypso began, and she really did look apologetic as she looked up at her older sister.

"It's fine," Athena cut across her, moving around her and heading for the staircase.

"Athena - " Calypso said.

"It's fine," Athena said shortly, and descended the stairs quickly, heading for the door and throwing it open, immediately saying, "For the last damn time, Murphy, I'm  _really_ not interested - "

But she stopped dead when she saw who was actually at the door. It was Finnick and Mags, who were definitely not about to ask her to come teach a lesson at the academy with them.

"Sorry, Sleeping Beauty," Finnick said, raising an eyebrow as he eyed her pajamas and her messy hair, before turning to Mags and saying, "Can you believe this? It's like we're not good enough for her."

"You're funny," Athena deadpanned. "Calypso told me that Murphy was at the door."

"He was," Mags said. "We know you don't like him pestering... about teaching at... academy... we sent him off..."

"And we made sure he knew to stop asking you," Finnick added matter-of-factly.

"How'd you do that?" Athena asked, frowning.

"We told him that the last time you tried to teach someone how to fight with a spear you almost cut their arm off," he replied casually. "Which is all fine and well when you're in the arena, but doesn't really work for a school environment with a bunch of small children, so..."

"I don't know if I love you or hate you right now," Athena said, very seriously, though she felt a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Let's go with the second one," Finnick said easily. "Anyway, we just came to check up on you."

"We could go on a walk," Mags suggested.

Athena smiled faintly. They did this every now and again in the mornings to make sure she was alright. It often took a lot of willpower just to get out of bed, something Finnick and Mags seemed to know very well. She struggled to find the words to describe how much it meant to her.

"You're sweet," Athena said. "I have to walk Calypso to school, but we can go after - or - actually..." she turned around towards the stairs and called out, "Calypso!"

Calypso appeared at the landing of the stairs, staring down at her. There was uncertainty written all over her face, as though she was anxious about how Athena would react to her. Athena gave her a gentle smile, a silent apology for snapping at her that she hoped her sister would accept, before she spoke again.

"How d'you feel about Finnick and Mags walking with us to school?"

As she expected, Calypso brightened up, grinning from ear to ear. Calypso had quickly grown to love both Finnick and Mags, so Athena knew she wouldn't complain about them accompanying them on the way to the academy.

"That sounds great!" Calypso replied, then hastened to finish getting ready for the day.

Athena turned to Finnick and Mags. "How does that sound to you two? We can go on a walk after we drop her off."

"Sounds great," Mags repeated. "Calypso's a lovely girl."

"Yeah, the best Maris by a long shot," Finnick added, and laughed out loud at the look Athena shot him.

Athena got herself dressed quickly, since she was still in her pajamas. When the three of them dropped Calypso off outside the building of the academy, many students shot admiring glances at them and impressed glances at Calypso for casually being flanked by three victors on her way to school. Athena didn't much like the glances she got from others, but she did sort of like that she made her sister seem cooler to her classmates. Once Calypso was in the building, Athena, Finnick, and Mags turned around and headed on their own path towards the beach (the sand white underneath her feet, rather than the yellow that had once stretched for miles on all sides), talking while they walked along the shore. Athena found she liked talking with Finnick and Mags a lot, especially when they talked about things outside of the Hunger Games and the Capitol and the Victory Tour that awaited her. Near the end of their walk, when they were starting to make their way towards Victor's Village again, Athena told them about her plan to return Kai's pin to its rightful owner.

Finnick and Mags offered to go with her. They would have really come with her, too, and stand behind her every step of the way, if she asked them to do it. She didn't, though. It felt like the sort of thing she should do alone. And besides, she told them, they were celebrities - not just celebrities, but legends of District Four and Panem alike, in their own right. Their appearance would certainly cause a stir among the academy students, and she wanted this to be as quiet of an affair as possible.

"And you think you're not a celebrity?" Finnick asked, raising his eyebrows.

Which was a fair point. Victors from District Four were required to make a speech at the academy for the students, meant to motivate the students to train harder and bring about more excitement and enthusiasm for the Games. When it came for Athena to make her speech, she had been rather uncertain about the whole thing; would anyone really listen to what she had to say when most of them knew her more as a student they walked the halls with than a victor? She hadn't exactly been the most intimidating, impressive student to walk through the doors of the academy, either; she didn't think the perception of her would change too much, even despite bringing victory and honour to District Four. On the contrary, however, all the students gathered in the auditorium to listen to her, hung onto every word, and afterwards, people rushed forward, eager to talk to, to shake hands with, to hug, to tough Panem's newest victor. As she was leaving the building again, she heard students whispering eagerly about their one-on-one interactions with her, while their other friends would lament jealously about not getting a chance to speak to her in person.

Yes, Athena had become a much bigger deal than she had initially anticipated. Making her way into the academy without drawing attention to herself would be difficult. But she had planned around that; add Finnick and Mags into the mix, and it became much too difficult to make her plan work. Her plan was to, dressed as unassumingly as possible, make her way to the academy just as the day was ending. As a victor, even thought she no longer had to go to school, she could come and go as freely as she liked, could even teach lessons if she chose to (she always acted like she was considering it when she was asked by one of the instructors or the headmaster of the academy, but she knew already she would never do it), but at the end of the day, the courtyard was full of students who were lingering about before making their way home, giving her a perfect cover for her to move about, undetected. Once there, she would locate the people who she knew used to hang around with Kai and ask if they knew who had given it to him. From there, she would find the person who gave him the pin, return it to them, and get out of there. If any recognized her and asked why she was there, she would just say that she was finding her sister to walk her home (which she really was doing, since Athena used to walk with Calypso back home every day and they hadn't quite relinquished the habit yet; besides, Calypso hadn't quite mastered the walk from the academy to Victor's Village, rather than to their old home).

So when the three of them returned to Victor's Village and she was back in her house, Athena waited until it was near the end of the school day and changed into the plainest clothes she could find. She threw a sweater on top, pulling up the hood to hide her face somewhat and placing the pin carefully in one of the pockets. With that, calling out to her mother that she was going to walk Calypso home, she headed back outside, shoving her hands in her pockets as she walked. She waved to Lillian Brooks, who was reading outside, apparently not teaching at the academy that day. Lillian seemed to have a tendency to read outside, and had been especially taking advantage of the sunny weather that had been returning to District Four lately. Lillian only gave her a nod in return. Athena couldn't tell if Lillian actually liked her or not. She had asked Mags about it once, and she said that if Lillian didn't like her, there wouldn't be any room for confusion, and left it at that. Athena didn't really know what she meant by that, but had to assume that Lillian was much more openly hostile with people she did not like. Athena just continued being as friendly as she could with Lillian and hoped it would work out. Life in Victor's Village was difficult to get used to, but Athena didn't think she was doing too badly, all in all. She thought about what Finnick said about how it was a relief to be surrounded with people who had all been through the same thing as him, and decided that she was understanding what he meant by that more and more everyday. She couldn't imagine still being surrounded by her old neighbours on a daily basis. Still, none of it felt quite right without her father. She, her mother, and her sister tried to heal as best as they could, though, regrowing as much as they could together.

Athena arrived at the academy just as the day was ending and students were spilling out onto the courtyard. The academy building really was quite beautiful, standing taller than most buildings in District Four (though it could hardly compare to buildings in the Capitol) and made of brick, with vines weaving themselves elegantly along the wall, taking various shapes, including Panem's and District Four's respective seals. Despite the old-fashioned design of the place and how long it had been running, the building had a distinctly new feel to it, so that it wasn't such a surprise to find so much of the advanced facilities from within.

Athena weaved her way through the crowd discreetly, keeping her head down, trying to figure out who she should consult about the owner of the pin. It wasn't so long ago that she had been just like them, standing among them, chattering with her fellow classmates until the time came to walk home with her sister, but now it felt like she was utterly different from these people in every way; it was almost like she had never known any of them at all, a great divide between them, separating and isolating her. Finally, she found a group of boys that Athena remembered Kai had been standing with at the Reaping. She hesitated, taking a deep breath, bracing herself, before making her way towards them.

When she reached them, she said, "Hey, this is going to sound weird, but... can I ask a quick question?"

For a moment, they looked confused, but then their faces turned to those of surprise when she lowered her hood to reveal her face more clearly. They exchanged meaningful looks before turning back towards her. Athena wondered if they hated her, if they resented her at all for making it out instead of their friend, or if they just accepted it as part of the Games and didn't hold it against her. Maybe they thought it was Kai's fault, some failing on his part that he hadn't made it out alive.

"Sure," said one of his friends, who had flaming red hair and freckles all over his face. "Ask whatever you want."

Athena took the pin out of her pocket and held it up for them to see. "Any of you know whose pin this is?"

They examined the pin carefully with furrowed brows, before the red-haired one said finally, "That was Kai's token, wasn't it?"

"Yes, but he said someone gave it to him," Athena said. "Who was it? Do you know?"

They looked thoughtful for a moment, before a boy with dark skin and a shaved head said, "I think it was Marlin who have it to him."

"Marlin?" Athena said, perking up at the familiar name, a lead for her to follow. "Marlin Sedna? The boy in my year?"

"That's the one," said the boy. "But you won't find him here, he always goes straight to work after school, he works at - "

"At the markets, I know," Athena said, because she had more than enough memories of selling seafood that she had caught on  _The Adventurer_ to the stand at which he worked. She put the pin back in her pocket, saying, "I know where to find him. Thank you."

"Athena!  _There_ you are!" an exasperated voice called. Athena turned to see Calypso hurrying towards her. "I've been looking all over for you! You usually wait by the gates."

Athena shot her sister an apologetic look. "Sorry, Lypso."

"What are you even doing here?" Calypso demanded, looking at the group of boys with a frown.

"Nothing," Athena said, before any of the boys had a chance to speak, shooting them a look that warned them not to say anything. They looked like they didn't need to be told twice; one of the perks of being a victor was that, unless they were authority figures (and even sometimes if they were), people tended to do what she wanted them to do.

"Well, then, let's go," Calypso said impatiently. "I'm tired and I want to go home."

Athena had to grin at the expression on her sister's face, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close, saying, "Sure thing." She turned back to the group of boys, nodding and saying again, "Thank you."

They nodded back with murmurs of "No problem," and "Any time."

"Why are you thanking them if you weren't doing anything?" Calypso demanded suspiciously.

"I'll tell you later," said Athena, and though she hadn't initially been planning on it, she decided she really would tell Calypso and her mother about the pin. Later on, though, after she had made sure that the pin was back in Marlin Sedna's possession where it belonged.

Athena walked back to Victor's Village quickly, wanting to get to the markets as fast as she could. She didn't realize how fast she was moving until a panting Calypso was telling her to slow down, and she turned to see that Calypso had been jogging to keep up with her long, fast stride. When they reached their house in Victor's Village, Athena let Calypso make her way to the front door but hung back at the end of the garden path. Calypso didn't realize that Athena wasn't by her side until she reached the door. She turned back around to look at her sister, frowning.

"Aren't you coming?"

"I've got a little business to take care of first," Athena replied. Before Calypso could ask, she added, "I'll tell you and Mom about it later. I'll be back soon."

She waved her sister goodbye and began walking away, back out the wrought iron gates that stood between Victor's Village and the rest of the district. Still, just before she left, however, she looked behind her to make sure that Calyso had safely entered the house before continuing on her way. The whole way there, she thought about Kai Emerson and Marlin Sedna, both separately and together. That was who Kai loved, not some beautiful girl who would spar with him in the academy, but the handsome boy who Athena knew worked hard to support his family. It made sense that Marlin was the one to give Kai the pin; his mother worked in a shop that sold all sorts of accessories, including pins. Everyone knew that, because Annie Cresta worked at the same shop and always teased Marlin about all the embarrassing stories about him told by his mother; everyone in her year always looked forward to what stories Annie would have next. It wasn't too much of a stretch to think Marlin could get his hands on all the beautiful, golden pins that he wanted. She knew why Kai had lied about it, though; it wasn't the sort of thing the Capitol would have wanted to hear.

Victor's Village was a little further from the beach and the docks than her old home had been, but it was also closer to the markets, despite being located in a rather secluded part of the district, meaning it wasn't long until she reached her destination, walking past the shops and buildings to that slightly shadowy square she had frequented so many times before. Athena found Marlin quickly; he was organizing the money in the till while his boss, Salton, spoke with a potential customer. Marlin really was quite handsome, with brown skin, long, wavy jet black hair, deep brown eyes, and stubble that lined his jaw. She had been itching to get to the markets beforehand, but now that she was there, she hung back, hesitant. She had no idea what she would say to him, especially how she would explain waiting nearly two full months to give the pin back to him.

Still, she couldn't put this off any longer, so she strode over towards Marlin's stand, pulling her sweater tighter about herself despite the summer heat (District Four's summers were as hot as she remembered, but it was a humid heat that Athena was now learning to love, rather than a dry heat that used to feel suffocating). She arrived just as the customers Salton had been speaking to walked away. Salton straightened up at the sight of her, wiping away dirt and dust that did not exist from his counter, clearly trying to make a good impression with a victor, even though Athena had been here long before her victory in the Games.

"And what can I help you with, Miss?" he said, smiling welcomingly. "Anything in particular I can get for you?"

"Actually, I was just wondering if I could talk with Marlin here for a second," Athena replied. "You know, in private."

"Ah, old school friends, I bet, huh?" said Salton heartily, clapping Marlin on the back. "Sure, you two take as long as you want!"

Athena and Marlin exchanged looks. They had barely interacted with each other in school or outside of it, and they had never gone out of their way to speak to each other. It was an opportunity for a break that Athena knew Salton rarely gave Marlin, but he still had hesitancy written all over his face.

"I don't know if I - " he began.

"Please," Athena said, giving him a significant look. "It's important."

Marlin gave her a hard look, and she knew then and there that he resented her. He thought Kai should have been the one to make it and resented her for being the reason he wasn't. She scolded herself for the way her heart sank; she could not have possibly expected him to like her.

"Fine," he said finally, closed the till with the money in it, and followed as Athena lead the way, away from the stands and towards a deserted, secluded part of the marketplace.

When she was quite sure they were alone and no one was within earshot, she said, "I have - um - a delivery for you."

Marlin looked confused, so Athena fished out the pin from her pocket and held it out for him to take. Marlin looked stunned, his eyes widening and his mouth falling open. He was frozen for a moment, before reaching out slowly and taking the pin from her. He held it carefully in his hands, turning it over in his fingers and examining the joined hands closely. He even held it up to the light for a few seconds, as though checking to see if it was authentic. When he was finished his examination, he looked back over at Athena. He didn't looked stunned anymore; it looked as though anger was beginning to brew slowly inside of him.

"I was wondering if I'd ever see this again."

"I'm sorry," Athena said, because she didn't know what else to say; any excuse or explanation that she could possibly give him would fall flat.

"What took you so long, exactly?" he said in a tight voice. Athena could not bring herself to say any of the explanations she had come up with in her mind, so she said nothing. "Oh, never mind, what was I expecting? I guess I should just be happy you bothered to give it back to me at all, huh? Probably too caught up in all your pretty dresses."

She still said nothing, her eyes lowered to the floor. Her shame was a real, tangible thing. It stood in the space between her and Marlin, but the latter apparently couldn't see it.

"You've really got nothing to say?" Marlin demanded, looking at her in disbelief. "Even after what happened to him?"

She was oddly relieved that he didn't say his name out loud. If the name was said out loud, then Kai would appear there, standing next to her shame, staring Athena down right alongside his boyfriend.

"What do you want me to say?" she said helplessly. "I tried to save him. I almost fell into that tar myself trying to get him out. I would've held onto him forever if he hadn't forced me to let go - "

"Yeah, well, you clearly didn't try hard enough," he snapped.

"I know," Athena replied, because she often thought of what would have happened if her injures hadn't left her so weak, if she had had the strength to pull Kai out before it was too late... "But - but he made his death his own, and I know that was important to him - "

"You think you know that, do you?" Marlin snarled suddenly. "What exactly do you know about him? Nothing. You don't know a damn thing about him and you never did."

The worst thing about what Marlin was saying was that it was all true. The thing that made Kai's death even worse to Athena was that she had no idea where she had stood with him. She didn't even know if they had really ever been friends. She really did like and care about him, but she had no clue whether he had felt the same way about her. One moment, he was acting resentful towards her, and the next they were laughing and joking with each other. She had no way of knowing whether everything she knew about him was true or if they were all just lies he told for the cameras. There were two things about Kai of which Athena was certain, though, and she said them to Marlin then.

"I know two things," she said, as calmly as she could. "I know that he wanted something to keep a hold of who he was, and for him, it was making sure his death was his own. And I know he cared about you very, very much. It's why I wanted to give the pin back to you."

"You sure took your sweet time with it," Marlin scoffed. Athena said nothing; there was really nothing she could say for herself. "You know what  _you_ should know?" he said, and stepped forward, getting right in her face as he said it, "You should know that it should have been him. It should have been Kai."

The use of his name for the first time made the blow hit that much harder. Worst of all, though, was that Marlin had only said what she had thought more than once before.

"I know," she said, lowering her eyes to the floor.

A short silence; and then, "W-What?"

Athena wasn't looking at him, but she could tell Marlin had been expecting a different reaction from her. He had probably expected her to get angry, to yell at him and become violent, and he seemed to be quite at a loss about what to do or say now that she hadn't. He was so much like Kai; aiming to provoke her, trying to obtain some sort of justification for the resentment he was directing at her.

Slowly, Athena raised her eyes to look at him and said in a low voice, "Did you think I'm not upset about his death? That it didn't affect me? Or did you maybe think that I'm happy about it, since it's what made me win? Or did you think I think he deserved it, that I think I'm somehow better and deserve to live more and that's why I'm the victor?" Marlin didn't respond, so she kept going. "Whatever you thought, you were  _wrong_. You really think I don't know that me winning was just a fluke, that all it came down to was him standing at the wrong place at the wrong time? You think I don't know that he deserved to make it out just as much - probably even more - than I did?" It was her getting in Marlin's face as she spoke now. "Well, I do! It stays with me all the time, it's all I can fucking think about sometimes! But it's the price you pay for being the one that makes it out, and I can't do anything about it. Except give that pin back, so that's what I'm doing. I don't know what else you want me to tell you."

Slowly, Athena backed away from him again. For a long time, there was silence.

"I'm glad you put up those signs," he finally said quietly, looking down at the pin instead of her. "The last thing I want is for him to be forgotten."

"Well, he's not forgotten," Athena said. "Not by me, at least. If that means anything at all."

Another silence, before Marlin said, "A year and a half ago I didn't even know he existed. Now look at what I've become... I always thought love didn't happen unless it was going to be kind and gentle and patient, which it was, but I also thought once it was there, it wouldn't leave you... they never taught you what to do when the other person dies.. I always thought I was prepared for the possibility that he'd die, but I never was, not for a second... especially when it happened so close to him making it out."

Athena knew that Marlin would have her dead in an instant if it meant having Kai come back to him. She couldn't blame or resent him for it, though.

"I'm sorry," she said weakly. "I'm sorry about how you feel, I'm sorry that he's gone, I'm sorry that he had to go the way he did, I'm sorry we all got trapped in a game none of us could win. I'm sorry that all I can do for either of you is give you back that pin. But there's nothing else I can do and there never has been. So that's what I did. I'll... I'll let you get back to your own life now..."

Athena stuffed her hands in her now completely empty pockets and turned around, beginning to walk away. She hadn't moved very far away, however, when Marlin called her back, making her come to a stop.

"You're not going to tell anyone, are you?" he said. "About me and him?"

She had already assumed that Marlin would want his relationship with Kai to remain a secret, considering Kai had referred to him as a girlfriend rather than a boyfriend. Athena still planned on telling her mother and sister about returning the pin to its rightful owner, but she supposed she would simply stop short of saying who that rightful owner was. She wouldn't even tell Finnick or Mags who it was, unless they somehow already knew. She trusted the four of them deeply, but this was not her secret to tell.

Athena turned to face him, removing her hands from her pockets to spread them, feigning cluelessness as she said, "What's there to tell? I'm just delivering a missing object."

Marlin nodded once in understanding, looking relieved. Athena turned back around and continued walked away. He didn't call her back that time. She took it as a sign that she had done what she needed to do.

Athena was walking back out of the marketplace when her view was blocked by the appearance of a tall figure. Ian Shad was standing in front of her, looking down at her with those same hazel eyes, blocking the light of the sun. She realized then that she was just about to pass the pastry shop at which he worked. She should have been more careful; this was not a conversation she wanted to have today.

"I was wondering when I'd see you around here again," said Ian. "But you're not - ?"

"Not selling anything," she confirmed, removing her hands from her pockets and holding them out to prove that they were free. "I'm not working at the docks for another few weeks. I kept trying to come in, but Hudson said that they've got more than enough hands working on deck right now. I think she's mostly just trying to stop me from coming back in before I'm ready, though."

"Do you think you're ready?" he asked, mostly out of curiosity.

"I thought I was ready pretty much as soon as I got back," she said. "I love the ocean, I'm always ready to go back on the water."

"Well, we've all missed you around here," Ian said, though she got the distinct impression he was mostly referring to himself.

"I've missed being here," she replied, and it was true; she missed selling and trading, and she missed all the people she encountered when she did it, even people like Adrian, whose company she generally found deeply unpleasant.

"How have you been holding up?" he asked.

"Fine," Athena said, because she knew she really couldn't tell him anything else. "How have you been?"

"I've been alright," Ian replied. "Except... I keep thinking... I remember we had some unfinished business the last time we talked..."

He moved in closer to her, and before she had time to do much of anything, he was leaning in and kissing her. He really wasn't a bad kisser, she thought. Her certainly seemed to know what he was doing, and it made her think about how Ian Shad was someone who would have been capable of being very good to her - in another world. A world where she hadn't been Reaped, where she had never gone into the arena, where Athena was the same person she had been before her Reaping. But Athena was not capable of loving Ian the way he deserved, and Ian probably wouldn't be able to love her properly now, anyway. He didn't really know her; he only saw her as the girl she was before her Reaping, or some brave, shining victor, but Athena was neither of these things and could not be those things for him. There were parts of her now that he would not be able to understand, that he probably would not be able to love - not that she expected anyone to be able to love those parts of her. She felt terrible, because Ian really was a great person and he deserved something nice and something beautiful, but she could not give it to him.

She pulled away gently, shaking her head and saying, "Ian - I'm really sorry - but I can't."

"You need more time?" Ian asked. "That's fine. I can give you space."

She wished she could say yes to that, but she knew even more time would not be enough. "Ian, you're great. You're kind and a good person, but I can't do this. Look, I'm not the same person I was before - before everything happened. Whoever you think I am, I'm not. And who I am now... isn't someone that could make this work."

"What do you mean?" he said, frowning.

"I mean I can't give you what you deserve," she said, spreading her hands helplessly. "And you probably couldn't love me properly, either. I'm sorry. I wish it was different, I really, really do, but..."

"It's okay," Ian said, though she could tell that it wasn't. "It's fine. I knew I was probably overreaching with you, anyway... I always had been..."

"Oh," Athena said, shaking her head profusely, "no, no, that's not it. It's nothing that you did wrong, but it's just - there are universes between us; it's not something we can just get over. I'm not the person you think I am or the person you want me to be. I  _can't_ be that person. It's better it's settled now than later."

There's a long silence, before Ian said sheepishly, "I guess it was wishful thinking to think we could've just continued where we left off after everything, huh?"

Athena shrugged, smiling guiltily. "I don't blame you, really. I would've liked for it to work, too, but..."

"It's okay," he said again. "I mean, I won't act like I'm feeling great right now, but - but I'll be fine. I'll get over it. You've got enough without worrying about me, too."

Athena wanted to touch him somehow, to hug him or even just shake his hand, but it felt wrong to do now, so she just said tentatively, "I - um - I'll see you around?"

"Yeah," he said, smiling bracingly. "Yeah. I mean it, the marketplace doesn't feel right without you. I'll be glad to see you walking around whenever you come back."

She smiled back at him. They gave each other a nod, as though indicating to each other that they were in understanding. Then, with that, Athena and Ian went their separate ways. She felt a whole variety of conflicting emotions as she walked back to Victor's Village. Athena knew, in her mind and even in some part of her heart, that what she had done - with regards to both Marlin and Ian - had been the right thing to do. She liked to think that someday, she would believe it with her whole heart, and she might be able to feel a little better about herself. For now, though, she forced herself to think of her mother and her sister who were back at their house, awaiting her. She thought about what she would tell them when she returned. She thought about the other victors who lived near her. She looked up at the sky; the sun was still high in the sky with no intention of setting for another few hours, meaning Lillian Brooks would still be reading her book when Athena arrived. Murphy Arno would have returned from his day teaching at the academy. He would probably be messing around with Noah Moore, as they were the best of friends, though the former was nearly ten years older than the latter. Athena didn't see much of the Nereus twins (they kept to themselves, mainly, in the house they lived in together), so she probably wouldn't see them when she arrived. She might visit Finnick or Mags or both of them for a while, if they weren't busy. She didn't know when she started actively seeking them out, but she really did like spending time with the both of them. With all these thoughts in mind, Athena left behind what needed to be left behind and walked instead towards the new life that awaited her. 


	23. XXIII

**XXIII**

 

On the morning Athena Maris' Victory Tour was meant to begin, Douglas Maris' tomb was staring her in the face. It was very early; it was still dark outside, the sun just beginning to peek out from over the horizon, tinging the dark blue sky with warmer, yellow and orange light. Winter had come to District Four, and it was a colder one that what residents of the moderate district usually experienced. There was even some snow on the ground, frost crunching underneath her leather boots. Athena's muscles were clenched tight against a cold to which she was not accustomed. There would be no sand storms here, but if another lethal black wave came roaring towards her again, the odds of her outrunning it successfully this time around were certainly not in her favour. She knew she should get up, move around, stretch her muscles and remove the stiffness from her limbs, but she just remained where she was sitting in front of her father's grave, ignoring how cold the ground she was sitting on was and the way the cold stung her face.

This wasn't the first time she had been to her father's grave since the funeral. She had been doing this several times a week for a few months now, visiting her father's grave at the crack of dawn when she knew no one else would be there. It was her time alone with him. She would visit the grave at other times, too, when her mother and sister wanted to, but this time belonged only to her and her father. She talked to him sometimes, but most days she went were silent. There wasn't much left to say, really. Her mother and sister, Finnick and Mags, they were all very concerned about her, she knew. They warned her not to let her grief take over her mind. She promised them that she wouldn't, and the next morning, she would sneak out to the graveyard while it was still dark outside and spend the sunrise with her father's tomb. She had a feeling they knew what she was doing, or someone at least suspected her, but she hadn't been confronted about it, and she wouldn't stop until she was. She felt back about worrying them, but she was not ready to let go of this habit that she had developed.

The sun was rising more and more, beginning to bathe District Four in its light. Athena wished, not for the first time, that she could control the sun, that she could stop it from bringing her into the day that she had been dreading for so long. They would all be in her new house in Victor's Village by noon. The reporters, the camera crews, even Alayne Stentor, her old escort. Athena wondered if she would have the same blood red hair as before, or if she had already switched to a new unnatural-looking colour. She wondered if Alayne would be as irritating as she remembered, or if that would change at all now that Athena was a victor. There would be more, too. A staff to tend to her every need on the long train ride. Her prep team to beautify her for every stop they made, with Tatiana, the stylist who made her stand out in the first place in the Capitol.

Athena would have quite liked to put the Hunger Games behind her entirely. She would have liked to move on with her life and treat her time in the arena as some terrible dream that the rest of the country had also happened to have. It was probably already an unrealistic desire, but the Victory Tour that would start today made this especially impossible. It was strategically placed almost halfway between the annual Games themselves, so that the Capitol could keep all the horrors fresh and immediate. The districts weren't only forced to remember the Capitol's power over them, but to celebrate it. This year, Athena was the star of the show, so she would have to travel from district to district, to look down at the faces of the families of the children she had killed..

Athena still couldn't control the sun, and as always, it still rose, so Athena prepared herself for her walk back to Victor's Village. She looked from the slowly lightening sky back to her father's tombstone. She let out a deep sigh.

"This would be a lot easier if you were here," she murmured. She brought her hand to the tomb itself, running her fingers along his name, which felt colder than usual under her fingers due to the weather. "I'll be back soon."

With that, Athena got to her feet. She took a few moments to stretch out all her muscles and joints, before bringing her coat more tightly about herself, turning her back to her father's tomb, and walking away. She took the longer route back to Victor's Village, so that she passed by her old home, the place where she had been raised. The place had been cleared out of their belongings, leaving it empty. Nobody had moved in yet, and nobody ever would, because it still technically belonged to the Maris family, since it was officially the designated dwelling of her mother and sister. Even though they were living with her right now, if Athena were to die before them, they would have to move back to the old house. That was the thing about being a victor; none of the immunity that she was granted extended to her family. Calypso was not exempt from any of the Reapings; if her name was called and no one volunteered, she would be forced to enter the arena. Her older sister's status as victor did nothing to protect her. The same thing would go if Athena were to ever have children; those kids would still be eligible to compete in the Games when they turned twelve, and Athena would not be able to do anything to save any of them. It was one of the many reasons Athena didn't want to have children.

As selfish as it probably was, Athena liked that they got to keep their old house and that nobody else would be able to move in and change it. Not that anyone probably would even if they could, considering how old, cramped, and rundown the place was; it was really the sort of house that people only lived in when they had nowhere else to go. In spite of that, Athena had learned to love her old home and found herself missing it often. Sometimes she went in, but today she decided against it, continuing on her way.

She walked slowly, so that by the time she was walking through the wrought iron gates of Victor's Village, the sun was almost completely up. Victor's Village was almost completely deserted from the outside - save for Murphy Arno and Noah Moore, who were wrestling on the frost-covered grass of Noah's lawn, apparently undisturbed by the early house and the cold weather. They were there almost every morning as Athena returned to Victor's Village, not always wrestling, but always messing around together. It was a familiar sight that Athena had come to appreciate seeing every morning.

"Oh, there she is!" Murphy said, pushing Noah off of him to point at Athena, who drew closer to them as she walked towards her house. "You're back earlier than usual!"

"She needs to get ready for her big moment," Noah said with a grin. "The woman of the hour! Your Victory Tour starts today, right?"

Athena nodded. "They'll be here at noon."

"Ah, you poor soul," Murphy said, shaking his head, though he was grinning wickedly. "The Victory Tour's torture."

"My Victory Tour wasn't too bad," Noah said.

"You weren't  _sober_ for most of  _your_ Victory Tour, Moore."

Noah grinned. "Good point."

The two of them started laughing, and Athena couldn't help but join a little. She really did like both Murphy and Noah; she liked the former even more now that he had stopped pestering her about teaching a lesson at the academy. Apparently Finnick and Mags' story about her almost cutting off someone's arm had really had the desired effect.

Athena reached her house, digging out her key from her coat pocket. She looked around at the houses around her. Finnick's was directly across from her, and beside him were the Nereus twins - who, at that moment, were looking at her through their sitting room window. She wasn't surprised that they were awake so early; Athena had seen them awake at such odd hours that she wouldn't be surprised if they told her that they just never slept at all. Not that she could judge them for it, since she had also been awake at those odd hours. The Nereus twins reminded her a bit of Lillian Brooks in the sense that she could never tell if they liked her or not. They noticed that she noticed them, and quickly closed the curtains of the sitting room. Athena frowned, her brow furrowed, not understanding.

She turned to look back over at Murphy and Noah when she heard them laughing, just as Noah said, "They're a little hard to interpret, huh?"

Athena only nodded, a little sheepish.

"They like you," Murphy assured her. "They wouldn't bother staring at people they don't like."

"I see," Athena mused, though she made a mental note to ask Finnick and Mags about it later to make sure that was true. She then nodded at Murphy and Noah, saluting them and saying, "As you were, gentleman!"

"See you when you come back, Maris!" they called back, saluting her in return.

With that, Athena unlocked the door to her house, eased it open, and walked inside silently as not to wake up her mother and sister. When she closed the door again, though, she saw to her surprise that her mother and sister were already awake and in the dining room. They moved into the hallway at the sound of the door closing, staring at her, the length of the hallway standing between them.

"Where were you?" her mother asked, frowning.

She knew she had practically been caught in the act, but she still tried to play it off as best as she could, unbuttoning her coat and saying, "I went on a walk."

Athena had always been given a lot of freedom, probably more than other people her age. Her parents worried for her, of course, but they also trusted her a great deal, so she tended to be able to go where she wanted when she wanted - with exceptions, of course. Athena always suspected it had something to do with her practically behaving as an adult, working to support them. This only increased with her return after her Games; something about her status as a victor made her seem even more of an adult. She didn't feel like an adult, though, but it was a title that had been thrust upon her, and so she was learning to carry it with her accordingly. She didn't see much of another choice.

Athena didn't elaborate as to where she went on a walk, something that did not go unnoticed by her mother, who said, "We're  _here_ for you, Athena, you know that, don't you? You don't have to keep things from us."

Athena, who was in the process of shrugging off her coat and hanging it up in the closet, glancing over at her quickly, saying, "Yeah. Yeah, I know. It was just a walk."

Calypso seemed to sense the tension, because she said quickly, "We made breakfast! Come see."

Athena smiled, kicking off her boots and following her sister's lead to the dining room, where they had indeed set out a delicious-looking breakfast. They all sat around the table and ate in what was mostly silence. Athena offered to clear the table and wash the dishes after they were finished. Afterwards, they went their separate ways for a few hours, before regrouping again in the sitting room a little before noon (Calypso had been excused from school for the sake of this event, since she would be on camera a little herself). It had been Athena's idea to bring her mother and her sister into the sitting room, because she wanted to talk to them, to warn them about the people they were about to be forced to meet, with the hopes that the presence of these Capitol people would be a little less overwhelming that way.

Athena sat her mother and her sister down on the plush sofa, before sitting down in an armchair across from them, saying, "Okay, as you know, everyone's going to be coming in to start off my Victory Tour today. They should be here any minute."

She waited until her mother and sister were both nodding before continuing.

"Finnick and Mags will be here - you know them already - but besides them, everyone's going to be from the Capitol," Athena continued. "I know you've seen them on television, and you've seen Alayne at Reapings and everything, but... it's different when you're meeting them in person. It's a big change from what you're used to, you're probably going to be a little overwhelmed, but... they won't try to hurt you or anything. I promise. Just... stay calm. Make this as normal as you can."

Her mother and Calypso exchanged uncertain looks at her words, but nodded in understanding. It was good timing, because immediately after, they could hear the sounds of various commotions. Honking car horns, the sounds of greetings, doors banging shut, and then rapid knocks on their front door. Knowing that the time had come, Athena gave her mother and Calypso significant looks. They seemed to understand immediately, straightening up. Athena let out a sigh as she got to her feet and walked out of the sitting room towards the door. Her mother and Calypso followed her out, but lingered behind in the hallway, hovering close together. Athena gave the a reassuring look, then walked over to the door. Her hands found the knob of the elegantly carved door, but they remained there, not moving. She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath, bracing herself. Finally, Athena opened the door - and was immediately pounded upon. In a flurry of noisy, delighted squeals and bright colours, her prep team, Ajax, Leto, and Hestia, all but jumped on her, practically burying and suffocating her under their hugs. In spite of her unease, she had to laugh a little; she could never bring herself to hate or even truly dislike her prep team. In their odd, misguided, warped sort of way, they really did seem to want the best for her. When they pulled away, they greeted her individually, pulling her into a brief kiss on each cheek.

"Oh, look at you!" Hestia said, gripping onto her hands, when it was her turn. "It's so good to see you again!"

"It's been too long!" Ajax added when it was his turn, and Athena decided against expressing her thoughts that it had not been long enough. "We are going to have the  _best_ time on this victory tour! Let me tell you - seeing Panem, seeing this beautiful country... it never gets old!"

"You've been taking good care of yourself, I see," Leto said when it was his turn, taking her face in his hand and examining her critically. "But it never hurts to do a little fixing up! Like Ajax said, we are going to have so much  _fun!_ "

Her prep team moved further into the house, looking around in awe (though they must have been to District Four's Victor's Village before; it wasn't like Athena was the only victor they had ever styled for), murmuring compliments about the place.

"Oh, I love these houses so much," Hestia sighed as she looked around at the elegantly carved, white marble house, bringing a plump periwinkle hand to her mouth. "So  _quaint!_ "

Ajax and Leto murmured their agreement.

Athena turned back to the door, just as Tatiana walked inside, wearing a golden feathered-dress, golden bangles all along her arms, her bright pink hair in an elegant knot, and a smile.

"Athena!" Tatiana said, and pulled her into a tight hug, kissing both of her cheeks, before pulling away and holding her at arm's length, her bangles clinking together noisily as she moved. "Gorgeous as ever! You always make my job so easy for me. This shouldn't be any different. Syrio and I are going to enjoy styling for you!"

"Syrio, too?" Athena said as Tatiana moved further into the house, a little surprised, though she didn't know why; Syrio was just as much a stylist for District Four as Tatiana was. There was only Athena now; it made sense that he would focus on her with Tatiana.

"Syrio, too," a voice confirmed, and she turned back to the door to see Syrio walking into the house, grinning as his large, golden earrings twinkled in the light and he ran a hand through his lavender hair (it seemed Caesar Flickerman had made the colour popular). He kissed her cheeks, holding her at arm's length and saying, "It's been a long time, hasn't it? We didn't get much time to get to know each other. I'm very excited to get to work with you!"

Athena barely had time to let out a "Me, too," before Syrio moved into the house to join the others. Athena watched him for a moment, before turning back to the door, just as Finnick strode into the house.

"Athena!" he said, pretending to be shocked to see her, pulling her into a purposely unnecessarily tight hug, saying, "Long time, so see! We simply  _must_ catch up!"

Athena grinned at his way of making fun of the stylists and her prep team, but glanced behind her to make sure he hadn't offended them (upsetting Capitol citizens was a dangerous thing, after all). They were all grinning at the exchange, apparently unaware that Finnick had been making fun of them. All he needed to do was exaggerate his movements a little more and put on a Capitol accent and it would have been a direct impersonation of them, but they did not seem to notice.

"Yeah, it must have been - what? -  a whole fifteen hours since we've last seen each other?" Athena called after him with a grin, as he too moved further into the house.

"Fifteen hours, forty-three minutes and twelve seconds," Finnick grinned, no doubt having made up those numbers on the spot. "Not that I'm counting, though."

Athena laughed out loud, then watched as Finnick kissed her mother on the cheek and bent down to wrap Calypso in a hug. Unsurprisingly, Finnick had managed to make Calypso love him almost instantly. He was practically a god within the walls of the academy, so she had only heard of him in the most positive of terms, and Finnick was particularly gentle whenever he interacted with her, so that it wasn't long until she was wrapped around his finger. Though, Finnick was always insisting  _he_ was the one wrapped around  _her_ finger, and judging by the grin on his face as he ruffled her hair in an oddly brotherly sort of way, considering he had only known her for six months, Athena supposed he was not lying. It had taken Finnick a little longer to win over her mother; much like Athena herself had done, Marella Maris had sense too much of an ego in him and distrusted him a little at first. Still, it seemed his kindness towards her, the way he treated her daughters, and the way Athena spoke of how much of a help Finnick (along with Mags) had been as she made her way through the Games had finally allowed her to warm up to him. And so Finnick Odair had managed to win over her mother and sister in a mere span of three months.

"Well, they're your family," Finnick had said in explanation, shrugging, when Athena brought it up in passing one day. "They're important to you, so I want to know them. Besides, you had Mags won over from the very beginning, and that's my family. It only made sense that I win over your family in return."

It was a strange thing, really, seeing Finnick Odair nearly everyday for six months, all the things she learned about him. It wasn't necessarily that she had never known Finnick; rather, she had seem glimpses and flashes of him and assumed that she knew all one needed to know about Finnick Odair. And maybe those flashes of him  _were_ all one  _needed_ to know, but she was realizing she wanted  _more_ than that. She wanted to know every part of him, and she had the feeling he wanted the same of her. They had long since passed a need-to-know basis.

"I've missed you, too, in our time apart," Finnick told Calypso, still kneeling down so that they were on the same level. "Keep this between the two of us, but I think this one's trying to keep us apart."

Finnick jerked his thumb in Athena's direction as he said the words 'this one's,' putting on a long-suffering expression on his face that made Calypso laugh. Athena wanted to at least  _look_ offended by the comment, but she couldn't help but grin and laugh along as she watched them. Athena could tell that Calypso adored Finnick (which wasn't a surprise, really, considering the ceaseless hero-worshipping of him that occurred within the walls of the academy; Athena had even felt herself fall for it sometimes), and so she had warned Finnick sternly of the wrath he would invoke from her if he wasn't very careful about how he interacted with her sister and did anything to hurt her feelings. Athena found that she actually wasn't worried, though. She did not trust many people with the members of her family, particularly her little sister, but she trusted Finnick.

Still smiling, Athena turned back to the door, just as Mags walked through the door, using her cane to walk. Athena frowned just slightly at the sight; her legs were worse than usual. Athena had seen Mags the day before, but still pulled her into a quick hug.

"How are you?" Athena asked.

"I'm fine, Athena," Mags replied, taking Athena's hand in hers and patting it lightly, smiling. "And you?"

"I'm fine," Athena said, though it was mostly a lie.

Mags seemed to sense that, but thankfully did comment on it, moving further into her house, Finnick rushing forward to help her. Athena turned back to the door just as the last of the new arrivals came in. Alayne Stentor strode into the room. Her hair was now cut shorter and the colour of gold, but still pin straight. She was wearing contacts that made her eyes look gold, wearing a long, puffy dress over powdery white skin that matched her hair and eyes. She was wearing golden lipstick and eye-shadow as well.

"Alayne," Athena nodded once.

"Athena," said Alayne, and pulled her into a quick hug, kissing both of her cheeks. "My duties as an escort are far from over, as you can see. And look," she took a step back and twirled around once to better showcase how she looked. "All gold, in honour of your victory!"

"Um - thanks, Alayne," Athena said awkwardly. "That's really - um - nice of you."

Alayne smiled, evidently pleased with this reaction. "All for my tributes!"

With that, she moved further into the house. Athena looked out the door to make sure no one else was coming. When her front steps were indeed abandoned, she closed the door and moved to the sitting room, where everyone had congregated. Despite her warning, her mother and Calypso looked utterly overwhelmed at the fact that their sitting room was now filled with brightly coloured people that they did not know at all. It was with difficulty that she stopped herself from laughing at the looks on their faces.

"Okay, I guess introductions are in order here," Athena said, and the low chattering of her prep team and stylists ceased immediately. "Mom, Calypso, these are my stylists, Tatiana and Syrio," she pointed at the two stylists respectively, "and this is prep team, Ajax, Leto, and Hestia," she pointed to each of them as she said their names, "this is Alayne Stentor, who you've seen at Reapings," she gestured towards the now golden Alayne, "and obviously you already know Finnick and Mags. Everyone, this is my mother and my younger sister, Calypso," she gestured over at her mother and Calypso.

"Oh, I knew it!" Hestia squealed excitedly. "It's clear where you get your looks from! They look so much like you!"

"They do!" Ajax added. "I recognized them from the funeral!"

"Oh, that was so sad!" said Leto. "I'm so sorry, that must have been so heartbreaking."

"Thanks, Leto," Athena said, a little shortly.

The addition from Leto brought about a lot of tension to the room, but luckily, no one was taken by surprise by it. Athena had told her mother and sister after the service that there had been cameras recording and broadcasting the funeral. They had been as horrified and upset about it as her. Athena was glad she had told her mother and Calypso about it months ago; Leto's comment would have been particularly awful if it was the first time they found out that Douglas Maris' funeral had been treated as public entertainment.

Finnick, clearly trying to diffuse the tension, clapped his hands together and said, "Alright! Time to get to work, yes?"

It was like her prep team had momentarily forgotten they were here for a purpose. Finnick's words reminded them of it, though, and they immediately rushed towards her again.

"Alright, let's get you washed up!" Leto declared, as he led the way out of the sitting room, while Ajax and Hestia linked arms with her, forcing her to move.

As she was being removed from the sitting room, she caught one last glimpse of her mother and sister, who looked stunned and a little horrified at the fact that her prep team was going to see her naked. Athena almost laughed. They didn't realize that when it came to her body, there were no secrets between her and her prep team. Indeed, the moment they were in the spacious bathroom, they ordered her to take off her clothes while Ajax ran a steaming hot bath for her, taking out flower petals that he apparently carried with him and filling the tub with them to add a scent to it, also adding some sort of oil to it. Athena settled into the silky water as soon as her clothes were off. As she washed up quickly, the examined her critically.

"Your nails are a little better than they were the first time we saw them," Leto said thoughtfully, "but would it really hurt to leave them alone a little more? It would make our job so much easier..."

Athena looked down at her hands. She was still learning to kick the habit of biting her nails, so that they were still short and uneven in comparison to how her prep team had made them look when they had tended to them.

"Sorry," she said apologetically.

"Well, your eyebrows aren't too bad, at least," said Hestia. "And there isn't much body hair to take care of...

"And you took care of your hair, clearly," Ajax added brightly, reaching forward and playing with the wet curls between his fingers. "It'll be easy to style this!"

"And you've gained back some weight," Leto noted. "You really got so thin in the arena..."

 _I wonder why,_ Athena thought sarcastically, but didn't say anything.

As they listed off ways that Athena did not look terrible, they ended up getting more pleased with her, forgetting about the ways that she hadn't met their standards. They kissed her cheeks, before pulling her out of the bath, setting her on a chair in her bedroom and, as per usual, starting to talk nonstop as they got to work on her appearance without even bothering to make sure she was actually listening. Mostly, it was about how they had missed having her around.

"Everything feels so dull without you!"

"I was so excited the whole way here!"

"It didn't help that you could never talk on the phone very much."

The new house came with a telephone that Athena, her mother, and Calypso were all free to use. Her mother and Calypso both had friends with telephones in their homes that they called, but Athena had never really known what to make of the telephone. She did know some people with telephones. Selene and Adrian both had telephones, and they called her frequently, clearly eager to associate themselves with a victor, but she found that outside of trades, she didn't like talking to either of them very much. Hudson had a telephone in her home, and Athena actually liked talking to Hudson, but she was busying herself with other things far too often to sit and talk on the telephone for very long.

"Don't think anything of it," Hudson told her matter-of-factly one day after she had finally let Athena word on  _The Adventurer_ again. "I just don't have the time or the patience for those things. Besides, I talk to you all the time whenever I see you, don't I? And I see you a lot."

Which was true. Hudson talked to her more than she talked to a lot of the people who worked on her ship. She had even had Athena over for meals a few times, a gesture Athena had returned. Athena had always liked the fact that Hudson, who was always hard to please, liked her so much.

Other than those three, the only other people Athena knew with telephones were her fellow victors. It felt sort of odd to talk on the phone with any of them when they lived within seconds from her; though. Still, she talked to Finnick and Mags on the telephones sometimes. In particular, she talked to Finnick during late nights when none of them could sleep. It was a secret between the two of them, and though she would never admit it openly, she liked that there was something between them that belonged only to them, something that others did not know about. Tatiana, Leto, Ajax, and Hestia all called her sometimes, as well, but unless she was forced to be with them for extended periods of time, they were people to be handled in small doses; as such, Athena had gotten very good at making up excuses to hang up in the past few months.

"Sorry," Athena said finally. "I've been busy."

"Oh, I'll bet!" said Hestia. "Getting ready for this big moment, huh? And then there's the next Games... will we see you as a mentor?"

"Um - "

It was a question that Athena found difficult to answer. The more she thought about it, the more she thought she really ought to take Mags' place as a mentor, despite how anxious the thought made her and how she thought about which kids she might have to coach every time she was at the academy. Mags deserved her own peace. But she hadn't actually brought the subject forward to Mags or Finnick, and she didn't really know how they would react. Would they refuse to let her do it? Would they not want her to do it, think that she was not ready for it?

Luckily, she was spared from having to actually answer the question, because Leto said, "Oh, I sure hope so! Things will be so much more exciting that way!"

From there, they were off to the races again, talking all about the Capitol; how the Games were such a hit, how dull things were ever since, how no once could wait until she visited again at the end of her Victory Tour. Afterwards, they started talking about their excitement for the next Games. When they had exhausted even that topic, they moved onto telling her all about their own lives. Their words overlapped in a blur of excitement. They told her about who said what about someone Athena had never heard of, what clothes and shoes and accessories they bought to keep up with changing trends, and the mes that had been made at a birthday party of a friend of theirs who had demanded that everyone who showed up had to be covered in glitter.

Soon, her eyebrows were stinging but in perfect shape, her hair was styled perfectly, and her nails were ready to be painted. Tatiana and Syrio had apparently given them strict instructions to prepare only her hands and face, since it was too cold outside for her to wear anything that showed much of her body. It was clear they all had their own ideas about what they should do with her appearance, but still stuck to Tatiana and Syrio's instructions, painting her lips light red, putting on black eyeliner with dark green eye-shadow, and applying light highlighting to her face. Her appearance was still girlish, but something about it seemed more mature. She knew already that they were subtly switching to a sexier appearance with her. She didn't like it very much, but if it was what the Capitol wanted, she knew she had no other choice...

Her mother came in, a little hesitant, clearly intimidated by these colourful Capitol people despite Athena's insistence that they were harmless. She informed them that Tatiana and Syrio had told her to show the prep team how to do her hair the way she had done it for the Reaping, the loose hair with two braids tied to the back of her head like a circlet. Clearly, the style was well-loved in the Capitol and they wanted her to wear it again. It wasn't a very complicated style; Athena could have easily shown them how to do it herself, but she wasn't complaining about the excuse to have her mother with her in the room. Her prep team responded with immediate enthusiasm, watching carefully, thoroughly engrossed, as her mother broke down, step by step, the process for the hairdo. In the mirror, Athena could see their earnest faces as they watched her every move, their eagerness when they tried to repeat a step. Leto, Ajax, and Hestia were all so evidently respectful and nice to her mother that she again immediately regretted any resentful feelings she might have had towards them. It wasn't fair of her to judge them so harshly, she knew; who knew what she would do and say if she had been raised in the Capitol. Maybe, if she had lived their lifestyle, her biggest regret would also be a birthday party with an excess of glitter.

Athena saw her mother staring at her in the mirror. She looked at her mother in the mirror, then at her own reflection, thoughtful. She really didn't look the way the ideal victor did, she knew. There were posters with drawings of the ideal victor all along the hallways of the academy, with slogans that were supposed to inspire enthusiasm about the Games. In most of those posters, they would all have long blonde hair and bright blue eyes and skin like ivory. They weren't all like that, with a few exceptions here and there, but the majority were. She was very different from those posters, with dark skin and eyes and curly black hair. It helped that she wasn't ugly, though, and the people of the Capitol did seem to find her pretty. Still, it just felt like another sign that it wasn't meant to be her standing there.

When they were finished with her hair, Tatiana and Syrio came into the room, ordering the others away (she fought back disappointment as her mother left the room). They helped dress her in the outfit they had made for her. The outfit confirmed immediately what she was thinking about them trying to create a sexier image for her. She was wearing tight black pants, along with a slightly less tight, evergreen, long-sleeved shirt with a neckline that plunged into a low, wide 'V' on her chest. The exposed skin on her chest made the necklace her mother had given her, still hanging from her neck, stand out more prominently. She wore black boots with high heels (it would be difficult to walk on the frost-covered, slightly icy ground with them, she noted), and a jacket made of black leather with an excessive amount of buttons and zippers on it. They hadn't made a drastic shift to a sexier image, since the clothes still weren't skin tight and didn't show an excessive amount of skin (thought that might have just been because of the weather). Still, the difference was there.

"You like it?" Tatiana asked, as she and Syrio stood on either side of her, watching her reflection in the mirror eagerly.

Athena forced a bright smile and said, "I love it."

Neither of them could tell that she wasn't being honest. Now that she was dressed, Tatiana and Syrio left the room, as well, only to soon be replaced by Finnick and Mags. They all sat on her bed, Finnick and Mags on either side of her, with the intention of talking about her talents. Every victor was expected to have one. Their talent was supposed to be the activity they took up now that they didn't need to go to school or work for their district's industry. It could be anything, really, as long as it was something they could talk about in interviews. Finnick had poetry, which was a perfect talent for him to have, really; making something with as much potential to be deeply romantic as poetry as his talent had to make the Capitol swoon and sigh, upping his desirability even more than before. Finnick had told her that he really did write poems and that it wasn't all just for the cameras, but he hadn't offered to show them, and she hadn't asked to see them, figuring they were private and he probably wouldn't say yes anyway. Mags had gardening, which was also perfect for her; it was a very unassuming, pleasant, non threatening talent to have, something that would set the Capitol at ease about her. Mags had actually developed a certain appreciation for it, though, actually tending to a proper garden; both Athena and Finnick would help her tend to it.

Athena didn't really think she had any talents other than her abilities with a spear and on a ship, but the former didn't work because she was told she needed something pleasant and non-threatening to please the Capitol, and the latter didn't work, either, because it was considered part of her district's industry. Athena had thus been at a loss at what to make her talent until Mags had suggested drawing and painting. It really did work perfectly, making her into an artist, especially after the Capitol had heard her speech during her father's funeral, where she talked about using her spear as a paintbrush to create a painting. There had only been one problem, though, which was that she didn't know how to draw and paint the things that were considered acceptable. Everyone wanted realistic, but she only knew how to do abstract. Finnick and Mags had enlisted Noah, who actually had a knack for art (though his official talent had been playing the piano, which he was also quite good at), to help her, working with her for hours every week to hone her art skills more and more. In the end, the drawings and paintings that she managed to spit out in the limited time she had still weren't amazing, but they all figured they could use the excuse that she was still getting back in the swing of things with her art and that she had been distracted by her father's death (which was partly true; she had been distracted by her father's death, but she hadn't been distracted from art).

"The film crews are here. They're setting up your sitting room to look like an art gallery right now," Finnick said, and she noticed him looking her up and down quickly; he did it much more discreetly than he used to, when he had probably just been trying to get under her skin. "You have the cards that you wrote up with Noah about what you'll say while they're filming the artwork, right?"

"Yes," Athena said, pulling out the stack of cards from a drawer in her bedside table, right where Kai's golden pin had once been. "Right here."

"Good," Finnick said, nodding once. "The camera isn't actually going to be on you when you're saying that stuff; they're just going to record it and put it in later, so you only have to  _sound_ like you care."

"Easy enough," Athena conceded.

Just then, Alayne burst into the room to remind them they were on a tight schedule. She walked over across the room, pulled Athena to her feet, and dragged her down the stairs to the sitting room, where indeed, her rushed artwork had been put on display like it was an art gallery. Trying to look as enthusiastic as possible, Athena walked around the room, pointing at different displays and making brief comments about each one, calling a painting of a sunset a favourite of hers and saying that a painting of a bird in flight carried so much  _meaning_ to her. The sound team recorded Athena reading from the cards in a bright, chirpy voice, before kicking her out of the sitting room to film her artwork in peace.

Her mother and Calypso were both being filmed doing their own interviews, the former in the dining room and the latter in the kitchen. They were both dressed up in their nicest clothes, and Athena's prep team had applied light makeup to them, as well. Watching them give their interviews (where they mostly talked about how proud of Athena they were and how great it was to be related to a victor) filled Athena with sadness. She wanted nothing more than to keep her mother and sister away from the Capitol, and here they were, immersed in it, being filmed for an interview where the Capitol would watch them avidly. She knew they had been interviewed by the Capitol before, though; when Athena had made it into the final eight tributes remaining, they had sent reporters to do stories about their lives. They had interviewed her mother and sister, along with a few of her classmates, Ian, Hudson, and some of the sailors and fishermen with whom she worked. Athena thought it was probably a mark of how little friends she actually had that they had to interview members of her family, acquaintances from school, her former crush, and the people with whom she worked. Her father had already been dead by that point; he hadn't lived to see how far she had made it...

When they were finished giving their interviews, Alayne, who was standing nearby, clapped her hands. "Attention, everybody! We're about to film our first outdoor shots, our lovely victor waving hello to the cameras, ready to embark on her wonderful trip! After, it'll be time for the brief interview with Caesar to get everyone excited for the Tour! Alright, Athena, big smiles! You're happy, you're excited, you're ready for this journey!"

Athena barely had time to put on her rehearsed, winning smile before Alayne shoved her out the door of her house. For a split second, Athena was left stumbling around on the slightly icy ground in her high heeled boots, before she managed to regain her balance. She forced a laugh at her own clumsiness, before bringing her smile back to her face and walking forward, waving at the camera and even blowing a few kisses.

She heard music being played from speakers, and then heard Caesar Flickerman's voice booming, "And there she is! Our favourite mermaid, the pride of District Four - Athena Maris!"

Athena smiled even brighter, waving even higher than before for a few minutes, before lowering her hand. She couldn't actually see Caesar and could only hear his voice. She knew she was being broadcasted to televisions all over Panem, though, so she just kept smiling, staring directly at the camera, since she didn't really know where else to look.

"So, Athena - you've undergone quite a change, I'm sure. How's it going? How are you adjusting?"

"I'm fine," Athena replied, since that had become her default response to anyone asking her how she was, but then realized immediately after she needed to give them more than that. "I'm doing great, actually! Life is so amazing here in Victor's Village - everything is so beautiful!"

"Oh, we've already seen!" Caesar responded. "But not nearly as beautiful as that artwork you've been creating. I'm sure I'm not the only one who was simply blown away by it! Have you always been such an artist?"

Athena smiled modestly. "Thank you, Caesar! I don't know if I've always been very good," she said with a laugh, "but I've definitely always loved art! I'm so glad I have so much more time to focus on it now!"

"Well, the stunning results certainly speak for themselves!" Caesar said, before his tone became more serious. "Now, Athena, I must ask... some months ago, you underwent a very tragic event... your father, Douglas Maris, passed away. His funeral was a truly heartbreaking thing, especially the beautiful words you had to say about him. How have you been holding up since then?"

"It's been hard," Athena said, which was the most honest thing she had said this whole time. "Really hard. I love my father so much, he's really important to me, so losing him hit me really hard. But I have my mother and my sister by my side, that's helped a lot. And this community of victors here has been really supportive. And of course, the kindness and generosity of the Capitol, my life has gotten so much better! It's made the whole process so much easier for me for sure."

"Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure," Caesar hummed. "Well, we'll most certainly be checking in with you throughout your Victory Tour, my dear girl. Thank you so much, Athena Maris!"

Athena waved the cameras goodbye again, just as the music began playing once more, signalling the end of the short interview. As soon as the cameras were off, Alayne was crying out, "Excellent! That was perfect! Now, everybody get moving, we need to be out of here in ten! The train awaits!"

Athena, Calypso, and their mother were afforded a few minutes to say goodbye while the camera crews packed up all their equipment. Rationally, Athena knew there was no need for dramatic goodbyes this time around; they all knew she would come back in one piece. There was nobody standing in between her and her way back home now. Still, Athena couldn't help but feel dread at the fact that she was leaving her mother and sister for an extended period of time again. She found she wasn't worried about herself; she might had been in the clear, but she didn't like that she wouldn't be able to look after her mother and sister for the time that she'd be gone. Last time she had been separated from her family for too long, she had returned to the news of her father's death. What if she returned to District Four after her Victory Tour and was faced with her mother's funeral to plan, or Calypso's? It would destroy her, surely, especially so soon after her father's death...

She forced it from her head as Calypso pulled her into a tight hug. Athena brushed stray strands of hair from Calypso's face as the latter said, "We'll be watching and cheering you on the whole time, promise. You're going to do great."

Athena smiled. "Thank you. Watch, I'm going to do way better now that you said that."

Athena and her mother didn't say anything as they hugged each other tightly, Athena resting her head on her mother's shoulder while her mother rubbed her back. It was as though whatever they felt towards each other went without saying now. For a split second, as her mother held her, Athena got to feel like a child, and the weight of the world disappeared momentarily. It was back as soon as they pulled away, though, weighing Athena down all over again.

"I'll be back soon," she said, smiling bracingly at the both of them. "I love you both."

Calypso and her mother barely had time to return the 'I love you,' before Athena was being whisked away to the train that was waiting for them. The rest of the day was a blur of getting to the station and then to the train, the train pulling out, and then, in almost no time at all, Athena, Finnick, Mags, Alayne, Tatiana, and Syrio were all dining on a rich, delicious meal that Athena was barely taking note of as she ate. Athena, Finnick, and Mags sat on one side of the table, while Alayne, Tatiana, and Syrio sat on the other. Alayne was going on and on about the Tour that awaited them. Athena knew the basic route that they would take on the tour; they would move in ascending order of the districts, starting from District Five, then onto District Six, then Seven, and onwards, until they arrived at the Capitol for another interview and a party. From there, they would wrap up the Tour in District Four, as it was customary for the victor to save their own district for last.

"Wonderful food, wonderful wine, wonderful massages, wonderful spa treatments, you name it," Alayne was listing off. "I told them no victor of mine would have anything but the very best. Everything needs to be absolutely - "

" - wonderful," Finnick and Mags muttered under their breath in unison from either side of Athena, speaking in a perfect imitation of Alayne's voice.

" - wonderful," Alayne was saying, having not heard Finnick and Mags mimicking her, and Athena almost choked on her food to keep herself from laughing. "Now, the schedule is a little demanding, I must admit. Touring our entire country is no easy feat, especially in the limited time we have. But it's mainly parties, celebrations, banquets - you'll have to make speeches at every district, mind you, Athena, but you'll always have adoring fans to greet you at every stop." Athena doubted many people in those crowds would actually like her, though, not when she was standing there instead of their friend or family member. "And then of course, there's the stop at the Capitol, where everyone cannot  _wait_ to see you again. I just hope you've done your homework, young lady."

Athena's homework was to study all the information in her itinerary and what protocol would be observed in each district. Athena had indeed read it over several times, but she was still anxious that she would find some way to mess things up.

"I've read it over," said Athena.

"Good," Alayne said, looking pleased. "In that case, your only real jobs are to make a few speeches, smile and wave at the camera, and enjoy your time in the spotlight. You've earned it."

Athena looked up from her plate slowly at that, immediately tensing up. "What did you say?"

"I said," Alayne said impatiently, "enjoy yourself. You've  _earned_ it, Athena."

"I've earned it?" Athena repeated, staring at Alayne disbelievingly. "By killing people, you mean? Yeah, that's honest work, isn't it?"

"Young lady," Alayne began in exasperation, sighing.

"Athena - " Mags said quietly.

"It's been a long day," Athena said suddenly. "I think I'm going to go to bed."

With that, she got up from the table and walked towards where she knew her chambers would be, closing the doors behind her. Athena regretted her outburst fairly soon after she was in the solitude of her chambers. She knew she would have to apologize to Alayne in the morning and found she wasn't very excited at all for it. Athena wasn't actually tired at all, but she could hardly go back out there after her outburst, and there wasn't much to do in her chambers, leaving her no choice but to go to bed. She got ready for bed quickly, before crawling beneath the covers of the soft, warm bed that had been made for her.

Athena stared up at the ceiling, letting out a long sigh. She needed to get through this Victory Tour. That was all she needed to do. Alayne said it herself, her only real job was to make some speeches and smile and wave and enjoy herself (or at least, look like she was enjoying herself). She just needed to make it through the Victory Tour alive and then - 

And then what? Even if her Victory Tour was a complete success and went off without a hitch, she still would not be free. If she went through with becoming a mentor, she would have to go back to the Capitol year after year, would have to relive her Games up close through the tributes she mentored. And even if she didn't become a mentor, there was no way they would just leave her alone. Victors often got invited back to the Capitol throughout the year for things like interviews, parties, photoshoots. It was almost guaranteed that Athena would be asked to do all of those things, and she would not be able to refuse. She thought about how they had filmed and broadcasted her father's funeral for the country to see. If someone else in her life died, if she ever got married or had children (as unlikely as that seemed to her), it would be broadcasted for the country to see, and the Capitol would make all those moments of her life theirs, too. There was even the possibility, though Athena didn't like thinking about it, that Snow might start selling her body the same way he sold Finnick's, the same way he sold the bodies of victors the Capitol found desirable. She knew the Capitol thought she was pretty; if they found her desirable enough, she would be asked to do it, and if she tried to refuse, Snow would kill the people she loved...

Athena would never be free. The reality of it truly registered for the first time, filling her up rapidly, overwhelming her. She belonged to the Capitol and would for the rest of her life. The thought still felt like it was crushing her when Athena managed to drift off into an uneasy sleep.


	24. XXIV

**XXIV**

 

It felt like Athena wasn't asleep for very long when Alayne woke her up by knocking loudly on the door. She didn't quite want to face the world again, especially not when she knew she needed to apologize to Alayne, but she still forced herself out of bed. She put on the first comfortable-looking outfit she could find, before walking over to the dining car. Athena didn't see why it mattered when she got up, since this was mainly a travel day, but apparently, her makeover yesterday was only to get her from Victor's Village to the train station. She would be getting the works today.

"Why? It's cold, it's not like anyone's going to see anything," Athena pointed out.

"In some districts, it's actually quite warm," was all Alayne said. "I imagine your stylists are going to want to take advantage of that."

It was hard to miss the frostiness in Alayne's tone, which served as a reminder that Athena still needed to apologize for her outburst. Athena was suddenly quite glad it was only her and Alayne at the table; it was much easier to apologize when it was only them there.

"Hey, Alayne," Athena said with a soft sigh, putting down her fork and knife. "I'm sorry about what I said last night. I was completely out of line. You were only trying to be nice. I realize I need to be more appreciative of everything that you're doing for me."

To her credit, Alayne accepted the apology graciously. "Thank you, Athena. It's quite alright. I do understand that you are under a certain amount of pressure... it's easy for nerves to get to you. But that's why it is essential you learn to handle your emotions better, young lady. You're a  _victor_ now; you need to carry yourself with a certain amount of  _composure_."

"Right," Athena said. "I'll work on that."

Alayne held her hands up, saying, "That is all I ask."

Athena had to try not to laugh, looking down at her food to hide her grin. The food was as incredible as always. It was almost as if the kitchen staff was trying especially hard to please her in light of her victory, serving all her favourites. There was even a cup of rich hot chocolate awaiting her. Still, she found it hard to really enjoy it. She was also getting a little annoyed at the fact that it was only her and Alayne at the table. It had been nice when it gave her a window to apologize to Alayne alone, but now she was irritated that she had been forced out of bed when no one else had been.

"Where's everybody else?" Athena asked after a moment, gesturing around at the empty seats.

"Finnick and Mags should be here any moment," said Alayne, "as should you prep team. Tatiana and Syrio were up late organizing your garment car. They must have prepared over a hundred outfits for you. I must say, your evening clothes are truly exquisite."

Just as Alayne said this, Mags walked in, using her cane to walk again. She was followed closely by Finnick. Just as the two of them settled in and began eating, Athena's prep team walked into the dining car. As ragged as Athena felt, her prep team, who clearly were not used to waking up very early, were in even worse condition, knocking back cups of coffee and exchanging brightly coloured pills. They clearly were not people who woke up before noon except during the most extreme of emergencies - like Athena Maris' body hair, for example. There really wasn't much of it, but Athena still allowed her prep team to take care of it all. It was a mark of how tired they were that none of them were up to their usual chatter, so that Athena could hear every strand of hair being plucked from its follicle, and there was nothing to drown out the sound of her hissing in pain. She had to soak in a tub full of a thick, unpleasant-smelling solution, while her face and hair was plastered in creams. Afterwards, two more baths followed, in less offensive concoctions. She was plucked and anointed and massaged and scoured until she was left feeling raw.

Hestia let out a sigh as the three of them examined her carefully. "It really is a shame that Tatiana forbade us from doing any major body modifications."

The fact that Tatiana wouldn't let them make any major changes to her body was Athena's favourite quality about her stylist, but she knew better than to say this out loud, instead listening as Ajax said, "Yeah, we could really make you into something special if we could..."

"When she's older," Leto said, with an oddly grim determination in his voice. "She can't stop us when she's older. Then she'll have to let us."

The words filled her with anxiety. What would they do to her if Tatiana didn't stand in their way? Dye her skin and hair odd, unnatural colours? Blow up her lips to make them look unnaturally full? Tattoo her breasts? Implant gems in her skin, rather than just gluing them on her temporarily to match the dresses Tatiana and Syrio had her wear? Cut decorative patterns into her face? Give her stripes like a zebra, feathers like a bird, whiskers like a cat? Athena had seen all those things and more in her time in the Capitol. She didn't understand how they couldn't see how ridiculous they looked to the rest of Panem.

The thought of being left to her prep team's fleeting fashion whims only added to all the miseries already competing for her attention. It only seemed to highlight the fact that she would always be the property of the Capitol. By the time lunch came around and they arrived at the dining car, where Finnick, Mags, Alayne, Tatiana, and Syrio were already all eating. Athena felt completely weighed down. Ajax, Leto, and Hestia had all woken up a little more while they were working on Athena, so that they all participated cheerfully in the conversation happened at the table. People tried to include her in the conversation, but Athena didn't much feel like talking then. She wasn't even very hungry, though that might have just been because of the amount of rich food she had shovelled down during breakfast.

When the train slowed to a stop, Athena frowned, looking around her. They couldn't possibly be in District Five yet. They were informed quickly, however, that they were only stopping for fuel, assuring them that they would be moving again in half an hour. Alayne looked deep in thought, perusing a small planner that she had pulled out, before finally seeming to find what she had been looking for and looking relieved.

"This is fine," she said finally. "I've planned it so that we have room for one stop for fuel on the way to each district. We should be fine as long as it doesn't take longer than half an hour."

"I'm going to get some air," Athena said, deciding this on an impulse. "I'll be back on the train in time, don't worry."

Before anyone could say anything, she walked out of the dining car, walking through the still train until she found an exit. She forced it open. It triggered an alarm, but Athena just ignored it. The worst they would do is forbid her from leaving the train during stops for the rest of the Tour. It wasn't much warmer here than it had been back home, but there was no snow on the ground. Athena walked until the train was only barely in sight, sitting down on the edge of the tracks. It wasn't long until she heard footsteps approaching; she looked over and saw Finnick walking towards her.

"Are you making it your goal on this Victory Tour to make as many dramatic exits as you can?" Finnick asked with a put-on curiosity, sitting down beside her. "Because you're doing a great job."

"You're funny," she deadpanned. "The last exit wasn't that dramatic."

"I mean, you just leaving the table wasn't that dramatic," he agreed, "but the bit where you left the train even when the alarm went off? That one was a little dramatic. Mags and I had to sweet talk them to convince them to not just keep you locked in your rooms at all times so you don't try to run away or something."

"Of course I'm not going to run away, where would I go?" Athena said, because she really didn't see any future except for the one in front of her.

"We mentioned that while we were pleading your case," Finnick nodded. "Are you alright, Athena? And be honest. There aren't any cameras."

"I'm fine," she said instinctively, then actually considered the question. "I'm just... at first I was telling myself that all I need to do is get through this train ride, get through this Victory Tour, and then I'll be okay, but it never really ends, does it? The train ride doesn't end. This is my life now. And I guess I just... I hadn't really realized it until now."

"You were too busy focusing on surviving," Finnick said in understanding, nodding once. "And now you're thinking about living."

"That sums it up," Athena nodded once. "It's alright, though. It's alright, it's alright, it's al - "

Athena had been saying it to herself more so than Finnick, trying to convince herself of it. He cut her off, though, saying firmly, "No, it's not. But it will be. That's what you have to tell yourself. It's what I tell myself."

"Does it work?" Athena asked, trying not to let her desperation overwhelm her. "At all? How does any good come out of this?"

Finnick was silent for a moment, considering this. "The good comes in doses - a little too small sometimes, but enough. I can get the ship I always wanted. I met you."

She looked around at him, surprised. "That's a good thing to you?"

"It's one of the best things to me," he replied simply - then added, nudging her. "In spite of all the hostility."

Athena laughed weakly, which was something of an accomplishment amidst all of this. "You're going to get that ship finally?"

"I think so," Finnick replied. "I really want it, and I've put it off long enough."

"When are you going to get it?"

"That, I haven't decided," he admitted. "I obviously can't get it right now, and I want it to be the right moment and all of that. It'll be soon, though."

"I'm happy for you," Athena said, and meant it; the topic of Finnick getting the ship he had always wanted had come up more than once, and it was always clear to Athena that he really wanted it. She wasn't really sure why he had kept putting it off.

"Thank you," he smiled. "Maybe you can draw the design of the ship or something and then I can get it built. I get a ship, and you get to improve on your art. Everyone wins."

"Interesting concept," Athena replied. "I hope you enjoy your barely functional ship that sinks in ten minutes, if you get it built off designs  _I_ drew for you."

"You mean to tell me you're not hard at work at improving your art?" asked Finnick. "You're really going to let me get a dysfunctional ship built because you don't want to practice more? That's unfair to me, personally."

"I mean," Athena said, rolling her eyes at his teasing tone, "if you really wanna talk about unfair, you've seen pretty much all my drawings and paintings, but I haven't gotten to ready any of your poems."

Finnick glanced at her sideways, before smirking. "Real smooth, Maris."

"Can't blame me for trying," Athena said with a grin, letting out a laugh. "I just can't decide whether I find it really surprising or really unsurprising that you write poetry."

Finnick raised his eyebrows. "Hey, it's not like I'm a poetic genius or anything. I had to start because I made it my talent; I realized I kind of like it, and now here I am. And you're avoiding the subject, anyway. Your talent is going to come up again. Have you been working on your art?"

"I'm trying," Athena said. "But every time, I end up drawing or painting something from my Games."

And it was true. Her attempts to work on her art always ended in drawing or painting something from her arena, except with some sort of twist. Kirk Martin, just about to jump of his plate during the countdown, except this time, instead of landing on the ground where the mines would blow him to pieces, he was doomed to fall from a great height. Paige Yarnn being torn apart by the booby traps, except this time, the knives that tore her apart were spears that looked exactly like the spear Athena had used in the arena. Rowan and Cara on either side of her, except Rowan and Cara were sinking into the sand below them, grasping onto Athena's hands to help pull them up, but she clearly was not strong enough. Amber Cedara during her interview, except this time, she was holding Lana Ryker's head in her hands, holding the head up by her hair. Athena and Kai during Kai's last moments, except this time, Kai was dragging her down with him into the wave that had been painted dark red.

"I see," Finnick said slowly. "Maybe you just need a new muse. I'd be more than happy to pose for you if you ever wanted to paint or draw me."

Athena grinned, holding back a laugh with difficulty. "Okay, how about this: I'll draw you if you show me your poems."

Finnick considered this. "Well, I guess there's always just pictures."

Athena laughed out loud. "Or I can draw you, but you have to let me leave your appearance up for artistic interpretation."

"So, basically, you're going to make me look as unattractive as possible?" Finnick raised his eyebrows.

"Hey, it might be a nice reality check," Athena pointed out brightly.

"You know, the more you say that stuff, the more you confirm that you've thought I was good-looking this entire time," Finnick said matter-of-factly.

"You're the worst," was all Athena said, shaking her head and grinning.

They lapsed into a silence for a long time, before Finnick said quietly, "I write about my Games or what the Capitol's done to me sometimes. A lot of the times, actually. They're not very poetic or beautiful. They're as ugly as the stuff I'm actually talking about. But I know where you're coming from."

"Does it work?" Athena asked.

"I don't know," he replied honestly. "I'm always a little less afraid of going to sleep at night after writing one, but I might just be telling myself that. The nightmares are still there by the end of it. It's been four years; I don't think they ever will go away. What about you?"

"I'm the same way," she admitted. "Maybe it's not about the nightmares. I mean, maybe it's not about whether or not the nightmares go away, but about what you do when you wake up again. It has to be better to wake up and pick up a pen or a pencil or a paintbrush rather than a knife or a bottle or something, right?"

"Right," Finnick said slowly, looking at her with an expression she couldn't quite read. "I'd never thought about it like that."

"Neither did I," Athena confessed, "until right now."

"Then I guess we both have some new perspective," he conceded.

There was another silence, before Athena asked suddenly, "Did you find a muse?"

Finnick blinked. "What?"

"You said that maybe what I need is a new muse to stop myself from drawing things from my Games," she said. "Did you find a new must to keep you from writing about yours?"

Finnick glanced at her sideways. He was silent for a very long time, before saying, "Something like that," and before she could ask him to elaborate, he said, "I don't think I'm ready to show you those poems yet. I think, with you... I will be one day. Just not today. And you don't have to show me those drawings and paintings. Whenever you're ready to, I'll be there."

Athena nodded once. "That works for me."

A moment later, Finnick was getting to his feet, saying, "We should get back to the train. Can you imagine if they got to District Five without you?"

"Can you imagine Alayne's meltdown?"

"Oh, that would be one for the history books."

Laughing, Athena and Finnick made their way back to the train, boarding on it again just as the train was preparing to continue moving. Finnick turned to Athena once the train lurched forward.

"We'll be in District Five pretty soon," he said, "if you want to take a look."

Athena nodded, so Finnick led the way to the last car on the train. There were chairs and couches to sit on, but the best part about the room was that the back windows retracted into the ceiling so that people sitting there were riding outside, in the fresh air, providing a wide sweep of the landscape. Athena could see already that District Five, despite being a relatively wealthy district, was much more dreary than District Four, even when taking into the account the winter weather. She supposed she couldn't have expected something particularly pretty in a district with an industry of power, charged with the responsibility of harnessing enough energy to power the entire nation of Panem. It was a fairly large place, though, considering the fact that the train rode on and on, even though they were definitely in District Five by now. Athena caught a glimpse of the huge hydroelectric dam that she had read about in the academy, one of the main generators of power in the district.

The size of the place was a little overwhelming, though. She had always known there was more to Panem than District Four, but she hadn't quite realized just how large the country spanned until then, and they had only reached one district. The country spread so far, yet it had been hidden from them. It bothered Athena to think about, so she wasn't really complaining when the time came for Alayne to collect her to get dressed.

Athena went to her chambers and allowed her prep team to do her hair and makeup. Tatiana and Syrio came next, dressing her in a pretty but short gold dress that sparkled and shimmered as it caught the light, with heels to match. She had no reason to dislike the thing other than the fact that she felt like she and Alayne matched too much now.

Alayne sat Athena down after she was dressed and went through the day's program with her one last time. To start, Athena would ride through the city while the residents would cheer. She would also have to do this in some of the other districts, as well. Athena wasn't sure that anybody would cheer for her, but Alayne insisted she would be a huge hit. That hadn't convinced her very much, but then Finnick and Mags reminded her that she would at least get some enthusiastic applause from the crowds, since that was expected of them, which was a fair point. They would then arrive in the square, which was also before their Justice Building. Their Justice Building wasn't as large and imposing as the one in District Four, but it was in good condition. Athena would be introduced, the mayor of the district would give a speech in her honour, and she would give her speech that had been pre-written for her by Alayne on the stage just before the Justice Building. If the victor had been allies with any of the dead tributes of the district, it was considered good form to add a few personal comments about them, but Athena hadn't known Nina Brites or Atom Heller very well, so she would only be expected to read the speech given to her. At the end of the ceremony, she would be presented with some sort of plaque, and then she could finally retreat into the Justice Building, where some sort of special dinner would be served.

As the train pulled into the District Five station, Tatiana and Syrio put the finishing touches on her outfit, straightening it out, adding gold earrings, and adjusting her necklace so that it was more clearly in view. District Five's welcoming committee consisted of the mayor, Isaac Watts, a few other government officials, and a squad of eight Peacekeepers. There were a few exchanged pleasantries where Athena tried to be as charming as possible, before the group was directed into a car and a truck. Athena would go in the car with half of the Peacekeepers, while the others would all go into the much larger truck with the other half. The information filled her with anxiety; Alayne had neglected to tell her this.

 _They're leaving me alone in a car with four Peacekeepers_ , Athena thought, horrified in spite of herself. Her elevated status as a victor really had not done much for her distrust of Peacekeepers.

"Oh, it's only for the car ride there, Athena," said Alayne, when Athena opened her mouth to protest. "You'll meet up with us again at the Justice Building. The attention has to be all on you for the ride; this is  _your_ moment, after all! And you'll have these Peacekeepers here to protect you!"

Athena still didn't like it at all, would rather have the attention diverted from her than be alone in that car with those Peacekeepers, but she knew she had no choice, so she followed four of the Peacekeepers into the car. As she climbed into the backseat, she tried to tell herself that it wouldn't be as bad as her nerves were telling her. Surely they couldn't do anything to her now. Before her Games she might have had something to worry about, but she was a victor now; they couldn't just kill or even harm a victor and get away with it - unless she had done something wrong. Which she hadn't. At least, she thought she hadn't, but what if she had? What if something she had said or done had been interpreted the wrong way and now they had to punish her? But that didn't make any sense. What could she had possibly done? If she had done something severely wrong, she would have surely known by now.

Still, even with her distrust of Peacekeepers aside, this was her first public appearance for her Victor Tour outside of her district, and she was doing it alone, without Finnick or Mags or her stylists or even Alayne to guide her. She was very nervous that she would find a way to mess up. Still, she tried to tell herself it wasn't much different from her opening ceremonies.

 _But at least Kai was there then,_ Athena thought, remembering how much of a comfort it had been to be with someone who was almost equally as uncomfortable and nervous about the whole thing.

The Peacekeepers all sat in the front seats, not speaking to them or acknowledging them at all. Athena sat rather tensely in the back. For a few moments, they rode in silence, before one of the Peacekeepers gave her a signal. Before Athena could interpret what the signal meant, the roof was being retracted and the windows rolled down so that they were in plain view as they rode through the streets. They slowed their speed significantly so that the car was going at a leisurely pace. The streets seemed to have been closed off specially for this occasion, because except for the truck that was several yards ahead of them, the streets were empty. There was a crowd on either side of the streets though, a sea of people that stretched on and on, clapping loudly.

Athena took only a split second to be stunned before she remembered what to do. She plastered on her usual bright smile as she straightened up, waving at the crowds. Though the applause was loud and there were even a few chants of her name, Athena could see that none of their faces showed any real enthusiasm. She couldn't blame them. Still, she knew blowing kisses or anything of the sort would be severe overkill here, so she stuck to smiling and waving. The car was moving tortuously slow, and it seemed they were taking the longest possible route to the Justice Building, dragging the event out for much longer than Athena had anticipated. She still couldn't shake her nerves or the feeling of isolation that came from sitting by herself in the back seat of this car, but she didn't stop smiling or waving for a second, until they finally pulled up behind the Justice Building and the Peacekeepers were ushering her quickly and none too gently inside. The others were already waiting for her inside the Justice Building.

"There you are!" said Alayne, rushing towards her, guiding her towards the doors of the Justice Building. "See, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Athena said nothing, only allowing herself to be guided to where she needed to go. There wasn't much time to look around. Athena barely had time to take note of the large, spacious entrance hall and the smell of an excellent meal being prepared, before she heard the anthem being played outside. The mayor was introducing her as the doors of the Justice Building opened with a creak.

"Smile, smile, smile, stand up straight, you are on camera!" Alayne whispered in her ear, shoving the cards where Alayne had written her speech in her hands and giving her a nudge forward.

Athena's feet moved forward as though on autopilot. Just as during the ride of the Justice Building, the crowds (which had moved to the Justice Building with surprising speed) applauded loudly and even cheered and chanted her name a little, but with none of the enthusiasm of the Capitol. Athena walked forward until she reached the front of the stage, standing beside the mayor, who was currently at the microphone. As always, there were two raised platforms on either side of the back of the square. One side held an enormous picture of the male tribute from that district, while the other side held an equally large picture of the female tribute from that district. Standing in front of the pictures would be the family of the dead tribute. In front of Atom Heller's picture, there was an old woman with wrinkled brown skin and white hair, along with a young boy that looked like he could be Atom's brother; in front of Nina Brite's picture, however, there was a large family standing there, and from the looks of it, Nina had been the youngest, the baby of the family...

The applause died out and the mayor gave the speech in her honour. A young girl in a long dress and her hair plaited walked on stage, carrying a small cushion in her hands carefully. On the cushion was a large pin of District Five's seal. She walked right up to Athena, before saying loudly, so that everyone in the silent square could hear, "It would be an honour if you wore this pin in representation of our district."

Athena, having known this was coming, smiled and said, "It would be my pleasure."

She didn't take it, though, because she knew that the mayor had to pin it on her himself. Indeed, Mayor Watts walked forward, took the pin from the cushion, and pinned it onto her dress carefully. There was another round of applause at that, as Athena and the mayor shook hands. Then it was time for her speech. Athena stepped forward to the microphone and waited for the applause to die down before she spoke, trying not to make it too obvious that she was reading from the cards.

"People of District Five!" she said, forcing herself to smile again. "It's an honour and a pleasure to find myself in your beautiful district on this day! I've heard so many good things about this district and its people, and I'm finding already that so much of it is true.

"It is for a both happy and sad occasion that I am here with you today. I... I am happy to share with you my victory. Though... though it is my strength, forged in the crucible of the Games that was... that was my greatest prize of all. For it is this strength that... that gets us all through hardships... that brings us to the end of the longest, hardest of nights... and... and brings us to a better, brighter tomorrow. It's a victory that I also owe to the... to the kindness and generosity of the Capitol, for their... unwavering faith and support for me. I shudder to think where I would be without it."

Athena's brow furrowed slightly as she read from the speech. Alayne hadn't shown her what she was supposed to say during her speech until she had handed her the cards only moments ago, and Athena realized why now. If Athena had read this speech ahead of time, she would have surely protested to it, which was something Alayne evidently wanted to avoid. But how could she be expected to read something like this speech, that dressed up the Games as an honour and the deaths of these children as warriors dying for a worthy cause, especially right in front of their families? The crowds did not seem surprised by what she was saying; she supposed they heard the same sort of thing every year. Athena looked over at the picture of Atom Heller, then at Nina Brites - except Nine Brites' throat was cut open the way it had been when Angus Keld had slit her throat, blood pouring from the wound. Athena tensed up, but then squeezed her eyes shut for several moments. When she opened again, Nina's throat was without wounds and free of blood. She wasn't dead in the photograph.

"I also, however, want to share the sorrow of your losses. The tributes from this district, Atom and Nina, were both strong, but in the end, they still met cruel ends that they did not deserve," she continued, and that sparked interest. It was a throwaway comment, but she had still gone off the script, and the crowds noticed. She didn't know how far she could go with it, though, so she looked back at the cards. "They were both great and noble warriors that... that brought pride to their families and... and honour to their people. And in their deaths, I... I see myself. I see that we are all of us united, both victor and vanquished, in serving a common purpose, the... the power and the glory of the Capitol, which I have come to learn knows no bounds.."

The speech was terrible to read. It was torture, being forced to read these words that were not hers, that she did not agree with, and make it sound like she believed them with her whole heart. It also didn't help that she wasn't familiar with the content of the speech at all. All the while, the families of Atom Heller and Nina Brites watched her, and the pictures of the two dead tributes themselves stared directly at her, drilling holes into her with their eyes.

"... Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever," she said, finishing with the country's motto.

She wanted to say more, wanted to give some sort of apology for everything she had done, for the losses that their families were feeling, but she didn't know what she would say. She hadn't even really known Nina or Atom; what could she say that wasn't utterly insincere, especially after that awful speech that she had given. Before she could think of something, however, she realized that the moment had passed. The mayor stepped forward and presented her with a surprisingly heavy plaque. The ceremony was ending now, with the mayor taking over at the microphone to wrap it up. There was another round of applause to bring her out, and she felt herself stepping away as though someone else was taking control of her now, waving and smiling once more, before turning around and hurrying into the sanctuary of the Justice Building. A few Peacekeepers followed close behind her.

They would be provided a brief tour of the Justice Building before they were to get ready for dinner. Athena paid attention to the bits of information the government officials told them at each stop, but Finnick and Mags beside her were hardly attentive. She supposed she couldn't blame them; this was Finnick's fourth time coming here, counting his own Victory Tour and the Victory of the Nereus twins, who he had mentored, and Mags had probably come here more times than they could count, considering all the victors she had mentored. Alayne tried to be as gracious as always, but Athena noted a definite frostiness in the way the escort interacted with her.

"Alayne's upset with me, isn't she?" Athena muttered to Finnick and Mags, unsure why that was something that could still surprise her at this point.

"She thinks... weren't convincing enough with... speech," Mags explained. "Didn't do... good enough... reading it."

"And, to be fair," Finnick added, "you could've been a little more convincing. She also wasn't a fan of that little twist you added to it."

"I know," Athena admitted. "But you heard that speech, didn't you? It was - "

"I know," Finnick said. "I thought the same thing during my Victory Tour. But you can't sound like you're miserable while you're doing it."

Athena knew he had a point, but before she could say anything, Alayne was calling back at them to hurry along or they'd get left behind in the tour. When the tour was finished, she was whisked away to a closed-off section of the building where her outfit was already laid out. Athena showered as long as they let her before they pulled her out to be readied. Her prep team were all very excited about the dinner, chatting excitedly with each other as they tried to predict what dishes would be served; they didn't always get invited to prestigious parties in the Capitol, but in the districts, they were guaranteed to be considered important enough to get invited. When they were finished with her hair and makeup, Tatiana and Syrio came into dress her in another gold dress, but this one was lacy, longer, and much more elegant than the first. They placed a gold circlet on her curly hair to complete the look.

When they all assembled to go down to the dinner, Alayne arranged them in formation for their entrance. First the prep team, then her, then the stylists, then Finnick and Mags, with Athena, as usual, bringing up the rear. Each person was supposed to give the person before them a fifteen step lead down the stairs before descending themselves. Somewhere below, musicians began to play, and the first wave of the little procession began down the steps.

While Athena waited for her cue to walk, she thought about the rest of the Victory Tour still in front of her. Next would be District Six, then Seven, the districts of Cara Savera, Rowan Lindell, and Amber Cedara. How could Athena give those awful, insincere speeches after the bond she had formed with Rowan and Cara, after the way Amber had saved her life? She had put signs up in their honour, but it felt like even that action would mean nothing if she did not back it up in her speech...

But then Finnick and Mags were reaching the fifteenth step, a light as shining on her, and Athena was left to stop thinking, putting on the most dazzling smile she could muster.

 

*

 

The dinner went off without a hitch. It was late night by the time Athena, Finnick, Mags, Alayne, the stylists, and the prep team were all returning to the train. She expected that the train would be taking off as soon as they all boarded, but they were staying in District Five for another night, because the next morning, they were taken on a tour of all the sights of the district - which were mainly just the power plants, including the gigantic hydroelectric dam that Athena had spotted earlier. From there, they were taken to District Five's Victor's Village, where Athena was introduced to the living victors of the district; Porter Millicent Tripp, the victor of the Thirty-Eighth Games, who had to wear a head brace after a spinal injury during her Games; Vida Foster, the victor of the Forty-Eighth Games, whose hair was entirely grey despite not even being forty yet and who muttered to herself almost constantly; and Wyatt Edison, the victor of the Sixtieth Games, who was the youngest and from the looks of it, the healthiest and most stable of the three, with dark hair and eyes and a handsome smirk that almost rivalled Finnick's - almost. After Athena's introduction to the victors, Wyatt offered to take them all on a tour of his home. He made it seem like it was a spur of the moment decision, but Athena knew that he had been told in advance that he would have to do it.

As he lead the way up the path to his home and they all made small talk, Wyatt said, over his shoulder, "So, how does it feel? You know, knowing that everyone wants to sleep with you?"

Finnick, who was likely far too used to this sort of thing, said, "I highly doubt that  _everyone_ \- "

"I wasn't talking to you," Wyatt said, cutting Finnick off and turning to face them all. Athena grinned, trying very hard not to laugh as she looked up at Finnick to watch his reaction. "I was talking to our newest shining victor, here."

Wyatt gestured at Athena, and her face fell, her amusement turning into shock. "Me?"

"Yes, you," Wyatt said, grinning at her reaction. "Come on, don't tell me you haven't noticed everyone falling over themselves over you?"

"Uh - I - I don't think that - uh - " Athena stammered.

Wyatt simply threw his head back and let out a loud laugh as he turned back around, reaching his house, unlocking the door, and opening it for them. "New victors are so funny. Don't worry, you'll learn soon enough."

Wyatt showed them around the house, while Athena noted that the houses in Victor's Village here, while still beautiful and large and spacious, had a much darker feel to them than in District Four, where the colours were all white or other light colours. After the tour, they were filmed and photographed having tea together. The moment the cameras were off, though, Alayne was jumping to her feet, insisting they must get going, because, "We are on a  _schedule_ , here!"

They all squished into one armoured truck driven by Peacekeepers on the way back to the train station, and this time, as soon as they were all on the train, it was lurching forward, already moving at its usual fast pace. They would reach District Six around the same time they had reached District Five the next day.

Athena could do as she liked to pass the time, so as soon as she was changed out of the outfit her stylists had put her in for the morning, she worked on her art. She drew anything that came to mind; the scenery that flew past them, her mother and her sister sitting on the sofa together, the ocean. Finnick and Mags were with her while she drew, which she appreciated, because their presence was what kept her from drawing her Games again. Problems arose, however, when night fell and everyone went their separate ways. Athena couldn't sleep, so she kept drawing, but now that she was alone in the dark, she reverted back to drawing all the things she wished she could forget. She remembered what Finnick said about needing a new must and tried to focus on something that could calm her down. Her hands started moving again of their own accord, drawing quickly onto her recently acquired sketchbook. It wasn't until she was drawing the stands of his hair on more detail that she realized she had drawn Finnick. She stared down at the picture she had drawn, surprised and oddly horrified at the realization that she had drawn him as handsome as he really was.

"That's enough for today," Athena murmured.

She put down the sketchbook and her pencils and stretched out on her bed, vowing to not mention the drawing to a soul. She still kept the thing, though, and she told herself firmly that it was only because it was a nice drawing and she was proud of her progress.

 

*

 

Right after lunch the next day, her prep team was whisking her away once again to do her hair and makeup. They painted her lips the colour of roses, gave her silvery eye makeup, and put her hair up in an elegant knot. Tatiana and Syrio dressed her in a long-sleeved sheer dress that matched the colour of her lips, before placing a crown of red roses on her head. The red heels were higher than usual, making it a little difficult to walk.

There wouldn't be another ride through the city until they reached District Eight, and Athena was glad for it. The knowledge that she was in Cara Savera's home weighed heavily on her mind. She did not think she would be able to convincingly smile and wave at the crowds, knowing that Cara might have once been among them. As the group was ushered through District Six's Justice Building, Alayne was handing her another set of cards and giving her last minute pointers.

"Now, I know you're nervous, I know you're not quite used to the limelight - you will be one day, I can assure you - but try to put a little more enthusiasm, a little more  _passion_ in this one, okay?"

Athena nodded, which seemed to soothe Alayne. Before anyone could do anything else, the anthem was playing once again, and Athena was walking out onto the stage of the rather grey square, smiling widely and waving, while the mayor of the district, Bruno Cooper, gave his speech in her honour. While the mayor spoke, Athena looked out into the crowd, mostly to avoid looking up at the photograph of Cara. So many people were pale and thin and shivering, looking as though they were fading away. She remembered what her classmates would all say about District Six whenever it was brought up in class; that there was a serious issue of morphling addiction throughout the district, especially among the victors, who used the painkiller to forget their experiences in the Games...

When the mayor was finished giving his speech, Athena stepped forward to shake hands with him. With that, it was time for Athena's speech, so she stepped up to the microphone.

Reading from the cards, she said, "People of District Six! I'm so happy and so honoured to find myself in this wonderful district today. I've heard so many stories about how beautiful this district and its people are, and I can see already that it's true." Pale people with big eyes stared back at her blankly. She forced herself to continue. "The occasion for which I'm here is both a happy and a sad one. I'm happy to share my victory with you all, the victory that was obtained through the strength that was forged in the crucible of the Games. It is this strength that I find to be my greatest prize, for it is this strength that gets us through all hardship, that brings an end to the longest, hardest of nights, and brings us to a brighter tomorrow. Of course, I also owe my victory to..."

She was going to continue, but then she made the mistake of looking up from her cards and at the photograph of Cara Savera. She had her hair in her two plaits the way she had always liked to wear them. She was staring at the camera with her eyebrows slightly raised, an oddly knowing smile on her face, considering how young she was... something in Athena's heart seemed to break apart painfully. How many times had she been on the receiving end of that smile? How long had it been since she had seen it? Athena's eyes flickered down to the people gathered in front of the picture, at Cara Savera's family, and her heart dropped when she found Cara's sister. It had to be her sister; she looked like an older version of Cara. The only difference were the eyes; Cara's eyes had been hazel, but her sister's eyes were green. Other than that, they were identical, and it reminded her painfully of the future that had been robbed from Cara. And looking at Cara's family, at this girl who looked so much like her, standing in front of Cara's photograph, Athena knew that she could not read this speech that Alayne had written for her. Slowly, she lowered the cards, still held in her hands. And slowly, she began to speak again.

"I know that you've endured great losses in these Games," Athena said. "You lost two people by the names of Cara Savera and Kirk Martin. Part of the tragedy in these losses lie in that they were both such good people... people who deserved much better than what they were given in life.

"I didn't know Kirk Martin very well," she said, looking over at the photograph of the solemn-faced Kirk, while his family stared at her, equally as solemn. "I never got the chance to. We never talked during training, and then... and then he killed himself in the beginning of the Games. Some people might take this as a sign of weakness, a sign of cowardice. I don't, however. I think, in his mind, Kirk was faced with an enormous decision to make, between a life of uncertainty where he would lost his grasp on who he is, or an end that he could understand, an end where he was still himself. It is a choice that I did not always understand, but now I do. And now I understand the amount of bravery is involved in such a choice. It's a bravery that should not be undervalued."

The people who seemed to be Kirk's parents and his younger brother were all crying, but someone who appeared to be his grandmother nodded at Athena steadily, as though approving of what she had said. Something about the woman reminded her of Hudson. It encouraged her to keep going. She looked over at Cara's picture and her family assembled in front of it again, feeling her heart sink again.

"I did know Cara a little better, though," she continued. "She was my ally, and maybe it's foolish of me to feel this way, considering the nature of the Games, but I also considered her a friend. We didn't start off that way; we didn't trust each other at first, but then she helped and protected me, when she didn't have to, when it would have been beter for her to leave me to die. And so I did the same for her - or I tried to, anyway. I won't pretend that I knew her better than some of you did, but I do know that... that she was too young and too good to deserve what happened to her." Athena felt tears forming in her eyes rapidly, but she forced herself to keep going. "I wish I could give you some grand reason that it's me instead of her. I wish I could tell you that it was something I did, or that she wasn't fast enough or strong enough or - or anything. I can't, though," she shrugged helplessly, tears falling down her face, "because the only thing she did wrong was stand in the wrong place at the wrong time. That's all it came down to. I tried to save her, tried to protect her, but I couldn't. And now that's a loss you must all feel, too, and for that, I'm so sorry. I know that it's a loss that can't be fixed with just... words, especially any words from me. But please know that my thoughts go with you as you try to overcome this loss, and that Cara Savera has my sincerest gratitude and appreciation for everything that she did for me. I just wish I could have done as much for her. Thank you."

Athena stepped away from the microphone as the audience burst into applause, much more genuine that the applause that greeted her. They were looking at her differently now, as though with the makings of respect. Cara's family was staring right at her as they clapped, tears in their eyes, but they had small smiles on their faces. Athena looked away for a moment, wiping her tears away hurriedly, before putting on another smile and waving at the crowd. A young boy with curly black hair and light brown skin approached her, holding a bouquet of roses like the ones on her head in one hand and small plaque in the other. She accepted them both with a smile and a thank you. Athena walked back into the Justice Building just as Mayor Cooper took over at the microphone, nodding at her briefly.

The first thing Athena heard when she stepped back into the Justice Building, flanked by Peacekeepers, was, "What was  _that?_ "

Athena looked over to see Alayne rushing towards her, looking furious. Athena was pretty sure Alayne wouldn't try to physically hurt her, and even if she tried, Athena could overpower her easily, but she still took a few steps back instinctively, until she almost backed into one of the Peacekeepers. Finnick, Mags, Tatiana, Syrio, Ajax, Leto, and Hestia followed after Alayne, moving much slower and looking distinctly less angry. She was pretty sure she was the five other Capitol citizens handing each other tissues and wiping away tears.

"A speech - ?" Athena began uncertainly, though she thought she had an idea as to why Alayne was this man.

" _That?_ That was  _not_ a _speech,_ " Alayne said angrily, stopping a foot in front of her. "That - that was a  _mockery_ of - of  _everything!_ Of the hard work I've put into writing that speech for you, of all that's been done for you, of- "

"I'm allowed to say personal stuff if I had a bond or a connection with one of the tributes, aren't I?" Athena asked.

"You're allowed to make a  _few remarks!_ " said Alayne. "Not completely disregard everything in favour of your own little whims! In all my years, I have never - that was - that was - "

"That was beautiful, Athena," said Mags, cutting Alayne off firmly.

"I'm with Mags," said Finnick. "That speech was really something, Wise One."

"Me, to," said Tatiana, while Syrio nodded and her prep team murmured their agreement. "It was so touching!"

"You really do need to lighten up sometimes, Alayne," added Ajax.

In other circumstances, Athena would have laughed at the look on Alayne's face; but in these circumstances, Athena just stayed silent as Syrio hastened to say, "What he  _means_ , Alayne, is that sometimes you get too lost in the details and miss the bigger picture, is all. Ignore everything else and simply look at the speech; it was quite beautiful, right?"

Alayne still didn't seem to agree, but she finally huffed, "Oh, fine, then! But hurry along and get ready for dinner - unless we want to throw  _that_ out the window, too!"

 

*

 

The rest of their visit in District Six continued without any problems. The only real sight to see in District Six was the lake that it bordered. They visited the four victors of the district; three of them were addicted to morphling and the other one was struggling to kick the addiction. They were all rather unstable because of it, and as such, they decided to skip the bit where they stayed for a tour, so that Athena and her team were back on the train even earlier than before. Athena was exhausted; she hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, but even as she tried to sleep that night, she still couldn't manage it. She had hoped that perhaps making her speech about Cara would help soothe her a little more when she went to bed, but Cara Savera persisted in occupying her mind, in haunting her nightmares when she did manage to get a bit of sleep. By the time they were reaching District Seven and her prep team was working on her, they had to apply much more makeup around her eyes to conceal the dark circles there.

They were a little early when they reached District Seven's Justice Building, giving Tatiana and Syrio time to adjust the outfit they had put her in; tight pants the colour of tree bark with boots to match, and a tight, low-cut shirt with a jacket to match the colour of leaves (it was colder in District Seven, more snowy, which means they had to abandon dresses for the time being). Her stylists clearly had seen no need for subtlety when trying to make reference to District Seven's main industry of lumber. Alayne hovered over her while they did it, holding more cards and looking tense.

"Are you going to be using the proper speech this time around?"

Athena did not answer right away. District Seven had been not only Rowan Lindell's home district, but Amber Cedara's, as well. The thought of reading one of Alayne's speeches filled her with dread.

Apparently her hesitation told Alayne all that she needed to know, because she let out an exasperated sigh, putting the cards away and saying, "Oh, very  _well_ , then!"

Athena suddenly felt the urge to apologize to Alayne, but before she could work out what to say, the anthem was playing and it was time for Athena to walk out on stage, smiling and waving to the politely applauding crowd. The people in District Seven appeared to be very different from those of District Six; many of them physically stronger, perhaps from the hard work that probably came from working in an industry like lumber. Still, many of them had a rather weary look to them, a look that Athena had seen on Rowan before more than once. While Mayor Ava Barker gave the speech in Athena's honour, Athena looked at the families standing in front of Rowan's and Amber's respective pictures. In front of Rowan's picture were two people who had to be his parents, as well as two other children, one daughter who looked a bit older than Athena and Rowan alike, and the younger son for whom Rowan had volunteered. Athena had no way of knowing if this was on purpose, but Rowan's brother had grown out his hair so that he looked just like a younger version of Rowan. There were only two people in front of Amber's picture; a girl that must have been Amber's twin, and a boy that looked a year or so older. Looking at Amber Cedara's identical twin unnerved Athena, so she looked up at the pictures of the tributes that were behind the families.

Athena's eyes were still lingering on Rowan's photograph when the mayor finished her speech and gestured for Athena to step forward. Someone handed Mayor Barker a box, and the mayor opened it to reveal a golden medallion with District Seven's seal on it.

The mayor held it out to her, saying, "We ask you to please wear this medallion in honour of our district, if you so please."

Athena didn't really have a choice in wearing it whether she so pleased or not, but she still smiled brightly and said, "It would be my honour."

Athena stepped forward, ducking her head to allow Mayor Barker to place the medallion around her neck. She then turned to face the crowd and held up the medallion with a smile for all of them to see. The crowd burst into applause again, and now it was time for her speech. As Athena stepped up to the microphone, her eyes found the gigantic pictures of the two dead tributes again. Amber Cedara was glaring at the camera, her eyebrows raised and her mouth curled into a scowl. Still, Athena thought that she could see a fear, a vulnerability in Amber's bright blue eyes that she hadn't always noticed. Rowan looked utterly different from his former district partner. He had that same steady, friendly smile that had been a source of comfort for Athena in the arena, monolid eyes shining, his grown out black hair slightly messy. It seemed almost impossible for that that smiling, friendly boy had been bleeding out in her arms months ago...

"People of District Seven!" said Athena, smiling. "It's such an honour to be in your beautiful district! I thank you sincerely for your generosity and your hospitality in welcoming me here so warmly; it's something I truly appreciate. I only wish... the reasons I'm here weren't so tragic, because I know you've endured a great loss with the deaths of the tributes who came from here, Rowan Lindell and Amber Cedara. They were both so young, and yet so brave in every moment; they carried themselves with honour and with dignity.

"I can't say I knew Amber very well," Athena said, looking towards Amber's small family. "We only ever spoke to each other twice. But she saw me on the verge of death and saved my life, even risking her own safety to do it. And then she was presented with a chance to kill me, and instead showed me mercy. That's only one example of the honour and the dignity that I know she carried herself with. I regret not being able to know her better, and I regret what happened to her, the fate that she didn't deserve. The help that she gave me saved my life, and it's a debt that I know I can never repay.

"I did know Rowan," she continued, looking over at Rowan's picture, feeling her heart squeeze painfully in her chest. She looked down at his family and saw them watching her attentively, despite the desolate expressions on their faces. "We were allies, and I felt like he was my friend, too, even though that might seem stupid or foolish. We might not have trusted each other at first, but we got closer. We looked after each other in there, but I couldn't protect him enough, and he died because of it." Athena's voice broke, and she felt tears stinging her eyes. "I tried to save him, but... but I couldn't. All I could do for him was make sure he wasn't alone... I see him in sunrises, and it's not fair that he never gets to see another one again. He deserved so much better. I wish both of your families peace, though I know it might not mean much from me, and please know that... both of these tributes will never be forgotten by me. They have a place in my mind and in my heart that can't be replaced. Thank you."

Athena took a step back as the crowd started clapping again, and this time, there were a few whistles. Athena looked over at the two families. Amber's family of two weren't clapping, but when she made eye contact, they nodded at her once. Amber's photograph was still scowling, but Athena thought she looked a little less hostile than she had a moment before. Everyone in Rowan's family was crying, his mother burying her head in his father's chest, but they gave her a watery smile as they clapped for her. She was presented with a large, wooden plaque, which she took with another winning smile, before Mayor Barker took over again and Athena retreated into the Justice Building, wiping her tears from her face.

Alayne was nowhere to be found as her team surrounded her and they were taken on a quick tour of the building. Athena didn't question it, figuring the escort needed her time to be angry at Athena before she could be seen again. As Athena had predicted, when Alayne showed up for dinner, she was perfectly civil, if a little frosty, with Athena. The next morning, it wasn't very long until they departed on their way to District Eight; District Seven wasn't a particularly beautiful, scenic district, so once they got a quick look at some of the woodland and the factories in the district, they were finished sightseeing. They did visit Victor's Village (where the houses, though still beautiful and elegant, were made of wood) to meet the six victors of the district, where a man named Blight, who was a little twitchy and slow to act but still kind and well-meaning, gave them a tour of his home and had them all stop for tea. As soon as that was done, though, they were back on the train and headed for District Eight.

Athena was trying to distract herself by looking over her sketches, seated on one of the plush sofas in the last car of the train, when Finnick entered the room. Athena flipped a few pages to a different sketch before he could come too close, hoping she did it in a way that seemed casual; she had been looking at the sketch she had done of him.

"Hey," she said, trying to sound casual.

"Hey," he said, then gestured to the spot beside her. "Do you mind if I sit?"

"No, not at all," she said, watching him sit down beside her and closing the sketchbook casually.

"So," he said, "District Eight tomorrow. What's the game plan?"

"Uh - what it always is, I guess," she said, purposely avoiding his real question. "I'm sure Alayne can recite it for you better than I can - "

"You know that I meant."

Athena let out a sigh. "If Alayne doesn't cut out my tongue, I think I'm going to keep making my own speeches.

"I think she might be hoping that it'll be over now," Finnick said. "You were close with Rowan and Cara, but you didn't really know the tributes from District Eight very well."

"Yeah, especially since I killed one and watched the other one get ripped to shreds," Athena said with a humourless laugh. "It's not about how well I knew them. Those tributes - and their families - deserve better than those speeches Alayne wrote for me. That's all."

"So you're going to keep going?" he asked.

"Do you disapprove?" she asked.

"No, actually," he said matter-of-factly, "those two speeches have been some of the best things I've seen come out of a Victory Tour in a long, long time. I'm just worried about you."

"Why would you be worried?" she frowned.

Finnick didn't answer right away. He looked around the car, as though trying to find something that was hidden, before his eyes settled on her face and something in his expression seemed to shift. "Nothing. Never mind. I'm just paranoid. Occupational hazard when you're a victor." Before Athena could say anything about that, he stood up and said, "Come on, we should go. It'll be lunch soon."

With that, Finnick turned around and started walking away, leaving Athena to follow along after him.


	25. XXV

**XXV**

 

When they arrived in District Eight, everything was going just as scheduled. District Eight was an urban place stinking of industrial fumes, people houses in rundown tenements. Even if there wasn't any snow outside, Athena didn't think she would be able to find much greenery here. The people here dressed differently than she was used to, dressed in more vibrant, bolder fabrics - which she supposed wasn't surprising, considering that due to their industry being textiles, they provided fabrics and clothing for the entire country. Just like in District Five, Athena, dressed in a navy blue, fitted jumpsuit and boots with her hair put in a loose braid, rode in a car with the roof and windows down, greeting applauding crowds as they rode through the city. Athena thought she did quite well; she managed a radiant smile for the entire slow ride through the city, and she thought she did quite a good job of masking her discomfort at being alone in a car with four armed Peacekeepers. Still, she was quite relieved when the car parked behind the Justice Building and she was being ushered in through the back door.

Her team were all waiting for her as soon as she walked in the door. Alayne, she noticed, hadn't even bothered to prepare a speech for her this time. They began walking towards the front of the building, where they knew the square would be. They had almost reached the double doors, when two Peacekeepers turned the corner and stepped in front of them, blocking their way. They stopped abruptly, staring at them. Their helmets shielded their eyes from view, but it was evident enough that the Peacekeepers were looking at Athena.

"Come with us," one of them said.

Athena did not come with them. There was a moment of tense silence, before she looked between them and asked, "Why?"

"Your presence has been requested," the Peacekeeper replied. "He does not like to be kept waiting."

"Who doesn't like to be kept waiting?" Athena demanded, still not moving. "Who requested my presence?"

"What she means is," Alayne interjected quickly, and Athena noted that it was the first time she had seen Alayne be alarmed by Peacekeepers, "we're on quite a tight schedule, you know, she has to go on stage any minute now - "

"It can wait," said the other Peacekeeper dismissively, "until she has gone where she needs to."

Athena's brow furrowed at that, frowning; the Victory Tour was no small event in Panem. It was considered nearly as important as the Hunger Games themselves. To say that an event during the Tour could wait as long as it needed to was a rather big statement to make.

"If this is so important, I feel like I have a right to know who wants to see me so bad and why."

"This is of no matter."

"It seems to me like it's of a lot of mater, actually - "

"Athena," said Alayne, clearly trying to be placating but sounding more condescending; perhaps she thought the sooner Athena went and spoke to whoever wanted to speak to her, the sooner they could get back on that tight schedule. "Just go with the Peacekeepers, they're just doing their jobs. They're here to keep you safe, don't worry."

 _That's easy to say when you're not from the districts,_ Athena thought.  _When you've never seen them hurt people you know or people you love. When you've never had to worry about it happening._

Instead, she just said stubbornly, "I'm not going until I know who sent me - and why."

"How about I go with her," Finnick offered, stepping forward. "Two of you, two of us - sound fair?"

"She is to come alone," said the second Peacekeeper.

"Why?" she asked impatiently. "Who wants me alone?"

"We will take you by force if necessary," the first Peacekeeper simply said.

She jumped slightly as a hand touched her shoulder. She looked behind her and saw it was only Mags, squeezing her shoulder gently and giving her a reassuring glance. Holding back a sigh, Athena looked back at the two Peacekeepers.

"I'll be back," she mumbled to Finnick, Mags, Alayne, the stylists, and the prep team.

Then, Athena walked forward, moving between the Peacekeepers, forcing them to part in order to let her pass. It was a small, rather insignificant act of rebellion, but it was an outlet for some of her irritation. They moved on either side of her, flanking her, their guns in their hands. They led the way, until they were outside a set of wooden double doors.

"Go in," the masculine-sounding Peacekeeper said shortly.

She looked at the two Peacekeepers warily, before moving towards the doors and opening them, walking inside slowly, closing the door behind her. From the looks of it, the room, which appeared to be an office, was the most lavishly decorated part of the building, with elegantly carved wooden furniture and sofas and cushions made of plush fabric. The scent of industrial fumes escaped her here, and instead she noted a scent of blood and roses so strong that it made her head spin. When she saw who was sitting at the desk, she stopped dead in her tracks, her heart stopping.

President Snow was sitting calmly, his hands folded. He was the way she remembered him; pale and thin as paper, with white hair and thick lips that seemed to pull across his face, giving Athena the distinct impression he had them altered surgically to make him seem more appealing - Athena didn't really think he had succeeded, though. His eyes - his whole appearance, really - reminded her of a snake's. He was dressed all in white so that he could have melded with the snow outside, with a white rose at his lapel. The scent of blood and roses seemed to be coming entirely from him. Immediately, she knew why the Peacekeepers hadn't told her who had sent for her. Snow didn't want her to be prepared when she saw him. Furious at Snow for doing this to her and at herself for not realizing this sooner, she tried to remain as composed as possible.

"President Snow," she said, forcing a bright smile. "It's such an honour to meet you."

Snow chuckled, as though what she had said amused him. "Athena Maris. A pleasure. Please, sit."

Athena walked over and sat down in the seat across from him, keeping her hands folded in her lap. Now that she was sitting closer to him, it was hard not to gag on the smell of blood and roses. She wondered if the smell of blood was always there and he used roses to try and cover it up. Athena wondered what could have happened to make him smell like blood so often, but the thought threatened to make her shiver, and she wanted to stay composed, so she forced the thought out of her mind. Snow did not speak first, and Athena realized after a moment it was because he wanted her to talk first. Figuring it was best if she obliged him, she spoke.

"I am curious about why you wanted to see me," Athena said, forcing herself not to fidget. "And why you insisted on me being alone."

Snow smiled, but it was insincere and twisted and wrong. "Why, I thought it was quite past time to meet Panem's newest victor in person. There was the crowning, of course, but I found myself impatient for a proper meeting with you. And I had... other matters to discuss with you that could not wait for your arrival in the Capitol."

"Other matters?" she repeated slowly.

Snow didn't answer immediately, pausing, letting the tense silence drag on. Finally, he said, "Athena; goddess of wisdom and battle strategy - though as you showed us, you're not one for battles any longer. Not because you  _can't_ fight, simply because you  _choose_ not to."

Athena said nothing to this. She didn't have to; Snow continued anyway.

"Your victory in these Games were a mere coincidence. Had you and your district partner simply been standing in different positions, it would be Kai Emerson in your chair."

"I know that," Athena replied, because it was hard for her to ever escape that fact. "I'm afraid I can't see what you'd like me to do about it."

"It's quite simply what I want you to do about it," Snow replied. "I want your speeches to the Districts to reflect the truth. I want you to stop promoting your own arrogance and rebellious ideals. Hearing it from a victor of a respected district such as Four will only encourage them."

"Rebellious ideals?" she repeated blankly. "I don't understand. I'm only honouring the lost tributes. Their families have endured a great loss, all I'm doing is trying to respect that."

"You're condemning the Games and its symbolic significance in our country," Snow replied. "It must be known that sometimes to have peace, there must be blood. The ideals you promote erases that."

Athena said nothing to that, too busy trying to fight off the bile threatening to rush up her throat. Snow continue talking at her silence.

"Athena, you are a truly lovely-looking girl," Snow commented, his smile sickly-sweet. "And I can tell you with confidence that all of the Capitol agrees with me."

"Thank you," Athena said stiffly. "And tell all of the Capitol that their praise flatters me."

Snow smiled faintly, before saying, "Finnick Odair was one of your mentors, correct?"

"Yes," Athena said shortly, trying not to sound too contemptuous.

"Are you two... close?" he asked.

"We're friends," Athena said, though she found it odd that she was discussing her personal relationships with President Snow; it made her a little uneasy.

"Has he told you about my arrangement with him?" Snow said.

The way Snow spoke of it made it sound so civil, so simple, so... humane. He wasn't forcing Finnick to sleep with members of the Capitol, he wasn't threatening him with killing his loved ones, he just had an  _arrangement_ with Finnick, a normal sort of arrangement that happened all the time. For a split second, it was dangerously tempting to kill Snow then and there.

"He has," was all Athena said.

"Excellent," Snow said, looking pleased. "It saves me from having to explain. How would you feel about joining him in this arrangement?"

Athena felt an unpleasant swooping sensation in the pit of her stomach, suddenly feeling as though she would throw up the contents of her lunch. Still, though, she could not pretend she was surprised by this. Hadn't she known this was a possibility? Hadn't she known that the Capitol found her pretty, that as long as she was considered desirable enough, she might have to do this? She had thought about it often enough since Finnick had told her about it. There was a long silence before she replied, trying to ensure that her voice wouldn't shake.

"Is that an offer or a demand?" she said finally.

"It's whatever you want it to be," Snow replied, leaning back in his seat and gazing at her carefully. "But it is important that you keep the Capitol happy and satisfied. If you cannot do it through your words, then we'll have to find other means for you to do it. Otherwise, there will be chaos. What would the people - the other victors - think if they thought that their status made them invincible? They need to be shown otherwise."

"And if I don't satisfy them in any way at all?" she asked quietly, dreading the answer already.

Snow was silent for a moment, staring at her. Then, he said, "I am so sorry to hear about your father. It must have been so terrible to hear after your victory in the Games. You and the rest of your family must be devastated."

"Thank you for your condolences," Athena said flatly, knowing they weren't genuine.

"Your sister is younger, correct? Calypso, her name is, isn't it?" he asked. She nodded once. "And your mother is called... Marella, if I remember correctly." Athena nodded once more. "I'm sure they're such lovely people. I would love to meet them."

"Maybe we can arrange that one day," Athena said, but she knew if she could do anything about it, President Snow would never set foot anywhere near her mother and her sister.

"I await that day patiently," Snow said with a small nod. "I'm sure after something as devastating as the loss of your father, it would be tragic if something were to happen to either of them."

Athena was silent as those words sunk in, horror seeping into her very bones. Snow would hurt her family. And he wouldn't just kill them and end it; he'd make them hurt to make her hurt. It was sell her body to the Capitol or lose her family - or do what Snow wanted now.

"So - so what do you want me to do?" she asked carefully.

"Simple," Snow smiled. "I want you to smile and wave at the cameras and at the people. I want you to use the speeches your escort has been so kind as to write for you. I want you to make it clear that you are grateful for the Capitol and all we have done for you. Ad I want you to be convincing. Convince the people. Convince  _me_. Otherwise," he leaned forward towards her, lowering his voice to a whisper, "there is a very wealthy man in the Capitol who, as I hear it, is willing to pay top dollar for one night with you."

It took all her strength not to shudder at those words. She simply nodded, and forced the most genuine smile she could.

"I will. I'll convince you."

"Excellent," said Snow, satisfied, but he did not move away, still leaning in towards her. "I see such potential in you, Miss Maris. I think we could do such great things for this country, but only if we work together. Don't you agree?"

Athena forced herself to smile wider and nodded once, saying, "Yes, sir."

Snow smiled, finally leaning away from her again to sit up straighter, gazing down at her. Athena could breathe a little easier now that there was a little more distance between their faces. "I'm quite excited for the future in front of us. I see no reason for it to be anything but long and prosperous - unless, of course, you have other ideas, in which case, I will be forced to adapt."

"No," said Athena, "no other ideas at all. My image for the future is the same as yours."

Snow's twisted sort of smile widened even further as he said, "Excellent. Now run along. It will be time for your speech at any moment. The people are waiting."

Athena rose to her feet slowly, nodding to him once, and murmuring, "President Snow."

With that, she turned and walked out of the room as quickly as she could without showing how eager she was to be away from him. She could only hope that he did not notice her shaking hands.

Athena rejoined the others just before she was to walk onto the stage. Everyone bombarded her with questions immediately.

"Who was it?"

"What did they want?"

"Are you okay? You look terrified."

She just shook her head, waving them off, too shaken to answer any of their questions about her encounter with Snow.

"I'm about to go on; I'll explain later," she said shortly.

At that moment, the anthem began playing and the doors swung open, and she walked forward immediately, forcing the wide, winning smile that she was hatting more and more. The people clapped politely at her entrance, as they were obligated to do, then fell surprisingly silent, watching her with bated breath. They saw her speeches, she realized. They heard what she said in Districts Six and Seven and were wondering what message she had for them. They wanted something honest. And after what she did to Burton Angora, after witnessing what happened to Paige Yarnn, it was the least she could do. And yet she could not, if she wanted her mother and sister to be okay.

They would hate her if she gave a Capitol speech. Hate her and likely never forgive her, and she could not blame them. But didn't she deserve it? It was her that killed Burton Angora and too many others. It was her that committed these crimes, her that should bear the brunt of it. Nobody else. Certainly not Calypso or her mother.

So, when the mayor of the district finished making her speech, Athena stepped up to the microphone and said, "People of District Eight! It is an honour and a privilege to be in your beautiful district."

Athena looked around at the crowd. They were watching so avidly, clearly hoping she would have something more genuine for them, too. Athena hadn't initially understood what Sow was talking about when he said that her speeches were promoting rebellious ideals or that she was encouraging them to do anything, but she supposed she was starting to understand now. It wasn't quite that she was sparking a rebellion; more that the faces she was looking at were the faces of the weary and the abused who were, for the first time in their lives, being told something other than the same lies that they had been fed over and over again. Snow could say all he liked that the significance of the Games was to show that sometimes blood needed to be shed to bring peace, but Athena knew that it was to show the districts the amount of power the Capitol had over them; if Athena gave speeches that actually honoured the dead tributes, it would mean that their lives weren't disposable and that they had value. It wasn't nearly enough to start an actual rebellion or even really bring about any large acts of rebellion, but it was enough to bring hope to the people that their lives could be different, could be better, could spark unrest among the districts, could allow them to start speaking up against the injustices they were facing. Snow could not have that. No wonder he had come all the way from the Capitol personally to speak to her, rather than waiting for her arrival in the Capitol; clearly he needed to stop her before she spoke the way she had been speaking to all the remaining districts.

Athena looked up at the pictures of the tributes of District Eight. Burton Angora's eyes seemed to bore directly into Athena's, tall and lean and brooding, but all Athena could see was the surprised, pained look on his face as she shoved her spear in his stomach... in front of the photograph was only one person, an old woman with wrinkled skin and hair the colour of iron, appearing to be his grandmother, watching Athena with sad, tired eye. Paige Yarnn was smiling a little in her photograph, but Athena could detect fear in her eyes, could hear her screams and cries for help as she was ripped apart by the traps underneath the sand. In front of Paige's photograph were two people who appeared to be her parents, holding onto each other tightly, as though it was the only thing keeping them standing.

Athena could not look at them and do what she was about to do, so she looked ahead of her, at the Clock Tower she could see in the distance that extended towards the sky as she continued. "The reason that I'm here is both a happy and sad one. I... I'm here to share my victory with you all... a... a victory that was brought about by the strength that was forged during the Games. I believe that - that that strength is my greatest prize in light of my victory, for... for I'm sure you can all agree with me that it's that strength that can... that can overcome hardships, brings us to the end of the coldest, hardest night, and brings us to a brighter tomorrow. But I don't just owe my victory to my strength, but also to the... the limitless kindness and generosity of the Capitol, and their constant support throughout the Games... I don't know where I would be without it.

"But I also want to share with you the sorrows of your losses," she continued, and though she wasn't looking at the audience, she could still sense them all straightening up, becoming more attentive; perhaps they thought this was where she would redeem herself, where she would give her real speech. Swallowing down guilt and disgust at herself, she said, "The tributes of this district were... they were - uh - great and noble warriors who brought... honour to their families and pride to their people. I see th - I see myself in their deaths. I see that we are all united, both victor and vanquished, in serving a common goal... the power and the glory of the Capitol, which... which I have come to appreciate has no bounds..."

The speech was even more difficult to give than it was the first time. She didn't have Alayne's cards with her this time, so she had to try to remember what they had said when she read them in District Five. The words were even more torturous to say than the first time around. It was even worse than the first time because this crowd had expected more from her; they had expected her to honour their dead and give them hope, and instead she was feeding them all the same lies as before. Athena realized in that moment that Snow didn't just mean for her to reverse the effects of what she had done, but to destroy any credibility she might have had among the districts. If they stopped respecting her and started hating her instead, they would no longer listen to her, and there went any power and influence she might have still had.

"... Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever," Athena said finally, but found little relief in finishing the damn speech.

When she was finished, there were several moments of heavy silence before the polite applause started up again. Everyone was too surprised by what she had done, it had been the last thing anyone had been expecting. When the applause did happen, it was short and lukewarm and she could see anger on their faces. Athena could not bring herself to look at the photographs of the dead tributes or at their families, so instead she looked at Mayor Weft, who took a few moments herself to remember to spring into action. The mayor was handed a sash made of fine, golden silk, which she put on Athena, before handing her a plaque. The moment the plaque was in her hands and the mayor was talking again, Athena walked off the stage and back into the Justice Building. Trying not to focus on the stunned looks on everyone's faces, she turned to Alayne.

"Start writing my speeches again," she said, looking down at the floor beside her. "I'm sorry for not using them before. I will from now on."

She walked away quickly and quietly before anyone could react to that. Athena didn't quite know where she was going, unfamiliar with the building, but she found an empty storage room a few floors up that looked like it had been left alone for years, so she figured she was safe here. She wandered over to a large, sturdy looking crate, sat down on it, leaning against the wall, trying to figure out how to stop feeling like she was drowning.

She wasn't left alone as long as she liked, because the door opened and in walked Finnick, looking relieved to have found her.

"There you are," he said. "We're all looking for you, trying to figure out where you went to hide."

"Is it really hiding if I'm just sitting here?" she said blandly.

"It is if you're doing it in an old, abandoned storage room that nobody has been in for years - except when I hid here during my Victory Tour."

"You came here, too?" Athena asked, surprised. "Why?"

"Same reason as I think you're doing it," he replied, walking further into the room. "Everything became too much. Then Mags found me. It's how I knew to look here. Mags knew you'd be here, too, I think, but she had me go alone. I think it might be a rite of passage for mentors."

"What made you think I'd come here, too?" she said.

"Great minds think alike," he shrugged, now right in front of her so she had to look straight up to see his face. "And we're more alike than I think you want to admit."

"I wouldn't mind being more like you," she said, smiling slightly. "I definitely wouldn't mind being a few inches taller."

He grinned. "Very funny."

"I wasn't trying to be funny," Athena said. "Your height might be one of your best qualities."

"I think I have too many of those to really be able to rank them," he replied.

"I would have to disagree," she grinned.

"You insult yourself," Finnick said, pulling up a crate from behind him and sitting across from her. She was acutely, probably embarrassingly aware of their knees brushing against each other. "We're a lot alike, remember?"

She let out a laugh in spite of herself, before stopping abruptly, remembering how Snow offered to make them even more alike.

Finnick noticed the change in mood and immediately became concerned. "What is it? Who wanted to see you that has you like this?"

"Can you really not guess?" she said heavily.

"It - was it Snow?" he asked. She nodded silently. "What did he say? What did he do?"

"He said my speeches were promoting the wrong ideals," Athena replied. "That I needed to start using the speeches Alayne writes for me. That I need to smile and wave and convince him and the people that I'm so grateful for the Capitol and their generosity. And if I can't keep the Capitol happy and satisfied with my words, I'd have to do it through... other means."

"What other - " Finnick began, but then stopped abruptly, suddenly understanding. His whole body tense, his face changing from concern to anger. "With your body. He means keep the Capitol happy and satisfied with your body. He wants to do to you what he did to me."

She just nodded again.

"I could kill him," he said, standing up and pacing, running a hand through his hair. "I could kill him right now if I got him alone."

"Watch it," Athena warned. "You don't want the wrong people hearing the wrong things."

"Let them hear," Finnick shook his head. "I  _want_ them to hear."

"That's reckless and stupid and you know you'd regret it if they ever actually did hear," Athena said. "Stop being reckless and saying stupid things and sit down."

He looked over at her and seemed to come to his sense. He walked back over to the crate and sat on it again, though he still looked restless.

"What - what did you say?" he asked warily.

"If I agreed to the second option, do you think I'd have gone up there and made that stupid speech?" she replied miserably. "I told him I'd convince him. I didn't know what else to do. I still don't."

She found it very hard to look at Finnick and say that. She settled for looking down at her knees. He seemed to notice.

"Athena - listen, Athena," he leaned forward, taking her face in his hands, brushing her cheek with his thumb. "Don't feel guilty, okay? Don't. You're doing what you have to do to protect yourself, you mother and your sister. I will never, ever blame you for that or hold it against you, and you shouldn't either. If Snow gave me another choice, I would've taken it, too."

Athena smiled faintly, placing her hand on top of his and squeezing it lightly. He moved his hand away from her face, but their hands stayed together, fingers interlocking almost automatically. They stayed like that for a time, not speaking, hardly moving, but  _together._

"This was what you were worried about, wasn't it?" Athena said suddenly, breaking the silence. "When you said you were worried about me yesterday? You said it was nothing, but this was it, wasn't it?"

Finnick was silent for a moment, before saying slowly, "I had hope - I don't know where I got it from - that it might work out, but... yes. You'll realize soon that you're always worried about this kind of thing happening."

"Right," Athena said slowly. "Well... I guess we have to make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Okay," said Finnick. "So, what's the plan?"

"Well," she said, letting out a sigh. "I'm going to start using Alayne's speeches again. I'm going to smile and wave and gush about the Capitol. And I'm going to hope that all of this doesn't make me throw up."

"Do you want me and Mags out there with you?" asked Finnick. "While you make your speeches, I mean."

Athena's heart lifted at the thought, but she forced herself not to get her hopes up. "Is that allowed?"

Finnick shrugged. "It's not conventional, but it's also not forbidden. Even if it is, we'll find a way around it. I just don't want you to do this alone."

Athena smiled weakly at him, her thumb rubbing the back of his hand. "I don't deserve this. People like you and Mags."

"You deserve us and way more," Finnick said firmly, moving to sit on a crate beside her, their hands still joined together. Athena tried not to think about how much their bodies were touching. "Don't ever forget that, Athena."

Athena smiled a little wider and it did not feel forced at all. "I'm going to need to work on being more convincing, though. Snow wants me to convince the people and him, and I was far from convincing up there. I was a mess the whole time."

"It'll probably help when you have Alayne's cards to look off of," Finnick said fairly. "We might be able to get Alayne to write them up and give them to you in advance, that way you have more time to go over it."

Athena supposed that this would, technically speaking, be helpful, though it did nothing to help her nerves or her guilt or her fear. "That might be good, I guess. But it's the same sort of thing, isn't it? The whole thing makes me sick to my stomach," he breathed a laugh, but Athena stared at him very seriously. "You think I'm joking, but I wanted to throw up the first time I read on of her speeches. I might actually do it on stage one day."

"Try to avoid that," he advised wisely.

"Finnick, the tributes from District Nine were brother and sister," Athena said. "And I killed one of them. I'm supposed to go up there and say that me murdering that girl brought honour to their families?"

"That's exactly what you're supposed to do," Finnick nodded. "Because you know what happens if you don't."

Athena was silent, and there was that feeling of drowning again, overwhelming. "How do you move past it? How do you get over doing something like this?"

"You don't," he replied lowly. "You can't. You just try to live with it best as you can. Having people - people who understand - helps. And I... I'm willing to be one of your people, as long as you want me to be. And - uh - Mags is, too."

It was such an honest, unexpected thing that for a moment, she had to fight off that scratchy feeling in her throat that always led to tears, even though for once they would be of joy. "I - thank you. And I'll be one of your people, as long as you want me to be. And the same will always go for Mags."

They looked away from each other and released each other's hands as they heard footsteps from outside the room, some distance away. They looked back at each other.

"We should get back out there," said Finnick. "You'll have to get ready for the dinner."

Athena nodded, knowing he was right. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. Finnick jumped to his feet, then extended a hand to her again.

"Ready?"

"No," she admitted, but grabbed his hand anyway.

Athena and Finnick walked back out the door, and it felt as though Athena was sucked into what quickly became an indistinguishable round of ceremonies, dinners, and train rides. Every day was the same. She woke up. She got dressed. She rode through cheering crowds. She listened to a speech in her honour. She gave a thank you speech in return, but only the ones Alayne wrote for her, nothing more, nothing less. She got dressed in her evening clothes. She attended dinner. She toured the notable sights of the district. She met with the victors of the district. She got back on the train. The process began anew for the next district.

The crowds that she spoke to would look up at her hopefully, clearly wanting her to give them something genuine, something that honoured their lost loved ones, something real that they could hold onto, but she didn't, because she couldn't. She just read from the speeches Alayne gave her as enthusiastically and happily as she could, only turning slightly more serious for the parts that discussed the dead tributes, smiling in a way that she hoped was not as vacant as she felt. Finnick and Mags, as promised, began standing on stage with her during her speeches. Alayne, her stylists, and her prep team all started doing it, too, and Athena supposed she had to appreciate the show of solidarity, even though none of them had any idea why they were doing it.

The whole thing was awful, but some moments in particular were worse than others. Having to look Gwenith and Harvey Miller's family in the eye while she gave that awful speech was a low point, but even that didn't light a candle to how terrible it was to give her speech in District Twelve. Athena knew that Twelve was the poorest district, but she hadn't been nearly as prepared to face it as she thought she had been. The audience was filled with starving people with thin, heavily patched clothes and a weary cattle feel to them as they looked up at Athena, who was dressed in clothing that was worth enough money to keep some of these people fed for a month. The worst part of all, though, was being faced by Will Pinegrove and Marjorie Hopper and their families, particularly the latter. Athena had tried so hard to avoid it, but her eyes still found the photo of Marjorie with her curly hair and big, haunting eyes, and her family in front of her, her family that had already endured so much loss, her family that was watching their eldest daughter's look-a-like say all these awful words, as Athena concluded her speech with, "Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever."

The visit to Victor's Village in District Twelve did not last very long, considering there was only one living victor from there, Haymitch Abernathy, a paunchy, middle-aged man who seemed to be a combination of District Twelve's Merchant and Seam. He was considered quite special in Panem due to his status as the only living victor of District Twelve, but he didn't respond to the fame the way Finnick did, it seemed; he appeared to be something of a recluse and was already drunk despite the early hour. Athena remembered Finnick and Mags warning her of his alcohol addiction.

"So, I guess the trip to Victor's Village is going to be cut short, then," Athena had said when they told her about it. "They're not going to want to show him on television if he's drunk, right?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised," Mags replied. "Haymitch... rarely sober, but... can be very entertaining when the time calls for it."

"Yeah, he can be a bit of an asshole, but he's hard not to like," added Finnick.

Athena had thought about this and realized he was right. Athena had seen Haymitch on television before, and though he was rarely completely sober during those appearances, he did manage to make the crowd laugh. Sure enough, despite being a little rough, Haymitch was, for all intents and purposes, perfectly charming in his own way. Athena even liked him a little better than some of the other victors she had met, since everything about him seemed less forced - perhaps that had something to do with the alcohol running through his veins. Perhaps it was that that made Athena trust him enough to do what she did at the end of their visit. While they had been walking over to his home in Victor's Village (twelve houses and he was the only one who lived there; she couldn't blame him for drinking as much as he did, it must be awful, dealing with that sort of isolation from everyone else), Athena found a few flowers that seemed to be growing despite the winter weather, pretty purple blossoms that stuck out against all the white. Athena picked six of them, and when they were about to leave Haymitch's home, gave them to him.

Haymitch raised his eyebrows as he took them, saying, "Thanks, sweetheart. Now I wish I got you something, though."

"Oh, no, no, don't worry about it!" Athena said brightly, smiling. "It's my thank you to you for your hospitality!"

She then extended her arms to him, an invitation for a hug. Nobody thought anything of it; she had been acting a lot more open and friendly and cheerful with the people she interacted with on this Tour now, all part of her attempt to do as Snow wanted her to do. Haymitch seemed a little put off by the gesture, clearly not the cuddly type, but still pulled her into a hug.

Ignoring the heavy scent of alcohol that radiated from him, she whispered in his ear, as loudly as she dared, "Charity and Marjorie Hopper and Will Pinegrove. Do they have graves?"

"Yeah," he whispered back. "I went to all of their funerals. Heartbreaking to see; they were good kids. I really liked them."

"Can you put those flowers on their graves?" she asked, hoping he could hear in her voice how important it was to her. "For me, please. I don't know what else I can do for them. Please?"

Haymitch was silent for a second, before whispering, "Yeah. Yeah, sure thing, sweetheart."

Relieved, Athena pulled away from him. It might have been stupid to trust someone who spent a very small fraction of his time utterly sober with such a task, she knew. It was her only option, though, and when they pulled away and exchanged significant looks, Athena saw that Haymitch looked more sobered up than he had all morning.

Still, knowing that Haymitch might have laid those flowers on the Hopper sisters' and Will Pinegrove's graves didn't do anything to help her sleep at night. Her prep team had always had to worry about the dark circles under her eyes, but when they became even more pronounced than usual, everyone started realizing how little sleep she was getting. Alayne had started giving her pills to sleep, but they rarely worked, and even when they did, they did nothing to stop the nightmares that seemed to only increase in number and intensity, the nightmares that chased her back into consciousness.

The night they were leaving District Twelve, Athena dreamt of Marjorie Hopper throwing the knife that landed in Will Pinegrove's chest, but Will Pinegrove turned into her father. Athena held him while he died, sobbing, but then her father turned into Marjorie Hopper, calling out to Charity, to her real sister, over and over again. Athena tried desperately to explain that she was not Charity, but every time she spoke, her voice felt like it was being drowned out by Rowan and Cara calling out to her desperately, trying to get her to save them. Athena looked around, but couldn't find them anywhere. She started screaming, trying to be heard over their voices, but they only got louder the more she did.

Athena was still screaming when she woke up, bolting upright and shaking in her bed. She took a moment to return to reality. She was not in the arena. She was in her chambers on the train, which was currently heading for District One. Everyone in her dream except for her was dead. She was the only one left. None of that knowledge made her feel any better. She couldn't stand to stay in bed any longer, though, so still shaking, Athena untangled herself from her blankets with difficulty, before shuffling out of the room to head for the kitchen. Once she found it, she poured herself a glass of water and walked over to the sofas in the next room, nearly collapsing onto it. She drained the water, before pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs, trying to steady herself, tears stinging her eyes. She jumped when the doors slid open and someone stumbled in, but relaxed slightly when she saw it was only Finnick, his hair tousled and his clothes dishevelled.

"Oh, thank God," he said, relieved. "I heard screaming coming from your room. I tried knocking, but you wouldn't answer - when I walked in, you were gone and I - I got worried."

"I'm fine, it was just a nightmare," Athena shook her head, looking away from him, feeling rather embarrassed now. "Sorry to wake you."

"Hey, don't worry about it," he insisted, walking toward her. "Are you okay, though?"

"Fine," she said, avoiding looking at him for too long. "I told you, it was just a dream. I overreacted. It's stupid."

"Well, I don't think so - that it's stupid, I mean," he said. "I get them, too. About the Games - that's what the dream was about, right?" She hesitated, before nodding slowly. "We all do, I think. All the victors, I mean. It's fine."

She didn't respond to that, though she wasn't sure how he could say any of this was fine at all.

"You can talk about it with me, if you want," he added. "Not right now or anything. But if you get another one and you're too freaked out to go back to sleep... you know where to find me."

Again, Athena was silent, unsure of what to say, or if she'd be able to say anything at all.

"Well," Finnick said finally, "it's an open offer. I'll be there if you need me. Try to get some sleep."

With that, he shuffled back out of the room, glancing back at her once. She wasn't sure exactly when, but at some point she managed to shuffle back to her room and go back to sleep. All she knew was that it was the earnest expression on his face that she thought about as she drifted off.

The next day, she gave a speech to District One, before they attended another dinner. The response there was enthusiastic, since it was a Career district, but it was still obvious that they wished one of their own had made it out instead. The night before they would tour the district and meet the victors, she woke up screaming, coming out of a nightmare of Kai's final screams of pain before he drowned in the darkness. She sat in bed silently for a time, before she felt herself come to a decision quite suddenly. Before she could talk herself out of it, she grabbed a sweater and tugged it on, getting carefully to her feet and tiptoeing out of her chambers.

Finnick's chambers weren't all that far away from hers, a short walk, but it felt like miles that night. She hesitated, her hand hovering in front of the door, before knocking gently. Nothing. She knocked again. Still no response. She knocked again. At first, there was nothing. Then -

"What - who is it?" Finnick's voice called out, raspy from sleep.

"Athena," she replied.

Another pause. Then she heard two, three quick footsteps before the door slid open, revealing Finnick, tugging on a shirt as he went.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, brow furrowed.

"Is that open offer still good?" she asked sheepishly.

He paused to be surprised only for a moment. Then, he was moving to let her inside, saying, "Yeah, of course. Always."

She walked into the room, a little tentatively, like the room was rigged with explosives (mines underneath the ground, ready to rip apart anyone off their guard, just like they ripped apart Kirk Martin). Finnick walked back over to the bed in the middle of the room and stretched out on it.

"You can sit, if you want," he said, raising his eyebrows slightly at the way she stood in the middle of the room, her arms wrapped tightly around themselves.

She brought her arms down by her sides and sat down on the foot of the bed, crossing her legs. She was sort of starting to regret coming, feeling too aware of everything she was doing wrong and not aware enough of what she could do right. Her head was still pounding from the nightmare. It felt real, this was the dream and the darkness that swallowed Kai whole was all that was real - 

"Bad dream?" he asked.

"Something like that."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shrugged, suddenly feeling rather helpless. "It's just the Games. I'm back in there, reliving all the worst parts. Even the moments that weren't so bad get twisted and ruined. Tonight I saw Kai - the way he died."

Finnick nodded slowly, silent. "We don't have to talk. You can stay as long as you want."

Athena shook her head, staring down at her hands. "How do you do it? How do you even sleep after this?"

Finnick was quiet for a moment, thoughtful, before saying in a low voice, "You remember you had no other choice. Remember their deaths aren't on you the way you think they are. And remember all the things you get to go back to, all the things and all the people you care about. One day, sooner or later, sleep comes to you."

Silence again. Finnick was staring at her carefully, a though trying to figure out what she was thinking. Truthfully, though, all Athena could really think about was how much she didn't want to be alone tonight.

"Finnick," she said slowly, cautiously, as though she could ruin everything with one wrong word, "can I stay here with you for the night?"

For a moment, he looked surprised. She couldn't blame him. The closest they had ever come to this was sleeping in the same room when Finnick passed out in her rooms in the Training Center while he was drunk, and that moment didn't quite have the same intimacy to it as sleeping together in the same bed. Besides, how often had he been forced to share beds with people, forced to do things he did not want to do? Suddenly she felt stupid and selfish for even asking. Even though all they would do is sleep, she couldn't blame him for being surprised, for being uncomfortable with the idea.

She was just about to tell him to forget it and that she could manage on her own when he said, "Yes. Of course. Come here."

He shifted over in the bed to make room for her by his side, patting the side of the mattress. Athena crawled over and slipped under the covers, settling in and putting a safe distance between them, not wanting to bring him any discomfort. Finnick glanced over at her, before reaching out tentatively and beginning to run his fingers up and down the sides of her arms.

"Is this okay?" he murmured, watching her carefully.

Athena nodded, feeling more and more soothed by his touch. She turned over in the bed to face him, and soon he did the same, using his free hand to pull the covers up higher over them. He moved his hand down her arm slowly before taking her hand in his, watching her reaction closely. She didn't react negatively, instead interlocking their fingers together. He looked relieved at the reaction, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb gently.

"Is it okay if I move closer?" she asked.

He nodded, so she shifted over until they were nearly touching and she could feel the heat practically radiating from his body. She hadn't realized how cold she had felt until then. This was a decidedly new thing to her. Besides her family, Athena had never shared a bed with someone else, and this felt very, very different from those instances. Even though it was new to her, there was an odd amount of familiarity to it, though. It did not feel like she was experiencing an entirely new thing for the first time; rather, she was returning to somewhere she had always meant to be.

"How do you feel?" Finnick asked.

Athena thought about it for a moment, before saying, "Less alone. You?"

Finnick was quiet for so long that Athena thought she had said the wrong thing, until he nodded and said, "Me, too."

He let go of her hand to take her face in his hand, brushing her cheek with his thumb. She reached up and placed her hand over his. She was pretty sure she should be scared at the vulnerability that came with all of this. It wasn't like Finnick had never seen her when she was vulnerable; though they'd technically only known each other for less than a year, he had been with her while she was vulnerable more times than she could count, but this still felt different. Maybe it was that she was willingly allowing herself to be vulnerable, surrendering herself to it, or that in letting her lie there with him, he was surrendering himself to it, too. Either way, Athena found that she was not scared. She could not remember the last time she had been less scared.

"Is Alayne's snoring louder or quieter from here?" Finnick asked suddenly.

Athena grinned, laughing quietly. "Quieter. My rooms are closer to hers than yours are."

"Good point," Finnick nodded. "I lucked out. Mags' rooms are right beside hers."

"I know. She's stronger than all of us combined."

Finnick burst into barely stifled laughter. Athena couldn't help but join him, buting her lip to stop from getting too loud. She rested her head on his chest as they shook with silent fits of laughter - but, upon realizing what she had done, quickly moved her head away again.

"Sorry," she said quickly, "I shouldn't have - "

"No," said Finnick suddenly. "No, that's fine. If you want to do that. I'm okay with it."

Athena studied him for a moment carefully. When she deduced that he meant it and wasn't just saying it, Athena rested her head on his chest again. He smelled like mint and the ocean, and it reminded her of home. Her head wasn't right over his heart, but she could still feel it vaguely, the way its rapid pace began to slow gradually. She listened to his breathing become slower and steadier, could feel his posture relaxing gradually, looked up and saw his blinks beginning to last longer and longer. And it was while watching Finnick fall asleep that Athena drifted off, too.

It was Mags who found them in the morning, curled together, still sleeping. This was probably a good thing, Athena thought when Mags woke them up, as she slipped out of the bed, straightening out her pajamas and avoiding eye contact with either of the two people in the room. She could only imagine how Alayne, her stylists, or her prep team would react if it had been any of the to find them. At least, judging from the small smile on her face, Mags would not judge them, and she wouldn't tell anyone, either.

"I'll get going," Athena said, a little awkwardly. They hadn't done anything  _wrong_ , and Mags wasn't making her feel that way, but she still couldn't shake the slight awkwardness at being caught in bed with Finnick Odair, even if they  _were_ only sleeping. "They're probably waiting for me."

Athena nodded at the both of them, though she was looking at her feet, and made to move away. At the last moment, however, Finnick grabbed her hand. Athena turned to look at him slowly.

"Are you okay now?" he asked, with such an earnest, gentle expression on his face that she forgot to feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. "I mean - did that help at all?"

Athena's smile then was surprisingly genuine. She hoped it was also reassuring. "Yeah. Yeah, actually. Thank you for being there for me."

He smiled back, clearly relieved by her words, and nodded once. "Anytime."

She nodded, and then hurried out of the room without a word. Athena returned to her chambers just as Alayne was knocking on the doors, calling out impatiently to, "Get  _up_ , young lady!"

"I'm up," Athena said cheerfully from where she was standing behind Alayne.

Alayne let out a yelp, whipping around and stumbling back against the door of Athena's chambers. Athena grinned; it was a better reaction than she had been expecting.

"And where have  _you_ been?"

"I went to get a glass of water," Athena lied easily; she and Finnick hadn't had a chance to discuss it explicitly yet, but it seemed fairly clear to Athena that Mags was to be the only one who knew that they had slept together.

"Oh," said Alayne slowly. "Oh. Well, hurry along and get ready for breakfast! We're on a - "

" - tight schedule," Athena finished for her firmly, "yeah, I got it."

Alayne looked flustered for a few moments, before finally saying, "Well, just - hurry along!"

With that, Alayne hurried away in the direction of the dining car. Athena watched her as she went, before smiling to herself and entering her chambers to dress herself and brace herself for the day that awaited her.

 

*

 

Finnick and Mags were still in his chambers, staring at each other from opposite sides of the messy, unmade bed. Neither of them spoke. Mags was staring at him with an expression that was an odd, unlikely combination of knowing and amused, yet also deeply sad and worried. She didn't say anything for a long time, though.

"Okay," Finnick said finally, breaking the silence, "whatever you're thinking, just say it now."

Whatever it was, Mags clearly didn't feel comfortable saying it out loud, so she signed, "I thought you were going to be more careful with her."

"I am being careful," he signed back. Mags gave him a  look, so he signed, "You didn't see her. She's been really shaken up over her nightmares, and she asked to stay with me. Was I supposed to just sent her away? It's still my responsibility to help her."

It was ridiculous to still act like anything he did for Athena was out of responsibility, out of obligation, which Mags was quick to point out, signing, "Which is why I'm sure you've slept with all our other tributes."

"I mean, they never asked. And we didn't sleep together like that," Finnick signed. "We were just in the same bed. You saw us with our clothes on."

"It's still not nothing and you know it," Mags signed. Finnick didn't know what there was to say to that, because she was right. Mags let out a sigh, before signing, "I'm just worried about you - both of you. You know what'll happen if you two go too far."

And of course, he did. Finnick was property of the Capitol, to be bought and sold and used by them however they liked. It was all because they found him desirable, making them want to own him, to possess him in any way they could. That could not happen if Finnick fell in love with a girl from District Four, even someone as beautiful and well-loved by the Capitol as Athena. It was simply not a possibility. Finnick didn't know exactly what would happen if he tried to be with someone he truly loved; if they would kill him or the person he loved or Mags or his lover's other loved ones or some sort of combination. Still, he knew it wasn't something he could risk.

"I know," he signed. "But it's not... it's not anything too dangerous. I'm controlling it."

"You said that before and I found her in your bed," Mags signed, raising her eyebrows. "You need to tell her. About why you two can't go too far."

Finnick hesitated, before signing, "She's smart. I'm sure she's probably assumed by now - "

"You still need to talk to her," Mags shook her head as she signed. "You know you do."

And he did. He had known it ever since he told her about what Snow made him do. Still, he had put it off; perhaps because he knew that the moment he did, it would mean admitting to the fact that one, he was rapidly developing feelings for Athena, and two, nothing could ever come of them. Finnick didn't need to say or sign anything; Mags seemed to understand immediately. She suddenly looked quite sad.

"I always knew this day would come," she signed. "The thought used to make me so excited. Now look at where we are..."

Before Finnick could say or sign anything to that, there was a loud knock on the door, making the both of them jump; then Alayne's voice was calling out sharply, "Finnick! Time to get up! And could you find Mags for me? I don't know  _where_ that woman has gone..."

There was a long silence as they waited for Alayne's footsteps to disappear completely. Then, slowly, Mags turned back to Finnick.

"I'll see you at breakfast," she said, out loud this time, before signing, "And talk to her."

With that, Mags walked out of his chambers, closing the door behind her. Finnick knew he couldn't resent Mags at all for anything she said; she was right, after all, and she was only looking out for both himself and Athena. Finnick himself didn't know how exactly he got here. Athena was working her way past boundaries that he had put up meticulously, spent years maintaining; granted, he was letting her do it, found himself wanting her to do it, was helping her to do it. The whole thing was terrifying - and not just because of the threat of Snow's wrath hovering over him. And yet it all felt so right, like it was where Finnick was meant to be.

Still, Mags was right. He needed to talk to Athena. They had reached a point where it would be wrong of him not to do it. He looked over at his unmade bed again, trying not to think of the emptiness that had taken over him the moment she had left his arms. Then, he dressed quickly and made his way towards the dining car, towards the day in front of him.


	26. XXVI

**XXVI**

 

They slept together again that night, Athena and Finnick, after their visit to District One, when they were on the way to District Two. They did the same the next night, then the next night, so that they stopped needing to ask. They alternated on whose chambers they would go to, though they weren't sure why; maybe it made them seem less conspicuous that way. Sure enough, though, nobody gave any sign of knowing about it other than Mags. The nightmares still came and it seemed like the guilt and grief would never go away, but Athena felt less cold and less alone sleeping beside Finnick. They soon abandoned all pretence, and would be curled together within minutes. Sleep became easier and Athena started refusing Alayne's pills - not that they had done much for her, anyway.

The Tour did not get any easier the closer they got to the finish, but Athena gritted her teeth and pushed through it, making herself smile and wave and be charming and enthusiastic and grateful to the Capitol. Soon, they were finishing their visit to District Three and were on their way to the Capitol. Athena was nervous about going back, but not because she felt like she had to convince the Capitol of anything. She used Alayne, her stylists, and her prep team to gauge an idea of how the Capitol was reacting to her; Tatiana, Syrio, Ajax, Leto, and Hestia were utterly convinced of her new act and falling under her spell, and Alayne was shocked but pleased about where this new attitude was coming from, since she even carried it with her on the train sometimes (Athena suddenly understood why Finnick kept up that flirtatious, seductive personality even when there wasn't anyone from the Capitol around; it was easier to convince people of it if it became part of who you are), which was a strong indication to Athena that she already had the Capitol convinced. The thing that kept Athena nervous was the likelihood of her being face-to-face with Snow again. She had done everything she could think to do to convince him and the districts that she was nothing but a smiling victor who loved and felt so grateful to the Capitol for everything they had done for her. Judging from the cold, blank, sometimes angry looks she got from members of the audience who had expected better from her, she was doing a fairly good job of convincing the districts, but she had no idea whether Snow would think it was enough, whether he would be satisfied.

Athena was getting better at interviews. On the stage before the Training Center on the evening of their arrival in the Capitol, Caesar Flickerman (in his twinkling midnight blue suit, his hair, lips, and eyelids still lavender purple against powdery white skin) interviewed her in person this time. She wore a long dress that started as a dark blue that became progressively lighter in colour, with a plunging neckline, and blue and light pink flowers decorating the lacy top of the dress, particularly the neckline and the waist. She also wore a necklace and a crown of matching seashells. The audience was beside themselves over the dress, giving Tatiana and Syrio a round of applause and having Athena twirl around over and over until she was dizzy and clutching onto Caesar and insisting through giggles that she couldn't keep going. Caesar, as always, guided her through the interview seamlessly, and she gave all the answers that she knew would make the Capitol laugh and smile and swoon and gasp and sigh and even tear up.

President Snow himself made an appearance to welcome her back to the Capitol. He shook her hand, before wrapping her in a hug, enfolding her in the smell of blood and roses that made her nauseous, and kissed her cheek with those puffy lips. When he pulled away, digging his nails into her arms, Athena still smiled brightly, as though there was nowhere else she would rather be, but she raised her eyebrows just slightly, a silent question, asking what her lips could not. Had she done enough? Had she convinced him? Were she, Calypso, and her mother safe now?

How foolish of her to think that they might ever be safe.

In reply, President Snow smiled. Not as a confirmation that she had done what she was supposed to, though. It was an amused smile, because he saw quite clearly that he was torturing her and it amused him. He gave her no answer, no indication at all of whether or not she had succeeded. He was leaving her in the dark, torturing her for longer. Anger and fear, a dangerous combination in the best of times, were waging war against each other inside her, fighting to take control. Flight against fight, the desire to run and hide against the desire to punch him right in his puffed-up mouth. She could do neither of those things, though, so she stayed put and smiled brightly as Snow took her hand and raised it above their heads as they faced the wildly cheering audience again.

"I hope you haven't missed the Capitol too much, my dear!" said Snow, smiling in a way she supposed was meant to be jovial.

 _Not in the slightest,_ Athena thought, but grinned and said, "Oh, everyday!"

"Well, let's make sure you get the welcome back you deserve," Snow replied.

The welcome back in question was a party to take place in President Snow's mansion that very night. Athena, Finnick, and Alayne walked up the long hallway to the mansion together, the latter leading the way. Tatiana, Syrio, Ajax, Leto, and Hestia would all meet them at the mansion.

"This is it," said Alayne, beaming, beside herself with excitement. "The biggest party of the year, and it's all for you, Athena - not that people won't be excited to see you, too, Finnick!"

Athena and Finnick exchanged looks, the former biting back laughter as the latter said, "Oh, good. I was heartbroken for a second there."

Alayne was apparently too excited at the mansion coming into view to take note of the sarcasm in Finnick's voice. "Okay, we're almost there, get ready. Eyes bright, chins up, shoulders back, smiles on! That means  _you_ , too, Athena!"

Athena wanted to protest that Alayne wasn't even looking at her and therefore couldn't see what she was doing, but she resisted the urge. Instead she just did as Alayne said, straightening her posture and putting on her practiced, perfected smile. Athena found herself wishing, not for the first time since the three of them had departed, that Mags was there. She had accompanied them on every other party and had been a source of comfort every time, but tonight she had stayed in the Training Center to rest since her legs were hurting her again and she could barely hold herself up, even with her cane. At first Athena had been worried for her health, but then she was worried for another reason entirely.

"But isn't your presence at the party - is - will they be upset with you for not coming?" Athena had said to Mags when she was at her quarters in the old District Four floor, though she was worried about a lot more than President Snow being simply  _upset_ with her.

Mags smiled at her from where she lay in bed. "It's sweet... you worry about me. But I'm sure when you explain... physically can't come, they'll understand... if they even notice I'm gone. Tonight... all about you. Besides, Finnick will probably dazzle them... for the both of us as mentors."

Athena smiled, more settled at her words. They did make sense. At every other event they had attended, Athena was the center of attention from start to finish. If they paid attention to anyone else, it was typically Finnick. People rarely paid Mags any mind. There was no reason why this party would be different. The thought usually upset Athena, but tonight she was relieved about it.

Still, she sorely missed Mags' presence now. She wished Mags well, but she also didn't like thinking about Mags' health because it reminded her that she was old and that she would die soon and Athena would likely live to see it. She hadn't even known Mags for a year yet, but like Finnick, her presence in her life was big and important to Athena, and the thought of losing her overwhelmed her unpleasantly. Still, when she looked up at Finnick's face when they bade Mags goodbye, she knew the pain she felt at the thought of losing Mags could only barely light a candle to the pain Finnick felt. Mags had practically raised Finnick, it was clear she was a mother to him. Losing her would be unbearable to him.

As they were reaching the mansion, Alayne stopped abruptly, holding out her arms to stop Athena and Finnick from walking any further, gesturing around her. "Wait a moment... now... breathe it all in."

President Snow's mansion on a regular occasion was more grand and imposing and magnificent than any other building in the Capitol; for this party, the house, turned blue and purple from the lights flashing upon it, looking more beautiful than usual. There were people everywhere, talking and laughing and drinking together, and music was playing loudly, while entertainers were performing a variety of acts that ranged from juggling extremely sharp objects to fire dancing. There were firework displays overhead, making Athena tense; they sounded far too much like canons...

"I've always liked how cosy this place is," Finnick commented lightly, looking up at the mansion. He was dressed in a blue that complimented what she was wearing; just like before, the District Four part of the District Four team was dressed to look not identical, but like partners, like a team. Usually Athena sort of liked it, but it felt wrong without Mags. "The parties are always so intimate."

Athena let out a barely stifled laugh.

Alayne, apparently noticing the sarcasm now, said, " _Attitude._ That's not the sort of behaviour you want to bring into an occasion like this, is it? Now... come along."

With that, she led the way into the house. A crowd of people were standing between the and the door, but they parted almost automatically when they saw them coming, bursting into applause and cheers and whistles. People, as always, paid attention to Finnick, but Athena was the center of attention, everyone staring directly at her. People were chanting her name and applauding and beaming at her, a few of them even reaching out to touch her in a way that felt almost possessive. Athena smiled through her unease and discomfort, waving and blowing a few kisses in acknowledgement in the crowd, driving them wild, until they were finally inside the mansion.

None of the other places they had visited could shine a candle on the banquet room where the party was actually being held. The forty-foot ceiling had been transformed into the night sky, and the stars looking exactly the way they did back home - which, Athena supposed, shouldn't be surprising. The stars logically should look the same everywhere, but who knew? There was always too much light from the city in the Capitol to be able to see the stars. About halfway between the floor and the ceiling, musicians floated on what looked like fluffy white clouds, but Athena couldn't see what was keeping them afloat like that. Traditional dining tables had been replaced by countless stuffed sofas and chairs, some surrounding fireplaces, others beside flagrant flower gardens or ponds filled with exotic fish, so that people could eat and drink and socialize in the utmost comfort. There was a large tiled area in the center of the room that served as a dance floor, a stage for performers to come and go, and a spot to mingle with the exuberantly dressed guests.

Though the party was supposed to be about Athena, she felt fairly confident that the real star of the evening was the food. There were tables lining the walls that were laden with delicacies. Everything one could possibly think of, and even things one would never dream of, were waiting to be tasted. Whole roasted cows and pigs and goats turning on spits. Huge platters of fowl stuffed with savoury fruits and nuts. Ocean creatures drizzled in sauces or begging to be dipped in spicy concoctions. Countless cheeses, breads, vegetables, sweets, waterfalls of wine, and streams of spirits that flickered with flames. It hadn't been that long since they had eaten, but Athena was suddenly ravenous all over again.

Alayne caught sight of Tatiana, Syrio, Ajax, Leto, and Hestia. Athena thought they would stick together, as they had more or less done throughout the entire tour. Instead, however, Alayne rushed over to meet them, and they disappeared into the crowd, meeting with friends that Athena did not recognize. Athena stared after them blankly, before looking over at Finnick.

"I thought - "

"I probably should've warned you ahead of time," he said, "but everything tends to go out the window when it comes time for the Capitol party. It's the party of the year here and they don't always get to go, since the victor isn't always from Four. Even Alayne forgets any kind of responsibility she might have for a while."

"Ah," said Athena in understanding, not sure how she felt about it; the company of Alayne, her stylists, and her prep team wasn't her favourite kind of company, but at least they were familiar in this world of strangeness, something to help ground her.

"I'm still here, though," said Finnick. "This is the sort of thing that's hard to enjoy unless you abandon all your moral judgement, so having someone with you is always helpful. I'll try to keep you from missing them too much."

"That's a hard task you have on your hands there," said Athena, smiling. "Are you sure you're up for it?"

"I'd say the odds are in my favour," he said with a grin, and Athena laughed.

Finnick, to his credit, really did stay by her side for as long as he could. A group of people in feathery outfits approached them before too long, though, gushing over Athena and making conversation with them. It wasn't long before they were insisting that Finnick absolutely  _must_ come talk to a friend of theirs who had been dying to meet him personally for ages now.

"As tempting as that offer sounds," Finnick said with his usual combination of a low, seductive purr of a voice and an almost sinful smile, "I do have a duty of care here."

He gestured over to Athena, who waved sheepishly.

"Oh, you're not  _really_ her mentor, not anymore," said the one in blue feathers. "She's a big girl, she'll be fine, won't you?" Before Athena could answer, the blue-feathered woman leaned in closer to her and said, "As a matter of fact, our little friend's been staring at you nonstop all night. I think he wants a little alone time with you, too, but he's just too shy to ask. Tell you what: later in the night, we'll whisk you away for a dance with him, then you two will be even! How does that sound?"

"Uh - " said Athena.

"Perfect!" said the blue-feathered woman, apparently deciding to take Athena's stuttering at a yes.

Before Athena or Finnick could do anything else, the group was grabbing onto Finnick and pulling him away. Before they were lost in the crowd, Finnick shot Athena an apologetic look. Athena just smiled and nodded at him to let him know that she didn't blame him. As little as she liked being left alone at this party, she felt much sorrier for Finnick than she did for herself.

Though she was technically the center of the party, Athena shrunk back, almost instinctively, to stand with her back to the wall, all the better to observe the festivities unfolding in front of her. She watched the people talking aimlessly and dancing together, lounging in comfortable chairs and taking leisurely bites from all the food, while music played from above everyone's heads. Something about watching the party happen in front of her made her feel even more isolated than she had been all throughout the victory tour. She found herself missing Mags' steady, comforting presence more than ever. At the very least, whenever she felt isolated or needed a break from the parties and ceremonies, Mags would be there to talk to her about practically anything and everything; Athena found herself talking to Mags much more enjoyable than anything she had been made to do for this Tour. Still, she knew Mags would want her to make the best of the situation, so Athena devised a survival strategy. There was so much food that if she dedicated her time to trying a little of everything, the party would likely be over by the time she was finished. Considering how delicious all the food was, Athena figured that there were worse things she could do with her time here.

It was a mission, however, that wasn't as easy to accomplish as she would've liked. People kept approaching her, though she wasn't seeking anyone out. It seemed she was the one thing nobody wanted to miss at the party. People were all rushing forward, making conversation, shaking her hand, pulling her into hugs, kissing her cheek, taking pictures, touching her wherever they could. She realized before long that there was great interest in her mother's necklace. People surged forward to touch it, twirling the blue spinel pendant with fingers dyed unnatural colours. A few of them eagerly showed her replicas they had made of the necklace, though there was always some difference between their copies and the actual necklace. Athena acted delighted and charmed by their presence, though she didn't care at all about any of these people. All Athena could see them as in that moment were distractions from the food. Alcohol was passed to her on several occasions, but she only ever took a few sips; this was not the sort of place she wanted to be drunk.

Athena was surrounded by a large group, hanging onto every word that she said, though she wasn't saying all that much, when they suddenly parted, before beginning to disperse slowly. Athena wondered worriedly if she had messed up, until she saw that someone's arrival had made them move away. Seneca Crane was approaching her slowly, dressed up more than she was accustomed to seeing, since she had only ever seen him in his deep purple Gamemaker robes. His black hair was slicked back as always, piercing blue eyes focused solely on hers. His beard, styled in its intricate fashion against his pale skin, was still his most recognizable feature, though.

"Athena Maris," he said, giving her a bow. It seemed to be a normal gesture in the Capitol, but it felt sort of odd to Athena, so she just smiled and waved in a way she hoped was warm and friendly enough. "A pleasure to finally get to meet you in person."

"The pleasure's all mine," Athena returned with a smile.

"Our first encounter with each other was a little... bumpy, I think," said Seneca, stepping much closer towards her than she liked. He was referring, of course, to her evaluation with the Gamemakers so long ago. He and the other Gamemakers had paid her no mind, and so Athena had spelled out 'Capitol' along the chests of three training dummies, before throwing spears into their stomach, chest, and head, respectively. It all seemed so distant now, but Athena could remember the fear she had felt afterwards, since she thought she or her family would be punished, not that she would be given one of the highest scores among her fellow tributes. "I was hoping we might be able to make amends tonight."

 _You're the Head Gamemaker_ , she thought, thinking it was much more than their first encounter that was a problem.  _You brought about those spikes that killed Cara. You brought about the black wave that killed Kai. You brought about every bad thing that happened to me in there, you and the rest of your team came up with the most entertaining ways to kill and torture us all in there..._

All Athena did, though, was say with a small smile, "Yes, I think that's exactly what we need."

"I'm glad to hear it," Seneca said. He held out a hand to her. "Would you join me for a dance?"

Athena hesitated for a split second. She did not want to dance with him. She did not want for him to touch her, to waltz with her and spin her all around the room. Athena knew she couldn't say no, though, so she said, "It'd be my pleasure."

He took her hand in his, and Athena allowed him to lead her away towards the dance floor, trying not to think about how uncomfortable she was and how unnatural his hand felt in hers. When they reached a relatively empty spot on the dance floor, Seneca put a hand on her waist, and Athena put a hand on his shoulder. Styles of dance in District Four were different from those in the Capitol, but the differences weren't vast, and they were taught the way that danced in the Capitol in the academy, anyway, so Athena didn't struggle too much to keep up with Seneca. She let him lead, though, allowing him to guide her around the room in a way that reminded her uncomfortable of a horse being put in its paces.

"How have you been adjusting to life as a victor?"

"It's a big change," Athena confessed. "Almost everything about my life's different now."

"But it's all for the better, I imagine?" said Seneca, while they swayed around the room. "Changing to a life of luxury can't be quite so bad."

"Things could be much worse," Athena said, because she knew she could not disagree with anything he said, "The Capitol's done a lot for me."

Seneca smiled, before saying, "But I suppose the change hasn't all been good. What happened to your father was truly tragic."

"Thank you for your condolences," she said automatically.

"He was sick, wasn't he?" he asked, and she nodded. "What terrible timing. I'm sure it could've been arranged to find a cure for your father here. If only he'd been able to hold out a little longer..."

 _If only my name had never been Reaped, if only I'd never walked into that stupid house without checking if it was safe first, if only I hadn't been so reckless with all our lives,_ Athena thought, but only forced a smile and repeated softly, "If only."

"Well," said Seneca, "let's try to move past that, shall we? It's a party! You should be having fun."

"I guess you'd know all about that," said Athena. "Having fun, I mean."

"I'm Head Gamemaker, Athena," he said. "Fun is my job. It'd be a cause for concern if I didn't know all about it."

"And are you having fun now?" Athena asked.

"I must admit that I am," replied Seneca. "Perhaps more fun than I should be having, especially now that I'm with you. But this is all for you;  _I_ should be asking  _you_ that question."

"This is all new to me," she replied. "I'm really just trying to adjust right now."

"Ah, I remember my first big party," Seneca smiled reminiscently. "Don't worry, now that you're a victor, you'll have plenty of time to get used to these things. You'll be enjoying yourself in now time. You won't have to be nervous anymore."

"I'll take your word for it," she smiled. "Do they get any bigger than this, or is this really the party of the year?"

"This is the biggest it gets," he confirmed. "You started off big."

"Lucky me."

"You could look a little more excited," Seneca said with a smirk. "I can tell you're a little nervous, but people might take it the wrong way if you look like you don't want to be here."

"I hope I'm not offending you," Athena said, hoping she still looked relaxed and not as anxious as she suddenly was. "I'd never want you to think I don't want you here - "

"Not at all," said Seneca. "And I hope I'm not crossing any boundaries. Consider this as... advice from a new friend," he was saying, leaning in closer to her as they danced around the room. "You won't like what happens if people perceive your actions the wrong way. The Games were fun, certainly, but they were just games. A smile is going to take you much farther than a spear here."

"I  _am_ way too used to throwing spears at all my problems," Athena admitted, hoping she didn't look as intimidated as she felt.

Seneca laughed, but said, "Not that this is a problem, though?"

"Not at all," Athena said lightly, smiling, and Seneca returned the gesture with a nod.

"That's what I like to hear. I do feel a little bad about hogging you, though," he admitted. "This is your night. Everyone's here for you; I should let other people have a turn."

"Well, you're the Head Gamemaker," Athena replied, hoping she was doing a sufficient job at hiding her disgust as being talked about like an object to be passed around the room. "I might be the victor, but you make all the magic happen. People should be letting you do what you want."

"Ah, I wish I could always use my job as an excuse to do as I please," Seneca replied wistfully. "You can imagine it wouldn't work out quite the way I'd want it to."

"What would you do with that power?" asked Athena.

"Oh, I can think of a few things," he replied. "Can't you?"

"My imagination doesn't stretch very far. I can't begin to imagine all the fun you could have."

"Well, as I said, Athena," he said, "fun is my job."

"I bet that gets dangerous," Athena said lightly.

"Dangerous isn't exactly the first word that comes to my mind," Seneca said, "what makes you say so?"

"Well, since we're new friends giving advice," said Athena slowly, "I wouldn't underestimate the value of moderation. Too much fun can be... deadly. You wouldn't want to get carried away."

Seneca raised an eyebrow, but he looked as though she amused him. "Is that a threat?"

"Oh, not at all," Athena said immediately, smiling. "Like I said, it's advice from a new friend. I hope I'm not overstepping..."

"Not in the slightest," said Seneca, but Athena could feel his grip on her tightening significantly, as though meaning to keep her from escaping. "If anything, I'm glad we've reached such a level of friendship so quickly."

"As am I," Athena replied lightly, but she still studies his face closely.

"And I'm glad I've found such a lovely friend in you," he said. "I mean - look at you," he continued, raking his eyes up and down her body. The dress she wore was more form fitting and revealed more of her chest than anything her stylists had put her in before. As Athena predicted, over the course of the Tour, her stylists had slowly but surely transformed her imagine into a much more provocative one whenever the weather allowed it (and even sometimes when it didn't). "You've always been so beautiful. Though there used to be something so much more innocent about you..."

"Well, like I said," she said shortly, "things change."

"They certainly did," Seneca agreed with a smirk, his eyes trailing up and down her body again.

Athena tensed slightly, trying to keep her discomfort and slight panic from showing on her face. She was reminded unpleasantly of Snow's words, that she would have to keep the Capitol satisfied one way or another... she made herself relax and smile again, though, as Seneca made her twirl around once, twice, three times, just as the song changed to a much slower one. When he stopped, he pulled her back much closer to him than she had been before, and his grip on her was even tighter.

"And since we're such good friends," Seneca said, leaning forward and smiling in a way that was beginning to look more and more like a leer, "let me say that it might be in your best interest to keep your pretty mouth shut and, as you said, let me do what I want. You might be the victor, but believe me when I say that there are tricks that go far beyond the arena. Like I said, the Games are fun, but they're  _games._ That's all. This is reality. Bad things happen to victors who think themselves invincible, and when a victor falls, so many people fall with them... their district itself, friends, family... darling Calypso and Marella simply won't get any peace... does that sound like something you want, dear?"

Unable to speak, Athena shook her head. Seneca's twisted smile widened, leaning even closer to her.

"That's what I like to hear."

 

*

 

Finnick, despite how he made himself seem, was not one for parties. The ones in the districts were at least a little better, even though he didn't much like going to those either and there was always a forced air at nearly all of them. Capitol parties were always borderline unbearable, though. Especially moments like these, surrounded by rich Capitol socialites with lingering gazes and touches. He had thought this party would be a little better, since Athena was around this time, but it hadn't been very long until they were separated. Finnick supposed he couldn't be surprised about that, though; it had really only been a matter of time. The party was all about Athena, Athena's popularity seemed to be constantly increasing, and Finnick was still hugely popular; they would've been pulled apart sooner or later. He still found himself missing her company sorely, though.

He realized with a jolt that it had been some time since he had last seen Athena. Mags was still on the train, meaning she wasn't there to help him look out for her. The blue-feathered woman, named Veridie, had technically been right; Finnick wasn't really Athena's mentor anymore, he was not actually obligated to look out for her. Still, he wanted to, and even if he didn't, it felt all sorts of wrong to leave her to the wolves like this without checking up on her. He brought the glass of wine he was holding to his lips, taking a small sip as his eyes scanned the hall as casually as he could.

At first, he couldn't find her anywhere; then, a couple wearing the same shade of bright yellow moved out of the way, bringing her into view. Finnick's stomach turned unpleasantly. He had left her to the wolves, and the wolves had been quick to find her. Athena was dancing with Seneca Crane (not quite the smartest or even the deadliest of the pack, but a wolf was a wolf), but something seemed to be very wrong. Seneca was leaning close to her, his lips curled in a smirk that looked more like a leer than anything. Athena was remaining composed, making herself smiling pleasantly, but Finnick could sense panic, buried under the surface, building up inside her. They were too far away for Finnick to hear what Seneca was saying, but it was clear that Athena needed to get out of there and fast.

Finnick tore his eyes away from them to look at the heavily feathered group surrounding him. He had indeed met their friend, even danced with him for a time, but he and the rest of his friends were getting far too drunk to dance much. They weren't even really paying much attention to him now.

"Excuse me, unfortunately I have to..." Finnick was searching his mind desperately for a good enough excuse, but then he realized everyone in the feathery group were all too drunk to care, so he let himself trail off, putting his nearly full glass of wine on the table.

Almost immediately, Veridie took it and said, "Well, if you won't drink it, I will!"

Finnick stood there for a moment, watching as Veridie drained the glass in seconds. He looked away again as she started leaning on a green-feathered man for support. He detached himself slowly, carefully from their touch. When he was free, he set his sights on Athena and Seneca again, and strode directly towards them, a plan already fully formed in his mind.

 

*

 

Athena hated that she was this shaken by Seneca and his words. She wasn't sure whether he could actually act upon anything he was saying to her. She didn't think that being Head Gamemaker could come with that much power outside of the arena, but she could never be certain, could never be safe when it came to the Capitol, not ever. After all, a lot of power came simply with being of a high status, even if in reality you didn't actually wield that much power; that was something Athena was learning as a victor. And as Head Gamemaker, he had powerful friends, including President Snow himself... there was even a chance that Seneca was aware of the threat Snow had made in District Eight. Perhaps he was mocking her for it, taking pleasure in torturing her just as much as Snow did... and even if he knew nothing at all, even if these were only just words, she was still powerless to him. He was, if nothing else, a citizen of the Capitol, and it was Athena's duty to serve and please the Capitol, as a citizen of the districts, but especially as a victor. Whatever he wanted her to do, she had no choice but to smile and let it all happen...

Athena's mind was racing, trying to find something to say, something that made her appear calm, cool, and collected. She was spared the trouble when Finnick seemed to materialise out of thin air by her side.

"Athena!" he said excitedly. "There you are! I've been looking for you for ages! Did you see that drinking game they've got going on? There's a guy who claims he can predict how fast or slow the next song's going to be. If he's wrong, he has to drink. If he's right, everyone else has to drink. He hasn't been wrong once. You have to check it out!" Finnick looked over at Seneca like he had only just noticed he was there. "Oh, sorry, am I interrupting something? If you don't mind, obviously - "

"Go ahead," Seneca said immediately. "Far be it for me to stop you from enjoying yourself on your big night, Athena. It was lovely talking to you."

It looked like Seneca was about to grab her hand and kiss it. Athena was already preparing to fight down her revulsion, but Finnick seemed to have other ideas. He grabbed her hand before Seneca could, and was already pulling her away, saying as he went, "Great! Until next time, Seneca! Enjoy the rest of the night!"

And then Finnick was whisking her away, and it was lot long until they had disappeared into the crowds, Seneca already out of sight. Athena let him lead her to wherever he was taking her, tightening her hold on his hand, as though scared of losing him. He didn't take her to the location of any drinking game, instead bringing her to one of the corners of the banquet hall. Athena stood in the corner, while Finnick stood in front of her, as though shielding her from view.

"Athena, are you okay?" he said, looking concerned. "Hey, you're shaking. Hey, it's okay, you're okay."

Athena looked down at her hands and realized with a jolt that they were shaking visibly. A server carrying a tray of glasses of champagne drew near them. Finnick snatched two glasses as they passed by, placing one in Athena's hands.

"Hold that to try and steady it," he said. Athena held the glass tightly in her hands until her hands seemed steady. "What happened?"

Quietly enough so that only Finnick could hear, Athena recounted what had happened while she was dancing with Seneca. When she was finished, she said, shaking her head, "It's never just going to be me, is it? They're always going to be in danger, too, aren't they?"

Finnick didn't try to deny it, but instead said, "If it helps, Seneca has an impressive position and knows how to seem intimidating, but he's all bark, no bite - no brains, either, if we're being fully honest."

Athena cracked a smile. "You can be Head Gamemaker with no brains?"

"He's been doing a pretty bang up job of it, all things considered," he replied, drinking from the champagne, and she smiled wider. "He kept saying you should be having fun, right?"

She nodded.

"Then let's try and make it look like you are," he said firmly. "C'mon, I caught sight of the others. Better the madness you know than the madness you don't."

"I'll second that once," she said. "And hey - thank you, Finnick. I really needed to get out of there."

Finnick smiled and shrugged. "Any time."

With that, he took her hand and guided her away once more. Alayne, Tatiana, Syrio, Ajax, Leto, and Hestia were all standing together in front of one of the tables of food. They were all drunk from the amount of alcohol they've already consumed, though Alayne seemed to be maintaining a certain amount of composure. They all let out delighted noises when they saw Athena and Finnick approaching, as though they hadn't seen each other in years.

"There you are!" said Syrio.

"Where did you two disappear to?" asked Alayne.

Athena and Finnick exchanged looks, before the former said firmly, "Being the life of the party is hard work."

Athena put her champagne down after a few sips, careful not to drink too much. The best part about reuniting with Alayne, her stylists, and her prep team was that they were by the food tables, which meant Athena could refocus on her mission of eating a little of everything. The table had at least twenty different soups. The first one she tried was a creamy pumpkin brew with slivered nuts and tiny black seeds, which Athena thought she could eat forever, until she tried a clear green broth that tasted like what would happen if a person could taste springtime. Next was a frothy pink soup dotted with raspberries. There were a variety of elaborately decorated cakes (the sort Ian would take great interest in, Athena knew, though the thought of him still made her feel guilty). Athena took a piece; it was delicious, but she gave the rest to Finnick, because she wanted to keep tasting things and the idea of throwing food away, the way she kept seeing people here do so carelessly, was awful to her. Still, there was so much food that even though the limited amount she ate with each sample, soon, she was more full than she had been in a long, long time. As such, when Alayne told her she must try some of the crab, Athena shook her head and politely refused.

"Oh, come on, you've barely eaten," Alayne insisted.

"I couldn't," Athena shook her head, holding up a hand. "I don't think I've ever been this full."

Alayne, Tatiana, Syrio, Ajax, Leto, and Hestia all laughed like that was the silliest thing they'd ever heard in their lives. Athena frowned. She was about to ask what she had done wrong when Syrio spoke.

"Well, that's where this comes in," he said with a smile, holding out a tiny stemmed wineglass of some clear liquid Athena couldn't name.

Athena stared at the thing, before asking hesitantly, "What is it?"

"It makes you feel sick," Tatiana explained. When Athena only frowned, she elaborated impatiently, "That way, you'll throw everything up so you can eat more!"

Horrified, Athena stared at them blankly. Not understanding why Athena looked the way she did, Leto said, "It's the only way to have fun at a party. How else could you try everything?"

Athena stared at them blankly. Revulsion and fury coursed through her as though part of her blood. The worst part what that she didn't even know why she was surprised. It was the exact sort of thoughtless, wasteful, selfish thing that they would do in the Capitol. And it was not considered strange or wrong in the slightest. No, here it was ordinary, expected, fun, all just part of the festivities...

Sensing the tension, Finnick quickly set down his glass of champagne and said, "Oh, I love this song - Athena," he grabbed her hand lightly, sweeping into an overly dramatic bow and kissing her hand, "let's go dance."

Finnick didn't really give her any time to respond, pulling her gently away from her stylists and Alayne and onto the dance floor without another word, but Athena made no protest to the action. Keeping his hand interlocked with hers, he placed his other hand on her waist. Without thinking, Athena put her other hand on his shoulder, allowing him to guide her gracefully around the dance floor. She made her face calm, but she was still fighting off both disgust and anger at what she'd been told.

"My parents and I nearly killed ourselves to put food on the table - in my case, I mean that literally, and my father really did die," Athena said, forcing herself to keep her tone light. "There are districts where more than half the population is starving. And here they're forcing themselves to throw up all the food they eat just to stuff their faces with more."

"I did tell you the only way to even try to enjoy yourself was to abandon all moral judgement," Finnick said, though not unkindly. "I know it's harder than it sounds, though."

"More like impossible," she grumbles.

"It seems that way at first," he agreed, as they swayed around the room together. "You get better at it, though, despite what you might feel. You have to. Especially if you want to become a mentor..."

Athena looked up at him, shocked. "How did you know I - ?"

"Had a feeling," Finnick shrugged. "Clearly I was right."

"It - it's not that I  _want_ to," she said, lowering her voice so she was barely heard over the music. "I wasn't sure for a long time - I know the weight that comes with being a mentor isn't a small one, and I didn't like the idea of having to leave my mother and Calypso every year. I mean, last time I did, look what happened to my dad... but Mags has been doing it for decades. She's had to experience all the horrors of the Games for far too long. She deserves peace - or as close as she can get to it. That's all."

Finnick nodded once in understanding; then said jokingly, winking at her, "And here I just through you wanted to spend more time with me."

It was fairly obvious that Finnick couldn't stop being a mentor; the Capitol loved him so much, they would never want to let him go. There was some leeway with Mags, though, who had been mentoring for years already. Most would not mind the change quite as much, especially if Athena stepped in in her place.

In spite of herself, Athena let out a laugh, "Always knew your ego would be your downfall."

Finnick grinned, but it wasn't long until that serious expression was back on his face. "Mags takes care of so many people. She looks after so many people and makes sure they're okay, I think people forget to do the same to her. Until I met you, I felt like I was the only one who at least tried. Mags basically raised me, she means a lot to me. What I'm trying to say with all of this is... thank you for looking after her, too."

Athena smiled at him. "You don't have to thank me. Kinda seems like the obvious thing to do."

"It wouldn't be to everyone," was all Finnick said. "Have you talked to Mags about it yet?"

"No," she admitted. "I've mostly been thinking about it. What do you think she'll say?"

Finnick thought about it for a moment. "I don't think she'll agree at first. She's been doing this for over fifty years, and nobody's ever offered to do it for her. She won't know what to make of it. She's always liked being able to look out for me, both back home and in the Capitol. But she's more tired than she lets on. I think she will agree sooner or later. It'll make her feel better that you'll be there to look after me. And I'll be there to look after you."

Before Athena could say anything to that, they heard Alayne's voice calling their names. They spotted her hurrying towards them, her arms linked with a large man with platinum blonde hair and watery blue eyes. Athena thought he looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place where she had been him before. Before she could figure it out, Alayne and the man were right in front of them.

"Athena, Finnick, I am very happy to present to you... Plutarch Heavensbee!" said Alayne, smiling widely as she gestured over to the man.

Athena recognized the name at once. Before they had left the train, as they were bidding Mags goodbye, Mags said to have a chat with Plutarch if they were presented with the opportunity, saying they wouldn't regret it. Both Athena and Finnick were confused about where her fondness for a man from the Capitol came; Mags only smiled mysteriously and said, "Plutarch might not be my absolute favourite person, but you'll find that sometimes, he has the right ideas," leaving more questions than answers.

"You remember Mags holds him in the highest regards," Alayne was saying, "and insisted that you two have a chance to meet with him. I caught up with him only moments ago, and he was saying that he simply must talk to you."

Plutarch gave a small smile. "I'm only glad Mags views me so positively. And that this opportunity has come at last."

Alayne smiled wider, before saying, "Finnick, you'll already know this, of course, but Plutarch here is one of the most powerful Gamemakers - Seneca Crane's right hand man!"

"Some might say so," Plutarch said with a tight smile, making it clear he didn't like being referred to as such, "I usually just call myself a Gamemaker, though."

"Of course, of course," Alayne gave a forced laugh, evidently realizing that she had said the wrong thing.

In an attempt to diffuse the tension, Athena stuck out a hand towards Plutarch and said, "Athena Maris. Nice to meet you."

She realized immediately after she'd done it that it was stupid to do, since the entire country knew who she was. Plutarch only smiled as he shook her hand, saying, "And you, Athena."

Finnick shook Plutarch's hand next, saying, "Glad to see you're in good health, Plutarch."

"And you, Finnick," Plutarch returned easily. "Now, where is Mags? I must say, I miss her presence sorely. She always knows how to light up a party, that woman."

"Too right she does," Finnick said with a laugh. "Unfortunately, Mags' health isn't in a state that allows for much partying. Her legs are in a lot of pain, she's weaker than usual."

"Nothing serious, I hope?" said Plutarch with a frown. "Surely something could be arranged to help her in the Capitol - ?"

"Nothing like that," Finnick said firmly. "One of the side effects of age, I imagine."

Finnick was a very good actor, but Athena could tell he was only pretending to be unconcerned about the matter. Nobody else seemed to, though. Perhaps she knew him well enough now to be able to spot something like that. Still, though, Athena had always thought Finnick's soft spot for Mags was a fairly obvious thing.

"Ah, ageing," Plutarch said in understanding, smiling. "It seems there's no reversing that process, no matter how hard you try."

"Oh, I hear that," Alayne said with a laugh, clearly relieved now that they were back on her turf.

"I suppose you two wouldn't understand that yet, young as you are," said Plutarch, nodding at Athena and Finnick. "May you two live long enough to understand all our woes." He extended a hand towards Athena, a clear invitation to dance. "May I?"

Finnick shot her a furtive look, clearly asking if she was okay with doing this. Athena didn't really see how there was anything else for it; even if it wasn't Plutarch, it would be someone else, and more would follow them, and there was no escaping. She gave Finnick a subtle nod. He nodded once, before stepping away from her, clasping his hands behind his back.

Athena turned to Plutarch, smiled, and took his hand, saying, "I'd be delighted."

Plutarch gave Finnick and Alayne one last nod, before leading Athena away, further out onto the dance floor. As they began to dance, Athena took to staring at the spot in between his eyes, wondering if it was coincidence that Plutarch asked to dance with her after Seneca. Maybe the Gamemakers all thought that they hadn't tortured her enough. Maybe she'd be passed around between all the Gamemakers, who would whisper vague threats to her under the cover of the music until they had broken her once and for all.

"I was wondering if you'd recognize me," Plutarch said, clearly in an attempt to make conversation. When Athena looked confused but apologetic, he smiled and said, "I understand why I might not have been your priority. It was during your evaluations, when you pulled that little stunt of yours. I had made the mistake of taking off my robes, and you have taken me by surprise, and - "

" _Oh!_ " Athena said in understanding, and she knew at once where she had seen him before. When she had pulled her stunt during her private audience with the Gamemakers, one of the Gamemakers had spilled wine all over himself, getting it on his white shirt after removing his purple robes. She started laughing in spite of herself, saying, "You're the one who - ?"

"I was," Plutarch said firmly, "and I haven't been the same since."

"Has your shit been the same since?" Athena asked, grinning but trying to look apologetic, since it had been red wine. "Did the stain come out?"

"Oh, like a charm," Plutarch said. "There's no need to worry about that. That part wasn't much of a problem."

"There was a problem?" Athena asked, pretending to be surprised. "You guys still gave me a ten..."

"Because you gave us passion that was lacking from the others," Plutarch replied easily. "Nobody wants to watch robots fight each other, because then everyone knows it's down to the best programmed one. Throw in a little attitude, a little fire, then things change for the better. We wanted passion and you gave it to us in spades."

"You're welcome, then," Athena said, a little flatly, hoping he couldn't tell how disgusted she was by the way he was talking about the Games.

"This is your first Capitol party, right?" asked Plutarch after a pause, and Athena nodded. "How are you finding it?"

"It's a little overwhelming," she said honestly.

"Try appalling," said Plutarch. "Still, abandon all moral judgement and you can find yourself having fun."

"Finnick said something like that," Athena noted.

"Did he?" Plutarch said, sounding interested. "Odd; I never thought I'd find myself in agreement with him."

"You're not a fan?" Athena said, genuinely surprised; she didn't think she would ever meet anyone in the Capitol who didn't adore Finnick.

"I must admit I find him to be a little haughty and conceited for my tastes," Plutarch confessed. "He was fine before he won, but sometimes I find victors like to develop a bit of an ego - luckily, I don't sense that happening to you."

"Have you ever talked to him personally besides just now?" Athena asked, suddenly feeling oddly defensive of him; she had thought the same thing about Finnick once and still teased him constantly, but it still felt to her that no one was allowed to insult him in such a way. "Maybe you'll change your mind once you see him from up close."

"Maybe," Plutarch repeated softly. "I suppose you'd know, you've probably had many opportunities to see him from up close."

"Something like that," Athena said, trying very hard not to think about how she had woken up in Finnick's arms that morning.

"And Mags adores him, too," Plutarch continued thoughtfully. "I suppose if two women of convictions and principles like yours approve of him then perhaps he is someone deserving of a fair chance."

"I'm flatted," Athena forced herself to smile.

"Please; I'm only saying what I know to be true," he replied. "And what everyone else knows to be true, too."

"Oh, I don't know about everyone," said Athena, shaking her head. "Most of these people haven't even talked to me before."

"That's unfortunate for them," he replied easily. "I feel all the more lucky to be with you right now. You are the shining star of the party."

"Mmm, I'm not so sure about that one."

"What makes you say so?" asked Plutarch, curious. "Who here could possibly be outshining someone like you?"

"The food," Athena said firmly. "I don't light a candle to this food."

Plutarch laughed. "It is very delicious. Everyone and everything goes above and beyond at these parties - the food is far from an exception."

From there, they launched into a discussion about specific dishes, which ones were favourites of theirs, which ones were they itching to try, which ones must the other sample. It was the sort of discussion that came quite naturally to Athena.

"I imagine it's hard to focus much on the food when you have people begging for your attention," Plutarch continued. "Like our Head Gamemaker, for instance." Athena looked at him in surprise, and Plutarch smiled. "I saw you two dancing earlier. Forgive me if I'm being presumptuous, but it didn't seem to be going very well."

"Seneca Crane is," Athena said slowly, as the two of them waltzed around the room, "very good at his job," she said finally, and Plutarch snorted, but said nothing, letting her speak. "But meeting the man in person... sometimes he can be a bit... much."

"You mean he's absolutely abhorrent," said Plutarch firmly.

Athena raised her eyebrows, saying, "I thought you were his right hand man."

"Those were the words of your escort, not my own," he replied smoothly. "Besides, it was never claimed that there's any fondness there. Our working relationship is exactly that: a  _working_ relationship. And it's one that's quite difficult to define, I'm afraid, though he is, in the end, Head Gamemaker."

"I'm getting the impression that you don't approve very much of his methods," Athena commented lightly.

"And you're saying you do?"

"I did say he was good at his job," she replied. "Judging from the highlight reel of the last Games, he put on a really good show."

"And he was quick to take credit," said Plutarch.

"It seems to me you have a lot of interest in his job," Athena noted, trying to fight off her disgust at the way Plutarch spoke, as though orchestrating the deaths of children was something to be proud of, to claim with pride.

"Oh, I'm not sure I'd go that far," he said, before twirling her around once. When he pulled her back to him, he added, "I'm sure you can imagine that Head Gamemaker isn't the most stable job there is. There's a lot of uncertainty, a lot of danger in it."

"And yet here you are," she retorted, "talking like it's the one thing you want."

"I don't think it's the  _job_ that I really want, though I can't pretend that my ambition doesn't tempt me," said Plutarch. "I see the job more as a means to an end."

"And what end would that be?"

Plutarch didn't answer right away. He stared at her for several long moments, as though studying her, before smiling and saying, "To make the Games mean something."

"The Games don't mean anything," Athena said automatically. "They're games. They're not real. Seneca even said so."

"Perhaps the fact that Seneca believes that and has convinced you of the same thing is a sign that he's not quite as good at his job as you say he is," Plutarch said. "It's possible you're giving him too much credit."

"And it's possible you're not giving him enough credit," Athena replied easily. "Though I guess it might be good for a Gamemaker to have high standards."

"Always so charming," Plutarch noted with a smile. "I suppose you have to be like this for everyone, since it's the only reason I can think of for you to still be defending him. Still, I'm glad I'm proving myself right about you."

"In what way?"

"There are reasons I asked you to dance besides you being the star of the party," said Plutarch. "Can you guess what they are?"

"Probably not my dancing skills."

Plutarch smiled faintly. "You're the best dancing partner I've had all night."

"I feel sorry for you, then," she said, and Plutarch laughed.

"When I watched you all throughout your Games, right from your Reaping until this point," Plutarch was saying, "it felt like a glimpse of that end I wanted to reach. Like the Games were beginning to have meaning."

"I know a few people who would disagree with you," Athena replied, thinking of President Snow.

"Ah, well, everyone's a critic," Plutarch said with a shrug, and Athena breathe a laugh at that. "But you are good at pleasing the people, and I suppose that's what really matters in the end."

"I guess so," said Athena.

"But I'm getting carried away with you now," he said. "There's one other purpose that brings me here. A friend of mine has been wanting to talk to you all night. He's been waiting for the perfect opportunity but has been struggling to find it."

"And this friend couldn't come talk to me himself?" Athena raised her eyebrows.

"My friend likes to deal in mysteries every now and then," Plutarch replied vaguely, giving Athena the distinct impression that this friend of his wasn't the only one who dealt in mysteries. "He has a flair for the dramatics, but he's someone you want to oblige."

Athena frowned a little at that final comment. She was about to ask him what he meant by that when he cocked his head subtly to the left. Athena looked round and saw that he was indicating the white marble bust of Snow that stood on top of one of the fireplaces. Her heart dropped. President Snow wanted to see her privately.

Panic filled her up, clawing at her throat, her mind already going a mile a minute, but she forced herself to smile when she looked back at Plutarch, saying, "Well, then, I guess we shouldn't keep him waiting."

"I was thinking precisely the same thing," said Plutarch as they stopped dancing.

Plutarch offered her an arm, and knowing she had no other choice, she accepted it, linking her arm through his and allowing herself to be led away from the party by him. Plutarch led her out of the banquet hall, through hallways and up staircases. Despite Athena's mounting worry and fear, she took careful note of the path they were taking; on the odd chance she would try to make a run for it, she needed to know where she was going. The mansion seemed endless, though. Neither of them spoke as they walked. It seemed deadly silent after the noise of the party, their footsteps echoing loudly as they walked. In the arena, they would be long dead by now... someone would've found them and killed them...

Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest she was surprised it wasn't echoing in the hallway along with her footsteps. Her mind was racing with all the possibilities of what this meeting was about, each possibility worse than the last. Would he have her killed? Right here at this party, where she was supposed to be at the center? Or would her death be awaiting her when she arrived at home? Would he make it quick and clean, or drag it out to make her suffer further? Or would he be hurting or killing someone else, someone that she cared about? Would it be Calypso or her mother, people who remained utterly defenseless in this? Or would it be someone else - maybe Hudson? Snow wouldn't touch Finnick or Mags, surely - at least, not anymore than he already had. Surely he wouldn't harm or kill two such well-loved victors. But maybe he would, to prove to her that victors were not invincible, that he was willing to hurt anyone to keep her in line. Or maybe since they were her mentors, he blamed them for what she was doing, perhaps thinking it was under their guidance, and would punish them for it... or maybe Snow would think she wasn't worth any of this trouble and just kill her...

Athena studied Plutarch as carefully as she could out of the corner of her eye, looking to see if she could figure out what was going on in his mind, but his face betrayed nothing. Did he knew what awaited her? Did he know whether or not he was walking her to her death? He must, if he and Snow were really friends as he said (though it was hard to picture Snow with any friends at all). Had he danced with her, been nicer to her than Seneca in an attempt to get her to lower her defenses, make her less prepared for this moment? Did he care at all about any of this? Did he care that her blood might be on his hands? Surely not, considering his position as Gamemaker; his job was to orchestrate the deaths of children, what did it matter if this one occurred outside a traditional arena?

Before Athena could find the answer to any of these questions, they stopped in front of a set of double doors. This felt all too much like District Eight. Plutarch turned to her.

"I'm afraid this is where I leave you," he said, and Athena couldn't tell if she was relieved or not; then again, if Snow was going to kill her, she supposed Plutarch's presence wouldn't make much of a difference. "The door's unlocked, you can go right in to see my friend. Give Mags my best."

Was he saying that because he knew she would live or as an attempt to set her mind at ease so that she'd lower her defenses?

"I will."

Plutarch took her hand in his, bent down, and kissed it. She found it much more sickening than when Finnick did it. "It was a pleasure meeting you."

"The pleasure was mine," Athena made herself smile again for him.

Plutarch smiled, before turning around and walking away, back in the direction of the party. Athena watched him go until he turned a corner and disappeared. She looked back at the double doors. She was overwhelmed with a desire to run away; but she knew, of course, that there was no running away from this, that she had to face it. As such, she took a deep breath and opened the doors, stepping inside slowly.

It seemed that the room was an art gallery of sorts. There was artwork everywhere in the white room, all more beautiful than anything she'd ever done. Athena didn't pay much attention to them, looking around the room until she found him with his back turned to her, staring at a painting that was hung on the wall opposite her. It was the only painting on that wall. Athena walked over to him, not making her presence known through words yet, as though that might give her an upper hand - though she knew there was no upper hand here. The only reason she was walking towards Snow was because that was what he wanted. Snow made no visible reaction to her approaching, though he must have heard the clacking of her heels echoing loudly in the room, or perhaps the sound of her heart thundering in her chest.

Athena stood beside Snow. Neither of them made any greeting to each other. Neither of them spoke at all until Snow said, "You know, this painting... people who know more about art than I ever will tend to say it's a rather primitive thing. Not made quite as well or as beautiful as some of the others in this room."

Athena studied the painting more closely. It was of a man and a woman on a boat in the ocean. The sky was all a dark grey, completely cloudy, without a glimpse of sunlight to be seen. The ocean was the dark blue that came with terrible storms, with what appeared to be deadly waves that could swallow the boat whole rising. The boat was small and made of a rough wood and seemed to be falling apart while they were on it, barely able to hold their weight. The painter hadn't drawn the details of the faces of the man and woman, but they both seemed to be terrified, clutching onto each other. They were looking up at the dark sky above them, rather than at the ocean and the waves that seemed to be about to drown them once and for all. Athena thought that despite the dark nature of the painting, there was something rather beautiful about the piece, but she also understood what these art experts were saying. In terms of everything Noah taught her about what made an objectively good painting, this piece didn't light a candle to any of the other works in the room.

"It's always been my favourite, though," President Snow continued. "It's why I have it on its own wall, so that it can be admired all on its own. It was made by a young painter from District Four," he looked over at her with one of his twisted smiles, "during the Dark Days. I thought you might be able to appreciate it a little more, considering your shared district and talent."

"I think I have a long way to go before I do anything good enough to get its own wall," said Athena.

President Snow's smile widened. "Perhaps. Still, perhaps this painting will inspire you. I think it represents something truly beautiful."

"Which is what, exactly?"

"I was hoping you might be able to tell me."

Athena looked from President Snow, to the painting, and back again. "Honestly, sir, all I can think about is what could have possibly made them think it was a good idea to get on such an unsturdy boat. If they're supposed to be from District Four, too, then they should know better."

Snow let out a laugh, though she wasn't trying to be funny. "They should indeed. A painting like this requires that one keep in mind the time period. The Dark Days, a time of chaos and rebellion all around. The districts chose to believe in a cause built on nothing but lies, a cause that spat in the face of the Capitol and all they had done to help the districts. An unsturdy boat, as you called it. This man and woman fell into that trap, and that cause, this boat, can't hold them up, and they see that. They're looking up at the sky, calling for their supposed leaders to save them, but they were never going to be saved. They've realized it too late, and the consequences of their actions are going to wreak havoc upon them," he finished, gesturing at the deadly waves.

 _God,_ Athena thought,  _he actually talks like this. It's not just his speeches._

Athena wasn't fully convinced of Snow's interpretation of things. If this was really done by a painter from District Four during the Dark Days, then it seemed much more likely that the boat was meant to be all the lies upon which the Capitol built Panem, crumbling as the rebellion raged on, unable to truly last through the storm. Athena didn't dare express that thought out loud, though.

"It feels like a good reminder," Snow continued, "of what happens to those who stray too far from the harbour. Don't you agree?"

"Yes, sir," said Athena automatically, nodding. "It's a beautiful painting."

Snow looked at her, as though pleased with her. "I'm glad you think so. Perhaps you can make your goal to top this painting, make it my new favourite."

"That's no small task."

"Oh, I believe if anyone can do it, it's you," Snow said. "People like you and I always know how to do what needs to be done."

"I suppose we do," Athena replied, looking at him carefully; as anxious as she was, she wanted desperately for him to just get to the point. If he was going to kill her or hurt her, she would rather he just got it over with; then again, that was probably the point. He seemed to know that the more he prolonged it, the more he tortured her, and was taking full advantage of this.

"You've had a wonderful Victory Tour, Miss Maris," said Snow finally. "Absolutely inspired. You had a shaky start, but I believe you managed to make a beautiful recovery. And nobody who was in your presence tonight managed to come away as anything but positively charmed. You even managed to enchant Mr. Heavensbee, and that's no easy task."

"And how would you know that?"

"Oh, I've been watching," Snow replied, and Athena was momentarily terrified, until she remembered that this while event was on camera and he had probably watched it on television. He just liked being mysterious about it.

"Ah," said Athena, her eyes still trained on the painting so that she didn't have to look at him. "Well, I'm glad I've touched you."

"You certainly have" said Snow. "Thought sometimes I wonder... if there's more to be done?"

"More?" she asked uncertainly. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Well, I'm sure you've noticed that nobody here in the Capitol can get enough of you," he said. "To the extent that, wonderfully as you did during the Victory Tour, it doesn't seem like enough anymore. They want more from you, Miss Maris. Surely you don't want to refuse them?"

"Of course not," she said immediately. "But what exactly do you mean by more?"

"Well," Snow began, "you could start by doing more photoshoots, appearing on the covers of magazines. More interviews. Coming to more parties. That sort of thing. These could all be arranged throughout the year, and we could transport you to and from the Capitol easily."

"Okay," Athena said. She didn't like it at all, but she knew she had to oblige him. "Sounds wonderful. Is there anything else?"

"There might be," Snow said. "Depending on the reaction we get from the Capitol... if it's still not enough... since our last meeting, there have been a great deal more of people who wish to big top dollar simply for a night with you."

For the first time, Athena tore her eyes away from the painting to look at Snow, staring at him with barely restrained alarm. "I thought - you promised - "

"I promised nothing," Snow said serenely, looking satisfied that he had gotten under her skin so easily. "I said that if you could not be convincing during your Tour, I would have no choice but to make this arrangement with you. I never said it wouldn't happen regardless."

And there it was all over again, fear versus fury, flight versus fight. He meant to say that he had terrified her the way he had all throughout the Tour, and it might have been for nothing. She might meet the same fate regardless of everything she had done.

"However," Snow continued calmly, "if you manage to be convincing enough for the rest of this party, and in all these appearances you will make in the future, perhaps it won't be necessary at all. Don't you see? The decision is all yours. You have all the power you need."

"Right," Athena said, pleased at how steady her voice was. She forced herself to look back at the painting.

"So are we in agreement?" Snow asked.

"Oh, yes," Athena said immediately. "Of course."

Snow smiled. "Excellent."

There was a moment of silence. Athena couldn't stop thinking about how she would have to leave her family again and again and again. Though she couldn't be surprised; victors weren't truly allowed to live in peace the way the Capitol claimed. They always took more. But at least she knew what Snow's intentions with this meeting were. It wasn't to kill her or torture her - at least, not in the traditional sense. And he wasn't going to kill or hurt anyone she cared about, either. He just wanted her to do what he wanted of her, wanted her to keep pleasing the Capitol in any way she could.

"It is a shame Mags isn't here," Snow said, breaking the silence. "She's always a wonderful presence at a party. Give her my best wishes for a quick recovery."

"I will," Athena said.

"Finnick Odair is here, though, correct?"

"He is," Athena nodded.

"And how is he?"

"He's okay," said Athena, and she supposed he really was, too, all things considered; only, she knew that his version of okay wasn't necessarily up to par with everyone else's. "He's having tons of fun."

"Good, good," said Snow with a nod. Another silence, before he said, "What exactly is the nature of your relationship with him again?"

"I told you, we're friends," Athena frowned.

"Only friends?"

"Only friends," Athena repeated firmly, forcing herself once again to not think of the way they had been curled together under the covers of her bed the night before. Athena had never had many friends, but she was pretty sure that wasn't the sort of thing friends did together. "What else would we be?"

She had said the right thing. By treating the idea that she and Finnick could be anything but friends as ridiculous, she left any suspicions Snow might have to be seen as grasping at straws, making connections that were not there. If he suggested anything else, it would seem ridiculous, irrational.

"It's a good thing," Snow said thoughtfully, "having friends. I'm sure it's been very helpful to you in this period of transition. Though we want to be careful that we don't go too far with our friendships... boys like Finnick, golden boys, have the heart of a nation held in his hands. Imagine if he threw it all away because he met someone else that suited his fancy. Imagine the anguish and the heartbreak that would follow. I would be forced to take action, and I think you and I both know that for certain people, the results would not be pretty."

Athena got the message loud and clear, and though she felt a profound disappointment that she found difficult to explain to herself, she knew she could not be surprised. She had had an inkling of this for a long, long time, ever since Finnick had told her about what he was put through by the Capitol. The Capitol loved him, desired him, wanted to possess him in any way they could. If he ever got a girlfriend - or God forbid, ever got married - they couldn't do that anymore. The Capitol would have lost something they loved and wanted desperately, and that simply could not happen. She knew this. She didn't much like thinking about it, though. She never brought it up to Finnick because her feelings on the matter seemed so insignificant in light of everything Finnick had been through. Forget Athena, Finnick couldn't be with any person he fell in love with so long as the Capitol found him desirable, and there was no way of knowing how long that would last; years, undoubtedly.

"I see," Athena said, trying to sound impassive. She turned to look at him again. "Well, fortunately for everyone, I don't go too far. Like you said, people like you and I always know how to do what needs to be done."

"Indeed we do," Snow said, smiling in satisfaction. Another pause, where Athena tried not to think about how much being in his presence made her skin crawl, before Snow was saying, "I suggest you run along and join the party again now. This is all for you, after all. You should be part of the festivities. The people want to see you dance, Miss Maris."

"Maybe you should join in, Mr. President," she said, forcing her tone to be light and casual. "I'm sure seeing you dance would be a much better sight."

Snow let out a laugh, though there was still something sinister about it. "I'm an old man, Athena; nobody wants to see me dance. You're a much nicer sight to behold; best not to waste it."

Athena recognized the sign of dismissal. She extended her hand, saying, "President Snow. It was an honour to meet with you again. I suppose I'll be seeing you again soon?"

President Snow looked from her face to her outstretched hand; then he gave a little smile that was hard for Athena to read as he shook her hand and said, "Yes. I suppose you will."

Afterwards, Athena gave Snow a small nod, gave the painting one last glance, before turning around and walking out of the room, as quickly as she could without making it obvious that she wanted to be away from him desperately. Once she was out of the room and the double doors closed behind her, she took a moment to remember the path she and Plutarch had taken, before making her way back to the party. When she reached the banquet hall again, she paused for a moment, looking around at the festivities, feeling more detached from them than ever. Then, her eyes fell on the marble bust of Snow, and she straightened up. If she didn't act positively radiant and bursting with excitement, if she didn't emanate charm and enchant everyone she talked to here, Snow would know. And she knew what would happen if Snow wasn't pleased with her. There was only one thing to do, so Athena put on another bright smile and threw herself back into the party.

Finnick was quick to find her after that, pulling her into a dance and whispering, "What's going on? I saw you leaving the room with Plutarch. Are you okay?"

Athena stared at him for a moment, practically melting at the obvious concern, but she couldn't help but think about what Snow had said about him. There was no way he didn't know about it too.

She smiled and said, "I'm fine. He wanted me to meet his friend - nice guy. Anyway, don't worry about that. This is a party! Remember? It's meant to be fun!"

She gave Finnick a significant look. Luckily, he understood right away. "Right. Then let's get to the fun part."

The rest of the party seemed to pass by as if in a dream. It didn't feel like she was the one acting, like someone else was taking control and she was letting them. She talked with socialites and important people who came to talk to her, smiled and winked and laughed at unfunny jokes, danced with anyone who asked until they were too tired or too drunk or both to keep up with her, made herself eat more of the food and drink more of the alcohol (though she refused to drink that clear liquid, and she still didn't drink enough of anything to get drunk). She even danced with Seneca Crane again, and they both did a brilliant job of acting like their previous conversation had been nothing but pleasant small talk. She didn't come back to herself until just before midnight, when Alayne appeared at her shoulder, interrupting a conversation she was having over glasses of champagne with her prep team and their many friends.

"Time to say thank you and farewell!" she trilled, and Athena remembered that they had to be back on the train by one o'clock. It was one of those moments where Athena had to love Alayne's strict punctuality. Alayne took her by the arm and led her away, and Athena let her. Her prep team bid their friends dramatic goodbyes, before following behind them. They found Finnick, Tatiana, and Syrio quickly. Alayne then escorted Athena around the room and had her say thank you and goodbye to anyone of importance, before leading the way to the door.

"Wait - shouldn't I say thank you and goodbye to President Snow too?" Athena said, stopping dead. "It's his house."

 _And if he wants me to please him, kissing his ass might be a good start,_ she thought, but decided against saying it out loud.

Alayne had other ideas, though, saying airily, "Oh, President Snow is such a busy man, we shouldn't bother him like that. Don't worry, I've already arranged for the necessary notes and gifts to be sent to him tomorrow."

Athena nodded, relieved. She hadn't actually wanted to see Snow again, and she was glad that she had a reason not to now. They travelled through the streets of the Capitol in cars with darkened windows; Athena, Finnick, Alayne, Tatiana, and Syrio in one car, while her prep team were in the other. The crowds celebrating in the streets are so thick that the car was forced to move much slower than usual. Athena didn't mind the long car ride, though; she just stared out the darkened window at the city. It was so beautiful at night; the darkness made everything less artificial, and for a moment, Athena could almost, almost forget the ugliness that the city hid. Alayne, it seemed, had this whole Tour down to a science, however, so it was exactly one o'clock by the time they reached the train and it was pulling out of the station. Athena had to admire Alayne for her precision, if nothing else.

The first thing Athena and Finnick did was hurry over to check on Mags, who was awake, though she was quick to assure them that she had gotten rest. After making sure she was up for it, Athena and Finnick helped Mags over to the dining car, where everyone was congregated, sitting her down at her place at the head of the table. Tatiana had ordered tea for everyone, and they all drank as Alayne listed everything that was still on her schedule and reminded them sternly that they were still on a Tour. When it was time for bed, everyone was getting to their feet, but Mags, Athena noticed, stayed where she was.

"Hey, Mags, are you okay?" Finnick said, kneeling so that their faces were level. "Do you need help - ?"

"I'm fine, Finnick," Mags insisted, patting Finnick's hand gently. "I think... might stay here a little longer..."

"Okay," he said. "I can stick around, too - "

"Don't worry, Finnick... get some rest... look exhausted," Mags said, and it was true; Finnick tried to make himself look more alert, but he still looked visibly drained. "Athena can stay with me."

Athena's eyebrows quirked slightly at being singled out in such a way; clearly, Mags wanted to talk to her privately about something. Athena didn't mind, though; she never protested to an opportunity to talk to Mags, and she had missed her presence a lot at the party. "Yeah, for sure."

Finnick looked a little concerned, though he did seem to be soothed by the fact that Athena would be there. He nodded, saying, "Okay, I'll just... I'll head to bed."

Finnick glanced over at Athena, raising his eyebrows just slightly, a silent question. Athena, understanding immediately that he was asking if she wanted them to sleep together again, gave a subtle nod. Athena thought Finnick looked a little relieved at this answer, though she might have been imagining things.

Alayne, however, looked concerned, saying, "Remember, both of you, we are on a - "

" - tight schedule," Athena and Mags said in unison.

Athena grinned and said, "We won't get too crazy, will we, Mags?"

"I'll resist the temptation," Mags responded, and Athena, Finnick, her stylists, and her prep team all laughed.

Even Alayne cracked a smile, saying, "Very well, then."

With that, everyone cleared out of the dining car, leaving only the two of them. There was silence as Athena poured more tea for the two of them, before Mags spoke.

"And how was the party?" Mags asked. "Really?"

"It was alright," she said with a shrug. "I talked to some important people - danced with a few of them, too. We met Plutarch, by the way. I danced with him."

"How did you find him?" asked Mags.

Athena thought about it carefully, before finally saying, "He wasn't the worst part of the night."

"What was?"

"I - uh - I got some special visitors," she said carefully, and before Mags could ask to elaborate, Athena signed the word, "Snow."

Mags straightened up, immediately interested, and signed in return (she remembered to move her hands slowly, since Athena was still learning), "What did he want?"

"More," Athena said, out loud this time, since she forgot how to sign those words. "More to please the - uh - the right people. I'm just going to be at his beck and call from now on - not that I wasn't already, though, really."

Mags nodded grimly. A short silence passed between them as they both drank from their tea, before Athena decided that she ought to talk to Mags about being a mentor sooner rather than later, and said, "Mags... what d'you think about me becoming a mentor in your place?"

For a long time, Mags just stared at her, stunned, before saying slowly, "What's brought this about?"

Athena shrugged. "You... I've watched you in all these months, and you do so much for the people around you. I want... to do this for you." She reached over and placed a hand on top of Mags'. "I want you to get any kind of peace you can get, as far away from... all of this as you can get."

Mags was silent for a moment, her face a variety of expression Athena couldn't quite read, before she said, "I don't know, Athena... don't you deserve peace, too? Besides... been doing this so long... feels like... mentoring is all I know."

"Well, that's my point," Athena insisted. "You should know something else. You deserve to have something more than all of that."

"You're... sweet, Athena," said Mags, smiling weakly. "But I've been mentoring... so long now. I've endured... can keep enduring. You've been through so much... are... sure you're prepared... something like this?"

"Not entirely," Athena admitted, figuring it was best to be honest. Athena thought about it frequently; how likely it was that one of the tributes she mentored would be someone she went to school with, someone who she had been friendly with; the responsibility that came with being the lifeline of two people who would depend on her completely. "But I won't be alone. Finnick and I can look out for each other."

"I know you would," Mags nodded.

"And besides," Athena added, "the Capitol wants to see more of me. If I became a mentor, they would definitely be seeing more of me. You know, two birds, one stone."

Mags still didn't look fully convinced. "I'll think about it."

Athena nodded, wanting to give her all the time and space she needed. "Of course."

There was another silence, long enough for Athena to finish her second cup of tea. She considered pouring herself another cup just to give herself something to do, but before she could, Mags spoke, distracting her.

"How was Finnick?"

"Alright," she replied. "He's worried about you, though."

"Figured he would be," Mags mused. "He worried about me a lot. How does... feel about you... mentor?"

"He seems to be on the same page as me," Athena said.

"Is he?" said Mags, looking interested, though she didn't elaborate as to why. Instead, she said, "I expect you'll... seeing him in... moment."

Athena didn't bother to deny it; Mags knew everything already. "It's really nothing. It's just because of my nightmares. He's doing me a favour."

"I don't think that's all... to you or him," Mags said, raising her eyebrows and drinking from her tea. Before Athena could ask what she meant, Mags added, "He chose you, you know."

It was a sudden, rather unexpected comment, but Athena understood immediately. She meant he had chosen Athena between her and Kai (as had Mags, she knew). It was not something Athena could try to deny. She had known this ever since Athena had asked him about it but never got a straight answer from him, since he had told her about all he had done to try and keep her alive. She knew already. It was hard to ever forget.

"I know," Athena said finally. Another silence. Athena looked over at Mags, at the serene expression on her face, and asked, "But why?"

Mags looked at her in surprise for a moment, before her face melted into a smile. "You'll have to figure that... out for yourself, Athena." And before Athena could say anything to that, Mags finished her tea and said, "Come on. Off to bed."

Athena wanted to keep asking questions, but knew when to admit defeat - if only temporarily. She nodded and got to her feet, moving over to Mags' seat to help her up. Athena helped Mags reach her rooms, get ready for bed, and then onto her bed. She only left for her own rooms when she was sure Mags was settled comfortably. From there, Athena hurried over to her own rooms. She took off her gown in favour of more comfortable pajamas and got ready for bed normally, but instead of settling into her own bed, she waited until the sound of Tatiana and Syrio chatting idly faded into nothingness and they seemed to disappear into their own chambers. Then she tiptoed over to Finnick's chambers and knocked.

"Athena?" came Finnick's groggy voice.

"Yes."

"Just come in," he said, so Athena did, opening the door and closing it behind her. Finnick was already lying in bed, watching as she walked over. "You really don't have to knock at this point."

"Figured I'd be careful," Athena shrugged, as he made room for her and she settled in beside him under the warm covers.

"What did Mags want to talk about?" Finnick asked, wrapping an arm around her as she leaned into the warmth of his body.

"She asked about the party," she replied. "I told her what happened. I brought up me being a mentor instead of her."

"What'd she say?"

"You were right, she's not on board right now," said Athena. "She said she'd think about it."

"She'll say yes," Finnick said confidently. "It's more a matter of when."

"I guess we'll find out," Athena hummed.

They both fell asleep quicker than usual, curled together as per usual. It wasn't long, though, that Athena was being brought back to consciousness by the sound of a boy crying out in fear and shaking beside her. Athena's heart sped up, and this was Burton Angora being stabbed by Athena, it was Rowan Lindell getting shot by those arrows, it was Lumen Flux bleeding out ad utterly weakened, it was Kai Emerson falling into the depths of that black wave - except, of course, it was none of those people. It was Finnick Odair, still alive but looking terrified, sitting up straight in bed and panting like he had just been running for miles, looking around in alarm.

"Finnick?" she said, sitting up as well. "Hey, Finnick - it's alright. You're safe. Wherever you were in your dreams, you're here now. You're safe."

He looked over at her and seemed to calm down more. He collapsed back onto the mattress, and after a moment, she followed suit.

"Nightmare?" said Athena. A pause, then he nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He was silent for a long time, before saying hoarsely, "I have this one that keeps coming back. I'm back in my Games - and I'm this scared fourteen year-old kid again - but the arena's the Capitol, and all the traps from the Gamemakers are just all the people that live there. And the whole time, for the whole dream, all I do is run - it's all I can do, I don't have my trident or my net or anything - I run as fast as I can, but it's never enough, they always get to me, and they - " he stopped himself suddenly, as though scared of losing hold of himself, trying to reel himself back in - "well, all the gritty details don't matter so much. You get the idea. It's a nightmare that I keep having, and time doesn't make it any easier."

Athena nodded slowly. "Do you want to be alone?"

"No," he said immediately, then looked sort of embarrassed of himself. "No. You leaving won't help much. I'd rather you stay."

"Okay," Athena said. "I'm fine with staying."

There was a short silence, before Finnick asked, "Did you have any nightmares?"

"Not tonight," she said, and the realization surprised her. "Maybe I transferred my nightmares to you."

"I'm almost positive that's not how nightmares work," he said, but he was smiling slightly. "In any way, shape, or form."

"Weirder things have happened," Athena said airily, and Finnick's smile widened a little. Athena watched him for a moment, before saying slowly, "You know, sometimes when I look at you or Mags or any of the other victors, I wonder how you can bear all of this. But you don't, do you? You just force yourself to continue because life doesn't give you another choice, but you don't bear it, do you?"

"Not really," Finnick confessed. "You force yourself through it all. Sometimes it's a little easier. Most of the time it's not."

"Well, I'm here," she said, "if you ever need me. If that means anything."

"It does," he said. "I usually have nightmares much more often than this. Being with you made them a little better - or, at least, the nightmare would wake me up, but seeing you calmed me down."

"Really?" Athena asked, and Finnick nodded. "It's the same for me."

It made Athena think about what would happen when they made it home and they were both sleeping alone again. Athena still had her mother and Calypso; she knew they would be there for her and comfort her however they could, even if they didn't fully understand it. But who did Finnick have, living all alone in that big house?

Before Athena could think about it too much, Finnick was saying, "Where did you disappear to during the party? I can't lie, Athena, I'm still worried - if Plutarch did something to you - "

"He didn't do anything to me," Athena reassured him. "Well, not really, anyway. I told you, he took me to talk to his friend."

Finnick was frowning, though. "Who's the friend?"

It was hard to ever shake the feeling of being watched, and for some reason, even saying the name out loud felt dangerous. She brought her hand to Finnick's chest and traced the letters of Snow's name, slowly, carefully, so that there was no mistaking it.

Finnick was silent for a while after, before whispering, "What did he want?"

"More," Athena replied. "More appearances, more interviews, more speeches, just... more. And if it ever stops being enough... he's already got bidders on hand to sell me to. I'm pretty much just at his beck and call."

"Right," Finnick said tightly. "Well, at least it's clear what you have to do."

Athena nodded slowly. "And he... he also mentioned you."

She felt him tense beside her. "What about me?"

"He asked what our relationship was," she said, "I told him that we're friends. He said that it's important friendships don't go too far. He said... you have the hearts of a nation in your hands and... if you throw it away for someone else... the consequences wouldn't be great."

Finnick's expression then was a mixture of anger, fear, but most of all, a deep, deep sadness. He nodded slowly, saying, "Right. Well, I guess it was only a matter of time before that came up. Part of the whole selling my body thing is that they have to believe that I actually love them. I can't fall in love with someone else, because then they'll realize it's not real, and they have to think it's real. So I'm sort of stuck."

Athena didn't say anything at first, trying to make sense of how she felt. She was horribly upset at the injustice Finnick was being forced to endure; sold to Capitol citizens, forced to do as they say and pretend to be in love with them, and he couldn't even fall in love and have something real of his own. But she also felt a deep disappointment that she found hard to explain to herself, like she had been robbed of something she wanted very, very badly - but that was ridiculous. She was pretty sure it was, anyway.

But that didn't matter right then. Finnick needed to keep up an act for the Capitol, an act that made them believe that he was truly in love with any of them, and there she was in his bed. Even though they were just sleeping, even though being beside Finnick made her sleep much easier than she had in a long time, even though all of this felt far from wrong, Athena didn't think it would be right of her to stay. It would only make things worse.

Athena was just thinking that she should probably go when he blurted out, "You can stay, though. I want you to stay - I mean, I don't really want to be alone after that nightmare - I mean, only if you want to, though, of course, if you don't want to, then - "

"Well, I do," said Athena, so openly that she surprised herself a little. "But if it's going to cause trouble - "

"It doesn't have to," said Finnick. "Cause trouble, I mean." When Athena looked up at him in confusion, he elaborated. "We both have trouble sleeping. This helps. It's... being proactive."

"Being proactive," Athena repeated. "Is that how they're going to see it?"

Finnick considered this. "I mean, there are obviously boundaries, lines that I can't cross, but... the main concern is if it affects Snow's little arrangement with me, if they start realizing I don't actually love them... as long as that doesn't happen..."

"But we shouldn't risk - Athena began uncertainly.

"Athena," said Finnick, in an oddly strained voice, as though he was very scared of what he was saying. "I really... really don't want you to leave. Please just... stay with me."

Athena looked into his face, surprised. It took a certain amount of vulnerability to sleep in the same bed as someone, but this was something else entirely. She knew she could not leave him like this, and she found she didn't want to at all. Telling herself firmly that this really was nothing, that she was only supporting a friend, that there was nothing dangerous to this at all, her hands went up slowly to take his face in her hands, tracing the bones underneath his face with her fingertips gently. Finnick didn't say anything, just wrapping his hands around her wrists gently and staring at her as though mesmerized. How could she have thought, when they first met on this very train months ago, that she really had the first idea about who he was? Athena couldn't remember the last time she had been so wrong about someone... he put on a good act, she supposed, and he still did; he still teased her and used that seductive voice on her and stood too close to her to mess with her. Still, he was so different from what she had expected him to be...

"I'm here," she said quietly. "I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay here with you as long as you want me to, okay?"

"Okay," he said slowly.

"Okay," she repeated. "Do you want me to stay close to you?"

Finnick hesitated, before nodding slowly. Athena lied back down, placing her head on his chest and wrapping an arm around him loosely.

"Is this okay?"

"Yes," replied Finnick. He wrapped an arm around her back, while his other hand went to take hers, interlocking their fingers. "Is this okay?"

Athena nodded, squeezing his hand briefly as confirmation. As oddly familiar as it felt, this was still new territory for both of them; the constant affirmations between the two of them felt necessary and even natural. Athena traced shapes on the back of Finnick's hand slowly, until his breathing had become steadier and she could feel his heartbeat slowing and she could see that he was more at ease.

"You think you can go back to sleep?" she asked quietly, still tracing shapes on the back of his hand.

"I think I can try," he replied.

"That's all any of us can ever really do."

Athena waited until Finnick's eyes were closed and his breathing turned deep, slow, and even, signifying that he was asleep. Athena looked at him for a moment; then, she did not kiss his forehead - or anywhere else - the way she wanted to, instead curling up closer to him and closing her eyes, letting herself drift off to sleep.


	27. XXVII

**XXVII**

 

They arrived back in District Four right on schedule. The events in District Four consisted of a speech made at the Justice Building, a dinner at Mayor Trenton's house with important members of the district, and a victory rally the next day for the entire district to enjoy. The victory rally fell on the same day as a Parcel Day, adding to the excitement in the atmosphere and making Athena feel a little better about the whole thing. The events as a while were unbearable as usual to her, especially since celebrating her victory in  Four only reminded her that Kai was dead. Still, she pushed herself through it and the events all went off without a hitch. A few hours after the victory rally, Athena, Finnick, and Mags bid Alayne, Tatiana, Syrio, Ajax, Leto, and Hestia goodbye. The Capitol citizens were all teary-eyed as they hugged Athena goodbye in the train station - even Alayne, which surprised Athena.

"Oh, we're going to miss you so much!" said Tatiana.

"Yes, do visit when you can!" added Hestia, smiling.

"I'll - uh - do what I can," Athena said, shooting furtive looks at Finnick and Mags; even if she didn't end up becoming a mentor she knew she'd be going back to the Capitol whether she liked it or not. She didn't say anything of it, though, not quite wanting to bring up her conversation with President Snow.

Athena, Finnick, and Mags waved them goodbye as they boarded the train while cameras photographed every second of it. The three victors stayed behind until the train started moving and disappeared from sight, before walking back out of the train station.

"So," said Mags, "that's... Victory Tour... finished. You made it."

"I did," Athena agreed, letting out a deep breath. "Small victories, I guess."

Weeks passed by. Athena, Calypso, and their mother all tried to adjust, tried to find a new normal. Not everything was different. Athena still walked her sister to and from school everyday. They all cooked meals together twice a week, something that kept them connected (they tried not to think about how their father wasn't there to drum out the beats of songs with kitchen utensils and jokingly start food fights while he helped). Athena still taught Calypso how to use a spear when their mother didn't know (she thought Calypso was too young, apparently ignoring the fact that Athena had started learning at younger than ten). Calypso still sang songs. Her mother still slept on one side of the bed, as though her husband might come in one night and settle right in beside her the way he had every night.

The changes were suffocating, though. All of them were different now, and Athena was the most changed of all. It was odd walking Calypso to school when Athena didn't have to walk into that building with her anymore. They didn't talk or laugh as much as they used to when cooking together. As natural as using a spear felt to her, sometimes Athena couldn't stand using one for too long, especially when she was teaching Calypso (it reminded her of everything she had done in that barren desert, reminded her of the fact that Calypso was still not safe from the Games). Calypso didn't sing  _The Turn of the Tide_ anymore. Her mother cried most nights from her bed, whimpering out her husband's name when she thought Athena and Calypso were asleep and couldn't hear her (most of the time, Calypso was asleep, but Athena almost never was; on the nights Calypso was awake, she tiptoed into Athena's room and lied next to her in her bed. The next morning, their mother would sleep in, the two sisters would make her breakfast and kiss her forehead when she woke up, and none of them would say anything about the previous night). There was never a moment where Douglas Maris' absence went unfelt. The ghosts of the dead tributes from Athena's Games followed her wherever she went. Rowan Lindell was there in sunrises, Cara Savera in every sharp, knowing smile, Marjorie and Charity Hopper when she looked at herself in the mirror, Kai Emerson hidden in all different parts of the district, his home.

She had stopped making her solo early morning visits to her father's grave. Her mother finally confronted her about it one day, and Athena found she couldn't deny it. She didn't know how she had expected her mother to react; maybe she had thought she'd be angry.

All Marella Maris did, however, was wrap her in a tight hug and whisper, "I wish the pain could make sense. I wish there was a guide through this. I wish you didn't feel so alone."

After that, Athena made no more secret visits to the graveyard. Athena thought she wasn't going too badly, overall. She was getting better at finding reasons to get out of bed in the morning, even when it was small things like the Nereus twins mentioning they'd like to have her around for tea (Penelope and Talisa were actually very nice, kind-hearted people once you managed to get them to start actually talking to you instead of staring from a distance) or the fact that she promised her mother she'd help her sort through their bookshelves. Before, Finnick and Mags would have to knock on her door to encourage her to get out of the house for a while; now, she found herself doing it a lot to the former, knocking on Finnick's door frequently and encouraging him to do something with her to keep him busy. They went to the beach a lot, especially as winter left them and warmer weather came to replace it. Sometimes they went and swam in the water, other times they walked along the shores. Mags accompanied them a lot, but they also went by themselves frequently.

It was during one of those walks, where they seemed to walk to the edge of the earth, that they found the cave. The cave was isolated from the rest of the beach, resting on top of a small hill. It was dimly lit in the cave, and it was extremely difficult to see during the nights; only slivers of light shone from the sun or the moon and stars into the cave. The mouth of the cave provided an excellent view of the ocean and the cliffs in the distance. They searched the whole cave the day they found it, and other than a few small creatures lurking about, the whole place seemed untouched. Neither Finnick nor Athena had any idea if they were even allowed to be so far away from the rest of the district. Neither of them asked, just in case they weren't. Neither of them talked about the cave at all with anyone but themselves, and the secluded spot became their secret. They went there frequently after they found it. It felt like a safe place, this little cave that nobody seemed to know about except for them. It felt like one of the few places they could both be themselves without fear. Athena didn't say it out loud, but she liked having this secret place to go to with Finnick, and she got the feeling he did, too.

Athena didn't bring up being a mentor to Mags again, and the topic went undiscussed for a very long time - so long that Athena started wondering if she should interpret her silence as a no. It wasn't until one morning when Athena was on the way to the docks, and a spear and a net in her hands, that the subject came up again. Athena was walked past Mags' house and saw that Mags was outside, tending to her garden again now that the weather was warming up. When they made eye contact, Athena gave her a wave and a smile and was going to keep walking (she wanted to stay for longer and help Mags out, but Hudson was always very strict about punctuality, and she was one of the few people outside of her mother, her sister, and her fellow victors who didn't treat her differently now), but Mags called her back. Athena stopped and waited as Mags got to her feet, wiped the dirt off her hands, straightened out her light brown smock, and walked over to her.

"Hey, what's up?" Athena asked, as Mags drew level to her.

But Mags didn't answer, instead pulling her into a bone crushing hug, murmuring, "Thank you... thank you..."

And Athena understood immediately. She was saying, "thank you for looking out for me, thank you for lessening the burden, thank you for transferring the weight of the world from my shoulders to yours, thank you." Mags carried the weight with such grace, but at a certain point, after all the years Mags had been carrying it, letting go was important, even vital. And Mags was saying now was the time. She was saying yes. Athena hugged her back tightly, rubbing her back lightly.

"My mother and Calypso," she whispered. "Look out for them while I'm gone, okay? Please? Make sure they're okay."

They pulled away. Mags held her at arm's length, squeezing her arms and nodding. "Yes. Of course. And you look after him."

"Of course," nodded Athena immediately, knowing she meant Finnick. "Of course I will."

And within a week, everything was settled and confirmed, and Athena was set to become a mentor when the next Games rolled around. Alayne, Tatiana, Syrio, Ajax, Leto, and Hestia all came into contact with her separately, telling her how excited they were to see her again. President Snow himself contacted her to tell her how much he and the rest of the Capitol couldn't wait to see her as a mentor. Athena made herself sound as excited as she could.

Her mother and sister, all things considered, took the news well, both when Athena told them she was considering it a few weeks ago and when she told them it was decided. They didn't beg her not to, they didn't try to stop her, and they didn't even seem surprised. It was almost as if they always knew it would happen. Still, when her status as a mentor was confirmed, it seemed a greater heaviness hung in the Maris house, and Athena could not shake the feeling that she was failing them.

She thought about this as she sat in the sitting room with them one evening. She sat curled up in an armchair; she was meant to be reading, but she couldn't concentrate, so she instead watched Calypso and her mother. They were on the sofa on the other side of the spacious room (it felt like a distance of miles to Athena in that moment), her mother reading a book herself, while Calypso was stretched on the sofa, her head in her mother's lap, staring into the currently empty fireplace (it was already becoming too warm to use), humming the tune of some song under her breath. After a moment, Athena recognized it as  _The Turn of the Tide_. Suddenly, she got an idea. If it worked, then it might bring some levity to them, if only for a moment. If it didn't work, she'd embarrass herself. Athena figured it was worth the risk. She marked the page she was on in her book carefully, placed it on a table, got to her feet, and began to sing.

"The tide was low, when it all began."

Her mother and Calypso both snapped their heads over to look at her, looking puzzled. Calypso had stopped humming. Athena made herself press forward.

"You said to have hope, and you took my hand."

"What are you doing?" Calypso said, sitting up straight on the sofa and looking at Athena like she'd grown an extra head.

"C'mon, you love this song!" Athena replied.

"Yeah, but - " Calypso began, and was probably going to tell Athena that this was coming out of nowhere (which was true) or that she couldn't sing (which was even more true), but Athena charged forward; if she lost steam, the whole plan would crumble, and it already wasn't a very strong plan.

"It was the ocean we ran to, for our brand new lives. But there was no escapin', not from those lies."

"Athena - " her mother began.

Athena didn't listen; it was a fairly jazzy tune, so she danced and twirled over to her mother and sister, singing, "I saw no light, oh, nothin' but the gloom. I had no reason to fight, until I saw it in you. But it wasn't easily won, the people against the king, who watched from his throne, listened to the people sing," she continued, dropping to her knees dramatically in front of Calypso, who cracked a small smile, encouraging her. "But, oh, the king is not the god he wants to be. Only human, flesh and bones like you and me," she sand, took Calypso's hand in hers, making her giggle. "He tells the people not to believe me, that it's not true. But do you wanna be free?"

Athena didn't sing the next line. Instead, she stared at Calypso, hoping she would take the hint and oblige her. There was a pause, where everything was silent, and then Calypso sand, "I do."

Athena's face split into a wide grin, and she was pulling Calypso onto her feet, twirling her around the sitting room, making her laugh as the two sang the next line.

"The tides were high, but they came with love."

Athena pointed at her mother dramatically as they sang the next line, "It was a mother's smile, bright as the sun." Athena danced over to where her mother was still sitting, watching her daughters with a fond smile, as she and Calypso sand, "But war turned the girl to stone, it pulled the boy under," Athena took her mother's hand and pulled her to her feet.

"Oh, Athena, no - " her mother began.

"And the kind, he watched from his throne and brought more thunder," Athena and Calypso sang, and the latter assisted the former in attempting to get their mother to join them. "The waves kept crashin', they brought us to our knees."

"Oh, come on, you two know you get this musical side more from your father than me - "

"But you were still fightin', so I didn't retreat," they sang, dancing in circles around their mother. "Oh, you thought I'd forget you, but don't you know?"

In unison, Athena and Calypso stopped both their singing and their dancing. They looked towards their mother, and it was clear what they wanted her to do, what they hoped she would do. For a moment, she was silent, before she finally smiled and sang, "When the love is true, there is no letting go."

Athena and Calypso exchanged delighted looks. They brought their mother in the midst of their dancing, and this time she joined in as the three of them sang.

"And, oh, the king is not the god he wants to be, only human, flesh and bones like you and me..."

The three of them sang and danced their way through the whole song, as the light of the setting sun filtered through the window to shine on them. Even when the song was over, they kept laughing and dancing together until night had long since fallen. And in a way, it felt quite like a tide had turned in the Maris household.

 

*

 

It was an early Sunday morning when the phone rang in the Maris home - an occurrence they were getting more used to happening in their house. Athena had just emerged from the bathroom after her morning routine when she heard her mother calling her down to answer the phone. Yawning and stretching, Athena bounded downstairs and picked up the receiver, while her mother went back to making breakfast in the kitchen.

"About time you picked up," Finnick said in greeting. "You had me waiting for ages."

"Ages meaning...?" Athena asked, raising her eyebrows.

"About two minutes," he replied, and when she scoffed, he said, "Time is money. You should know that, wise one! Anyways, better late than never. Good morning, by the way."

"Morning. You're up early," Athena commented, then thought about that for a moment. "You didn't sleep, did you?"

"Who has time for that kinda thing?" Finnick replied, almost dismissively. "I've been thinking, and - "

"Finnick - " Athena began.

"Don't worry, I'm not tired," he assured her, then had to pause as he let out a yawn. "Ignore that. Anyways," he continued, before she could say anything to that, "I was wondering if you were busy today."

"Not really, no."

"Okay," said Finnick, sounding relieved. "In that case, d'you wanna go on a little adventure with me? I know where we're headed, don't worry."

"Uh - is it anything that's going to make me regret saying yes?" Athena asked slowly, raising her eyebrows at how vague he was being.

"No - or, I don't think so, anyway," Finnick replied. "I hope not. I guess there's only one way to find that out, though."

"Okay," Athena said. "Yeah I'll go on this adventure. Why not? When do you want to go?"

"I was thinking as soon as possible."

"Okay. In that case - have you eaten?"

"Uh - no," he confessed. "Why?"

"My mother's making breakfast right now," Athena said. "We can go after breakfast. If you're not getting sleep, you might as well get some food in your system."

A pause; then, "What is she making?"

"No clue," she admitted. "I just woke up. I don't really care, though. You've eaten my mother's food, haven't you? You know she can cook."

"Good point," Finnick conceded. "Would your mother mind?"

"She likes you now, so no," Athena replied matter-of-factly. "And Calypso won't mind either, in case you were wondering."

Another pause, as Finnick seemed to think about this. Finally, he said, "I'll be there in fifteen."

They bid each other goodbye and hung up. Athena walked over to the kitchen, stuck her head through the doorway, and said, "Mom, Finnick's coming over for breakfast."

Athena didn't expect her mother to be disgruntled by this announcement, but she still looked much more pleased by it than she had expected. Her mother looked from Athena to the pancakes she was making and back again. "Good, then I didn't make too many pancakes! You know I hate wasting food - I hope he's in a mood to eat!"

"You hope who's in a mood to eat?" came Calypso's voice, and Athena turned to see Calypso walking down the hall to join her at the doorway, stretching.

"Look who finally decided to join us," Athena grinned, raising her eyebrows and leaning against the doorframe, crossing her arms as she looked down at her younger sister.

"We all need beauty sleep," Calypso shrugged, refusing to be ashamed. She turned to their mother. "Who do you hope is in the mood to eat?"

"Finnick," said their mother. "He's coming over for breakfast."

Calypso's eyes widened, and she instantly looked alert and excited. "Oh, really? Right now?"

"This is when we're having breakfast, so yeah," Athena grinned. "He should be here soon."

Indeed, Finnick was there before long, joining them as they ate. He seemed to take care to be extra charming around her mother and sister, complimenting the food, joking around with them, helping clean up afterwards. Her mother was good at acting unaffected, but Athena could tell she was impressed. Athena shook her head but smiled still rather pleased by it.

After breakfast, since Calypso didn't have school that day, she was heading out to spend the day with a friend of hers, Sirena. Athena was privately glad that Calypso had Sirena; since Athena's victory in her Games, Calypso had conveniently had a significant increase in supposed friends who always wanted to come over to see Calypso in Victor's Village (which they were quick to insist had absolutely nothing to do with the beautiful houses and neighbourhood full of victors). Sirena, by contrast, only came over when Calypso offered and seemed to have no interest at all in Athena or any of the other victors, only in Calypso, and Athena loved Sirena for that alone. Her mother was walking Calypso over to meet with her, before heading out herself for a shift weaving baskets. She didn't need to work anymore, but sometimes she did, just to keep busy. Athena couldn't criticise her for it; she was the same way. Before her mother and Calypso left the house, the former turned to Athena and Finnick, who had just finished putting the dishes in their proper place.

"Where exactly is it that you two said you're going again?" her mother asked, staring at them.

Athena looked up at Finnick, since she still didn't know herself. Finnick only said, "I'm - um - showing her something important."

Her mother looked from Finnick to Athena with raised eyebrows, clearly not quite satisfied with how vague that answer was. When her mother's eyes met hers, Athena only gave a shrug and a small nod to her mother, signalling to her that she trusted Finnick. Her mother seemed to think that if Athena trusted Finnick, she could trust him, too.

In the end, she just shrugged and said, "Well, be careful."

"We will be," Athena assured her. "See you guys later."

Athena and Finnick waved them goodbye. When they were alone, they turned to each other.

"I should get changed," said Athena, who was still in her pajamas.

"Good idea," he agreed, then added, gesturing to the baggy shirt and pants, "Not that that ensemble isn't adorable or anything."

"Shut up," she said; then, "Come with me."

She led him up the stairs, before making him wait outside her bedroom. She grabbed her sketchbook from her bedside table (she had had the good sense to take out the drawings of Finnick and hide them away in her drawer), and placed it in his hands.

"Look at them while I change. Tell me what you think."

As soon as Finnick agreed, Athena went back into her room, closing the door behind her. From the other side of the door, Athena could hear the muffled sound of pages being turned. He was likely skipping through all the drawings she had done of her experiences in the Games, which were growing in number. He had already seen most of them, anyway.

"This sketch of  _The Adventurer_ is nice," he commented, after a while. "I like how you made Hudson the focal point."

"I'm glad you do, because Hudson didn't," Athena said matter-of-factly, taking off her shirt. "She's definitely someone who likes staying behind the scenes."

"Not a big fan of your colour palette for your painting of the beach, though. Besides, nothing matches up to that one painting you did where you had the boat sailing in the background with those really beautiful sails."

"Everyone's a critic," Athena said airily, throwing on a light blue tunic, but she knew Finnick had a point; she hadn't liked that about the painting either. All the colours had seemed slightly off to her.

"Really nice colour composition on the painting of the sunset, though."

"Are you just using terminology you've heard me and Noah say randomly?"

"Oh, completely. Without a doubt. By the way, great use of perspective with this sketch of the docks."

Athena shook her head and laughed as she took off her pants. When there was a long pause, she called out, "What else have you got for me?" He didn't say anything. Athena frowned. "Finnick?"

Still, nothing came from the other side of the door. Now rather concerned, Athena finished changing quickly, throwing on a pair of shorts, worn leather shoes, and putting her hair up in a ponytail. With that, she opened the door to her bedroom and looked around. Finnick was sitting and leaning against the wall beside her door, staring down at the open sketchbook in his hand. Athena peered over his shoulder and saw the two pages at which he was looking. One page had a painting of her mother and sister, sitting together on the sofa as they appeared to be reading a book together, Calypso's head on their mother's shoulder as they gazed down at the thick volume, their curly hair, so much like Athena's, let loose. The way they were painted made them look like they were outside while the sun was setting, shining upon them, making them look almost golden as their dark brown skin reflected the light. They were both smiling and animated, looking absorbed in what they were reading. Athena had made it while seeing them together in the sitting room one evening. The second page had a painting of Mags, just after finishing her gardening for the day, enjoying a cup of tea. Strands of wiry grey hair were falling in her face (she brushed them aside often, but they always fell back there; Mags always called it a losing battle), and she was holding her cup of tea with both wrinkled hands. The corners of her mouth were turned up in a small smile and her eyes crinkled up the way they always did when she heard or saw something funny. Athena had made that after helping Mags with her gardening one morning, when Mags invited her for a cup of tea afterwards.

"You got so many details so right," Finnick murmured. "Even so much stuff no one ever notices..."

"I pay attention, I guess," Athena shrugged. "And I've been hard at work. I do this whole art thing a lot now."

And she did. She had to keep up with her talent anyway, since the Capitol was supposed to check up with her on it, and she liked doing it now that she had the hang of it (she still did more abstract art often, unable to quite shake it; it was just the sort of art she couldn't show many people). At the very least, it kept her busy, and Athena liked keeping busy.

"You draw them so beautiful..."

"Well, because they are beautiful," Athena said automatically. "Well, they are to me, at least, and I'm the one doing the art."

Finnick tore his eyes from the painting of Mags to look up at Athena. He closed the book, got to his feet, and handed it to her carefully, as though scared to break it, "These are beautiful, Athena. Seriously. You should really keep at this, even outside the obligatory stuff. You can create some really beautiful stuff."

"You really think so?" Athena said, a little surprised; she knew she was improving a lot, but still not by that much - and many, many,  _many_ drafts came before those finished products, after all. Finnick nodded, and Athena gave a small smile. "Thank you. I'm glad you think so." She returned the book to its place on her bedside table, before rejoining Finnick. "Now - you said something about an adventure?"

"Indeed I did," he said with a nod. "Come with me."

He led her back down the stairs and out of the house, waited for her to lock the door behind them, and led the way out of Victor's Village. As they walked, they passed the Nereus twins, who were sitting on their front porch together, a departure from their typical nature, since they usually stayed inside. When they caught sight of Athena and Finnick walked, they simply stared and watched them go. Athena raised a hand to wave to them. Finnick, after a moment of thought, did the same. Penelope and Talisa both seemed a little surprised at the acknlowedgement, but still returned it tentatively. Athena grinned, before turning away, facing forward again. Finnick, however, was looking at her.

"You got them on your good side, I see."

"It's not that hard," replied Athena. "You just have to give them the time and a few chances to get it right. They're good people."

"Yeah," he agreed with a nod. "They are."

They walked out of the gated community that was Victor's Village and into other parts of the district. Hoping Finnick might give away more information now, Athena turned to him and said, "So... what exactly is this again?"

Finnick looked at her with raised eyebrows. "You'll see any moment now."

"So you're not going to tell me anything?" said Athena, disgruntled. "This could be a kidnapping, for all I know."

"Oh, damn," Finnick deadpanned, "you got me. I'm kidnapping you right now, in broad daylight, when multiple witnesses saw us together. And I totally need to make it this elaborate, because it's not like I know where you sleep or anything."

"Fine, point taken. This isn't a kidnapping. Still, I'd like a little more information."

"You'll have all the information you could possibly want in a little while. Patience, Maris."

Knowing she wouldn't get anything from him, she finally gave in and walked in comfortable silence alongside him. She still took careful note of the route they were taking, trying to get an idea of where they were headed. Athena had thought that perhaps he had stumbled upon more caves, but he wasn't leading her anywhere near the beach, instead taking her into the city. The area they were walking into was familiar, and it was familiar because she had lived here once. Her old home wasn't that far from here...

"Finnick," she said slowly, frowning, "where - ?"

"We're here."

He brought them to a stop in front of a hour, slightly secluded from the other ones in the area. It was very small; a little larger than her old home, but it wasn't a very big difference. The house was a dull white, with the roof painted baby blue. The porch steps were of a splintered, weakened wood and the shutters were all closed. There was something very muted, almost forlorn about the place.

"What is - ?" Athena began, looking over at Finnick, but stopped at the look on his face. He was staring at the house with a blank expression, but something about his face seemed to hint at sadness, at grief. Immediately, she understood. "Oh. Oh. This is - ?"

"Allow me to present to you," said Finnick, with a dramatic sweep of his arms, seeming to snap out of his thoughts, "the ancestral home of the Odair family."

"You used to live here?" Athena said, surprised. She tried to imagine a younger version of Finnick walking in and out of that white front door and found that she could not.

He nodded. "My family didn't have a whole lot of money or anything. I mean, we weren't really badly off. I never had to apply for Tessera or anything. But we couldn't afford to live in any of the nicer houses. I liked living here, though. The people were nice. I could see the cliffs from my bedroom window and I always made up stories in my head about going up there and just learning to fly one day. That sounded ridiculous, sorry," he said, shooting her a sheepish look.

"No, it didn't," Athena said immediately. "It didn't sound ridiculous at all."

He still looked a little embarrassed, but seemed a little comforted by her words. He continued. "I mean, I don't think I could ever come back. Not after everything. But still. I miss it a little sometimes.

"Things got worse when I was ten, though. My mother died. Accident at the docks. One of the sharper hooks dug right into her chest. She was dead by the time we - me and my father - got to her at the hospital. My father died a year later. A stroke - and grief, I think. He really loved my mother."

Athena tore her gaze away from the house to look at him, stunned. She had never known, had never even had an inkling of this... nobody had ever talked about it at the academy, and it felt like the sort of thing that would spread fast. But Finnick Odair was as good at keeping secrets as he was at acquiring them... it was what he dealt in, after all...

Finnick was talking in a strained voice that suggested he was trying to act like something that was very painful to him didn't bother him at all. And she could not blame him; the loss of a parent brought a pain that never stopped stinging, even, she was sure, as years passed. The loss of two had to be something else entirely.

She found she wasn't very surprised by this news, not when she thought about it. Finnick lived alone, and everyone knew that Mags had practically raised him; she had always known something must have happened with his first family for Mags to have come into that position. And hadn't he already told her about this, in his own vague way?  _"Losing a parent is hard. Trust me, I'd know a lot about that."_ It had always been there for her, waiting for her to piece it together... and Athena, in an attempt to let him know in some way that he was not alone and that she was there for him, shifted closer to him until their arms were brushing against each other. She could feel him relax, just slightly.

"The only living family member I had left was my aunt, so she moved in and took care of me, since I was still a kid and all, but it wasn't... easy for either of us. My aunt was in a bad way... her husband, my uncle, had died a couple years before my father did, and it was hard for her. She got addicted to alcohol, and my father was really the only person she had left, one of the only people who was there for her. When he died, too... her little brother... it destroyed her. And she didn't really... she didn't have many people to help her. All her friends sort of abandoned her once her alcoholism got really bad... she didn't have anyone except one person... Mags."

Finnick only nodded when she looked at him in surprise. "I know what you're thinking. I met Mags before I was Reaped, though. She and my aunt met by coincidence - ran into each other at the markets one day a few months after my father died. I guess Mags... saw that she needed help. Somehow. You know Mags, she knows everything one way or another. She invited the both of us to dinner. She and I got close right away. She'd joke around with me and was patient when I was upset and gave me advice and always knew how to handle my aunt even when I didn't. Having Mags around... helped us a lot. It saved us, in a way. I don't think my aunt and I would've made it very far without her.

"But things were still bad for us. We were poorer than ever, because it was hard for her to hold a job and she blew a lot of money on booze. And we were just in a really vulnerable place, the two of us. The Games looked like the only way out for me, so I started training harder and harder at the academy until I became the best in my year." He paused, thoughtful, then turned to her and asked, "Do you remember anything about me from the academy?"

Athena thought about it for a moment. "You got into a lot of fights."

Finnick grinned. "So, that's my legacy over there?"

"Well, it kind of stopped being your legacy after you won," she replied. "Then you started being a legend that everyone loved."

"Everyone?" he repeated, raising his eyebrows and shooting her a significant look.

"We've discussed this," Athena said firmly. "Everyone excludes me, but the other ninety-nine percent adored you."

"Ah, I maintain you had a shrine dedicated to me that you tore down when you came home after the Games," he said airily with a smirk, and Athena let out a laugh. After a moment, he became more serious again. "I sort of... felt a need to prove myself, I guess. I was always considered good, but suddenly it was important that I was the best. So I just got in all these fights to try and prove it to everyone. And if anyone said anything - you know, about my parents or my aunt or how we didn't have a lot of money, I started fighting right away. I never got in trouble - I could pretty much talk my way out of it.

"I knew I was ready when I was fourteen. I was young, but I knew I could outperform all the oldest students in the academy, and time was running out for me and my aunt. I couldn't wait. So I asked Mags if she would do everything she could to help me win if I went in, and she said yes. I knew I could trust Mags, so that decided it."

"And then you volunteered," Athena murmured, and she remembered it; the confidence with which he had strode to the stage after volunteering, acting as though he didn't even notice the glare he got from the older kids who had lost what was probably their last chance to participate in the Games.

He nodded. "I did. And then I won. My aunt was still there when I came back, but she was in an even worse condition, because for weeks she didn't have me or Mags looking after her. She'd been all alone... we tried to make up for the lost time, but the damage had been done... I begged them to let her go on the Victory Tour with me," he was saying, and his voice shook just slightly. Athena shifted a little closer to him. "I told them she could just stay on the train the whole time. I didn't want to leave her alone for weeks again, and neither did Mags. But they said no. My aunt was there when I got home from the Victory Tour. But one morning the next week they found her body in an alley and broken bottles beside her."

Athena looked at him in surprise. "Oh, Finnick - "

He forced himself to keep talking, charging on and saying with an unsteady voice, "Me and Mags planned the funeral. The Capitol filmed it. That's why I wasn't surprised that they filmed your father's. I thought maybe there was a chance they wouldn't, but... I knew to take you to that alley because it's where I went after I saw them filming her funeral.

"I still was technically a minor when she died, but they just let me live alone. I still miss them all, my parents and my aunt. I love them so much. My aunt, she always felt a little guilty because her being an alcoholic stopped her from taking care of me as well as she could have, but she loved me. I know she did. And I've always loved her, too. The years went by... and now here I am."

Athena was silent for a long time, reeling from all this information. Not for the first time, she couldn't believe she had ever thought that those glimpses of Finnick Odair she had once seen were all that there was to him. Now she could see that there were oceans of grief and sadness within him, threatening to take over and tear him to pieces. He had lost his family so young, his aunt so soon after his Games... all of it at fourteen and younger, and who had been there? Finnick had been there for her through it all, as had Mags, and before them was her family, but who did Finnick have?

 _Mags_ , she thought, and felt a rush of affection stronger than usual towards her.  _He has Mags. Mags has always been here. Mags basically raised him..._

"Finnick," she said finally, rather weakly. "Finnick, I'm really sorry that happened to you. I have no idea how that must have felt - "

"It's okay," he said suddenly, though Athena knew from the look on his face that it wasn't really. "I'm moving forward more and more everyday. I'm not - I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for me or anything," he looked sort of sheepish now, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking down at cracked, uneven ground beneath their feet. "But I - I just want you to see me. I want you to know me. That means knowing my past, too."

Athena stared at him for a moment, thoughtful, before reaching out and offering him her hand. A small, silent gesture that told him she was there for him. He looked over at it, before his lips curled into a small smile and he took it, interlocking their fingers. She placed her head on his shoulder gently, and felt his muscles relax gradually beneath her.

"A family lives here now," Finnick said, nodding at the house. "But they're gone now. They leave every Sunday from nine until one. I used to just sit here and look at the house for hours - I'd hide, so nobody saw me and asked questions - but I would just look at it. I would never knock or anything. That's how I know that they're always gone then. I don't know where they go. But the house is always empty at that time."

"Have you been in there?" Athena asked. "You know, since everything happened?"

"Well, I did break in once," he said casually. Athena snapped her head to look at him, removing her head from his shoulder. " _Once_. Two years ago. I showed up, and I didn't even mean to go in or anything, but I knew they'd be gone and I just - I couldn't stop myself, really. It wasn't really hard. Nobody was looking and picking the lock was a walk in the park."

"What was it like in there?"

"Everything was different," he said, with a slight frown as he spoke of it, his brow furrowed. "It didn't even feel like the same house from the inside. The furniture was different, the way they laid it out was different, they even painted the walls all these colours. It looked nice, I guess, but - but it all felt wrong. I know it's stupid, but it nearly made me sick, seeing it all like that. My old room looked different, too, but you could still see the cliffs from the window. I could still picture myself jumping off and flying." A small smile crossed his face again. "I liked that. And there was still this patch of floor that was all uneven and chiped, the way I remembered. I took a tiny piece of it before I left," he made a relatively small circle with his index finger and thumb on his free hand to give Athena an idea of the size. "I doubt anyone noticed. I mean, there wasn't any report of a break-in, but it's mine."

"Do you still have it?"

"Oh, yeah. It's in one of my drawers back at my house. I take it out and look at it sometimes. It's sad, sometimes - a lot of the time - but it can also be grounding. I can show you, if you want. It's not like I'm ashamed or anything," he murmured, leaning into her as she replaced her head on his shoulder. "I think I'm supposed to be - you know, since I'm a big fancy victor now - but I'm not. I'm not ashamed of this house of my parents or my aunt or anything. It's just not... really something I can share with just anyone."

"I understand," she said softly, and she did; though it wasn't to the same extent as Finnick, she did know what it was like to have to hide parts of herself, especially now that she was a victor. She'd always had to hide her family's financial state and her thoughts on the Games from everyone, but now it was on a much larger scale. And now she kept trying to hide her family altogether. People in the Capitol always asked about her family, about her dead father and darling mother and sister; Caesar brought it up more than once in interviews. She always gave them the bare minimum, though; the ones she cared about, the things she had been through, and how she felt about it all, those were all things that were to stay between her and the few people she trusted with them.

She didn't express how pleased she was that Finnick didn't consider her as just anyone, instead saying, "You can trust me."

"I know I can," said Finnick. "I've felt that way about you for a while. That's why I want to show you something else - don't worry, it's a lot happier than all of this."

Athena raised her eyebrows, intrigued. "Oh, really? Are you going to give me hints on this one?"

"No," he said, but he had an almost giddy smile on his face that told her it must be something really good. "I'm a big fan of the element of surprise."

"Right," Athena said, heaving a dramatic, long-suffering sigh that was done mostly to make him smile, which he did. "Well, I want to show you something first."

Finnick looked interested. "You do?"

"I do," she confirmed, and she didn't know when exactly she had decided it, but she suddenly felt like she needed to do it. She wanted him to see her too, to know her too, especially as it was becoming clearer to her that they really had always been quite similar. It all seemed incredible to her; they had gone to the same school, had both frequented the docks, had even lived in the same area, but they had still gone so long without ever meeting... it felt frustratingly like years of stolen moments that they'd never get to have. Still, now was the moment to try and make up for lost time, which is why she knew she had to show him what she was about to show him now. "And I say we do my thing first, because it's probably closer."

Finnick considered this. "I guess it'd be unfair to ask for an idea of where we're going?"

"Completely unfair," Athena said firmly.

"So I'll be going in blind here?"

"More or less, yeah. Now you know how it feels."

Finnick thought about this for a second, before shrugging and saying, "Okay. I guess this adventure can handle a detour."

Athena smiled. She was a little nervous, a little apprehensive, but she was also oddly calm, despite the fact that what she was about to show him was very personal. It felt right to be doing this, to be showing him this.

"Okay," she said. "Follow me, then."

And still holding his hand, Athena led Finnick away from the little white house, to a place made of brick that had once been all she had known.

 

*

 

Finnick didn't ask questions. He knew it would be hypocritical to after not answering Athena's questions about where he wanted to take her. And he didn't really mind, anyway. He knew he'd find out soon enough, and he trusted Athena. He was still a little curious about where they were headed, though. Athena seemed very familiar with the area, navigating this rundown sector of District Four without ever pausing to make sure she was going the right way, let alone to ask for directions. The way she navigated the neighbourhood had a certain ease to it that could only come with familiarity. Finnick was wondering where that familiarity came from, when she suddenly brought them to a stop.

They were standing in front of a brick house. This place was a little smaller and more rundown than his old home, with cracked bricks and uneven porch steps. There were no curtains on the windows, so he could see that the place was empty, but there was still a rather warm feel to the place. Finnick looked from the house to Athena, at the wistful, rather sad look on her face, and understood at once.

"Is this - ?" he began.

"My old home," she said, nodding, "yeah. The ancestral home of the Maris family."

Finnick looked back at the house. He wasn't really surprised. He had known her family didn't have much money, it would make sense that they had lived here, too. He felt rather sad as he stared at the brick house, imagining a younger Athena running around inside, much happier, unburdened by all she'd been put through in such a short amount of time... he also felt oddly sad as he thought about how close her old home was to his. They had always been so close, yet it had taken so long for them to ever meet...

"We can go inside," she said suddenly. "If you want. The place is abandoned and is going to stay that way for a while, since it's technically my mother and sister's official dwelling. If I die before they do, they'll have to come back here, so... it's pretty much free for our use whenever we want, so we can go in. I mean - if you want to. We can leave, if you don't really - "

"No," he said quickly. "No, I want to. I want to see this if you want me to."

"I do," she said, with a small, shy smile. "I want you to see me, too. I want you to know me, too."

He smiled, rather relieved that she felt the same way he did. "Then lead the way."

They were still holding hands. He felt far too used to it, probably more than he should be, he knew. Still, she didn't let go, which was all that really mattered. Instead, she tightened her grip just slightly, before leading the way up towards the house, climbing up the uneven porch steps.

"Do you have a key?" Finnick asked, suddenly remembering that that could be an obstacle.

"I will in a second - hold on."

Before Finnick could ask what she meant by that and how exactly she intended on making a key appear out of thin air, she released his hand, and he was momentarily distracted by his disappointment. He only watched, however, as Athena wriggled a loose brick to the left of the door carefully out of its spot. In the empty rectangular space that it left was a key.

Athena picked it up and waved it in Finnick's direction, grinning and saying, "Maris family secrets. This is classified information, you know - not that that really matters now, since we don't live here anymore, but... still. This isn't something I show just anyone."

"I'm honoured," said Finnick, leaning against the wall beside the door and crossing his arms, watching as Athena unlocked the door.

When she unlocked it, she replaced the key and the brick carefully until everything was where it should be. Athena opened the door slowly, jerking her head in the direction of the interior of the house, indicating for him to follow her.

The place, unsurprisingly, was completely empty, almost like nobody had ever lived in it. Almost, for Athena walked through the house, looking around like everything was familiar to her. She ran her fingers along chips in the wall as though they carried great meaning, looked around at empty halls and rooms wistfully. They ended up in the small sitting room.

"The sofa was right there," she said suddenly, pointing at a spot against the wall, not far from the window. "And there were two armchairs on either side... and then the table right there in the middle... and then the television was there... I can picture it all... I know this isn't much... I wish you could see it the way I do..."

Finnick wanted to tell her that anything that brought this much love and fondness to her had to be a very beautiful thing, but the words couldn't come to him. He just watched her from the other side of the room, staring at the faraway expression on her face, clearly lost in memories that felt too far to her now. She walked over to the kitchen, and he walked along behind her. One of the kitchen cupboards was open, and she walked over to it, peering inside. Unsurprisingly, the cupboards were empty, dust starting to form on the empty shelves. There was an odd expression on her face as she looked at the cupboards.

"... didn't look much fuller before," she murmured, before closing the cupboards firmly.

Her eyes caught sight of markings on the doorframe of the kitchen and stayed there, as though glued there. She walked over to them, running her fingers along the markings. There were too many of them, carved in too deep, for them to not be something that someone did on purpose. It wasn't until he realized that the highest of the markings was exactly Athena's height that it hit him what this probably was.

"My parents used to track my and Calypso's heights like this," Athena said, with a fond smile on her face. "They measure you every two weeks at the academy - you already know that - but they liked having their own record. My father used to say that we'd grow to be so tall that the frame wouldn't be high enough to mark our heights. I'm way too short for that, though. Calypso might; she's pretty tall for her age. She probably gets it from our father; he is - was so tall... I used to wish I'd get it from him... you can see how that worked out."

She shot him a long-suffering look, but her lips were still curled into a small smile. Finnick smiled, his hands in his pockets, but he couldn't help the way his heart expanded painfully in his chest at the sight of her running her fingers along the markings on the doorframe. This life she had lived was so far from her now. He knew Athena didn't miss having to worry about money, didn't miss how hard her parents had to work, didn't miss the stress that constantly hung between them; but they had all been alive and together and, in their own way, happy, and he knew she missed  _that_. Besides, the stress hand't exactly gone away for them; it had just taken a new form. And she was burdened by so much more now... he wished he could take it for her. He wished he could take everything that was weighing her down and put it on his shoulders. He had learned how to carry it, but people like Athena shouldn't have to; people like Athena didn't deserve it.

Athena ran her fingers over a marking that Finnick realized matched Calypso's height, a small frown on her face, her brow furrowed; then, she said quite suddenly, "Do you ever wonder where you'd be if it weren't for the Games? I mean, in the grand scheme of things, but also - like - just right now. At this moment. What would you be doing right now if your Games hadn't happened?"

Finnick was a little thrown by the question, but he couldn't pretend he didn't think about it. He tried not to, though. He saw no use in dwelling on things that couldn't be. His Games and everything that followed had happened the way they had happened, and he would just have to deal with it. He didn't see how thinking of the impossible would help him. Still, sometimes, late at night when he was alone and couldn't bring himself to sleep, he couldn't keep his mind from avoiding the topic.

"Sometimes," he said finally. "Why? Where do you think you would be?"

Athena thought about it for a moment. "Still here, probably. I'm eighteen now and everything, but I wouldn't be able to move out so soon. I wouldn't want to, either. I'd want to stay with them. They'd probably need my help. I'd be gearing up to start working at the docks full time, since I'd be graduating soon... today's a Saturday, so I'd probably be working - either with Hudson or at the markets, weaving baskets to sell. I'd like to think my dad would still be alive," she said heavily, "but I just don't know. He was so sick. I don't know where the money would've come from to help him... at least I would've been there... I could've said goodbye." A pause. "What about you?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "That's the thing. I was so lost. I was this scared kid. The Games were my one way out, the only thing that gave me a direction to go in, if nothing else. Without that... my aunt would probably still be dead." The thought put a bad taste in his mouth and he suddenly felt rather hopeless about everything, but he knew it was true. "I like to think she wouldn't be, but... a part of me knows it was inevitable. So I'd have nothing, nowhere to go... maybe Mags would take me in. I don't see her letting me end up on the streets. But otherwise... I don't know. There was no place for me anywhere... maybe I'd find you," he mused. "We were always so close to each other, without ever realizing it... maybe we'd run into each other, and you'd instantly be head over heels with this handsome, mysterious stranger - okay, fine," he said, at the look she gave him, "you'd be annoyed with and slightly hostile towards this arrogant, mysterious, yet undeniably good-looking little shit," he corrected himself, and Athena let him have it, "but you'd see something in me that's worthwhile and... we'd go from there. I don't know. But maybe that's how it would've been. Maybe we were meant to meet no matter what happened, meant to be in each other's orbit."

Athena looked at him, a look on her face he couldn't quite read, but she looked at him almost as though mesmerized. "You think so?"

"I'd like to think so," he said. "It's a nice thought. If it's true, I'd know the version of me that never went into the Games is okay, if he's got you and Mags."

"Really?"

"That's how I feel in this reality with you two."

Athena looked a little surprised at that, but her face softened. She turned to face Finnick more squarely, but her hand was still on the doorframe with its worn markings, saying gently, "Finnick - "

And her voice, his name in her mouth, felt like a song of which he could never get tired. But it was rushing into bright light after being in the dark for so long, and  _"you know what happens if you go too far."_

He collected himself quickly, saying, "Don't go spreading that around, though. I've got a very important reputation of being a cool, playboy heartthrob to maintain."

Athena seemed to understand immediately, smiling and saying, "Of course. I'd never want to mess with that."

They were quiet for a moment. She looked over to the kitchen window and moved to stand in front of it, allowing Finnick to stand beside her. The view provided glimpses of the flowery fields and the ocean in the horizon.

"I used to play in those fields all the time," Athena murmured. "Until it got dark out. I took Calypso out there, too, when she was born. I'd play all sorts of made-up games, alone and with her. The view of the ocean is better from my room, though," she said after a pause. "My old room, I mean. It's one of the things I always liked about it. I can show you..."

Finnick nodded, and Athena led the way out of the kitchen, down a short hallway, and up the stairs until they reached something he supposed must have once been her bedroom. She looked around thoughtfully.

"My bed was there," she said, pointing at a corner of the room by the window. "And I had this little desk here. And the mirror was right there," she pointed at another corner of the room, staring at the bare wall like she might be able to see her reflection in it. She walked over to the window, and he joined her. She smiled a little as she said, "See? The view's a lot better here."

And it was. The ocean was easier to see, the waves lapping along leisurely and the sun making the water shimmer. The fields could still be seen, too, with the flowers in full bloom. The view felt oddly familiar to Finnick, and it took a while for him to realize why.

"You've painted this, haven't you?" he said, and he was certain of it even before she answered; he had seen it while flipping through her sketchbook one day, with no description other than:  _Past Views._

"I did," she said, looking a little surprised by the comment. "You remember that?"

"Of course I do," he said, looking over at the horizon and noting how well she had managed to convey the scenery onto her sketchbook; she didn't give herself enough credit for her abilities as an artist. Her improvement was incredible. "I'm sure you remember all my poetry that I've shown you."

He had, over the months, shown her his poetry. There were certain poems that he left out - particularly, poems that spoke of curly black hair and big dark eyes and warm, soft skin - but he showed her a lot of it. He found he didn't regret showing them to her at all. She didn't judge him or think less of him over anything she saw in his notebook. She seemed to understand a lot of it right away; and the things she didn't understand... well, she knew when to ask and when not to ask, when he was and wasn't ready to talk about certain things.

She smiled. "Hard to forget the words of a wordsmith like you."

"Don't I know it," he replied, grinning. "Glad you can recognize it."

"Okay, let's not get too cocky," she said, raising her eyebrows, and he let out a laugh.

A silence fell between them. They both stared out the window, at the ocean on the horizon, until Athena said, "I used to dream about sailing away. About sailing far, far away and finding some new land where everything is different and beautiful and starting a new life. It's stupid, I know," she said, shooting him a sheepish glance. "But I couldn't help myself sometimes..."

"I understand," he said with a nod. "Living so close to the ocean... you always end up thinking about how a new world could be a boat ride away. A better world, too, maybe."

"Maybe," she said gently. Neither of the said what they were undoubtedly both thinking; that it would be very hard for this new world to be much worse than Panem. "I could've never left, though. One, I was like, ten, and two, I couldn't have left my family like that. I would've had to take them to the new world with me, and they don't like sailing as much as I do."

"I see," he said. "Has Calypso been sailing yet?"

"Not yet," she replied. "She's a little scared to, I think. I've been trying to convince her, though."

"We'll get her out there one day," he vowed; he didn't say how soon that one day could be, considering the other thing he still had to show her.

"It's going to take a lot of convincing, I think, even from you," she said. "I used to think she'd love it, but I think that's just what I wanted to think."

"What do you mean, even from me?"

"Oh, don't pretend you don't know," she said, shooting him a look. "You have a hundred percent approval rating from Calypso and my mother right now."

Finnick raised his eyebrows, though he was delighted at the fact that Athena's mother and sister liked him. "That's a lot of pressure."

"Just be yourself and I'm sure it'll work itself out," she said with a nonchalant shrug.

"That's very touching of you."

"Just remember to be nice," she said, giving hi a wary look.

"You ruined the moment, Wise One."

Athena grinned, a touch apologetically. "Sorry. I'm just overprotective of them. I don't want them to get hurt any more - any more than they already have."

"I can understand that," he said, with a small nod. "I don't mean them any harm, though."

"I know you don't," she said with a small smile. "I trust you with them."

Somehow, he was even more pleased at that, at having Athena's trust, than he was at the thought of Athena's mother and sister liking him.

It wasn't long until they were back outside the house and Athena was taking out the hidden key to lock the door (a break-in was unlikely, since the house was empty, but Finnick supposed it was just a force of habit for her). All while they were leaving the house, Athena looked around, as though she was afraid of missing something important. He knew this wasn't the first time she had gone back to this house, nor would it likely be the last (just like those secret, early morning visits to her father's grave, the ones she pretended didn't happen; though he knew that she knew that they all knew about it, and she had assured Finnick and Mags several weeks ago that after a talk with her mother, she decided to put an end to those secret visits). He supposed it was fair for her to want to go back sometimes; he just didn't want her to be alone, and he was scared about what would happen if she got too hung up on the past.

When they reached the top of the pathway, they turned to face each other.

"You said you still have something to show me?" she said. "That is - if you're still up for it."

"Oh, I'm up for it," he said, unable to help the giddy smile forming on his face at the thought of what awaited them where he was about to take her. "And you will be, too, I bet. You won't want to put this off."

"Strong words," said Athena, raising her eyebrows, but she was smiling. "I'll take you up on that."

He looked over at her, her face awash with the glow of the late morning sun. It was odd that someone he hadn't known existed less than a year ago would be so important to him, would be the person with whom he wanted to spend this moment. Now that he was there, though, he wouldn't have it any other way. Grinning wider, he extending a hand to her slowly.

"Well, come on, then."

 

*

 

Athena allowed Finnick to guide her through the district. She didn't know where they were headed, but she found she didn't mind as much this time around. She was content just being with him. She was glad she'd shown him her old home; it had been a little hard, being back there, especially with someone outside her family, but she knew he understood it as best as he could, and she felt closer to him now for it. Also, they were still holding hands as they walked along at a leisurely pace, which she also liked more than she cared to admit.

It wasn't long until she realized they were heading for the docks, having once walked this route on a regular basis to get to the docks for her shift on  _The Adventurer._ At that realization, Athena became a little curious; what was bringing them here? Athena glanced over at Finnick, trying to decipher the look on his face, but she couldn't get anything but excitement - a full, giddy excitement that for once he couldn't seem to bring himself to try and hide. The dimpled smile on his face made her heart feel lighter than it had in a while, but she still tried to figure out why he was feeling that way. They were walking to the docks... and Finnick was more excited than she had ever seen him... she was putting the pieces together in her mind when the came to a stop.

"And... behold!" said Finnick, releasing her hand (Athena fought down the disappointment with difficulty) and making a sweeping gesture with his hands.

Athena looked over at where he was gesturing. They were at the docks, and, tethered to the docks, a new addition that had not always been there, was a boat. It was a decent size, not big but not small, and from the looks of it, everything was state of the art. She had been coming to this conclusion, slowly but surely, in her mind, but seeing it like this was something else entirely.

She turned to Finnick, excitement building up inside her slowly, and said, "You got the boat?"

"I got the boat!" he confirmed, beaming. "It took a while to make it all happen, but... and there are quarters inside, too - nothing too big or fancy, but it's cosy. You like it?"

"It's amazing!"

"And what about the sails?" he asked, a little eagerly.

She hadn't even paid attention to the sails yet. She looked up at them and realized with a jolt the familiarity of them. She had painted these sails before; she had painted this exact pattern, this artfully messy zigzag of blues and greens, swirled with shades of gold. It came from the painting she did of the beach with a boat sailing in the background, the one Finnick always liked so much. Athena turned to him slowly, like she couldn't quite believe her eyes.

"Did you - ?" she asked.

"I did," he said. "I pulled some strings to have it made. It cost a little extra, but I think it was worth it. I haven't shown this to Mags yet - the boat was only ready to go last night - but I've got daisies - her favourite flower - carved onto the doors. That way, the boat's sort of yours and hers, too, in a way." At first, Athena couldn't speak, which Finnick seemed to interpret as her being unhappy, because he added quickly, "If nothing else, the design you did was really beautiful and I thought it should be showcased somehow, so - "

Athena suddenly flung her arms around him in a hug; she wasn't entirely sure why she'd done it, but it felt right. Finnick seemed a little surprised by the action at first, but still was quick to hug her back tightly, saying, "I guess you really like it, then."

"I think it's amazing," she said earnestly, when they pulled away. "Seriously. I'm really happy for you for getting it - I know you've wanted it for the longest time. And it means a lot that you thought about me - or something I made, I guess - when you got it."

Finnick shrugged, surprisingly sheepish. "Just seemed to make sense..."

There was a pause, before Athena asked suddenly, "What are you going to name it?"

"What?"

"The ship. Is it going to have a name? If it is, what is it?"

Finnick looked like the thought had ever occurred to him. "I have no idea, actually... don't suppose you have any bright ideas?"

"Not really," she admitted. "Besides, it's your boat, you should name it. You don't need to do it right now," she added, when he looked thoughtful, his brow furrowed as he concentrated. "Or at all, really. I'm just used to people naming them."

"No, I want to name it, and now feels like the right time," Finnick shook his head slightly. "It's just... figuring it out..." He looked thoughtful for several long moments, before his face lit up. "I know what to name it!" He looked from the boat to Athena, before saying firmly, a smile forming on his face, " _The Morning Light._ "

" _The Morning Light_ ," Athena repeated, her lips turned up in a smile, looking up at him, unable to help feeling happy just at how excited he clearly was. "I like it. Nice ring to it."

"I thought so, too," Finnick said, looking pleased at her reaction. "So, that just leaves one more thing."

"Which is...?"

"I haven't actually been on the water with this yet," he explained. "Like I said, it was only ready to go last night."

"How did you resist?" Athena demanded. "It looks amazing."

"It was hard," he admitted, "but there's a reason for it. I didn't just bring you here because I wanted to show you the ship; I wanted you to be there with me when I went sailing for the first time."

Athena stared at him in surprise, but she felt her heart swell. "Really?"

"Really," he said with a nod. "It feels right that you're here with me. You were the first person I ever even told that I wanted a ship, and you kept encouraging me about it. Feels right that you're there, too, when I go sailing for the first time - if you want to."

"Of course I want to!" she said. "If nothing else, because of what you just said."

He grinned, a tinge of relief in it; then, he extended a hand towards her, saying, "Shall we?"

Looking at him then, Athena was surprised by how much she wanted to kiss him. It seemed to come out of nowhere, yet at the same time, it felt like the feeling had been a long time coming, like she had seen it coming for a long time now and had let it happen, anyway. There wold be time, later on, to analyze all of this, to decide what it meant - if it was something serious that meant she was in trouble or if it was a spur of the moment thing she did not have to worry about, and if it was serious, what it would mean for her and the two of them together, what was to be done about it, where did it come from... all of it. Not now, though. Now was the time for something altogether more pressing. Now was the time for the boy (because that's what he was, not the shining, golden boy of District Four, not the sexy playboy that he was forced to make himself seem, not the killer of seven at the age of fourteen; just a boy) who had just opened his heart up to her, who was waiting for her to come away to the sea with him. That seemed much more important and much more appealing to her than any analysis of her emotions that her brain could come up with, which is why Athena acted the way she did just then.

"You don't even have to ask," she said firmly, taking his hand in hers.

Athena and Finnick hurried over to board the boat, already working together seamlessly to get it sailing out on the water. It was a perfect day for it, too; sunny skies that weren't so bright that they worsened visibility, and the wind and the waves were not completely still but still not out of hand. And as they were sailing, the shimmering ocean water stretching out for miles in front of them, the sun warming their skin and the wind and sea spray keeping them from overheating, they did not quite feel free - that was a reality that was still far, far away. But they had a taste of it, of that freedom, and right then, as they sailed together, that felt like more than enough.


	28. XXVIII

**XXVIII**

 

Athena and Finnick ended up spending a lot of their free time either in the cave or on  _The Morning Light_. Mags had been sailing on the boat and loved it (particularly the carved daisies on the doors), as had Athena's mother. Calypso hung back, a little apprehensive about getting on the water, but agreed to let Athena and Finnick take her sailing one day. Finnick had also gotten the approval of Hudson, which was exciting in how rare it was to get Darya Hudson's approval, especially if you didn't work very often on  _The Adventurer_ , which Finnick didn't; he'd only started doing it more because of Athena.

"You seem like a fine enough person," Hudson said appraisingly. "Besides, if you've got this one's approval - " she jerked a thumb in Athena's direction - "you've got to at least be decent."

"Consider yourself lucky," Athena told Finnick after Hudson had honoured him with her approval. "It took years to get Hudson to like me."

"Maybe she liked you for longer and you just couldn't tell," Finnick said, but he looked pleased. "She looks like the type to be really good at hiding how she's feeling."

And admittedly, Athena had never really thought about it like that before. "Well, still. I'd still consider myself lucky."

Athena had finally mastered understanding Mags' speech perfect. What was more, she was getting better and better at understanding and using sign language. She liked it, being able to communicate easier with Mags, and Mags seemed to appreciate it, too. She gave Athena a lot of tips about mentoring to prepare her (Athena discussed mentoring a lot with Finnick, too, since they'd be working together as co-mentors), and Athena told her more about her mother and her sister so that she knew the best way to check up on them while she was away. Mags was very easy and quite fun to talk to, which became more pronounced now that they no longer had any sort of barrier between the way they communicated.

"You really do have a good eye for this sort of thing," Mags said one day, as they sat on the porch steps of Finnick's house. Finnick stood on the path to his home, as he was making Athena sketch him while doing a variety of ridiculous poses, insisting that it was good practice. They would be the only drawings she did of Finnick that people would be allowed to see.

"Thank you," she said to Mags, before finishing up the current sketch of Finnick and calling out to him, "Next!" Immediately, he switched his pose so that he looked thoughtful, staring off into the distance. Grinning, Athena turned to a new page and began to draw, murmuring to Mags, "It's all in the muse... don't tell him I said that, though."

"Your secret's safe with me," Mags said with a soft smile. "Or I guess I should say from him."

"Thank you," Athena said again, smiling, "no need to give him reason to blow up his head even bigger."

"Sometimes I wonder if that's possibly at this point," said Mags, staring at Finnick, still in his slightly dramatic thoughtful pose, with her head slightly tilted.

Athena laughed, and soon Mags joined in. Finnick looked over at them with a slight frown, saying, forgetting to continue posing. "Hey - what's so funny?"

"Nothing," Athena and Mags said together.

"And stay still!" Athena added, brandishing her pencil in his direction. "Otherwise you're going to look weird and lopsided and then you're never gonna let me forget it."

Finnick still looked a little disgruntled, but went back to his own pose. Athena and Mags exchanged amused looks, before Athena tucked loose curls behind her ears and went back to her sketch. By the end of it, Athena had ten different sketches of Finnick in ridiculous poses that Finnick called some of her best work yet. Mags looked fondly down at the sketches, but said that she had a much greater preference for Athena's sketch of a giant, man-eating squid that Calypso had described from a dream of hers.

Athena felt that, in a way, she, her mother, and her sister were all growing closer than ever, growing back together after the grief they had endured and were still enduring. Athena still couldn't help but feel somehow separate from them, like the Hunger Games had put a barrier between them that was impossible to tear down, but they still tried to be there for her any way they could. Sometimes, after particularly awful nightmares, Athena crawled into bed beside her mother, who, after waking up, would not question her presence at all, only stroke her hair soothingly until she was calm enough to drift back to sleep. And sometimes, if Calypso had heard Athena screaming after a bad nightmare, she would come and knock until Athena let her in, before lying beside her in bed and singing all of Athena's favourite songs until she felt better. In turn, Athena tried to be there for them in any way she could, making her mother breakfast in bed when she had trouble getting out of bed in the morning and coaxing Calypso forward and walking her to school on days when she was scared to face the world. Calypso was still singing songs, including  _The Turn of the Tide_ , and her mother smiled a little easier, and those facts, if nothing else, encourage Athena to move forward.

They were pretty much adjusted to their new life - at least, they didn't think they would get any more adjusted. Athena had fairly solid bonds with everyone in Victor's Village. Murphy Arno and Noah Moore were still worlds of fun to mess around and joke with, especially when they were together. Athena was almost positive that Lillian Brooks liked her, especially since she'd given her some of her favourite books to read, which Athena didn't think Lillian would do with someone she didn't like (Athena suspected that Lillian didn't really have many people to talk about all these books she read with and was trying to change that). The Nereus twins also seemed to like her, since they had invited her over on several occasions (the first visits were very awkward affairs, since they didn't talk much originally, and then they did talk, it usually came out wrong, but it was still a nice gesture, and they got better with time), and Athena had managed to coax them out of the house to go on a walk with her a few times, which Athena was pretty sure they didn't do often, considering how pale they were, the paleness of their skin a start contrast to their short, jet black hair and the dark clothes they always wore. Everyone also seemed to like Athena's mother and Calypso. In an odd way, they all looked at Marella Maris in a motherly sort of way, while Calypso was everyone's little sister. Douglas Maris' absence still left a gap, but they were learning to work through it.

It helped that Athena always had something to keep her going, something to get her out of bed each day; be it making sure that her mother and Calypso were alright, or that Finnick and Mags were alright, or that Penelope and Talisa got some fresh air instead of staying inside for too long at a time, or that Noah hadn't drank too much the previous night, or that Murphy didn't wear himself out too much with his workouts, or that Lillian got her currently borrowed book back along with detailed reviews, or simply having work to do on  _The Adventurer_ or in the markets weaving baskets. Her mother, her sister, Finnick, and Mags all helped her in this sense, checking up on her frequently, giving her some sort of a desire to continue moving forwards. Grief still hung over her like a physical thing, and the Games haunted her constantly, but she was finding a way to move onwards and upwards, and that was what mattered.

But it wouldn't be long until that changed. The Reaping for the seventieth Hunger Games was fast approaching. Her first Reaping since her victory in the Games, and it would kick off her first Hunger Games as a mentor. Walking Calypso to and from school was harder than it ever had been, because whenever she looked at the students gathered in the courtyard, the only thing she could think of was the fact that she would be training two of these students and potentially sending them off to their deaths. Athena thought about the possibility that she would know one of them, that it'd be someone that she attended classes with, and felt her head spin at the mere thought of it.

The night before the Reaping, Athena found, unsurprisingly, that she could not sleep. She tossed and turned restlessly, but sleep did not come to her. The sounds of the fireworks display that they put on for hours the night before a Reaping didn't help, either - especially since now, all she could think about was how much fireworks sounded like the canons that signalled the death of a tribute... she found it harder than ever to find something to celebrate in this horrible, awful, wicked Games that they were forced to play every year.

Eventually, she gave up on sleep, sitting up straight in bed and placing her head in her hands, rubbing her face blearily. After a while, not wanting to sit still any longer, she got out of bed and crept out of the room, tiptoeing down to the kitchen and making herself a cup of tea. After she was done, she settled in the armchair she usually sat in as she drank. Her eyes found the telephone and stayed there for a long time; she found there was one person that she really, really wanted to call, despite the late hour. It wouldn't be the first time they'd talked on the phone so late at night... before she could talk herself out of it, she shifted her armchair so that it was closer to the telephone receiver, picked up the phone, and dialled the number.

The phone rang for a long time, but not as long as she was expecting, before the familiar voice picked up and said, "Hello?"

"Hi, Finnick," said Athena, remembering to be quiet for the sake of her mother and sister, sleeping upstairs. "Did I wake you?"

"No," he admitted. "I never get much sleep the night before a Reaping. Don't worry about it."

"Okay," she said, relieved that she hadn't disturbed him.

"Why'd you call?"

"I just wanted to talk," Athena confessed, a little lamely. "If you don't mind."

"Not at all," Finnick said immediately. "I'm glad you did. At the very least, maybe you can drown out these fucking fireworks."

"Has the display always lasted this long?" Athena demanded. "It feels like it's been going on for ages..."

"You'd think you get used to it," Finnick said with a sigh. "Not at all, though. You'd also think they'd go for something different from fireworks, since they sound so damn much like canons, but... that's also a no."

"So I'm not the only one who thinks so?" Athena said, relieved.

"Not at all," Finnick confirmed. "From what I can tell, victors are never at ease during firework displays."

Athena let out a sigh, leaning back in her seat and rubbing her eyes blearily. "Should be over soon, though... they go on any longer and it'll be all night. How is the damn district supposed to sleep? Don't they want us to look all pretty for the cameras?"

"We've all managed as a district to look presentable every other year," Finnick pointed out. "They might be taking it for granted that that'll just continue."

"Maybe we should show up looking horrible, Finnick," she suggested, taking a sip of her tea. "That'll teach them a lesson. Then again - do you know how to function if you're not looking pretty?"

"As always, I'm delighted by the confirmation that you think I'm pretty," he said smoothly.

"You're the worst," Athena said, and Finnick laughed.

There was a pause, before Finnick said, "How do you feel? About the Reaping being tomorrow?"

Athena didn't answer at first, before saying slowly, "I knew being a mentor wasn't going to be easy, but now I just feel like I'm in over my head..."

"The first one is the worst," Finnick said in understanding.

"It gets better after?" Athena asked disbelievingly.

"No," Finnick said bluntly. "But you know what to expect after. You know how to handle yourself."

Athena considered this for a moment, before saying, "Did you ever know any of the people you mentored? It's just... that's all I can think about... how it might be someone I know, someone I used to joke around with..."

Finnick was quiet for so long that Athena almost told him to forget it when he finally spoke. "I didn't really know you or Kai. I have these vague memories of seeing you in the halls, but that's really it. Penelope and Talisa were both in my year, so I knew them - not really well or anything, but I knew them. And then there was Byran - he was the male tribute the year Penelope was in the Games... he was in my year, too, and we always used to spar with each other... we sat next to each other in class..." Finnick was quiet for a very long time, as though composing himself, before continuing. "The male tribute during Talisa's Games - Cress - was a little younger, I didn't know him well. And my first year mentoring, I was fifteen and both tributes were older volunteers, so I didn't know them at all.

"It does make it harder, knowing the tributes - if that's what you're asking. I mean, it's not easy either way - the first time I mentored, I was fifteen and the tributes were two eighteen year-olds that I was always supposed to look up to, and all of a sudden, they're looking up at me to help them. I can't even begin to describe how that feels. But it's worse when you know them. They're people you used to see and talk to in the halls, and all the sudden, their lives are in your hands. They're your responsibility. And you're supposed to train them up and send them off to the arena, knowing full well you're sending at least one of them to their deaths. You know at least one of them has to die, but you still feel like you failed them. And it just gets more personal when you used to know them."

Athena didn't know if having Finnick confirm all her fears made her feel better or worse. After a moment, she said, "Was that how you felt when I was in there? Because I'm starting to understand it more and more."

"Yes," he said, paused, then added, "except it was worse with you." Before she could ask him to elaborate on how, he was saying, "Anyway, if it means anything, I'll be there with you. I won't leave you in the dust. And I'm glad you're going to be there with me. I feel better about it. And I'm glad Mags is going to get to have some peace."

"Me, too," Athena breathed; after all, not only was she preparing herself for the horrible stress and pressure and responsibility that being a mentor would doubtlessly put her under, but she was also taking herself away from her mother and sister, and she was doing it for Mags. "Thinking about that is the only thing that makes all of this seem worthwhile."

"I'm going to entertain the idea that working together is also a benefit for you."

"Whatever gets you through the day, Odair," said Athena lightly, taking another sip of her tea.

They talked for the rest of the night, only stopping when Athena finished the rest of her tea and made him wait for her to make more. It wasn't until the sun was rising, though, flooding the previously dark sitting room with warm light, that Athena fully realized how long they had been talking. Neither of them hung up regardless, until some time later when Athena heard footsteps descending the stairs and could see Calypso halfway down the steps, looking at her curiously.

"I think I have to go," Athena told Finnick lightly, maintaining eye contact with her younger sister.

"Okay - oh, damn, we've been at this for a while," Finnick said, apparently only just realizing this. "I think we just broke a record. Anyways, I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah, see you," Athena said, and they hung up. She said, addressing Calypso now, "Good morning. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Who were you talking to?" Calypso asked, looking at Athena with her brow furrowed.

"Finnick."

Calypso's eyes widened. "Why were you talking to Finnick  _that_ early?"

"I call him when it was still night, technically," Athena replied. "We just... didn't stop. No big deal."

"You talked to him all night?"

"Not  _all_ night," said Athena. "Just for a whie."

"What's going  _on_ with you two?"

"Nothing's going on," she replied. "Why would something be going on?"

"You were talking to him in the middle of the night! How is that nothing?"

"Calypso - " Athena began.

"Do you  _love_ him?" Calypso teased in a singsong voice, grinning wickedly at her.

"Shut up, Calypso," said Athena sternly, shaking her head. "He's my friend."

"I don't talk to any of  _my_ friends that late at night," Calypso pointed out, raising her eyebrows.

"That's because you're ten and have a bedtime," Athena said, leaning forward and patting her younger sister's cheek lightly, grinning at the irritated look on Calypso's face at the comment.

"Shut up," said Calypso. "Anyway, you didn't even answer my question. If you don't  _love_ him," said Calypso, using the same singsong voice for the word 'love', "why don't you just say so?"

"This is all rich coming from you," said Athena, very aware that she was completely avoiding the subject. "If anyone's in love with him, it's you."

"Am not!" Calypso protested immediately.

"You did your project on which victor you look up to the most on him, Calypso," Athena said, taking another sip of her tea and looking at her with a slowly forming grin.

"That doesn't count, that was before I met him!"

"That doesn't mean you were less in love with him."

"Besides, didn't you do yours on him, too?"

"No," Athena said with a snort at the mere idea. "I had to do that when I was your age - before he became a victor. I probably wouldn't have done him even if he was a victor at the time. I did Mags."

"Do they know about that?" Calypso asked, curious. "That you did Mags and I did Finnick?"

"They're aware of it," Athena said. "I showed Mags mine. She said it was cute. Finnick hasn't seen yours, though, since I know that's what you want to know. I told him he can't see it if you don't let him."

"Good," Calypso said firmly. "And don't think I didn't notice how you still didn't admit to not loving him."

"Shut up, Calypso," Athena said firmly, before draining her second cup of tea and heading for the kitchen. "I'll make breakfast."

"I'll help," Calypso chirped.

"You're weirdly cheerful considering how early it is," Athena said, her eyebrows raised. As Calypso walked over to her, Athena placed her fingers under her chin and lifted it slightly to examine her thoughtfully. "Did you get a lot of sleep last night?"

"No," Calypso admitted. "I kept thinking about the Reaping. I know you're safe and we don't have to worry anymore, but I just... it makes me nervous, you going away again. And I know you have responsibilities, but I just wish you didn't have to leave."

Athena's heart seemed to weigh a thousand tonnes in a chest that felt like it was too small to contain it. Athena brought Calypso into a tight hug, wrapping her arms around her tightly. Calypso hugged her back immediately. Calypso felt so small underneath her hands, it reminded Athena painfully of how much she had to endure so young. And in two short years, Athena could be mentoring Calypso, could be forced to send the girl she was holding into what could very well be her death. Athena could not protect her from anything. She was failing her.

And the thought of it made her want to cry, so she pulled away from Calypso quickly before she could start, and said, as steadily as she could, "How about you wake Mom up? I'll take care of breakfast. You two can get ready and it'll be done by the time you come down - hopefully. Okay?"

Calypso nodded slowly, before turning around and walking back upstairs. Athena watched her as she went, before giving her head a slight shake and turning away. She set to work on making breakfast, and indeed, everything was laid out on the dining table by the time her mother and Calypso arrived, with only minor delay. Her mother kissed her cheek and thanked her for making breakfast, but there was something very mournful about the look in her eyes that made it clear there was something much heavier on her mind than breakfast. Athena had an idea on what that was.

They ate in what was mostly silence. Her mother and Calypso insisted on clearing up after, not letting Athena touch anything. Afterwards, they stayed together for a while. They sat side by side on one sofa in the sitting room. The television remained resolutely off, none of them wanting to watch Capitol programs all talking about their excitement for this year's Games. It would be unavoidable soon, especially for Athena, but for now, the television would remain off. Mainly, they talked and joked together, their hands joined loosely, until it was time to get ready for the Reaping. As mentors, Athena and Finnick had to be at the Justice Building a full hour early to discuss protocol and go over the procedure. The whole thing felt pointless, since they had been attending Reapings their entire life and had been taught the significance of different aspects of the event in detail in the academy. Still, they both knew better than to argue.

Athena showered quickly, before drying off and getting dressed. She wore a light yellow dress made of a soft, light material, the straps thin and the medium-length dress slightly loose-fitting. Her mother came up - followed by Calypso, who wanted to watch - to do her hair, that same style it had been done at every Reaping. Athena knew it was time to please the Capitol, and they all went crazy for the style. Besides, it felt wrong, attending a Reaping without her hair done like this. They all stood by the mirror as her mother set to work on her hair, her fingers combing through and working skilfully on her curly hair, her movements soothing. The style looked as perfect as usual when she was finished.

Her mother lingered behind her for a moment after she was finished. Her hand went to the blue spinel necklace on Athena's neck, the one she had given to her a year ago to wear as her token. Athena, now at the proper age to possess the necklace at eighteen, never took the thing off if she could avoid it. Her mother turned the pendant over in her fingers delicately for a moment, before releasing it and smoothing down her dress idly.

"There you are," her mother muttered. "You'll blow them all away."

Athena smiled sheepishly, but the compliment didn't please her so much when she thought about how 'they' extended to the Capitol; when she thought about how she would soon be returning to that world of violence and insincerity and blindingly bright, false colours; when she thought about what would happen if they found her too desirable to keep their hands off her, about all the people who would apparently pay anything to have her for one night. She didn't express any of this to her mother or Calypso, though. She doubted she could say anything of Snow's threats to them even if she wanted (and she definitely did not). Her mother didn't mean anything by her. Her mother didn't know better.

"Thank you."

But Athena's mind was already drifting as she said it, thinking about where she had been exactly one year ago. A year ago today, they had been in their old home, not this luxurious home in Victor's Village. At around this time, she was just returning home from her shift on  _The Adventurer_ , after amassing all that money from Marie, Selene, and Adrian through the seafood she sold. Finnick Odair had been nothing but a rather obnoxious playboy that she had a very grudging respect for (how wrong she had been...), and Mags Flanagan nothing but an admirable woman that people overlooked too often (this wasn't entirely off the mark, but there was so much more...). A year ago today, her father had still been with them. A year ago today was the last time Athena had seen her father. She tried not to think about any of it.

She bade them goodbye for now (Athena had been assured that she and Finnick would have time to say their own goodbyes in the hour that was provided for the two tributes, though they would have to head for the train station fifteen minutes earlier, cutting their time short), before heading out of the house. There was still quite some time before the Reaping, but she was suddenly overwhelmed with a desire to be on her own for a while. With no set destination in mind, she set off on her own, trying not to think of what would be awaiting her at the Justice Building, and later in the Capitol. Instead, she thought only of the sun shining down upon her and warming her skin, of putting one foot in front of the other.

 

*

 

Finnick had never liked Reapings. He had never felt much excitement about them the way others had, never really looked forward to them. He sort of had, when he was fourteen and preparing himself to volunteer; he didn't classify that as excitement so much as a grim determination, though. But he had held his head high and carried himself with confidence and done what he had to do (which meant killing seven people, seven children, including his district partner, that much older girl, Coral Rika, with her kind smile and the way she'd always tried to help him a little, right until the end - but that was a door he could not open. Not today). And he dreaded Reapings more since then; it meant going back to the Capitol, meant continuing mentoring, meant sending more children off to their deaths. It would be so much easier if he could just stop caring, but he could never quite manage it. It would be his first year mentoring without Mags, but that was made easier by the fact that Athena would be around.

After his phone call with Athena (which made him feel better in the way that talking to Athena always did), he chose what he wore very carefully, as per usual on Reapings. He was coming from District Four, so he didn't have to do anything too over the top. Really, the more humble he looked, the better. He settled at last on a button-up shirt, a cardigan, and pants. He didn't eat; it was one of the days that he had breakfast with Mags, so he headed out next door instead. There wasn't any reply for several minutes after he knocked. Mags slept very often, and very deeply, so it wasn't a surprise. Finnick chalked it up to old age and all that she'd been made to endure over the course of her life. It was a little unnerving, though, seeing someone her age sleep as deeply as she did; he knew it was just his paranoia, his worry about her coming through, but he couldn't much help that, either.

He fished out a key to the house that Mags had given him and unlocked the door, stepping inside and calling out as he closed the door behind him, "Mags?"

No response.

He called out, louder this time, "Mags?"

Nothing again. Probably asleep. Finnick kicked off his shoes and walked upstairs. When he reached the door to Mags' bedroom, he knocked, once, twice, three times, just loudly enough. He heard a groan.

"Finnick?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"You can come in."

And so he did, opening the door and stepping inside her bedroom. Mags, definitely alive, definitely awake, was turning over in bed, pushing her grey, slightly straggly hair out of her face. She rubbed her eyes but smiled a little at the sight of him.

"Breakfast," said Finnick, and Mags nodded in understanding. "I can make it, if you want, while you get up and get dressed."

"Okay," Mags said, sitting up straighter in bed. "I guess I do still need to get dressed up, even if I'm not going to be on stage..."

Victors who weren't mentoring still had to attend the Reaping; they had to stand a little off to the side, where the camera would cut to them occasionally, particularly when their names were called when they mayor listed off all the district's victors, but other than that, they really weren't a focus. Still, it was standard to dress your best on Reaping day, and that only went double for victors.

Mags tried to get up, but Finnick would tell from the hastily hidden grimace that the action brought her great pain. Finnick rushed forward to help her to her feet.

"Do you need help with anything?" he asked, his brow furrowed. "Food can wait."

"I disagree; I'm starving," Mags sad, a little twinkle in her eyes, and Finnick smiled a little. "I'll be alright. Just hand me my cane..."

Finnick did as she said and left her on her own after assuring she'd be okay. He moved downstairs and into the kitchen, setting to work on making breakfast. The layouts of the interior of the houses of Victor's Village were practically the same, and Finnick was a frequent visitor of Mags' house, so using the kitchen was easy, so that he had breakfast ready by the time he could hear Mags' footsteps coming down the stairs. Finnick helped Mags the rest of the way down the stairs and into a chair.

"How are you feeling?" asked Finnick, as they began eating.

Mags looked at Finnick with her head slightly tilted, squinting a little as though examining him, before saying, "You've never been much for talking about yourself. You always ask first to avoid anyone asking you."

Finnick didn't say anything for a moment; partly because her words surprised him into a temporary silence, but also partly because he knew she was right. Finally, he said, "I know a lot of ways to avoid talking about myself. I wouldn't ask you that if I didn't care. This is your first year not mentoring in fifty-eight years. I want to know how you're doing."

Mags seemed to examine him for a few moments longer, before saying, as though she was still making up her mind about it, "I'm okay. It's an odd feeling. What Athena did, it was very sweet and brave of her, but... I'm not used to all this, I guess. I'm not used to the freedom. And it'll be odd, not being able to look after you or Athena..."

Finnick nodded in understanding. "I get it. It feels weird that you won't be with me." A pause. "I'll be okay, though. I'll be with Athena."

"Mhm, I suppose you will," Mags mused. "I'll be fine, too, I think. Athena comes from a good family... I think I'll like spending more time with them."

Finnick had to agree. Athena turning out the way she did was no surprise when no one looked at the family standing beside her. Seeing the three Marises together always filled Finnick with an odd combination of fondness, grief, and longing.

"Have you seen her today?" Mags asked suddenly, bringing Finnick out of his thoughts. "Athena."

"No," he admitted, before taking a bite of his food, swallowing it down, and adding, "I talked to her on the phone earlier, though."

Mags raised her eyebrows just slightly. "Was this all night long, too?"

Finnick stared at her, stunned. "How do you - ?"

"You think I don't know about all your secret talks?"

"Is it really secret if you know about them?" Finnick said, without any other snappy retort.

"I know everything, so I don't really count," Mags said airily, waving a fork around. "I thought you knew that."

"That's true," Finnick said with a grin. He paused for a moment, before saying. "It wasn't all night. She called me in the middle of the night because she couldn't sleep. I wasn't going to say no to her." At the look on Mags' face, he hastened to add, "It wasn't like that, Mags. I - I couldn't sleep either, and I like talking to her. She's my friend, that's all - and she's about to be my co-mentor."

"Okay," Mags said, with a knowing smile. "I believe you. I just mean... you both need to be careful..."

"I know," Finnick said, with a small sigh. "I told you about how we talked about it... but we're friends. I want her to be my friend. I don't want to stay away from her."

"You won't have to," said Mags, with a surprising certainty. "Just... be mindful of the risks..."

_Like I could ever forget._

"I will be."

"Well, good," Mags said serenely. "You can never be too careful."

"I know," he said again. "So does Athena. At least one of us is bound to be aware of it at any given time. We'll be okay. No need to worry."

"Ah, if only it was that easy to not worry," said Mags. "I'd probably end up living longer."

Mags smiled a little while she made the comment, but Finnick tensed up. It was not an easy thing for him, having to think about how Mags would die one day and that day was likely not very far away. It was a constant thing that he had to think about, but reminders like this from Mags hardly helped.

Mags, seemed to sense that Finnick was more tense now, said, "I probably shouldn't joke about that, should I?"

"It's fine," Finnick said, forced himself to believe it, and changed the subject swiftly.

After they finished eating. Mags insisted she could clean up on her own, but Finnick helped her out, anyway - partially because he liked having the extra time to spend with her. Some time later, Finnick decided to go find Athena, so he bade Mags goodbye (they would have time for a more formal goodbye later, he knew, which was a relief to him) and headed out.

Athena wasn't at home, as indicated by her mother who answered the door when he knocked. She wasn't at the cave, since the place was deserted when he got there. He knew she didn't have a shift with Hudson or at the markets that day, so that left one last place that Finnick knew where to check. Sure enough, Finnick found her on the deck of  _The Morning Light_ , stretched out on the floor. She was in a light yellow dress, her eyes closed and her dark, curly hair fanned out around her like a halo. With the light from the sun hitting her the way it was, she looked almost ethereal, too beautiful to exist.

"Hi, Finnick," Athena said calmly, though her eyes were still closed. "I hope you don't mind I'm here."

"I must've told you a thousand times, this boat is as much yours as it is mine," said Finnick, tucking away all the poetic terms floating in his mind to describe her for later.

"Just checking," she shrugged.

"You'd think you wouldn't have to check anymore, with the amount of time you spend here," he raised his eyebrows. "I even knew that this was where to find you. If it's not Victor's Village and it's not the cave, it's usually here."

"Fair enough," she admitted. "Why were you looking for me?"

"I just wanted to see you," he replied, walking over to stand closer to her. "I haven't seen you all day, and it's Reaping day. Is there a reason you're on the floor?"

"It just sort of happened," she said. "It's surprisingly comfortable, though." Then she said, patting the empty space beside her, her eyes still closed. "Come see for yourself."

Finnick simply stood there for a moment, staring down at her. Then, he obliged, laying down beside her.

"This is alright, I guess."

"See?" Athena said, satisfied. "Sometimes life is best on the floor."

"That's an interesting way of looking at life," Finnick said in amusement. "Can I ask how you ended up here?"

She shrugged again. "I left the house early because I wanted to be alone for a while. It's fine that you're here, though," she added quickly, seeming to sense Finnick's question before it came. "Besides, it's not like I can kick you off your own boat. Anyway, I left the house, but then I didn't know where to go. Here seemed to be the best place. I think it's... I like being by the ocean. And here, you can obviously see it up close, but you can smell it, and feel it rocking the boat a little, and hear the waves... it's relaxing."

Finnick hummed in agreement. "I can understand that." A comfortable silence passed between them, before Finnick said, "So I'm guess you're still anxious about being a mentor?"

"Well, how can't I be?" Athena replied, which was a fair point; Finnick knew from experience that it was a constant feeling.

"Have you seen Mags today?" she asked.

"Yeah, we had breakfast together."

"That's nice," Athena said with a small smile. "I should've stopped to see her."

"There'll be time to later," he pointed out, stretching out a little on the floor. "She's holding up alright, though, if that's what you want to know. She said she's excited for the chance to get to know your mother and sister."

Athena's smile widened at that. She looked a little relieved. "I'm glad to hear that. They like Mags, so this should work out okay. Besides, she's the only other person in Victor's Village who I trust to make sure they're doing okay."

"Yeah, the rest of us probably shouldn't be allowed anywhere near them," Finnick said with a grin.

Athena turned her head to face him, opening her eyes for the first time as she looked at him, her brow furrowed. "Well, I don't know about that. I'd trust you with them."

"You would?" said Finnick, surprised but delighted and thrilled.

"Well, yeah," she said, as though this should be very obvious. "Of course I do."

For a moment, Finnick didn't know how to respond, a smile forming across his face without his control at the knowledge of how much Athena trusted him. It was a trust he knew he didn't always have, so it was no small thing to him that he did now. Finally, he only said, "Well. In that case, I see no reason why I can't see that project Calypso did on me."

"Oh, nice try, Odair," Athena said, punching him lightly and laughing. "You're not getting it out of me. Calypso doesn't want you to see it, so you're not going to see it. Sister's honour."

"Fine," he said. "But I maintain the truth that you wrote it for her and don't want me to see how much you used to gush about me."

Athena just laughed again. Finnick let out a laugh himself, but mostly found himself mesmerised while he watched her; while he saw the way the sun hit her, and the way her smile brightened up her whole face, and how her hair fell in her eyes. He was confronted by an overwhelming desire to kiss her right then and there.

But that was insane, of course. Kissing Athena Maris was exactly the sort of thing he could never do under any circumstances. It was the "too far" about which Mags warned him. It was a risk neither of the could afford. Besides, Finnick could think of nothing worse than condemning Athena to loving him, someone who would always be property of the Capitol first and foremost, someone that could likely never be with anyone he truly loved. No, she deserved much better. How he felt about it did not matter. Never mind how much he had hated Ian Shad, never mind how upset he had been when Athena told him about how they had kissed (he was a little ashamed of how pleased he'd been when she added that she had no feelings for him and had turned him down). It was not his business who Athena Maris kissed. It never would be, because it would never be him kissing her, it would never be him who could be with her, even on the off chance she wanted him in the same way...

Athena seemed to notice that some sort of change happened in him.

"What?" she asked, her expression going from one of amusement to concern. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

What Finnick wanted to say was, "I wish I could kiss you. I wish it wouldn't get you killed or me killed or your mother or your sister or Mags killed. I'd beg you to let me kiss you, just one, and then I think I would be find. Just once. I wish I was braver."

What Finnick  _did_ say was, "Nothing. Floor's getting kind of uncomfortable, though. Wanna get up?"

Athena seemed to think about it for a moment, before nodding and saying, "Sure, why not? It'll have to happen sooner or later."

And so the two of them got to their feet, Athena straightening out her dress and fixing her hair, while Finnick dusted off his clothes idly. For a moment, they just stood there, before Finnick said, "We should probably head to the Justice Building. They'll be waiting for us soon."

"Good idea," Athena nodded.

With that, Athena and Finnick got off the boat and made their way towards the Justice Building, neither of them particularly excited for what was ahead of them.

 

*

 

Athena quite liked that Finnick was walking with her as they made their way to the Justice Building. She felt a lot better with him there than she did all the years she had made the journey to the Reaping alone. People called out to them frequently; people Athena's age swearing up and down that they would be on that train with them, people wishing them good luck as mentors, people telling them to make sure they brought one of their own back... they gave smiles and waves and even a few laughs, but neither of them said anything, and neither stopped walking. They moved a little closer together, almost instinctively.

When they arrived, they had to go around the back, but they could already see cameras being set up, ready to start broadcasting the event to the entire country when the time came. Mayor Trenton was waiting for them, in a long, navy blue dress, with her hair in a neat braid and a stack of cards in her hands, as they walked towards the front, along with two dozen Peacekeepers, the young boy and girl no older than nine, clutching the bouquet of white roses they would give to the Reaped tribute in their small hands, and -

"Finnick! Athena!  _There_ you two are!"

Alayne rushed over to them, her high heels clacking loudly against the newly polished wooden floors (done for the Reaping, Athena was sure. She couldn't remember if they did it last year, too; they must have, but Athena had clearly been too lost in her own mind). Her hair was now olive green and in soft waves, and her eye makeup and lips were painted red. She wore a short blue dress with too many gold patterns on it to keep track. Alayne extending her arms out in a hug, and was soon wrapping Finnick in a tight hug, kissing both of his cheeks (lingering a touch longer than altogether necessary, Athena noted), before doing the same to Athena.

"We were just about to send for you!" Alayne said, gesturing towards the Peacekeepers standing in a line.

Athena and Finnick looked over at the Peacekeepers, before looking at each other, eyebrows raised just slightly. Athena was privately glad that they hadn't felt it necessary to send for them.

"Right, sorry," Finnick said finally. "We didn't realize we were late."

"Oh, no matter, no matter, you made it on time!" said Alayne breathlessly, before taking a step back and examining them critically. "You both dressed for the occasion, that's good to see." Still, she fidgeted with Finnick's collar and straightened out Athena's dress as they made their way to the front of the Justice Building, just outside the double doors that would take them to the stage. "You're still in District Four, you haven't been truly prettied up yet, they shouldn't be expecting too much from you - besides, you're not the stars of this show! I'm sure that feels odd for you, Athena, not being the center of attention!"

"Something like that," said Athena with a tight smile, deciding not to mention that she was relieved she'd be taking a backseat to her tributes in terms of attention received from the Capitol.

"Okay," said Mayor Trenton, taking a step forward. "We'll be on any minute now. Now, Athena, Finnick - you'll already know this, I'm sure - but neither of you have to say anything. You'll just have to stand there, really."

"Easy enough," said Athena with a nod.

Mayor Trenton nodded, before turning to the Peacekeepers. "Alright. Time to get in positions."

The Peacekeepers gave a salute, before they all began filing away except for four - the four that would then escort the tributes to a room in the Justice Building to say their goodbyes, she assumed. The rest of the Peacekeepers moved to stand guard around the perimeter of the courtyard. Two of the Peacekeepers sat at the table where girls eligible to be Reaped signed in, while another two sat at the table where boys eligible to be Reaped signed in. Athena, Finnick, Mayor Trenton, and Alayne all stood before the door, ready to get on stage whenever Alayne got her cue.

Mayor Trenton, who was standing beside Athena, whispered, "Nervous, Athena?"

Athena shrugged a little. "Kind of. But this is the easy part."

"I suppose for you, it is," she mused.

Neither of them could get another word in before the doors were opening and Alayne was saying hurriedly, "This is it, this is our cue! Smile, smile, smile - backs straight, shoulders back, chin up - we're on camera!"

As expected, nobody was there when they walked on stage, but the cameras were likely rolling, so Athena put on a bright smile as everyone got into position. Athena and Finnick stood at the back of the stage, a little off to the side. Mayor Trenton stood at the front middle of the stage, in front of the microphone, ready to step forward and start speaking into it when the time came. Alayne stood at the center of the stage, a little off to the side of Mayor Trenton. It wasn't long after they had taken place that everyone, children from ages twelve to eighteen, made their way into the courtyard, filing away into two neat lines for registration. Athena stared at them as they began finding a place in the courtyard, boys and girls separated, with the oldest near the front and the youngest near the back. As she watched them, she felt dread building up inside her at the fact that two of them would become her and Finnick's tributes, that they would be sending at least one of them to their deaths soon...

Soon, after all those eligible to be Reaped were at the courtyard, then came everyone else. The other victors, coming to stand on a raised platform off to the side so all could see them. Those too young or too old to be Reaped found their place along the perimeter of the courtyard. Immediately, Athena's eyes searched the entire place desperately for some sign of her mother and sister, but, just as always, they seemed to have gotten lost in the crowd.

Trying to soothe herself, Athena looked on as Mayor Trenton, smiling, stepped forward and began to speak into the microphone. "Welcome, everybody! Today brings us to another Reaping Day. It is a day of significance for many reasons. One reason is that, though the Reaping and the Hunger Games, we commemorate the end of the Dark Days and the beginning of an era of prosperity that has continued on..."

"And so it begins," Finnick said under his breath. "I wish I could sleep with my eyes open. Would make these Reapings so much more painless..."

Athena glanced up at him, slightly surprised but amused at the comment. "They are really boring. During my Reaping, I spent a lot of it thinking about going to sleep."

"It doesn't help she does the same speech every fucking year," Finnick murmured back. "I get there's not that much variety to choose from, but god _damn_..."

Athena suppressed a grin with difficulty. "Are you like this every year?"

"Oh, absolutely," Finnick whispered, without a hint of shame. "Every Reaping has been me and Mags keeping up a running commentary of everything that's happening. It's much better than staying silent and listening to this shit."

Athena raised an eyebrow, just slightly. "What did you say when they called my name?"

A small smirk crossed his face. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

He didn't elaborate further. Before Athena could ask him to expand on that, she at last caught sight of her mother and Calypso. They were already staring at her. She gave them a nod and a smile that she prayed was confident and reassuring, before facing forward again.

"District Four has always been prosperous in many ways," Mayor Trenton was saying, finally finishing her speech on the history of Panem and the Hunger Games, "including that we have had many victors over the years..."

She then began listing off District Four's victors, many of whom were now dead. Athena and Finnick clapped after every name, as did the rest of the crowd. Finnick, as always, received a very enthusiastic round of cheers and applause. When Mayor Trenton said, "And, most recently, of course, Athena Maris!" the audience also applauded and cheered loudly.

"And now, let us welcome our esteemed Capitol escort, Alayne Stentor, for the drawing!"

Alayne stepped forward to the usual polite applause. She tapped the microphone in her usual rather obnoxious manner, so that the high pitch frequency reverberated across the courtyard. Athena flinched slightly at the noise, though this was far from the first time Alayne had done it.

"Welcome, welcome!" she said with a smile. "Welcome, everybody, to the seventieth annual Hunger Games! As always, it is my great pleasure to be here in District Four during this wonderful time of year! Let us all take a moment to celebrate seventy years of the Hunger Games!"

Athena and Finnick cast each other dark looks, but were soon hitching their smiles back on their faces and clapping with the rest of the audience.

"And now, without any further ado, let the Reaping begin!" Alayne said brightly, once the applause died down. "Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favour!"

"And we're finally getting to the point," Finnick murmured, under the cover of the thunderous applause and cheering from the audience as Alayne stepped towards the glass balls, standing up a little straighter. "Here we go."

"Ladies first, as always!" Alayne chirped into the microphone.

Athena felt her breath hitch, and tried to remind herself that it wasn't her in danger this time. If only that was the real problem. Athena glanced over at her mother and Calypso for a split second, grounding her, before looking back at Alayne as she plunged her hand into the glass ball on her right. She swirled the ballots around with her hands for a few moments, before finally pulling out a ballot.

"And the female tribute for District Four is," said Alayne, "Monique Rika."

Athena didn't recognize the name - and when Finnick nudged her and nodded at a girl standing near the very back, she understood immediately why. Monique was a girl with wavy blonde hair and brown eyes that were wide from surprise, and couldn't be older than thirteen; much too young for her to have ever crossed paths with Athena at the academy. In Monique's evident apprehension, Athena saw herself, felt the fear and anxiety that had nearly paralysed her on this day one year ago.

But Monique Rika barely had time to puff up her chest in a put-on show of bravery before a pretty girl Athena's age with flowing brown hair and green eyes stepped forward, calling out confidently, "I volunteer!"

"Well, well, well!" Alayne said into the microphone, looking positively thrilled; this Reaping was already much more exciting than the last, where there had been no volunteers. "It looks like we have a volunteer! Come on up, then, young lady!"

The girl walked confidently over to the stage, leaving the other assembled girls to part ways to let her pass. Some of them - friends of hers, Athena supposed - looked proud of her or even excited. Many of them just looked sad and angry at missing out on another - and what was probably a lot of their last - chances to be a tribute. Unable to stop herself, Athena's eyes flickered over to find Iris Dunne, and found, to their surprise, that Iris wasn't showing much of any emotion on her face, stepping aside to let the girl pass with an expression that bordered on indifference and pity. Athena supposed Iris hadn't been lying when Iris told her that she had realized District Four and Panem in general didn't function the way she thought it did. The girl didn't seem to notice the glares or she simply didn't care - Athena suspected it was a combination.

Athena had recognized the girl at once, of course. Doubtlessly, everyone her age did. It was Annie Cresta. Annie was one of the most popular girls in their year - in the academy in general. She was smart and capable, decently well-accomplished in everything the academy evaluated them on. She was also liked by essentially everyone she met for her outgoing, bubbly, and charming personality. Athena and Annie didn't know each other extremely well, but on the times they did meet, she found her so nice and so likeable that Athena found it hard not to like her.

Athena glanced up at Finnick subtly, curious about whether or not he recognized her at all. It had seemed a universal thing, knowing who Annie Cresta was, that she forgot that there were people outside her year who had no idea who she was. Finnick was looking at Annie Cresta with a certain amount of interest, but she couldn't detect any sort of recognition on his face.

Soon, Annie was on the stage, moving to stand beside Alayne. For a split second, Athena saw herself there again, staring out into the crowd like a deer in headlights - then she blinked and it was Annie there again. Annie who might die in that arena she so willingly and confidently walked into, Annie who Athena might not see again after these Games...

"There we are!" said Alayne cheerfully. "Why don't you tell us your name?"

"Annie Cresta," Annie said into the microphone, smiling brightly.

"Well, congratulations, Annie, on being District Four's female tribute!" said Alayne, and Annie beamed a little wider, bowing her head modestly. Playing the Capitol perfectly, no doubt.

"She won't be hard to coach," Finnick murmured thoughtfully. "At least, not when it comes to personality. She's already got them wrapped around her finger, I bet. I don't know about physical abilities, though."

"She's pretty good," Athena replied. "I've seen her train a couple times. She's got some obvious weak points, but far from a lost cause."

"And now for the boys!" Alayne said brightly, before plunging a hand into the glass ball on the left. After a few moments of swirling the ballots around dramatically, Alayne finally pulled out a ballot and read, "And the male tribute for District Four is... Kent Pike!"

Kent Pike, a lanky boy with curly brown hair, was about to step forward, looking pleased, until someone else called out loudly and casually, "I volunteer!"

The boy who said it was a little shorter and stockier than Kent. His flaming red hair was grown out, falling an inch or so above his shoulder, and his eyes were dark blue. There was a confident smirk on his freckled face as he stepped forward, seeming to ignore the dark look Kent was giving him. Athena recognized this volunteer, too; Trent Minnow. He was in her year, too, fairly popular and well-liked, mainly due to his sense of humour. He wasn't a bad fighter, either, from what Athena could tell. He bounded his way over to the stage, moving to stand on Alayne's other side.

"And your name, young man?" Alayne asked with a smile.

"Trent Minnow," said Trent, speaking into the microphone.

"What do you know about this one?" Finnick asked.

"Not a whole lot," Athena admitted. "He's really funny - not much work to do here in terms of personality. He's not a bad fighter, he'll be better than a lot of people in there, but he can use some work."

"Congratulations, Trent, on being District Four's male tribute," said Alayne with a grin, before turning back to the audience at large. The boy and girl walked onto the stage from separate sides, handing each tribute the bouquet of roses. "And there you are! Your male and female tributes for the seventieth Hunger Games!"

The applause, as always, was a little less enthusiastic than it had been initially. People were still disappointed it wasn't them on stage. They were a little more enthusiastic than they had been for Athena, though. Perhaps they thought Annie Cresta and Trent Minnow deserved it more.

Mayor Trenton took Alayne's place with a new set of cards, beginning to read off the long, dull, Treaty of Treason. The Treaty of Treason was difficult to pay attention to in the best of times; today, standing under the hot sun, during a day that Athena had always considered the most stressful of the year, made it particularly impossible, especially when she thought o the road ahead of her as a mentor. Athena stared at Annie and Trent as furtively as she could, carefully maintaining the haughty smirk and otherwise neutral expression that was always good for her when she couldn't manage much else. She wondered if they would both die in that arena. She wondered if she would be the cause of their demise, directly or indirectly. She wondered if she'd be able to help them at all, or if it was a horrible, horrible mistake for her to have become a mentor and she should have never suggested it at all - 

"... without further ado - tributes - " said Mayor Trenton, taking a step back and gesturing for the new tributes to shake hands.

Annie and Trent turned to look at each other, before shaking hands. Athena watched them do it, and for a painful moment, saw herself and Kai in those places. But these two seemed so much more confident, so much less apprehensive. Did they not fully understand what they were about to get into? Or was Athena simply too far away to see how they were really feeling?

They turned to face the crowd, still holding hands, and raised them above their heads. The audience immediately burst into thunderous applause and cheers, forgetting their disappointment to feel pride for their district. Athena and Finnick exchanged looks, before clapping along with the rest of the crowd. As soon as Annie and Trent released each other, they were being escorted into the Justice Building by the Peacekeepers. From there, Mayor Trenton gave her concluding statements, before they were free to retreat into the Justice Building.

The other victors were looking for Athena and Finnick after they had entered the Justice Building. They all exchanged slightly awkward greetings and small talk with Alayne, who had once been their escort (the only one who hadn't been awkward was Mags, who was more than familiar with Alayne after all this time), before focusing on saying their goodbyes to Athena and Finnick. Mags pulled them aside to say goodbye a little more privately.

"I guess there isn't a lot left to say that I haven't already told you," said Mags in her quiet, slightly hoarse voice. "Just... look after your tributes... look after each other..."

"We will," said Finnick immediately.

Mags nodded approvingly. "I'll be rooting for all of you and waiting for you to come back."

"Athena."

The three of them all looked round. Her mother and Calypso were all standing at the other end of the hall, huddled closely together, as though they were afraid that they were intruding. Athena wanted desperately to be with them, but found herself sad at the prospect of leaving Mags so soon.

"Go," whispered Mags. "You should be with them as long as you can."

Athena looked over at Mags, biting her lip, before nodding once. "If I don't see you again, Mags - "

But Mags had already engulfed her in a hug, murmuring that she already understood. Athena supposed she did. Mags carded a finger gently through her hair while they hugged, and murmured, "Remember not to blame yourself... no matter what happens... this suffering isn't you fault..."

Athena and Mags pulled away after that. Athena looked at Mags in surprise for a moment, before nodding once, both grim yet grateful to her. She gave Finnick a short nod, indicating she'd see him soon, and walked over to her mother and sister.

She took both of their hands in hers, and lead them away until she found some old storage unit where she figured they could be alone for the time that they had. Mainly, it was Athena who talked. There wasn't much for them to say from their end; Athena wasn't in the immediate danger she had been in this time a year ago. It was odd, the idea that she would be getting on the train for the Hunger Games with the full knowledge that she would be coming back. That it wasn't herself that she had to be worried about anymore. Granted, Athena would be in an entirely different kind of danger in the Capitol, but that was something she did not talk about with her mother and sister. When it came to that, the less they knew, the better. And she had much to worry about when it came to her mother and Calypso. Last time she had left for the Hunger Games, she returned to the news of her father's death, and it terrified her to be away from them for too long now.

"And I know Mags will be around to check up on you, but take care of yourselves," Athena was saying. "Take care of each other. Please."

"I could say the same for you, out there in the Capitol," her mother murmured, stroking her hair idly.

"I'll be okay, they all love me out there," Athena murmured.  _And as long as I do whatever Snow wants me to do..._ she thought, but only said, "And I'm smart. That's all I really need to be as a mentor. Besides, I'll be with Finnick."

"We're pretty smart, too, you know," Calypso pointed out.

Athena smiled a little sheepishly. "I know. Yeah, I know you are. Sorry. I just worry..."

"We worry too," said her mother. "But we'll be alright... you'll come back in a few weeks, and we'll be here waiting for you... that's how it's gonna be, Thena, I promise."

And Athena knew it wasn't something any of them could truly guarantee, but she allowed herself to believe it anyway. It was far too soon that someone knocked on the door and Finnick was there, flanked by several Peacekeepers, telling her with an apologetic look on his face that they had to go. Athena, Calypso, and their mother all knew better than to ask for more time.

Athena bent down to hug Calypso so tightly it might be as though Athena was scared she would disappear - which, in truth, she was.

"You're going to be the best mentor ever," Calypso said very seriously. "I'll be anything."

Athena thought about Annie Cresta and Trent Minnow, about how they were now her responsibility, about how she might end up being the cause of their deaths, and forced herself to smile, anyway. "Thank you, Lypso. Your support's all I need."

Her mother hugged her so tightly one would think Athena was going in the arena a second time. She didn't say much except whisper, "Be safe," in her ear.

"You too," Athena murmured back.

When they pulled away, Athena took their hands in hers. "I love you both."

"I love you, too," they said in unison.

Athena gave their hands one last squeeze, smiling bracingly at them, before releasing them reluctantly. She looked at them, drinking in every detail of their faces (she couldn't help it, couldn't help being afraid that she might not see them again), before moving towards Finnick and the Peacekeepers.

It was just Athena and Finnick in the backseat of the slightly cramped car on the way to the train station, while the Peacekeepers were in the front seat. Neither of them talked the whole way to the station. At some point, however, Finnick placed a hand in the empty space between them. Athena, immediately understanding the invitation, took his hand in hers, interlocking their fingers. She closed her eyes so that she couldn't see the streets of District Four passing by through the window and focused only on the feeling of the warmth of his hands in hers. She felt momentarily at peace. It was a dangerous thing, she knew, these moments with Finnick, but it was so easy to forget sometimes. It didn't feel dangerous.  _He_ didn't feel dangerous. He felt like one of the least dangerous things there was in her life.

Once they were at the station, as Athena was expecting, there were camera crews waiting for them. Athena managed to plaster on a bright, winning smile and enthusiastic waves to the cameras, while Finnick stuck to his usual casual, charming smirk that always managed to make people swoon over him. They were made to pose for several minutes in front of the tribute train doors, until the camera people finally seemed to get enough shots and they were allowed into the sanctuary of the train. Finnick turned to Athena.

"We don't have to do anything for over an hour," he said. "That's when we'll be meeting the tributes - well, you already know them, but... anyway, we can do what we want in the meantime."

Athena's chambers were the closest, so they went there. Athena sat down cross-legged on her bed, and Finnick settled himself comfortable on the bed, placing his head in her lap. Athena said nothing of it, mostly because she didn't want to give away how much the action pleased her. Athena looked out the window, which provided a view of District Four's small but pristine station. She looked at the walls of the train that would soon take her away from her home again. A few moments later, the train took off suddenly at its usual surprising speed. They both jumped a little, startled.

"They're here, clearly," Finnick said, breaking the silence, and Athena looked over at him to find him staring up at her. "We should go over the plan. You know, what we're going to do when we meet them."

"Right," Athena said. "Do you want to do that thing you and Mags did where you waited for us to bring up the Games before talking about it?"

"I think it was a lot of value," said Finnick. "Tributes need to learn to step up if they want to survive, you know that." Athena only looked down at him with raised eyebrows. "Are you  _still_ mad at me for doing that to you and Kai?"

"You called us cowards!" Athena protested. "And you kept saying I was staring at you."

"That's because you were staring at me, Wise One," said Finnick easily. "And I only implied that you were a coward. I didn't know you then! And you can't act like it didn't have any impact."

Athena only said, after a moment of hesitation, "Fine. We can keep doing it, then. But I think we should be the ones to get the tributes for supper. I think it'll make an impression."

"Okay," said Finnick with a nod. "You get Annie, I'll get Trent?"

"Sounds like a plan," Athena said, nodding.

"Then it'll be supper," Finnick said. "And then whenever they bring up the Games, we can start talking... and then we'll watch the recap and get an idea of their competition."

"I think you should do that 'everyone's your biggest threat' thing again," Athena said. "The effect was nice."

"You think so?" Finnick said, looking up at her with raised eyebrows and a slight smirk. "In that case, I'll make a point of it. And then we'll size them up, ask a few questions, get a few ideas of what they're like. You already know them, but not that well, I'm assuming...?"

Athena shook her head. "No. I mean, I can tell you a few things about them already... Annie's really funny and bubbly and likeable, and she's good at fighting - not the greatest, though, she could use some work. She's really good with knives and decent with a spear. Trent's really funny and approachable. He's a pretty good fighter, too, but there's still definitely room for improvement. He's good at hand-to-hand and alright with a trident, but anything that showcases his strength is what's good for him."

Finnick nodded slowly, having listened to every word carefully. His brow was slightly furrowed, and he looked deep in thought. "Good to know. Still, we should see what they have to say. Some tributes have too much of an ego. They overestimate their abilities. you and Kai were pretty self aware, but who knows what these two'll say."

Athena considered this. She knew it was a possibility. Arrogance was far from a rare trait among students in the academy, and it tended to be the downfall of Career tributes. Annie and Trent didn't seem like the type of people to overestimate their abilities too much, though; they seemed like the type to become victors. Then again, though, Dory Ermin had always seemed the type to win the Games; everyone had been so certain of her victory, and yet she had still be strangled to death before it could come to her. And she didn't know Annie or Trent very well at all; they might have very well had an ego of which she was unaware.

"Are you ready?" Finnick asked suddenly, reaching up to tuck away loose strands of hair. Her hair was no longer as put together as it had been before. She undid the braids in her hair and let it fall loose, while he watched.

Athena shrugged as she did, saying, "Ready as I'll ever be. I just don't know how they're going to react to me. I mean, I know I'm a victor, but I used to be classmates with them. Are they really going to listen to me at all?"

"I felt the same way, but they do," Finnick said. "Trust me. I mean, you're only a year younger than me, but you still listened to me - even though you never wanted to admit it."

Athena smiled sheepishly. "That's different. You're this legend in Panem. I'm - "

"You're a way bigger deal to people than you think you are," Finnick said firmly. "Believe me. Anyway, if they have any sense, they'll listen to you. You have experience with the Games firsthand and you're smart. They'd be stupid not to take you seriously, and I'll be sure to let them know."

"How sweet of you," Athena said lightly, raising her eyebrows.

"All for you," Finnick said with a wink.

Athena grinned and was about to reply, when there was a knock on the door, and Alayne was walking inside. For a moment, she just stared at them, and Athena supposed she could understand where her shock was coming from; Finnick still had his head in her lap and hadn't moved his hand from her hair, curling a strand around his finger. It wasn't a regular sort of sight for Alayne. She recovered quickly enough, though, saying, "You two certainly look comfortable, but it's supper. I can go get Annie and Trent - "

"Oh, actually, Alayne, Finnick and I can do it," Athena said hurriedly; she wanted to move and stand up, but Finnick's head was still in her lap. "We think it might be good if we interact with them more from early on."

Alayne nodded once, rather stiffly. "Very well, then. Just hurry along!"

With that, she moved out of the room, closing the door behind her. Athena looked down at Finnick. "You could've moved."

"Why?" he asked. "Moving implies we did something wrong. We didn't."

"But we talked about how it's - it's dangerous - "

"I'm well aware of my limits, Athena," Finnick said in a tight, strangled voice that made her regret scolding him. "Trust me, I am. But this isn't it. It doesn't have to be it, I mean." He moved at last, sitting upright so that their faces were level and closer together than altogether necessary. "This is only dangerous if we make it something dangerous."

Athena looked at him, her heart racing in her chest for reasons she could not entirely explain (or more likely, she knew, she did not  _want_ to explain, even to herself), mesmerized. She tried not to think about how close his lips were to hers. She tried not to think about how, from this minimal distance, she could see all the details of his face and he was more handsome, much more so, than all the drawings and painting she did where she tried to replicate his beauty. Instead, she whispered, "We should go. You know, before - before Alayne comes breaking down the door."

"You're right," Finnick murmured, but it seemed to take him a few moments for the words to really register and for him to remember to spring to action. He moved away from her, looking away from her. "You're right. Come on."

So shrugging that last moment off the way they knew they had to, they stood up and walked out of Athena's chambers, where they parted ways - Athena to find Annie, Finnick to find Trent. Annie wasn't in her chambers, but she wasn't very far off, wandering in one of the corridors nearby. She whipped around at the sound of Athena's footsteps.

"Athena!"

Annie seemed to shrink back for a moment, with an expression of what Athena could've sworn was intimidation, and Athena remembered Finnick's words about how she was a bigger deal than she thought, remembered how people took her much more seriously since her victory. There really was no reason why these tributes would be any different. In a second, though, the look of intimidation was gone and she was smiling at Athena.

"This place is amazing, isn't it?" said Annie.

Athena knew Annie well enough to know that her family was rich. Still, even the richest of District Four had probably never experienced the luxury of the Capitol.

"It's insane," was all Athena said, nodding once. "Wait until we get to the Capitol. You'll lose your mind. Anyway, it's supper. Follow me."

Annie only nodded, following Athena to the dining car. Athena looked at her out of the corner of her eye, as subtly as she could, trying to gauge her emotions. Was she nervous? Was she scared? Did she realise there were twenty-three children standing between her and her survival? She must, right? Yet she didn't look it. She was a little shyer and more reserved than usual, undoubtedly due to the new environment, but that seemed to be the only difference. That was the thing about other Careers that she could never understand, this unfeeling way they looked at the Games, as though they wouldn't be staring death in the face in the arena...

"I hope the food's as good as they say it is," Annie said idly, looking around as they walked through the slightly cramped hallway.

"It's better."

Annie grinned. "I feel like we should take some credit for that. I mean, it's District Four sending them all that seafood. Look at you - you're one of the hard-working souls that work on those boats."

This felt odd, talking with Annie about home like this, but Athena only said, "I've never considered it work. I mean, it's hard, but I've always enjoyed it. I just like being on the ocean."

"Mhmm, can't blame you for that," Annie said.

Athena and Annie arrived just before Finnick and Trent. Alayne was already there, sitting at the head of the table where Mags once sat. Athena didn't like it one bit, and one shared glance with Finnick told her he didn't either, but neither of them said anything. What could they say, really? They simply sat beside each other quietly, while Annie and Trent sat across from them.

Most of the conversation was about the food. Alayne talked a little about her life, all that had been happening in the Capitol. Athena, Finnick, and even Alayne (who Athena supposed must be aware of the strategy at this point) all didn't speak a word about the Games. Annie and Trent talked a little, but not very much, and Athena got the impression that they were much more intimidated than they tried to act. Annie stared at Finnick a lot, Athena noticed. It bothered her. She didn't know why. Finnick seemed to notice it, too. He smirked, but made nothing else of it.

Once they had moved onto dessert, Annie finally said, clearing her throat, "This is great and all, but - uh - are we going to talk about the Games any time soon?"

Finnick shot Athena a meaningful glance, looking impressed. "Not bad. Faster than you were."

"Shut up," Athena said tensely, and Finnick laughed.

"Wait, what's going on here?" said Trent, but Athena got the impression he already had an idea.

"I think I know," Annie said, frowning. "You mean this whole time, you were just waiting for us to say something?"

"Yes," said Finnick, in his usual shameless manner. "You could've been much faster, but it's been worse. There was this one year where the tributes waited two hours after dinner before finally saying something."

"Well, if we'd know that, we would've said something a long time ago!" Trent said, looking upset.

"That's the point," said Finnick matter-of-factly. "This is the first way we can get an idea of how much you want to survive, how brave you are. You think you're going to always know what's going on in the arena? You have to have the bravery and the initiative to make the first move, anyway."

"We're plenty brave!" Annie protested.

"Well, you'll have to prove that," Finnick said. "That wasn't a bad start. You'll have to do better, though."

Annie opened her mouth to protest, but Athena cut in, saying, "Look, you've passed his first test. Maybe not with flying colours, but it'll do for now. Now can we move forward - I mean, unless you don't want to see what your competition is going to be like...?" Immediately, Annie and Trent sat up straighter, looking more alert. "That's what I thought. Follow me, then."

Athena jumped to her feet, and the others stood as well. Athena and Finnick led the way to the compartment with the television, walking a little ahead of everyone else.

"I remember you being a lot more annoying with me and Kai," Athena murmured.

Finnick grinned at her. "Ah, you two were just easy to wind up. You were different. I might change it up with them."

"You're the worst," said Athena, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. Finnick laughed, and they walked the rest of the way in comfortable silence.

Once they reached the compartment, everyone settled onto the sofas while Alayne turned on the recap of the Reaping. Everyone was silent, paying careful attention as the tributes from each district took to the stage. Annie and Trent got positive comments from the commentators, which was good. If people already liked them, that means they had a head start. It reminded Athena of how the commentators had mocked her for her obvious fear at her Reaping. Practically nobody had expected her to win, and yet here she was. Most people had expected Kai to win, and yet he was... but no, that was a door she could not open. Not now.

There were some clear threats among those who had been Reaped. The Career tributes from Districts One and Two looked as deadly as usual. There was the boy from District Seven, big and beefy and scowling. There was the girl from District Ten, clearly a little nervous but tall and muscular. There were the solemn-faced tributes of District Eleven, scared but strong-looking. Still, she knew any one of them could be as dangerous as the last. And now it was her job to make sure they all died and either Annie or Trent didn't.

After the recap was over, Athena and Finnick exchanged looks and got to their feet, moving to stand in front of their new tributes.

"So," Athena said, clapping her hands together. "Time for the second test."

She looked over expectantly at Finnick, who said promptly, "Who do you think your biggest threat is?"

Annie and Trent exchanged looks, clearly alarmed at being questioned so soon by their mentors. There was a moment while they tried to think of an answer and Athena and Finnick observed them carefully.

Finally, Annie said, "Well, the other Careers - from One and Two - are gonna be the toughest to beat."

The typical response, Athena guessed, remembering how Kai had said the same thing last year, and not for no reason. All they were ever taught in the academy was that Career tributes were the smartest, strongest, and deadliest tributes every year. It seemed logical that they would be considered the biggest threat.

"That doesn't make them your biggest threat," Finnick said, just as he had last year. "Come on, who's your biggest threat? Think about this."

Annie and Trent exchanged uncertain looks, before the latter said uncertainly, "Um - the tributes from Eleven looked pretty tough? And so did the boy from Seven, I guess."

Finnick gave Athena a sideways glance. "The academy never changes, huh?" And before anyone could react, turned to the two tributes. "Look, you guys brought up good points, but it still doesn't answer the question. The fact is, you're biggest threat is all of them. Everyone you just saw on screen was your biggest threat. Even the weak-looking ones, even the ones that were crying. You never know; they could've been pretending to look weak and unassuming to get you to lower your defenses around them. And don't ever underestimate what a person can do when they're scared and desperate and their back's against the wall. That's one thing that's sure to get you killed. Everyone in there is just as likely to kill you as the next. You don't trust anyone."

Athena noted that Annie and Trent were exchanging intimidated but impressed glances. Annie looked back at them, frowning a little, and said, "Well, how are we supposed to form alliances, then? If you can't trust anyone, how are we supposed to have allies?"

"You shouldn't base your alliances on trust," Finnick replied. "It's about what a person can offer you, what they can do to help you move forward and if that's worth the risk. It's not about trust. But we'll talk alliances later. You," Finnick pointed at Trent, who straightened up immediately, simultaneously nervous and excited, "stand up."

Trent did as he was told, standing a few feet in front of Athena and Finnick. Athena examined Trent more closely than she'd ever done. It was obvious from his stocky build and his muscles that he had strength on his side; it would just come down to whether or not he could hone his skills in a little more. And it would be his skills that saved him; he was fairly fast, but speed and agility were not his strong suit, so he needed to become a little more competent. He was fairly good-looking, too, luckily. The only real flaw she could find was the jagged scar on his throat (it was from a sparring session gone wrong, Athena was there for it, everyone in her year all swore he was going to die), but she knew that the prep team and stylists would make sure that was covered up for the cameras.

"You're pretty good-looking," said Finnick, saying what she was thinking. "And the stylists will be able to fix you up real nice. You'll get a whole prep team to beautify you, you'll be a sight for sore eyes after that. But that's not all that's important. What are some of your strengths and weaknesses?"

"I'm strong," he said immediately. "Hand-to-hand combat has always been my speciality. I'm not too bad with a trident, either. And I've always been good with survival skills. As for weaknesses... besides a trident, I'm not that great with other weapons, so unless my opponent is in close range, I might be in some trouble. I'm also not very fast, either..."

"You'll have to work on that," Athena said thoughtfully. "Or people will take advantage of that and make sure you never get in close range."

"Exactly," Finnick said approvingly, nodding at Athena. "And you'll have to work on speed in that case, too. Strength is good - really good - but it doesn't mean anything when someone's twenty feet away and is aiming an arrow at your chest."

After asking Trent a few more questions, where he showcased his usual approachable, humorous personality, he sat back down and Finnick asked Annie to stand. Annie did as she was told, standing in front of Athena and Finnick. She really was so pretty, pale skin and flowing dark hair and wide, sea green eyes. She stood like she was very apprehensive but trying her hardest not to show it. She could use some work with her fighting, she knew, but there was potential there. Besides, there wouldn't be a problem with getting people to like her, either, likeable as she was.

"You are very pretty," Finnick commented, which bothered Athena for some reason, though it was very clearly true. "Your prep team and stylist's going to have an easy time with you."

"I'm glad they're going to have fun, then," Annie said drily. "I might die, but at least someone got to enjoy themselves."

Athena bit back a laugh, and Finnick cracked a smile. "Okay, then - strengths and weaknesses?"

"I'm fast," Annie said. "Good at quick-thinking. I'm a pretty good fighter - I know I can improve, though. I'm good with knives and okay with a spear. As for weaknesses... survival skills have never been my speciality. I'm also - I'm not weak, per se, I'm decently strong, but also..." Annie flexed in a way that showed off muscles that were practically nonexistent. "So, there's that, too."

"There's not that much you can do for strength in four days," Finnick pointed out, frowning slightly. "But it's better than nothing. You'll just have to put a lot of focus on that. You'll also have to hone in your skills with weapons. But if you're as fast as you say you are, it might not be much of a problem."

"Survival skills is a big one, though," Athena said thoughtfully. "Stuff like infection and dehydration is just as deadly as any of those tributes in there. I'd focus on that, too."

Annie nodded. "I'll keep a note of it."

Again, Athena and Finnick spent some time questioning her, allowing her to showcase more of her personality, before they finished with her, too. Afterwards, Finnick looked at them, clapping his hands together and saying, "I think that'll do for the night. You'll have a big day tomorrow, with meeting your stylists and the opening ceremonies and everything, and you'll be waking up early enough as it is. Make sure you get some rest."

Alayne, right on cue, stood up to lead Annie and Trent out of the room, and they followed her out wordlessly. Once they were gone and the door had slid shut behind them, Athena and Finnick exchanged looks, before sitting back on their old seats on the sofa.

Athena looked over at Finnick curiously, asking, "So? What do you think?"

Finnick was silent for a moment, thinking it over, before saying, "Not bad. We're definitely going to need to focus on fighting and actual skills with them. What do you think?"

"I agree," Athena nodded. "I think we're at a bit of an advantage in a sense, since I knew them personally in school... I can think of stuff specifically that they need to hone in on. That'll make things easier."

"That'll be useful," Finnick agreed. "And the interview and getting them sponsors and everything will be a breeze. They look like the easiest to work with in terms of personality that I've seen in a while - maybe ever."

"Yeah, not nearly as hostile as I was last year, I bet," Athena commented drily.

Finnick laughed and said, "It's hard to reach that level of hostility, Maris."

She had to laugh with him at that one. When the sound of his laughter died down, Athena looked over at him and realized he was staring at her.

"What?" she demanded. When he said nothing, simply looking at her with a vague little smile on his face, she said again, feeling her face heat up, "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"A year," he said simply. "We've known each other for a year today."

Athena blinked, realizing with a jolt that he was right. It hadn't even registered in her mind until then, but it was true. A year ago today she was Reaped, which meant a year ago today, she met Finnick and Mags for the first time.

"A year," she repeated. "It feels longer than that."

Which was true. When she thought about it, she and Finnick hadn't really known each other for all that long, but it felt like she had known him for her whole life. Her memories felt like his, his felt like hers, and any time that they didn't know each other didn't seem to exist anymore.

"Look how far we've come," he said, a little teasingly. "We've gone from you insulting me to - "

"Me still insulting you?" Athena cut in, grinning.

"But doing it with love," he said, his smile widening.

Athena paused, before saying, "Yeah. Something like that." There was another pause as they stared at each other, before Athena forced herself out of her stupor. She leapt to her feet. "We should get to bed. It'll be a busy day for us too, to an extent. Gotta be well-rested."

"Good point," Finnick said, standing up himself.

They went their separate ways as they each went to their own chambers (Athena passed Alayne on the way there, who gave her an approving nod and smile at the sight that she was turning in early), but it wasn't long after Athena had gotten ready for bed and was burrowed under the covers that there was a knock on her door.

Though she already had a very good idea of who it was, she called out, just to be safe, "Who is it?"

"Finnick."

Without hesitating, already knowing why he was there and secretly thrilled for it, she said, "Well, come in, then."

The door slid open and Finnick stepped into the room, dressed for bed but looking like he hadn't slept much at all. Athena sat up a little bit, propping herself up on her elbows. For a moment, they just looked at each other, before Finnick spoke.

"Trouble sleeping. Do you mind if I - ?"

"Oh, just come here," Athena said, seeing no point in the pretence and already wanting him beside her under the covers. Finnick smiled at the response.

Athena shifted over in the bed, moving back the covers so that he could crawl under and pull it over them.

"Can I move closer?" he asked quietly.

Athena nodded, already telling herself that this was harmless, this was just a way for them to get through the nightmares that plagued them, that Finnick had no one when he wasn't on this train, living in his big house all alone - really, this was just being a good friend. She asked, "Can I put an arm around you?" and as he nodded, reminded herself of what he said, that was long as they didn't cross any lines...

_"This is only dangerous if we make it something dangerous."_

Soon, they were curled close together under the covers. Her head was on his chest, and she could hear the steady beat of his heart. Their breaths, at some point, became in sync. She had an arm around him, and both of his arms were wrapped around her, his hands making shapes along her back and her arms. They would have to wake up earlier than everyone else; Mags wasn't there to cover for them anymore, and if Alayne burst into the room and saw them there...

_"This is only dangerous if we make it something dangerous."_

Reality would come for them tomorrow, of course. They knew it even as they lay there in each other's arms, on the brink of sleep. Reality would hit them hard and show no mercy. Tomorrow they would continue as mentors, training teenagers her age for what might be their deaths. The days that would come would bring not only responsibilities as mentors, but responsibilities as victors; as in interviews, magazine photo-shoots, parties, all things done to please the Capitol. Finnick would be forced to take more lovers, anyone who had gotten President Snow's favour or had been the highest bidder... Athena would be under constant risk of having to undergo the same thing... a never-ending game of fear and manipulation, one where a reality they might want - one where shared glances and beds were not a risk - was too far away to ever be considered plausible...

_"This is only dangerous if we make it something dangerous."_

But that was the days to come, so for now, Athena just curled in closer to Finnick. As they both drifted off to sleep, Athena thought idly of their future as co-mentors and friends and nothing more. After all, this was only as dangerous as they made it, and they both had enough danger to be getting on with already.


	29. XXIX

**XXIX**

 

Just as they needed to, they woke up earlier than everyone else. It was still dark out when Athena woke up, still in Finnick's arms. She shifted a little in the spot, closing her eyes again, which seemed to stir Finnick as well. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them opened their eyes. They just stayed where they were, curled together, pretending to sleep, trying to put off the inevitable for just a little longer... still, eventually, Athena opened her eyes a little and looked out the window to see that the sky was beginning to lighten considerably. The sun would rise soon, and they would have to rise with it; if nothing else, the last thing they needed was Alayne walking in on them again, especially in a position like this.

She opened her eyes wider and looked over at Finnick. Her head was on his chest, so she had to look up at him. "Finnick. Finnick, come on, don't pretend with me, I know you're awake."

His eyes opened slowly, looking down at her. He looked a little groggy. His hair was messed up from sleep, and Athena had to smile a little; he tended to sport a perfectly crafted messy look, but this was fay beyond that point. She reached forward and smoothed down some of the hairs that were sticking straight up. She could feel him relax under her fingers at the touch. She smiled a little wider at the feeling, but then made herself stop abruptly. They had to forge on ahead.

"We should get up," she murmured.

"We should," he agreed.

But it was still several minutes before they finally detached from each other and got to their feet. Athena tried to ignore how much colder she suddenly felt. Finnick crept over to the door and cracked it open just slightly, peering through.

"Okay," he said quietly. "No one's there." He looked over at Athena, nodded at her once. "See you at breakfast."

"Yeah, see you."

Finnick slid the door open wide enough to squeeze through, and soon disappeared, the door sliding shut behind him. Athena, without much left to do, got ready for the day. She made sure she looked nice - she knew that when they pulled into the Capitol train station, while the main focus would not be on her and Finnick, there would be pictures taken of them. She still wasn't overly concerned about her appearance, though; Annie and Trent would get pretty much all of the attention, and the District Four stylists would be changing her appearance when they were in the Remake Center. There would be a party in President Snow's mansion later, in the hours leading up to the opening ceremonies; all the mentors, the Capitol escorts, the Gamemakers, and the Capitol's richest citizens, would all be in attendance. The event was televised to bring about more excitement for the Opening Ceremonies, but for the mentors, this was all about promoting their tributes, bringing about the beginnings of sponsorships. In the hours that the prep team prepared the tributes, the stylists would ready the mentors for the event. Athena didn't see any point in doing anything too drastic with her appearance when Tatiana or Syrio would be changing it all soon.

When she was finished getting dressed, she walked over to the dining car. Only Alayne was there.

"Where's everyone else?" Athena asked.

"Finnick went to wake Annie and Trent," Alayne replied. "I think he went to wake Annie first."

"Okay," said Athena. "I'll go wake up Trent, then. Save everyone some time."

When Athena knocked on the door to Trent's chambers, he answered immediately, giving Athena the distinct impression he had been awake for some time. He opened the door, already dressed and looking distinctly unrested. She raised her eyebrows a little, but said nothing of it.

"Breakfast," she said.

"Okay," he said. "Will we be in the Capitol soon?"

Athena looked out the window, at the slowly rising sun. "Yeah. By the end of breakfast, probably. There's going to be cameras to take pictures of you, so make sure you're looking pretty. That outfit's fine, but the hair - " she nodded at the mop of messy red hair on his head - "might need a little work."

A hand jumped to his hair, smoothing it down idly and looking sheepish. "Yeah - yeah, I'll work on that. One second."

Trent walked away, disappearing for a few moments, before returning with perfectly combed, neat hair. "Better?"

Athena stared at him thoughtfully for a moment. "Better, but it's - it's almost  _too_ \- here - " she held up her hands, stretching them out slightly - "may I?"

"Yeah, go for it," Trent said immediately, taking a step towards her.

He was a little taller than her, so Athena had to go up on tiptoe as she reached forward and mussed up his hair a little, so that it looked more windswept. Satisfied, she stepped away, her heels touching the floor again. "There. Now you're good."

Trent smiled sheepishly. "Thanks."

"What are mentors for?" she said idly; maybe if she said that she was a mentor out loud enough times, she would actually feel like one. "Now follow me."

She led the way over to the dining car. Alayne was still seated at the head of the table, and Finnick and Annie had already arrived, sitting across from each other. Athena sat down beside Finnick, and Trent beside Annie. Athena and Finnick both luckily remembered how to act like they hadn't slept together.

Once everyone was settled and eating, Finnick said, "So, we'll be at the Capitol soon. Lots of people are going to be out there waiting for you, and there'll be cameras too. They're going to want a glimpse of you to get people more excited for the opening ceremonies. So you two are going to need to be all charm and smiles the moment we reach the Capitol. You need to be cool and confident, like you were born for this and you know it. Make them like you, but intimidate them a little if you can."

Once both Annie and Trent had nodded, Finnick continued, "From there, you'll be at the mercy of your stylists. They're not very creative with what they do, they never do anything all that different, but the Capitol always eats it up, so no harm, no foul. You might not like some of the things they do to you, but just go with it. Don't resist, don't argue. Let them do what they want them to do."

Annie and Trent exchanged anxious looks, before the former said cautiously, "So... when you say we won't like some of the things they do... what things are you talking about, exactly? I'd like specifics."

"Me too," Trent piped up. "This sounds worrying."

"It doesn't matter," Finnick said, "because you're going to let them do what they want."

"Listen to Finnick," said Athena, before Annie or Trent could argue, a sentence that seemed to surprise both Finnick and Alayne. "What they do to you might be a little new to you, but they do know what they're talking about. And your prep team's nice enough."

That seemed to reassure Annie and Trent enough to stop them from arguing any further. Athena and Finnick exchanged looks.

"Thanks," he signed.

She had to bite back a grin, signing back, "It's what co-mentors are for."

They went under another tunnel, plunging them into darkness so that it might have been night again. This was the tunnel that ran through the mountain and into the Capitol. They were almost there. The thought didn't excite her very much. Still, she pressed through it as she and Finnick continued talking about the Games, listing off advice. Finally, though, they left the tunnel and Athena felt privately relieved. At the same moment, Annie and Trent leapt out of their seats and ran over to the window, apparently unable to resist getting a look at Panem's ruling city. Athena couldn't blame them; despite the undeniably artificial quality to the whole city, it was beautiful. She saw herself and Kai in their awed expression, remembered painfully that he had gone from shining and golden and lively to wasted and dead, and wondered how she would be able to stand to watch the same happen to either of these two tributes.

She felt a familiar, warm hand on top of hers, looked down, and saw Finnick had taken her hand subtly under the table. Her gaze flickered over to him and saw that he was giving her a reassuring look that managed to ground her. She glanced over at the others gathered in the dining car; Annie's and Trent's eyes were still glued to the window, staring at the rapidly approaching city, and Alayne was watching them with a smile, like she was pleased that the tributes were so impressed by her home. Nobody noticed Athena's and Finnick's joined hands. Athena turned her palm over subtly and laced hers and Finnick's fingers together. Finnick rubbed the back of her hand idly with his thumb, and Athena had to smile faintly. At the very least, she would not be alone.

 

*

 

"Oh, come on now, Athena, that can't be all there is to say about them! I want  _details!_ "

Athena was in a room in the Remake Center. Tatiana was there with her, preparing her for the party that was now less than an hour away. She had already dressed her and done her hair and makeup; now she was only working on the finishing touches. The white room, brightly lit by fluorescent lights, was empty except for a metal table that she had been lying on previously while Tatiana prepped her and a large mirror. Since it was the Games again, Tatiana and Syrio apparently saw it fit to impress upon the District Four theme in a way they hadn't really done as much during her Victory Tour. Athena was dressed in a light blue, sheer floor-length skirt, along with a matching top with thin straps that showed her midriff. The material was rather transparent but loose-fitting, and the scaled designed on the fabrics were clearly meant to pay homage to the mermaid look that the Capitol had gone crazy for last year, as was the circlet embedded with seashells on her head. Her hair was left in its typical curly state. Her makeup was silvery and blue to match the outfit.

Tatiana apparently always styled more personally for the female tribute, while Syrio always focused on the male tribute, but, as she told Athena, they alternated between which mentor they focused on personally. Tatiana had focused on Finnick last year, so now it made sense that she focused on Athena - and, supposedly, Tatiana had insisted on having Athena for herself this year "for old time's sake." Now, she was desperate to know everything there was to know about Annie and Trent.

"I don't know what other details you want," Athena said, while Tatiana fixed her hair and adjusted the circlet carefully. "I've told you what they look like - as if you didn't see them on television - and I told you what they're like."

"You told me about tribute stuff," Tatiana replied. "Which is fine and well for you as a mentor, but I'm a stylist. That's not my domain."

 _Right_ , Athena thought bitterly.  _Forgot you'll never actually have to worry about any of this in your life._

"I mean, come on," Tatiana said, adjusting Athena's makeup now. "You must've gone to school with them, right? There's got to be more you can tell me."

"Okay," said Athena. "Well, they're both nice and approachable enough. Trent's really funny and pretty smart. Annie's bubbly and sort of charming, in a way, and they're both really likeable."

Tatiana looked a little more satisfied with this answer. "Do you think they'll like the idea me and Syrio have for the opening ceremonies?"

Athena had to think about it. Tatiana had talked all about the look she and Syrio had planned for the opening ceremonies, even showing her the actual outfits themselves. The outfits planned for Annie and Trent would make them resemble ocean waves, wearing flowing blue fabrics and capes that would act exactly like ocean waves when they caught the wind. It was the sort of thing the Capitol would love, Athena knew, and the outfits were tame enough that she didn't think Annie or Trent would be too uncomfortable.

"They'll learn to love it, if they don't right away," Athena said finally. "At least, they'll realize you two are the best ones for the job."

Tatiana looked pleased by her answer. "You're sweet. And all ready to go, as a matter of fact. Just walk around a little bit, make sure everything fits and feels good. I mean, besides dancing, you won't have to move around a lot where you're going, but still."

Something about the comment made Athena feel more trapped than usual, but she made no comment about it. Instead, she just walked around the room (she noted she was completely used to walking around in high heels), swinging her arms around and making sure everything fit. Just as Athena told Tatiana that everything was fine, the door that was hidden in the wall slid open, revealing Finnick, followed by Alayne and Syrio. Finnick was dressed in a darker blue than her, but the button-up shirt he wore under a navy blue jacket was the same sheer, transparent material as her outfit. He looked her up and down, evidently taking in her appearance as she took in his. Their eyes met and they nodded at each other. Athena found she felt better now that he was there.

"Looks like we came at a good time," Finnick said, running a hand through already perfectly tousled hair. "Ready to go?"

Athena looked over at Tatiana, who gave an approving nod. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Athena, Finnick, and Alayne were driven to President Snow's mansion by two Peacekeepers in a car with tinted windows. Similar to the party during her Victory Tour, there were guests waiting to catch a glimpse of the mentors as they arrived, as well as people with cameras to film it and take pictures. Alayne led the way to the mansion, as crowds parted to let them pass. People reached out and touched Athena and Finnick alike. Athena was getting better at acting like it didn't bother her, like it delighted and flattered her. Still, she was relieved when they entered the mansion to the sound of loud music.

The banquet room had been decorated for this party, as well, but it had been decorated this time with gold. Gold chandeliers, gold gilded furniture, gold lights flashing about the room. Tables laden with food lined the walls on this occasion too, but not as much as there had been during the party on her Victory Tour. Once again, there was a space set aside for a dance floor, and a stage for performers to come and go. It was the sort of party where Athena would've tried to retreat into a corner and hide away as much as she could, but this was about arousing the interest of sponsors for their tributes. She'd have to talk to a lot of important people, and she would have to be as charming as possible.

"So, how do we want to tackle this?" Alayne said, grabbing them each a glass of champagne from a nearby server. "Divide and conquer?"

"As always," Finnick said with a nod. "But I'll stick with Athena." He turned to her, saying. "It's your first year doing this, it might help if you have someone showing you the ropes. Mags did the same thing for me."

"Sounds good to me," Athena said, relieved.

"Alright, I'll take the west wing, you two take the east, and we'll regroup in time for the opening ceremonies," Alayne said. "How does that sound?"

Athena and Finnick both murmured their assent, and soon they had split off in two directions, talking to and laughing with and charming rich Capitol socialites while praising their new tributes. Athena soon realized that they were at a bit of an advantage. Athena was the most recent victor and a new mentor, making her the most interesting of all the mentors there. As such, people flocked towards her and were more willing to listen to her, meaning they had a much easier time promoting their tributes. Finnick's continued popularity also helped in this sense. It wasn't that hard to do, really. Every encounter followed the same format. They would approach and greet sponsors. They would allow them to introduce themselves. They would thank them as they gushed over how wonderful they looked and shower them with compliment of their own. They would listen attentively as rich Capitol citizens talked about their lives. They would laugh at unfunny jokes, dance with whoever asked whenever they asked, and praise their tributes whenever there was an opening for it. The process would repeat itself for all the sponsors with whom they interacted.

It was while Athena and Finnick were standing amid a group of potential sponsors, laughing at a relatively unfunny comment one of them had made, that Athena felt Finnick move closer and press his arm against her lightly, subtly, quickly. Athena glanced sideways over at him, raising her eyebrows slightly.

"On your left," he signed subtly. "Tall man, red hair, blue eyes. Big sponsor. He's hard to win over, though. It'll be good to have him on our side."

Athena's eyes scanned the hall discreetly, trying to find the man he was describing. It took her some time, but only because she had been looking for someone with natural ginger hair (she didn't really know why, in hindsight; the Capitol dealt in the artificial). The man in question, though, had hair that was dyed like rubies, like cherries, like blood. He was quite young, appearing to be in his mid twenties. He was dressed in a blue suit that matched his eyes, which were  _too_ blue to be his actual eye colour. Other than that, he looked quite normal. There didn't seem to be any other major body modifications.

Athena looked away just as the group of socialites stopped laughing and one of them said, touching Finnick's arm several seconds longer than altogether necessary, "I think our dear friend, Finnick, here is right! Who knew the world of entertainment could be such a flawed one!"

"More than you'd think," Finnick said with a coy smile.

"Definitely anyone who's been listening to this guitar player play for the last five minutes," Athena piped up.

As the group of socialites burst into another chorus of laughter, Athena looked over at Finnick and signed, "I get the feeling they're going to want to hold onto you. The guy's alone right now. I'll go talk to him."

Finnick raised an eyebrow just slightly as he signed, "You're okay to go by yourself?"

Athena shrugged a little, signing, "I have to learn sometime."

Finnick's brow furrowed a little "Even if that is true, I don't know if they'll want to let you go either."

He cocked his head subtly to the group of socialites as he signed "they". Athena realized he had a point; she tended to forget that the Capitol was obsessed with her, too.

"I've got a idea. Finish your glass of champagne," she signed. He just looked at her. She got a little impatient. "Just do it."

In an attempt to get him to follow her lead, she drained what was left of her glass of champagne in one go. Once finished, she looked at him imploringly. He shrugged, then followed suit. The group of socialites' laughter faded as they watched the two of them.

"You two must be awfully thirsty!" commented one of them.

"Sure are!" Athena said, a little louder than she would've normally done due to the amount of alcohol she had consumed in a short amount of time. "I'll go get more for us, Finnick. Any of you want anything?" she said, turning to the socialites and smiling pleasantly.

They all seemed satisfied, so Athena took Finnick's glass and slipped away, towards the table of drinks beside which the man in question was standing. She straightened her posture, pushing her shoulders back slightly and lifting her chin as his eyes wandered over to her. When she reached the table, she made to get new drinks for herself and Finnick, though in reality, she was looking at him out of the corner of her eyes as he stared at her.

"I might be speaking too soon," he said suddenly, "but you may be the most stunning person at this party." Athena made herself smile modestly. Before she could think of something good to say, he was saying, "I'm Ammon Pan. A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"And you," Athena said with a nod. She was better at remembering that she didn't really need to introduce herself to anyone anymore.

He extended a hand to her as the music changed to a much slower song. "May I?"

"Of course," Athena said immediately, taking his hand. "I'd be honoured."

She let him lead as they swayed around the dance floor in time to the music. He seemed to like being in charge. It reminded her of Adrian, even of Selene, the way she always needed to make it seem like they had the upper hand... this was all, in a way, just like trading at the markets. The fact that the live of two teenagers were being treated as goods to sell or trade made her sick to her stomach, but she swallowed the nausea down as best as she could.

"You truly are the most captivating thing I've seen in so long," said Ammon. "I could hardly keep my eyes off you in the arena. I know I'm not supposed to brag about such a thing, but I did give a heavy sum of money to support you in the arena."

"I suppose I owe you my sincerest gratitude," Athena said. "If it wasn't for you, I might not be here right now."

"If it was all leading to this moment, it will have been very worth it," Ammon said, moving closer to her, all of which made her distinctly uncomfortable. She kept smiling delightedly like there was nowhere else she'd rather be, though. "And now here you are as a mentor... what drew you to filling such a role?"

"I think there's so much honour in it," said Athena, seeing her opportunity and hastening to seize it. "Guiding these two brilliant, brave fighters through the biggest thing they'll ever do... making sure it isn't the  _last_ thing they ever do..." she added that comment with a playful smirk, as though the idea was a little amusing rather than terrifying, "Well, it's honour for me to even be here."

"I see," he said with a nod. "And these two tributes... you say they are brilliant, brave fighters."

"Oh, yes, of course," Athena said immediately, nodding. "You thought I was something special? You haven't seen anything yet, wait until you get a look at them."

"Really?" Ammon said, looking interested. "I get the distinct impression you're being modest."

"That's because you haven't seen them yet," Athena said easily. "Wait until the opening ceremonies start up. They'll shine so bright you won't be able to believe it."

"I'll take your word for it," Ammon said. "I hope that it'll prove to be true. I don't know what I'll do with that disappointment..."

He looked her up and down, bringing her closer and tightening his grip on her. Athena swallowed down discomfort and put on a playful smile tinged with coyness.

"You won't be disappointed," she said in a purposely low voice; it wasn't quite on the level of Finnick's seductive, sultry voice, but it would have to do.

He moved away from her, and for a moment she was terrified she'd done something wrong, but then he was taking her hand in his and kissing it. "I'm afraid I have to leave you now. But know this: you've been the highlight of this whole event for me... and I will be paying special attention to those tributes of yours."

He looked genuinely disappointed to have to leave her, which she supposed was a good thing. It meant she had his attention in a good way. She simply smiled and bowed her head, saying, "I hope to see you again soon."

"And I you, Athena Maris," said Ammon. "And I you."

With that, he swept away and soon disappeared from sight among the crowds. Athena realized that they had ended up back at the table with drinks. She began scanning the banquet hall for any sign of Finnick or even Alayne, but stopped when she noticed a paunchy man hunched over the table and downing glasses of various types of alcohol. His long dark hair shielded his face from view temporarily, but she had an inkling of who it was. When he brushed some of his hair from his face, her suspicions were confirmed.

"Nice to see you again, Haymitch," Athena said casually in greeting, and found she meant it more than she thought she would.

"And you, sweetheart," said Haymitch, raising a glass to her, a gesture she returned. "I - uh - I think I should mention to you - some flowers found their way to the graves of the Hopper sisters and Will Pinegrove."

Athena looked over at him with wide eyes. He winked at her. She felt something lift off her shoulders, and she sighed heavily with relief. He had done it. He had left the flowers at the respective graves of Marjorie Hopper, Charity Hopper, and Will Pinegrove. She could have hugged him, but decided against it. He didn't seem to be the type to appreciate it. She also figured they needed to keep this casual, since she figured it was best very few people knew about her request to Haymitch, especially not Snow.

She settled for raising her glass again and saying, giving him a significant look, "Thanks for letting me know."

"It started a chain reaction," Haymitch said. "People started leaving flowers in droves util..." For a moment, he seemed conflicted about what to say, before finally saying, "until it was decided it was a bit too much."

Athena understood at once. Leaving flowers at the graves of the dead seems a very harmless gesture, but she imagined it was seen as a threat the same way Athena's speeches during her Victory Tour was. Anything that made the tributes more than pieces in a game was a threat, was a sign of rebellion. So they forbade people from leaving flowers at the graves.

"That's a shame," Athena said lightly, keeping her anger, fear, and sadness buried deep down. "I just hope there wasn't any trouble..."

She looked over at Haymitch carefully, hoping he understood what she was asking. She needed to know if he or anyone else had been punished. Luckily, he understood, saying, "Oh, nothing like that. It was all taken care of before it could become trouble."

"That's good," Athena said, and she had trouble hiding her relief. She didn't know what she would've done if Haymitch or someone else had been hurt over something she started. "I'm glad."

Haymitch down a glass of whiskey, before getting another. "You know, it is a surprise to see you here. Didn't think of you as the mentoring type."

"I have my reasons," Athena said, and left it at that, taking a sip of her wine. "But I've barely seen you around. Shouldn't you be off promoting your tributes?"

"Hey, sweetheart, you're not from Twelve," Haymitch said. "You're from a Career district, which is about as far from Twelve as it gets, besides - well, here - " he gestured around the banquet hall - "so there are some things you won't understand. The approach we take is a very different one."

"Meaning?" Athena said, raising her eyebrows.

"Meaning we just let things take their course when it comes to sponsors," Haymitch replied, gesturing vaguely with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

"You mean you're not even going to  _try_ and help your tributes?" Athena demanded.

"Like I said," Haymitch said. "There are some things you won't understand."

"I think I understand it just fine, actually," Athena said hotly. "Those tributes are relying on you and you're just going to leave them to the wolves like that?"

"Why does it bother you so much?" Haymitch said drily, raising his eyebrows. "It just raises the chances that one of your tributes wins. It'll be a new notch in the belt of the Capitol's favourite mermaid."

"So you don't feel any responsibility at all?" Athena demanded. When he just stared at her, she stepped closer to him and lowered her voice with barely constrained fury. "So did you treat Will Pinegrove like this? Or Marjorie and Charity Hopper? Is this how much they mattered to you - ?"

"The Hopper sisters and Will Pinegrove," Haymitch said shortly, looking like she had just touched a nerve, "showed a desire to actually win. I acted accordingly. This set of tributes have accepted their deaths, the way most do. So I did too. I won't pretend it's all been a walk in the park for you, but that's just something you've never seen the way I have. I suggest you stick to what you know, sweetheart."

Athena stared at him with narrowed eyes. It infuriated her, how little he tried for these people whose lived depended on him, but she also knew he had a point. She remembered the weary cattle feel she got from many of the citizens of District Twelve. They looked like they had been beaten down so badly they could hardly get back up again. The Hunger Games were not an exception. Marjorie's liveliness seemed more an exception to the rule than anything. District Four, in many ways, must seem like paradise in comparison.

Before Athena or Haymitch could say anything else, a pale woman with wavy teal hair and a ruffled, striped dress to match swooped upon them.

"There you are!" the woman said, a little shrilly, grabbing onto Haymitch's arm. "I've been looking for you for ages!" the woman seemed to notice Athena and her expression shifted. She looked a mixture of awed and mortified. "Oh, Haymitch, have you been bothering  _her_ too?"

"Oh, calm down, Effie," Haymitch said, shaking the woman apparently named Effie off of him. "We were just having a conversation, right, Athena?"

"Um - " Athena began.

"I'm so, so sorry that he was bothering you," Effie said, looking at her earnestly.

He sort of  _had_ been bothering her, but she suddenly felt an inexplicable need to defend her from this Capitol woman she didn't know at all. "He wasn't - "

The woman didn't let her finish, sticking out a hand and saying, "I'm Effie Trinket. It is an honour to meet you in person. I admire you so much, truly."

"Uh - yeah - nice to meet you too," Athena said, trying not to sound as awkward as she felt, reaching out to shake her hand.

" _I'm_ bothering her?" Haymitch said, raising his eyebrows. "You're about to ask her for her fuckin' hand in marriage - "

"Haymitch!" the woman hissed, highly affronted. "Again, Athena, I am so, so sorry - " she stopped her breathy apology mid-sentence, slapping Haymitch's wrist as he went to grab another glass of whiskey - "we really must get going - again, so fabulous to meet you!"

With that, she redoubled her grip on Haymitch's wrist and dragged him away. Haymitch turned around and called out over his shoulder, "Hope to see you again, sweetheart!"

"Yeah," Athena said, a little amused in spite of herself. "Yeah, you too."

Athena wasn't alone for very long until she found Finnick, still surrounded by that same group of socialites. He kept up his act the same as always, but Athena could detect, somewhere in his face or his posture, that he wanted a way out. A plan already forming in her mind, Athena straightened her posture again and smiled brightly, before striding over to where Finnick stood with the Capitol socialites with two full glasses of champagne again.

"You would not  _believe_ how sidetracked I got!" she said cheerfully in greeting when she reached them, pressing one of the glasses of champagne into Finnick's hands. "You know, those new performers on stage right now can do literally any song you ask them to do. They even said they could do songs from Four. I figured you'd want to see it from up close, Finnick. If," she added, looking questioningly at the socialites, "none of you mind, of course...?"

"Oh, not at all," said one of the men. "I imagine homesickness is unavoidable in these times. Enjoy what tastes you can get of home!"

Athena smiled and thanked them and Finnick did the same. Athena took Finnick's hand and lead him away until they had disappeared out of sight.

"Thank you," Finnick murmured.

"Any time."

"I'm assuming those performers can't actually do any songs from Four?" he asked. Athena shook her head. "Ah. Doesn't matter, I guess. The opening ceremonies are going to start soon, anyway. We should find Alayne."

But no sooner had he said it did they see Alayne hurrying over towards them. Contrary to the Capitol party during her Victory Tour, Alayne looked utterly sober, with a determined look on her face. She was here to get a job done.

"Well, I am very happy to say I've had great success!" Alayne said breathlessly when she drew level with them. "How about you two?"

"I'd say we've done well for ourselves," said Finnick. He turned to her. "How'd it go with Ammon Pan?"

"I think it went well," Athena said. "He seemed to really like me. He said he'd pay extra to Annie and Trent. I think we can make him stay on our side."

"Wonderful, wonderful," Alayne said briskly. "It'll be time to watch the Opening Ceremonies now, let's hurry along."

They, and all the other guests, were conducted into a different, equally spacious room with an enormous television, which was broadcasting the opening ceremonies. The cameras cut to different shots of the crowd-lined streets, but soon it began broadcasting the tributes, first from District One, as they began riding out onto the streets on their chariots while Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith commentated. Athena found herself waiting with bated breath; waiting, waiting, waiting, until - 

There they were. Annie and Trent, in those blue outfits that rippled like ocean waves, smiling and waving to the cheering crowds. And Athena felt herself sigh deeply with relief, because everyone loved them; the crowds, blowing kisses and throwing flowers at them and chanting their names; Caesar and Claudius, showering them with praise; even the potential sponsors in the room, swooning and sighing over them and whispering compliments about them to the person standing beside them. Indeed, a great deal of the attention was focused on them. And Annie and Trent seemed to be handling it gracefully every step of the way, so when they pulled up in front of President Snow's mansion, Athena had to smile a little as the Capitol socialites in the room burst into enthusiastic applause. They would be alright.

After President Snow was finished making his speech, Alayne turned to Athena and Finnick and said, "Time to get going. We'll need to meet Annie and Trent in the Training Center."

They filed out of the mansion along with the other mentors and their escorts to enthusiastic applause and cheers from the Capitol citizens. The cameras broadcasted them as they made the journey from the mansion to the Training Center while the crowd watched them in awe and cheered until they finally reached the Training Center. It didn't take long to find their group from there, Tatiana and Syrio with the prep teams excitedly babbling on about their success while Annie and Trent stood a little bit to the side. Annie and Trent were standing rather close together, talking in a way that seemed hesitant but friendly enough. Athena wondered, quite suddenly, if they were friends at all before this. She had no idea; she didn't see them together very often. Not for the first time, it made her think of Kai, how she still didn't know if they had ever been friends, didn't know if he had even liked her at all.

She was brought out of her thoughts by Finnick nudging her gently. She looked over at him, raising her eyebrows slightly. He only looked at her with a small smile, saying, "You ready, partner?"

"I don't know," she said, opting for honesty. Then, she walked with Finnick and Alayne to their waiting tributes.

 

*

 

An awed Annie and Trent were shown the District Four suite, dinner was had, where they talked about the Games and training, and the recap of the opening ceremonies were watched, where Tatiana and Syrio received a rousing round of applause for their designs. Not long after, Annie and Trent were sent to bed, where Athena, Finnick, Tatiana, Syrio, and Alayne all talked about how they would approach this week. It wasn't long until they all went their separate ways too, though. Athena wasn't in bed in her chambers for very long when she heard a knock on the door.

She sat up in bed. "Who is it?"

"It's me," came Finnick's voice.

"Come in," said Athena, sitting up a little straighter.

He shuffled into the room, looking as though he was a million miles away. When his eyes met hers, he only gestures at the bed and said, "Can I - ?"

"Yeah, of course," Athena said, shifting over in bed and patting the empty space beside her.

"I can't stay long," he whispered a little shakily, wrapping his arms around her waist as they both settled in. "Snow's already got a new client for me. Some big designer. I've got to meet her in a café in two hours."

Her heart dropped, but she could not have been surprised by this. He was forced to become a slave to the Capitol and its rich citizens all while handling the responsibility of being a mentor. Her heart ached for him.

"How do you feel?"

Finnick just shook his head, letting out a sigh and nestling his head on her shoulder. "The same as always. Not good, but... soldiering on. I just want to be here with you for now. I didn't want to be alone before I went and you..." he paused for a long time, before changing tact, saying, "Well. Like I said. Didn't want to be alone."

"Okay," she said, taking his hand and kissing it quickly. She brought his hand back down but kept it in hers. He laced their fingers together, and she placed a hand on top of his. "You don't have to be, then."

They lay there in what was mostly silence. Neither of them slept. Finnick traced shapes along her stomach slowly. At one point he started tracing words instead, and she took to saying them out loud. First her name, then Mags', then his. Then ocean, home, warm, beach, docks, morning, light.

"Can I move onto full sentences?" he murmured after a while.

"Go for it," she said with a grin.

And so he began. First he traced the words,  _I can hear Alayne snoring from here._ Athena laughed as she parroted it back to him, but said, "What else is new?"

She could feel him grinning as he traced the words,  _Annie and Trent aren't too bad, though._

She said it out loud, before saying, "Yeah. They might not even be sleeping, though."

 _That's true,_ he traced onto her stomach.  _They're full on careers, though. They'll be trying to get some rest._

"Mhm, if they can," Athena hummed. A pause. Then she tapped his hand and said, "Give me another sentence."

Another pause, and Athena glanced over at him to see that he was looking at the clock; then he was tracing out the words,  _I wish I didn't have to go._

She echoed the words back to him in a whisper, before adding, "Me too."

He wrote out the next words slowly, deliberately, so that she echoed them back word by word. "I... wish... I... could... stay... with..."

He didn't finish the sentence, though. After a prolonged pause, Athena looked over at him and saw that he was staring at the clock, his brow furrowed, suddenly looking miles away. Finally, he said, "I should go. I'll need to be at the café in a little less than an hour..."

"Okay," Athena said, forcing her voice to be calm and steady. "Okay." He sat up in bed, hovering over her for a moment. "Are you ready?"

"I - I guess I'll have to be," said Finnick with a slightly shaky laugh. "I mean it's just... I'll be with her until the end of the week, then it's some - some politician - I don't know, they haven't told me his name yet - and then it's... it's..." He let out a shaky breath, and everything about his seemed to deflate. "I... can't... it... it doesn't end, and I can't - "

He stopped talked abruptly, closing his eyes and hanging his head. Athena didn't tell him he had to go, because she knew he knew that already. That was the problem. She didn't know what to do, and that was the worst part of all. There was no way to help him out of this. She took his face in her hands, said his name quietly.

"It's never going to end," he said in a strangled voice, opening his shining eyes again. "It never ends. I just - we just keep doing it and doing it and doing it until - fuck, I don't even know - until we die and I wish - fuck - I wish I was - I wish we were all - "

He didn't finish his sentence, though he didn't need to because she already knew what he was thinking. Instead he let out a strangled noise that sounded like a choked sob and buried his head in her shoulder. Athena just wrapped her arms around him silently, said nothing about the way his body shook just slightly. It wasn't long before she felt drops of warm water on her shoulder and realized with a jolt what they were. Finnick had never cried in front of her before. It was a bit odd to think about, considering all they had been through over the course of a year, all the different states in which she had seen him. She let him cry, though, rubbing his back and feeling sadness and helplessness swell up inside her. Nobody deserved this, no one at all, and certainly not Finnick... Finnick who had only ever wanted to help himself and his aunt, Finnick who only wanted to protect himself and the people he cared about... he deserved something so, so far from this and she realized with a pang he'd likely never see it. None of them would.

Soon, he lifted his head from her shoulder, wiping the tears away slowly. There was a damp patch on the shoulder of her shirt where his tears had fallen. Neither of them said anything of it. She barely noticed it.

"You're going to be okay, Finnick," she whispered, taking his face in her hand and stroking his hair gently.

"How do you know?" he asked her, looking at her with wild eyes, desperate for an answer.

Athena didn't reply, mostly because she didn't know what she would say. She just leaned up and kissed his forehead gently. She heard him let out a sigh, leaning into her touch and holding onto her tightly.

"I should go," he said, when they pulled away. "I should get ready and I should - I should be alone."

Athena nodded, then murmured, on an impulse, "I'll be there when you come back."

He seemed to relax visibly at the comment as he climbed out of bed and stumbled out of the room. As expected, it was impossible to sleep after that. All she could think of was Finnick being suffocated by powerful Capitol citizens whispering every secret they had to offer. She thought she'd be sick. She thought she'd explode from the helplessness, the sadness, the pain of it all. Instead, she got out of bed and walked over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

Athena found Annie sitting on the sofa of the sitting room. Her posture was rather tense, and she looked like she hadn't slept a wink. She was surprised for a split second, before remembering to act like a mentor, turning to her, and saying, "You should be sleeping."

"Probably," Annie agreed, then looking a little worried. "Am I allowed to be up and out of my room right now? Am I breaking a rule or something?"

"No broken rules, no," Athena said, crossing her arms. "The suite is yours to do what you want when you want. You're just not helping yourself by not getting all the sleep you can get for training tomorrow."

"Right, sorry," Annie said sheepishly. "I just can't sleep."

"It's hard to, I know," Athena said in understanding. "I had trouble sleeping a wink during training."  _And every night after that..._ "But you'll need your strength on your side, especially if you need to build up muscle like you said."

She flexed her muscles to demonstrate, and Annie smiled. "Good point."

"Was there anything you were doing here?" Athena asked, out of curiosity. "Or have you just been sitting here all night?"

"Not all night," Annie corrected. "And I was - I was watching the Games - well, yours and Finnick's, I mean."

Athena tensed up. Those Games were on television; it was not a horrible dream that the rest of Panem happened to know about, it was real, she had done all those things, seen all of those things, had all those things done to her, it was real, real, real, and it would follow her forever. It was how people knew her. She tried her hardest to play it off. "I see. Any reason?"

"I wanted to see what tips I could pick up from seeing my mentors at work," Annie explained.

Athena nodded in approval. "Smart. Anything in particular that stood out?"

"A bunch of things, actually," Annie replied. "But there's one thing that's really been sticking out. There's this one move you do with your spear, it's like - it's after you use the shaft of it to hit somebody, and you do this sort of - this spinning move, and you - " she tried to demonstrate the move by miming it clumsily. It was a poor imitation, but Athena knew what move she was talking about - "it's hard to describe, but you know what I'm talking about, right?" Athena nodded, and Annie looked pleased. "I just think it's a good move - and it can work with other weapons, too, I think - and it's - I mean, I doubt I'll be able to do it as well as you - your form's amazing, I don't think I've ever met anyone who's better with a spear than you - but I was wondering... could you teach it to me?"

Athena stared at her, a little stunned. She hadn't expected this. She had expected to have to give tips to survive in the arena, how to beat enemies, but this, teaching her how to wield a weapon, felt different. It made it hit her all over again that her tributes needed her to teach them to be killers. That was all mentoring was about, especially for Careers. It was just teaching kids how to become killers, and Athena couldn't do it, she couldn't - except she had to do it. She had no other choice, because the other option was to teach them how to die. She thought about Finnick, probably with that fashion designer in that café. Then, she grabbed a stick, held it like a spear, turned to Annie, and spoke.

"Watch closely."

 

*

 

Athena, who managed to end up getting a grand total of an hour of sleep, was awake before anyone else - even Alayne, which was always a bit surprising; it seemed like she never truly slept when she had a job to do. The sun was rising as she looked out the window, and she found herself thinking of home, of her mother and sister and Mags who might be watching the same sunset. Mags might still be asleep or she might be having breakfast, ready to tend to her garden. Her mother and sister would likely be making breakfast before Calypso would be heading off to school. She thought about how she wouldn't be there to walk Calypso to and from school and felt her heart sink. She knew that her mother and Mags would both be there to do it, but it didn't much fix the guilt settling heavy in her chest. She was failing them.

Athena found Finnick sprawled on the sofa when she walked into the sitting room, wearing an unbuttoned shirt and underwear. She thought about how she'd walked into this exact moment a year ago, thought about how different things were now, how now she knew where he had been, and felt rather sad. He appeared to be asleep, so she tiptoed over to him and knelt down in front of him. She was about to wake him carefully, but before she could do anything, his eyes fluttered open and he looked over at her.

"Morning," he said, rubbing his eyes blearily.

"Morning," she said gently. "When did you get back?"

"About two hours ago," he said. "Didn't get to sleep much. Then I've got to meet with her again while Annie and Trent are training, and then we have to talk to sponsors..."

Athena nodded in understanding, though she felt horrible for him. He wouldn't have much chances to get any sleep throughout the day. "You want me to take the lead talking to them today? We already went over what to talk about, I'm sure I can handle it."

"I'm sure you can too," Finnick said, "but you shouldn't have to. They're still my responsibility too. Don't worry," he added, when she opened her mouth to protest. "I can handle it."

Athena hesitated for a moment, her lips pressed together, before nodding. "Okay."

"I should get up," he said. "It'll probably be breakfast soon." Athena stood and gave him space to get to his feet. As he passed her, he hesitated, before touching her shoulder lightly and saying, "I'll see you in a second."

She nodded. When he was gone, Athena wandered over to the dining table, served herself, and sat down. She wanted to say something to the Avox boy standing there, but she didn't know what. People weren't supposed to talk to the Avoxes unless they were giving orders, and it was harder than she thought to get around that. She didn't want to risk getting them into trouble, so she stayed silent. Athena settled for smiling at him, before beginning to eat. Not long after she had settled in did Annie arrive, followed by Trent (both of them dressed in training gear that was similar but not identical), with Finnick, who was now fully dressed and a little more put together, and Alayne, dressed in floaty fabrics of blue in honour of Annie and Trent's success at the opening ceremonies, trickling in last.

Once everyone was settled in, Athena said to Annie and Trent, "Okay, today's your first day of training, which means there's lots for us to talk about, but before we get into any of that, there's something important you two need to decide on right now."

"What's that?" Trent said, a little alarmed.

"Whether the two of you should be coached separately or together," Finnick said.

Annie and Trent exchanged surprised looks.

"Why wouldn't we be coached together?" the former asked, looking to the two mentors.

"Say one of you had a secret talent or weakness you didn't want the other knowing about," Finnick said.

The two tributes looked at each other again.

"Do you have a secret talent or weakness?" Trent asked Annie.

"Not that I know of. Do you?"

"Not really, no. So, in that case, maybe we should just be coached together...?"

Annie looked uncertain, though. She turned to Athena and Finnick and said, "What are the pros of getting coached together?"

"You'll both be getting the exact same advice in the exact same way, so no one will think they're getting the short end of the stick," Finnick said. "Believe me when I say that's been a problem before."

Athena said nothing, but she knew exactly what he meant.

"It makes trust easier, which might be useful if you want to be in an alliance," Athena said. When everyone simply stared at her, she added quickly, "I know alliances don't have to be based on a fountain of love and trust, but it's going to make things hard for you if you can't trust the person who's supposed to watch your back in there, that's all."

"Okay," Trent said slowly. "What about cons?"

"Again, if there's something you don't want the other knowing about you, you're going to have your work cut out for you trying to keep it a secret while also getting the most amount of help that you need from us while you can get it," Finnick said.

"And there might be the issue of getting too attached," Athena added. "That might make things hard in the arena. And if you don't want to be allies in the first place, then you really won't want that attachment."

"Well, we're going to be allies," Trent said. "Right, Annie?" Annie didn't say anything. Trent frowned. "Annie?"

She was silent for a few more moments, before saying tentatively, "Maybe... maybe we should be coached separately." When Trent looked at her in indignation, and Athena and Finnick looked at her in interest, Annie was quick to elaborate. "It's not because of anything I have against you - I still want to be allies - but... maybe the less personal we make this, the better? I mean, no offence, Athena," Annie said, with a nod at her, "but being close with Kai didn't really do you any favours in the end, you know?"

Athena swallowed that comment down with difficulty; she was right, after all. "It's a fair point. Trent, what do you think?"

Trent looked over at Annie, a little hesitantly, swallowing a mouthful of food. "You swear this won't affect our alliance?"

"Of course not," Annie said immediately. "I want us to be in this together."

Trent nodded once, before turning to Athena and Finnick and saying seriously, "Then I agree to this."

"Okay," Finnick said, clapping his hands together. "In that case, we can't proceed much further here. Each of you go to your rooms and we'll meet you there."

They nodded, obeying immediately as they got up and went their separate ways to their chambers, Alayne escorting them there. When they were gone and Athena and Finnick were alone, they looked at each other.

"So," he said, "we're going to have to find a way to split this up."

"Maybe we should switch between them," Athena suggested. "You know, instead of you getting one tribute and me getting the other? That way they get advice from both of us pretty evenly. Nobody feels left behind, and you don't have to be whisking anyone away up to the rooftop to give them advice."

Finnick smirked. "What, don't tell me you'd be jealous?"

"Not a chance," Athena said immediately. "Get over yourself, Odair."

Finnick grinned, unperturbed by the comment. "Good to know. The rooftop is definitely an us thing, anyway. I wouldn't take just anyone up there."

"What, you've never gone up there with someone else?" Athena asked, eyebrows raised. "It's not like that place is a secret."

"Me and Mags would go up there a lot," Finnick admitted. "But that's different. It's hard to explain." And without elaborating further, Finnick said, "But that's a good point. Tributes benefit more from having two people giving them advice than just the one, anyway. Two heads are better than one and all that."

"Okay," Athena said. "So, for now, I'll go talk to Trent, you'll get Annie, and then we can switch. Sound good?"

Finnick nodded, and so after discussing what they would say to their tributes, they parted ways, only pausing to update Alayne. Trent was quick to answer the door when Athena knocked.

"Are you going to be my mentor?" he asked, stepping aside to allow her inside.

"Me and Finnick are going to be switching between the two of you, that way you can still get advice from the both of us," Athena replied. "You'll see Finnick in a second. For now," she gestured to his bed, "sit."

He sat, and she followed suit, sitting cross-legged on the foot of his bed. "Mind going over your strengths and weaknesses one more time for me?"

"I'm strong," he listed off immediately. "Good with hand-to-hand combat and survival skills, decent with a trident. Weaknesses... besides a trident, I'm useless with most weapons. And I'm not very fast."

"Right," Athena nodded. "One thing you definitely have to work on is weapons, then. I'd hone in your skills with a trident a little more, but I'd also work at being able to use a couple more weapons. Not everyone is going to be at close enough range for hand-to-hand combat, so you need to have something to turn to when that's the case."

He nodded. "Got it."

"Speed is something else to work on," Athena said. "Strength is a really good thing to have on your side - it can be huge - but being quick on your feet can be just as lifesaving."

"I mean, I'm not a fucking sloth, but - " he began, but cut himself off abruptly. "Sorry."

"For what?" she asked, grinning but a little confused.

"For - for swearing," he said sheepishly.

Athena grinned wider. "You're allowed to swear around me, Trent. It's not like I'm going to give you detention."

"Oh," Trent said slowly. "Oh. Okay. Just checking, detentions at the academy were brutal. You can never be too safe."

"Fair point," Athena said. "So... like I said, work on speed. Now, it wouldn't hurt to spend some time honing in on hand-to-hand combat and general strength, as well as survival skills, but don't make it your priority. There's no use spending time working on something you're already really good at. Mainly I'd use your strength to show off a little in there."

He straightened up at that. "You think I should show off?"

"Well," she said, "think of it this way. You're a Career. Everyone knows you've been training for this your whole life. Which means everyone expects you to be good. So nobody's going to believe you if you try to act helpless or incompetent. Besides, Careers typically don't win by lying low and staying under the radar. Now, with all that said - don't show off  _too_ much. You don't want people to have the full scope of your abilities before you even set foot in the arena. Give people a taste of what you can do, nothing more. Do just enough that people are intimidated by you, nothing more."

"Got it."

"And one more thing," Athena said. Trent looked at her intently. "Be the class clown. If you can joke around during all of this, then they think you're not scared of anything. If they think you're not scared of anything while knowing that you're strong, then  _they're_ going to be scared of  _you_ _._ Or they'll want you on their team. Or both. Now, mind you," she added sternly, "don't push any buttons. You don't want people to turn against you this early on, trust me. Just... be the funny guy. I know you're got it in you."

Trent grinned. "You think I'm funny?"

"A lot of people think you're funny," was all she said. "Humour is a good tool to have. Use it."

After a few more minutes, she left Trent, wishing him good luck in training, walking over to Annie's rooms. She crossed paths with Finnick on the way there.

"All good?"

"All good. You?"

"Same here."

It seemed like Annie had been waiting for her, because she opened the door as soon as Athena's knuckles rapped on the door.

"Hi," Annie said, a little breathless. "Now it's time for girl talk?"

"Something like that," Athena nodded, as the two of them settled on the foot of Annie's bed. "Okay, so, go over strengths and weaknesses once over or me."

"I'm fast," Annie began. "I'm a pretty good fighter, good with knives and decent with a spear. Weaknesses: survival skills aren't a strong suit for me, and I'm not that strong, either."

"Right," Athena said. "Now, what did Finnick tell you?"

"He said to focus mainly on getting stronger, honing in on my skills with weapons, and survival skills."

"He's got a good point," she nodded. "Obviously, you can't do much for strength in our days, but spending time sparring and lifting weights could do you some good. As for weapons, I wouldn't spend too much time with knives if you're already good at it. Extra practice is always good, of course, but make sure the bulk of that time goes to things you really need to improve at. Survival skills is a big one, though. That could make all the difference in the world in the arena."

Annie nodded. "That's what Finnick said." She hesitated, before adding, "He also said I should avoid showing off too much. A little showing off is good, but not too much, he said."

"I agree," Athena nodded. "People are probably going to write you off as the pretty girl - you know, good for the cameras and the optics and everything. You should prove them wrong a little bit, show them some of what you can do and that you'll be a force to be reckoned with. Otherwise, let them stay misguided. It'll make the blow that much harder when you hit. Other than that, that's about that."

"Okay," Annie said, steeling herself. "Okay. I can do this."

"Yes, you can," Athena said firmly. "If it helps, think of this like a day at the academy, just... with higher stakes. It's really not that different. The academy was clearly modelled to resemble training here as much as possible."

"Okay," Annie said again, paused, then lowered her voice a little as she said, "Hey, this place is kinda weird, isn't it?"

"To us," Athena said.  _And the rest of Panem_ , she thought. "We were raised so different."

"Being with the stylists was so weird," Annie said. "I was expecting hair and makeup and everything, but there was some stuff I didn't expect... like when they shaved me... do they do it to you, too?" Annie asked her in a whisper, leaning in towards her. "Get rid of all your body hair, I mean."

"Yeah," Athena confirmed. "They make a really big deal of it here."

"Did they do it - everywhere?" she said, lowering her voice significantly.

Athena bit back a laugh, knowing exactly what she meant. "Yeah, everywhere."

"That's so weird!" Annie declared, with a laugh that was simultaneously amused and a little embarrassed and confused. "Why would they do that?"

"I guess that's just what's in style here," Athena shrugged; she would probably never be able to understand the Capitol's trends.

"But that's the point with me? It's not like they're going to see what's down there..." Annie said, before her face fell and her expression turned into an anxious one. "Are they?"

"No," Athena said firmly. "There's no part of this process that requires them seeing you naked, and Tatiana and Syrio aren't that crazy. Even if they were, we'd stop them - me and Finnick, I mean. Don't worry."

Annie looked like she was trying to be reassured by that. She was frowning a little, her brow furrowed. She looked slightly troubled by something. "This hasn't... all been what I expected it to be. It's... strange. I don't know what to make of it."

"Don't think about it too much," Athena said, a little heavily, knowing all too well what she meant. "Focus on training," she stood up. "I'll leave you alone for the last while. Alayne'll meet you at the elevator at ten. Good luck, Annie."

When the two tributes were gone for training, there was no time to relax. While Finnick had to meet with his new client, Athena had her first photoshoot to go to, where she would be escorted by Alayne. They were taken to the location of the photoshoot in a car with tinted windows. A team that was twice as big as the prep teams for tributes attended to her, speeding up the process as they put her in outfit after outfit, changed her hair and makeup over and over again. She posed for the camera in front of a blank wall. Sometimes she stood, sometimes she was sat in a chair. She figured they would expertly edit in whatever background they wanted after. The poses they made her do started off innocent at first, but became more seductive and sultry as time went on; the tight, revealing outfits they put her in didn't help in this aspect, either. Still, Athena swallowed down discomfort, the way she knew she had to, and did as they said without thinking.

After the photoshoot, there was still time before training would be over for the day, so Athena and Alayne met up with Finnick to explore the city, scouting out potential sponsors. By the time training was over and it was time for supper, they had amassed some more interest from sponsors. Dinner was had in silence, before Athena and Finnick spoke to Annie and Trent separately, before switching over. After, Annie and Trent went to bed. Finnick met with his client for a few hours, before he, Athena, and Alayne all went to a party being held by one of the Gamemakers, attended by mentors, Capitol escorts, Gamemakers, and other popular socialites. Athena had alcohol passed to her, was passed around to be danced with, and promoted Annie and Trent any opportunity she got. Athena and Finnick tried to stay together, but they were pulled apart at every turn. They didn't make it back to the District Four floor until the sun was beginning to rise again.

The next few days followed a similar cycle. In the morning, there would be breakfast. After breakfast, Athena and Finnick would provide advice to Annie and Trent. While Annie and Trent were at training, Athena would have photoshoots to do, luncheons and parties to attend. Sometimes Finnick would accompany her, sometimes he would be with his client, and sometimes he'd have to go to some other event entirely. Sometimes Alayne would escort her, sometimes she'd have responsibilities elsewhere. If there was was time left over, they would discuss sponsorships with Capitol citizens and alliances with mentors. They would be back at the District Four floor for dinner. After dinner, they would spend more time discussing the Games with Annie and Trent, before the tributes were sent off to bed. With the night, came more time for parties that never seemed to end. The only good thing was the opportunity to talk to more mentors and potential sponsors.

It was a draining process to go through every day, and there was little rest in between. When they finally got back to the District Four floor and could sleep, Athena found sleep would not come to her. Being back at the Capitol at all made her uneasy, but during the Hunger Games in particular brought the memories back in full force, her nightmares twisting them until every single second seemed painful. Not only that, but there was the constant worry for her mother and sister and Mags back home, and fear for her tributes, fear that she wouldn't be able to save either of them. Alayne offered her sleeping pills, but she refused; they only trapped her in her own nightmares. She just continued with what little sleep she got, trying to be as lively as she could. It was a time that really made her wonder how Alayne could look so awake still, until she remembered the effect wearing your weight in makeup could have.

There was some good, though. She and Finnick found ways to sleep together when they both got to sleep, and having him with her soothed her greatly. The other mentors were nice - surprisingly so. In hindsight, she didn't really know why she expected them to be mean, but the friendship they extended to her was appreciated. She had met all of them during her Victory Tour, which helped. She and Alayne still bickered and rarely saw eye to eye, but they were much better now, which made things easier since Athena no longer had to invest so much energy in being annoyed with Alayne. Finnick said that this year was more hectic than usual, since the Capitol was swept up with excitement over the new mentor and over the fact that District Four now had two young, intriguing mentors, but it was generally this exhausting being a mentor. It comforted her to think that, regardless of how awful this was, Mags no longer had to go through it. It had to take a certain amount of strength and endurance to go through this for over fifty tears, and Athena was glad Mags didn't have to anymore.

Athena learned fast. Capitol citizens gushed over how positively gorgeous she looked on the cover of these magazines, so she started wearing clothes that resembled the outfits she wore in the photoshoots. Everyone in the Capitol loved it. Annie said with a grin that she looked great, Trent agreed with a fervent nod. The first time Finnick saw, he looked her up and down, looked at a magazine where she was on the over, and understood immediately. He looked at her in a way that was both approving and sad. She had molded a personality that was always exactly what the Capitol wanted from her.

Annie and Trent really were model tributes in many ways. They weren't perfect, but they were willing to learn and improve in any way they could. They hung onto every word Athena and Finnick said, eager for any advice from their mentors. Annie was a little in over her head, both Athena and Finnick suspected she wasn't fully ready to face the horrors of the arena despite their warnings to her, but she was easy to talk to, easy to laugh with, easy to want to see survive. She seemed troubled by much of what she saw in the Capitol, but she never said anything - both Athena and Finnick had a strong suspicion on what was going on in her mind, though. Trent, similar to Annie, had shown much improvement during training, and now needed to remember that he still was not invincible, needed to be warned not to fly too close to the sun, but he always cracked jokes, always tried to keep morale high, and spoke of home with such a fond look on his face that made her desperately want for him to see it again. The part that really made this difficult was that Athena really liked them both. She already knew it would be hard to keep from getting attached to them, but she saw now that it was impossible, and it only made it harder to come to terms with the fact that, despite all their efforts, she would have to watch at least one of them die.

"Was it like this with me and Kai?" Athena whispered to Finnick one night, when he had returned early from being with his client and they had some time to sleep.

He didn't have to ask what she meant. "Yes."

There was a long silence, before he added, "It was stronger with you, though. Everything with you is so much stronger," but he said it while Athena was drifting off into another fitful sleep so that she might have dreamt it.

The evaluations came and went, Annie and Trent both landing a score of nine. All focus went on their interviews with Caesar Flickerman. This would be the main deciding factor regarding whether or not they would get sponsors. Luckily, this was the place Annie and Trent both shined, and it was't hard to come up with an angle that worked for both of them: Trent would be the funny, endearing class clown type, while Annie would be her regular bubbly, charming self. Neither Finnick nor Athena were very worried for the interviews when they fell into bed together at three in the morning the night before. Instead, their worried rested in the Games that would start the day after.

"Will it be enough?" Athena whispered to him. He had an arm wrapped around her waist, and she was tracing shapes along his arm. "They trained so hard... will it be enough?"

He didn't have to ask what she meant. "You never know. Everything always seems to go out the window in the arena."

He had a point there. It just seemed so useless; they did all that they could for their tributes, knowing all the while that for at least one of them, it would be all for nothing, for they would die in the arena anyway. She could almost understand someone like Haymitch, especially coming from a district like Twelve; why bother when you know for at least half of your tributes it'll all be for nothing? Why bother when it'll still end in their blood?

"D'you think they've been on the roof yet?" she asked quietly.

"Probably not," he replied. "They're trying to stay out of trouble. Nothing like you."

He punctuated the last comment with a feather light kiss on her shoulder. She smiled. They both acted like it was a perfectly innocent gesture that occurred between friends all the time.

"They should see it," she whispered, turning over in bed to face him, her hands going to stroke his hair and brush it behind his ear gently. "They deserve to see it. At least once before..."

Athena didn't finish, could not finish, but the message was clear enough:  _before they might not come back_.

He was thoughtful for a moment, before saying, "We'll show them. Tomorrow night. After the interview. We'll show them."

And so after Annie and Trent made the entire Capitol fall in love with them in outfits that made them look like they were covered in ocean foam, after a solemn, tense dinner, and not long after Annie and Trent were sent to bed after receiving final advice from Athena and Finnick, after Alayne herself had turned in for the night, the two mentors roused the tributes from their sleep (well, from their attempt to sleep, since Athena guessed that neither of them could actually bring themselves to rest). Athena lead Annie to the elevator, while Finnick lead Trent, the two tributes whispering questions the whole way there.

"Just wait," Finnick told them, as the group of four entered the elevator. "It'll be worth it."

The elevator led them, as usual, to a dome-shaped room that led to the outside. Athena turned to Annie and Trent and said, with a sweeping gesture of her hands, "You two first."

Annie and Trent exchanged confused, uncertain looks, shrugged, and stepped out into the cool, windy air.

"Oh, wow!" Annie gasped, at the same time as Trent breathed out, "Whoa, this is incredible!"

Athena and Finnick grinned at each other, both of them pleased at their reactions, before stepping outside after them. The roof provided that same, brilliant view of the Capitol twinkling like a vast field of fireflies.

"You can come closer, if you want," Finnick said, as he and Athena walked right to the edge of the roof.

Annie and Trent followed behind, looking around in awe, the former asking, "Are we allowed to be here?"

"Probably," Finnick said. "I doubt they'd make a big deal of it if they saw you two here alone. And we - " he gestured to himself and Athena - "are allowed to go where we want, so as long as you're with us, you're good."

"I see," Annie said, then demanded indignantly, her hands on her hips, "And you two just hid this from us this whole time?"

"The word hid is a bit dramatic," said Athena. "We wanted you two to be focused. Besides, we've barely been up here ourselves."

Which was true. There had been so much going on since their arrival in the Capitol that there had hardly been time for rooftop discussions. They had been up there a few times, to discuss mentoring in the open air when the District Four suite seemed suffocating, but other than that, they didn't frequent the rooftop very much. Besides, if they wanted to talk privately at night, they could just do it in bed together now - not that Annie or Trent needed to know that.

"What if one of us fell of?" Trent demanded, looking down at the ground far below, transfixed. "We'd die for sure, right?"

"No, you wouldn't," Finnick said. "Watch."

He stuck his hand out into seemingly empty space. After a few seconds, there was a sharp zap, causing him to jerk his hand back.

"There's a force field," Athena explained, grinning at the confused looks on Annie's and Trent's faces. "It'll just throw you back up."

"Oh," Trent said in understanding. He looked over at Annie, grinned wickedly, and said, "Hey, Cresta, think fast!" before proceeding to pretend to push her off the roof.

Annie shook him off easily, punching him and laughing as she said, "You're such an asshole, Minnow!"

They pretended to fight for a few moments, neither of them apparently perturbed by the fact that they might really be trying to kill each other within weeks. There was an easygoing nature to their relationship that filled Athena with both curiosity and a deep envy and sadness. She supposed they had to have been friends before they were Reaped, but she couldn't help but think of her and Kai when she saw them. It was clear that Annie and Trent knew where they stood with each other. She still couldn't manage to move on from Kai, still couldn't fully make peace with his death, and she thought she might've had an easier go of it if she at least knew where they had stood when he died. But she still didn't know if they had been friends or enemies or if he had liked her at all or if he couldn't stand her.

A while later, Finnick slipped away, giving her a significant look. She nodded once in understanding; he had to meet with his client (it wasn't the designer anymore, her time with Finnick had run out; he was being forced to see the politician now). She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it briefly, before releasing it again quickly. He left silently while Annie and Trent were still distracted by the view; if he left before they realized, they couldn't ask questions, and the less questions they asked, the better. Any questions they asked Athena later, she would deflect.

Athena let them stay for a long while, perhaps longer than she should have; it might be the last beautiful thing at least one of them would see. They deserved a nice, long, unrushed look. When they had at last looked their fill, Athena said, "Alright. Enough pretty views. Time for bed. You need any rest you can get right now."

"I can barely sleep," Annie muttered, staring down at the ground.

"You'll sleep worse in the arena," Athena warned them. "Sleep while you can now."

Finally, they nodded, turning their backs to the edge of the room and the views it offered.

"Now," Athena added, forcing herself to remain calm. "This'll be the last time I see you."

She and Finnick were planning to find a way to say goodbye to their tributes while they were in the Launch Room (Finnick always found a way around the rules saying that mentors weren't allowed in the Launch Room, they figured they could find a way to make it work for the both of them), but President Snow had invited Athena to breakfast at his mansion that morning, and though he called it an invitation, it was evident that Athena was not to refuse him. She was admittedly terrified about why he wanted her at his mansion, especially on the first day of the Games, and very upset about now getting a chance to say goodbye to Annie and Trent before they were sent up to what might be their doom.

"There's no real advice to give you that I haven't already given," Athena continued. "So I'll only say this; the arena is going to be... like nothing you've ever experienced before. The academy says they prepare you for the Games, and in some ways they do, but they can't prepare how it feels to actually be in there. Nothing can. So remember, no matter what happens in there, to just keep going. Keep moving forward. Try to keep your head on straight. And trust your instincts - if you can't trust those, you can't trust anything. Understand?"

They nodded. Then, to Athena's surprise, Annie stepped forward and hugged her. Once the initial shock wore off, Athena hugged her back tightly. When they pulled away, Trent stepped forward, a little tentatively. Athena smiled, before pulling him into a hug.

"Thank you, Athena," Annie said, when Athena and Trent pulled away as well.

"Yeah, thanks," Trent added earnestly.

Athena smiled sadly. "I haven't done anything yet."

"Yes, you have," Annie insisted. "You and Finnick have been damn good mentors. Knowing you two'll be looking out for us makes me a lot less worried."

"What she said," Trent said, nodding. "You two have been like years at the academy in a week. And you never made me feel inadequate by measuring my height."

Athena breathed a laugh, before saying, "Come on. Bed."

She led the way back to the elevator, Annie and Trent on either side of her.

"Hey," Trent said suddenly, "speaking of Finnick, where did he go?"

"Finnick was never here," Athena deadpanned. "He's been in our heads all along. Translation: don't worry about it."

Annie and Trent laughed, before Annie said, thoughtfully, "I feel like he disappears a lot at night. I saw him sneaking out of the suite two nights ago. I wonder where he was going..."

"The real question is why you weren't in bed like you were supposed to be," Athena said as they entered the elevator, changing the subject with ease.

"You tell me how the hell I was supposed to sleep with Alayne snoring louder than usual that night?" Annie demanded. Trent burst out laughing, and Athena smiled but thought heavily about how their lives would be altered forever after tomorrow.

 

*

 

Breakfast at President Snow's mansion made an Athena already overwhelmed with anxiety even more nervous. Hiding her true emotions was becoming second nature to Athena, however, so she made sure Snow did not suspect a thing. They ate not in the dining hall, but in a much smaller room, each of them sitting at opposite ends of a long table made of elegantly carved wood. The food was excellent, of course, but Athena kept feeling like she was eating poison; then again, if Snow wanted her dead, he could've easily done it at any time since her arrival. Really, she was certain Snow could've easily had her killed at any time, no matter where she was, if he wanted it. There was no one there except for them and the Avoxes that were waiting on them.

"I was expecting more people, admittedly," Athena said lightly, as though she just wanted to make small talk. "You have a granddaughter, I believe, correct?"

"I do," Snow confirmed. "And I would be delighted if you met her one day - as would she, she admires you very much - but I had some more private matters to discuss."

"Really?"

"Really," Snow said, paused, before adding, "How are you finding mentoring?"

"It's an honour," she said immediately, her usual response when Capitol citizens asked her. "Guiding my and Finnick's two tributes, preparing them for such a noble cause is something I'm so proud to be doing."

Snow smiled a little, like she amused him. "Excellent. And how are your two tributes?"

"They're brilliant," Athena said. "I'm sure you saw in the interviews last night how charming they can be."

"Indeed I did," Snow said. "The girl - Annie - seemed lovely, and the boy - Trent - quite the jester."

"They are," she nodded. "And they're very skilled fighters - they didn't get a nine in their evaluations for nothing. I have full faith in them."

"I'm glad," Snow said. "We shall have to see how they do in the arena, won't we?"

"I suppose so."

"How has your co-mentor been?" Snow said.

"Finnick's good," Athena said. "Excited to be back in the Capitol."

"Wonderful," said Snow with a smile. "And how does he feel about his new suitor?"

"He's very taken with him," Athena replied, the lie coming easily, automatically.

"That's what I like to hear," Snow said with a smile. "And what do you make of it, Miss Maris?"

"Finnick is my friend," Athena said. "I'm happy as long as he is."

"Such a supportive friend," Snow commented lightly. "I suspect we all need someone like that." Athena said nothing, eating silently. "This, however, is not why I summoned you here, which I suspect you've already realized."

"I had a sneaking suspicion," Athena said. "I don't know why you actually did summon me here, though."

"It's to discuss you," Snow said simply. "You and your future with the Capitol."

Athena sat up a little straighter. "I see."

Snow smirked a little, before continuing. "Everyone in the Capitol has been beside themselves with joy since you were made a mentor, they've been so happy to have you back. And you've been such a well-loved guest at many of these events, and an appreciated sight on the cover of our magazines."

"I'm glad to hear it," Athena said evenly. She was waiting for the catch, waiting to be told that it was still not enough.

"I bring you here only to remind you," Snow said, leaning forward in his seat, "not to fall behind simply because the Games will be starting within hours. This should only continue as the Games do. If anything, your public appearances should be increasing. If not... well, the results will not be pleasant."

 _Oh_ , Athena thought.  _That's all this is: a reminder of what he's making me do, of how much power he has over me..._

"I won't fall behind," she said. "You don't have to worry, sir."

He smiled, satisfied. "I'm glad to hear it."

They had both finished eating. The Avoxes were quick to clear the tables, before disappearing through a door with the dishes.

"You should hurry along now, Miss Maris," President Snow said. "You will be escorted back to the Training Center. I wouldn't want you to miss the beginning of the Games."

"Of course," Athena said, getting to her feet. She bowed to him, the way everyone did to each other here. "President Snow."

With that, she turned and hurried out of the room, as quick as she could without revealing how eager she was to leave the mansion.

When she arrived back in the District Four suite, Alayne was waiting in the sitting room, sitting on the sofa.

"How was breakfast with President Snow?" Alayne asked.

"Great," Athena answered shortly, sitting down beside her. "The food was amazing."

"It was very lonely, eating here by myself," Alayne said matter-of-factly. "Finnick wasn't even here - I have no idea where that boy goes year after year. You'd think he'd be glued to the television at this time of the Games, but he never comes back until after the bloodbath..."

"Weird," Athena said; as it was technically against the rules for mentors to see their tributes at the Launch Room, it was decided that it was best if it was kept a secret from Alayne that Finnick did it anyway. Athena picked up the remote and turned on the television, taking a deep breath, trying to steel herself. "Right. Time to face this."

 

*

 

Finnick left the Launch Rooms with Tatiana and Syrio, walking towards the hovercrafts that awaited them. Technically, it wasn't strictly allowed that he was there. Technically, it was very illegal. But the thing about his arrangement with Snow was that he could find his way around things that were technically very illegal. He generally didn't hesitate to take advantage of this, especially in times like these. He was glad for the opportunity to say goodbye to his tributes, see them one last time before they either died or were permanently changed, permanently damaged...

Trent joked through his entire goodbye, clearly doing it to cover his obvious fear. Finnick had raised his eyebrows at him at the action, saying, "You shouldn't run from what you're feeling while you're in there. Ignoring what's going on in your brain isn't going to help you."

Trent looked troubled at that. He looked up at Finnick, a little nervously, and said, "But what if I'm scared?"

"Then be scared," Finnick said bluntly. "You should be scared. This is the scariest thing you'll ever do. Just don't let it take you over. Remember to act. Remember to keep moving."

"Athena said something similar," Trent muttered.

"Athena's very smart," Finnick said. "You should listen to her, if no one else."

"Probably good advice," Trend said, swallowing hard. "Any other good advice?"

"Just remember you're not invincible," Finnick told him. "Act accordingly."

After he had finished talking to Trent and had wished him good luck, he went to see Annie. Finnick liked Trent, but Annie was a bit different. Something about Annie made Finnick want to protect her, the same way he always wanted to protect Mags, the same way he'd want to protect the siblings he never had. She seemed to really like him - she had a crush on him at first, he knew, but he also knew it was mainly hero-worshipping that faded as the days went on. In some ways, she reminded him of Athena - then again, after the sight of flowers reminded her of all the pretty ones she liked to draw and the ones she would put in her hair (and his, too, since he always let her do it), he realized that he saw Athena in a lot of things.

Annie, surprisingly, was perfectly calm.

"I've had an epiphany," she explained when he asked about it. "I've been training for this my whole life. I've done everything I needed to do this week. Things are... different from what I thought they'd be, but I'm ready for this. I'm ready."

Finnick raised his eyebrows. "You've heard me and Athena say this, but you need to hear it again. You're in over your head. It could ruin you."

Annie shook her head. "It won't ruin me. It won't. I'm not going to let it. Trust me."

Finnick was trying to work out how to tell her that she was doomed whether she won or lost and that she needed to prepare for that, when she said, "I got to do this to Athena last night, but you disappeared, so I'll just have to do it now."

She stepped forward and hugged him tightly. When the initial surprise was gone, he hugged her back. When they pulled away, he held her at arm's length.

"Thank you," she said.

"It's way too early for you to be thanking me for anything."

"You and Athena are a lot alike, aren't you?" Annie said. "Anyways, you two have been good mentors. I want to thank you for that."

"Just," Finnick said slowly, "just save your thank you's until you're on the other side of all this, okay?"

Finnick had stayed with Annie until it was time for launching, until the glass cylinder separated them and the launch plate was lifting her up, up, away from him. And now he was in the hovercraft, sitting in between Tatiana and Syrio, who were chattering about idly.

"I'm quite nervous for them," Tatiana was saying. "I mean, I'm always nervous for my tributes, but..."

"I'm nervous too," Syrio piped up. "What about you, Finnick?"

Finnick did not want to talk to them about Annie and Trent, not when they still thought of the Hunger Games as a game and nothing else. Still, he forced himself to smile a little as he said, "Ah, you know me. I'm always worried for them. But they're strong. I believe in them."

Finnick was back at the District Four suite, his eyes found Athena's immediately, asking her a silent question. She was tense, her face grave, but her voice was steady enough as she said, "Eight dead. None of them are Annie or Trent," and Finnick's shoulders slumped in relief as she said it. "Annie didn't kill anyone, but Trent killed the boy from District Six. Annie has knives, Trent got his hands on a trident. They're together and with the Careers. The arena's a forest with a damned river overlooking it."

"Much more eventful than usual," Alayne said brightly. "Maybe it'll stay that way." Finnick and Athena just stared at Alayne. "What?" she demanded.

"Nothing, Alayne," Finnick said, shaking his head and collapsing onto the sofa beside Athena. "Nothing at all."

Alayne, not understanding why they were being so short with her, left after a few moments to "let them sort out their problems on their own!" The television was following the girl from District Eight who was trying to run into the shelter of the trees with a broken leg.

"How was Trent?" he signed. "When he killed the boy from Six?"

Athena signed back, "He looked - well, he looked like he'd just killed someone. He looked like he might throw up for a second, but then his face just went blank. And then Annie called out to him and he just ran from the body."

Finnick nodded, then signed, "Did Annie see?"

"No," Athena signed, "but she saw the girl from District One kill the boy from Three. She looked really upset at first, but then the girl asked what her problem is and she got over it - well, pretended to get over it."

Finnick thought this over for a moment, before signing, "She's in over her head and she doesn't even realize it."

Athena nodded. "I know," she said, out loud. She sighed, adding, "Why does it feel like we have so much power yet none at all at the same time?"

"That's being a mentor in a nutshell," Finnick informed her heavily.

Finnick would've stayed with Athena for much longer, keeping their eyes glued to the television for any sign of their tributes, but two hours later, he had to go to meet his client, a politician named Maximus Idum. When Finnick arrived at his apartment, Maximus had made quick work of removing his clothes, and Finnick didn't leave again until midnight, when the death recap came on confirming that Annie and Trent were both very much alive. Finnick was very drunk, and Maximus offered to drive him back to the Training Center, but Finnick did not want to be with him a moment longer than he had to be, so he said, smirking, "Don't you worry about me, sweetheart. I'll be just fine," and walked the whole way back to the Training Center, his hood up to keep people from recognizing him.

Athena was still in the sitting room, her eyes glued to the television, when he stumbled into the District Four suite. She looked like she had barely moved all day. Alayne was nowhere to be found; she'd probably gone to bed not too long ago. She usually turned in for the day after the death recap. When Athena heard Finnick come in, her eyes finally parted with the television. When she saw him, leaning against the wall a little for support, she stood up immediately.

"Finnick," she said.

The room was dark, and the only things that illuminated her was the moon outside and the light from the television. Everything about her was beautiful, ethereal, too good to be where she was. She had been worrying over Annie and Trent - and him, most likely, he knew - all day, and he had been touched and tainted all over again, he was - he was -

"Finnick," she said again.

He ran to the bathroom and threw up.

"Finnick!" he heard her say again, a million miles away, while he crouched over the toilet and emptied out the contents of his stomach.

She was in the bathroom within moments. Instead of being disgusted by him, the way he always sort of expected her to be, she just rubbed his back the whole time he threw up, until he was finally done and sat up a little straighter.

"Finnick," she said again. It looked like there was a million things she wanted to say, but then she studied his face a little more closely and said, "Do you want to be alone?"

He thought about it; then, he nodded slowly.

"Okay," she said. "Well, you know where to find me."

He smiled a little at the comment. Her hand brushed his shoulder quickly, reassuringly, before she went back to the sitting room. Slowly, Finnick got back to his feet, feeling like the room was spinning. He flushed the toilet, cleaned himself up, then looked back at Athena. Her back was turned to him as she sat on the sofa, watching the television intently again. Then he stumbled over to his chambers; he would be there for her (he still hadn't had the opportunity to ask her how breakfast with Snow had gone, and Finnick was always terrified for her where Snow was involved), there for Annie and Trent, and soon. Right now, though, he needed to be by himself for just a little longer.

 

*

 

President Snow, as expected, had not been lying when he said that things would not slow down for them in the slightest when the Games began. There were still parties and luncheons for Athena and Finnick to attend, photoshoots to do (they did some together, and it was nice to have him there with her, despite the uncomfortable poses they were made to do by the photographers), and an interview with Caesar Flickerman and all the mentors (at first the mentors for each district were interviewed separately, before all the mentors were brought on stage to talk amicably with each other as much as Caesar). All the while, they needed to confirm sponsorships. They had amassed a decent amount of money to have on standby, in case of emergency where they needed to get gifts to Annie and Trent quickly.

Despite this, Annie and Trent seemed to be doing quite well for themselves. The forest provided them with plenty of game to eat, and the river meant there was never a shortage for water. Nothing like the barren wasteland that she had been in... they were travelling with the other Careers who were, in typical Career fashion, trying to hunt down the other tributes and take them down one by one. Days went by, however, and the group only managed to find one tribute. Athena supposed this wasn't very surprising; the forest provided many opportunities for people who didn't want to be found to hide. Still, the other Careers were getting quite restless - as were Capitol citizens, it seemed. This was very boring by their standards.

"Perhaps I spoke too soon about these Games being eventful," Alayne said with a sigh.

Athena and Finnick ignored her; they had to if they wanted to keep cool.

Athena knew from years at the academy that Careers that were restless and frustrated always lead to chaos and this turned out to be no exception. Fights broke out among the group. Annie and Trent, who were doing well at keeping calm, usually managed to break up the fights, but Athena knew it wouldn't be long until the others brought an outburst that could not be contained.

That day came a little under two weeks into the Games. Athena, Finnick, and Alayne were all sitting on the sofa in the District Four suite, watching the scene in front of them intently.

It was late afternoon and the group of Careers was trying to figure out what they should do that night. The boy from District One, Blaze, was saying they ought to spend the night trying to find other tributes. Trent, however, was insisting they head over to the river, stick up on more water, rest up, and give another attempt to hunt for more tributes the next day with renewed vigour. The others simply watched as the argument became more and more heated.

"Come on, Blaze," Trent was saying. "I get what you're saying, and I get that it's been really frustrating - "

"Oh, you get it, do you?" Blaze said with raised eyebrows, advancing on Trent slowly and pushing him. Trent held his ground firmly, staring at him squarely. "You  _don't_ get it, Minnow. If you got it, you'd be on my side. You'd want to hunt the rest of them down one by one and kill them as soon as possible."

"I want them taken care of too," Trent insisted, "but we have to be smart about this. We're running low on water as it is - "

"The river's not going anywhere, is it?" Blaze said impatiently. "We can get water at any time."

"It'll make things easier for us if we stock up now," Trent said, forcing himself to remain calm. "And rest will be good for us too. The last thing any of us needs is to be slow on our feet because if exhaustion - "

"Who said anything about being slow on our feet?" Blaze said with raised eyebrows. "The only one who seems to be worried about that is you. Work that out for yourself."

"Come on, Blaze, don't be stupid - " Trent began.

He had said the wrong thing. "Oh, you think I'm stupid, do you? You think you know how to win this game better than I do? Let's see just how much you know, Minnow."

And with that, Blaze punched Trent square in the jaw. Alayne, on Athena's left, let out a gasp, her hand covering her mouth. She could feel Finnick tense beside her. Athena stood up straighter, fear seizing her heart.

"Hey, hey!" Annie called out, taking a step forward. The other Careers, in stark contrast, took several steps back. "Hey, cut it out! This doesn't need to happen! We can work something else out! Something that works for everyone!"

"Stay out of it, Cresta!" Blaze said roughly.

"Stay out of it, Annie," Trent said firmly. "I've got this."

"We'll see about that," Blaze snorted, and punched him again square in the face.

Trent stumbled several steps back from the force, clutching his nose. Then, his face set, and he charged straight at Blaze, tackling him to the ground. Once on top of him, Trent began punching him over and over again, until Blaze finally began blocking his blows and pushed him off of him. Trent scrambled to his feet immediately. Blaze was getting to his feet, but before he could stand up fully, Trent kicked him square in the face. Blaze fell back to the ground. As he got to his feet again, Athena saw that his hand was going to the sword sheathed at his hip, and Athena realized, her heart momentarily frozen with fear, that this was going to be a fight to the death.

Trent seemed to realize it at the same time, as did the rest of the Careers. He pulled out his trident and charged toward Blaze. He dodged a blow from Blaze's sword, and stabbed him in the shoulder with the trident. Blaze stumbled back from the blow, clutching his shoulder. Fury was etched onto his face. He rushed towards Trent, but instead of striking with his sword, he kicked him so hard that Trent went crashing into a tree. It might have been Athena's near dizzying paranoia, but she could have sworn she heard a crack. Trent stumbled around for several moments after, trying to recover from the blow.

"TRENT, LOOK OUT!" Annie shrieked.

But it was too late, for before anyone could do anything else, Blaze swung his sword with all his might and severed Trent Minnow's head clean off his neck.

There was a bloodcurdling scream that managed to drown out even the sound of the canon going off to confirm his death, and for a split second, Athena thought it was coming from her, until she realized that it was Annie. It was Annie screaming that terrible scream as she dropped to her knees, as Trent Minnow's head and body fell, separate from each other, with a soft, terrible thud on the hard ground. Athena's chest felt like it was closing in on itself, her head was spinning, and she realized, with a horrible pang, that Blaze had cut him right where that scar was. The scar that had come about while sparring (when fighting was ultimately harmless and everyone came out of it alive), the scar that made everyone swear up and down that he was going to die, but Trent Minnow wasn't going to die then, because he had to die by getting his head cut off (in that way that was always so brutal, like Alayne said) on national television.

She felt Finnick, right beside her, putting an arm around her and asking her if she was okay, and only then did she realize that she was crying. She tried to tell him that she was fine, but it was hard to convince someone of such a thing with tears falling down her face, especially Finnick. She still didn't know when exactly he started knowing her this well, when she started letting him know her this well, but she didn't question it just then. Athena just looked at him, shaking her head, because it had been for nothing. Hours or preparing him and it had been for nothing because Trent Minnow's head was severed from his body and he was still bleeding out from where Blaze had beheaded him, his body still twitching in the way that it always did for the first few moments after death, and Athena didn't know if it had ever been possible to save him. She noticed that he had a pained expression on his face that he was trying very hard to hide, and she knew at once he felt the same way.

Alayne's voice, from a million miles away, was saying, "Oh, look at Annie!"

That was enough to make both Athena and Finnick remember their responsibilities to their other, now their only, living tribute. Annie had gotten to her feet, her whole body - that suddenly seemed too small for that arena - shaking all over. She was sobbing, calling out to Trent over and over.

"Oh, will you shut up, Cresta?" the girl from District Two, Alexis, snapped. "Do you not know where you are or something? This was going to happen sooner or later."

Annie didn't say anything. She was still crying, looking around at the other living tributes with wide eyes.

"Do I need to take care of you too?" Blaze demanded, holding up his sword that was still dripping with blood.

Annie did not answer. Instead, she fled. She ran as fast as she could away from the other Careers, away from Trent's body, still sobbing uncontrollably.

"Get her!"

"Take her down!"

The boy from District Two, Jason, raised his bow and arrow and fired shot after shot at her. Most of them missed - Annie was moving so fast away from them, zigzagging between the trees, she was practically flying - but three managed to hit her. One in the leg, the other in her arm, the other in her shoulder blade. She cried out in pain, but didn't stop running. The girl from District One, Brandi, threw one of her knives at her, which grazed her cheek. She still didn't stop running. The others did not try to chase after her.

"She's a goddamn mess," Blaze said, shaking his head. "She'll be dead soon anyway." He turned to the remaining Careers, his back to Trent's body. "Now... we're going hunting for more tributes. Anyone have something to say about that?"

The others made no argument.

The cameras followed Annie as she kept running. She didn't stop for ages, and when she did, she climbed up one of the highest trees, taking shelter amid the leaves. Once there, she curled into a ball and continued to sob. Soon, the tears stopped and she was only shaking. And then she went utterly still and quiet, staring blankly into the distance. She looked like she was somewhere else entirely. She paid no mind to her injuries, as though she barely knew they were there. But they would have to be tended to soon.

"Her injuries," Athena finally said, her voice shaking dangerously. "She's going to need supplies to take care of her injuries."

"We don't - we don't have enough money to cover all that," Finnick said, forcing his voice to be steady. "We'll need sponsors."

"But who?" Alayna asked.

"Ammon Pan," Athena said, the name coming to her suddenly. "I'll talk to Ammon. He likes me. I can convince him. I just - I don't know his phone number, and I don't know how else to contact him."

"There's - there's a book," Alayne said, jumping to her feet and pulling a thick book from one of the shelves. "It has everyone's telephone numbers..." she flipped through the pages quickly, before saying, "Here - here it is!"

"I'll call now, then," Athena said.

She made to get to her feet, but Finnick put a hand over hers. "You sure you're ready?"

"Annie needs to take care of those injuries right away," Athena said. "I don't have a choice."

 _And I need to at least try to save our last tribute,_ she thought, but didn't say it.

Finnick seemed to understand anyway, nodding slowly and releasing her hand. Athena walked over to the phone, took a moment to compose herself, and said to Alayne, "Read me the number."

Alayne listed off the digits for Athena, which she dialled promptly. The phone rang twice before someone picked up, saying, "Hello?"

"Hi," Athena said, dropping her voice several octaves into something relatively sultry, "is this Ammon Pan?"

"It is," Ammon said slowly. "And you are?"

"Athena Maris," she replied. "We met two weeks ago, I believe."

"Ah! Athena!" Ammon said. "Forgive me for not recognizing you."

"There's nothing to forgive," Athena said. "I'm sure you're a busy man. You probably have a lot going on in your mind."

"I do indeed," Ammon confirmed. "But regardless, a woman like you is not to be forgotten. I hope there might be some way to make it up to you."

"Since you mention it," Athena said slowly, "your company today might work. I have been meaning to see you, but I've been so busy - I'm sure you can imagine... could we talk today?"

"Why, I'd be delighted," Ammon said. "Where?"

"Your choice."

He gave her the name and location of a relatively busy square where people met to talk frequently, telling her to meet him there in an hour. When they hung up, Athena relayed the information back to Finnick and Alayne, and promptly began preparing to leave. She looked at herself in the mirror. She closed her eyes, but then she saw Lana Ryker's decapitated body, then Trent Minnow's, then Kai Emerson's wasted one. She opened her eyes again and saw only herself. It did not make her feel better.

She gave her head a small shake, washed her face, and unbuttoned two of the buttons on her blouse. With that, she walked back out of the bathroom, told Finnick and Alayne she'd be back soon, and promptly left for the square.

She arrived ten minutes early and sat down at an empty table. She wore a sweater and kept her hood up in hopes that people would not recognize her and swarm her. She watched as chattering, eccentric Capitol citizens walked by and found, not for the first time, that she hated them all. She found herself distracted from this thought as Ammon Pan came into view, looking for her with a frown. When he looked in her general direction, Athena raised a hand to wave him over. He smiled at her, before moving to sit down across from her.

"I hope I'm not late," he said.

"Not at all," Athena said immediately, smiling. "I just like to be early."

"A good trait to have," Ammon said with a smile, "especially for someone in a position like yours." His face became much more serious then, leaning in and saying, "Speaking of which, I have heard about what happened to your tribute. I offer my sincerest condolences. And the way Annie reacted... oh, it's tragic, truly."

Athena smiled faintly. "Thank you for your condolences."

"It must be so terrible," Ammon continued. "I know you believed in them so strongly."

"I did," Athena nodded. "And I still do."

"You believe in Annie still?" Ammon asked, interested.

"Of course I do," Athena said at once. "I can't give up on my tributes, Ammon. You should know this."

"That is very admirable," Ammon said. "If there's anything I can do for you to make this easier..."

"I'm just so worried for her, Ammon," Athena said, looking at him imploringly. "You know, she's so heartbroken, and her injuries... and we don't have enough money to cover getting her the supplies we need..."

"That's an issue for you?" Ammon asked, surprised. Athena nodded. "Say no more, sweetheart, say no more! How much do you need?"

"Oh, no, Ammon, I couldn't - " Athena began.

"You're a modest woman, that much I can tell, but I insist," said Ammon. He pulled out a considerable amount of money, sliding it across the table to her. "There's four hundred right now. Should that cover it?"

"That's - that's more than enough," Athena said, keeping her satisfaction hidden expertly.

"Excellent," Ammon said. "Make good use of it."

"Ammon, I can't thank you enough - "

"Then say nothing of it," he said. "Anything that helps you is worth it."

Athena smiled at him. They talked for another half hour, wherein Athena put on a grand show of caring about him and his life, before Ammon checked his watch and said, disappointed, "I'm afraid I have to leave you now. I have a meeting soon. But please, sweetheart, stay in contact. And if you need anything else, don't hesitate to talk to me."

 _I won't_ , Athena thought, but said, "If you're sure..."

"Positive," he said, getting to his feet. He took her hand and kissed it, and Athena smiled instead of recoiling. "Until we meet again, Miss Maris."

He walked away briskly. Athena put the money in her pocket and was about to leave when something caught her eye. A family was sitting together a few tables away, apparently celebrating the oldest child's birthday. She couldn't be older than nine or ten. The two parents gave the child her present, which she unwrapped eagerly to find something that made Athena's heart stop. It was a toy spear and shield that looked horribly like the one Athena had wielded in the arena...

"Now you can be just like her!" the mother said to the child, who looked beside herself with joy.

The child hugged her parents tightly, before promptly beginning to chase her younger brother around and around the table, swinging the spear around and saying loudly, "I'm Athena Maris, I'm the victor! I'm gonna get you!"

Her parents finally pulled them back to their seats after several moments of this, but they were all laughing. The girl was still poking her brother with the spear. Athena couldn't stand to see any more. She pulled her hood lower over her face and got to her feet. She began walking away swiftly, shoving her hands in her pocket, their laughter ringing in her ears, trying not to think of the barren wasteland that had stretched on forever and the blood that she could never wash off her hands.

When she was back in the District Four suite, Finnick was alone in the sitting room. He wasn't looking at the television, instead staring at the wall opposite him like he could barely see it. He held a short length of frayed rope in his hand, and he was tying it and untying it, putting it into different knots. He looked like he was barely aware that he was doing it. This wasn't the first time Athena had seen him do it. He did it quite often, she knew, whenever he felt like the ground was crumbling and falling apart beneath him. She figured it was a good thing that he did it, all things considered. In times like these, there were worse things to do with your hands.

"Where's Alayne?"

"Went out with her friends," Finnick said distractedly. "Said she needed a pick-me-up."

"It's that easy, huh?" Athena said, a little bitterly.

"I guess it is," he said, and his tone matched hers.

A small silence.

"I have the money," she said, and took the notes, waving them around. "It was easier than I thought it'd be."

"That's good," Finnick said, with no real emotion. Then, again, "That's good."

Athena walked over closer to him, moving to stand across from him and taking in his appearance. His eyes were slightly bloodshot, his hair tousled, looking utterly unrested but completely tense and on the edge. He was a mess, and yet he said what he felt when she was in the arena was stronger. What had she done to Finnick last year? To Mags?"

"I have to meet my new client in a few hours," Finnick said. "A Gamemaker. She's gonna say she's so sorry about Trent, about Annie, and then she's gonna - she's gonna - "

He didn't continue. He didn't really have to. He untied the knot he just made and began tying a different one with vigour that was not necessarily warranted. She stared at him, her heart sinking, before she spoke on an impulse.

"Well, that rope's all frayed," Athena said suddenly. "You won't do the best knot-tying you can do with that. Hold on a second." She waited just long enough for Finnick to nod slightly before getting up and walking over to her chambers. She found another length of rope and walked back to the sitting room to hand it to him. "There. Something new. It'll be better for you. I use this kind of rope to weave baskets, so believe me, it'll last you a long time."

He stared at it for a moment, before his eyes wandered up to meet hers. She looked at him steadily, nodding once. He took the new rope and discarded the frayed, knotted one that he had been using before. He stared at the new rope in his hand, before beginning the process anew.

"Mind if I sit?" Athena asked. Finnick shook his head, so she sat down beside him.

"I miss Mags," he said, very suddenly, after a long pause. "I miss her so much."

"So do I," said Athena with a nod. "Things are always less awful with her. It's like she has magic powers."

Finnick smiled weakly. "That's what I always thought." A pause for a moment, before he added, "I'm glad she's not here, though. That she doesn't have to go through this again."

Athena hummed lowly in agreement. "So am I. Thinking about that keeps me going."

Finnick glanced over at her, before murmuring, "What you did was really brave. I know you don't think so, but it was."

"It doesn't feel like enough," Athena said, thinking of the way Trent's severed head and body fell to the ground, of all the blood that followed, of Annie's terrible, terrible scream.

"It never does..."

Athena looked over at him, before saying, "Hey, look at me. Look at me, Finnick." He looked away from the rope, up at her. He looked like he was falling apart. "We have the money. And Annie still needs our help. Let's do what we have to do."

He was silent for a moment, staring at her; then his face set, and he nodded once.

"Let's do what we have to do."

 

*

 

On the first two days after Trent's death, not much happened. One other tribute died, the boy from District Eleven, Dorian. Annie changed hiding places three times and was met with no threats. She was tending to her injuries with the supplies Athena and Finnick sent to her, and they seemed to be healing well. She cried five times, but other than that was eerily still and silent. She spent hours at a time with her eyes closed and her hands covering her ears, which terrified Athena because it meant Annie wouldn't hear any threats coming, but they didn't come regardless. Athena and Finnick got more money from sponsors to send her other gifts, food, water, things to try and keep her morale up - and to keep her alive, because they already knew she was in no state to seek these things out herself. Despite this, she ate and drank very little - worryingly little. She didn't sleep much, either. Athena and Finnick did all they could for her, but they knew, though they would not say it, that Annie Cresta would need a miracle if she was going to make it out of that arena alive.

And still there were other obligations to attend to, a Capitol that demanded they entertain them. Socialites offered condolences that always rang false, people tittered over whether Annie had any chance at all. Commentators and Capitol citizens all cooed over poor, poor Annie Cresta. They did not really care about the broken girl who was trying to hide from the world. She hated them all.

Athena could count the amount of hours of sleep she'd had since the Games on her fingers. The amount of hours of sleep she had gotten since the night before the Reaping wasn't a much bigger number. Athena wondered if there would come a time where she could handle no more and she broke once and for all. Then the television showed more shots of Annie in her newest hiding place, so she focused on that instead.

 

*

 

On the third day after Trent's death, little happened. Finnick and Athena sent Annie more food and water that she barely consumed. She tended to her wounds, changed hiding places twice. Other than that, she spent the entire day staring blankly into the distance. The commentators thought she was such a tragic, tragic thing, but it was easy to tell they were getting bored. Finnick could have killed them.

He thought of Annie and Trent all day. Being a mentor was having so much power yet none at all, just as Athena said. He had warned them of their weaknesses, and yet, in the end, he could do nothing for them...

"Just remember you're not invincible. Act accordingly," Finnick had told Trent, so why hadn't he listened? Why hadn't he known to back down from that fight with Blaze? Why hadn't he realized that some things were not worth risking your life?

"You're in over your head. It could ruin you," Finnick had told Annie, so why, oh why, hadn't she listened to him? Why hadn't she at least recognized the horrors she was about to face? Why hadn't she realized, in spite of a person's efforts, there was no such thing as being truly ready for what the arena had in store?

So much power yet none at all. And there was no getting used to this, no preparing for the inevitable pain that came every time.

 

*

 

On the fourth day, it all ended.

His new client, Clio, had hinted it while they were in bed together the night before. Finnick had tried to pry more information out of her, but all she would say with a coy smile was that everything would change after the next day. It had been so long, she explained, without any real action. These Games were already considered boring, but it was becoming borderline unbearable now. They had to do  _something._

That something, as it turned out, was an earthquake, an earthquake strong enough to break the dam. The flood that followed was unlike anything he had ever seen, flooding the entire arena. Finnick realized something with a jolt, and one glance at the look on Athena's face confirmed what he was thinking. This was Annie Cresta's miracle, because Annie Cresta was from District Four, and every single soul from District Four who could get in the water was taught to swim and swim well. And indeed, once canon after canon sounded and the flooding subsided, Annie Cresta, soaking wet and shaking from head to toe, was the only one left standing.

"Ladies and gentleman," Claudius Templesmith's voice boomed, while the sound of the live audience in the Capitol cheering loudly could be heard. Finnick, Athena, and Alayne were all sat on the sofa, watching the television, transfixed, somewhere between shocked and overwhelmingly relieved. Annie was shaking her head at the sound of Claudius and the live audience, squeezing her eyes shut and covering her ears again as she kept shaking, "I am pleased to present the winner of the Seventieth Annual Hunger Games, Annie Cresta! I give you - the pride of District Four!"

 

*

 

Athena and Finnick spent four days in the hospital room that Annie was being kept in inside the Training Center. They had managed to convince the doctors to let them both stay with her until she woke up. They sat on the floor against the wall across Annie's bed. They slept in shift to ensure they wouldn't miss it when she woke up, but they both ended up being wide awake when Annie woke up on the fourth day.

There were warnings she was waking up before it actually happened. Her body twitched, subtly at first, but it began convulsing before long. She suddenly was having trouble breathing, and noises like choked sobs escaped her mouth, getting louder and louder. Athena and Finnick exchanged looks, before leaping to their feet, each of them moving to stand at either side of Annie's bed. When she woke up, her eyes flew open and she began thrashing violently, still letting out that horrible choked noise and trying to free herself from the binds of the metal belt that strapped her down to the bed, squinting against the artificial light.

"Hey, hey! Annie, it's okay!" Finnick was saying. "It's okay, it's okay, you're safe now! You're safe!"

"You're not in the arena anymore!" Athena said. "You made it out, you're safe!"

That made Annie pause, momentarily going very still. She looked between Athena and Finnick several times. She looked around the room, bare except for the bed on which she was lying. Athena watched as Annie put the pieces together in her mind, as she realised where she was.

It did nothing to calm her down. On the contrary, she began thrashing on the bed all over again, screaming and crying out all the while. There was a sadness and a fear to her actions, but also an anger to it all. It took nearly a full hour to bring Annie back down until she was finally calm again. Still, she only shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut and covering her ears. Neither Athena nor Finnick pressed her from there. They only waited for her to come back from wherever she went in her mind.

Slowly, Annie's hands moved from her ears and she opened her eyes again. Tears were streaming down her face as she looked at them, and her voice was shaking terribly. "You two... you two tried to warn me, didn't you? You tried to warn me... I didn't listen... I didn't listen... why didn't I listen?"

Athena and Finnick exchanged looks. Athena's heart felt heavier than lead. They had both known that, in some capacity, this would happen. But if a person could ever truly be prepared for the damage the Hunger Games caused, then perhaps they could both be happier people. If a person could ever be truly prepared for the damage the Hunger Games caused, then they might have been looking at an Annie Cresta that wasn't permanently, irreversibly changed. The shared glance with Finnick confirmed one thing, though. They would need to look after Annie from that day onward. She needed them. And they knew, already, that they would be there.

Their tribute, their responsibility.


	30. XXX

**XXX**

 

The ocean that day was rougher than usual; the tides were more turbulent, the waves rising high and crashing into the side of the ship roughly. The crew on  _The Adventurer_ struggled at first with the ocean, but they soon adjusted to the rough conditions and were able to work as efficiently as always. When they were finished on the water and the ship was docked again, Athena Maris found herself with a significant amount of seafood in her net for her to sell.

"Hudson!" she called out. "I'm going to go sell now!"

Hudson turned to look at her, saw the net in her hands, and nodded, only saying, "Well, just be quick about it! You always find something to distract you..."

Athena grinned, because she knew Hudson didn't mean it. Hudson was never really worried for Athena when they were out on the water or when she was trading and selling what she had caught; anything she said to her that was similar to that comment was usually just to tease her. Hudson made no more teasing comments about pretty-eyed pastry boys, which made Athena strangely sad at first, until she decided it was probably for the best.

The streets of District Four were about as busy as they always were. Many people caught sight of her and seemed to recognize her, whispering to their friends behind their hands. Some people looked a little uncertain, like they weren't entirely sure if it was her; they were probably confused by the lack of perfect hair, makeup, and glamorous clothes, by the net full of fresh seafood that she held in her hands, and the fact that she was wearing rather casual clothes (shorts and one of her father's old sweaters). Athena was certainly a far sight away from the magazine covers where she practically looked flawless, but she didn't mind it. She thought she was better off like this.

Once she was in the marketplace, as she tended to do, she walked right towards the shadowy square with the variety of stands. She took a moment to prepare herself before continuing to her first stop. Being in the Capitol had always reminded Athena of trading and selling in the markets, having to hide her true emotions. Athena suspected that all her time at the Capitol had made her even better when it came to trading and selling, but something about that upset her, so she tried not to think about it.

Her first stop wasn't so far into the square. It was Marie's stand, but Marie wasn't there; she had been ill as of late, so her daughter, Sia, was filling in for her while her other children, a younger daughter and son, took care of her. Sia had her mother's sunkissed skin and kind smile, but a much sharper mind due to the fact that she was younger. Many people were a little disgruntled about that; they were used to taking advantage of the fact that Marie wasn't all there anymore and were rather upset that they couldn't continue this trend with Sia. Athena had always been perfect honest and fair with Marie, though, so the change didn't affect her selling in the slightest. Athena was worried for Marie, though; she had been sick for weeks now, and at her age, it was more than a little concerning... Athena had visited once with her mother and Calypso to bring her flowers and food that they had made together.

"Hello, Athena," Sia said, sitting up a little straighter as she approached. "And what do you have for me today?"

"How's eleven fresh cod sound?" Athena asked.

"Sounds good to me," Sia said with a smile. "The usual ten for each, then?"

"Sounds good," Athena said, taking out the cod and wrapping them carefully. She gave Sia the fish, and Sia gave her the money, which Athena placed carefully in a pouch. "Give Marie my best."

"I will," Sia nodded once, and Athena waved her goodbye, taking her net and walking towards her next stop.

Selene seemed to be waiting for her when Athena arrived at her stand, placing the net on the counter.

"Well, well, well," Selene said with a smirk in greeting, "I was wondering when you'd show your face around here."

"I was here last week."

"You weren't anywhere near my stand," Selene retorted.

"I had other business to attend to," Athena shrugged.

"But now you've decided I'm good enough for you? I'm hurt."

"Oh, don't play that game with me, Selene," Athena said. "You know I always look forward to these moments."

Selene rolled her eyes but smirked. "What are you here for, then, kid?"

"Figured ten fresh salmon would be of interest," Athena replied promptly.

"It might," Selene said, leaning closer toward her. "How much for them, then?"

Athena pretended to think for a moment, before saying, "One-thirty."

"You always like to dream big, don't you?" Selene said with a scoff. "You're out of your mind, though. You'll be lucky if you get one hundred off me."

Athena kept cool, because this was how it always was. "Come on, Selene, you have to remember everything we go through to get this fish to you." Selene just stared at her. "Fine. One hundred twenty-five?" Selene didn't crack. "One-twenty?" Still, nothing. "Look, one hundred fifteen is as low as I can go," Athena finally said helplessly, acting like that wasn't the amount of money she always wanted. "Anything lower and I'd practically be giving it to you for free."

"I wouldn't mind that," Selene stated, but Athena held her ground this time. "Okay, fine. One-fifteen it is."

"Glad we could come to an agreement," Athena said with a smile, wrapping up the salmon and giving it to Selene, who gave her the money. Selene got to think she won, Athena got to have the money she'd always wanted out of her. Everyone won.

"As long as you don't forget me when you're living large in the Capitol."

Athena felt her mood drop immediately. If they weren't talking about trades, Selene always wanted to talk to her about the Games and the Capitol, it was like there was nothing else but those things...

"I'd never," Athena said shortly. "See you around, Selene."

Athena grabbed her net and walked away briskly to the last stand, which was at a dark, shadowy corner.

"What do we have here?" Adrian crooned, watching her approach. "It's not everyday that I see a celebrity in our midst."

"I was here last week," Athena said again.

"So you were," Adrian said thoughtfully. "It is quite strange, the way you continue on doing these... mundane, tiresome tasks. You'd think you would've left them behind after becoming a victor."

"I must be out of my mind," Athena agreed flatly, before placing her net on the counter. "Ready to talk business?"

Adrian smirked, lifting his chin slightly. "What is it today, sweetheart?"

"Seven crabs and six lobsters," Athena replied. "All fresh, of course."

"I'm interested," he said slowly. "How about you give it to me for... let's say... ninety-five?"

"Adrian, if the roles were reversed and you were selling to me, you'd laugh in my face if I offered you that much," Athena said. "You wouldn't sell this to me for any less than ten per crab and fifteen per lobster."

"That's one-sixty in total," Adrian said, raising his eyebrows.

"One hundred sixty-five," Athena corrected. When he simply looked at her, she added, "Remember our deal that you'd add an extra five to every purchase you make from me to make sure Leia never sees my salmon."

"You're out of your mind if you think I'm paying that," Adrian shook his head. "You'd be robbing me, dollface, don't you see that?"

"Adrian, you're a smart man," Athena said, knowing flattery always worked on him. "You know that every entrepreneur sometime has to spend money to make money. This is fresh from the sea - they pay big money in the Capitol to eat food like this, you know. Imagine how much money you can make from this - you wouldn't want to let that opportunity go to waste, would you?"

Adrian still didn't look fully convinced. "It's still an awful lot of money to spend... we're not all as well off as you are now, sweetheart."

"Well, fine, then," Athena said, straightening up. "If that's how it is, I'll just have to see if our efforts at sea and this opportunity I'm offering is appreciated elsewhere."

She cast a lingering look in the direction of Leia's stand. That was enough; Adrian could be rather cheap and stubborn, but when it came to it, he never wanted to lose the business she and everyone on  _The Adventurer_ gave him; he especially did not want to lose it to Leia, who was his arch-nemesis for reasons Athena didn't fully know herself.

"Fine, one hundred sixty-five it is," he said, pulling out the money, "but only so that you see how much I appreciate your efforts - and how I'll never let a good opportunity go to waste."

"Great," Athena said, pleased, and promptly began wrapping the crab and lobster for him. "I'm glad we're in agreement."

She handed him the seafood, and he gave her the money, which she placed in the pouch.

"I hope it won't be long until we next see you around here, sweetheart," Adrian said. "There would be these long periods without any sight of you..."

"You knew where I was, Adrian," Athena said flatly. "You saw it on television."

He was referring to the last Games, of course, and Annie's Victory Tour that had only ended a couple months ago. Not only that, but Athena and Finnick had both been called into the Capitol on two other occasions for a few days, there to do photoshoots and go to parties and make speeches and attend other televised events. Athena hated being at their beck and call in such a way, but she had no other choice. Fortunately, no other visits to the Capitol were scheduled for any of the victors until it was time for Athena and Finnick to continue as mentors in the seventy-first Hunger Games.

"That is true," Adrian mused. "Still, your presence is always so sorely missed when you're gone... but it must be so exciting to be able to live the Capitol life so often."

"It's an absolute riot," Athena said shortly, grabbed her empty net, and already began to walk away, calling over her shoulder, "See you around, Adrian."

As Athena was walking out of the square, she passed Salton's stand. Salton himself was nowhere to be found, but Marlin Sedna was there, hard at work as he rung up a customer. She could see the golden pin of two joined hands, that had once rested on Kai Emerson's chest, now placed proudly on Marlin's, gleaming as sunlight filtered into the square and shone upon it. As the customer walked away with their newly purchased product, Marlin looked up and they made eye contact. They hadn't spoke since the day she returned his pin. For a moment, they just stared at each other. Then, slowly, Marlin nodded at her once. A sign of acknowledgement, of respect, of understanding. Athena, relieved, returned the gesture. Then Marlin looked back down at the counter, and Athena continued on her way out of the square.

Athena began to make her way out of the marketplace, when she saw Ian Shad, who was exiting the pastry shop at which he worked. He caught her eye. They only looked at each other for a moment, before Ian smiled tentatively and waved. A friendly gesture. Athena smiled back, pleased by it, and waved. They had spoken a few times since the day he kissed her and she turned him down; they were rather awkward conversations, but there was an understanding when they looked at and spoke to each other, a desire to move forward and be... well, friendly, at least. Athena appreciated it. It made things much easier for her. The two went their separate ways.

Hudson was checking to make sure that her ship was docked correctly when Athena made it back to the docks.

"How much?" Hudson asked immediately, when she caught sight of Athena approaching her.

"Three hundred ninety total," Athena replied, taking the money out of her pouch and handing it to Hudson. "One-ten from Sia, one-fifteen from Selene, and one hundred sixty-five from Adrian."

"That's what I like to hear," Hudson said with a satisfied smile. "Adrian's still paying an extra five for every purchase?"

Athena nodded in confirmation.

"Excellent. That's my girl," Hudson said, and promptly handed her a portion of the money.

Athena had gone from getting sixty percent of the profit to twenty. Athena would've worked for free, because she really only kept doing this because she liked it and wanted to keep busy. It wasn't like she needed the money anyway, but Hudson refused point blank not to pay her.

"Now hurry along home," Hudson said. "You've earned it."

Athena smiled at the praise, collected her spear, and left the docks once more, this time heading for Victor's Village. When she walked through the wrought-iron gate, nobody was outside save for Lillian, Murphy, and Noah. Lillian was sitting on her porch, reading as per usual.

Athena waved to her as she passed. Lillian waved back but said, "You owe me my book! And a full review!"

"And you'll get it," Athena assured her.

"I expect it for tomorrow!"

"It'll be on your desk by nine o'clock," Athena said with a salute, which made Lillian crack a smile.

Noah and Murphy were going back and forth between wrestling on Noah's lawn and drinking.

"It's barely noon," Athena called out to them, nodding at the bottles in their hands.

"It's never too early for whiskey," Murphy replied. "Remember that and you'll go far."

Athena shook her head and rolled her eyes, but she was smiling as she unlocked her front door and walked into her house. It was empty; Calypso didn't have school but she was with Sirena and her mother was working (a few months ago, her mother got a job helping Mayor Trenton with organisation; Athena couldn't help but think how much that could've helped them in the months they had little money between them. Still, better last than never, and it kept her mother busy, which she insisted was good for her). Athena carefully put her spear and net in their designated place, and was out the door right after, her new destination being the beach.

The beach was a little windier than usual, but the breeze still felt pleasant, blowing at her clothes and the curls that had escaped her ponytail. It was a cloudy day, so the beach seemed darker than usual, but Athena still thought it was beautiful. It didn't take long for Athena to find her; she was sitting where she always sat, right at the shore. She was staring into the horizon with the same small, dreamy smile on her face that she usually had, quietly humming the tune to some song Athena didn't recognize. The wind blew her long, dark hair all over. The waves crashed against her legs; the tides were higher than usual, so they got some of her pant legs wet, despite them being rolled up. She didn't seem to notice.

Athena walked up to her until she was standing beside her. "Mind if I sit?"

Annie Cresta didn't look up at her, still staring off into the distant horizon, but she nodded once, slowly. Athena settled into the sand beside her, taking off her leather shoes, shoving her socks in them, and placing them beside her, in a similar fashion to what Annie had done. Athena brought her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs, and said nothing. Sometimes Annie needed to be coaxed out of the places her mind would go, sometimes she needed someone else to talk before her, sometimes they would just sit in silence the entire time, but sometimes, she needed to talk first.

Because oh, didn't everyone know? Poor Annie Cresta was different now. Poor Annie Cresta stayed at the beach for hours at a time, sitting in the sand while the tides crashed against her ankles. Poor Annie Cresta didn't open up to her darling parents the way she used to, even though they were once so close. Poor Annie Cresta wasn't the outgoing, confident, bubbly, social girl anymore; she didn't talk much and she'd spend so long staring off into space and cover her ears and close her eyes when she heard or saw something she didn't like and cried and broke down so often and laughed when there was nothing to laugh about. Poor Annie Cresta's interviews with Caesar Flickerman were so much shorter than usual, because she could only handle it for so long and once she broke down, there was nothing much to entertain the Capitol, and everyone knew, of course, that was the thing that mattered. Poor Annie Cresta started screaming and crying during her speech at the academy upon her return, so that Finnick had to lead her away to comfort her and Athena had to take over at the microphone. Poor Annie Cresta could barely get through a single speech during her Victory Tour without shaking and crying (Athena found and comforted Annie in the same storage closet in the District Eight Justice Building that Finnick had found and comforted her in, the same one Mags had once found and comforted Finnick; it really did seem to be a rite of passage for mentors). Poor Annie Cresta had to leave the party at the Capitol in her honour early, because it overwhelmed her, all the people and the way they spoke to her and touched her and demanded her for more when they had already taken so much. She was the talk of Panem, poor Annie Cresta and the mad, broken girl she had become.

Athena hated the way they all talked about Annie. They didn't understand a single thing about her, and none of them seemed to want to try. There could be much more fun had gossiping and whispering behind their hands about how District Four's newest victor was a mad girl. But the conversation, now that the Victory Tour was over, was already starting to fade away. The Capitol didn't have much fun with a mad girl who could barely get through an interview or a speech, who didn't react to the Games the way they wanted her to, who couldn't just keep smiling blankly and laughing emptily and spewing out the old lies like a good victor, and so they were already discarding her. Annie didn't mind this. She wasn't mad like they say, only unstable, and she wanted to be left alone. Athena knew this to be a good thing, too; the farther Annie stayed from the Capitol, the better.

They sat there in silence for a very, very long time, until Annie said finally, "It feels like no one remembers he existed except me."

Athena didn't have to ask who she meant by 'he.' Nobody talked about Trent Minnow, the way nobody had talked about Kai Emerson, the way nobody had talked about Dory Ermin after they all had the nerve to die in that arena that had called for their deaths.

"It seems that way, doesn't it?" Athena agreed. "I feel that way, too, sometimes. A lot of the times. But I remember him, if it means anything. So does Finnick."

"I guess you two would," Annie said quietly. "Mentors and everything. I guess it'd be impossible for you to forget..."

"You're not wrong," Athena said with a sigh.

Another silence. The sound of the rough waves crashing against the shore were loud in Athena's ears. They sounded like a mournful thing.

"I could never do it," Annie said unsteadily, breaking it. "Mentor, I mean. I couldn't stand it."

"That's okay," Athena said slowly. There had been no plans to make Annie a mentor in the first place, especially not if Athena could've helped it. "Me and Finnick will keep doing it. Me and Finnick can handle it."

Annie rested her cheek on her knees, looking over at Athena instead rather thoughtfully. "I've been watching you these past few months... it looks like that's all you two do... take care of things, take care of people..."

Athena tried to shrug this comment of. "We just do what we have to. What we can."

Another silence, this one stretching on for much, much longer. Athena didn't press Annie, only sat serenely in silence beside her.

"My parents still don't get it," Annie muttered, looking down at the sand and frowning. "They expected everything to be back to normal by now. They ask all these questions, but - what can I even tell them? What can I say that they'd understand? I mean," she glanced over at Athena, "do you tell your mother and sister about this stuff?"

"Some things," Athena said slowly. "Not everything. They don't understand, but they try."

"They try," Annie muttered, looking back over at the horizon. "They try... that must make a difference."

Annie looked distinctly bothered by this, but she didn't say anything else. They continued sitting side by side in the sand in silence. They must have been there for hours now. Eventually, Athena looked over at Annie and said, "We should go."

Annie hesitated. "I don't know if I - "

Athena understood at once. Annie loved her parents very very much, but she also needed a lot of time apart from the prying questions and the tired sighs and the disconnect that existed between them now.

"We can go to Mags'," Athena said. "She'll be gardening today, we can help her for a while."

Annie looked relieved at the suggestion. When Mags and Annie met formally, Mags had taken one look at Annie up close and wrapped her in a tight hug like they had known each other for years. After, Mags gave Athena and Finnick a significant look, and they both knew what it meant immediately; Mags would be there to look after Annie just the same. Mags and Annie had gotten along immediately, friends like they had known each other for years, which made sense - people with kind-hearted personalities like theirs made it easy to find friendships in each other.

"That works."

Athena grinned. "Come on, then."

Athena put her socks and shoes back on, and after a small pause, Annie followed suit. When they got to their feet, Athena made to start walking away, but Annie grabbed her arm quite suddenly to stop her.

"What is it?" Athena asked, looking at her questioningly.

"I - I want to get better," Annie said, very quickly, like she was scared she wouldn't be able to say it if she didn't get it out all at once. "I want to move forward. I want to be open. And I think I will be. I just... it's so..."

She trailed off, apparently not able to find the words. Athena understood, though.

"I get it," she said, taking Annie's hand and giving it a small squeeze. "Trust me, I do. We all do - all the victors, I mean. And we're here for you. I know sometimes it doesn't seem like it with some of them, but they'll be there if you need them. And I'll always be there. So will Finnick and Mags."

Annie smiled gratefully. "And I - I'll always be there too. It might not mean much, I know I'm not - I'm not - "

Athena just pulled her into a hug. For a moment, Annie just stood there in surprise, before hugging her back as tightly as she could. The tides hadn't calmed, but Athena found the sound of the waves soothing to her. Athena held her at arm's length when they pulled away.

"You're more than enough," Athena said, very firmly. "And it means a lot to me, Annie. Now," she added, after a pause, "let's go see Mags. A noble cause awaits us."

"Cutting the weeds growing in her garden is a noble cause?" she asked with raised eyebrows and a smile.

"Of course it is," Athena said, like this should be obvious, as they started leaving the beach. "We're doing good work, Annie. And she always invites us to tea after."

"A fitting reward for such a noble cause."

"Exactly," Athena said with a laugh.

They arrived at Mags' house in perfect time; she was just leaving her house with all her gardening tools.

"We're here to make ourselves useful," Athena said matter-of-factly, when Mags caught sight of them walking up the garden path.

"Well," Mags said slowly, "that's always nice to hear. Come here, then."

They worked on tending to Mags' garden for the better part of two hours, talking amicably all the while. Annie had been working on learning sign language ever since she'd met Mags. Athena helped her a lot in this aspect, since she had been in Annie's shoes not so long ago. Learning was slow for Annie (which was no surprise, considering all she had weighing on her brain on top of learning a whole new method of communication), but she was learning, which was what mattered.

Afterwards, they went inside Mags' house for tea as per usual, washing the dirt and soil off themselves. They were settled in the dining room before long, and Annie sang to herself as she put the usual amount of sugar in each of their cups. Annie sang quite often, Athena discovered after the Games; when she was happy and sad, comfortable and uncomfortable. She also had a rather pretty voice that was always pleasant to hear. It made it quite easy when it came time to picking Annie's talent; she hadn't really needed to learn or practice anything, since she already had a pretty voice and knew a lot of songs to sing. It was the one part of Annie's Victory Tour that had come easy to her. Whenever they were around each other, Calypso and Annie always sang songs together. It always lifted Athena's spirits to see and hear.

"I do appreciate all the help," Mags said, the way she always did.

"It's no problem," Annie said, and Athena nodded in agreement. "We're always happy to do such noble work."

Athena grinned, biting back a laugh. "Don't worry about it. We're just passionate about gardening," she added, at the slightly bemused look on Mags' face.

"Right. I won't ask," Mags said, taking a sip of her tea, and Athena and Annie exchanged amused looks. "But if you two were so passionate about gardening, you should've made it your talents."

"Singing was probably best for me," Annie said matter-of-factly. "I didn't really have to do anything, which was nice."

"And I'm actually kind of good at art now," Athena added, "which I wasn't before I made it my talent, so I call that a win."

"You're more than kind of good," Annie said. "Your painting of me was the best I've looked in ages."

"You should give yourself some credit," Athena said with a sip of her tea. "I was only painting what I saw. It's not like I took any creative liberties - and I usually like taking those."

"That much is obvious," Mags said. "The drawing of the giant man-eating squid from Calypso's dream is still my favourite."

"I liked the ridiculously disproportionate sketch of Finnick," Annie said.

Athena smiled at the comment. That sketch was among the few drawings she made of Finnick that other people were actually allowed to see; other ones, where she drew him as beautiful as he really was, were kept private. She didn't know how she'd be able to explain it away and she found she didn't really want to explain it to anyone. She hardly wanted to explain it to herself.

"Speaking of which," said Mags. "Have either of you seen Finnick today?"

"I don't think he's left the house today," Athena replied. There were days like that for all of them, of course. Athena and Finnick had returned from a trip to the Capitol two weeks ago and he had stayed cooped up in his house since their return; he needed coaxing to get out as of late. "I was going to see him later today."

Mags nodded once, approving, while Annie muttered with a smirk, "That should do the trick."

"Hey," Athena said, having heard her, and pointed a finger at her in an accusatory fashion, "Don't think I didn't hear that."

"It's not an insult to either of you," Annie pointed out. "I'm just saying... you two are obviously - " she cut herself off abruptly. The smile on her face faded, before she hitched it back on and said bracingly, "very good friends. You're obviously very good friends. That's all."

The atmosphere became considerably more tense after that. Athena knew why Annie had changed tact like that, of course. Athena and Finnick had told Annie during her Victory Tour about how he was a slave to the Capitol, and how it meant in extension that he couldn't ever be with anyone he actually loved, no matter who it was. Finnick initially didn't want to tell her because he didn't want to burden her with the information, but Annie had made a few teasing remarks during the Tour about Athena and Finnick. The three of them had been alone when she said them, but they couldn't risk her saying the wrong things to the wrong people, so they told her. After that, Annie became much more careful about what she said about them.

There was a long silence. Athena was playing with her fingers idly, twiddling her fingers together. Mags looked an odd combination of amused and sad. Annie was staring out the window, humming quietly to herself.

Eventually, Annie stood abruptly. Her face had that faraway look to it again. Athena and Mags exchanged surprised looks, before getting to their feet as well.

"I should go," she said finally. "My parents... I should go."

Athena and Mags both nodded, bidding her goodbye. Right before she left, though, Athena grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Hey," said Athena, looking her directly in the eyes, "we'll see you soon, okay?"

Slowly, Annie nodded, a smile forming on her face. She looked a little more comforted. "Okay."

Once Annie had left, Athena turned to Mags, murmuring, "I should go soon, too... I'll help you clean up, though."

They worked in pleasant silence as they washed and cleaned away all the dishes. When they were almost finished, Athena glanced over at Mags and said, "How have you been? Really?"

Mags looked over at Athena and smiled gently. "I'm okay, Athena, really. Getting on as best as I can..."

Athena studied her a little closer, as though to make sure she was being honest. When she saw that she was, she nodded and smiled. "I'm glad."

"And you? How have you been?"

"Okay," Athena said without thinking about it, then really considered it. "Well... surviving. Glad I'm home. And that I don't have to leave again until... well, you know."

Mags nodded once, knowing she meant the Reaping. "Athena, I wanted to thank you again for - "

"You don't have to thank me," Athena said immediately, and when Mags opened her mouth to argue, added, "I mean it, Mags. Mentoring... hasn't been easy, but I don't regret the choice that I made. If anything, I should be thanking you for looking after my mother and sister."

"Oh, that was no trouble," Mags said matter-of-factly. "They're good people. It's a friendship I'm glad I made."

Athena's mother, sister, and Mags had all hit it off right away, getting along immediately and forming a close friendship. Even after Athena and Finnick's return, they'd often talk and spend time together without them. It was sort of weird to her that her mother, sister, and Mags, who had only met because of her, now spent time together on their own, but once she got used to the idea, she was quite glad for it. She was glad they had each other now, glad they'd have each other when she and Finnick were away.

"Yeah," Athena said with a smile, "they really like you too."

"I'm glad," Mags nodded, smiling herself.

When they were finished cleaning up, they turned to face each other.

"Mags," Athena said, and wanted to try and think of some way to tell her how glad she was to have her around, but when she looked more closely into Mags' face, found there was nothing to say. Mags already understood. "I'll see you later."

Mags pulled her into a tight hug, and Athena hugged her back immediately. It was a comforting thing, Mags holding her and rubbing her back lightly, understanding everything without needing to be told. When they pulled away, Mags held her at arm's length and nodded once. "I'll see you."

As she was walking back home, Athena caught sight of Calypso a few feet ahead of her, apparently back from her time with Sirena. Athena took off at a run, calling out, "Race you to the house!"

Calypso turned around, surprised, to see Athena running forward. She was so surprised that she forgot to start moving until Athena had already passed her, laughing, and was running towards their house. By the time Calypso started running, Athena had gotten the head start she needed and reached the front door a full ten seconds before her younger sister.

"Better luck next time, Lypso," Athena said with a grin, as she came to a stop in front of her, a little out of breath.

"You had a head start!" Calypso complained, crossing her arms and frowning. " _And_ longer legs!"

"They're not that much longer," Athena pointed out, and it was true; despite there being eight years between them and Calypso only being eleven, Athena really wasn't that much taller than her sister. In all likelihood she would grow to be much taller than Athena.

"That's true," Calypso conceded. "What went wrong with you that made you so short?"

"Shut up," Athena warned, pulling out her key and unlocking the door, "or I'll lock you out."

"You'd never," Calypso said confidently, striding into the house as Athena opened the door, which was completely true but besides the point, in her mind.

"How's Sirena?" Athena asked, after closing and locking the door behind them.

"She's good," Calypso replied, as they kicked off their shoes. "She told me to say hi to you and Mom."

"What about me?" said their mother, poking her head into the hallway from the sitting room, evidently back from her day with Mayor Trenton. "Oh, good, you're both back. You can help me with dinner, then." Athena and Calypso trooped into the kitchen after their mother, who said again, "What about me?"

"Sirena," said Calypso. "She says hi."

"Oh, I like her," their mother said idly. "Give her my best."

"Me too," Athena piped up.

Cooking together was a rather pleasant thing; Calypso sang songs while they worked, Athena would pause to drum two spoons on the counter to the beat of whatever song she was singing, and their mother would laugh but smack them lightly around the head and remind them to stay focused. They spent a lot of time singing and dancing to  _The Turn of the Tide_ ; the song had always meant a lot to them, but it seemed to carry even more significance now. Occasionally, Athena would glance over at them, talking amicably as they worked in sync, and was overwhelmed with that feeling she tended to get since her Reaping, that there was an insurmountable barrier between the two of them, that she was failing them - but then they would look over and smile and say something to her that made her laugh and the feeling would go away again - if only temporarily.

The food, when it was finished, was excellent, and they joked around the whole time they ate. Many times, eating was hard (sometimes it felt like she was still in that barren desert, living off of scraps, so that anything else felt wrong), but today was almost easy. As they finished doing the dishes and washing up, after her mother and Calypso told her they were intending to see Mags later that evening and she was telling them about going to see Finnick, she thought about what he was doing, by himself in that big house. Most days if he didn't leave the house, he didn't leave bed either... he probably hadn't eaten...

"I'm going to need some of these leftovers," she announced, an idea forming in her head. A few moments later, she stood in satisfaction with a plate of leftovers wrapped in foil in her hands. "I'll be back!" she called over her shoulder as she walked out of the house again, heading for the house directly across hers.

 

*

 

Finnick Odair had spent the majority of his day looking out the window. His curtains weren't drawn, so he could stare freely out the window from where he was lying on his bed, which he had only left once since he had woken up (it had been to wash up, thinking it might motivate him to get moving again, but he had still drifted back, inevitably, towards his room and his bed). There wasn't that much to see, really, besides the grey clouds moving slowly and the occasional bird that would fly past. He wasn't really paying attention to what was outside, though, mainly lost in his own thoughts. It usually wasn't a good thing, letting his mind wander, because once he got stuck there it was hard to get back out. It was typically good for poetry, though, and indeed, his notebook was strewn across the mattress along with a pen, having written several that day alone. It wasn't really a great consolation, though.

He was thinking about his slight hunger that had been persisting all day when there was a sharp knock on a door, bringing him abruptly out of his thoughts. For a split second, in his surprise, he thought it was a canon or the footsteps of the tributes that had always seemed too close, and he reached out for something, maybe a trident that once used to be able to protect him, but found nothing. He took a moment to remember where he was, and when the sound came again, he realized what the noise really was.

He considered staying in bed until they thought he was asleep or out, until he heard, faintly, a beautifully familiar voice that always made him feel a little warmer, call out, "Finnick! It's me!"

Finally, for the second time that day, Finnick got out of bed slowly. Rubbing his face blearily and running a hand through his hair, he made his way to the door, opening it to find, as expected, Athena there, her hands behind her back.

"Good morning."

She raised her eyebrows. "It's nearly six in the evening."

"I'm only about six hours off, then," Finnick shrugged. "What's up?"

"Just wanted to see you," she shrugged, which admittedly pleased him greatly. "I have a surprise." He looked at her questioningly. She moved her hands from behind her back to reveal a plate wrapped in foil. "It's food," she explain, probably unnecessarily, "since I'm assuming you haven't eaten..."

Finnick said nothing to confirm or deny that - but evidently, he did not need to do so, either. She had known without ever needing to be told. He thought about it often, the fact that she had come to know him so well, the fact that he'd let her come to know him so well. It should've been rather terrifying, the way she'd crept up on him and gotten through boundary after boundary, the way he'd let her do it - helped her do it, really - after so many years being closed off to all but Mags, and in some ways, it  _was_ terrifying; but he found more than anything it brought him a peace he thought he'd never feel (it almost didn't matter that the rest of reality would always catch up to them and rip it away again). It felt good. It felt right. He looked up from the wrapped-up plate to the smile on her face and found he didn't know what to say.

"I - Athena - I -"

But Athena understood already, and he supposed he couldn't be surprised by it anymore. "Don't mention it."

He moved aside to let her in, and she stepped into the house, kicking off her worn leather shoes and moving towards the dining room. He followed behind her.

"It's still hot, too, so..." she was saying matter-of-factly, placing the plate on the table. She pointed at the empty seat, saying, "Sit. Eat."

Finnick obeyed without a word, sitting down at the indicated chair and unwrapping the foil. The hunger that felt mild before suddenly turned into ravenousness, and he wasted little time in beginning to eat. Athena settled into the seat across from him.

"Who made this?" he asked as he ate.

"It was a collective effort from all the Maris women," she replied. "Me and Calypso supplied a lot of live entertainment, you should've been there."

"I can only imagine," said Finnick. After a pause, he added, "This is really good."

"I'll send the other two chefs your regards," Athena said, smiling, clearly satisfied with the compliment, which made him glad he said it.

There was a comfortable silence, before he asked, "How was your day?"

"Good," she shrugged. "Spent the morning at the docks before selling - brought back a good amount of money, too. Then I went to the beach to see Annie."

"How is she?" Finnick asked, concerned, already regretting the past few days he had spent mainly wallowing on his own. He hadn't seen Annie at all... he was supposed to look after her..

"She's good," Athena said, and he noticed her playing idly with one of the loose threads of the oversized sweater she was wearing, probably once belonging to her father. "She wasn't bad today. I stayed with her at the beach for a while, but I got her to come with me to see Mags. We helped her with the garden for a while, then we had tea. She had to leave eventually, though; her parents were probably gonna be worried, and..."

Athena trailed off. She didn't really need to finish. Finnick was already aware of the rift that had come between Annie and her parents. Nobody in Victors Village was particularly fond of Annie's parents, particularly not Finnick, Athena, and Mags, who all though they weren't trying nearly hard enough to be there for their daughter.

"I should see them," Finnick said thoughtfully. "Both of them." He added, thinking of Mags. He had already gone far too long without seeing her smile or hearing her laugh or seeing how she was, he thought.

He glanced over at Athena, though, the sun illuminating her frame, and found he had no desire to leave her any time soon. He had realized, somewhere along the way, that she had become his best friend. Granted, Finnick didn't have many friends, but she had settled comfortably somewhere in his heart (around right beside where Mags had settled in years ago, where Annie was beginning to reach, growing on him more and more in a way he hadn't really expected when he met her on the day of her Reaping) and no intention of moving, and he was glad for it, relieved by it. He had all but cleared the way for her to do it, after all.

Painfully often, he found he wanted more than friendship with Athena, found he wanted her closer, and sometimes it even felt within reach - until there came along the inevitable reminder that no such thing could ever happen. It was a risk that could not be taken. The blow from the reminder - the sadness, the disappointment - never quite dissipated, but with no other option, he blocked the feelings firmly from his mind, denied them thoroughly, tried not to linger on the idea. Athena likely would not want him anyway, he decided on the rare occasion he allowed himself to think about it. She deserved much, much more. Besides, Finnick Odair would much rather have Athena Maris as a friend, as a best friend, than not at all. As long as she was there, he could handle anything that came next. As long as she was there, he would be okay.

For now, he only said, firmly, "Later, though. Later."

 

*

 

"How was the water today?"

"Rougher than usual," Athena said in reply to Finnick's question, already knowing why he was asking. "And not in the fun challenge way, more in the this is really straining and challenging way. It wasn't outright dangerous or anything, but... not the best conditions."

"Ah," Finnick said, looking a little disappointed. "I was thinking we could go sailing for a bit..."

"There's always the cave," Athena pointed out.

He grinned. "Yeah. Cave works for me."

"We can go whenever you're ready," Athena said, stretching, and though it was far from the first time they had been there together, she felt excitement building up slowly at the fact that they would go back. "You should finish eating, though."

"Trust me, Wise One, you don't have to tell me twice," he said matter-of-factly, gesturing at the food with his fork, "this is great and I haven't eaten in - well, that doesn't matter. This is really good."

"Now you're just kissing up," Athena said with a smile, but she was concerned thinking about how long he had gone without eating... at least he was now, she supposed.

"You want criticism?" he said with raised eyebrows. "In that case, I feel like the live entertainment would add to it."

"Well, all you had to do was ask," Athena said cheerfully, leaping to her feet and striding into the kitchen. She gestured at the drawers. "May I?"

"Go for it."

She took out two spoons and promptly began drumming on every surface available to the rhythm of different songs, at varying speeds and volumes. She continued doing it long after Finnick was finished eating, watching through the doorway from his seat with an amused smile on his face, until finally he spoke, having to raise his voice over the sound of the drumming, laughing a little as he did.

"Alright, alright, I think I get it!"

She stopped, grinning, but said, pointing a spoon at him accusingly, "You did ask for this."

"That's true," he conceded. "It did make the experience a lot more unique."

"I'm glad you appreciate my talent," Athena said with a bow that moved the behaviours of the Capitol citizens. Finnick picked up on it at once, grinning. "I appreciate you appreciating me."

"You know I live to please you," he said. She raised her eyebrows, struggling to restrain an amused smirk. He considered what he just said, then closed his eyes, looking rather sheepish and embarrassed, especially considering the seductive nature Finnick had long since been comfortable exuding (only when there were no stakes, though, when it was just them, and no one with odd accents that always tried to own him). "Passing over how suggestive that sounded, I think talent is a bit of a stretch. There's a reason you didn't pick something musical as your talent."

"Of course," Athena said, "my potential was being suppressed."

Finnick snorted. Athena pointed a spoon at him again threateningly.

"Don't think I won't use this thing."

"What are you going to do?" he said, raising his eyebrows. "Poke me to death?"

"Probably possible," she said stubbornly. "Besides, you and I both know there are ways to kill someone - or at least cause serious injuries - with a spoon."

He consideHered this. "True. But still - hey, I did say you made the experience more unique, didn't I?"

"That's true, you did," she conceded. "But that's probably because you knew I'd kill you."

"You'd never."

"Don't try me, Odair."

"Come on," Finnick said with a grin, "you love me."

"Have you ever thought about the extent of how delusional you are?" Athena said mildly.

"Don't act like you could ever resist my good looks, charm, or dangerous bad boy appeal."

"Your dangerous bad boy appeal," Athena repeated disbelievingly.

"You heard me."

She gave him a look, before putting down the spoons and walking towards him. She stepped in front of him, bending so that their faces were level and leaning towards him. Her lips were only inches from hers. She pretended not to notice.

"Finnick," she said calmly, "your best friend is a seventy-five year-old woman."

"And you," he said suddenly. "A seventy-five year-old woman and you."

Athena couldn't stop the smile that came then, spreading across her face slowly. She bit down on her lip, glancing down at the ground as she said, "Well, now I know you're really in trouble."

He grinned. "It's worth the trouble." His face became a little more serious. "You really are, you know. My best friend, I mean."

It was odd to her how quickly someone could become a best friend. She hadn't even realized she'd never really had a best friend until Finnick became hers. Because he really was, she supposed, her best friend, he and Mags and slowly but surely, Annie as well. She wasn't sure exactly when, in the midst of what her life became the day Alayne Stentor called out her name at the Reaping, that had come about, but she knew she was glad for it. She could not even begin to imagine a life without Finnick and the fact that she had spent a full seventeen years without him and thinking lowly of him on the rare occasion he did cross her mind felt odd, even foreign to her.

Oftentimes, she would find herself wishing for something else with him, something more, wishing for lingering touches or glances that didn't have to be written off as strictly friendly, wishing for something that sometimes would feel right there within reach - but then reality would always come soon enough (perhaps too soon) to bring the thought out of her mind. It could never happen. They could not risk it. It would be a dangerous, dangerous thing, though being with Finnick often felt like anything but dangerous. The impossibility of it all often filled her with disappointment and an aching sort of sadness, coupled with worry and sadness for Finnick. She tried to push the former two feelings from her mind, ignored and firmly denied that those desires even existed in the first place. It tended to be easier that way. Besides, it wasn't as if Finnick would ever feel the same way about her, anyway. And at least she could always be his friend. If having him as a friend, as a best friend, was the only way she could have him in her life, then so be it. When it came to Finnick Odair, Athena Maris would take what she could get.

And she had never said it out loud before, she realised, but she said now, "You're mind too. You're my best friend, too."

He smiled, somewhere between happiness and relief and something else, before saying quietly, "Now who's in trouble?"

"Both of us, probably," Athena said.

"Probably," Finnick breathed.

Their faces were so close still, but they were letting themselves forget, and that was what they could not do. She moved away from him abruptly, standing upright again. He appeared to be coming out of a trance. She cleared her throat and said briskly, "So. Cave?"

"Yeah," Finnick said slowly. "Cave. Let me - uh - let me get changed, though."

He got up and disappeared up the stairs, only to return a few minutes later, changed and a little more cleaned up. Athena vowed to return for the plate later, and so they trooped out of the house. Murphy and Noah had given up on wrestling and were now just focusing their energy on getting more inebriated. They called out to them in their drunken state, and Athena and Finnick waved back.

"I worry about them sometimes," Athena said with a small frown.

"So do I," he admitted, "but I help them with control, making sure they don't drink too much. I'd know all about it, since - well, you know."

And she did, thinking immediately of the years Finnick had spent helping his aunt with her alcoholism. She nodded once in understanding.

Next they passed Annie's house. They couldn't see her in any of the windows. She could've been anywhere in there, trying to close the distance between herself and her parents again or locking herself away from everyone else...

"Hey," Finnick nudged her, and she knew from one look at his face that he knew what she was thinking, "you said today was a good day."

"It was," said Athena, sighing. "I just worry for her..."

"I do too," Finnick admitted, looking back over at the big white house. "I'll see her later and see how she's doing. But she's tough. She's had to be to make it this far. She'll make it through."

Which, of course, was completely true. Athena nodded once, reassured. Next was the Nereus twins' house; they were at the window staring outside, when they made eye contact with Athena and Finnick, who waved at them. Penelope and Talisa cast uncertain glances at each other, before smiling tentatively and waving back.

"You really got them out of their shell," Finnick said, as they kept walking. "None of us could really do it after their Games."

"They don't really need anything but time and a couple tries to get it right," Athena shrugged.

They passed by Lillian, who was still outside reading, but seemed particularly engrossed in a passage, so they left her to read in peace. Athena's mother, Calypso, and Mags were all sitting on Mags' porch, all of the laughing as Mags was telling them a story.

"We've been replaced," Finnick said with a shake of his head as they passed them.

"You're welcome to join us as any time!" Mags said loudly, evidently having heard him.

Athena's mother and Calypso both laughed, and Athena and Finnick couldn't help but grin as they glanced at each other. He looked at her with slightly raised eyebrows, a silent question. Athena, understanding immediately, nodded once. Finnick turned to Athena's mother, Calypso, and Mags, and said, "We'll see you in a bit."

They all just nodded. None of them, not even Athena's mother, seemed concerned about where they were going. They stopped being worried when it came to Finnick a long time ago. Athena and Finnick kept walking. Soon they reached the beach, walking along the coast until they reached the cave that seemed to exist at the end of the universe. They were quick to settle in the dimly lit cave, sitting next to each other on the sand and leaning against the rough cave wall, talking quietly. Before long, he stretched out on the ground, placing his head on her lap and positioning himself so that he could stare out the mouth of the cave at the horizon, the ocean in view.

"Comfortable?" Athena asked with raised eyebrows.

"Very," he said with a smirk.

She shook her head, but she was smiling, not really minding it at all. Her hands found their way to his hair, playing with it with her fingers, and smiled, with perhaps a bit too much fondness swelling in her chest, at the way he leaned almost instinctively into her touch.

"You weren't kidding about the tides today," he commented lightly. "That must have been hell to be sailing in."

"We got through it," Athena shrugged. "Always do."

He glanced up at her at that, a small smile on his face. "Yeah. I guess so."

Athena got the distinct impression they were talking about more than just sailing at that moment. It was still true, though; Finnick was often very hard on himself, but given all he had been through, from the death of his parents to taking care of his aunt to his Games to his aunt's death to having to mentor year after year to essentially being a sexual slave to the Capitol, Athena was only glad he was even still there and trying to push through day after day. As for her... Kai Emerson's ghost still frequented District Four, the Hopper sisters were in mirrors, Rowan's smile yet also the look on his face when he drew his last breath in sunsets, and Cara's knowing looks and fear as she bled out in daggers and blonde hair put in plaits. Her father's death, his absence, was felt so deeply by her that it often threatened to suffocate her. The threat Snow posed to herself and everyone she cared about hung over her head constantly, like a blade about to descend on her neck and sever it from her body (like Lana Ryker's, like Trent Minnow's, like - ). But she was still here, at least. She figured that had to count for something.

They were silent for a time. Athena kept playing with Finnick's hair, and Finnick was drawing lines in the sand slowly. He went back to staring into the horizon, and soon Athena did the same herself, her eyes on the ocean, at the high-rising tides, the way they would crash against the shore. The sound of it was everything all at once; it mourned and cried and grieved with her, it celebrated and laughed and rejoiced with her, it encouraged her and pushed her forward, and it was always there, day after day, calling to her, grounding her, reminding her she was home. Sometimes, when she closed her eyes, she almost felt like it was coming from her, that vastness somehow being contained within her body. It was a nice feeling. It made her stop feeling too small, made her stop feeling weighed down, if only for a moment.

"It's nice, being back," Finnick said, saying what she was thinking.

"I know," she said, making to braid his hair until she realized it wasn't long enough. She went back to playing with it idly. It was getting quite long; he had been letting it grow out as of late. She sort of liked it, but he'd probably have to get it trimmed for the next Reaping...

"I just wish it could last. But it'll be another Reaping soon..." Finnick was saying. His eyes drifted close. "Then another... then another... then another..."

He was right, of course, but Athena said still, "Let's not think about that right now. We've got time still."

"That's true," he conceded. "Never feels like enough, though... still. I know it's best not to give in to it. It's hard not to get lost in it, and then once you have... well, you know. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."

This was, in fact, something Athena knew very well. It took so little to be torn apart, yet the road to come back together was long and hard and exhausting and overwhelming... but not impossible. She tried to imagine it, just for a moment, her and Finnick, her mother and Calypso, Mags and Annie, not perfect, perhaps, but all whole again. The thought made her heart lift and made her smile a little. It might have been wishful thinking, it might be that the next day reality would come crashing down upon her, crushing her and caging her as always, but for now, she saw a chance. And if they couldn't try to reach that point, that wholeness, if nothing else, what was there to try for? If there was nothing to try for, then what was really left?

"Well," Athena said slowly, "good thing the one thing we have lots of is time, then."

He looked back up at her at that. Slowly, a soft smile, one that seemed to be all over his face and lit up his eyes in a way that made her heart swell, spread across his face. He didn't say anything, but he sat back up, moving to sit beside her and putting an arm around her. She smiled a little at the gesture, placing her head on his shoulder.

The sun was beginning to set now. It would be rising again before long, though. A new day would begin whether they liked it or not, followed by another, then another, then another. A boy with dark hair and a kind smile had always loved that about sunrises, and a girl with braided golden blonde hair and a stubborn nature had always thought he was weird for it, but Athena had always understood, had always appreciated the mindset. The sun brought new days. New days meant new chances to try. The sun confirmed that it was not the end of the world, that the suffering was not so big or endless as she thought. There was more than the suffering. And the sun would always come back, day after day.

_"We'll always have the sun..."_

And as Athena and Finnick left their hiding place at the edge of the universe, side by side, closer than they perhaps needed to be and the setting sun framing them, walking back to her mother and sister and Mags and Annie, to the place that had, at some point, become home, Athena Maris' mind was clear. When the challenges of the future inevitably came charging towards them, there would be nothing for it but to keep moving forward, and though the odds were not quite in their favour, she found she liked them well enough. There would be nothing for it but to face it head-on and  _try._ And it might just be a matter of time before the tides would turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has decided to read this story - the first few chapters of the next story will be up next week :)
> 
> Happy Reading.


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